my upbringing essay

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✍️Essay on Childhood: Samples in 100, 150 and 200 Words

my upbringing essay

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  • Nov 2, 2023

Essay on Childhood

Essay on Childhood: How was your childhood? I bet it was full of adventure, fun and joyful activities. Agatha Christie has rightly said – ‘One of the luckiest things that can happen to you in life is, I think, to have a happy childhood.’ Childhood memories are considered one of the most beautiful days one can ever experience in their life. Those are the days one can never forget. Well, no amount of words can describe those good old days. Today we will highlight the importance of childhood with some essays on childhood which you can use anywhere.

Table of Contents

  • 1 Importance of Childhood
  • 2 Essay on Childhood in 100 Words
  • 3 Essay on Childhood in 150 Words
  • 4 Essay on Childhood in 200 Words

Importance of Childhood

Childhood is life’s early stage of development where growth and changes rapidly take place A child needs to be nurtured and loved by all their family, friends, and teachers around him. At the same time, the child must have a healthy childhood to have a better mental health lifelong.

Childhood is that stage where young children get to learn about themselves as well as their surroundings. Early childhood is the best time to learn about developing good habits that will help them shape their future and at the same time be good human beings. Children should get into the habit of eating healthy food, getting fresh air, drinking plenty of water and finally doing a lot of exercise. By doing so, this will help them to grow into resilient adults who will be able to handle any situation.

Moreover, a child’s childhood is that period of their lifetime when they get to develop their personalities. Also, it is the time when they must be exposed to a variety of situations to develop into responsible people. It is important to remember that childhood is a time when children learn from their experiences and mistakes, explore various opportunities and create memories from them. 

Also Read: Essay on the Importance of the English Language for Students

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Essay on Childhood in 100 Words

Childhood is that period when a child is considered to be one of the most carefree and joyful. In this period, a child has a lot of innocence, an unlimited number of opportunities and is naive. 

Some of the best childhood memories one can have are learning new things, playing with their friends, spending time with their family and finally learning skills which will help them lifelong. We all can recall those days when we used to play various types of games with our friends in the evening after school. The excitement of finishing our studies and going out, those days of watching our favourite TV shows can never be forgotten. 

Apart from all the fun days, childhood is the best time for personal development. We pick up the skills necessary such as communication skills and engage with the world. Each of us develops our distinct interests.

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Essay on Childhood in 150 Words

We all remember that magical period of our lives- Childhood. It was that time of our lives when the world around us was full of excitement when we were surrounded by our close ones and had nothing to worry about. Those days when all we had to do was study, meet friends, go to school and play outside. We all had created our exciting worlds. 

One of my most treasured childhood memories is, spending time with family and friends. Those days when we would visit our grandparent’s house, listening to stories during vacations is another of the best memories. All these memories have led to the creation of a unique bond between our family and who we have become as adults.

Apart from all the memories, childhood is the most important period of our lives when we get to learn new things and mould ourselves. It is rightly said that what we learn during our childhood days we get to carry throughout our lives.

How beautiful was that period, when we got to cultivate our talents, pick up new skills, and create our own distinct identities 

Also Read: Essay on Unity in Diversity in 100 to 200 Words

Essay on Childhood in 200 Words

Childhood is a magical period of one’s life. Those days of innocence, fun and endless possibilities, oh, how can one forget that It is now that we wish that we had the chance to relive that period once again? How can we forget that time when we created an endless amount of memories which will last a lifetime?

Gone are those days when we fought with our parents to buy us toys or play. With time, the definition of childhood has also changed. Children in the 21st century will now have a unique childhood experience, shaped by the technological advancements and social changes of our time. Now, children have access to information on their electronic devices (iPads/Phones). How can we forget, that children now prefer to use smartphones for entertaining themselves rather than playing outside? 

Despite these changes, the meaning of childhood can change no matter if the way of living has changed. Growing children still crave the love, support and guidance which will help them to be responsible adults. 

To conclude, everybody’s childhood is a priceless period. Parents and other adults who care for children contribute to their joyful and fulfilled childhood by showing them love, support, and guidance.

Related Articles

The time of life from birth to adolescence is known as childhood. It is a period of fast-paced cognitive, emotional, and physical growth. During this period, children learn and develop, acquiring the knowledge and skills necessary to succeed as adults.

Early experiences have a significant impact on how the brain develops in children.

There is no specified age for childhood. It depends on the person’s brain development. A person aged 18 or 21 can be considered as a child than someone who is 16 or 17.

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Malvika is a content writer cum news freak who comes with a strong background in Journalism and has worked with renowned news websites such as News 9 and The Financial Express to name a few. When not writing, she can be found bringing life to the canvasses by painting on them.

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Home — Essay Samples — Life — Personal Growth and Development — The Environment in Which I Was Raised: a Reflection

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The Environment in Which I Was Raised: a Reflection

  • Categories: Moral Development Personal Growth and Development

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Published: Sep 5, 2023

Words: 673 | Page: 1 | 4 min read

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Familial foundation, cultural influences, community connection, environmental consciousness.

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my upbringing essay

My Values in Life Personal Essay

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Introduction

My values in life.

Personal values are qualities that one considers to be worthwhile and, as such, act as the driving force in their life. They take precedence over other qualities and therefore dictate the manner in which an individual may behave in particular instances. When it comes to my values in life, I have a few that I hold dear.

These values are a result of my upbringing, development, my principles, as well as my socialization and the culture around me. In this “my values in life” essay, I shall identify the core beliefs that I hold and how they influence my everyday choices, actions, and plans that I make.

One of the educational values that are fundamental to me is achievement. This is a result of my belief that what defines me most as a person is my determination to succeed and my desire to make a positive contribution to society through my career. Achievement is, therefore, one of the values that are most important to me since, in today’s world, achievement and success are mostly tied together with educational success. As a result of this, I hold my educational exploits in high esteem since education is one of the avenues where one’s determination leads to quantifiable success.

I greatly value close relationships with my friends and constantly seek to cement the same. This is because good friends can assist one in achieving his/her goals in life and can sometimes even be closer than family. For this reason, I invest a lot of time and effort in my close friends. I make it a priority to be a part of the significant moments in my friends’ lives, such as their birthdays, wedding days, and even baby christening ceremonies. In addition to this, I always ensure that I inquire as to their well beings periodically.

Growth and personal development for me is a very fundamental value, and its importance in my life cannot be understated. It is my belief that my life is not worth much if I do not strive to constantly improve on my achievements as well as in becoming a better person. This value of personal growth and development greatly impacts my daily living, especially when establishing new relations. It is generally my rule that if a new relationship does not add any value to my life, then I should not waste my time exploring it.

One of the constant realities in human life is that we will always be surrounded by needy people. As such, on a social level, I always strive to give my services to the less fortunate. In my opinion, a life well lived is one that is lived in such a way that it makes a difference to someone else’s life. This is the philosophy with which I have led my life up to this point, and at all times, I try to make a difference in the lives of the people that surround me. Helping other people is, therefore, a value that I value not only in myself but also in other people.

While modern-day living has somewhat led to a degradation of the value of family from what it used to be in gone years, I still hold the value of family to be very important in my life. To me, one’s family members are the ones who will stand by you no matter the situation and encourage you through life’s troubles.

While I reckon that family may not always be supportive or as ideal as I envision it, in my experience, my family is closely knit and always stands up for me. I, therefore, always have my family in mind when making my decisions and consider how my actions will affect them. In addition, I try to seek guidance from members of the family who are more experienced than I am before making monumental decisions in my life.

It has been argued that honest men and women are a dying breed. This statement holds true in our capitalistic society, where profits and personal gains are the primary objectives. The means by which one achieves success is often overlooked, and as such, the ends justify the means.

Even in the midst of such an environment, I still hold honesty as one of my core values. This is mostly a result of my upbringing, whereby honesty was applauded and dishonesty shunned. Also, I have come to realize that when one achieves success through honesty, the level of satisfaction that comes with it is truly unrivaled by any other feeling.

Owing to my upbringing, I have a huge regard for religion. As such, one of my spiritual values is engaging myself in some religious organizations. While it is true that most of my religious values are a result of my upbringing, I have, over time, come to embrace them as my own and therefore make it my personal duty to be actively involved in my religious organization.

To me, this brings about a sense of balance and helps me be more reflective and appreciative in my life. My religious values impact my decision-making since I try not to make choices that are contrary to my religious beliefs.

In this paper, I have identified some of the values that I hold dear to me. I have also identified how these values impact the choices that I make as well as the actions that I take. From this deep exploration of my values, I have come to the realization that my values greatly dictate how I treat the people around me as well as how I prioritize matters. I believe that as a result of my values, I strive harder to achieve the things that I want in life, and as such, I am a better person as a result of them.

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IvyPanda. (2018, July 15). My Values in Life. https://ivypanda.com/essays/my-values-in-life/

"My Values in Life." IvyPanda , 15 July 2018, ivypanda.com/essays/my-values-in-life/.

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IvyPanda . 2018. "My Values in Life." July 15, 2018. https://ivypanda.com/essays/my-values-in-life/.

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My Childhood Essay In 100 – 200 Words

In this essay, we explore the topic of “My Childhood” from the perspective of a student. From fond memories to important life lessons, we provide a brief overview of what makes childhood a special and formative time in our lives.

My Childhood Essay (100 to 200 words) For Student

1. Introduction Paragraph

Childhood is a special time in everyone’s life, and I cherish the memories of my childhood. It was a time of innocence, wonder, and discovery. Looking back, I realize that my childhood has shaped who I am today.

2. Body Paragraph

My childhood was filled with joyful moments spent with family and friends. I remember playing in the park, going on picnics, and celebrating birthdays with loved ones. These memories have stayed with me and remind me of the importance of cherishing the time we have with the people we care about.

My childhood was also a time of learning and growth. I learned many important life lessons that have stayed with me throughout my life. I learned the value of hard work, discipline, and perseverance. I also learned the importance of honesty, kindness, and respect for others.

As a child, I was full of curiosity and wonder. I loved exploring the world around me and asking questions about how things worked. This curiosity has stayed with me and has led me to pursue my interests and passions.

Looking back, I realize that my childhood was a time of great freedom and creativity. I had the opportunity to be imaginative and express myself through various forms of art and play. This creative freedom has helped me to develop a unique perspective and a strong sense of individuality.

3. Conclusion

In conclusion, childhood is a special time in our lives that shapes who we are as individuals. My childhood was filled with happy memories, important life lessons, and opportunities for learning and growth. I am grateful for the experiences I had and the people who helped shape me into the person I am today.

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Home Essay Samples Life Childhood Memories

A Story From My Childhood: A Cherished Memory

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Memories of my Childhood

This essay about the elusive nature of childhood memories discusses the author’s personal experience with not being able to recall early life events clearly. It explores the feelings of disconnection and envy towards others who can vividly remember their pasts, while also investigating the psychological phenomenon of childhood amnesia that makes early memories inaccessible for many. The text reflects on how this lack of memories impacts the author’s sense of identity, leading to a deeper appreciation for the present moment and the importance of living mindfully. Additionally, it touches upon the significance of shared stories from family and friends in bridging the gap left by personal memory gaps, suggesting that identity can be shaped by more than just individual recollection. Through this exploration, the essay offers insights into the complexity of memory and identity formation.

How it works

Childhood memories often stand as a foundation upon which we build the narrative of our lives. These early experiences, theoretically, should shape our preferences, fears, and personalities. However, what does it mean for one’s sense of self if these memories are not just blurred but seemingly non-existent? This contemplation leads me into the depths of my own recollections, or the lack thereof, as I grapple with the realization that my childhood memories are not as accessible or vivid as they seem to be for others.

The phenomenon isn’t as rare as one might assume. Conversations with peers often lead to a shared sense of bewilderment when topics of early memories arise. It’s not a matter of traumatic experiences blocking these memories but rather a gentle haze that obscures them. This fog doesn’t discriminate by the emotional weight of the memory. Both mundane and momentous events lie beyond my cognitive reach, leaving me to wonder about the texture of my early life experiences.

The absence of these memories prompts a peculiar form of envy when I observe others recounting their childhood with clarity and affection. There’s a certain richness to their narrative of self that seems to be missing from my own. Yet, this absence also forces a different kind of introspection. It propels me to question the role of memory in shaping identity. If memories are the building blocks of our personal narratives, what happens when those blocks are missing? Are we less ourselves, or does it simply compel us to anchor our identity in the present more firmly?

The search for answers leads to an exploration of the mechanisms of memory. Memory is not a video recorder accurately capturing every moment of our lives. It is selective, reconstructive, and often fallible. Childhood amnesia, the term psychologists use to describe the general absence of memories from our early years, affects most people to varying degrees. Understanding this phenomenon sheds light on the commonality of my experience, offering comfort in the realization that the fog is a universal aspect of human memory.

This understanding prompts a shift in perspective. Instead of mourning the absence of these memories, I begin to view it as an invitation to a different kind of mindfulness. The present becomes not just a moment passing into the fog of memory but a space of acute awareness and appreciation. The relationships and experiences of now gain a heightened significance, serving as the vivid colors in the tapestry of my narrative.

Moreover, this contemplation of memory and identity brings to light the importance of shared stories. In the absence of personal memories, the stories told by family and friends become precious threads connecting me to my past. These narratives, while not remembered firsthand, form a mosaic of my early years, offering glimpses into the child I once was. They serve as reminders that while my personal recollection may be foggy, my existence in those moments was real and impactful.

In the end, the exploration of my absent childhood memories reveals a rich landscape of understanding and acceptance. It highlights the complexities of memory, the fluidity of identity, and the profound beauty of the present moment. While the early chapters of my life may remain hidden in the fog, the journey of discovery they have prompted illuminates the path forward with a newfound appreciation for the stories we live and those we tell.

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Essay on My Childhood

Students are often asked to write an essay on My Childhood in their schools and colleges. And if you’re also looking for the same, we have created 100-word, 250-word, and 500-word essays on the topic.

Let’s take a look…

100 Words Essay on My Childhood

Introduction.

My childhood was a beautiful period of my life. It was full of joy, love, and innocence. The memories are still fresh and bring a smile to my face.

I lived in a small town with my family. Our house was surrounded by trees and flowers. It was like living in nature’s lap.

My family was my world. My parents always encouraged me to explore and learn. My siblings were my partners in every adventure.

My childhood was indeed a golden period. It shaped me into the person I am today.

250 Words Essay on My Childhood

Childhood, the most innocent phase of man’s life. With the passage of time, it fades into adolescence and adulthood, yet the sweet memories of childhood linger on. My childhood recollections are those of a sheltered and carefree life, nurtured with love and concern.

My Childhood Home

The house where I grew up was old and quaint. It was nestled in the heart of nature, surrounded by verdant trees and chirping birds. The morning sun that peeked through the dew-kissed leaves was enough to fill our hearts with joy.

Family and Friends

My family was small, loving, and caring. My parents were always there to encourage and guide us. Being the eldest, I felt the weight of responsibility. My younger siblings were my best companions in my childhood exploits. Our shared laughter and tears still echo in my mind.

Childhood Games

We spent most of our time playing in the open fields, climbing trees, or swimming in the river. The games of childhood, like hide and seek, cricket, and tag, were not just games but lessons that instilled teamwork, honesty, and resilience in us.

Education and Learning

School was another important aspect of our childhood. The teachers were strict yet loving, and the lessons learned from them went far beyond the textbooks. They taught us respect, discipline, and the value of hard work.

500 Words Essay on My Childhood

Childhood, often considered the golden period of life, is a phase that lays the foundation of a person’s future. It is a time of innocence, play, learning, and growth. My childhood, too, was a vibrant blend of these elements, shaping me into the individual I am today.

My Early Years

I was born and raised in a small town, a place where everyone knew everyone. The community was close-knit, and the feeling of togetherness was palpable. My parents, both teachers, instilled in me the love for learning from an early age. They encouraged curiosity, fostering an environment where questions were welcomed and exploration was celebrated.

The Power of Play

Academic foundation.

My academic journey began at the local elementary school, where I was introduced to the world of letters and numbers. My parents, being educators, emphasized the importance of a strong academic foundation. They taught me to value knowledge and to strive for excellence. This early focus on academics instilled in me a lifelong love for learning and a thirst for knowledge that continues to drive me today.

Life Lessons

However, my childhood was not just about play and academics. It was also a time when I learnt some of life’s most significant lessons. I learnt about empathy when I saw my parents helping those in need. I learnt about responsibility when I was given small tasks at home. I learnt about the value of hard work when I saw my parents juggling multiple roles. These lessons have had a profound impact on my character and worldview.

Impact on My Future

As I reflect on my childhood, I realize the immense influence it has had on my life. It was a time of growth, learning, and exploration that has shaped my personality, values, and aspirations. It was a period that laid the foundation for my future, and for that, I will always be grateful. In the end, my childhood was not just a period of my life; it was the beginning of my journey of becoming who I am today.

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The family is a small social group of people related by affection or sharing common values and goals. They may live together in the same dwelling, bear and raise children and, therefore, have an individual ongoing physical or emotional connection with each other. Formed by a nuclear grouping or more complicated combinations of relatives, the family is the foundation of all societies. In the primary stage of life, everyone in the generation lives together in one house. The concepts and teachings of the family are important in personality formation. Human behavior is mostly based on moral and ethical principles. Human behavior suffers external influences. However, a higher percentage of the character gets formed from the familiar doctrine. Man deals with changes in his entire life but still preserves its origin. Family is the main tool that structures personality and guarantees the provisions for the children. The family upbringing has components as norms, values and rules acting as support that give a person a healthy identity. As a result, when children get to adulthood they can exert positive and productive life activities. Parents ought to educate them, and they will have moral values compatible with their cultures. Scientists have proved that the family can interfere with the formation process of a child’s personality, giving chance to living in an environment where they feel loved, respected and motivated to develop their potential. Children get born with part of their personalities already formed. They have inherited genetic traces that determine some physical and behavioral character traits. The family must act coherently because personality is a result of some formed and fixed characteristics determining the interaction of the individual with the environment. For children to have good social and psychological formation, the family should have a well-defined structure.

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Childhood Memories Essay

Recalling childhood memories lead us to experience the feelings of our old days. These childhood memories are such that they last forever. Some memories help us to recall the pleasant moments of our life. But, some of the memories scare us because we have both good and bad experiences in our childhood. These childhood memories help us to go through the tough days of our lives in a happy and cheerful manner. They give strength to overcome difficult situations and fight against them. This essay on childhood memories will help students to write an effective essay. After going through this article, they can describe their childhood memories in a better way. For more CBSE essays , students must practise essay writing on different topics.

500+ Words Essay on Childhood Memories

We all remember our childhood friends, interesting incidents relating to them, our family members, relatives, and so many other things. Childhood is a lovely time that everyone remembers. It is the period that everyone cherishes as this builds our foundation when we are growing. In our childhood, we were carefree and innocent. We don’t know what jealousy is and have no complexes regarding ourselves and others. It was time for play, studies and vacations. We were gorging on our favourite food without any restrictions, playing pranks on our siblings, and supporting our siblings when we had to face the wrath of our parents. Those days won’t come back, but we can remember those childhood memories.

My Childhood Memories

I have a lot of childhood memories. Here, I will be sharing the one which is the most memorable to me. In my childhood, we used to go to my grandparents’ house at least once a year. We mostly visit my grandparents’ house during my school summer vacation. My grandparents live in a small village which is located near Kanpur city in Uttar Pradesh. I wake up early in the morning and go to the farmhouse. Near the farmhouse, we have farming land, where various crops are grown. By that time in the summer, the crops are ready to harvest. I love to see the harvesting process. In the farmhouse, I get prepared by taking a bath in the running water of the tubewell. I love that moment. The cold water and fresh air refresh my mind, and it starts my day full of positive energy.

My grandmother cooks the food in the traditional style by using the “Chulha”, a U-shaped mud stove made from local clay. I love the taste of cooked food. It’s so delicious and yummy. Also, during summer, my grandmother made papad, pickles of mango and green chilli. I just love eating them. We also have one cow and two buffaloes in the farmhouse. Due to this, there is a lot of milk and curd available in my house. It’s my duty to make Lassi, and we drink it every day after having lunch. At night, we sleep on the terrace to feel cool during summer. All my cousins gather at the terrace, and we enjoy it together. Everyone drinks a glass of milk before going to sleep.

Another naughty incident that I remember from my childhood was when I was studying at LKG. My parents had gone for a walk after having dinner at night. They informed me that they would be coming back soon, so I should not lock the door from the inside. I was watching the TV and said ok. After some time, I went to the kitchen to have a glass of water, and I locked the main door. I didn’t realise when I slept while watching the TV. My parents came, and they kept knocking on the door. I didn’t get up, and they had to be outside the home for the whole night. They went to the neighbours’ house and stayed there. In the morning, when I got up, I opened the door and called my parents.

Childhood is the best part of everyone’s life. Childhood memories give us different kinds of experiences. Whatever we have learned in our childhood lasts for a long time. Some experiences are joyful, while some help us learn lessons. These lessons give us the strength to stay positive in life even when situations are not in our favour.

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How Indifference Became My Shield From A Chaotic Childhood — 'The Things My Father Did Are Unforgivable'

In my upbringing, nobody discussed what went on behind closed doors..

  • Deanna Bugalski

Written on Sep 18, 2024

Indifferent woman, shielding herself from her chaotic childhood

I grew up in a chaotic home. In the 1980s, people kept chaotic homes a secret. No one discussed what went on behind closed doors. The illusion of a happy family was all that seemed important to the outsiders looking in. As a result of my childhood experiences, I decided to cut all ties with my father when I was 19.

I made this decision during our final phone conversation , not out of anger but rather by asking the straightforward question, “Do you feel any remorse or regret for the way you treated us? ” His resounding “ I regret nothing ” response made my choice clear. 

The term narcissist has become the buzzword as a way to describe any person who seems to have caused harm. However, my father is a genuine, psychiatrist-diagnosed narcissist . The things he did to my family and me are unforgivable. In this day and age, the police might have taken him away if the same circumstances had occurred; nevertheless, my childhood is now in the past. 

According to research , data suggests that adults who experienced physical abuse as children may be as much as twice as likely to experience depression and anxiety and are more likely to develop chronic illnesses than adults who were not physically abused as children. I spent many years being angry and wanting some form of justice.

But there's no justice when a child grows up in an abusive home. Even if the perpetrator does get their comeuppance, the child still bears the psychological wounds. The decision to cut ties with my father allowed me to let go of my anger and made me feel at peace with my feelings.

RELATED: Why I Won’t Talk to My Parents About My Childhood Trauma

Now, all I have left from my chaotic childhood is indifference.

Elie Wiesel , a Romanian-born Jewish American writer, Nobel Laureate, political activist, and Holocaust survivor, delivered an incredibly moving speech at the White House, discussing The Perils of Indifference .

“Indifference does not elicit a response. Indifference is not a response. Indifference is not a beginning; it is an end. Indifference, then, is not only a sin; it is a punishment.”

In my case, indifference isn’t forgetting and most certainly not forgiving; it’s just running out of steam that you once put in to manage the chronic flight or fight responses. After I let go of the anger from my childhood, I made myself one promise: I would ensure that if I ever had children, they would not grow up in the same chaotic household as I did.

My husband is nothing at all like my father. He is kind, caring, and rational. He would never get violent with me or our kids. He didn’t grow up in a chaotic house. When he was thirteen, his parents divorced, and his mother’s and father’s houses surrounded him with love and support. That’s also because they are outstanding people. However, herein lies the problem:

My husband doesn’t understand growing up in a chaotic home.

Thankfully, he has no experience with having to tiptoe around to try and make yourself invisible so as not to draw unwanted angry attention to some minor infringement. He finds it incomprehensible that a house can be quiet and serene one moment, only to witness doors slamming, people screaming, and ceramic dinner plates smashed the next. He has never heard the wailing of your younger sibling being flogged with a belt just because she was afraid to go to sleep at night.

He also never had to fight back in self-defense by slamming an alarm clock into the side of his father’s head so that he would stop trying to hurt him physically. Over the years, he has commented to me, “ It couldn’t have been that bad ,” or suggested, “ Maybe you should speak to him again .”

My husband doesn’t say these things to upset me; he wants me to be happy. He also comes from a family with strong bonds, so he can’t comprehend how I can cut ties with my father. It’s partially my fault that he doesn’t understand my feelings about the past. I never told him too much about it. There was never a compelling reason for me to share it. Blame my indifference.

RELATED: Why I Refuse To Forgive Anyone In My Life, Including My Mom

parents arguing behind sad young girl

I've dealt with my feelings about my childhood, and there was no reason to rehash the past or revisit the most difficult times I had to go through in my mind. 

Over the years, many people have made various comments questioning why I made my choice or what reasons I have not to forgive. Those people didn’t grow up in my home, and I’m not very forthcoming about telling my story. It’s natural for people to be curious about my childhood if they haven’t walked in the shoes of someone who has experienced trauma. 

It is also natural for them to want to offer their thoughts and advice or tell me what they would do in my situation. It’s times like this that succeed in igniting the anger within me again. I don’t have repressed memories or feelings; I’m well aware of what went on. I have no desire or interest in discussing it. I also will not justify my choices that helped me heal. Indifference will do that to a person. 

We have three children together. Unlike my father , my husband was home and present with them when they were little. As expected, when I had my first child, he asked me if now would be a good time to repair the relationship I once had with my father. Of course, I shut down that ridiculous idea. 

When my second daughter was two years old, my younger sister was getting married. My sister has always remained in contact with my father. That’s her choice, one I do not attempt to understand, but she has her reasons. My sister wanted my daughters to be flower girls at her wedding; I was also a bridesmaid. 

RELATED: Woman Banned From Sister’s Wedding After She Refused To Take Off A Piece Of Jewelry Upon The Bride’s Request

smiling bride and bridesmaids

Our whole family was so excited for my sister's upcoming wedding but my only concern was that my father would be there. I hadn’t seen him in years.

Before the big day, my sister asked me to put the past aside and be civil with him for her sake. I expected that the day would come when I would have to face my father again, and I wasn’t worried in the slightest. My indifference hadn’t changed.

He couldn’t do anything to hurt me. I was now an adult, married, and had my own children — any power he once held dissipated along with my feelings about the past. The only major hurdle was that I was hosting the wedding rehearsal dinner at my home a few days before the wedding. My sister insisted that my father, who was giving her away and giving a speech, had to be present.

My sister assured me he would be on his best behavior; she said she would personally see to it that if the evening went pear-shaped, she would be the one to deal with it all. The enormity of what they were asking of me is difficult to express.

Not only would I have to host a huge dinner party at my house, but I would also have to host the one person on the planet I’d happily never see or hear from again . I also forgot that my mother would have to eat at the same table as the man who nearly destroyed her life.

In addition, my husband had never met my father, and my father had never met my children. This was a tsunami brewing among some very rough seas.

The evening was enjoyable. My house was sparkling, and everyone arrived feeling happy and excited about the upcoming wedding. Then my sister arrived with him. I opened the front door and came face-to-face with a much older, frailer version of the man I once knew, the man whose head I smashed with my alarm clock.

As expected, he entered with the same bravado as PT Barnum, opening his nightly traveling circus show. Huge smile, outstretched arms — the life of the party had arrived. Narcissism at its finest.

RELATED: 9 Ways Narcissists Ruin Every Social Event

calm and peaceful woman in field of flowers

The evening I confronted my father, I was acutely aware I had a choice to make. 

I could choose to let go of the past, ignore my indifference, and, for one night, embrace this man who had been entirely responsible for igniting my battles with mental health. Or, I could choose to use my secret weapon to get through the night — my indifference.

I kept my distance from him for most of the night. If he approached me for a conversation, I was task-focused with a quick exit to avoid potential confrontations. Towards the end of the night, he found me in the kitchen, alone, while I was cleaning up all the dishes. It was clear that the moment of reckoning had arrived. He would speak, and I had no escape plan, so I had yet to consider this scenario.

However, something intriguing happened. My body didn’t go into a fight-or-flight response . My blood pressure didn’t rise, I didn’t feel hot, and my breathing remained regular. I didn’t feel anything.

The old man who resembled the tyrant who was once my father stood across from me and said, “I know it’s been many years since we’ve spoken, but I need you to know tonight has been so wonderful. I am just so proud of you. I’m so proud of all you have achieved. Your husband, your children, this beautiful home — you have done so well for yourself, and nothing makes a father prouder.”

I recall taking my time to formulate my response to him. The last thing I wanted was to spit out a reactionary response. One part of me wanted to scream into his face, “How dare you call yourself my father and have any sense of pride in how my life turned out after all you’ve done? You lost the right to comment on my family or life many years ago when you chose your evil, narcissistic pride over the chance to make amends for all the damage you did.” 

But I didn’t say that.

My indifference kept me safe from causing a scene. My indifference prevented me from engaging in an emotional response, which would have resulted in handing my power back to a man whose blood flowed with the need for authority and dominance over others. I looked him in the eyes and said, “Thank you. I do have a wonderful life, and it’s all despite you. Now, please go back into the other room and celebrate my sister.”

One recent study from the Journal of Marriage and Family found that 26 percent reported estrangement from fathers . A much smaller share, 6 percent, had cut ties with mothers. In the pre-Internet era, cutting off a parent might have meant changing a telephone number and tearing up the occasional letter. It’s harder now, with Instagram, Twitter and text messaging.

RELATED: Dad Demands His Estranged Daughter Pay Back $18K In Child Support If She Wants To Reconnect

hand washing dishes

My indifference was what helped me heal from the anger and trauma I had long held onto from my childhood. 

In my darkest hours, when I battled depression and apathy for life, I remembered that I decided my children would never grow up in a chaotic home. The indifference I had chosen to develop the strength to move beyond my past gave me the clarity in my low moments to choose never to become the parent or the person who was anything like my father.

Unlike him, I would take any necessary action to manage the challenging times. I had chosen to break the cycle of abuse and neglect and prioritize my mental health and the happiness of my family. My indifference towards my father allowed me to let go of the anger and pain, to find peace within myself, and to focus on creating a positive environment for my children.

Some may view indifference as a negative trait, but for me, it was the key to my healing and growth. I used it as a shield to prevent myself from regressing into a toxic past and as a tool to propel myself forward with strength and resilience. In my case, indifference was not a punishment but a form of self-preservation and empowerment. And that is my solution.

There are ways to help child abuse victims. Want to get involved to bring an end to child sexual abuse? There are a few things you can do. There are organizations like Prevent Child Abuse America that are good places to start and that are always looking for people to donate their time and money to their efforts. 

The organization also suggests writing to local elected officials to support policies that bring an end to sexual abuse, and of course, the simplest thing to do is to keep eyes and ears open and to report abuse when you see it — and to always take children seriously when they say they're being abused.

RELATED: The Tiny Way To Know If Your Childhood Trauma Is Affecting You Now

Deanna Bugalski is an Australian reality storyteller and fabulously chaotic mom of three, who writes about human interests topics, travel, entertainment, and mental health.

This article was originally published at Medium . Reprinted with permission from the author.

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  • Childhood Memories Essay

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Essay on Childhood Memories

Memories are one of the most crucial things we can cherish throughout our lives. They build up our personality as all our knowledge and previous experiences are stored there. Memories can be both good and bad. There are memories either from long ago or from the recent past. In our critical times, we may get some refreshment by recalling our memories. We can run our lives smoothly with the help of these memories. Memories help us in many ways. We can rectify ourselves from past mistakes. Childhood memories are treasured by all of us. They make us smile even in our old age. 

Importance of Childhood Memory:

Childhood memories are very significant in our lives. We can recall the best times of our lives. Childhood memories build up our future and way of thinking. People with good childhood memories are happy people. On the other hand some bad childhood memories also affect the future of an individual. 

The things a person learns during childhood remain as important lessons and memories for life. It applies to things like family and society values, morals, learning the importance of friendships and being respectful to adults. Without learning proper manners, people can become reckless and take unnecessary risks in life. 

Childhood memories are also strongly related to good habits such as proper discipline and cultivating the proper attitude in life. These values, which are very important for success in adult life, cannot be learnt overnight at a later stage. 

A childhood memory definitely does not define anyone but they play a pivotal role in one’s life. It is not necessary that a person with good memories always lives a prosperous life while a person with bad memories always lives a hazardous life. Sometimes, ghastly childhood memories make a man stronger. 

Nevertheless, it can be said that the inner child is kept alive by childhood memories. There is always a child inside every person. It may come out all of a sudden at any stage in life. It may also be expressed every day in the little things that we enjoy doing. 

Our inner child is especially seen when we meet our  childhood friends. Regardless of how grown up we think we are, we go back to kids the moment we are with old friends. Memories also take up the bulk of our conversation when we meet old friends after many years. The trip down memory lane is bittersweet as we long for a time we will not get back but also cherish its joy. 

Some may be excited about seeing swings, some may act like a child when they see panipuri. The reason behind the facts is we are reminded by our childhood memories every time. The same happens when we enter the children’s play park and are reminded of our favourite rides. It is even more so when we ate ice cream or our favourite ice candy when we were 5 years old.  Hence, childhood memories play a very vital role in our lives. 

My Childhood Memories:

I was born and brought up in a very adorable family. I have grown up with my elder brother with whom I used to play a lot. I remember each and every game we used to play together. Every moment is very precious to me. In the afternoon, we used to play cricket in our nearby ground. The memories of playing in the ground together are mesmerising. 

Another beautiful thing I can remember is flying kites. It used to be one of the most exciting things of my childhood. Even the older members of the family participated with us. We used to fly kites on our terrace. The kite-flying programme would last for the entire day.

Another beautiful thing I can remember is my visit to the zoo with my family. We made one zoo visit every year. They used to be those very simple yet fun-filled family picnic moments. We would carry packed food from home that my mother used to cook. My elder brother would click several photographs of us. When I look at those pictures now, the memories come alive. Today, so many things have changed but my childhood memories are still fresh in my heart. It feels so refreshing to relive them again and again. My childhood memories are very close to my heart and make me smile on my difficult days.

Perhaps the time I remember very fondly was going to swimming classes. I have always loved playing in the water, and swimming in clear pools was always an exciting activity. Even though I loved the water, at first I could not swim as I was not aware of the basics of the sport. Slowly, as I learnt to kick and paddle, it became easier to swim in shallow water. The big test was swimming in deep water as it was a terrifying thought and simultaneously exciting. I still remember the day I decided to let go of my fears and dived into the deep end of the pool. The instant I jumped into the water, the fear was gone, and I swam like a fish to the other end of the pool. That day also taught me a valuable lesson about taking the first step in any daunting task. 

Conclusion: 

We should all cherish our childhood memories as they can always be our companion, our “bliss of solitude.” Simple things hold grave meaning when they are from their childhood days. The days were free of complexities and full of innocence. Hence, they are so close to heart.

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FAQs on Childhood Memories Essay

1. How to write a childhood memory essay?

The most important thing you will need to write this essay is about great childhood memories! You will have to look back in time and remember all the good and bad things that happened to you. As you get older, your memories will also change in their context as you change as a person. Like all essays, this should also have a steady narrative of the events from your childhood. You can choose to write only about the best memories you have or choose to write them as they occur. Some of the best things to write are topics such as your friends, your favourite games, and all the vacations you have been on and all the experiences you had in school.

2. How would you describe your childhood memories?

The older you get, the more the bits and pieces of your memory begin to fade or change. The best way to write about your childhood memories is to close your eyes and remember them. Then you have to start writing the events as they occurred without giving them context. Once the essay is written, the stories and events can be arranged as per the requirements of the essay. You can choose to describe your memories in any light you feel.

3. Why are childhood memories important?

Our childhood memories have a significant influence on who we are. People with mostly happy memories tend to be more relaxed with a positive outlook on life. People who have had traumatic memories tend to be more cautious and cynical in life. People can still change with positive or negative experiences in life. However, our childhood influences stay with us for the rest of our lives and can sometimes even come into conflict with the better choices we want to make. Therefore having childhood memories is a good reference to understanding ourselves and why we behave in certain ways.

4. What could be a common childhood memory for everyone?

Everybody remembers their “first-time” experiences in life. It could be things like the first day of school, the first time visiting a zoo, the first time taking a flight in an aeroplane, having a bad experience, etc.

My Decades-Long Journey to Curls

“My hair’s growth these years, much like mine, has been stunningly imperfect.”

A woman with curly, natural hair next to her daughter, both wearing white tops

When my daughter was 5—an age many parents will recognize as the peak of their children’s vulnerability to the Disney-industrial complex—she started asking me to straighten her beautiful curly hair. A girl in her Pre-K class had the sort of shiny cornsilk hair that is particularly appealing to young girls; a kind of hair my daughter ironically portmanteau’d into “belong” (blonde and long), and increasingly requested to emulate with each passing day.

“Your hair is beautiful the way it is, my love,” rolled out of my mouth with regularity, and I went about my days buying up little accoutrements that might support this thesis. An 18-by-24-inch poster of Diana Ross for her bedroom wall. Hot pink Denman brushes. Late ‘80s beaded hair ties from Goody, like the ones from my childhood, which slide swiftly out of straight hair but cling lovingly, assuringly, to textured hair.

Because yes, as a woman of biracial white and Afro-Caribbean lineage, my hair is also extremely curly. Not that my daughter would have known this at the time. The hours of labor and management that I put toward beating it into straight, limp submission each week masked even the slightest hint of texture, and she, who will be 11 this fall, had no idea that I had been performing this straightening ritual on myself since almost exactly her age.

Soon after she began asking for straightened hair, Tracee Ellis Ross launched the haircare line Pattern. Earlier that year, we had watched Mixed-ish together, a sort of TV-bonding attempt to help my daughter understand what it was like to grow up mixed race before the internet. As most people understandably do, she immediately fell in love with Ross, and I used this love as a springboard to playing with curly hair products. I ordered the entire line, I hung the marketing materials on her bedroom wall, and I showed her videos of grown women talking about their long journey to embracing and understanding their curls. It was, in its most innocuous form, a propaganda war on my part, fueled by a deep desire for my daughter to feel pride in her curls, her culture, the way her own hair grew out of her head.

Millimeter by millimeter, it grew back—first, with trepidation, clearly demonstrating an absolute lack of trust in my ability to just let it be.

I will always have time to take care of your hair , I told her, as we spent combined hours in the bathroom washing, detangling, leave-in-conditioning, gently drying, over and over. Your hair is beautiful exactly the way it is , I would say, and like most other things I say to her, I realized I was also talking to myself. And slowly—then very suddenly—she grew to love it.

When I was her age, on the cusp of my first relaxer appointment (after a hard won battle with my mom, a homeopath with a thick, majestic mane that even other white women envy), all I wanted to do was be free. My curls were variegated, heretic, like no one ever quite made a decision on what I was supposed to look like before they sent me to this earth. Caring for my hair had caused such discord in my relationship with my mother—and my own self image—that by the point we reached that salon chair I think we were both just trying to escape. I envisioned a result that would make white girls stop telling me my hair looked like Brillo and would finally transform me into the small Mariah Carey I knew myself to be. A butterfly, if you will.

It did not. Instead, it launched a many-decades-long, thankless side hustle of managing and maintaining my own hair to an obsessive degree. I gelled it to my head, pushed down the breakage, spent my after-school job money on product, and flat ironed every last drop of life out of it. I had neither escaped, nor was I free.

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I recently learned the term “presentism,” or the tendency to interpret past events through modern day values. It’s important to note that while many women still choose to relax their hair—and all people should feel free to do as they wish—in the mid-to-late ‘90s a regular relaxer, a blowout, and a flat iron, for many, felt like less of a choice and more of a foregone conclusion. It was not an indicator of self loathing as some love to call it today, it was a commonplace, practical, and fashionable solution. Through today’s eyes, when I remember emerging from the salon with fresh lye burns all over my scalp without batting an eye, I am horrified. But while I was in there, the other chairs were never empty. I was one of countless women with textured hair on a quest to flatten ourselves into a manageable oblivion.

Writer Anja Tyson with her daughter, both smiling against a white backdrop

When the natural hair movement started taking hold in the early 2010s, it did cross my mind that my hair was rehabilitatable, and I started experimenting with chopping off some of the lifeless inches at the ends. I considered the idea of going fully natural and all that it entailed: doing The Big Chop, switching up my products, making time and space to find out what my hair actually looked like after all these years. And shortly into this experimentation, I became pregnant with my daughter.

By the time she was born, any dream I had of having the time and space required to explore my natural hair disappeared when I unexpectedly became a solo parent. My weekly wash and straightening meant not having to think about my hair for the rest of the week, allowing me to work and care for a child. And I clung to that wash ritual extra hard, because that one moment each week was my single instance of self care. When everything around me felt very tenuous, there was a surety in the management of my hair. The routine was a life raft.

Two years ago, after successfully training my daughter to embrace and adore her curls, I was ready to let go. So much had happened in order to get me there, including blending families with my partner, which meant I found myself more resourced for time and support than I had ever been before as a parent.

At the start of that summer, I stopped all straightening and heat treatment, cold turkey. At first, there was not much difference; decades of abuse had trained my hair not to step out of line even if offered the chance. Millimeter by millimeter, it grew back—first, with trepidation, clearly demonstrating an absolute lack of trust in my ability to just let it be. I was irritated by how slowly it transformed, even though I realized that when you do nothing but beat something down for the majority of its natural born life it might take a while for it to feel safe enough to reveal its true self again. I realize now I was mostly irritated because its slow growth highlighted my sense of shame in how cruel I have been to my hair all these years.

So I stayed the course. I wish the story was that a few months later my hair became the sort of natural mane that dreams are made of. The process has been, at best, profoundly uncomfortable. Halting treatments on my hair opened the door to confront every insecure feeling I have ever had about my looks, some so vain and embarrassing that I felt like less of a person for even feeling them. In this process, I’ve felt messy and unprofessional, less sexy; like my cloud of hair takes up too much space, like I am not holding up my end of the bargain by having perfect straight hair or perfect curls, but rather some Frankenstein hybrid. I am still too chicken shit to do The Big Chop, and my hair is high maintenance. It demands attention, forethought, care.

Its growth these years, much like mine, has been stunningly imperfect.

In this process, I’ve felt messy and unprofessional, less sexy; like my cloud of hair takes up too much space, like I am not holding up my end of the bargain by having perfect straight hair or perfect curls, but rather some Frankenstein hybrid.

“Look under your straight hair, mommy!!” I started hearing. “You have beautiful curly hair, just like me!” This was my first summer of natural hair. We had arrived on the Amalfi Coast to some of the hottest humidity I’d experienced in my life, the air like soup, thick and boiling. In every year of my life prior, I would have been worried about sweating out my straight hair.

Stepping into the Tyrrhenian Sea was the only relief from the heat, and I waded out to my customary chest-deep position; preserving my straight hair has always been more important than submerging myself in water for recreational purposes. At this moment, I stood with my daughter clinging to me and edged out a little deeper, until it reached my neck, and a little deeper, until it lapped at my chin.

Then a wave came, submerging us both momentarily, and when we were above again, I laughed and wiped my face, my hair soaked. The next wave pulled us out, and we swam, fully submerged, the sea floor nowhere to be seen. The cool, salty water on my scalp felt otherworldly, like being incorporated into nature for the first time ever. The salt burned my eyes, my ears filled with water. I knew I would look a mess afterwards and for the first time in my life it did not matter to me at all.

Two years in, I am still uncomfortable, self-conscious, parading about trying to project a confidence I don’t honestly have. But something amazing has happened. My hair has begun to trust me. Now, down to my jaw, my original curls (all three patterns of them) are back, a little stronger and a little more insistent with every passing week. I’ve traded my heat tools for new gels, conditioners and oils, and I long for my weekly wash as a ritual the same way I used to long for the ritual of straightening.

I will always have time to take care of your hair , I tell myself, in my combined hours in the bathroom washing, detangling, leave-in-conditioning, gently drying, over and over. Your hair is beautiful exactly the way it is . And, years behind my own daughter, I have started to believe it.

This story appears in the 2024 Changemakers Issue of Marie Claire .

TK

Anja Tyson is a twenty year fashion industry vet who specializes in developing purpose and values-driven businesses through communications, culture, and sustainability. In addition to her work in fashion, beauty and wellness, she sits on the advisory boards of non-profits involved in food justice and aid for families and children. She is a writer and a mother, and her mail gets delivered to Manhattan but her heart will always live in Brooklyn. 

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