essay topic single life

Essay on Single hood | Advantages & Disadvantages of Single Life

Single hood is a state of being alone, but it does not mean it is a bad thing. This essay explores the different aspects of singlehood, including the advantages and disadvantages of being single, the reasons why some people choose to remain single, and how society views single individuals.

Table of Contents

Essay on Single hood | Pros & Cons Of Single Life

Introduction
Defining Singlehood
Advantages of Singlehood
Disadvantages of Singlehood
Reasons for Choosing to Remain Single
Societal Attitudes towards Single Individuals

1. Introduction

Singlehood is a state of being alone or not being in a committed romantic relationship. While many people view singlehood as a negative thing, it is important to recognize that it is not necessarily a bad thing. Being single has both advantages and disadvantages, and it is a choice that many people make for various reasons. This essay explores the different aspects of singlehood, including the advantages and disadvantages of being single, the reasons why some people choose to remain single, and how society views single individuals.

2. Defining Singlehood

Singlehood can be defined in many ways, but it generally refers to being unmarried or not being in a committed romantic relationship. Some people may still date or have casual relationships, but they do not have a partner that they are committed to in the long-term. Singlehood can also refer to being alone, without any romantic relationships or close friendships.

3. Advantages of Singlehood

One of the biggest advantages of singlehood is the freedom it provides. Single individuals do not have to consider their partner’s opinions or feelings when making decisions, and they have more control over their own lives. They can pursue their own interests, hobbies, and goals without having to compromise with someone else. Being single also allows individuals to focus on their own personal growth and development, which can lead to greater self-awareness and self-confidence.

4. Disadvantages of Singlehood

While singlehood has its advantages, it also has its disadvantages. Single individuals may experience loneliness, especially during important life events such as holidays, birthdays, or weddings. They may also feel like they are missing out on the emotional and physical intimacy that comes with being in a committed romantic relationship. Additionally, single individuals may face societal pressure to be in a relationship or to settle down and start a family.

5. Reasons for Choosing to Remain Single

There are many reasons why some people choose to remain single. Some may prioritize their careers or personal goals over finding a partner. Others may have had negative experiences in past relationships and prefer to avoid the potential emotional pain that can come with dating. Still, others may simply enjoy being alone and find fulfillment in their own company. It is important to recognize that choosing to remain single is a valid choice, and individuals should not be pressured into entering into a relationship if it is not what they want.

6. Societal Attitudes towards Single Individuals

Despite the growing acceptance of singlehood in modern society, there is still a stigma attached to being single. Single individuals may be seen as lonely, selfish, or unfulfilled, and may face pressure from family and friends to find a partner. This societal attitude can be harmful to those who choose to remain single, as it can lead to feelings of shame or inadequacy.

In conclusion, singlehood is a state of being alone, but it does not necessarily mean it is a bad thing. Being single has both advantages and disadvantages, and it is a choice that many people make for various reasons. Society’s attitudes towards single individuals can be harmful, but it is important to recognize that choosing to remain single is a valid choice. Ultimately, it is up to each individual to decide what works best for them, whether that means being in a committed relationship or remaining single.

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An Ode to the Single Life

L overs of single life, it’s time to set yourselves free. Unshackle yourselves from those old, regressive stories that claim that single life is sad and lonely. Rise above those repressive notions that everyone wants a romantic partner and if you think you don’t, you’ll get over it, and if you don’t get over it, you need help. Gleefully reject the idea that putting a romantic partner at the center of your life is something you have to do, something that everyone wants, or that it is the normal, natural, and superior way to live.

I have a new story to tell you, about people who are powerfully drawn to single life. I call them “single at heart,” and I’m one of them. For us, single life is our best life. It is our most authentic, meaningful, and fulfilling life. It is a psychologically rich life. No other way of life will ever feel as profoundly satisfying. To us, living single is every bit as desirable as a committed romantic partnership is to people who are drawn to coupled life.

My own road to embracing my single life was unencumbered by worries about disappointing my mother. For the first 45 years of my life, she never said a word about my single status. In the seven years she lived after my father died, we occasionally traveled together, just the two of us, and we spent some holidays together. We talked about a lot of things, but she never pressured me to marry, not even subtly. I was proud of that. I thought it meant that she could see that staying single wasn’t an issue for me.

In the last conversation I had alone with her, as she lay dying, she brought up my single life for the first time. “I worry about you,” she said.

I don’t remember what I said in response, but I do remember that I was stunned and saddened. I wish she had understood that for me, and the millions like me, staying single was how I stayed happy and fulfilled. I wish I knew then what I know now and could have helped her to understand.

The truth is that being single doesn’t limit our lives—it throws them wide open. We have our freedom, and we use it to make the most of our resources and opportunities, however vast or meager they may be. We get to decide the shape and contours of our lives, from our daily routines to life-altering transformations. We get to pursue our interests and passions, without trying to refashion or resize them in ways that suit a romantic partner. We get to welcome into our lives anyone we want—friends, relatives, mentors, colleagues, lovers, neighbors, spiritual figures, pets, or anyone else—as many or as few as we like, with no pressure to elevate a romantic partner above all others. We can devote ourselves to our inner circle, our larger communities, our countries, and our causes, if that’s what we want to do. We create homes that are our sanctuaries. We have our sweet, sweet solitude. If we don’t want kids, no partner is going to pout. If we do have kids, we get to raise them as we see fit. We enjoy intimacy on our own terms.

The risk to people who are single at heart is not what we will miss if we do not put a romantic partner at the center of our lives, but what we will miss if we do. I will never say that it is OK to be single or that it is better to be single than to be in a bad romantic relationship. Those sentiments are far too grudging. For people like us, it is better to be single. Period.

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To the single at heart, single life is joyful. It doesn’t matter if we have had no past romantic experiences or plenty of them. It doesn’t matter if any such experiences were glorious, horrifying, boring, or a mixed bag. We are not single just because we are running away from something or because we have “issues” (everyone has issues). We are single because we love what single life offers and will continue to offer for as long as we commit to it and invest in it. For us, that’s forever.

Because we are embracing our single lives rather than trying to escape them, we develop strengths, skills, resources, and attitudes that are less often honed by those who lead a conventionally coupled life. The time, money, and emotional resources that some other people devote to their pursuit of a romantic partner and then bestow upon that partner if they find such a person, we invest in the experiences that make our lives meaningful and that can never be taken away from us by a divorce or any other casualty of coupling. We value our friends, rather than looking past them for the romantic partner who may be on the horizon or waiting for us at home. That pays off : The more we value our friends, the more fulfilling we find our single lives to be. We also savor the time we have to ourselves; because we are enriched by our solitude rather than fearful of it, we are especially unlikely to feel lonely .

Our years of investing in our single lives and embracing all that single life has to offer pay off along the way , but the investment comes to its ultimate, stereotype-shattering pinnacle later in life. We’ve been warned that we are going to end up decrepit, despondent, despairing, and oh so alone when we are old, but that’s not what happens. Studies show that people who have stayed single are especially likely to be thriving in later life.

Unlike the newly single, such as the divorced and widowed people who organized their lives around a spouse, the lifelong single people aren’t trying to figure out for the first time how to do the things their spouse used to do for them. They aren’t trying to create a social circle or an emotional support system anew; they have been doing that all along. A 2006 study of older people in the United States showed that the men and women who stayed single were most optimistic about the future, were most likely to have an active social life, and most likely to have the help they needed and the intimacy they wanted. Black Americans, who are the targets of so much moralizing and shaming for their relatively low rates of marrying, were especially likely to be living a fulfilling life in their old age if they had never married. An 2006 Australian study of more than 10 thousand women in their 70s found that the lifelong single women without children were the most optimistic, least stressed, most altruistic, and had the fewest diagnoses of major illnesses, relative to the currently or previously married women, with or without children.

Contrary to stereotypes , single people keep getting happier and happier with their single lives as they approach middle age and head on to old age. Across the entire adult lifespan, the single people who are not looking for a romantic partner are especially likely to find their single lives increasingly fulfilling, according to a study from 2021.

We who are single at heart realize that by committing to our single lives, we are bucking the relentlessly touted and celebrated cultural script that insists that what adults want, more than anything else, is a committed romantic partnership. We know what people think: that it’s fine to be single for a while, but to stay single forever is just sad, and that to want to stay single isn’t natural or normal.

Over the course of my lifetime, I’ve seen other bedrock beliefs pulverized. Is it abnormal to be attracted to people of your own gender? We know better now. Is a woman’s place in the home? Oh, please. Is it only natural for women to want kids? That doesn’t seem obvious anymore.

Each time our understanding of human nature becomes more expansive, we all become freer to live our best and most authentic lives. In the enlightened world that I envision, every child will understand, as a matter of course, that living single is a life path that can be just as joyful and fulfilling as any other—and for some people, the best path of all. Every adult will forsake forever the temptation to pity or patronize people who are single, and will instead appreciate the profound rewards of single life. Adults who are naturally drawn to single life will not be asked to defend that choice ever again. Millions of happy single people will realize that they are happy and thriving not in spite of being single, but because of it.

Adapted from Single at Heart: The Power, Freedom, and Heart-Filling Joy of Single Life , by Bella DePaulo.

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Literary Yog

Of Marriage and Single Life by Francis Bacon: Summary, Line by Line Explanation, and Theme

Table of Contents

“ Of Marriage and Single Life ” by Francis Bacon is a short essay where the author explores the advantages and disadvantages of married and single life. He starts the essay by highlighting a drawback of married life. Bacon says familial responsibilities can hold a man back from starting grand projects. A married man remains busy in fulfilling the needs of his family.

On the flip side, unmarried men are free and can dedicate themselves more fully to the well-being of society than married men. History shows us that many achievements have been made by the unmarried. However, some unmarried individuals are self-centered and are not concerned about others.

Single men want to be bachelor because they value freedom above all. They can be friends or masters or servants, but they can not be an ideal citizen.

While marriage has certain restrictions, it makes people humane and responsible. However, single people can be charitable. A wife contributes to a man’s life as a mistress in youth, companion in middle age, and caregiver in old age. Marriage offers a support system that a single life cannot provide.

In discussing the ideal timing of marriage, Bacon mentions that both young men and older men should not marry.

Through the discussion of the benefits and difficulties of being married or single, the essay suggests how these choices impact an individual.

Line By Line Explanation and Analysis

The limitations of married life.

A married man with a wife and children is a prisoner of luck. His familial responsibilities and commitments stop him from pursuing “great enterprise” (Bacon 81), either virtuous or harmful.

Enterprise refers to a big dream, which could be a new business or starting any major life-changing project. It can be virtuous or mischievous.

Virtue refers to noble and morally admirable action that contributes to the betterment of oneself and others. On the flip side, mischief means actions that are immoral or risky for one’s family.

This confinement has both negative and positive aspects. A married man cannot invest money and time for any noble purpose. He must prioritize their welfare, security, and needs above his desires.

Therefore, his married life confines him to the wheel of fortune. Conversely, his family duties also stop him from taking high risks that might affect the family financially or mentally. His family might save him from getting ruined.

So, after considering both sides, we can state married life is neither a limitation nor an advantage.

I think Bacon offers a generalized view of marital responsibility. Many married individuals, including those with children, have undertaken calculated risks and achieved significant success. Their families have been a source of support.

Today, with dual-income families and an equal sharing of domestic responsibilities, marriage might not affect someone’s chance to take on big projects. However, during the Elizabethan period, it was not usual for women to be the breadwinners.

Service to Public Life

Unlike married men, single men have historically been behind humanity’s noteworthy achievements. They have shared their talent and resources with the world and served humanity.

For instance, successful people Nikola Tesla, A. P. J. Abdul Kalam, Homi J. Bhabha et al. led a single lifestyle. Their bachelorhood allowed them to focus on their work that has benefited the society.

However, this statement of Bacon is a half-truth. Success is not entirely the domain of the unmarried. Figures like Srinivasa Ramanujan and Nambi Narayanan prove that marital status cannot limit success.

These examples above show that success does not depend on marital status. Dedication, a support system, and effective work-life balance management are among the factors that lead to this result.

The Responsibilities of Married Men

Married men remain busy building their family’s future. Their promises about “dearest pledges” (81) often occupy their mind.

The phrase “dearest pledges” (81) might refer to their valuable commitment to their children’s future. They are bound to ensure a better, secure future for their children.

Unlike them, single men can dedicate their lives to noble causes. Though Bacon praises the single lifestyle, he acknowledges that not all single men care for the well-being of their fellow human beings. They are self-centered and show little concern for future generations.

It shows the difference in mindset between those dedicated to societal betterment and those who are not.

Single Life as a Means of Prosperity

Some unmarried individuals consider having a wife and children as “bills of charges” (81). For them, family is only a financial liability. Some other greedy rich are prideful for not having kids, for they think their absence makes them seem wealthier.

They might have heard people saying, “That person is really rich” (81) and someone else adding, “Yes, but he has to spend a lot on his kids,” (81) as if the kids make him less rich.

Bacon marks a societal value that gives importance to material success above everything. This mindset sees having children as a barrier to increasing wealth.

Such a view ignores all the diverse, non-material benefits a family can offer, such as emotional and physical support.

The Benefit of Single Life: Freedom

The biggest reason for being single is liberty. Compared to single men, they enjoy greater independence. However, a single life is not for everyone. It is ideal for those who can please themselves and have a carefree outlook.

Single men value their freedom to the extent that they consider “their girdles and garters, to be bonds and shackles” (81). Girdles and garters are items of clothing used to hold up stockings.

It emphasizes how even a minor obligation or social restriction, which is symbolized by girdles and garters, makes them feel like actual physical tools of imprisonment: bonds and shackles.

Several psychological factors contribute to why some individuals dislike confinement. These factors range from personality characteristics and cultural influences to experiences. For example, individuals who experienced excessive control in their upbringing or previous relationships may be sensitive to any boundary.

The Drawback of Single Men

An unmarried man can be a best friend, master, or worker. An unmarried man has more time than a married man to invest in friendships and professional settings.

However, he cannot be a loyal citizen or reliable member of society because of his unpredictable nature. People who run away from societal responsibilities are usually single.

It implies unmarried men can not be uniformly reliable across all domains of their lives. He may not be equally committed to other responsibilities, such as following societal norms that may not align with his interests.

Therefore, the distinction lies in the personal choice and priority of commitments. In friendships and professional settings, commitments may be based more on interests and mutual benefits.

For whom Single Life is Ideal

Bacon discusses the suitability of a single life for various professions, including churchmen, judges, magistrates, and soldiers, and how marital status impacts their roles and responsibilities.

Single life suits religious leaders well because it allows them to dedicate themselves to their duties without distractions. This job requires dedication and plenty of time. Unlike them, a married religious figure might struggle to balance his duty and family responsibilities.

In the judiciary, marital status seems less relevant to job performance. But, if judges are corrupted, they will be much worse than husbands having a spouse who might distract them.

These servants prioritize private interests over justice, making them five times worse than an influenced husband.

Bacon’s view of a confined married man stems from the idea that married life distracts a man from focusing on notable public work. This perspective is outdated as it overlooks that both partners can be financially supportive of each other.

Family plays a crucial role in a soldier’s life in the military. Therefore, some generals charge the soldiers often up by reminding the image of soldiers’ families.

The prospect of uniting family after war makes them alive even in distressful situations. Their family connection reminds them of why they are fighting. It can increase their dedication and courage.

Conversely, generals implant hatred for marriage in Turkish soldiers. As a result, they have no emotional reason to fight without injury. It possibly makes them less effective compared to those with families.

Bacon observes that the undervaluing of marriage could make soldiers feel less motivated.

The impact of family ties on a soldier’s performance is just one aspect of motivators. Ideological commitment, nationalism, and personal honor are other motivators that can influence effectiveness in combat situations.

Moreover, the absence of a family does not make a soldier less motivated. Sometimes, it could even free a soldier from personal worries and make him more focused on their military objectives.

Why is Marriage Important?

According to Bacon, “Certainly wife and children are a kind of discipline of humanity” (82). Familial responsibilities teach individuals human values such as love, patience, and empathy.

Family life is a school of human values that shapes individuals into compassionate, lovable, and responsible members of society.

However, Bacon also acknowledges that single individuals can possess these virtues. They can be more charitable than married men because of their fewer expenses.

Many single men and women, including religious gurus, dedicate themselves to humanitarian causes. They often exhibit qualities like humanity in them.

Despite these virtues, some single individuals can be cruel. Similarly, not all married people show compassion and empathy. Thus, this suggests that virtues and flaws are not completely determined by marital status.

The absence of family and lack of experience of empathy, tenderness, and compassion in their lives might make them harsh.

Their hardhearted nature makes them suited for roles that require strict judgment, like that of an inquisitor. The term “inquisitor” (82) suggests a role involving rigorous inspection, where kindness in the method is not required.

Bacon notes that a serious person with good conduct is reliable and often makes him a loving spouse. Bacon refers to Ulysses as an example. In Cicero’s On the Orator , I, 44, it mentions Ulysses prefers “vetulam suam prætulit immortalitati” (82).

Goddess Calypso promised Ulysses immortality, but he has to choose between her and his wife. Instead of accepting the offer, he returns to Ithaca to meet his aging wife, Penelope (Pitcher 82n10).

His choice exemplifies that trustworthiness is foundational to a loving and lasting marriage.

Similarly, a chaste woman values her loyalty and considers her merit as a reason to be proud and bold. She will remain loyal and committed if she realizes her husband is wise.

In contrast, if her husband is jealous without cause, she thinks her husband does not have faith in her virtues. It can make her lose interest in him and eventually harm the relationship.

Bacon comments on the roles of a woman in different stages of a man’s life: “Wives are young men’s mistresses; companions for middle age; and old men’s nurses” (82).

In the days of youth, a wife is a source of pleasure for a man. Like a man-mistress relationship, passion is the most vital aspect of their relationship.

Emotional companionship becomes essential during middle age. A woman becomes a companion to share in his happiness and sadness.

In the last stage of life, a woman serves her husband.

This statement reflects the patriarchal mindset of the era, where a man’s needs and the stages of his life determine a woman’s role.

This view differs from the modern concept of marriage. In contemporary society, the values of marriage center on support, care, mutual needs, and respect between partners.

When Should One Marry?

A man has the autonomy to decide when to marry, though opinions on the best timing for marriage can vary. Regarding this matter, Bacon cites Thales of Miletus, who answered this question.

The sage of Greece said, “A young man not yet, an older man not at all” (82). He rejected marriage by telling his mother he was too young to marry. Late, when Thales of Miletus faced the same question, he said he was too old to marry (Pitcher 82n12).

It advises that a young man who cannot control his desires is not eligible for marriage. Marriage is not just about physical companionship, but also about building a friendship.

On this topic, Friedrich Nietzsche says in Human, All Too Human , “The best friend will probably get the best wife, because a good marriage is based on talent for friendship” (Nietzsche, 306).

Therefore, a young man should wait to mature emotionally before reaching a position where he can understand himself and his partner.

Similarly, an aged man whose youth has passed is also not an ideal candidate for marriage. He might have maturity, but he will lack the energy to keep the spark alive in a relationship. The complexities and responsibilities of marriage might not be worth undertaking after a certain age.

Bacon observes that bad husbands often have good wives, and there are two reasons.

First, if a husband rarely shows affection, any small act of kindness can become incredibly precious to his wife. Despite having a negative impression of her husband, she will cherish these moments of kindness.

Second, some wives might be prideful in their patience in difficult situations. Her pride in enduring a cruel husband could be a factor in why they continue the relationship.

Moreover, if such a husband is their choice, despite the warnings of their friends, they are often determined to justify their decision.

This determination can make them tolerate their husbands’ misbehavior more than they otherwise would. It suggests they are committed to their choice, possibly to avoid accepting they were wrong.

The theme of “Of Marriage and Single Life” is the benefits and demerits of both married and single lifestyles. Francis Bacon, in his essays like “Of Marriage and Single Life”, “ Of Truth ”, “ Of Friendship ”, “ Of Studies ” etc., balances the benefits of each subject with its drawbacks.

This essay also dives into the advantages and disadvantages of both single and married life.

The first benefit of single life is the freedom it grants for public service and personal advancement. Without familial duties, an individual can dedicate himself to serving humanity and engaging in noble pursuits.

On the other hand, family responsibilities impose conditions on taking risks and investing personally in new experiences. One has to prioritize the commitments to the family. So, a married person may find it challenging to invest time and effort into societal contributions or take risks that could impact the security of his family.

As argued above, this perspective oversimplifies the complexities of individual circumstances. This perspective suggests a single man has more time and freedom to advance his career.

However, it is not true that married individuals cannot achieve remarkable progress and make significant contributions to society.

Another benefit of being single is the freedom it brings. A single person has more independence compared to a married man.

For example, an unmarried person has the liberty to pursue activities that bring them joy without worrying about the impact on their family. Such an individual does not like any form of restriction that might limit their independence.

While a married person can enjoy similar freedoms, they often face restrictions or plans to fulfill their family responsibilities.

Financial stability is another area where single life frequently has an advantage. Without the expense of a family, a single individual may find it easier to manage his finances. In contrast, married life can have financial challenges.

Although it may be true in the Elizabethan era, today, women earn as much as men. Many working couples share financial responsibilities equally, which can mitigate some of the economic challenges. However, not all singles or couples are financially well-off.

In terms of social roles, single individuals can easily fit into roles as friends, masters, or servants, but they might not face the same level of responsibility as a married person does. Being married often means developing a sense of responsibility, as it requires considering the welfare of a family.

Being married comes with its own set of teachings. It teaches one to be humane and caring. While a single man might often be generous, he can also be harsh. It could be because they do not experience the care and affection that family life offers, which naturally softens a person’s character.

So, married people are more compassionate and better at socializing than those who are single. This difference highlights how the experience of family life can influence one’s emotional and social development.

Another benefit of married life is having a companion. Married individuals have a partner to share joy, sadness, success, and failure.

A single man might not always have someone close to share his deepest thoughts, feelings, or ideas. This lack of companionship can lead to loneliness. Therefore, a single life suits those who are self-satisfied and naturally humorous.

In conclusion, while some observations of Bacon might hold some truth in the context of his time, they do not universally apply. The ability to be charitable, kind, cruel, or self-disciplined does not depend on whether someone is married or unmarried.

Instead, it reflects an individual’s experiences and choices. Being single is not better than being married, and vice versa. While marriage may work well for some, it may not work for others.

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Of Marriage and Single Life

Of marriage and single life by francis bacon summary & analysis, more from francis bacon.

Single Life in the 21st Century: A Guide to Owning It

Single life is a good life that no longer counts as a revelation.

Posted June 22, 2019

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“It was a truth universally acknowledged that by age forty I was supposed to have a certain kind of life, one that, whatever else it involved, included a partner and babies.” But on the eve of her fortieth birthday, Glynnis MacNicol, author of the memoir, No One Tells You This , had no spouse and no children. She felt like a person “being marched to her demise.”

By the end of the book, MacNicol was “quite thrilled” with her life as a single woman with no kids. But it took her forty years before she ever “bothered to seriously question whether I actually wanted to be married with kids.”

Catherine Gray’s father started calling her a spinster when she turned thirty-three. That was devastating. A self-described “raging love-addict,” Gray used to believe, in all seriousness, that “being single means I’m broken, I’m worthless.” By the end of her memoir, The Unexpected Joy of Being Single , Gray still considers herself a romantic. But she has an insight that would have shocked her younger self: “I know I could be satisfied and happy as a forever-single.”

“I didn’t think I would face my fiftieth birthday without a partner, a family,” said Christina Patterson in her memoir, The Art of Not Falling Apart . “I used to think that being single was a kind of affliction, a shameful state that had been handed to me by fate,” she admitted. “It has taken me a very, very long time to realize that I’m probably single because I really like being on my own.”

To all three women, the understanding that single life can be a good life came as a revelation. But it shouldn’t be. Not anymore.

Staying Single for Decades Is Not Surprising – It’s How We Live Now

To be single in the twenty-first century is utterly ordinary. In the U.S., for example, there are nearly as many adults, 18 and older, who are not married as married. Of those unmarried Americans, close to two-thirds have never been married.

MacNicol and Gray were dismayed to be spouseless thirty-somethings. But being single in your thirties is a global phenomenon . Patterson got all the way to fifty and was still single. That’s becoming increasingly commonplace, too. A Pew Research Center report estimates that by the time today’s young adults in the U.S. reach the age of fifty, about one-quarter of them will have been single all their lives.

Single Life Is a Good Life – and It Is Getting Better All the Time

What it means to be single has changed dramatically. Marriage is no longer considered a marker of adult status . It is no longer regarded as essential to a fulfilling life . Fewer women than ever before need a spouse for economic life support. And it has been a good, long time since adults regarded marriage as the permission slip they needed to have sex without shame , to raise children, or to buy a home of their own.

Today, marriage is sold as the royal road to happiness . But that’s not true either. More than a dozen studies have shown that when people marry, they become no happier than they were when they were single, except occasionally for a short-lived blip in bliss around the time of the wedding. MacNicol, Gray, and Patterson described growing trepidation about their single status as the years ticked by. They needn’t have. In a study of thousands of adults between the ages of 40 and 85, those who stayed single became more and more satisfied with their lives as they grew older. People with partners did not experience such a clear upward trajectory.

The same study found that lifelong single people have also been doing better over time, historically. Between 1996 and 2014, single people’s descriptions of their lives grew increasingly positive. Again, for the couples, the results were less straightforward.

We are starting to understand why single life can be so fulfilling. People who stay single , social scientists have shown, typically have more friends and bigger social networks, and they do more to maintain their relationships with friends, relatives, neighbors, and coworkers than people who marry. They are especially likely to be there for people who need sustained help, such as their aging parents. They experience more personal growth , too.

Single women who have never had kids are meant to quiver in fear over the prospect of growing old alone, but they are the ones who have invested in their social circles, so typically, they are not alone. A study of more than 10,000 Australian women in their seventies discovered that the lifelong single women who had no kids were doing better in many ways than all of the other groups of women – the currently married and the previously married, with and without children. The single women were the most optimistic and the least stressed . They volunteered the most and they were the most highly educated. They also had the healthiest body mass index and were the least likely to be smokers or to be diagnosed with a major illness.

What Would It Mean to Own Your Single Life? A Few Approximations

I’m a social psychologist and a lifelong single woman, and I have been researching, writing, teaching, and speaking about single people for more than two decades. As much as I enjoyed the insights and the fine writing in the memoirs I’ve been describing, I have been yearning for something equal to the moment that is single life in the twenty-first century. I wanted to read the memoirs of single women who own their single lives.

Owning single life means going all the way. It is a full, affirming, unapologetic embrace of living single. I don’t want to hear platitudes of grudging acceptance, such as “it’s okay to be single” or “well, it is better than being in a bad relationship.” Spare me the deficit narratives that internalize all that is supposedly wrong with single life. And don’t tell me that you are just marking time until you finish your education or land a great job, and then you will find the perfect partner.

Sasha Cagen gave me some hope when she declared herself a “quirkyalone” in an essay in 2000 and in a 2004 book by that title. The quirkyalone, she explained, “inhabit singledom as our natural resting state…there is no patience for dating just for the sake of not being alone.” They “treat life as one big choose-your-own adventure.”

Single women loved Quirkyalone , the media was intrigued, and the concept enjoyed the pre- Twitter version of going viral. On February 14, 2003, International Quirkyalone Day was declared, and has been celebrated on the same day every year since.

Quirkyalone , though, never fully committed to lifelong singlehood . As hinted in the subtitle of the book, A Manifesto for Uncompromising Romantics , Cagen offered her readers an out. Although a quirkyalone is quirkyalone for life, she said, such a person isn’t necessarily single for life: “…when one quirkyalone finds another, oooh la la. The earth quakes.”

An empowering act for people who are stigmatized is to take a label used to shame them and reclaim it, as happened, for example, with the word queer. In 2015, Kate Bolick reclaimed spinster in the title of her memoir and cultural exploration, Spinster: Making a Life of One’s Own . Bolick lauded spinsters for designing their lives mindfully rather than defaulting to the prescribed formula of marriage and children. She profiled five pioneering women from the last century who lived unconventionally, calling them her “awakeners.” Spinster is chock full of affirming and tantalizing insights about spinsterhood then and now. Disappointingly, though, all five of the awakeners ended up marrying, and romantic relationships were featured a little too prominently in the stories of Bolick’s own life for Spinster to qualify as the memoir I had been craving.

Here It Is: The Memoir I’ve Been Waiting for

Now, finally, in the year 2019, I have found the writer of my dreams . She is Keturah Kendrick, author of the memoir and cultural critique, No Thanks: Black, Female, and Living in the Martyr-Free Zone . More consistently and compellingly than anyone else I’ve read, Kendrick owns her single life , her choice not to have kids, and every other major decision about how to live her life.

It didn’t take Kendrick four decades to figure out what she wanted. “I’d been clear about who I was ever since the moment the girls in my sixth-grade class, who had been discussing what they would name their future daughters, turned and waited for me to play this bizarre game with them.”

Show me a single woman who can’t quite accept her single life and I can predict where she will point her finger of blame. It is the fault of popular culture, she will say. The marriage plot starts in childhood with the fairy tales. It continues through the teen years and across the entire adult lifespan with novels, movies, TV shows, and love songs all touting romantic love as the answer, and the only true happily ever after. Who can resist?

Keturah Kendrick can resist. The Cosby Show spin-off, A Different World , inspired paroxysms of joy in its fans when Whitley left Byron at the altar to marry her true love, Dwayne Wayne. Kendrick, though, bemoaned what became of Whitley: “The woman who had just last season been entrusted to run someone’s political campaign while still in her twenties was now wringing her hands over failed attempts to make her mother-in-law’s prune cobbler.” Similarly, looking forward to episodes of Ava Duvernay’s Queen Sugar that had not yet aired, Kendrick declares her “hope that Nova will still be allowed to choose herself. Nova has already done the unthinkable: she has turned down a good black man. She has given no reason for doing so other than she did not believe this good black man would support the parts of her that she valued the most.”

How to Respond to Demands that You Justify Your Single Life

You can be the most enlightened woman in the world when it comes to owning your single life and urging others – including even fictional characters – to do the same, but that doesn’t mean that the people around you will nod in agreement. Many will instead insist on swooping in with their pity, their judgment, and their scare stories of what will befall you if you continue along your spouseless, childless path. You know what they are saying: Justify your life. Prove that your time on earth has value. Convince me that you are a contributing member of society.

Comparable demands are not imposed on married people. Marriage is itself a ticket to legitimacy.

One response to the indictment of your dignity is to live in a way that is as unassailable as a single life can be. Glynnis MacNicol did that. She did not have children of her own, but she was there for her single sister when she had her third child, even moving in for a while to care for the other two. She was also there for a friend who had a baby. She helped another friend move from one coast to another. MacNicol also left her own home in New York to live with her mom in Toronto toward the end of her mother’s life, when she had become incapacitated. When MacNicol wasn’t helping others, she was living her own life fully and joyfully. She did great work, spent quality time with her friends, and traveled on her own.

Kendrick opts for more direct responses to the doubts about her life and the digs that single people endure. Here is a sampling:

Don’t you want to be chosen?

“I am not married because I do not want to be. I am not married because I have not seen any iteration of the institution that inspires me to choose it. I am single because I am enough for me. A chance to get chosen neither motivates nor moves me.”

Don’t you want to build a life together?

“I did not fantasize about “building together.” I felt I already built (and quite well, too).”

If you never do have kids, won’t you regret it?

“How can I regret not having something I never wanted?”

You’re selfish.

Kendrick unpacked the selfish slur when a student proclaimed that Oprah was selfish for not having a husband or kids:

“The suffix ish is key. It suggests the word “as” or “like.” …If you are womanish, you are behaving as if you are a woman. If you are mannish, you are acting like an adult male who has a set of expected behaviors and actions dictated by culture and community. “So what about this ish when added to the root word self? It is my hope that my student examined the word she initially intended as a criticism of Oprah. “She is self ish . “She is acting like herself. “Oh, what a precious privilege.”

Still another possible response to the disapproval of your life choices is to fake it. Pretend, for example, that the idea of having kids is fascinating. Or at least make your lack of interest as palatable as possible. Kendrick tried that, but not for long: “I had stopped making any effort to censor my disinterest in raising children and frame my joy with being childfree in ways that made other people comfortable.”

Over time, the comfort was all Kendrick’s: “The great gift of aging is the ability to release yourself from responsibility for others’ reaction to you. The relinquishing of such burden comes with an additional prize: finding people’s disapproval or shock about who you are ridiculous.”

Owning Your Single Life: Other Ways and Other Times

No one memoir will ever capture all that owning single life can mean. For example, in the memoirs I’ve been discussing, the single women often found their joy in living alone, traveling alone, and sometimes living abroad on their own for significant stretches of time. Not so for Briallen Hopper. In the opening essay from her powerful collection, Hard to Love: Essays and Confessions , she makes an unapologetic “declaration of dependence.” She is single but has no interest in going solo.

To own single life fully, it is not enough to stand up only for yourself. It is also essential to acknowledge and honor all the different kinds of people who matter to you – people other than romantic partners. No one does so better than Hopper. Her deep, nuanced, and unromanticized explorations of friends, roommates, siblings, caregivers, and other members of our “found families” are perfectly attuned to the twenty-first century, when those people, rather than romantic partners, are at the center of so many of our lives.

Owning single life also means recognizing the women who lived unabashedly single lives long before we did. I’ve focused on contemporary single women, but in the 1800s, for example, Louisa May Alcott was already compiling a list of “all the busy, useful, independent spinsters I know,” explaining that “ liberty is a better husband than love to many of us.”

Fast forward to the twenty-first century, and now we have women such as Glynnis MacNicol authoring memoirs about single life. MacNicol is a brilliant, sophisticated writer living among the cutting -edge intellectuals and thought leaders of New York City, with opportunities to avail herself of ideas from around the world. And yet, she never once questioned whether she really did want a spouse or children until she was forty years old. Others such as Gray and Patterson believed for far too long that to be single and in your thirties was shameful. That is a failing of our times. It is a victory for the marriage fundamentalists who, for decades, have worked so hard and so systematically to make the case that the ideal way to live was to marry and have children. Their goal was to make that seem so self-evident that hardly anyone would even think to question it.

Keturah Kendrick said “No Thanks” to that agenda. For that, we should all be thankful .

[Want more? I’ve reviewed or discussed all 7 memoirs mentioned in this article, and many other books about single life. Click here .]

Bella DePaulo, Ph.D. , an expert on single people, is the author of Single at Heart and other books. She is an Academic Affiliate in Psychological & Brain Sciences, UCSB.

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Summary of Of Marrige and Single Life by Francis Bacon

Of Marriage and Single Life is an essay written by Sir Francis Bacon, a popular English philosopher and statesman. In “Of Marriage and Single Life”, Bacon has compared and contrasted the life of a married man with that of a single man, drawing a contrast between the two by highligting he merits and demerits of the institution of marriage as it prevailed in the society. First published in 1612, as a part of “ Essayes: Religious Meditations. Places of Perswasion and Disswasion. Seene and Allowed.” , this essay presents Bacon’s views and opinions on marriage and singlehood along with arguments and theories to support them. Famous for his prose and credited with inventing the essay form, Bacon sought these essays as a medium to express his philosophy on topics inspired by both public and private life of man. His style is quite argumentative and he rationalises each thought with ample justifications and logic.

Of Marriage and Single Life | Summary and Analysis

Bacon begins the essay by stating that the commitment of marriage renders a man incapable of pursuing any great deeds, whether good or bad, noble or wicked. The responsibilities of married life could prove it difficult for him to work towards achieving success. Marriage brings with it the burden of family; of wife and children, which acts as a deterrent for those who want to achieve great feats. History indicates that all the best works, especially those aiming towards public welfare and greater good of the society, have been undertaken by single men because only they, owing to absence of any other commitment in their life, are capable of complete devotion to the public. It seems that they, for all intents and purposes, have married the society which they aim to serve with utmost dedication.

Married men, especially those having children, harbour great care and concern for the future and direct all their efforts towards securing a better tomorrow for their family. The responsibility of taking care of the family provides them with the will and incentive to work with utmost sincerity and dedication towards securing a better future for their children.

There, however, also exist some single men who do not think much about anything apart from their own selves and display no concern towards the future. They work only for their own welfare and show no willingness to work towards making the society better for the generations to come.

Then there are others who think of family merely as a burden, an expense which they have to bear.

There also exist certain individuals, belonging to the rich category, who believe that not having children makes them wealthier and thus pride themselves on their lack of children. Such thoughts might be fuelled by their fear of distributing their riches amongst their heirs when they heard people comment that so and so is a great, rich man but has to bear the burden of children which might have caused these people to think of procreation as a hindrance to fortune.

However, Bacon says, the most common reason behind men choosing to be single is the freedom promised by a single life. Such men are averse to even the slightest restriction and thus, marriage, which brings with it various responsibilities and commitments, is not preferable to them. These unmarried men, liberated from any kind of commitment, prove to be the best friends, masters and servants. They, however, do not make for the best citizens due to their tendency to shun responsibilities and often turn out to be fugitives.

As per Bacon, single life is best suited to the members of the clergy as in absence of any personal commitments, they are able to serve the society with utmost dedication and commitment. As regards the men of justice- the judges and magistrates, marriage does not make much of a difference in their duties. They can choose to remain indifferent on this because if they themselves are corrupt and immoral, and lack sincerity towards their work, they are no less than an unmarried man. They should display honesty and responsibility in their dealings, regardless of their marital status. Even marriage cannot instil responsibility in such callous men. Bacon further comments that marriage, and family, prove to be a source of inspiration for the soldiers, who are often made to think of the safety of their wife and children as they fight battles. Marriage provides these soldiers an emotional support system that motivates them and gives them courage. This is why Bacon believes that the aversion of Turks towards marriage is the reason behind the barbarism of their soldiers.

Elaborating further on this, Bacon asserts that marriage is important to instil a sense of discipline among men and keep in check the wild, animalistic tendencies of their nature and impede their ruthlessness. Single men have the capacity to be more charitable since no one is dependent upon them, allowing them to engage in the welfare of others without any worry of providing for their wife and children. But despite this, they prove to be quite unsympathetic and ruthless in their behaviour, their kindness and empathy seldom being invoked in the absence of family to bring out their emotional and moral side. Thus, men who display sincerity and always abide by traditions make very loving husbands as can be seen in the case of Ulysses, the Greek hero who chose his wife over perpetuity.

Adding to this thought, he says that women often pride themselves on their chastity and are more likely to maintain this purity and obedience towards the relation of marriage if their husband too showers her with care and affection and refrains from any kind of jealousy. A wife serves many roles in a man’s life- in his youth she acts as his beloved, the object of his ardours, during his middle age she accompanies him as a faithful companion and in his old age looks after his wellbeing like a devoted nurse. Thus, women, and marriage, complete the life of men, providing for them at every stage of their life. Therefore, men should not shy from marriage but rather welcome it by choice. Bacon however agrees that it is a daunting task to determine the correct age to get married and sees this as a very difficult question to answer. He nevertheless attempts to answer it by quoting a wise man who said that while a young man should not rush to marry, the old men should refrain from marrying at all, suggesting perhaps that one should keep in consideration all the pros and cons of marriage before making his decision. Bacon further remarks that it is seen that men who have very good wives, are often quite cruel themselves. They fail to appreciate the generosity of their wives and do not value their commitment to them. Owing to this insensitivity displayed by them, the wives start to value even the meanest of their efforts. They find satisfaction with whatever small bit of love they show and take pride in their forbearance of their husband’s bad behaviour. Having said that, Bacon states that if they were to be given the freedom of choice, these men would surely try to make amends and mend their ways. While Bacon shares the gender bias of his era, he also seems to be aware of the unequal power relations between men and women of his age.

Overall, Bacon has very beautifully put forth his opinions on marriage, citing its pros and cons, and has succeeded in establishing a juxtaposition between married and single life. The language used is very sophisticated and all the thoughts expressed in this prose have been supported with adequate arguments and reasoning, as is characteristic of Bacon’s style. Covering all the facets of the topic, he presents a well-balanced and holistic view on it.

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Table of contents.

Of Marriage and Single Life by Francis Bacon

HE that hath wife and children hath given hostages to fortune; for they are impediments to great enterprises, either of virtue or mischief. Certainly the best works, and of greatest merit for the public, have proceeded from the unmarried or childless men; which both in affection and means have married and endowed the public. Yet it were great reason that those that have children should have greatest care of future times; unto which they know they must transmit their dearest pledges. Some there are, who though they lead a single life, yet their thoughts do end with themselves, and account future times impertinences. 1 Nay, there are some other that account wife and children but as bills of charges. Nay more, there are some foolish rich covetous men, that take a pride in having no children, because they may be thought so much the richer. For perhaps they have heard some talk, Such an one is a great rich man, and another except to it, Yea, but he hath a great charge of children; as if it were an abatement to his riches. But the most ordinary cause of a single life is liberty, especially in certain self-pleasing and humorous 2 minds, which are so sensible of every restraint, as they will go near to think their girdles and garters to be bonds and shackles. Unmarried men are best friends, best masters, best servants; but not always best subjects; for they are light to run away; and almost all fugitives are of that condition. A single life doth well with churchmen; for charity will hardly water the ground where it must first fill a pool. It is indifferent for judges and magistrates; for if they be facile and corrupt, you shall have a servant five times worse than a wife. For soldiers, I find the generals commonly in their hortatives put men in mind of their wives and children; and I think the despising of marriage amongst the Turks maketh the vulgar soldier more base. Certainly wife and children are a kind of discipline of humanity; and single men, though they may be many times more charitable, because their means are less exhaust, yet, on the other side, they are more cruel and hardhearted (good to make severe inquisitors), because their tenderness is not so oft called upon. Grave natures, led by custom, and therefore constant, are commonly loving husbands, as was said of Ulysses, vetulam suam prætulit immortalitati [he preferred his old wife to immortality]. Chaste women are often proud and froward, as presuming upon the merit of their chastity. It is one of the best bonds both of chastity and obedience in the wife, if she think her husband wise; which she will never do if she find him jealous. Wives are young men’s mistresses; companions for middle age; and old men’s nurses. So as a man may have a quarrel 3 to marry when he will. But yet he 4 was reputed one of the wise men, that made answer to the question, when a man should marry,—A young man not yet, an elder man not at all. It is often seen that bad husbands have very good wives; whether it be that it raiseth the price of their husband’s kindness when it comes; or that the wives take a pride in their patience. But this never fails, if the bad husbands were of their own choosing, against their friends’ consent; for then they will be sure to make good their own folly.

86 Meaning of Life Essay Topic Ideas & Examples

🏆 best meaning of life topic ideas & essay examples, 📌 simple & easy meaning of life essay titles, 👍 good essay topics on meaning of life, ❓ essay questions about meaning of life.

The Meaning of Life by Richard Taylor Among the seekers of the sense of life was the American metaphysician Robert Taylor, whose essay “The Meaning of Life” addresses the title issue in a thought-provoking way that involves a negative proof: in his […]
Creating the Meaning of Life Schnell and Steger, Frazier, Oishi and Kaler observed that one critical aspect of the well-being of people in the society, which comes out in the humanistic theories that are utilized in counselling psychology, is people’s […]
Importance of Training Mind to Find Happiness and Meaning of Life According to Buddhist thinking, mind training “…is training in stability in order to “reveal the mystery” of the ultimate nature of reality, our own and that of other phenomena”.
The Wisdom of Silenus: The Meaning of Life & Death When thinking about this idea, it is difficult to take any specific point of view about it because the meaning of life primarily lies in the process of a lifetime; making any goal the meaning […]
Philosophy and the Meaning of Life The protagonist travels to the Himalayas mountains, where he meets a sage he believes has answers to the meaning of life.
The Meaning of Life on One’s Story In general, Barthelme’s story explains the meaning of life through death. Barthelme’s description is therefore unique, although it could as well be understood that his view on the meaning of life ends with death.
Woody Allen and Leo Tolstoy on the Meaning of Life: Pessimism vs. Optimism Whereas Tolstoy has written a highly literary examination of a wasted life from a Christian perspective, God is a farce in which the characters are named after diseases, the play moves haphazardly from Athens to […]
Will’s Role in the Meaning of Life Such an assumption actually sounds reasonable if we reconsider the fact of our very existence and admit that an individual is only a container for the Will, which is the true representation of the human.
The Meaning of Life: Philosophical Approaches In this way, the author wants to show that the source of meaning lies within the individual perception of a person.
Christianity and Islam: Service to God and Afterlife The structure of this paper analyzes the service to God and the perception of the afterlife, as highlights of the differences and similarities about the Christian and Islamic perceptions of life.
Euthanasia and Meaning of Life The meaning of life is the most general aspect of judging about the requirements that must be set out by laws and people’s morals in regarding to the voluntary or involuntary taking of that life.
“What Is the Meaning of Life?” in the Works of Gilgamesh and Agamemnon Trying to answer the question ‘what is the meaning of life?’ has been one of the hardest tasks for humanity. One readily gets attempted to ask the question, ‘is life meant to have a bitter […]
Journeys: Meaning of Life and Inner Journey
Soapstone: Meaning of Life and Daffodils
The Meaning Of Life in Hinduism, Christianity and Islam
Mortiz Schlick: the Meaning of Life in Play
The Use of Psychoanalysis as a Way to Understand the Meaning of Life and Death
The Nature And Meaning Of Life
Perspectives of the Real Meaning of Life: Philosophical, Scientific, and Literary
Philosophy, Truth, And Nature And Meaning Of Life
Self-concept: Meaning of Life and Ideal Self
The Difficulty Finding the Meaning of Life
Popular Beliefs About the Meaning of Life
Terrorism: Meaning of Life and Oxford University Press
The True Meaning of Life in The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time, a Novel by Mark Haddon
The Question of God: C.S. Lewis and Sigmund Freud Debate God, Love, Sex and the Meaning of Life
Religion, By Sean Carroll ‘s The Meaning Of Life
The True Meaning Of Life While Absorbing Nature ‘s Grace
The Search For the Meaning of Life in The Last Gentleman by Walker Percy
The Meaning of Life and Death Since the Beginning of Time in the Poem Auto Wreck by Shapiro
Literature As An Inquiry Into The Meaning Of Life
Religious Philosophies and the Meaning of Life
The Meaning Of Life And Death In The Death Of Ivan Ilych
The Meaning Of Life Through The Eyes Of Ivan Denisovich
The Purpose and the Meaning of Life in the Philosophy
Meaning of Life and Literary Metaphorical Descriptions
The True Meaning Of Life And Death
Wild Understanding of the Meaning of Life
Logotherapy: Meaning of Life and Frankl
Plato’s Definition of the Meaning of Life in Plato’s Famous Five Dialogues
Philosophy: Meaning of Life and Worthwhile Life
The Meaning of Life in The Stranger by Albert Camus
The Meaning Of Life In William Shakespeare’s Hamlet
The Theme of Finding the Meaning of Life in the Epic of Gilgamesh
The Myth Of Sisyphus And The Meaning Of Life
The Myth Of Sisyphus In Albert Camus’s The Meaning Of Life
How Do We Determine What The Real Meaning Of Life Is
The Meaning of Life in Tolstoy’s Ivan Ilyich and Kafka’s Metamorphosis
The Day Dostoyevsky Discovered the Meaning of Life in a Dream
Philosophy Meaning Of Life Essay Yorku Meaning Of Life
The Idea of Death and the Meaning of Life
The Simpsons, Hyper Irony, And The Meaning Of Life
Religion: Meaning of Life and Karen Armstrong
Leo Tolstoy’s ‘Death of Ivan Ilych’ & The Meaning of Life
The Meaning Of Life In Walt Whitman’s Song Of Myself
Remembering Aaron Swartz: David Foster Wallace on the Meaning of Life
Tess of the D’Urbervilles and Her Failure to Find the Real Meaning of Life
Margins: Meaning of Life and Frazier
The Meaning Of Life In Robert’s Frosts Birches And Pablo Neruda’s Tonight I Can Write
The Constant Search for the Meaning of Life as Evidenced in Literature
What Does Meaning of Life Mean in Philosophy?
What Does Shakespeare Tell Us About the Meaning of Life in the Play “Hamlet”?
What Did Plato Say About the Meaning of Life?
Is the Existence of God Necessary for Meaning of Life?
How the Joy of Handwriting Helps Us Draft the Meaning of Life?
What the Sahara Desert Taught Saint-Exupéry About the Meaning of Life?
What Are the Effects of Future Time Perspective on Meaning of Life?
What Is the Categorization of College Students’ Meaning of Life?
What Are the Approaches to Measuring Meaning of Life?
How the Meaning of Life and Existentialism Are Connected?
What Does Meaning of Life Mean in a Cosmological Perspective?
Is the Meaning of Life in Global Perspective Also the Meaning of Death?
What Is the Meaning of Life Intervention for Patients With Advanced-stage Cancer?
Why Does the Term “Meaning of Life” Belong to Abstract Terms?
What Eminent People Have Said About the Meaning of Life?
What Is the Relationship of Social Support and Meaning of Life To Suicidal Thoughts?
How Does Technological Unemployment Impact the Meaning of Life?
What Are Karl Jaspers’ Conceptions of the Meaning of Life?
What Is an African Approach to the Meaning of Life?
Do Hope and Meaning of Life Mediate Life Satisfaction Among Latinx Students?
Why Has the Question of the Meaning of Life Arisen in the Last Centuries?
How Women’s Spirituality Is Connected With the Meaning of Life?
What Are the Hospice Patients’ Reflections on the Meaning of Life and Death?
What Are the Components of Meaning of Life in Elderly?
Is the Existence of God Relevant to the Meaning of Life?
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Home — Essay Samples — Life — Single Parenting — My Mom Is a Single Parent: Personal Experience

My Mom is a Single Parent: Personal Experience

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A personal essay is an essay about your life, thoughts, or experiences. This type of essay gives readers a glimpse into your most intimate life encounters and lessons. There are many reasons you may need to write a personal essay, from a simple class assignment to a college application requirement . You can use the list below for inspiration. Consider each statement a starting point, and write about a memorable moment that the prompt brings to mind.

Your bravest moment
How you met your best friend
What makes your mom or dad special
How you overcame a fear
Why you will succeed
Why you made a difficult choice
A special place
A place you try to avoid
When a friend let you down
An event that changed your life
A special encounter with an animal
A time when you felt out of place
An odd experience that didn't make sense at the time
Words of wisdom that hit home and changed your way of thinking
A person you don't like
A time when you disappointed someone
Your fondest memory
A time when you saw your parent cry
The moment when you knew you were grown up
Your earliest memory of holiday celebrations in your home
Times when you should have made a better choice
A time when you dodged a dangerous situation
A person you will think about at the end of your life
Your favorite time period
A failure you've experienced
A disappointment you've experienced
A surprising turn of events
What you would do with power
What superpower you would choose
If you could switch lives with someone
How money matters in your life
Your biggest loss
A time when you felt you did the wrong thing
A proud moment when you did the right thing
An experience that you've never shared with another person
A special place that you shared with a childhood friend
A first encounter with a stranger
Your first handshake
Where you go to hide
If you had a do-over
A book that changed your life
Words that stung
When you had the desire to run
When you had the urge to crawl into a hole
Words that prompted hope
When a child taught you a lesson
Your proudest moment
If your dog could talk
Your favorite time with family
If you could live in another country
If you could invent something
The world a hundred years from now
If you had lived a hundred years earlier
The animal you'd like to be
One thing you'd change at your school
The greatest movie moment
The type of teacher you would be
If you could be a building
A statue you'd like to see
If you could live anywhere
The greatest discovery
If you could change one thing about yourself
An animal that could be in charge
Something you can do that robots could never do
Your most unfortunate day
Your secret talent
Your secret love
The most beautiful thing you've ever seen
The ugliest thing you've seen
Something you've witnessed
An accident that changed everything
A wrong choice
A right choice
If you were a food
How you'd spend a million dollars
If you could start a charity
The meaning of color
A close call
Your favorite gift
A chore you'd do away with
A secret place
Something you can't resist
A hard lesson
A visitor you'll never forget
An unexplained event
Your longest minute
An awkward social moment
An experience with death
Why you'll never tell a lie
If your mom knew, she'd kill you
A kiss that meant a lot
When you needed a hug
The hardest news you've had to deliver
A special morning
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110 Personal Essay Topics

Though written from a lived experience, personal essay topics can be tricky to come up with because they have to be universal enough for other people to relate to.

Since the skill of writing a good essay is being able to paint an image with words, students must choose a topic that will get others interested in the story and what it has to say about life, society, or themselves.

In essence, personal essays are written from a personal point of view and express a writer’s own insights, opinions, and feelings on a particular topic. Additionally, these types of essays lead to an overall point, lesson, realization, or revelation.

Most commonly, personal essays are written by high school students as part of their college applications. However, there are many other reasons that a personal essay may be assigned or written, including:

Scholarship applications
Job interview
Writing contest
Grad school admission

Students and others struggling with a valuable personal essay topic can choose from any of the 110 personal essay topics on this list to help them get started.

How to Write a Personal Essay

Writing a personal essay requires following traditional essay guidelines, structure, and format. However, you must ensure that your essay is personal and tells a story about yourself rather than being purely academic.

For instance, you might explain an experience that changed your worldview or share an opinion on something important to you, even if it’s controversial.

It’s often helpful to make a list of experiences you may want to share before starting the writing process.

If you’re struggling with writing your personal essay, you can order one from the professional writers at Write My Essays or hire a tutor at Wyzant to ensure it meets all requirements and effectively tells your story.

Introduction

The introduction to your personal essay will set the scene for the reader. Therefore, your personal essay needs to start with a compelling hook that will draw the reader in and make them want to read more.

This hook statement could be a humorous or poignant anecdote related to your topic or a line of questioning that the reader will be interested in following. For example, some possible opening lines for a personal essay could start with:

“I remember exactly where I was when I first realized …”
“What would you do if you knew the world was going to end tomorrow?
“So, I once had this problem …”

These beginning lines will often create questions in the reader’s mind, which is an excellent way to capture their interest and keep them reading. Following this initial opening sentence, you can introduce other details as you build up the main point of the story.

Your introduction should end with a thesis statement that verbalizes the general direction the story will go.

Body Paragraphs

Generally, a personal essay will have no less than three body paragraphs that detail your experience in chronological order. Each section should discuss one part of the story, including the events leading up to it, what happened during the experience, and what you learned from it.

Body paragraphs may also include examples of feelings, emotions, or arguments that support your experience. The goal of a personal essay is to share a compelling story and teach the reader something about life or themselves by using specific details and language.

Consider this formatting when creating the body paragraphs of your personal essay:

1st Paragraph

Beginning of the story that answers questions related to “Who?” and “Where?”
Initial attitudes, moods, feelings, and assumptions about the event or experience about to take place

2nd Paragraph

Middle of the story
Details that show how the situation evolved over time, including any changes in mood or assumption on your part

3rd Paragraph

Ending of the story/resolution
The final analysis on overall feelings, emotions, and mood

By sticking to this formatting for the body paragraphs, students can ensure that they are telling the story correctly and including every key detail as it happens.

Conclusion Paragraph

The conclusion of a personal essay is optional and depends on what you want to accomplish with the telling of your story. If you want to leave the reader feeling inspired or emotionally moved, then focus on summarizing the main points in a short paragraph that ends on a positive note.

However, if this was a darker story, you may want to use the concluding paragraph to sum up your feelings after the experience has ended or explore any unanswered questions that remain.

In any event, your conclusion does need to include an overall moral or lesson of how the writer:

overcame hardship
rose to the occasion
identified new traits or abilities that they never realized existed
turned defeat into success
followed their instincts and made the right choice
came to appreciate something about life after the experience took place

Any of these statements can stand alone as a powerful lesson learned. However, when combined in one concluding paragraph, you will leave your reader with a profound impression.

Using any of these 110 personal essay topics will ensure that you have a strong and interesting story to tell.

Personal Essay Topics About Relationships

What was a time when you made a friend?
What would your worst enemy say about you?
Talk about the death of a friend.
How did it feel to be bullied in school?
The time when you had to get along with a sibling despite being different ages
What you learned from your first relationship
Why marriage isn’t important to you
How you discovered polyamory, and how it changed your view of relationships
How your best friend made you a better person
The lesson you learned from being catfished
The first time you experienced heartbreak
A funny story about how technology ruined a relationship.
How did you learn to recognize love?
Who would you consider your soulmate? What makes them that person specifically for you?
What was your most embarrassing moment as a boyfriend or girlfriend, and what did you learn from it?

Personal Essay Topics About Hardships

The worst thing that ever happened to me
The roughest time in my family’s life
The hardest challenge I’ve ever had to overcome
How did you deal with the stress of moving?
What was your most embarrassing moment as a kid?
What are some reasons that I am grateful for my disability/illness/condition?
When have you had an “Aha!” moment in life?
What’s something terrible that happened to you that turned into something good?
What’s the biggest lesson I’ve learned from my failures?
The time when it almost felt like the world was against me
How did I handle/recover from a severe illness/injury/accident?
When was the first time I realized that life isn’t fair?
What was the biggest struggle I went through in my teens?
The most challenging situation I faced in high school
When was a time when I made a negative impact on someone else?
The first time I got caught stealing
The most embarrassing mistake I ever made with money
What was the most challenging thing about getting sober/clean/overcoming addiction?
When did I realize that life is short and that nobody is promised tomorrow?
How did you learn to persevere through tough times?

Personal Essay Topics About Success & Achievements

Best moment in my sports career
My greatest success story
The time I overcame my fear and found strength I didn’t know I had.
What’s the happiest day of my life?
How did I learn to overcome failure?
The time I knew that dreams really do come true
My greatest triumph over adversity – and what it taught me about myself.
What made you realize that you have to work hard in order to achieve something meaningful in life?
When did I know that I had made it in life?
When was the first time you were acknowledged for your achievements?
The night when my hard work truly paid off
My most powerful moment after overcoming a setback
How did I become successful?
What are some defining moments in my career?
How did I make it through a difficult time in college/university?
What motivated me to become the person I am today?

Personal Essay Topics About Personal Growth & Self-Reflection

Whose lifelong encouragement helped make me who I am today
The first time I took responsibility for my own actions
What gave me the courage to be myself?
The most valuable life lesson I’ve ever received. Who taught it to me, and what was the context?
How did I get through a difficult childhood/adolescence/teenage years?
What did I learn from becoming a yoga master?
How has meditation helped me overcome anger issues?
How did I recover from using drugs and alcohol?
What’s the biggest lesson I’ve learned from quitting my job?
When did I realize that life is too short to hate someone?
The moment when I knew it was time for a change
I made a mistake – and this is how I bounced back
How did I overcome depression/anxiety/mental illness?

Personal Essay Topics About Passions & Hobbies

How did learning a skill change my life?
Why exercise makes me a better person
My passion for writing
What’s the best advice I’ve ever received? Who gave it to me, and in what situation?
The moment when I realized my true calling in life
The importance of keeping a journal and how it has helped me become a better person
My biggest bucket list dream and why it’s so important to me
What is my vision for the future?
How did I find peace, contentment, and happiness?
The time when I truly lived outside of my comfort zone
When was the moment when I felt like I “got” meditation?
My journey towards becoming vegan. What inspired me to make this change, and what were the challenges I faced?
What lessons have been easy for me to learn, and which ones have been harder?
The time when travel changed my life

Personal Essay Topics About Challenges & Failures

The low point of my life and how I got through it
How did an illness/injury/death in the family affect me?
Why did I decide to stop going on blind dates?
What were the consequences of losing my temper, and how did I make amends?
The time when I was broken. What happened, who got hurt, and how did it affect me? How did I overcome this experience?
When was the moment when I realized that my words carry weight?

Personal Essay Topics About Family & Childhood Memories

The time when my family showed me what unconditional love means
My most vivid childhood memory and how it has affected me as an adult
How did I learn to be patient and kind?
What was the moment that sparked a change in my life? What caused this change, and what happened after the changes took place?
The moment when I realized the true meaning of friendship
What lessons did growing up teach me about life?
My childhood dream and what it taught me about myself
How do I feel about my hometown after living in three different places?
Why is it important to visit your birthplace/hometown during holidays/vacations?
My family’s most influential life lesson and how it has affected me
What was the moment when I realized that my parents had their own struggles?
The time when I learned about my family history. What happened, why did this happen, and how did it affect me? How did things change after this event?
What do I know about family traditions now that I didn’t understand as a child?
Why are your family memories vital to you?

Personal Essay Topics About Cultural Heritage & Identity

What does being bilingual/multilingual mean to me? Why is it unique?
My first interaction with someone from another culture
What’s wrong with cultural appropriation, and how did I learn to stop?
The moment when I became aware of my race/ethnicity
My culture’s most influential life lesson and how it has affected me
How I learned to not be afraid of my cultural differences
Why is diversity important in my community? In what ways do I contribute?
The moment I realized that I am proud of my culture
How has the immigrant/refugee experience shaped who you are today?
How traditions have changed the way I view my family

Personal Essay Topics About Childhood Dreams & Aspirations

What were my childhood dreams, and how have they changed over the years?
How did I make peace with the fear of growing up?

Any of these 110 personal essay topics are perfect for students struggling to find a topic that will impress a college admission officer or any other person with whom you’re trying to connect with on a personal level through storytelling.

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Generate topic ideas for an essay or paper | Tips & techniques

Generate Topic Ideas For an Essay or Paper | Tips & Techniques

Published on November 17, 2014 by Shane Bryson . Revised on July 23, 2023 by Shona McCombes.

If you haven’t been given a specific topic for your essay or paper , the first step is coming up with ideas and deciding what you want to write about. Generating ideas is the least methodical and most creative step in academic writing .

There are infinite ways to generate ideas, but no sure-fire way to come up with a good one. This article outlines some tips and techniques for choosing a topic – use the ones that work best for you.

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Understanding the assignment, techniques for generating topic ideas, tips for finding a good idea, other interesting articles.

First, you need to determine the scope of what you can write about. Make sure you understand the assignment you’ve been given, and make sure you know the answers to these questions:

What is the required length of the paper (in words or pages)?
What is the deadline?
Should the paper relate to what you’ve studied in class?
Do you have to do your own research and use sources that haven’t been taught in class?
Are there any constraints on the subject matter or approach?

The length and deadline of the assignment determine how complex your topic can be. The prompt might tell you write a certain type of essay, or it might give you a broad subject area and hint at the kind of approach you should take.

This prompt gives us a very general subject. It doesn’t ask for a specific type of essay, but the word explain suggests that an expository essay is the most appropriate response.

This prompt takes a different approach to the same subject. It asks a question that requires you to take a strong position. This is an argumentative essay that requires you to use evidence from sources to support your argument.

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Getting started is often the hardest part. Try these 3 simple strategies to help get your mind moving.

Talk it out

Discussing ideas with a teacher, friend or fellow student often helps you find new avenues to approach the ideas you have and helps you uncover ideas you might not have considered.

Write down as many ideas as you can and make point form notes on them as you go. When you feel you’ve written down the obvious things that relate to an idea, move on to a new one, or explore a related idea in more depth.

You can also cluster related ideas together and draw connections between them on the page.

This strategy is similar to brainstorming, but it is faster and less reflective. Give yourself a broad topic to write about. Then, on a pad of paper or a word processor, write continuously for two or three minutes. Don’t stop, not even for a moment.

Write down anything that comes to mind, no matter how nonsensical it seems, as long as it somehow relates to the topic you began with. If you need to, time yourself to make sure you write for a few minutes straight.

When you’ve finished, read through what you’ve written and identify any useful ideas that have come out of the exercise.

Whichever strategy you use, you’ll probably come up with lots of ideas, but follow these tips to help you choose the best one.

Don’t feel you need to work logically

Good ideas often have strange origins. An apple fell on Isaac Newton’s head, and this gave us the idea of gravity. Mary Shelley had a dream, and this gave us her famous literary classic, Frankenstein .

It does not matter how you get your idea; what matters is that you find a good one.

Work from general to specific

Your first good idea won’t take the form of a fully-formed thesis statement . Find a topic before you find an argument.

You’ll need to think about your topic in broad, general terms before you can narrow it down and make it more precise.

Maintain momentum

Don’t be critical of your ideas at this stage – it can hinder your creativity. If you think too much about the flaws in your ideas, you will lose momentum.

Creative momentum is important: the first ten in a string of related ideas might be garbage, but the eleventh could be pure gold. You’ll never reach the eleventh if you shut down your thought process at the second.

Let ideas go

Don’t get too attached to the first appealing topic you think of. It might be a great idea, but it also might turn out to be a dud once you start researching and give it some critical thought .

Thinking about a new topic doesn’t mean abandoning an old one – you can easily come back to your original ideas later and decide which ones work best.

Choose a topic that interests you

A bored writer makes for boring writing. Try to find an idea that you’ll enjoy writing about, or a way to integrate your interests with your topic.

In the worst case scenario, pick the least boring topic of all of the boring topics you’re faced with.

Keep a notepad close

Good ideas will cross your mind when you least expect it. When they do, make sure that you can hold onto them.

Many people come up with their best ideas just before falling asleep; you might find it useful to keep a notepad by your bed.

Once you’ve settled on an idea, you’ll need to start working on your thesis statement and planning your paper’s structure.

If you find yourself struggling to come up with a good thesis on your topic, it might not be the right choice – you can always change your mind and go back to previous ideas.

Write a thesis statement Make an essay outline

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If you want to know more about AI tools , college essays , or fallacies make sure to check out some of our other articles with explanations and examples or go directly to our tools!

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Watch a groom cry happy tears at a 3-letter word from his stepdaughter on his wedding day

A three-letter word from his stepdaughter brought Vincent to tears on his wedding day.

Vincent, who's also dad to four boys, had become a father figure to 7-year-old London, but she'd never called him "Dad." However, that changed at the reception following his wedding to her mom.

As they shared a father-daughter dance, London leaned in and whispered the word Vincent had longed to hear, and it melted his heart.

“There were no thoughts, just a rush of emotions,” Vincent said of that moment. After the wedding, he shared that his bond with London had completely transformed.

“London gave me a perspective I wasn’t equipped with,” he reflected. “Life has changed for me - I'm now more intentional about connecting with each of my kids individually and making sure I set an example I’m proud for them to follow.”

Watch the video above to see the moment Vincent's stepdaughter finally calls him dad!

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