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20 Funny Homework Quotes That Will Make You Laugh Hard

Introduction

20 Funny Quotes About Homework

Many students hate homework, right? It can be really bothersome to spend time home finishing tasks for school when we can have fun and enjoy the time spent out of school. Whether you love studying or not, there must have been some time when you hated doing your homework. These funny homework quotes will remind you of the homework struggles and make you laugh with their wittiness.

Homework is a prolonged school “torture”.

Some students choose not to do their homework at all.

Time passes so slowly when we do our tasks.

If you want to be bored, do your homework.

One of the best perks of baseball.

Google doesn’t always know everything.

Everything is simple when you are younger.

How many times did your dog chew on your homework papers?

The trash can is a place where many homework assignments ended.

Copy-paste is one of the widely known techniques.

Everything is better than doing homework.

It is the right time to finish your homework when you are bored.

Some homework is just too difficult.

Homework is time-consuming and exhausting.

Sometimes you just can’t manage to finish all tasks on time.

Answers are not important, as long as we have the assignment finished.

Nobody thinks about homework in summer.

Funny homework quotes will make you laugh out loud.

No matter what, I don’t want to do my homework.

It is better to finish our homework when we are smarter.

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15 Funny and Motivational Quotes about Homework

When you think of homework, what comes to mind?

Maybe you think of worksheets and penmanship. Maybe you think of math drills and word problems. Maybe you think of busywork and time spent on unnecessary tasks. 

Whatever you think of, we’re pretty sure most people don’t have a positive association with homework. For kids, it means extra school work when school hours are over and they just want to play. For parents, it means time spent supervising or coaxing after a long day at work. And, for teachers, it means hours of grading once the kids go home. 

But, in defense of homework, we think there are some good reasons it exists that make us want to change our negative mindset about it! Homework helps to build responsibility and teach kids to work independently. It develops good study habits in students and can boost self-esteem and develop confidence. Afterall, everyone loves to see that bright red “100%” or “good job!” at the top of their paper! Some homework can help to develop critical thinking and problem solving skills. And it definitely teaches life lessons about time management.

At the end of the day, doing tasks that aren’t the most fun but are necessary is a part of life that teaches self-discipline. So here’s to buckling down, focusing hard, and knocking out your homework each day!

We’ve put together a list of 15 quotes about homework to help you look on the bright side of after-school learning. Some are motivational and some poke fun at what can seem like drudgery, but all of them are perfect for your letter board or other magnetic surface in your home or classroom!

• H.O.M.E.W.O.R.K. Half My Energy is Wasted on Random Knowledge
• Homework: the teacher's way of finding out how smart the parents are!
• I don’t procrastinate. I save my homework until the last minute so that, by the time I do it, I’ll be older and wiser.
• Study hard, do good, and the good life will follow.
• Time flies when you’re avoiding homework.
• Procrastination is the thief of time.
• Stay positive. Work hard. Get it done.
• Study as if you know nothing. Work as if you can solve everything.
• That feeling when you can’t find the answers to your homework on Google
• “Yay! Homework!” - no student ever
• Alexa, do my homework.
• The teacher can always tell when you did your homework on the bus.
• “The most effective way to do it is to do it.” - Amelia Earhart
• When in doubt, clear your desk, tie up your hair, grab a coffee, and just start.
• Focus on being productive instead of busy.

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GRACIOUS QUOTES

61 inspiring & funny homework quotes (assignment), top 25 most famous quotes about homework (best).

“Education is a cause very close to me. What matters is encouraging my fans to focus on their education, because only an educated generation can ensure a better future. Even when I was on tour, I did my homework and studied.” Martin Garrix

“No kid should be getting three or four hours of homework a night. There’s no breathing time, there’s no family time, there are just extracurriculars and homework and then go to bed.” Ross W. Greene

“I feel sorry for kids these days. They get so much homework. Remember the days when we put a belt around our two books and carried them home? Now they’re dragging a suitcase. They have school all day, then homework from six until eleven. There’s no time left to be creative .” Tom Petty

“I’ve always been surrounded by many great people and professors, but my family , especially my mom who was a teacher, was the person who encouraged me to study and pushed me to continue. When we’re young, we don’t understand why our parents bug us so much with school and doing homework, but it’s a blessing to have that support at home.” Bad Bunny

“After your first job, is anyone asking you what your GPA was? No, they don’t care. They ask you: Are you a good leader? Do people follow you? Do you have integrity ? Are you innovative ? Do you solve problems? Somebody’s got to do that homework and redesign the educational system so that it can actually train people to be successful in life.” Neil deGrasse Tyson

“You have got to pay attention, you have got to study and you have to do your homework. You have to score higher than everybody else. Otherwise, there is always somebody there waiting to take your place.” Daisy Fuentes

“Growing up, I ate, slept and breathed hockey. I got home from school, I shot pucks, played outdoor hockey, road hockey, go home for dinner… Remember this is pre-Internet, barely any video games, I had a Commodore Vic-20. If you weren’t doing your homework, you were outside playing hockey, most likely.” Chris Pronger

10 Funny, Yet Inspiring, Quotes About Homework (ASSIGNMENT)

26 Wise Quotes About Homework that Will Make You Think (WISDOM)

“When I was growing up, my parents told me, ‘Finish your dinner. People in China and India are starving.’ I tell my daughters, ‘Finish your homework. People in India and China are starving for your job.'” Thomas Friedman

“Homework should be a swear word. Every time teachers say it, they should have to put money in a jar and then, when there’s enough, they need to buy all the kids ice cream.” Rachel Inbar

“When my son Nandan was in middle school, I had a fun way of doing his math homework. I bought another set of mathematics books and both of us would sit side by side and start solving problems.” Suhasini Maniratnam

“You guys got big uglies, fuumm-bull, and ‘Whoa, Nellie.’ What I got was, ‘Lindsey, why are the trash cans still out front?’ ‘This homework needs more work,’ and the inevitable was, ‘How fast were you really going?'” Keith Jackson

“By providing every student with a quality education , and the materials they need for class and to do their homework, we can help students from all backgrounds learn and thrive.” London Breed

(MUST READ) Homework for Grown-ups: Everything You Learnt at School… and Promptly Forgot

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Readings With Hope

90 Funny Motivational Quotes For Students

Let’s be honest. 

As a student, you’ve probably experienced those moments when you’re buried under a mountain of textbooks, fueled by caffeine, and questioning your life choices (we’ve all been there). 

But fear not, fellow scholars! 

Humor is the secret weapon to surviving the academic trenches.

Put down that highlighter for a minute and take a break with these funny motivational quotes for students. 

They’re guaranteed to make you chuckle and remind you that even Einstein probably had days where he just wanted to eat pizza and binge-watch bad TV.

Funny Motivational Quotes For Students

• “Remember, the sooner you finish your homework, the sooner you can return to pretending you’re not stressed.”
• “Procrastination: because sometimes ‘later’ sounds better than ‘now.'”
• “Studying: because magic and good luck charms only get you so far.”
• “Don’t worry if plan A fails, there are 25 more letters in the alphabet.”
• “Success is 99% perspiration and 1% knowing when to take a break for snacks.”
• “If at first you don’t succeed, try doing it the way your teacher told you to the first time.”
• “You can do anything you set your mind to. But first, make sure to set your alarm clock.”
• “Why study for exams when you can make life decisions based on horoscope readings?”
• “Education is important, but big biceps are importanter.”

• “You don’t have to be great to start, but you have to start to be great. Or at least start somewhere between Netflix episodes.”
• “Just believe in yourself. Even if you don’t, pretend that you do, and at some point, you will.”
• “Education is like WiFi: it’s invisible, but it has the power to connect you to something amazing.”
• “The only time success comes before work is in the dictionary.”
• “If you sleep now, you’ll dream. If you study now, you’ll live your dream. Or at least avoid some nightmares.”
• “Remember, the difference between try and triumph is just a little umph!”
• “Why study for a test when you can pray for a miracle instead?”
• “School may be hard, but life without education is harder. Stay in school, kids.”
• “The best way to predict the future is to study hard now and create it yourself. Or, just befriend a psychic.”

• “Education is the passport to the future. Unfortunately, it comes with a lot of baggage.”
• “Dream big, study hard, and don’t forget to take your power naps!”
• “The secret to getting ahead is getting started. Preferably after you’ve had a good breakfast.”
• “Your GPA might not be forever, but the lessons you learn definitely are. Except for calculus—when do we ever use that?”
• “Don’t let your dreams be dreams; let them be your motivation to skip the snooze button.”
• “If you’re going through hell, keep going. Just make sure to take notes for the exam.”
• “Believe in yourself, and if that doesn’t work, believe in your ability to cram the night before.”
• “Study hard, but don’t forget to take a break. Your brain needs to binge-watch TV too.”
• “Education is the key to unlocking the world. Sadly, it often comes with student loans.”

• “The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces.”
• “Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. So, do what makes you happy, like napping after a study session.”
• “To be old and wise, you must first be young and overwhelmed with homework.”
• “Don’t let what you cannot do interfere with what you can do. Like scrolling through memes during study breaks.”
• “Sometimes you win, sometimes you learn. And sometimes you just need a good laugh to get through it all.”
• “Hard work never killed anyone, but why take the chance? Study smart, not hard.”
• “Motivation is what gets you started. Habit is what keeps you going. Coffee is what keeps you awake.”
• “You can’t have a million-dollar dream with a minimum-wage work ethic. So, hustle hard—right after this episode.”
• “If opportunity doesn’t knock, build a door. If the door is too hard to build, at least make a window.”

• “Don’t watch the clock; do what it does. Keep going. But also, remember to take breaks—clocks get wound up too.”
• “Good things come to those who wait, but better things come to those who study.”
• “Why fit in when you were born to stand out? Especially in a group project where everyone else is slacking.”
• “Keep your head high, your grades higher, and your stress levels manageable.”
• “Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth and study while you still have time.”
• “Your future self is watching you right now through time travel. Don’t disappoint them.”
• “Be like a postage stamp. Stick to your goals until you get there, but take breaks when you need to.”
• “The only limit to your impact is your imagination and how many assignments you can handle.”
• “School is a lot like toilet paper. You only miss it when it’s gone.”

• “Don’t quit. Suffer now and live the rest of your life as a champion—preferably one with a decent sleep schedule.”
• “You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, smarter than you think, and better at procrastinating than you’d like to admit.”
• “Challenges are what make life interesting. Overcoming them is what makes life meaningful. Avoiding them makes life less stressful.”
• “Be a pineapple: stand tall, wear a crown, and always have your study notes ready.”
• “When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. When life gives you exams, make cheat sheets. Just kidding—study hard!”
• “You don’t have to be perfect to be amazing. You just have to be better than your last test score.”
• “Every accomplishment starts with the decision to try. And sometimes that means trying not to fall asleep in class.”
• “Strive for progress, not perfection. Unless it’s a group project, then strive to not be the one who does all the work.”
• “The difference between ordinary and extraordinary is that little extra. And maybe a bit of caffeine.”
• “Don’t stress. Do your best. Forget the rest. And maybe take a nap.”
• “Success is a journey, not a destination. Enjoy the ride and the occasional study break.”
• “Mistakes are proof that you are trying. But so are the late-night study sessions and the early morning wake-ups.”
• “Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world. Just remember to recharge your brain now and then.”
• “You can’t start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading the last one. Or if you’re too busy refreshing social media.”
• “The expert in anything was once a beginner. So, start where you are, use what you have, and do what you can.”

More Funny Motivational Quotes For Students (These are Funnier)

• “Studying is like trying to eat a whole pizza in one bite: messy, overwhelming, and you’ll probably end up with sauce on your face. But hey, at least it’s delicious.”
• “Remember, getting a bad grade is not the end of the world. It’s just the universe’s way of saying, ‘Surprise! You get to learn this again!'”
• “Procrastination is like a magical unicorn. It seems awesome in theory, but in reality, it’s just a horse with a weird horn that poops everywhere.”
• “Finals week is like a horror movie marathon: sleepless nights, excessive caffeine consumption, and the occasional scream. Just remember, you’re the final girl (or guy), and you will survive.”
• “Group projects are like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re gonna get, and there’s a high chance you’ll end up with someone who eats all the good ones.”
• “Studying for a math test is like trying to understand the lyrics to a heavy metal song. It’s loud, confusing, and you’re pretty sure there’s some kind of hidden message in there.”
• “The library is like a jungle. Quiet zones are the watering holes, the stacks are the dense foliage, and the reference desk is where the wise old librarian gorilla dispenses wisdom.”
• “Taking notes in class is like trying to transcribe a conversation in a crowded coffee shop. You’ll miss some words, misinterpret others, and end up with a caffeinated doodle masterpiece.”
• “Your GPA is like a temperamental houseplant. It needs constant attention, the right amount of sunlight (studying), and occasional watering (extra credit). Neglect it, and it will wither and die.”

• “Graduation is like finally reaching the end of a really long, complicated video game. You’ll feel relieved, accomplished, and maybe a little sad that it’s over. But don’t worry, there’s always a sequel (the real world).”
• “Sleep is like a magical time machine that transports you to a world where you have no responsibilities, no deadlines, and no pants. Use it wisely.”
• “Caffeine is like a trusty sidekick who helps you battle through the day. Just don’t let it become your arch-nemesis by overdoing it and ending up with the jitters.”
• “Textbooks are like ancient scrolls filled with knowledge. Or maybe they’re just really heavy doorstops with a lot of words. Either way, you should probably read them.”
• “School is like a gym for your brain. You may not always enjoy the workout, but in the end, you’ll be stronger, smarter, and able to lift heavier textbooks.”
• “The teacher is like a tour guide through the vast landscape of knowledge. Sometimes they’ll take you to beautiful vistas, and other times you’ll end up lost in the swamp of calculus.”
• “Homework is like a scavenger hunt. You have to gather clues (information), follow the map (instructions), and avoid the traps (distractions) to find the treasure (good grades).”
• “The school cafeteria is like a culinary adventure. You’ll encounter exotic dishes (mystery meatloaf), questionable combinations (pizza with corn), and the occasional hidden gem (freshly baked cookies).”
• “The school bus is like a mobile social experiment. You’ll witness budding romances, epic arguments, and the occasional impromptu karaoke session.”

• “The lockers are like miniature time capsules. They hold the secrets of past students, forgotten snacks, and the occasional gym sock that mysteriously disappears.”
• “The school year is like a roller coaster. It’s full of ups and downs, twists and turns, and the occasional moment where you feel like you’re going to lose your lunch.”
• “Pop quizzes are like ninjas. They strike without warning, test your reflexes, and leave you questioning your life choices.”
• “The school dance is like a real-life episode of a teen drama. There’s awkwardness, romance, and a DJ who only plays the top 40 hits from three years ago.”
• “The principal’s office is like a black hole. Once you enter, it’s hard to escape, and time seems to slow down.”
• “The school newspaper is like a crystal ball that reveals the future. It tells you who’s dating who, who’s running for student council, and what the cafeteria is serving for lunch next week.”
• “The school play is like a magical portal to another world. You’ll witness drama, comedy, and the occasional wardrobe malfunction.”
• “Field trips are like mini-vacations. You get to leave school, explore new places, and eat your lunch on a bus.”
• “Pep rallies are like a caffeine-fueled circus. There’s school spirit, loud music, and a mascot who may or may not be sweating profusely inside a furry costume.”
• “Exams are like boss battles in a video game. You have to study hard, strategize, and use all your skills to defeat the enemy (and get a good grade).”
• “Report cards are like progress reports in a video game. They tell you how you’re doing, what you need to improve on, and whether or not you’ve leveled up.”
• “School is like a box of crayons. It’s full of different colors, each representing a unique subject, and together they create a beautiful picture (your education).”

Founder @ ReadingsWithHope.com

I make sure that your cards don't go empty handed.

Funny Homework Quotes to Tickle Your Funny Bone

We know how kids, in general, feel about homework. While there has been a lot of debate about whether homework is necessary for kids, especially for elementary students, the fact remains that many teachers prefer giving homework. Students are expected to complete and submit their work for assessment. 

Often kids consider homework as a burden that robs them of their free time. Consequently, they tend to lose interest in it. As quotes have the power to alleviate mood and change perspective, we can use them to handle thoughts about homework too! We have already covered funny quotes on topics such as geometry , math , and grammar . This time around, we are happy to share fun quotes on homework. 

Although inspiring quotes can encourage positive thoughts, funny quotes make the topic light. By bringing a smile to students’ faces, funny quotes can lighten up their moods and help create a positive mindset toward homework.

Let’s share some smiles with funny homework quotes

1. “homework: because 7 hours at school isn’t enough.” – unknown, 2. “i like a teacher who gives you something to take home to think about besides homework.” – lily tomlin, 3. “homework- the teachers’ way to find out how smart parents are” – unknown, 4. “homework is not an option. my bed is sending out serious nap rays. i can’t help myself. the fluffy pillows and warm comforter are more powerful than i am. i have no choice but to snuggle under the covers.” – laurie halse anderson, 5. “time flies so fast when i’m avoiding homework…” – unknown, 6. “you could give me 43 years to do homework, and i still wouldn’t do it until the night before.” – unknown, 7. “my life is a black hole of boredom and despair.” “so basically, you have been doing homework.” “like i said, black hole.” – kiersten white, 8. “i miss the days when homework was just… coloring.” – unknown, 9. “what i like about baseball- there is no homework” – dan quisenberry, 10. “i can’t keep calm. there’s too much homework.” – unknown, 11. “moment of disappointment- when you can’t find the answers to your homework on google.” – unknown, 12. “the reason you want your kids to pay attention in school is you haven’t the faintest idea how to do their homework.” – babs bell hajdusiewicz, 13. “my dog’s favorite snack is my homework.” – unknown, 14. “i am learning skills i will use for the rest of my life by doing homework – procrastinating and negotiation.” – bill watterson, 15. “before i forget, here’s your homework. where do you want me to put it” she pointed at the trash can. “right there would be fine.” – becca fitzpatrick, 16. “homework should be a swear word. every time the teacher says it, they should have to put money in a jar, and then, when there is enough, they need to buy all the kids ice cream.”  – rachel inbar, 17. “the awkward moment when wikipedia has copied your homework.” – unknown, 18. “homework, i have discovered, involves a sharp pencil and thick books and long sighs.” – katherine applegate, 19. “instead of doing my homework; i like to stay on the computer and worry about how much homework i have to do.” – unknown, 20. “things i have learned in school: if the homework is study or read… you don’t have any homework.” – unknown, 21. “getting so bored that you are actually doing your homework earlier…” – unknown, 22. “the teacher can always tell when you did your homework on the bus.” – cynthia lewis, 23. “if you attend miskatonic university, your homework might eat your dog.” – james pratt, 24. “inspiration comes in the middle of the night when you should be doing homework.” – amy lee, 25.”homework means half of my energy is wasted on random knowledge.” – unknown, 26. “it’s piles and piles of emotional homework forever if you ever want to qualify as a grown-up.” – mary h.k. choi, 27. “i didn’t do it because i spent all night long doing the previous night’s homework.” – unknown, 28. “that moment when your teacher forgets you have homework, but then that one kid says, we have homework.” – unknown, 29.”dear homework, they may be doing you, but all they can think about is me. sincerely, summer.” – unknown, 30.”i save all of my homework until the last minute because then i will be older, therefore wiser.” – u nknown, 31. “even when i have absolutely nothing to do, homework is not an option.” – unknown, but why is homework important for students.

We may have shared witty and funny quotes about homework, but that does not mean we consider homework unimportant. There are quite a few good reasons why homework has been an integral part of a student’s life for years. Do you want to know how doing regular homework can benefit you in the long run? Let’s see. 

1. It instills discipline and encourages students to plan their day, do their assignments, and stay organized.

2. Homework improves time management skills. As homework comes with a deadline and every day has a different workload, students have to level up their time management game to stay on track and keep their deliverables ready on time. 

3. Repeating concepts several times helps in increasing a student’s understanding of the subject. This makes the topic easier to comprehend, which stays in memory for a long duration.

4. Doing assignments in class is quite different from doing them at home. At school, guidance is readily available. But homework encourages students to problem-solve and work independently. 

5. Homework prepares students to do things even if they don’t want to. Adulthood brings several instances when you have to do certain things without having the willingness to do them. Students get to learn this life lesson through homework.

6. Homework teaches students to become responsible for their learning. Failing to take responsibility well often results in poor grades in class assessments.  

7. It provides an opportunity for parents to be actively involved in their child’s education and know what they are learning in class and where they stand in terms of understanding the subject matter. 

8. Homework also allows teachers to assess how well students have understood a topic and gives them an idea about which areas must be discussed further in class to develop clarity in the minds of the students. 

Wrapping up,

Homework may not bring a smile to a student’s face. But that doesn’t make it less important. We all know “Laughter is the best medicine” in stressful times. So, the next time you’re stressed out by your homework, take a break and go through these funny quotes. It will definitely lighten up your mood and release happy hormones in your body so you can go back and finish your homework with cheerfulness and positivity.

I am Priyanka Sonkushre, a writer and blogger. I am the person behind “ One Loving Mama ,” a mom blog. Equipped with a Bachelor’s degree along with an MBA, my healthcare background helps me deeply understand learning difficulties. I know how challenging it can be for parents to find the right resources to help their children excel in life. So, here I am to blend my healthcare expertise with my parenting experience to create valuable and helpful resources for parents and teachers supporting children with learning differences. If you wish, you can follow me on  Facebook  and  LinkedIn .

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Quotes about homework

Homework is like a treasure hunt, the more you search, the more you learn.

Homework is not a burden, but a bridge to success.

Homework is the practice that perfects your skills.

Homework is the fuel that ignites the fire of knowledge.

Homework is the key that unlocks the door to achievement.

Homework is not the enemy, but the ally of progress.

Homework teaches us discipline and perseverance.

Homework is the bridge that connects what we learn in school to the real world.

Homework is an opportunity for growth and self-improvement.

Homework is the building block of knowledge.

Homework is the foundation upon which our education stands.

Homework is like a puzzle, every piece counts towards the bigger picture.

Homework is the bridge between what we know and what we can achieve.

Homework is the compass that guides us on our educational journey.

Homework is the practice that turns theory into reality.

Homework is the secret ingredient to academic success.

Homework is the tool that sharpens our intellect.

Homework is our ticket to a brighter future.

Homework is the investment that pays off in the long run.

Homework is the proof that we are willing to go the extra mile for our dreams.

Homework is the canvas on which we paint our academic achievements.

Homework is the chord that connects what we learn today to what we will accomplish tomorrow.

Quotes about homework part 2

Homework is the staircase to intellectual growth.

Homework is the path that leads to academic excellence.

Homework is the light that guides us through the dark corners of understanding.

Homework is the teacher’s way of saying, ‘I believe in your potential.’

Homework is the opportunity to build a strong foundation for future success.

Homework is the trailblazer that paves the way for new discoveries.

Homework is the passport to knowledge.

Homework is the practice that turns novices into experts.

Homework is the compass that steers us towards educational excellence.

Homework is the music that plays in the symphony of education.

Homework is the puzzle piece that completes the academic picture.

Homework is the investment of time that yields the greatest returns.

Homework is the marathon that prepares us for the sprint of exams.

Homework is the recipe that blends knowledge, understanding, and application.

Homework is the window into our individual learning styles.

Homework is the mirror that reflects our growth as students.

Homework is the workout that flexes our mental muscles.

Homework is the rehearsal that prepares us for the grand performance of life.

Homework is the beehive of learning, where buzzing minds gather to produce sweet rewards.

Homework is the treasure map that leads to academic riches.

Homework is the potion that turns confusion into clarity.

Homework is the boat that sails us across the ocean of knowledge.

Homework is the blueprint that guides us in the construction of our education.

Homework is the secret ingredient that spices up our academic journey.

Homework is the drumbeat that fuels our intellectual progress.

Homework is the telescope that allows us to see beyond the classroom walls.

Homework is the compass that points towards educational enlightenment.

Homework is the stepping stone to greatness.

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Funny Homework

Homework Is Fun

20 Funny Homework Quotes That Will Make You Laugh Hard

Homework might not sound like the most fun thing to do, but you would still have to complete it right to begin with. There are many funny quotes on homework that have been said over the years. These include many quotes all about the ways how homework operates. These funny homework quotes are among the truest things that people have said about this bothersome task. You could easily relate to many of these sayings about homework.

Getting Out of Homework Some funny quotes about doing homework entail the things that people will do to get away from homework. These include many funny quotes about homework in college that are especially relevant to today’s students:

• Time flies when you’re trying to avoid homework.
• Random stuff on the internet becomes more interesting once you’ve got homework to do.
• Sometimes homework just needs to grow up and solve itself.
• A crossword puzzle looks like homework, but it is much more fun to do than homework.

Why Do Your Homework? A few more funny quotes on homework are all about the issues that people with biology homework . These include many funny quotes about homework relating to very specific subjects that you might have a tough time with handling on your own:

• There’s no need to learn about history when all that stuff happened in the past. Lots of people in history are dead anyway.
• Geography isn’t necessary to study when you’ve got a globe.
• Why would you want to study English when you already speak that language? Also, much of English has been abbreviated into random acronyms.
• There’s no need to learn math when you’ve got a calculator.
• Science isn’t necessary because you’re not going to carry a Bunsen burner with you everywhere you go.
• Gym class isn’t needed because you can just play with your Nintendo Wii when you get home.

General Complaints About Homework Homework is frustrating to the point where no one really wants to complete it. Some funny homework quotes relate to the many issues that people have surrounding homework and how well it can be handled:

• Apparently six or seven hours of school a day is not enough. You’ve got to have even more to go with that time.
• Students might be doing their homework, but they are thinking about the summer and all the things they’ll be doing then instead.
• Homework is always the one thing that people do at the very last minute. But at the same time, it might be from the general fact that when you’re older, you are wiser.
• The best homework assignments were the ones where kids would just color things. It’s too bad that these assignments are prominent in college.
• A teacher who uses your first name in a homework example or question isn’t necessary using it as an example for a work problem. It’s a heavily coded message that only you can decipher if that’s your name. It’s probably not a positive message either.

How Homework Comes From Others Sometimes the other people you are surrounded by might influence the funny homework quotes you come across. Here are some of the best quotes surrounding the many people who are involved with making homework what it is:

• That one kid who reminds the teacher about a homework assignment is always the least popular one.
• Kids don’t actually hate school. Rather, they hate the homework they get, the teachers who give the homework to them, and having to wake up really early in the morning to show up.
• The people who give you homework don’t really give you much to think about.
• Teachers want students to show they work when they’re answering questions. That’s a pretty funny idea.
• The ways how teachers write their homework problems make it easy for some tasks to be handled right.

These funny quotes on homework are all interesting points that are certainly true and relevant to this day. You will be impressed with how well different funny homework sayings might relate to what you’re doing. These sayings can be useful philosophies for you to follow when you’re looking at how homework can be handled and what you are do when valiantly attempting to try and get your homework completed the right way.

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Below you will find our collection of inspirational, wise, and humorous old homework quotes, homework sayings, and homework proverbs, collected over the years from a variety of sources.

I've got a lot of homework to do, and none of it has anything to do with school. Travis Thrasher

Homework is not an option. My bed is sending out serious nap rays. I can't help myself. The fluffy pillows and warm comforter are more powerful than I am. I have no choice but to snuggle under the covers. Laurie Halse Anderson

He's given me enough homework to last ten years. I'm gonna die of nerdism. Mark A. Cooper

The worst thing a kid can say about homework is that it is too hard. The worst thing a kid can say about a game is it's too easy. Henry Jenkins

You don't get rich off your day job, you get rich off your homework. Daymond John

Everybody talks about finding your voice. Do your homework and your voice will find you. Branford Marsalis

If you want to be lucky, do your homework. Jim Rogers

The teacher can always tell when you did your homework on the bus. Cynthia Lewis

Do your homework. I'm tired of carrying you. Cheryl Miller

Teens think listening to music helps them concentrate. It doesn't. It relieves them of the boredom that concentration on homework induces. Marilyn vos Savant

With homework, school prepares students for overtime. With reports, it prepares them for payday. Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Do your homework and stand your ground. Peter Bart

If you do your homework and do your due diligence, you shouldn't get stuck with one of them. Dawson Grimsley

There's only one interview technique that matters. Do your homework so you can listen to the answers and react to them and ask follow-ups. Do your homework, prepare. Jim Lehrer

Nothing is free. You got to pay to be in society. First you start with homework. Mel Brooks

Homework is a term that means grown up imposed yet self-afflicting torture. James Patterson

The more you do your homework, the more you're free to be intuitive. But you've got to put the work in. Edward Norton

One of life's most painful moments comes when we must admit that we didn't do our homework, that we are not prepared. Merlin Olsen

If you're working 12-hour days, then you come home to do three hours' homework, it's quite a lot on your plate. Anna Popplewell

Writing for me can be homework. I do get a lot from it in the end. But I hate doing it. Natalie Maines

Do your homework and know your business better than anyone. Otherwise, someone who knows more and works harder will kick your ass. Mark Cuban

Homework is a best work,but if human hate it its a worst work. Vidhya Vijay

Do your homework, study the craft, believe in yourself, and out-work everyone. Justin Hires

The toughest thing about homework is getting mom and pop to agree on the same answer. Joey Lauren Adams

Home computers are being called upon to perform many new functions, including the consumption of homework formerly eaten by the dog. Doug Larson

The difference between a calculated risk and rolling the dice can be expressed in one word: homework. Georgette Mosbacher

Lack of homework shows up in the marketplace as well as in the classroom. Jim Rohn

I like a teacher who gives you something to take home to think about besides homework. Lily Tomlin

You see it in education a lot. If you do your homework, you get to pick out something from the class treasure chest. Dace Svikis

Inspiration comes in the middle of the night when you should be doing homework. Amy Lee

Do your homework and keep good files. Know the background and biases of your sources. Jane Brody

My life is a black hole of boredom and despair. So basically you've been doing homework. Like I said, black hole. Kiersten White

The same people who never did their homework in high school are still doing that to this very day out in the real world. Jules Shear

My parents always taught me that my day job would never make me rich; it'd be my homework. Daymond John

The team that is going to win is the one that does its homework the best by studying its opponents. Imran Khan

When I was growing up, my parents told me. Finish your dinner. People in China and India are starving. I tell my daughters. Finish your homework. People in India and China are starving for your job. Thomas Friedman

Homework, I have discovered, involves a sharp pencil and thick books and long sighs. Katherine Applegate

Do your homework and know your facts, but remember it's passion that persuades. H Jackson Brown Jr.

Do your homework or hire wise experts to help you. Never jump into a business you have no idea about. John Templeton

We define meaningful homework as tasks that enrich the in-school curriculum by challenging students to think deeply about important questions, apply their knowledge and skills toward solving genuine problems, and creating authentic products that will be used in meaningful ways. Janet Alleman

Meaningful homework is oriented toward authentic forms of student achievement. Janet Alleman

Meaningful homework should match the goals of the lessons and units and should expand, enrich, or apply what is learned in school. Janet Alleman

Many claim that homework is necessary for improving student achievement--an assertion that is only partially a supported by research. Janet Alleman

Homework is tough on parents, then, and it's also tough on children. Alfie Kohn

Homework is a long-standing education that, until recently, has seldom been questioned. Cathy Vatterott

Homework has generally been viewed as a positive practice and accepted without question as part of the student routine. Cathy Vatterott

As the culture changed, and as the schools and families have changed, homework has become problematic for more and more students, parent, and teachers. Cathy Vatterott

Homework was viewed as a culprit that robbed children of important opportunities for social interaction. Cathy Vatterott

The controversy over homework starts with a large number of academic studies that have sought to establish or refute the notion that homework improves academic performance. John Buell

Students who do homework receive better grades or higher test scores, but they do not establish that homework causes improved performance. John Buell

There is no evidence that any amount of homework improves the academic performance of elementary school students. John Buell

When you also learn the truth about homework, chances are that you'll want to do something to lighten that heavy backpack your child drags home each night. Sara Bennett

It seems like the more homework a nation's teachers assign, the worse that nation's students do on achievement tests. Professor Baker

Many educators tout homework as a great way to teach children responsibility. Sara Bennett

With parents increasingly involved in assignments every step of the way we think homework undermines the teaching of responsibility. Sara Bennett

There's no evidence that homework is good for reinforcement, if parents are going to give up their home life for homework, there should be evidence that it will produce something. Professor Kralovec

The most common reason teachers give for assigning homework is that parents want it. I know parents who judge the quality of the school by how much homework the teachers give, often creating a climate that forces teachers to create assignments against their better judgement. Vera Goodman

No matter how parents justify it or demand it, excessive homework is an intrusion into the private lives of children. Vera Goodman

Young children often like to get some homework because it makes them feel grown up. Vera Goodman

Homework that is light, and designed so that families can enjoy spending time working together, is valuable. Vera Goodman

Teachers argue that they need to give homework to cover the mandated curriculum. Vera Goodman

If you're going to choose someone's homework to copy, you need to choose someone who's good in math. Blanche Hanalis

it's wonderful what they can do with computers these days and I'm pretty sure you have homework to do. Holden Weihs

I wish I had a robot to help me with my homework when I was little. Colin Bostock-Smith

Over the next few decades, schools institutionalized homework as a primary means for determining a student's academic proficiency on almost a daily basis. David C. Berliner

Today school systems overwhelmingly use homework as a pedagogical staple and a measurement for assessing students' academic growth in the short term. David C. Berliner

Parents enforce homework because they believe children who study hard make the grade. David C. Berliner

Most parents eagerly include 'homework time' as part of the daily household routine and act as tutor. David C. Berliner

Thorough homework—good fact-finding coupled with good analysis—is essential if good remedies are to follow and if an effective case is to be made for a particular cause. Frank Sennett

There are always more events to be organized, students to be congratulated, cheers to say, homework to design, and challenges to meet. Pondie Nicholson

Homework is a breeze. Cooking is a pleasant diversion. Putting up a retaining wall is a lark. But teaching is like climbing a mountain. Fawn M. Brodie

My daddy used to ask us whether the teacher had given us any homework. If we said no, he'd say, well, assign yourself. Marian Wright Edelman

Our furnace broke, and we had to burn my homework to keep ourselves from freezing. Jim Kraus

I didn't do my history because I don't believe in dwelling on the past. Jim Kraus

When a teenager is watching television, listening to her record player, and talking on the phone, she is probably doing her homework. Evan Esar

A lazy schoolboy lets his father do his homework, but a bright one helps his father with it. Evan Esar

Homework sometimes shows how much children don't know, but more often how much their parents don't know. Evan Esar

When it comes to homework, most schoolchildren like to do nothing better. Evan Esar

Half the parents who do their children's homework for them shouldn't; the other half can't. Evan Esar

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100+ Must-Read Funny School Quotes You'll Never Forget

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A unique combination of intellectual difficulties, social adventures, and occasionally belly laughs can be found in school life. Funny school quotes perfectly express the spirit of those priceless moments, including the friendship between students and teachers and the struggles of homework. You’ll be laughing at the universality of the school experience and remembering your own school days after reading this collection of quotes about education . 

So explore this wealth of witty school quotes and quotes about students, whether you’re a teacher trying to lighten the mood in your classroom, a parent, or a current student. Allow these wise sayings to add a little comedy to your day and serve as a reminder that despite life’s obstacles, you can always find time for a good laugh.

Funny School Quotes About Friend

Get ready to dive into a world of laughter and mischief with these hilarious quotes about friends in school. School is not just about studying and exams, it’s about the unforgettable moments we share with our friends that make the whole experience worthwhile. These quotes perfectly capture the essence of friendship in the schoolyard, from inside jokes to playful pranks.

• “Our friendship survived countless group projects where we procrastinated until the last minute. Who needs stress when you have a friend to laugh with?”
• “My friend and I had a unique talent: making even the dullest subjects entertaining with our witty commentary. Sorry, teachers, we couldn’t help it!”
• “We may not have been the top students, but we definitely aced the art of passing notes discreetly. Thank you, friend, for keeping me entertained in class!”
• “Our friendship was like a well-oiled machine in school: I provided the excuses, and my friend provided the alibis. Together, we were unstoppable!”
• “We may not have been the teachers’ pets in school, but we were definitely the class clowns. Thank you, friend, for keeping me laughing even on the toughest days!”
• “Our friendship in school was like a well-scripted comedy, with each day bringing a new punchline and a fresh set of laughs. Thank you for making school unforgettable, my friend!”
• “My friend and I had a secret handshake in school: one part high-five, one part fist bump, and a sprinkle of awkwardness. Classic!”
• “Our school’s unofficial motto: ‘Friends who goof off together, graduate together!’ Thanks for making the journey hilarious, buddy.”
• “If laughter were currency, my friend and I would’ve been the richest students in school. Sorry, principal, we traded jokes instead of homework!”
• “Our friendship in school was like a sitcom: full of laugh tracks, quirky characters, and unforgettable moments. Thanks for being my co-star, buddy!”
• “We had a talent show in school once. My friend’s talent? Making me laugh until my stomach hurts. Nailed it!”
• “School life was like a sitcom, and my friend was the comedic relief. Thanks for making even the toughest days hilarious, buddy!”
• “We had a rule in school: no laughing during tests. My friend and I broke that rule every time. Sorry, teachers, we just couldn’t help it!”
• “Our school motto may have been ‘Knowledge is power,’ but my friend and I lived by a different motto: ‘Laughter is the best medicine.’ Thanks for the daily doses, buddy!”
• “In school, my friend and I were the dynamic duo: one part mischief, one part mayhem, and a whole lot of laughter. Sorry, teachers, we had too much fun!”
• “School life was like a comedy sketch, and my friend was the punchline to all my jokes. Thanks for being such a good sport, buddy!”
• “We may not have been the smartest students in school, but we definitely aced the art of making each other laugh. Thanks for the constant giggles, buddy!”
• “We had a tradition in school: every Friday, my friend and I would sneak into the janitor’s closet and tell each other jokes until we got caught. Sorry, janitor, for all the giggles!”

To keep things concise and impactful, funny senior quotes can highlight the humorous side of high school friendships. These quotes are perfect for capturing the essence of those final school years spent with friends, adding a touch of humor to your reflection.

Back to School Quotes Funny

The start of the school year can bring up a range of emotions. Whether you’re fearing the change or looking forward to it, a little humor helps ease the transition. A well-placed humorous back to school quote can make everyone laugh and let them know that despite impending deadlines and early mornings, there’s always time for a good laugh.

• “The only place where it’s acceptable to sleep with a book under your pillow, hoping the knowledge seeps in by osmosis.” 
• “Back to school: because life wasn’t chaotic enough with just summer vacations.” 
• “New school year, new me. Just kidding, I’ll be the same delightful troublemaker as always.”
• “The only thing that goes back to school more reluctantly than a student is their summer-vacation-mode parent.” 
• “September is the Monday of the month. Back to school just confirms it.” 
• “Remember, you can’t spell ‘school’ without ‘cool.’ No, really, try it.” 
• “First day of school: when you realize your vacation homework fairy isn’t real.” 
• “Back to school: where ‘I forgot’ becomes the most overused phrase in the English language.” 
• “School is a lot like a lollipop. It looks sweet from the outside, but deal with it long enough, and you’re left with a stick.” 
• “Buying school supplies = acknowledging summer’s defeat to education.” 

Funny teacher quotes highlight the amusing interactions with teachers, making the back-to-school experience more engaging. These quotes provide a humorous look at the return to school, enhancing the excitement and anticipation of starting a new academic year.

Funny Quotes about First Day of School

The first day of school is a brand-new beginning that is accompanied with excitement and a fair amount of anxiety. Use a funny quotation about those all-too-familiar first-day sensations to lighten the mood. Those first few minutes can be made a little more palatable with a little lighthearted humor, from embarrassing dress choices to the hunt for your classroom.

• “The first day of school: when your backpack is full of supplies and your brain is still on vacation mode.”
• “School’s first day motto: Act like you’ve read all the summer assignments… even if you haven’t.”
• “First day of school outfit: chosen for style, regretted for comfort by second period.” 
• “Homework on the first day? I thought this was just the trailer, not the full movie!” 
• “Surviving the first day of school should come with its own diploma.” 
• “Back to school: when ‘new pencils’ excitement meets ‘new schedule’ confusion.” 
• “Starting school is like jumping into a pool. First, you’re all cool, then you realize it’s deeper than you thought.”
• “Why does the first day of school feel like a pop quiz for which summer didn’t prepare us?” 
• “They say the early bird catches the worm, but on the first day of school, it just catches a good seat.” 
• “First day of school: when your alarm clock becomes the enemy.”

Funny graduation quotes can be tailored to reflect the humor of beginning a new academic journey. These quotes bring a playful touch to the first day of school, making the start of the year more fun and less intimidating.

Funny End of School Year Quotes for Students

Students start to experience the delicious taste of freedom as the school year comes to an end. Enjoy these last few days of the school year with an amusing selection of end-of-year quotations . These statements capture the bittersweet sensation of the end of the year, from the struggle to stay focused to the pure joy of hearing the final bell.

• “Finally, the only ‘projects’ I need are in my Netflix queue.”
• “Saying goodbye to school for the summer is my kind of ‘Happy Ending’.” 
• “Books closed, beach open. That’s my kind of switch.” 
• “Homework is a distant memory, much like what I learned this year.” 
• “Survived another school year. Should I add that to my resume?”
• “The only math I plan to do this summer is calculating the hours of sleep I’m going to catch up on.” 
• “School’s out! Time to switch from ‘real world’ problems to ‘vacation mode’ solutions.” 
• “The final bell rings, and suddenly, my memory of algebra magically disappears.” 
• “Summer is here, and my only plan is to ignore my alarm clock.” 
• “Adios, textbooks! Hello, beach books!”

Funny Quotes about School Life and School Work

A unique combination of intellectual challenges, social adventures, and occasionally silliness characterizes school life. Funny sayings about education and schooling capture the universal humor of mysterious cafeteria experiences, difficult homework assignments, and the occasional too enthusiastic teacher.

• “Math class: where I go to take a nap and wake up more confused.”
• “School: where you learn the art of looking busy.” 
• “History class: where you learn about wars and whisper your own.”
• “The only place where you’re rewarded for having the answer book is in school.” 
• “School dances: where everyone’s awkward moves come to light.” 
• “A two-day weekend is just a cruel teaser for summer vacation.”
• “The only thing I’ve ever successfully learned in math is that I’m bad at math.”
•  “Report cards: the paper that can cause instant amnesia about all the fun you had during the semester.” 
• “The most effective alarm clock is a morning exam.” 
• “Art class: where ‘abstract’ is just another word for ‘I tried’.” 
• “School uniforms: because nothing screams creativity like dressing identically.”

Funny High School Quotes

Like a mental roller coaster, high school is full of unpleasant situations and precious experiences. Enjoy the sense of humor that accompanied those turbulent years by reading these amusing high school quotations . These jabs draw attention to how ridiculous it is to deal with social dynamics and get through early morning classes, among other things.

• “The most important lesson in high school? Mastering the fine line between ‘studying’ and just staring at the book.” 
• “High school: Where your social status was determined by the table you sat at during lunch.” 
• “Why worry about a zombie apocalypse when you’ve survived high school hallways between classes?”
• “PE in high school was just a fancy way of playing ‘Dodge the Ball and the Responsibility.'” 
• “The most effective alarm clock in high school was the imminent threat of a pop quiz.” 
• “Remember in high school, when we used to think that having a pen pal was outdated? Now we just call it ‘texting.'” 
• “In high school, ‘studying’ often meant ‘intensively re-reading the text message you’re about to send to your crush.'” 
•  “In high school, the phrase ‘group study’ was just a synonym for ‘collective procrastination.'” 
• “High school taught me valuable life skills, like how to write an essay at 2 AM and still make it sound coherent.” 
• “Remember thinking you’d never need math in real life? High school math class: preparing you for the day you unexpectedly buy 47 melons.” 

High school is full of memorable moments, and funny high school quotes capture the essence of these experiences. Pairing these with graduation quotes for son or graduation quotes for daughter can create a humorous yet sentimental message as students prepare to graduate.

Funny High School Yearbook Quotes

A special chance to sum up your high school experience in a few words is presented by yearbook quotes. Why not try to say goodbye in a way that makes your classmates happy? Funny high school yearbook quotes ensure that your legacy is one that is remembered by bringing humor and individuality to those cherished pages.

• “I finally learned something that wasn’t on the exam: how to sneak a pizza into the library.” 
• “High school taught me the importance of naps, coffee, and more naps.” 
• “Just like my homework, I’m straight outta here!” 
• “Yes, I used Wikipedia for every project. No, I don’t regret it.” 
• “I started with nothing, and I still have most of it left.”
• “High school: because we all need a place to charge our phones.”
• “I peaked when I learned how to break into my own locker.” 
• “High school: 4 years of pretending to be busy.” 
• “I’m not always sarcastic. Sometimes I’m sleeping.” 
• “High school: where ‘Maybe’ on an invite means ‘No.'”

Quotes for yearbook  can be made even more memorable with the addition of funny high school yearbook quotes. This combination ensures that the final record of high school life is filled with laughter and joy, creating lasting memories.

Teacher retirement quotes with humor can highlight the end of a chapter for both students and educators, adding a shared sense of completion. These quotes provide a humorous perspective on the end of the school year, celebrating the achievements and the closing of an academic period.

Funny Quotes for Middle Schoolers

A healthy dose of discomfort is mixed up with all the transformation and self-discovery that comes with middle school. Funny quotes for middle school students capture the spirit of comedy inherent in this particular phase of life. They make fun of everything, including erratic friendships and the never-ending quest to fit in.

• “Why do we have to grow up? Right when we master being a kid, they throw algebra at us!” 
• “Middle school: The only place where ‘homework’ sounds scarier than ‘Monday’.” 
• “Remember, in middle school, having sharp pencils was like having a superpower.” 
• “Middle school logic: Where ‘I read the summary’ sometimes counts as ‘I read the book’.” 
• “Middle school: Where your social status was determined by how high you could fling a rubber band.” 
• “Why do they call it ‘social studies’? I didn’t socialize or study.” 
• “In middle school, ‘I’ll do it later’ is the academic equivalent of ‘I’ll start my diet tomorrow’.” 
• “Gym class: The original ‘Survivor’ series.” 
• “Why does math have to have letters now? I thought English class was for that!”
• “Middle school is that awkward stage between thinking a Happy Meal is cool and thinking that taxes are complicated.”

Funny High School Graduation Quotes for Instagram Caption

You have the opportunity to add some personality and a succinct summary of your academic career in your graduation caption. Use amusing high school graduation sayings that are ideal for Instagram to make it memorable. These funny school graduation quotes provide a lighthearted and realistic look at the successes, difficulties, and downright strange aspects of adjusting to life in school.

• “Somehow managed to pass without turning into a morning person.” 
• “Is there an app to figure out life after graduation? Asking for a friend.”
• “School’s out, responsibilities begin. But first, let’s take a selfie!” 
• “Graduation: The end of a 10-page paper is a lot of work.” 
• “They say the tassel’s worth the hassle. Let’s hope they’re right!”
• “Now accepting job offers that require no experience but pay like I have 10 years.” 
• “Just graduated, and I already miss the thrill of homework due at midnight.” 
• “High school is over, but I’ll always be a legend in the cafeteria.” 
• “Turns out I was allergic to high school. Got my diploma and cleared right up.” 
• “My high school sweetheart was the snooze button.” 

Funny Motivational Quotes for Students

Even the most committed students occasionally want a boost in inspiration. Laugh-filled  motivational quotes for students provide a playful take on the typical motivating content. These funny motivational school quotes remind students that laughter may be the greatest study break, even though they also acknowledge the difficulties of studying.

• “Homework: because the universe figured students needed an extra challenge beyond just surviving adolescence.” 
• “Why worry about tomorrow’s exam when you can panic about it today?”
• “Remember, even Einstein had his ‘oops’ moments. Yours just happen to be on tests.” 
• “Studying: that moment your brain decides that you absolutely need to know the lifespan of a sea cucumber.” 
• “Success is 10% inspiration, 90% last-minute cramming.” 
• “The road to enlightenment is paved with flashcards and highlighters.”
• “A day without learning is like… just kidding, no one’s actually tried that.” 
• “The secret to acing your exams is maintaining the perfect balance between studying and still pretending to have a life.” 
• “Exams are nature’s way of asking, ‘Do you really know this, or were you just pretending?'” 
• “Be like a proton, always positive, even when you’re surrounded by negativity.” 
• “Remember, group projects: proving that ‘we’re in this together’ is just a nicer way of saying ‘you’re on your own.'” 

Inspirational quotes for teachers can be adapted with humor to motivate students in a lighthearted way. These quotes provide encouragement while adding a playful element, making the motivation more relatable and enjoyable for students.

Funny Quotes about Teachers and Teaching

In addition to being crucial in influencing our lives, teachers, let’s face it, occasionally make us laugh. Funny quotes about teachers and education honor the eccentric characters, unexpected catchphrases, and understandable frustrations that characterize the teaching profession.

• “Teaching: the only job where you simultaneously countdown until Friday and the next summer break.” 
• “Remember, if at first you don’t succeed in teaching, lower your standards for grading.”
• “I teach; therefore, I drink.” 
• “Teaching is the art of convincing students that learning is their idea.” 
• “Homework is a teacher’s way of saying, ‘We didn’t finish this in class, so enjoy your evening!'” 
• “A teacher’s favorite type of student: absent.”
• “In teaching, you encounter three types of students: fast learners, slow learners, and no learners.”
• “The only thing a teacher hates more than grading is a student who asks, ‘Are we doing anything important today?'” 
• “Teaching: where multitasking is taken to a whole new level of insanity.”
• “Teachers: keeping coffee companies in business since forever.”

Teacher appreciation quotes with humor show gratitude while celebrating the lighter side of teaching, making the appreciation more enjoyable. These quotes highlight the funny moments and experiences in the classroom, reflecting the unique and humorous aspects of the teaching profession.

We hope that this list of funny school quotes has made you smile and recalled the pleasant aspects of learning. These sayings perfectly express the spirit of those priceless school days, from the mischief in the classroom to the friendship between the teachers and students. 

So, have a giggle and remember your own school days, whether you’re a parent, teacher, or student. After all, a little humor goes a long way toward relieving stress and improving the learning experience.

We hope you’ve laughed a little and smiled after reading this collection of funny school quotes. These quotations serve as a helpful reminder that laughing is a global language, whether you’re using it to bring back memories of your own school days or to lighten the mood in the classroom.

Do you want to transform those school memories into something really unique?  Sandjest understands that a simple object can carry profound meaning. If these quotes sparked a heartwarming memory or inspired you to reconnect with a long-lost classmate, consider transforming that sentiment into a personalized gift with Sandjest. 

Our unique keepsakes provide a tangible way to commemorate the friendships, triumphs, and hilarious moments that make school life unforgettable. Let Sandjest help you express those feelings with a heartfelt, personalized touch that speaks volumes about your shared experiences.

Recall that the highlights of school are the moments of fun and companionship, even in the middle of deadlines and tests.

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Thomas Turner is an SEO Content Writer at Sandjest where he develops and implements content strategies to enhance online visibility and drive organic traffic. With a Bachelor’s degree in Communications from Northwestern University and five years of experience in the marketing and content writing field. In his spare time, Thomas enjoys playing badminton and chess, activities that help him stay active and sharpen his strategic thinking skills.

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80+ Inspiring Homework Quotes To Ignite Your Motivation

Homework is more than a series of assignments; it’s a journey of growth, discovery, and transformation.

Accept each task with enthusiasm, knowing that your hard work will result in a better comprehension of the subject matter and the development of vital life skills.

Let these 80+ homework quotes be your companions as you navigate the path of education. Remember that you can overcome any challenge with determination and a positive mindset .

Table of Contents

40 Quotes About Homework to Fuel Your Academic Journey

Beginning on the path of education, homework serves as both a challenge and a catalyst for growth.

20 Funny Quotes on Homework to Brighten Your Study Session

25 quotes about homework being bad: beyond the textbooks, similar posts, 90+ inspirational quotes about the wheel, 100 quotes about moving on & being better off without you, 75 sad birthday quotes for myself | encouraging quotes to help you find peace, 70+ plato quotes about love, 56 ‘good morning cousin quotes’: spreading warmth and love, 110+ blood in blood out quotes [big ai, cruzito, paco, miklo & popeye], leave a reply cancel reply.

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Homework Quotes

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Nothing is more powerful for your future than being a gatherer of good ideas and information. That's called doing your homework.

A genius is a talented person who does his homework.

Homework strongly indicates that the teachers are not doing their jobs well enough during the school day. It's not like they'll let you bring your home stuff to school and work on it there. You can't say, 'I didn't finish sleeping at home, so I have to work on finishing my sleep here.

Genius is one percent inspiration and ninety-nine percent perspiration. As a result, a genius is often a talented person who has simply done all of his homework.

Homework is a term that means grown up imposed yet self-afflicting torture.

Persistence is important in every endeavor. Whether it's finishing your homework, completing school, working late to finish a project, or "finishing the drill" in sports, winners persist to the point of sacrifice in order to achieve their goals.

I like a teacher who gives you something to take home to think about besides homework.

Homework, I have discovered, involves a sharp pencil and thick books and long sighs.

You will never get anywhere if you do not do your homework.

We're doing our homework to make sure we're prepared.

Do your homework or hire wise experts to help you. Never jump into a business you have no idea about.

When was the last time you used the words 'teach me'? Maybe not since you started first grade? Here's an irony about school: The daily grind of tests, homework, and pressures sometimes blunts rather than stimulates a thirst for knowledge.

The more you do your homework, the more you're free to be intuitive. But you've got to put the work in.

College is about three things: homework, fun, and sleep...but you can only choose two.

The best schools tend to have the best teachers, not to mention parents who supervise homework, so there is less need for self-organised learning. But where a child comes from a less supportive home environment, where there are family tensions perhaps, their schoolwork can suffer. They need to be taught to think and study for themselves.

One of life's most painful moments comes when we must admit that we didn't do our homework, that we are not prepared.

To overcome stress you have to find out something. You've got to do some research and homework. You need to find out who you are today.

My life is a black hole of boredom and despair." "So basically you've been doing homework." "Like I said, black hole.

Do your homework, study the craft, believe in yourself, and out-work everyone.

Do as much homework as you can. Learn everybody's job and don't just settle.

If you want to be lucky, do your homework.

I'm learning skills I will use for the rest of my life by doing homework...procrastinating and negotiation.

You have got to pay attention, you have got to study and you have to do your homework. You have to score higher than everybody else. Otherwise, there is always somebody there waiting to take your place.

You don’t get rich off your day job, you get rich off your homework.

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15 of the most hilarious homework answers given by smart-ass students

It's a truth universally acknowledged by all current and former students that homework sucks. A lot.

After a long, grueling day of school, most kids have negative levels motivation left to do even more work. It's definitely not encouraging to hear that it may not even make us any smarter .

But some homework answers do show that students can get pretty clever — either out of laziness, misunderstanding, or just a great sense of humor. If you can't get your teacher to give you an A, you can try and eke out some points on a technicality. Or make them laugh.

Here are the best answers that, at the very least, get points for creativity.

1. I mean, same.

2. he loved it before it was cool.

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3. The academic equivalent of "talk to the hand."

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4. Are we humans, or are we wine moms?

5. he's not technically wrong., 6. ooh, sick burn., 7. all women are queens, so jot that down., 8. at least now we know who let the dogs out., 9. yeah get dunked on, tom, 10. why do teachers even bother asking these questions anyways, 11. i'd give him points for boldness., 12. well, i thought it was a nice name., 13. clever, and culturally relevant, 14. maybe not everyone., 15. would it have counted if she traced her hand.

Everyone gets an A+ for effort.

Sage is the newest Culture writer on the block at Mashable NYC. They recently graduated from Sarah Lawrence College, and have previously worked for The Dr. Oz Show, NorthSouth Productions, and on Netflix's 'The OA Part II'. Off the clock, they can be found testing out cupcake recipes, collecting dolls, and watching Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure for the millionth time.

200+ Hilarious Homework Puns to Make Studying More Fun

Are you drowning in a sea of assignments, feeling like the pun-ishment never ends? 📚 It’s time to turn your study frown upside down with a collection of the most side-splitting, giggle-inducing homework puns that the internet has to offer! Whether you’re a student looking to decompress after a long day of equations or a parent seeking to lighten the mood during homework hour, these quips are a class act all on their own. So, sharpen your pencils and your wit, as we present over 200 hilarious homework puns designed to make your studying session a whole lot more fun. Prep yourself for some high-grade laughter, because these clever jests have all the answers for a chuckle-filled study break—no additional research needed! Get ready to laugh until it’s time to hit the books again with these a-dork-able homework puns. Study hard, laugh harder!

Grade-A Giggles: Top Homework Puns (Editors Pick)

1. I tried to do my homework, but it was pointless; it didn’t work out. 2. Why don’t we ever tell secrets on a farm? Because the potatoes have eyes and the corn has ears. 3. I asked my math homework for its number, but it said it had too many problems. 4. Why was the student’s report card wet? Because it was below C level! 5. Doing my homework is like a trip to the dentist, I always brace myself. 6. I’d tell you a chemistry joke but I know I wouldn’t get a reaction. 7. My homework brings all the nerds to the yard, and they’re like, “It wasn’t that hard.” 8. Pencils could be made with erasers at both ends, but what would be the point? 9. Algebra homework is too linear… it’s always straight to the point. 10. Do you need a pencil? Nevermind, there’s no point. 11. History homework is a thing of the past. 12. What did one math book say to the other math book? “Boy, do we have problems.” 13. No matter how much you push the envelope, it’s still stationery. 14. School can be electrifying – especially during a current event. 15. My sister said she’d help me with my homework, but she ran away with it and claimed it was “sibling rivalry.” 16. Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems. 17. When does a joke become a ‘dad joke’? When the punchline becomes apparent. 18. My homework is like a juicy steak – rarely done. 19. What’s the best place to grow flowers in school? In kindergarden. 20. Homework is a foodie’s least favorite meal because you can’t digest it.

“Home ‘Work’ Wits: One-liner Puns to Procrastinate With”

1. I had my homework all done but then my dog claimed it was too ruff. 2. My geometry homework is a square; it’s always right at every angle. 3. I would do my homework, but I can’t until I find an acute pencil. 4. Homework time is always a little sketchy, especially in art class. 5. I thought about doing my homework, but then I decided it was too much of a stretch. 6. I have a phobia of overly complicated math; it’s called “calculustrophobia.” 7. Why was school easier for pirates? Because they were always on the C. 8. My teacher’s superpower is telepathy, she always knows when I haven’t done my homework. 9. What do you call a well-done homework? A rare phenomenon. 10. What’s a teacher’s favorite nation? Expla-nation, especially when homework is missing! 11. Why are English teachers bad at math? Because they always find X to be an unknown character. 12. If you copy your friend’s homework, you might end up with clone work errors. 13. I was going to do my science homework, but I heard it’s all just a bunch of theories. 14. Why are ghosts bad at lying? Because you can see right through them, especially when they say they did their homework. 15. They say doing homework on Sundays is a sin; that’s why I do mine on Monday… to keep it holy. 16. Homework is a drama queen; it loves to make a scene. 17. My computer crashed while I was doing homework, or as I like to call it, “digital fatigue.” 18. I don’t join homework parties; I heard they’re too “sheet.” 19. Math homework is like a foreign movie; without the right subtitles, none of it makes any sense. 20. Doing homework is like yoga, it’s all about finding balance between sleep and deadlines.

Homework Chuckles: Q&A Pundemonium

1. Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems.

2. What’s the best place to do your homework? At the study “bee” because that’s where all the “buzz” is!

3. What do you call a well-organized student’s homework? “Assignment”al order!

4. Why did the student eat his homework? Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake.

5. How does the moon do its homework? It phases it in!

6. Why was the equal sign so humble? Because it knew it wasn’t less than or greater than anyone else.

7. What do you get when you cross a calculator with a dog? A best friend you can count on.

8. Why did the student bring a ladder to school? To reach the high expectations.

9. Why did the pencil break up with the paper? It just couldn’t deal with its tearable attitude.

10. How did the textbook get to school? By taking the “scholar” ship.

11. What’s a math teacher’s favorite type of tree? Geometry.

12. Why can’t you trust an atom with your homework? Because they make up everything!

13. How can you make time fly? Throw a clock out the window during history class!

14. Why did homework get a medal? For being outstanding in its “field” of study.

15. Why don’t you do arithmetic in the jungle? Because if you add 4+4 you get ate (eight)!

16. What does a homework assignment shout at a concert? “Do your math to the beat!”

17. Why are obtuse angles so depressed? Because they’re never right.

18. What did the gym coach say to the math book? “I see you’ve got some problems to “workout”.”

19. Why was the homework like an old library book? Because it was due.

20. How did the homework get a job? It submitted a strong application of itself.

Pencil It In: Double Entendre Homework Wisecracks

1. I’m quite divided on my math homework; it’s going to multiply my problems. 2. Doing homework on the weekend? That’s just not write. 3. I tried to do my homework, but my printer had a paper jam – it was spreading itself too thin. 4. My geometry homework is a pain in all the right angles. 5. Finishing this essay is a paragraph-raphrasing experience. 6. This book report is bound to be interesting – it has a strong spine. 7. The past, present, and future walked into my history homework – it’s about time. 8. Homework on gravitational pull has me feeling down. 9. My chemistry homework is sodium funny, I slapped my neon that one. 10. Doing algebra homework is where I draw the line. 11. History homework is old news, but I’ll conquer it anyway. 12. My literature homework is notably novel. 13. Physics homework is a matter of force and motion – I’m just trying to push through. 14. Music homework really struck a chord with me today. 15. The English assignment was a play on words – talk about dramatic irony. 16. My biology homework is celling me short; it’s got a life of its own. 17. This economics homework is taxing, but I’m not losing interest. 18. My art homework paints a pretty picture, but it’s not quite picture perfect. 19. I’ve got to figure out these math problems before they subtract from my sleep. 20. Reading Shakespeare for homework? It’s much ado about noting.

“Lesson in Laughter: Homework Punditry”

1. Homework is a work in progress – it never stays a home run. 2. Keep calm and curry on with your algebra; it’s all about finding the right spice to the equation. 3. Don’t be obtuse with your geometry homework; it’s pointless without the right angle. 4. When it comes to homework, I always go the extra smile – it’s less painful than going the extra mile. 5. I told my homework to chill out, but it just froze up. 6. I’ve really bonded with chemistry homework, we have great chemistry. 7. When homework has you stressed, just take a paws and reflect on your doggone good effort. 8. I have so many essays to write, I guess you could say I have no more room for era’s. 9. Homework is like going to the gym – it’s a workout for your brain. 10. My math homework is like a fine wine, it gets better with time…and time is what I need to solve it. 11. History homework is a blast from the past, but I struggle to make it presentable. 12. I’ve got to be on the right wavelength with my physics homework, otherwise, it just hertz. 13. Like a good magician, I always make my homework disappear – usually just before class. 14. I was so confident about my homework that I claimed I did it with my eyes closed, but that was just a blanket statement. 15. I tried to sweeten the deal with my geometry homework, but no matter the angle, it just wasn’t pie appealing. 16. If homework was a crime, I’d have a perfect alibi-bra; I was busy reading. 17. I told my homework it didn’t add up, and it took that as a plus. 18. My assignment was to write about the wind, so I blew it away. 19. When I’m underwater with homework, it’s difficult to find the current solution. 20. I tried to cross streams with my science homework, but it only resulted in a chain reaction of confusion.

“Flunk and Roll: Punny Homework Witticisms”

1. I’m reading a book on anti-gravity for homework; it’s impossible to put down. 2. I asked my math homework what it was doing, and it said it was just plotting something. 3. My computer science homework was stressful, but I finally got my bits together. 4. History homework is old news, but I still have to write about it. 5. Homework in space is great; even my mistakes are astronomical. 6. Geometry homework is a bit pointless, until you come around to the right angle. 7. I’m doing homework on electric appliances, but I’m struggling to generate interest. 8. I was going to do my homework on herbivores, but I didn’t find it very amoosing. 9. English homework may not be a tea party, but at least there’s always a strong plot. 10. I finished my homework on time travel, but it’s all in the future tense. 11. My music homework hits a high note, but it’s a lot to conduct. 12. Biology homework can be tough; just thinking about it cells my brain. 13. My homework on wind power is a breeze if you don’t blow it. 14. Fish biology homework is fin-tastic, but sometimes I flounder. 15. Got homework on adhesives? Stick with it, even if it feels like a sticky situation. 16. I had some chemistry homework, but I didn’t react well to it. 17. Doing homework on the solar system really revolves around the sun subjects. 18. I did my homework on boats, it was a bit of a row-ing success. 19. I finished my homework on Greek mythology; it was a Herculean task. 20. Homework on food science is interesting, but it can be a recipe for disaster.

“Assignment Amusement: Punny Homework Monikers”

1. “Copernicus called. He said your projects are so great, they’re the center of the classroom universe!” 2. “I heard Marie Curie was absolutely radiant on her science report!” 3. “How does Mo Salah take his tests? He always strikes the right answers!” 4. “Isaac Newton was a hit in physics class. His theories had an absolute gravitational pull!” 5. “Homer’s poetry essay was epic. He truly lived up to his name!” 6. “I saw Jane Austen reading her book report. She had no Pride or Prejudice, just perfect prose.” 7. “Leonardo da Vinci’s art project was so good, it drew a Mona Lisa smile from the teacher!” 8. “Oprah Winfrey’s book report was so good, everyone in class got a copy!” 9. “Geoffrey Chaucer’s tales from his summer vacation were Canterbury approved.” 10. “Bob Dylan’s music homework was a hit – he clearly knows The Times They Are A-Changin’.” 11. “Margaret Atwood’s essay was so great, it won the book report games.” 12. “It’s rumored that Tony Stark’s tech presentation was absolutely iron-clad.” 13. “Johnny Cash must have done well on his math test because he kept singing about ‘A Boy Named Sum’.” 14. “Agatha Christie’s mystery novel review was so captivating it was criminal!” 15. “Dwayne Johnson’s geology homework truly rocked.” 16. “Serena Williams aced her physical education homework.” 17. “Albert Einstein’s math homework relative-ly outperformed everyone else’s.” 18. “Charles Dickens’ history essay on poverty was so good it deserved an ‘Oliver Twist’ of acclaim.” 19. “Tiger Woods’ ecology project clearly showed he knows the woods.” 20. “J.K. Rowling’s literature analysis was so magical, it could open the Chamber of Secrets.”

“Flipping Funnies: Homework Spoonerisms That’ll Have You in Stitches”

1. Quizard of Woz 2. Crate and Crunch 3. Maction in Frath 4. Whiff on Sighting 5. Spig and Panky 6. Swath Matistics 7. Less in Progress 8. Look at my Homing Bork 9. Blunder and Mightning 10. Painful Moof 11. Thicker to Pinking 12. Numbled Jumbers 13. Mish the Marker 14. Groper Nouns 15. Beastly Ledtime 16. Lazy and Searning 17. Cristory in Hinth 18. Ed’s Asy 19. Mubble Troth 20. Failing the Sinal

“Swift Homework Witticisms: Pun-ditry in Action”

1. “I finished my math assignment,” said Tom sum-marily. 2. “I’ve written my essay on Shakespeare,” said Tom playfully. 3. “This geometry problem is making me think in circles,” Tom said pointlessly. 4. “I’m struggling with my chemistry homework,” said Tom reactively. 5. “I can’t stop doing calligraphy assignments,” said Tom, in a flowing manner. 6. “I’m conducting a physics experiment,” Tom said with potential. 7. “I should be able to spell,” said Tom, characteristically. 8. “I never miss a history lesson,” said Tom, prehistorically. 9. “I must solve this puzzle before recess,” said Tom, perplexed. 10. “I keep getting distracted from my homework,” Tom said, unfocused. 11. “This literature analysis is making me see patterns,” said Tom, metaphorically. 12. “I found the misspelled word,” Tom said correctly. 13. “My vocabulary homework is a breeze,” Tom said articulately. 14. “I’ll never understand this algebra problem,” said Tom, equationally. 15. “I memorized the whole periodic table,” said Tom, elementally. 16. “I’m predicting a 100% score on my statistics homework,” said Tom, probabilistically. 17. “I always use a ruler for my geometry homework,” said Tom, straightly. 18. “I wrote my thesis on palindromes,” said Tom, levelly. 19. “I’ve mastered the art of French grammar,” said Tom, conjugally. 20. “I’ll have to hand in my computer science homework late,” Tom said, programmatically.

“Work It Out: Oxy-MORON-ic Homework Chuckles”

1. “I’m clearly confused by this homework assignment.” 2. “You could say I’m awfully good at procrastinating on my essays.” 3. “This math problem is simply complex.” 4. “I have a definite maybe about my answer to question three.” 5. “Join the student club for active loafers—homework avoiders unite!” 6. “I’m honestly deceptive when it comes to my homework deadlines.” 7. “I’m seriously joking about finishing my project early.” 8. “That new homework policy is agreeably awful.” 9. “I guess I’ll start my homework at a later earlier time.” 10. “I’m studying with a deafening silence in the library.” 11. “This quiet noise in the study hall is making concentrating a breeze.” 12. “Accidentally on purpose forgot my homework at home.” 13. “I’m hopelessly optimistic about acing this test without studying.” 14. “Doing homework is leisurely work for me.” 15. “This assignment might be considered funnily boring.” 16. “I’m taking an open secret approach to my math homework.” 17. “Everybody is uniquely cliché when it comes to dog-eating-homework excuses.” 18. “I’m passively aggressive when reminded about my overdue assignments.” 19. “I’m studying in a state of peaceful chaos right now.” 20. “The homework routine is an expected surprise every evening.”

Nested Nerdiness: Homework Puns on Loop

1. Why did the math book look so sad? Because it had too many problems, which it always counted on solving. 2. Speaking of problems, when it solved one, there was always another “sum” around the corner. 3. And every time it thought it was adding value, it just ended up with more division. 4. This division made it feel like a fraction of its former self, always trying to reduce to its simplest form. 5. Not to mention the pressure to be in ‘shape’—it had to be well-rounded in geometry yet sharp in algebra. 6. It felt like its whole life was just a series of functions, constantly seeking its true identity. 7. Each function was a new transformation, leaving it to reflect on its past mistakes. 8. But whenever it tried to coordinate a better life, it just ended up in another plane of existence. 9. It dreamed of a balanced equation, but life kept throwing it exponents, escalating its problems. 10. The exponents made it exponentially stressed—after all, its powers were limited. 11. It tried to approach its tasks with positivity, but negatives were always being subtracted from its happiness. 12. And if it tried to go for a higher degree, it merely ended up going in circles… radians, specifically. 13. Those circles led it to the point of no return; oh, it felt so irrational, like pi without end. 14. Indeed, finding its perimeter of peace was always just out of reach, a constant cycle of circumference. 15. It wanted to find its parallel, but life was never that straight or fair – just full of angles and twists. 16. Surely, it could find an angle to solve its issues, but instead, it kept going off on tangents. 17. It longed to be a prime example of success, but felt constantly divided by its peers. 18. And each division just left it with remainders of regret, feeling like an odd number out. 19. It would try to even things out, but by then, it was a complex number intertwined with imaginary solutions. 20. In the end, it realized life was just a sequence of patterns, an infinite series of variables and constants, and homework was merely its constant variable.

Mastering “Pun”-ctuality: Assignments with a Twist

1. Homework is a dish best served correct. 2. Don’t count your Tutors before they grade. 3. A home(work) is where the heart is. 4. No rest for the studious. 5. No pains, no grades. 6. The pen is mightier than the report card. 7. When the going gets tough, the tough get homework. 8. You can lead a student to homework, but you can’t make them think. 9. Don’t judge a book report by its cover. 10. Homework wasn’t built in a day. 11. It’s all fun and games until someone loses a pen. 12. Practice makes perfect, but nobody’s perfect, so why do homework? 13. Better late than never to start that essay. 14. You can’t teach an old dog new math. 15. A little learning is a dangerous thing. So is a lot of homework. 16. Actions speak louder than report cards. 17. Too many cooks spoil the math problem. 18. An essay a day keeps the F’s away. 19. The road to A’s is paved with failed quizzes. 20. Out of the classroom and into the fryer.

In conclusion, we hope these giggles have rebooted your brain and added a pinch of playfulness to your study sessions. Remember, homework doesn’t always have to be a bore; with a little bit of humor, it can be a whole lot more. So the next time you’re stuck solving for ‘x’ or knee-deep in historical dates, crack a pun and let the laughter make learning lighter.

Don’t let the pun stop here! If your funny bone is still itching for more wordplay wizardry, we’ve got a veritable treasure trove of puns on our website that are sure to crack you up. Dive into our collection and let the pun-derful times roll!

We’re thrilled you chose to tickle your humorous side with us today. A massive thank you for hanging around pun-doras box. Keep smiling, studying, and, most importantly, punning—it’s just how we roll here. Until next time, keep those pun-wheels turning!

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127+ Best Homework Quotes: Exclusive Selection

Homework teaches students to work independently and develop self-discipline. Profoundly inspirational homework quotes will fire up your brain and encourage you to look at life differently while making you laugh.

Famous Homework Quotes

One of life’s most painful moments comes when we must admit that we didn’t do our homework, that we are not prepared. — Merlin Olsen

You have got to pay attention, you have got to study and you have to do your homework. You have to score higher than everybody else. Otherwise, there is always somebody there waiting to take your place. — Daisy Fuentes

I’m just living my life. I’m incredibly disciplined and I work incredibly hard. I show up for things on time, I do my homework, and I work my ass off. I’ve had a lot of luck, but I work really, really hard. — Anna Paquin

I put so much pressure on myself to be perfect. Between homework and sports and drama and being social, I slept about four hours a night through high school and college. — Allison Williams

Having mid-week games is great. It’s almost like the pros. With three games you need to get your rest and get your fluids. You also need to make sure you get your homework done, because you don’t have every night free until Friday. — Tim Cook

No kid should be getting three or four hours of homework a night. There’s no breathing time, there’s no family time, there are just extracurriculars and homework and then go to bed. — Ross W. Greene

I also want to thank the person who picked up litter and put it in the litter basket. I want to thank the parents who help their children with homework every night and I want to thank the person who goes by to check on a neighbor, — James Perkins

I wait till the last minute to do lyrics. I seem to work best that way – bummed out and under pressure. I often don’t do my homework. But I’ll always walk that extra mile. — Steven Tyler

The best thing about baseball is there’s no homework. — Dan Quisenberry

We do everything together. At first, it was mostly wrestling but then we’d hang out together and do our homework together. — Alex McKinney

‘Grey Gardens’ consumed my life for over two and a half years. It really takes its toll on the family. I’m not there to tuck them in, help them with homework and eat dinner with them. When I work on a show, I only have about 20 minutes a day with my family. — Christine Ebersole

We have been very grateful of the support from Spain and the European Union but we also feel we have to do our homework ourselves and not only trust our friends but also trust ourselves. — Per Stig

Jeremy is a player we did our homework on. He’s a defender, but is actually a converted forward. There are a lot of things we liked about him. — Dave Sarachan

Parents want to know things like how much homework their kids are doing, is it too much, what should they be reading, and at what level, — Piers Morgan

After your first job, is anyone asking you what your GPA was? No, they don’t care. They ask you: Are you a good leader? Do people follow you? Do you have integrity? Are you innovative? Do you solve problems? Somebody’s got to do that homework and redesign the educational system so that it can actually train people to be successful in life — Neil DeGrasse Tyson

We really wanted, as a committee, to do a thorough job and not jump into something. We looked at a lot of great candidates, and we did our homework on them. This committee was very, very thorough. — Randy Stange

I can get my homework done and hang out with my friends. — Mike Darnell

Bird flu is totally under control, … The outbreak … occurred in one area and has been contained. Of course, we need to be careful, we need to do our homework well. — Recep Erdogan

Some adults feel intimidated by school, intimidated by the teacher, intimidated by the kind of homework their children are bringing home. It makes it difficult to be a part of things if you don’t have the skills you need. — Debra Conner

I couldn’t do my homework if my room wasn’t clean. And it has carried on now that I am older, in a very freakish way. — Shaun White

She really did her homework on this one and read the analysts. — Holly Armstrong

Adrenaline kicks you in when you’re starving. That’s what nobody understands. Except for being hungry and cold, most of the time I feel like I can do anything. It gives me superhuman powers of smell and hearing. I can see what people are thinking, stay two steps ahead of them. I do enough homework to stay off the radar. Every night I climb thousands of steps into the sky to make me so exhausted that when I fall into bed, I don’t notice Cassie. Then suddenly it’s morning and I leap on the hamster wheel and it starts all over again. — Laurie Halse Anderson

Personally, the experience is amazing. To see where these kids live and grow up, it’s an experience all in itself to just talk to them individually and feel that you have made some kind of positive impact on their life. Most of them really are good kids stuck in a bad situation and we are there to try to bring out that motivation and determination in them to succeed in life. And the kids have started to warm up to us. They are starting to bring their homework more often and have gained more interest in what we have to share with them. — Ben Schaub

Motivational Quotes About Homework

We have some tape on them from over the course of the year. We’ll have to do our homework now. — Jerry York

There aren’t many rests in Jennifer’s concerto. She’s done her homework well and knows what works. But I have to be more like a long distance runner for this concerto, while orchestra playing is more like being a sprinter. — Peter Sullivan

Here, homework is not a punishment. They really like coming to homework club. We want it to feel like home. — Amy Campbell

I felt extremely comfortable and at home on the set and actually I did homework about breaking down the scenes and often had shot lists in a rough way, but it was actually extremely spontaneous. Working with David Lynch-he is so spontaneous. — Joan Chen

Gabbe stepped forward. “Cam’s right. I’ve heard the Scale speak of these shifts.” She was tugging on the sleeves of her pale yellow cashmere cardigan as if she would never get warm. “They’re called timequakes. They are ripples in our reality. “And the closer he gets,” Roland added, with his usual understated wisdom, “the closer we are to the terminus of his Fall, the more frequent and the more severe the timequakes will become. Time is faltering in preparation for rewriting itself. “Like the way your computer freezes up more and more frequently before the hard drive crashes and erases your twenty-page term paper?” Miles said. Everyone looked at him in befuddlement. “What?” he asked. “Angels and demons don’t do homework? — Lauren Kate

The Public Health Minister who should have done her homework instead defended industry. But critical mass has been reached and many other campaigns have been initiated to eliminate aspartame. — Roger Williams

We’re going shine all day, all night. Please don’t be mad at us if we don’t do a little homework the next couple of weeks. — Joakim Noah

This is what I tell, especially young women, fight the big fights. Don’t fight the little fight … Be the first one in, be the last one out. Do your homework, choose your battles. Don’t whine, and don’t be the one who complains about everything. Fight the big fight. — Barbara Walters

Sadly, I do my homework. I’ve a soft spot for the boring minutiae. I read the Charter of the United Nations before meeting with Kofi Annan. I read the Meltzer report, and then I’ll read C. Fred Bergsten’s defense of institutions like the World Bank and the I.M.F. It’s embarrassing to admit. — Bono

We’ve lots of confidence in our game. Teams will have done their homework but our style is pretty hard to mark up if we do it properly. — Chris Jones

The more you do your homework, the more you’re free to be intuitive. But you’ve got to put the work in. — Edward Norton

He had done his homework on me. I like that. He was serious about me. — Alex Wood

My dad was fine about me doing modelling at 16 because I always said school was important to me. I always chose my jobs carefully so I wouldn’t have to take too much time off. It got harder toward the end with my A-levels; there were sleepless nights, and I was doing my homework on the plane coming home, but I pulled through. — Georgia May Jagger

Homework Quotes For Students

I would have to say I was an excellent student. I was the type to always do my homework and study when I needed to. I never really partied or did anything like that. — Tia Mowry

She’s so concentrated. She wasn’t going to let her homework slip. — Susan Reed

From parents, we get hugs. We’ve had a lot of comments that homework time has been cut in half. — Becky Dyer

We’re very pushed to have our grades on target so we can play. We have to make sure all our homework is done. — Sandra Ford

I think if you get asked to do this, then that’s called doing your homework, and I try and do it. — Mark Harmon

Many people who buy a car can’t afford what they’re getting into. They don’t do their homework and they don’t look at the alternatives. — Phil Edmonston

I’m a very research-, homework-oriented person. — Drew Barrymore

If a student knows their parents are looking online, they’ll want to do their homework and stay in school because they’ll know Mom or Dad will see if they’ve skipped class. — James Davis

We recommend that teachers don’t give homework or have big projects due during testing. — Kandise Gilbertson

We were kids still in school and playing 24 hours. We would get off school and then go do our homework in the bar right across the street and then play there until one or two in the morning and then grab a few hours’ sleep before we went to school. Then the same thing repeated, man, over and over. — Henry Garza

I’d much rather do research on up and coming companies that have potential and take the risk. It boils down to doing a lot of homework and learning the underlying fundamentals. — Fred Walker

I actually had to do my homework to pass the time. It was horrible. — S. Walker

I wish it looked more like a car. But NASCAR has done their homework on it, and it doesn’t look like we got much of a choice. — Clint Bowyer

When I come home, it’s about my kid, who needs to eat, needs to do homework, and needs to get to basketball. I don’t have a lot of time to think about me. — Taraji P. Henson

On school nights I practice 45 minutes to an hour, depending on how much homework I’ve got. — Colin Brown

We do our homework and we feel good about how we evaluated the players. — Trudi Lacey

The Chinese mom is not the helicopter mom. I would never do their homework for them. It’s all about: Take responsibility, don’t blame others. Be self-reliant. Never blame the teacher. — Amy Chua

He’s a big dude. You have to do your homework on where he wants to get to. I read it very well. You know where it’s coming from but it doesn’t always mean you’ll get it. — Adonal Foyle

Everyone has days where they don’t get their way, where you have to go to bed early or you have too much homework to do or you can’t eat the candy that you want or you miss your favorite TV show and, in those moments, you just want to tear the whole world down. — Alex Hirsch

Ricky was L but he’s home with the flu,Lizzie, our O, had some homework to do,Mitchell, E prob’ly got lost on the way,So I’m all of the love that could make it today. — Shel Silverstein

We bought some shares recently in a dot.com company that was absolutely annihilated after this recent rout, About.com ( BOUT : Research , Estimates ), which is the ninth-largest Web property of all Web properties. The stock dropped from 100 in late March, to a low of $21. This is a company with a real business model that had blowout first-quarter earnings. And they are actually going to turn a profit in 2001. Investors went from ‘everything Internet is good’, to the ‘everything Internet is bad’ mantra. So now you’ve got to do your homework and look at individual names and identify the business models that are valid. And I think this is one that can go back to its old high. — Dan Veru

I don’t want to brag, but I do more homework on the course than any other announcer. I chart the greens to get all the breaks. I walk down into the greenside bunkers. I walk into the fairway bunkers to see whether a player can reach the green from them. — Johnny Miller

I think its important that kids have homework about every night, — Tom Turner

Acting, and the privilege of being able to do it for a living, is so important to me. I don’t turn up and just hope for the best. I really fret about it. I do my homework; I prepare myself for the experience of playing a particular character. — Kate Winslet

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300 Funny Quotes To Make You Laugh

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Looking for a good laugh? We’ve got you covered with a huge list of funny quotes to make you laugh out loud.

Laughter truly is the best medicine for your soul. Not only does laughter reduce stress, it lowers your blood pressure, gives you an excellent ab workout, and releases endorphins.

So enjoy these 300 laughable quotes, sayings, and observations and get laughing today.

Page Contents

Top Funny Quotes

I’m sick of following my dreams, man. I’m just going to ask where they’re going and hook up with ’em later. Mitch Hedberg

A pessimist is a person who has had to listen to too many optimists. Don Marquis

Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt. Abraham Lincoln

If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one? Abraham Lincoln

The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time. Abraham Lincoln

An alcoholic is someone you don’t like who drinks as much as you do. Dylan Thomas

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak. Alan Dundes

The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits. Albert Einstein

War is God’s way of teaching Americans geography. Ambrose Bierce

If you want your children to listen, try talking softly to someone else. Ann Landers

I don’t believe in astrology; I’m a Sagittarius and we’re skeptical. Arthur C. Clarke

A smile is a facelift that’s in everyone’s price range! Tom Wilson

A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don’t need it. Bob Hope

My favorite machine at the gym is the vending machine. Caroline Rhea

I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early. Charles Lamb

Don’t worry about the world coming to an end today. It is already tomorrow in Australia. Charles Shulz

A day without laughter is a day wasted. Charlie Chaplin

Political correctness is tyranny with manners. Charleton Heston

If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito. Dalai Lama

Remember, today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday. Dale Carnegie

Education is learning what you didn’t even know you didn’t know. Daniel J. Boorstin

Everyone with telekinetic powers, raise my hand. Emo Philips

All the things I really like to do are either immoral, illegal or fattening. Alexander Woollcott

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. Erma Bombeck

Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy. Francois de La Rochefoucauld

The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us. Bill Waterson

Whoever said money can’t buy happiness didn’t know where to shop. Gertrude Stein

All men are equal before fish. Herbert Hoover

People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do. Isaac Asimov

My pessimism extends to the point of even suspecting the sincerity of other pessimists. Jean Rostand

Life is hard. After all, it kills you. Katharine Hepburn

Originality is the fine art of remembering what you hear but forgetting where you heard it. Laurence J. Peter

Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter. Mark Twain

I am only human, although I regret it. Mark Twain

When you go into court you are putting your fate into the hands of twelve people who weren’t smart enough to get out of jury duty. Norm Crosby

What the world needs is more geniuses with humility; there are so few of us left. Oscar Levant

When a man opens a car door for his wife, it’s either a new car or a new wife. Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh

I dream of a better tomorrow, where chickens can cross the road and not be questioned about their motives. Ralph Waldo Emerson

I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man, and I hate people like that! Tom Lehrer

A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money. W. C. Fields

Insanity is hereditary; you get it from your children. Sam Levenson

He knows nothing; he thinks he knows everything – that clearly points to a political career. George Bernard Shaw

Everything is funny, as long as it’s happening to somebody else. Will Rogers

I had plastic surgery last week – I cut up my credit cards. Henny Youngman

Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are a good person is a little like expecting the bull not to attack you because you are a vegetarian. Dennis Wholey

Funny Quotes from Comedians

Nobody provides laughs like comedians. After all, they do it for a living!

These funny quotes are some of the best we could find from hilarious actors and comics alike.

The average dog is a nicer person than the average person. Andy Rooney

Have you noticed that all the people in favor of birth control are already born? Benny Hill

As a child my family’s menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it. Buddy Hackett

It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another person’s plate. Dave Barry

My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She’s ninety-seven now, and we don’t know where the hell she is. Ellen DeGeneres

Everyone has a purpose in life . Perhaps yours is watching television. David Letterman

can’t understand why a person will take a year to write a novel when he can easily buy one for a few dollars. Fred Allen

The first time I sang in the church choir; two hundred people changed their religion. Fred Allen

Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city. George Burns

Happiness is a dry martini and a good woman… or a bad woman. George Burns

When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick. George Burns

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving faster than you is a maniac, and anyone going slower than you is a moron? George Carlin

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me – they’re cramming for their final exam. George Carlin

There is no such thing as fun for the whole family. Jerry Seinfeld

According to a new survey, 90% of men say their lover is also their best friend. Which is really kind of disturbing when you consider man’s best friend is his dog. Jay Leno

It’s amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper. Jerry Seinfeld

Money is not the most important thing in the world. Love is. Fortunately, I love money. Jackie Mason

If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead. Johnny Carson

Everything that used to be a sin is now a disease. Bill Maher

Women cannot complain about men anymore until they start getting better taste in them. Bill Maher

If you think you have it tough, read history books. Bill Maher

This is the worst thing to happen to beaches since the Speedo. Bill Maher

A study in the Washington Post says that women have better verbal skills than men. I just want to say to the authors of that study: ‘Duh.’ Conan O’Brien

The only bathroom law I’m interested in is one that bans loud sighing. Conan O’Brien

I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific. Lily Tomlin

The road to success is always under construction. Lily Tomlin

God did not intend religion to be an exercise club. Naguib Mahfouz

If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question? Lily Tomlin

Every time something pops in my head, I think twice about it and I do it anyway. Gilbert Gottfried

If someone else is paying for it, food just tastes a lot better. Gilbert Gottfried

The word abbreviation sure is long for what it means. Zach Galifianakis

Anyone can be confident with a full head of hair. But a confident bald man – there’s your diamond in the rough. Larry David

If I wasn’t a golfer, I would still be miserable – but not as miserable. Larry David

I’m one of the few people in Hollywood who actually had a good childhood. Seth MacFarlane

Confidence is 10% work and 90% delusion. Tina Fey

Talking about music is like dancing about architecture. Steve Martin

My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on. Joan Rivers

Don’t keep a man guessing too long – he’s sure to find the answer somewhere else. Mae West

I’m not for everyone. I’m barely for me. Marc Maron

Cleaning up with children around is like shoveling during a blizzard. Margaret Culkin Banning

Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They’re about to announce the lottery numbers. Matt Groening

A day without sunshine is like, you know, night. Steve Martin

The Internet is just a world passing around notes in a classroom. Jon Stewart

Fatherhood is great because you can ruin someone from scratch. Jon Stewart

You have to remember one thing about the will of the people: it wasn;t that long ago we were swept away by the Macarena. Jon Stewart

My theory is that all of Scottish cuisine is based on a dare. Mike Myers

If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands? Milton Berle

My doctor told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already. Milton Berle

I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them. Phyllis Diller

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing. Redd Foxx

When you’re in love it’s the most glorious two and a half days of your life. Richard Lewis

Lead me not into temptation; I can find the way myself. Rita Mae Brown

When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always. Rita Rudner

If you want to look thin: hang out with fat people. Rodney Dangerfield, Back to School

I don’t want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying. Woody Allen

Marriage is like mushrooms: we notice too late if they are good or bad. Woody Allen

The best way to teach your kids about taxes is by eating 30 percent of their ice cream. Bill Murray

Having a smoking section in a restaurant is like having a peeing section in a pool. Bill Murray

Before you marry a person, you should at least make them use a computer with a slow internet connection to find out who they really are. Will Ferrell

Different taste in jokes is a great strain on the affections. George Eliot

Sports are the reason I am out of shape. I watch them all on TV. Thomas Sowell

If your parents never had children, chances are… neither will you. Dick Cavett

The guy who invented the first wheel was an idiot. The guy who invented the other three, he was a genius. Sid Caesar

The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn’t for any religious reasons. They couldn’t find three wise men and a virgin. Jay Leno

Love conquers all things except poverty and toothache. Mae West

A bargain is something you don’t need at a price you can’t resist. Franklin Jones

It’s not the size of the dog in the fight, it’s the size of the dog’s owner – and the distance you are from your car. Demetri Martin

The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades. Demetri Martin

I live about four muggings from Central Park. Henny Youngman

The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret. Henny Youngman

I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back. Henny Youngman

I did not climb to the top of the food chain to eat carrots. Ron White

DeBeers should change it’s motto to ‘Diamonds – that’ll shut her up… for a minute!’ Ron White

I wouldn’t camp out for five days if was… camping. Ron White

Quotes to Make You Laugh

Trouble knocked at the door, but, hearing laughter, hurried away. Benjamin Franklin

Inside me there’s a thin person struggling to get out, but I can usually sedate him with four or five cupcakes. Bob Thaves

All right everyone, line up alphabetically according to your height. Casey Stengel

When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President. I’m beginning to believe it. Clarence Darrow

Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night. Dave Barry

I used to jog but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass. David Lee Roth

There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable.There is another theory which states that this has already happened. Douglas Adams

If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments. Earl Wilson

A woman is like a tea bag – you can’t tell how strong she is until you put her in hot water. Eleanor Roosevelt

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing. Emo Philips

I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn’t work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness. Emo Philips

You know you’re getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you’re down there. George Burns

If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? George Carlin

To those of you who received honors, awards and distinctions, I say well done. And to the C students, I say you, too, can be president of the United States. George W. Bush

Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes. After that who cares?… He’s a mile away and you’ve got his shoes! Billy Connolly

Here’s to our wives and girlfriends… may they never meet! Groucho Marx

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. Groucho Marx

The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity. Harlan Ellison

Life begins at 40 – but so do fallen arches, rheumatism, faulty eyesight, and the tendency to tell a story to the same person, three or four times. Helen Rowland

I’ve got all the money I’ll ever need, if I die by four o’clock. Henny Youngman

Sickos don’t scare me. At least they’re committed. Michelle Pfeiffer, Batman Returns

All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt. Charles Schulz

Friends are people who know you really well and like you anyway. Greg Tamblyn

Here’s something to think about: How come you never see a headline like ‘Psychic Wins Lottery’? Jay Leno

Women are wiser than men because they know less and understand more. James Thurber

Facebook just sounds like a drag, in my day seeing pictures of peoples vacations was considered a punishment. Betty White

They say marriages are made in Heaven. But so is thunder and lightning. Clint Eastwood

The greatest thief this world has ever produced is procrastination, and he is still at large. Josh Billings

The safe way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket. Kin Hubbard

True terror is to wake up one morning and discover that your high school class is running the country. Kurt Vonnegut

Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society. Mark Twain

Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow. Mark Twain

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad. Miles Kington

The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he is a baby. Natalie Wood

Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back. Oscar Wilde

The only reason some people get lost in thought is because it’s unfamiliar territory. Paul Fix

A lot of fellows nowadays have a B.A., M.D., or Ph.D. Unfortunately, they don’t have a J.O.B. Fatz Domino

“Be yourself” is about the worst advice you can give some people. Thomas Lansing Masson

Older people shouldn’t eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get. Robert Orben

My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you’re ugly too. Rodney Dangerfield

We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations – we’re doing everything we can to keep our marriage together. Rodney Dangerfield

I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade… And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party. Ron White

It’s true hard work never killed anybody, but I figure, why take the chance? Ronald Reagan

Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair. Sam Ewing

I live by my own rules (reviewed, revised, and approved by my wife)… but still my own. Si Robertson

A man in love is incomplete until he has married. Then he’s finished. Zsa Zsa Gabor

When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them. Rodney Dangerfield

I was trying to daydream, but my mind kept wandering. Steven Wright

My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them. Mitch Hedberg

Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who would want to live in an institution? H.L. Mencken

I told you to go to Cox’s and buy a searsucker suit, but it looks like you went to Sears instead. Jay Shulte

I am an early bird and a night owl… so I am wise and I have worms. Michael Scott

Funny Sayings

To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first, and call whatever you hit the target. Ashleigh Brilliant

My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I’m right. Ashleigh Brilliant

Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy. Benjamin Franklin

We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public. Bryan White

But the fact that some geniuses were laughed at does not imply that all who are laughed at are geniuses. They laughed at Columbus, they laughed at Fulton, they laughed at the Wright Brothers. But they also laughed at Bozo the Clown. Carl Sagan

Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog. Few people are interested and the frog dies of it. E. B. White

Never have more children than you have car windows. Erma Bombeck

I drink to make other people more interesting. Ernest Hemingway

One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor. George Carlin

Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife. Groucho Marx

Behind every successful man is a surprised mother-in-law. Voltaire

If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you. Groucho Marx

It’s a recession when your neighbor loses his job; it’s a depression when you lose yours. Ronald Reagan

A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on. Winston Chruchill

f you’re going to do something tonight that you’ll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep late. Henny Youngman

When we talk to God, we’re praying. When God talks to us, we’re schizophrenic. Jane Wagner

Laugh a lot. It burns a lot of calories. Jessica Simpson

If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the up button. Sam Levenson

Once you give up integrity, the rest is a piece of cake. J.R. Ewing, Dallas

A fool and his money never should have got together in the first place. Michael Douglas, Wall Street

If you think education is expensive, try ignorance. Derek Bok

I thought I was wrong once, but I was mistaken. H. Kyle Seale

Don’t let schooling interfere with your education. Mark Twain

Avoid fruits and nuts. You are what you eat. Jim Davis

Age is just a number. It’s totally irrelevant unless, of course, you happen to be a bottle of wine. Joan Collins

Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names. John F. Kenendy

If you’re too open-minded; your brains will fall out. Lawrence Ferlinghetti

I have learned from my mistakes, and I am sure I can repeat them exactly. Peter Cook

There’s a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line. Oscar Levant

A camel is a horse designed by a committee. Sir Alec Issigonis

The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on. Robert Bloch

It does not matter whether you win or lose, what matters is whether I win or lose! Steven Weinberg

I intend to live forever. So far, so good. Steven Wright

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. Steven Wright

A verbal contract isn’t worth the paper it’s written on. Samuel Goldwyn

I wish I were dumber so I could be more certain about my opinions. It looks fun. Scott Adams

When I hear somebody sigh, ‘Life is hard,’ I am always tempted to ask, ‘Compared to what?’ Sydney J. Harris

If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There’s no point in being a damn fool about it. W. C. Fields

We are all here on earth to help others. What on earth the others are here for I don’t know. W. H. Auden

The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces. Will Rogers

When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car. Will Rogers

I’m not superstitious, but I am a little stitious. Steve Carell, The Office

You cannot soar with the eagles as long as you hang out with the turkeys. Joel Osteen

Everybody talks about the weather, but nobody does anything about it. Charles Dudley Warner

If at first you don’t succeed, quit. When life gives you lemons, quit. When the going gets tough, the tough just quit. Jim Rome

It’s always funny until someone gets hurt. Then it’s just hilarious. Bill Hicks

Funny Observations

Sometimes simply observing daily life provides enough funny quotes to make you laugh.

These humorous observation quotes are a great way to reflect and add some levity to daily situations.

The only mystery in life is why the kamikaze pilots wore helmets. Al McGuire

Everybody who is incapable of learning has taken to teaching. Oscar Wilde

Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal. Albert Camus

Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. Invariably they are both disappointed. Albert Einstein

It would be nice to spend billions on schools and roads, but right now that money is desperately needed for political ads. Andy Borowitz

At every party there are two kinds of people – those who want to go home and those who don’t. The trouble is, they are usually married to each other. Ann Landers

Doctors are just the same as lawyers; the only difference is that lawyers merely rob you, whereas doctors rob you and kill you too. Anton Chekhov

By the time a man realizes that his father was right, he has a son who thinks he’s wrong. Charles Wadsworth

High heels were invented by a woman who had been kissed on the forehead. Christopher Morley

If you love something set it free, but don’t be surprised if it comes back with herpes. Chuck Palahniuk

A failure is like fertilizer; it stinks to be sure, but it makes things grow faster in the future. Dennis Waitley

Biologically speaking, if something bites you it’s more likely to be female. Desmond Morris

Never doubt the courage of the French. They were the ones who discovered that snails are edible. Doug Larson

Good advice is something a man gives when he is too old to set a bad example. Francois de La Rochefoucauld

If you live to be one hundred, you’ve got it made. Very few people die past that age. George Burns

Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit. George Carlin

Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you an automobile. Billy Sunday

My doctor gave me six months to live, but when I couldn’t pay the bill he gave me six months more. Walter Mathau

A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere. Groucho Marx

An expert is one who knows more and more about less and less. Nicholas M. Butler

It’s only when you look at an ant through a magnifying glass on a sunny day that you realize how often they burst into flames. Harry Hill

Formula for success: rise early, work hard, strike oil. J. Paul Getty

Men are like shoes. Some fit better than others. And sometimes you go out shopping and there’s nothing you like. And then, as luck would have it, the next week you find two that are perfect, but you don’t have the money to buy both. Janet Evanovich

Haters are just confused admirers because they can’t figure out the reason why everyone loves you. Jeffree Star

The simple act of opening a bottle of wine has brought more happiness to the human race than all the collective governments in the history of earth. Jim Harrison

Americans are incredibly impatient. Someone once said that the shortest period of time in America is the time between when the light turns green and when you hear the first horn honk. Jim Rohn

It’s always darkest before the dawn. So if you’re going to steal your neighbor’s newspaper, that’s the time to do it. Navjot Singh Sidhu

The avoidance of taxes is the only intellectual pursuit that still carries any reward. John Maynard Keynes

Life is hard; it’s harder if you’re stupid. John Wayne

If there is anything the nonconformist hates worse than a conformist, it’s another nonconformist who doesn’t conform to the prevailing standard of nonconformity. Bill Vaughan

Money won’t buy happiness, but it will pay the salaries of a large research staff to study the problem. Bill Vaughan

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. Lana Turner

A man doesn’t know what he knows until he knows what he doesn’t know. Laurence J. Peter

As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can’t remember the other two. Norm Crosby

To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer. Paul R. Ehrlich

Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save. Will Rogers

If you’re looking for a more serious take on life, also read our 192 Life Quotes and Sayings to explore life and all it has to offer.

We spend the first twelve months of our children’s lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up. Phyllis Diller

By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day. Robert Frost

If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask? Do they get smart just in time to ask questions? Scott Adams

A sense of humor is just common sense, dancing. William James

People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing – that’s why we recommend it daily. Zig Ziglar

You’ve got to be very careful if you don’t know where you are going, because you might not get there. Yogi Berra

The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter. Winston Chruchill

Never follow anyone else’s path. Unless you’re in the woods and you’re lost and you see a path. Then by all means follow that path. Ellen DeGeneris

I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with Guess on it. I said, thyroid problem? Arnold Schwarzenegger

Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time. Steven Wright

Any pizza can be a personal pizza if you have the right attitude. Mark Withers

A study of economics usually reveals that the best time to buy anything is last year. Marty Allen

When you go to work, if your name is on the building, you’re rich. If your name is on your desk, you’re middle class. And if your name is on your shirt, you’re poor. Rich Hall

Accomplishing the impossible means only the boss will add it to your regular duties. Doug Larson

In America, one sure sign of success is the presence of an unnecessary waterfall in a person’s yard. Demetri Martin

We hope our collection of funny quotes from comedians, celebrities, and philosophers made you laugh out loud and gives you the cheer you need to get through the day.

Come back anytime you can benefit from a good laugh , and stay inspired. If you have a favorite we may have forgotten, we’d love to hear about it in the comments below. Maybe it will make our next list!

Quincy Seale

9 thoughts on “300 Funny Quotes To Make You Laugh”

I read all of these they are so funny I can’t even stop laughing at all of these.

Thank you so much for all the jokes! Some made me laugh till tears ran—which then made me wonder if they were jokes? ??

Thanks for the great selection of quotes, I needed to find my sense of humor after losing it.

“[He] may talk like an idiot, and look like an idiot, but don’t let that fool you: he really is an idiot.” ~ Groucho Marx

Thank you so much. I realize I should spend much less time watching the news, and more time laughing.

that’s great and very helpful!

Funny, witty, and wise. I read them all, and went from a bad mood to a good mood. Thanks!

God’s love is abundant for every creature. Look at the non-wearing, beautiful and costless but quality shoes cows and goats put on throughout life. Their clothes (hides) are removed, sold and make other expensive items.

Laughter and life truths- a rare delicacy!

Thanks for all those hilarious quotes. You made my day! 😀

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50 School Jokes That Are Definitely Funnier Than Homework

Let's ease the back-to-school jitters with some laughs!

BuzzFeed Contributor

It has been scientifically proven that jokes are good for the soul! Why not make the school routine just a little easier with some cheesy, light-hearted humor? You'll laugh so hard you might just need a shoulder to CRAYON.

Let's start the school year off right with some epic back-to-school jokes:, 1. "why don't scientists trust atoms cause they make up everything".

2. "Did you hear about the mathematician who's afraid of negative numbers? He'll stop at nothing to avoid them!"

— kickypie     

3. "How do you cut someone’s arm off in woodworking class? Whittle by whittle."

— jasonhamrick   

4. "What can you say about a horrible mummy joke? It sphinx!"

— gotmojo6     

5. "What do you call a biscuit that is more intelligent than you? A smart cookie."

— StockInitial4460       

6. "What do you call a detective that accidentally solves crimes? Sheer Luck Holmes."

— StockInitial4460         

7. "After stealing all of the punctuation marks from the keyboard, the judges are…expecting a long sentence."

— Kirkyy23           

8. "I want to tell you a joke about a girl who only eats plants. You’ve probably never herbivore ."

— gotmojo6             

9. "I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down!"

10. "a man died today when a pile of books fell on him. he only had his shelf to blame.".

  — gotmojo6               

11. "What do you call a duck that gets straight A's in school? A wise quacker."

— Anonymous                     

12. "Why did Cinderella get kicked off her soccer team? Because she kept running away from the ball."

  — StockInitial4460                   

13. "Why were the fish's grades bad? They were all below sea level."

— Anonymous                       

14. "Why did the eraser add insult to injury? It likes to rub it in."

— ebeisaac                 

15. "Little Johnny: Teacher, can I go to the bathroom? Teacher: Little Johnny, may I go to the bathroom? Little Johnny: But I asked first!"

— YZXFILE         

16. "Did you hear the joke about the broken pencil? Never mind. It’s pointless."

— AaliyahNoor                         

17. "Why did the student throw a clock out the window? Because he wanted to see time fly."

— MeepRJ                           

18. "Why did the kid eat his homework? Because his teacher said, 'it was a piece of cake.'"

— theonethatworkshard                             

19. "Why does a moon rock taste better than an Earth rock? It’s a little meteor."

— UYScutiPuffJr                               

20. "What world capital has the fastest growing population? Ireland. The capital is Dublin every day."

— UYScutiPuffJr                                 

21. "How much do neutrons cost? Nothing, they’re free of charge."

— UYScutiPuffJr                                   

22. "What do you call it when Hagrid takes a ceramics class? Hairy Potter."

23. "what us state has the smallest drinks mini-soda", 24. "how do you tell the difference between an alligator and a crocodile you see one later, and one in a while.", 25. "how much do rainbows weigh not much; they’re actually pretty light.", 26. "what baseball player has the shortest commute the catcher, he works from home.", 27. "what did one tectonic plate say to another when they bumped into each other sorry, my fault.", 28. "why are math teachers always so upset they have so many problems.", 29. "what do you call a second-place trophy in an astronomy contest a constellation prize.", 30. "who invented fractions henry the 1/4th.", 31. "why are saturday and sunday the strongest days all the rest are weakdays.", 32. "how do bees get to school the school buzz".

— CryptoReaper5                                   

33. "Where do math teachers go on vacation? Times Square."

34. "what do all the cool kids learn at school algebrah.".

— Roberticus123                                   

35. "Why did the student show up to school covered in wrapping paper? His teacher said he had to be present!"

— Anonymous                                   

36. "A lady asked me if I needed help when I was choking on some alphabet pasta. She took the words right out of my mouth!"

— AnimatorNr1                                   

37. "There’s a new airline for book lovers. It has a large library of popular books. It’s called Jane Air."

— Hefy_jefy                                   

38. "A woman walks into a library and asks if they have any books about paranoia. The Librarian: 'They're right behind you!'"

39. "i'm reading a book called anti-climax at the moment. the beginning is really good.".

— SheldonE65                                   

40. "Why did the cross-eyed teacher get fired? She couldn't control her pupils."

— CorrectTowel                                   

41. "Why did the scarecrow win the Nobel Prize? He was outstanding in his field."

— as1126                                   

42. "What's a snake's favorite subject in school? Hiss-tory!!"

— MeaningfullyThat                               

43. "Why can't a nose be 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot."

— FunEntersTheChat                                 

44. "How was the Roman Empire cut in half? With a pair of Caesars."

— NTRX                                     

45. "What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium."

— TrustMeImLeifEricson                                   

46. "I'd tell you a chemistry joke, but all the good ones argon."

47. "a neutron walks into a bar. the bartender says 'for you, no charge.'".

— kesh_from_downunder                                     

48. "What did the tree say when it looked in the mirror?GEOMETRY!"

— mrcorleymath                                   

49. "I was reading a book on helium. I couldn’t put it down."

— Professional-Tower76                                     

50. "Photons have mass? I didn't even know they were Catholic."

— DudeFromSaudi                                       

H/T: r/cleanjokes , r/matheducation , r/jokesforkids , r/dadjokes , r/kidjokes , r/AskReddit , and r/funny

Do you have any back-to-school jokes let me know in the comments, share this article.

Trump didn't say cereal is now $100 a pound at press conference | Fact check

The claim: Trump said cereal costs $100 a pound at press conference

An Aug. 17 Threads post ( direct link , archive link ) shows former President Donald Trump speaking next to a table of groceries at a campaign event. The post, which is a screenshot of a post on X , formerly Twitter, also purports to share a quote from Trump.

"You used to be able to get cereal for 20, 30 bucks a pound," reads the purported quote. "Now it's at least a hundred dollars a pound, probably. They debit it straight from your account when you show them your grocery ID."

The Threads post was reposted more than 700 times in two days.

More from the Fact-Check Team: How we pick and research claims | Email newsletter | Facebook page

Our rating: False

Trump criticized President Joe Biden and Vice President Kamala Harris for their handling of inflation at an Aug. 15 news conference, but video of the event shows he didn't say the quote in the post.

Post shares false quote from Trump's news conference in NJ

Trump attacked the economic record of the Biden-Harris administration at the campaign event Aug. 15 at his Bedminster, New Jersey, golf club, delivering remarks beside tables arranged with common grocery store items such as breakfast cereal, bread and milk.

"Grocery prices have skyrocketed," Trump said at the news conference, according to video of the event shared by C-SPAN . "Cereals are up 26%. Bread is up 24%."

Trump went on to list price increases for other grocery items since Biden took office, but he did not say the quote in the Threads post. Footage of the event shows Trump said nothing about purchasing cereal by the pound or using a "grocery ID." There are no credible news reports about him saying that or saying cereal is $100 per pound.

Fact check : Photo of crashed 'Trump train' truck is altered, dates back to 2015

The X post shown in the Threads post also did not include any corroborating evidence to support the claim.

Charts at the event showed price increases for certain food groups under the Biden-Harris administration. One chart showed cereal and bakery products were up 26%, for example.

That's in line with the change in the consumer price index for cereal and bakery products since January 2021, when Biden took office. U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics data collected by the Federal Reserve Bank of St. Louis shows a 25% increase for this food group from January 2021 to July 2024.

However, year-to-year inflation has eased since reaching a 40-year high of 9.1% in mid-2022 . Consumer prices rose 2.9% in the last 12 months through July , and wages have been growing faster than inflation.

The Threads user did not immediately respond to a request for comment.

Our fact-check sources:

• C-SPAN, Aug. 15, Former President Trump Holds News Conference at New Jersey Golf Club

Thank you for supporting our journalism. You can subscribe to our print edition, ad-free app or e-newspaper here .

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