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college essay joke

Funny Personal Statements: How to Use Humor in Your College Application

James Eimers

June 16, 2017

college essay joke

The Art of Writing Funny Personal Statements: How to Use Humor in Your College Application

When 650 words or fewer play a critical role in determining where you’ll pursue your degree, it’s hard to think of admissions essays as anything other than serious business.

With such a small space to give admissions officers a glimpse into who you are and why you’d be a great addition to a given school, it’s always tempting to paint a professional, straight-laced picture of yourself; after all, what school wouldn’t want a mature student highly focused on academic success?

Indeed, for some students, this might be a completely reasonable approach to the Common App personal statement . However, as with many things in life, there is no one-size-fits-all strategy when it comes to admissions essays, and it’s important to take a step back and recall their purpose. Test scores, grades, and letters of recommendation all play an important and informative role in the application process, but none allow you to present yourself in your own words—that’s the beauty of the admissions essays.

There are as many approaches and possible answers to essay questions as there are applicants, including those with a keen sense of humor. Admissions readers count on this because, aside from assembling an incoming class that meets the academic profile of their schools, they hope to admit interesting students with diverse talents who will enrich the educational and life experience of those around them. As a result, even though it feels a bit untraditional, letting your personality—including your sense of humor—shine through your essays can be an excellent way to create a memorable application.

Although humor can go a long way to demonstrating an applicant’s creativity and personality, this doesn’t mean that the approach will work for everyone. It actually can be a common personal statement mistake to try and use humor. Funny personal statements can definitely pack a punch, but they're difficult to do well. When writing what I call a “humorous/offbeat” admissions essay, there are a few key concepts to keep in mind.

Remember that humor itself should never be the main point of the essay. It’s perfectly acceptable to make your reader smile or even laugh out loud, but only in the course of telling a story that reveals something important about yourself. In other words, ensure that you use humor only as a device to highlight or enhance the underlying substance or reflective nature of your essay. Funny personal statements are effective only in showing the personal qualities of the writer at the same time.

You should never force humor into your essays, even when attempting funny personal statements . It is an unfortunate truth of life that making others laugh does not come naturally to all of us, so the offbeat/humor essay might not be an option for everyone. Admissions essays should indicate who you really are; forced humor that falls flat will indeed leave a memorable impression, but for all the wrong reasons.

When writing funny personal statements , the peer-review process becomes even more important than it already is. Humor is subjective by nature, so before clicking “submit” on your applications, make sure that a wide variety of people in your life (friends, parents, and teachers) have read your essays. If all your readers think your essay is appropriate and lighthearted, you’ve likely composed an essay with humor that will land well with an admissions office. If not, it might be time to go back to the drawing board.

When done correctly, f unny personal statements can be extremely effective. One of the best essays I’ve ever read followed this formula: Rife with stories about fanciful white lies he had told others over the years, this student’s essay at first seemed risky. Why reveal to an admissions office the fact that you have, at times, stretched the truth?

However, the student soon made it clear that stretching the truth in his younger days was in fact an early manifestation of his larger desire to tell stories—he wanted to study creative writing and ultimately become an author. His past storytelling revealed much about his creative character and also the fact that, although he had done quite well in school, he didn’t take himself too seriously while doing so. Ultimately, the student was admitted to a number of top schools.

I’ll leave you with some final tips to review when thinking about using humor in your admissions essays:

  • Stay away from potentially controversial topics—at best, you will demonstrate a lack of self-awareness, and at worst you might personally offend the admissions reader. Again, peer review your humor before submitting!
  • The humor should be original. By writing funny personal statements , you are illustrating the fact that you are a creative student with a good sense of humor—recycling humor falls short here.
  • You can use humor in many different types of essays, but remember that the humor should be added only after you already know what story you want to tell; humor alone should never be the substance of your essay.
  • Subtle humor can often make a stronger impression than can loud, straightforward humor.

Tags : applying to college , college application essay , college admissions essay , college personal statement , Personal Statement , essay , College

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Cardinal Education

How To Write: The Humorous Essay, for College Applications

There are all sorts of different essays that you can write for your college applications. The intellectual essay. The identity story. The tale of the underdog. Cardinal Education is here with a series on the different types of angles you’ll want to take in your writing. We’ll start with one of the most fun to write, yet one of the hardest to truly pull off: the humorous essay.

So, What Makes “Funny” Funny For College Admissions Officers?

There’s no doubt that funny essays can be wildly successful with admissions officers. The college application is all about showing off your personality, and what better way to show your personality off than by demonstrating that you know how to make a joke? Obviously, though, if you want to write a funny essay, it has to be funny. Here are our thoughts on how to achieve that.

Humor is so diverse and complex that there’s really no one way to define it. There’s self-deprecating humor, there’s slapstick humor, there’s wordplay, there’s satire, and more . Many will say that there’s no one formula to make something hilarious and that everyone has to find a way to be funny by themselves. While this is true to some extent, these are a few things that different styles of humor have in common:

Humor relies on the unexpected. This is the first thing that many will tell you in a how-to-be-funny guide: you can get your biggest laughs out of surprise twists and turns. Lead your audience to believe one thing will happen, then crack a joke about how the opposite actually occurred. Tell them how you expected a certain outcome, but something else happened and you couldn’t help but laugh. Or make a list where one of the items is not like the others. For example, things you learned while nature researching up North: the importance of biodiversity, the ability to work on a team, and…never leaving the house without an extra pair of socks. Think beyond simply telling a story to all the surprising things that happened along the way.

Humor is all about setup and delivery. Every punchline has a setup, and you’ll want to structure your narrative to set up for all the remarks you’re going to pepper through your piece. You don’t want to turn the whole thing into a joke after joke because then each one you write has less impact; instead, spend some time narrating the setups to your best punchlines in a way that makes them as—well—punchy as possible. Yet it’s not as though these narrations should be completely unfunny themselves. Think about the tone you’re trying to set, bring it ahead, and then yank the expectations right from under your readers’ feet.

Humor makes witty observations on the commonplace. This is part of the fact that it relies on the unexpected—it finds something new, fresh, and snappy to say about everyday things, from farming to fishing to the embarrassing moments that inevitably make up our lives. Poke some gentle fun at commonplace expectations and situations; stand-up comedians are experts at this. If you’re the type of person who can see something special in the mundane, admissions officers are sure to appreciate it.

Good humor punches up, rather than punching down. What is meant by this is that humor makes fun of those who are in a position of great power in society, rather than people who have relatively little power. You can joke about CEOs—that’s called satire—but not about janitors; that’s called classism. And you certainly can’t make jokes at the expense of students at your school that you don’t like—that’s called bullying. As you craft your essay, make sure to keep this in mind.

The Best Humor for College Essays Has a Point

Now you have a few pointers on how to write funny. You probably also have a few jokes in mind about your experiences. Once you start writing out what you’ve envisioned in your head, you then need to ask yourself: what is the overall point you’re trying to make?

This is the sort of thing that makes a lot of comedy great—it’s ultimately aimed at saying something deeper about society and about the way we do things. It would be good to learn from such comedy about how to tie your humor back to a deeper meaning behind it. Use your sense of humor to expose personal truths about what you’ve learned throughout the story of your journey. Use it to show admissions officers that you’re truly a better person, more ready for adulthood because of what you’ve discovered. If you can leave them in stitches while also leaving them with a profound takeaway, the beautiful picture you’ve created of yourself will be complete.

One Last Word of Advice: Don’t Force It

If you find yourself struggling too hard to write any of this, trying to force out jokes, then maybe the humorous essay is not your style. This essay can be a favorite at the admissions table if done right, but potentially disastrous if it’s not. Perhaps you’re not a natural comedian, and that’s perfectly fine. What matters most is that your essay reflects who you are on the page; maybe in our next installment of the How To series, you’ll find what’s best for you!

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college essay joke

68 College Jokes That Prove Higher Learning Is Hilarious

college jokes

You don’t have to have a college degree to find higher learning hilarious. There’s something universally relatable (and comical) about college students, dorm life, and everything else that’s wrapped up in getting an undergrad education. You’ve got your eccentric teachers . Everyone’s on a Ramen noodle diet . Students go to school in their PJs. The colleges jokes basically write themselves, don’t you think? And hey, it’s healthy to be able to laugh about it after the fact. Otherwise, your student loans might reduce you to tears.

RELATED: These College Supplies Are So Genius, You May Just Want Them For Yourself

So, if you are a college grad yourself, the following 60+ jokes and puns will probably make you look back on your college years and laugh your head off.

  • How do you know that you have been in college too long?

Your parents are running out of money!

  • Why did the sun skip college?

It already has a million degrees.

  • What did the buffalo say to his son when he left for college?
  • If pilgrims traveled on the Mayflower, what do college students travel on?

Scholar-ships.

  • College student: Hey, Dad — I’ve got some great news for you!

Father: What, son? College student: Remember that $500 you promised me if I made the Dean’s list? Father: I certainly do. College student: Well, you get to keep it!

  • Professor: Why do pimples make horrible prisoners?

Because they keep breaking out!

  • A new student at Harvard stopped an upperclassman and asked, “Where’s the library at?”

The upperclassman said, “Never end a sentence with a preposition. Cops do it on TV, but it isn’t proper, so to speak.” The new student said, “Pardon me. Where’s the library at, MORON?”

  • A history professor and a psychology professor were sitting outside at a nudist colony. The history professor asked: “Have you read Marx?” The psychology professor replied: “Yes. I think it’s from the wicker chairs.”
  • What do you call hiking U.S. college students?

The walking debt.

  • My local college has a program that lets students earn their tuition by working in the on-campus bakery.

The opportunity isn’t open to everyone. It’s run on a strictly knead-to-know basis.

  • I think college athletes should get paid to play sports .

Except Tennessee. They’re Volunteers.

  • When I told my family I graduated from clown college…

They all laughed at me.

  • Employer: Forget everything you learned in college. You won’t need it working here.

Potential employee: I never went to college. Employer: Oh, sorry. Unfortunately, you’re not qualified to work here.

  • Two high school graduates are discussing their future college plans.

The first says, “I’m planning on going into farming. It’s what my father did and it makes good money.” The second asks, “What type of farming? Wheat, corn, livestock?” “I don’t know, man; there are so many fields to choose from,” the third responds.

  • A buddy of mine went to college, majored in veterinary medicine, and minored in taxidermy. “Either way you’re getting your dog back,” he says.
  • What is a Gen Z’ers favorite college?
  • What do you call a test tube with a college degree?

A graduated cylinder.

  • My wife was disappointed to find out the real reason why my nickname in college was “The Love Machine.”

It’s because I sucked at tennis.

  • In college, I was so broke I couldn’t pay the electricity bill.

Those were the darkest days of my life.

  • My old girlfriend wanted me to do her college algebra homework for her.

But frankly, I didn’t want to solve for ex.

  • A college professor was very worried about his recent study on earthquakes.

It turns out his findings were on shaky ground.

  • My dad told me that colleges are cracking down on ghost-written essays?

I asked, “What about mummy-written essays?”

  • Why did the music note drop out of college?

Because it couldn’t pick a major.

  • What did Chuck Norris tell his father when he left for college?

“You’re the man of the house now.”

  • The dean of a college told the auditorium, “The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students, so too the male dormitory to female students. Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $20 the first time. Anybody caught breaking this rule the second time will be fined $60. Being caught a third time will incur a hefty fine of $180. Are there any questions?” At this, a student in the crowd raised their hand and asked, “Er… how much for a season pass?”
  • How many graduate students does it take to change a light bulb ?

Only one, but it may take them more than five years to do it.

  • An applicant was being interviewed for admission to a prominent medical school . “Tell me,” inquired the interviewer, “where do you expect to be ten years from now?”

“Well, let’s see,” replied the student. “It’s Wednesday afternoon. I guess I’ll be on the golf course by now.”

  • All the fraternity brothers left the house for a long weekend except for Grady, who decided to stay behind and get some studying done. One night Grady heard a noise under his bed. Fearing it might be a burglar, he leaned over and whispered, “Anybody there?”

“No,” said the burglar. “That’s funny,” the boy said to himself. “I could have sworn I heard a noise!”

  • A young man was putting himself through college as a waiter. When he gave one diner the bill, the diner asked, “What is the usual tip?”

“Well, this is my first day here, but the other guys say if I get a quarter out of you, I’ll be doing great,” the college student replied. “Is that so?” snorted the diner. “Well, just to show them how wrong they are, here’s five dollars.” “Thanks!” replied the student. “I’ll put this in my school fund.” “What are you studying?” asked the diner. The student smiled and said, “Applied psychology.”

  • A college student in a philosophy class was taking his first examination. On the paper, there was a single line that simply said, “Is this a question? — Discuss.”

After a short time, he wrote, “If that is a question, then this is an answer.” The student received an “A” on the exam.

  • One day a college professor, after getting irritated in his college class, stands up in front of the class and asks if anyone in the class is an idiot and, if there is one, then they should stand up.

After a minute, a young man stands up. The professor then asks that guy if he actually thinks he is an idiot. The boy replied, “No, I just didn’t want to see you standing there all by yourself.”

  • What is the definition of an optimist?

A college student who opens his wallet and expects to find money.

  • A linguistics professor was lecturing to his English class one day.

“In English, a double negative forms a positive,” he said. “In some languages, though, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. However, there is no language where a double positive can form a negative.” A voice from the back of the room said, “Yeah, right.”

  • How did the fraternity brother get a bump on his head?

He was attempting a keg stand.

  • A professor has a classroom filled with students about to take a philosophy finale. The only question on the test is, “Why?” All of the students begin to write feverishly. One student, however, writes, “Why not?” and leaves. The professor instantly give him an “A.”
  • What is the best way to save money during college?

Use Happy Hour as your main dining option.

  • Two parents were talking one day and asked the other what their son was taking in college. The one replied, “He’s taking every penny I have!”
  • Astronomy professor: What causes a half-moon?

College student: When you can’t get your jeans over your thighs.

  • What’s the difference between an American student and an English student?

About 3,000 miles.

  • What do you get if you cross a student and an alien?

Something from another universe-ity.

  • Chemistry professor: Now, class, here I have a beaker of H2SO4, and here I have a gold ring. Suppose I drop the ring into the sulphuric acid. Will the gold dissolve?

Student: No. Professor: Good. And will you please tell us why not? Student: If it would dissolve, you wouldn’t put it in.

  • In a way, colleges and insane asylums are both mental institutions. The major difference being you have to show some improvement to “graduate” an asylum.
  • A student comes back to the dorm & finds his roommate near tears.

“What’s the matter, pal?” he asked. “I wrote home for my parents to send money so that I could buy a laptop, and they sent me the laptop,” he moaned.

  • A father, passing through the son’s college town late one night on a business trip, thought he would pay a surprise visit to the boy. Arriving at the fraternity house, he knocked on the door. After several minutes of knocking, a sleepy voice drifted down from a second-floor window.

“Whattya want?” “Does Jimmy Duncan live here?” asked the father. “Yeah!” replied the voice. “Dump him on the front porch and we’ll take care of him in the morning.”

  • “How’s your song doing? Is he one of the bright young men in this area that is going to college on a scholarship?”

“No. He’s going to college on a second mortgage.”

  • A woman called the dean of the college that her freshman son was going to.

“I’m worried. I don’t know who my son can hang out with. He doesn’t have the kind of money all the other students have.” The dean replied, “Well then, he can hang out with the faculty.”

  • What did the music thief do in college?

Take notes.

  • What do you call a hotdog in college?

A FRAT-wurst.

  • What do cats major in college?

String theory!

50. How many fraternity brothers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That’s what pledges are for.

51. I want to reenact a scene from Fifty Shades of Grey . You know the one where she gets a job straight out of college?

52. High school graduates: You’ve just sat in a chair for 4 years. How would you like to do that again, but this time you pay for it?

53. When I was in college, my roommate used to clean my room and I used to clean hers.

We were maid for each other.

54. What form of art is very popular among college kids?

Ramen doodles.

55. My college roommate was obsessed with trying to discover the largest known prime number.

I wonder what he’s up to now.

56. In college, I lived on a houseboat and started seeing the girl next door.

Eventually, we drifted apart.

57. Thank you, student loans, for getting me through college.

I don’t think I’ll ever be able to repay you.

58. I can’t remember what I majored in at college.

I skipped classes to some degree.

59. In 2020, I’m finally making use of my college degree. What was it?

Mask communications.

60. I was so broke in college that I sometimes had to choose between laundry detergent and breakfast.

It was All or muffin.

61. Why do sorority girls walk in groups of three or five?

Because they ‘can’t even!

62. As a college girl, I never understood the whole Sorority thing

It’s all Greek to me.

63. I decided to surprise my parents by visiting from college unannounced — only to find out they’d taken a vacation and not left the keys behind. Not a problem, though, all I have to do is talk to the door lock.

They always told me “communication is the key.”

64. My college roommate was obsessed with trying to discover the largest known prime number.

I wonder what he is up to now.

65. What did the buffalo say when his kid left for college

66. I’ve been friends with a small group of fellow chemistry majors since college.

I guess you could say we developed strong bonds.

67. Why do encyclopedias make such bad neighbors?

They have so many volumes.

68. What did the fashion design student have to do when she missed her final exam?

Take a makeup exam.

This article was originally published on November 19, 2019

college essay joke

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36 Hilarious Posts That'll Make You Roll With Laughter If You've Ever Been A College Student

"College is a constant battle of should I work out, eat, study, socialize, or cry."

Michele Bird

BuzzFeed Contributor

If you've ever felt like you were selling your soul for textbooks or cramming for that final exam, you know just how hard college can be.

Mike in Monsters University

While the years of studying, term papers, and classes may feel strenuous, it all pays off in the end once you finally graduate with that degree you worked so hard for.

Grown-ish

What's your favorite college-inspired joke or meme? Share yours in the comments!

Share this article.

24 Hilariously Accurate College Memes All Students Will Understand

Via Runt of the Web

  • Holiday Humor

These funny college memes poke fun at the so-called best years of your life. College is full of fantastic experiences—discovering academic passions, making lifelong friends—as well as downsides like stress and student debt. Luckily, college students are always happy to satirize their institutions of higher learning, as these hilarious college memes demonstrate.

Group Projects Are the Worst

Via Instagram

At least they would finally be doing what you asked them to do.

Very Young Small Early Peas

Via Twitter

Just need to add a few more words that mean the same thing. Now where did I put that dusty old thesaurus?

Going, Going, Going, Gone

Look around in any 8 AM lecture class and you'll encounter students in all four stages of this process.

So Many Questions

Via Bored Panda

"Can you repeat the part of the stuff where you said all about the things?"

"The Walking Debt"

Via Wannajoke 

Is there anything scarier than racking up tens of thousands of dollars in debt?

"My Neighbors (College Kids) Are Testing a New Cash Flow Alternative."

These students might be geniuses. If you can't stop people from throwing trash in your yard, at least get them to throw trash that can be exchanged for cash.

This Is Fine

The "This Is Fine" dog knows exactly how it feels to put on the blinders and pretend your bank account isn't in the red. Or that money doesn't exist.

Take a Good Look at Your Future, Kid

Via Facebook

Hey, who said realism is such a bad thing?

Peak Student Status

When you show up to the lecture only to crash out on the floor with your blankie, you've achieved a new level of college.

Kuzco's Writing Technique

Anyone who's ever written an essay at the last minute can relate to the struggle of searching for ten different ways to say the exact same thing.

If College Held Parent-Teacher Conferences

Cue every class-cutter thanking their lucky stars that parent- teacher conferences are behind them.

Check Out This $1,000 TV Stand

College students often spend hundreds of dollars on a textbook, only to discover that the book is only referenced once or twice in an entire semester. Luckily, those pricy books have another potential function: furniture.

Shock and Awe

Have we mentioned how difficult it is to work when your entire grade hangs on your fellow students?

I'm Outta Here

Just make sure to wave those super slick finger-guns on the way out the door and you're sure to ace it.

Write Faster!

So what if it ends up looking like chicken scratch that even you can't read? Write faster!

College Groceries

This industrious college student has discovered what we like to call the lunchroom loophole.

"Went to Visit My Son in College. This Is His Porch Furniture."

Please ensure that your seats are in the upright position before crashing on the porch.

It's Not Stupid if It Works

This might be one of the most ingenious dorm life hacks we've ever seen.

"After Three Hours of Writing"

We've all been there—staring at that blinking cursor for hours while waiting for inspiration to strike. Here's what this student has written so far: "What I learned in boating school is."

Concentration Troubles

But if we could study for exams by playing video games, we'd be all set.

Procrastination Power

Via Cheezburger

After all, procrastination is a skill that many college students practice daily.

The Eternal College Student Dilemma

"How do I get experience when no one will hire me without experience?"

Word Count Woes

Oh, the lion's brother is also a lion? What a fascinating detail.

Seven-Year Senior

Via The Chive

Well, you can't rush perfection!

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Bad College Essays: 10 Mistakes You Must Avoid

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College Essays

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Just as there are noteworthy examples of excellent college essays that admissions offices like to publish, so are there cringe-worthy examples of terrible college essays that end up being described by anonymous admissions officers on Reddit discussion boards.

While I won't guarantee that your essay will end up in the first category, I will say that you follow my advice in this article, your essay most assuredly won't end up in the second. How do you avoid writing a bad admissions essay? Read on to find out what makes an essay bad and to learn which college essay topics to avoid. I'll also explain how to recognize bad college essays—and what to do to if you end up creating one by accident.

What Makes Bad College Essays Bad

What exactly happens to turn a college essay terrible? Just as great personal statements combine an unexpected topic with superb execution, flawed personal statements compound problematic subject matter with poor execution.

Problems With the Topic

The primary way to screw up a college essay is to flub what the essay is about or how you've decided to discuss a particular experience. Badly chosen essay content can easily create an essay that is off-putting in one of a number of ways I'll discuss in the next section.

The essay is the place to let the admissions office of your target college get to know your personality, character, and the talents and skills that aren't on your transcript. So if you start with a terrible topic, not only will you end up with a bad essay, but you risk ruining the good impression that the rest of your application makes.

Some bad topics show admissions officers that you don't have a good sense of judgment or maturity , which is a problem since they are building a class of college students who have to be able to handle independent life on campus.

Other bad topics suggest that you are a boring person , or someone who doesn't process your experience in a colorful or lively way, which is a problem since colleges want to create a dynamic and engaged cohort of students.

Still other bad topics indicate that you're unaware of or disconnected from the outside world and focused only on yourself , which is a problem since part of the point of college is to engage with new people and new ideas, and admissions officers are looking for people who can do that.

Problems With the Execution

Sometimes, even if the experiences you discuss could be the foundation of a great personal statement, the way you've structured and put together your essay sends up warning flags. This is because the admissions essay is also a place to show the admissions team the maturity and clarity of your writing style.

One way to get this part wrong is to exhibit very faulty writing mechanics , like unclear syntax or incorrectly used punctuation. This is a problem since college-ready writing is one of the things that's expected from a high school graduate.

Another way to mess this up is to ignore prompt instructions either for creative or careless reasons. This can show admissions officers that you're either someone who simply blows off directions and instructions or someone who can't understand how to follow them . Neither is a good thing, since they are looking for people who are open to receiving new information from professors and not just deciding they know everything already.

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College Essay Topics To Avoid

Want to know why you're often advised to write about something mundane and everyday for your college essay? That's because the more out-there your topic, the more likely it is to stumble into one of these trouble categories.

Too Personal

The problem with the overly personal essay topic is that revealing something very private can show that you don't really understand boundaries . And knowing where appropriate boundaries are will be key for living on your own with a bunch of people not related to you.

Unfortunately, stumbling into the TMI zone of essay topics is more common than you think. One quick test for checking your privacy-breaking level: if it's not something you'd tell a friendly stranger sitting next to you on the plane, maybe don't tell it to the admissions office.

  • Describing losing your virginity, or anything about your sex life really. This doesn't mean you can't write about your sexual orientation—just leave out the actual physical act.
  • Writing in too much detail about your illness, disability, any other bodily functions. Detailed meaningful discussion of what this physical condition has meant to you and your life is a great thing to write about. But stay away from body horror and graphic descriptions that are simply there for gratuitous shock value.
  • Waxing poetic about your love for your significant other. Your relationship is adorable to the people currently involved in it, but those who don't know you aren't invested in this aspect of your life.
  • Confessing to odd and unusual desires of the sexual or illegal variety. Your obsession with cultivating cacti is wonderful topic, while your obsession with researching explosives is a terrible one.

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Too Revealing of Bad Judgment

Generally speaking, leave past illegal or immoral actions out of your essay . It's simply a bad idea to give admissions officers ammunition to dislike you.

Some exceptions might be if you did something in a very, very different mindset from the one you're in now (in the midst of escaping from danger, under severe coercion, or when you were very young, for example). Or if your essay is about explaining how you've turned over a new leaf and you have the transcript to back you up.

  • Writing about committing crime as something fun or exciting. Unless it's on your permanent record, and you'd like a chance to explain how you've learned your lesson and changed, don't put this in your essay.
  • Describing drug use or the experience of being drunk or high. Even if you're in a state where some recreational drugs are legal, you're a high school student. Your only exposure to mind-altering substances should be caffeine.
  • Making up fictional stories about yourself as though they are true. You're unlikely to be a good enough fantasist to pull this off, and there's no reason to roll the dice on being discovered to be a liar.
  • Detailing your personality flaws. Unless you have a great story of coping with one of these, leave deal-breakers like pathological narcissism out of your personal statement.

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Too Overconfident

While it's great to have faith in your abilities, no one likes a relentless show-off. No matter how magnificent your accomplishments, if you decide to focus your essay on them, it's better to describe a setback or a moment of doubt rather that simply praising yourself to the skies.

  • Bragging and making yourself the flawless hero of your essay. This goes double if you're writing about not particularly exciting achievements like scoring the winning goal or getting the lead in the play.
  • Having no awareness of the actual scope of your accomplishments. It's lovely that you take time to help others, but volunteer-tutoring a couple of hours a week doesn't make you a saintly figure.

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Too Clichéd or Boring

Remember your reader. In this case, you're trying to make yourself memorable to an admissions officer who has been reading thousands of other essays . If your essay makes the mistake of being boring or trite, it just won't register in that person's mind as anything worth paying attention to.

  • Transcribing your resume into sentence form or writing about the main activity on your transcript. The application already includes your resume, or a detailed list of your various activities. Unless the prompt specifically asks you to write about your main activity, the essay needs to be about a facet of your interests and personality that doesn't come through the other parts of the application.
  • Writing about sports. Every athlete tries to write this essay. Unless you have a completely off-the-wall story or unusual achievement, leave this overdone topic be.
  • Being moved by your community service trip to a third-world country. Were you were impressed at how happy the people seemed despite being poor? Did you learn a valuable lesson about how privileged you are? Unfortunately, so has every other teenager who traveled on one of these trips. Writing about this tends to simultaneously make you sound unempathetic, clueless about the world, way over-privileged, and condescending. Unless you have a highly specific, totally unusual story to tell, don't do it.
  • Reacting with sadness to a sad, but very common experience. Unfortunately, many of the hard, formative events in your life are fairly universal. So, if you're going to write about death or divorce, make sure to focus on how you dealt with this event, so the essay is something only you could possibly have written. Only detailed, idiosyncratic description can save this topic.
  • Going meta. Don't write about the fact that you're writing the essay as we speak, and now the reader is reading it, and look, the essay is right here in the reader's hand. It's a technique that seems clever, but has already been done many times in many different ways.
  • Offering your ideas on how to fix the world. This is especially true if your solution is an easy fix, if only everyone would just listen to you. Trust me, there's just no way you are being realistically appreciative of the level of complexity inherent in the problem you're describing.
  • Starting with a famous quotation. There usually is no need to shore up your own words by bringing in someone else's. Of course, if you are writing about a particular phrase that you've adopted as a life motto, feel free to include it. But even then, having it be the first line in your essay feels like you're handing the keys over to that author and asking them to drive.
  • Using an everyday object as a metaphor for your life/personality. "Shoes. They are like this, and like that, and people love them for all of these reasons. And guess what? They are just like me."

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Too Off-Topic

Unlike the essays you've been writing in school where the idea is to analyze something outside of yourself, the main subject of your college essay should be you, your background, your makeup, and your future . Writing about someone or something else might well make a great essay, but not for this context.

  • Paying tribute to someone very important to you. Everyone would love to meet your grandma, but this isn't the time to focus on her amazing coming of age story. If you do want to talk about a person who is important to your life, dwell on the ways you've been impacted by them, and how you will incorporate this impact into your future.
  • Documenting how well other people do things, say things, are active, while you remain passive and inactive in the essay. Being in the orbit of someone else's important lab work, or complex stage production, or meaningful political activism is a fantastic learning moment. But if you decide to write about, your essay should be about your learning and how you've been influenced, not about the other person's achievements.
  • Concentrating on a work of art that deeply moved you. Watch out for the pitfall of writing an analytical essay about that work, and not at all about your reaction to it or how you've been affected since. Check out our explanation of how to answer Topic D of the ApplyTexas application to get some advice on writing about someone else's work while making sure your essay still points back at you.

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(Image: Pieter Christoffel Wonder [Public domain] , via Wikimedia Commons)

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Too Offensive

With this potential mistake, you run the risk of showing a lack of self-awareness or the ability to be open to new ideas . Remember, no reader wants to be lectured at. If that's what your essay does, you are demonstrating an inability to communicate successfully with others.

Also, remember that no college is eager to admit someone who is too close-minded to benefit from being taught by others. A long, one-sided essay about a hot-button issue will suggest that you are exactly that.

  • Ranting at length about political, religious, or other contentious topics. You simply don't know where the admissions officer who reads your essay stands on any of these issues. It's better to avoid upsetting or angering that person.
  • Writing a one-sided diatribe about guns, abortion, the death penalty, immigration, or anything else in the news. Even if you can marshal facts in your argument, this essay is simply the wrong place to take a narrow, unempathetic side in an ongoing debate.
  • Mentioning anything negative about the school you're applying to. Again, your reader is someone who works there and presumably is proud of the place. This is not the time to question the admissions officer's opinions or life choices.

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College Essay Execution Problems To Avoid

Bad college essays aren't only caused by bad topics. Sometimes, even if you're writing about an interesting, relevant topic, you can still seem immature or unready for college life because of the way you present that topic—the way you actually write your personal statement. Check to make sure you haven't made any of the common mistakes on this list.

Tone-Deafness

Admissions officers are looking for resourcefulness, the ability to be resilient, and an active and optimistic approach to life —these are all qualities that create a thriving college student. Essays that don't show these qualities are usually suffering from tone-deafness.

  • Being whiny or complaining about problems in your life. Is the essay about everyone doing things to/against you? About things happening to you, rather than you doing anything about them? That perspective is a definite turn-off.
  • Trying and failing to use humor. You may be very funny in real life, but it's hard to be successfully funny in this context, especially when writing for a reader who doesn't know you. If you do want to use humor, I'd recommend the simplest and most straightforward version: being self-deprecating and low-key.
  • Talking down to the reader, or alternately being self-aggrandizing. No one enjoys being condescended to. In this case, much of the function of your essay is to charm and make yourself likable, which is unlikely to happen if you adopt this tone.
  • Being pessimistic, cynical, and generally depressive. You are applying to college because you are looking forward to a future of learning, achievement, and self-actualization. This is not the time to bust out your existential ennui and your jaded, been-there-done-that attitude toward life.

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(Image: Eduard Munch [Public Domain] , via Wikimedia Commons)

Lack of Personality

One good question to ask yourself is: could anyone else have written this essay ? If the answer is yes, then you aren't doing a good job of representing your unique perspective on the world. It's very important to demonstrate your ability to be a detailed observer of the world, since that will be one of your main jobs as a college student.

  • Avoiding any emotions, and appearing robot-like and cold in the essay. Unlike essays that you've been writing for class, this essay is meant to be a showcase of your authorial voice and personality. It may seem strange to shift gears after learning how to take yourself out of your writing, but this is the place where you have to put as much as yourself in as possible.
  • Skipping over description and specific details in favor of writing only in vague generalities. Does your narrative feel like a newspaper horoscope, which could apply to every other person who was there that day? Then you're doing it wrong and need to refocus on your reaction, feelings, understanding, and transformation.

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Off-Kilter Style

There's some room for creativity here, yes, but a college essay isn't a free-for-all postmodern art class . True, there are prompts that specifically call for your most out-of-left-field submission, or allow you to submit a portfolio or some other work sample instead of a traditional essay. But on a standard application, it's better to stick to traditional prose, split into paragraphs, further split into sentences.

  • Submitting anything other than just the materials asked for on your application. Don't send food to the admissions office, don't write your essay on clothing or shoes, don't create a YouTube channel about your undying commitment to the school. I know there are a lot of urban legends about "that one time this crazy thing worked," but they are either not true or about something that will not work a second time.
  • Writing your essay in verse, in the form of a play, in bullet points, as an acrostic, or any other non-prose form. Unless you really have a way with poetry or playwriting, and you are very confident that you can meet the demands of the prompt and explain yourself well in this form, don't discard prose simply for the sake of being different.
  • Using as many "fancy" words as possible and getting very far away from sounding like yourself. Admissions officers are unanimous in wanting to hear your not fully formed teenage voice in your essay. This means that you should write at the top of your vocabulary range and syntax complexity, but don't trade every word up for a thesaurus synonym. Your essay will suffer for it.

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Failure to Proofread

Most people have a hard time checking over their own work. This is why you have to make sure that someone else proofreads your writing . This is the one place where you can, should—and really must—get someone who knows all about grammar, punctuation and has a good eye for detail to take a red pencil to your final draft.

Otherwise, you look like you either don't know the basic rules or writing (in which case, are you really ready for college work?) or don't care enough to present yourself well (in which case, why would the admissions people care about admitting you?).

  • Typos, grammatical mistakes, punctuation flubs, weird font/paragraph spacing issues. It's true that these are often unintentional mistakes. But caring about getting it right is a way to demonstrate your work ethic and dedication to the task at hand.
  • Going over the word limit. Part of showing your brilliance is being able to work within arbitrary rules and limitations. Going over the word count points to a lack of self-control, which is not a very attractive feature in a college applicant.
  • Repeating the same word(s) or sentence structure over and over again. This makes your prose monotonous and hard to read.

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Bad College Essay Examples—And How to Fix Them

The beauty of writing is that you get to rewrite. So if you think of your essay as a draft waiting to be revised into a better version rather than as a precious jewel that can't bear being touched, you'll be in far better shape to correct the issues that always crop up!

Now let's take a look at some actual college essay drafts to see where the writer is going wrong and how the issue could be fixed.

Essay #1: The "I Am Writing This Essay as We Speak" Meta-Narrative

Was your childhood home destroyed by a landspout tornado? Yeah, neither was mine. I know that intro might have given the impression that this college essay will be about withstanding disasters, but the truth is that it isn't about that at all.

In my junior year, I always had in mind an image of myself finishing the college essay months before the deadline. But as the weeks dragged on and the deadline drew near, it soon became clear that at the rate things are going I would probably have to make new plans for my October, November and December.

Falling into my personal wormhole, I sat down with my mom to talk about colleges. "Maybe you should write about Star Trek ," she suggested, "you know how you've always been obsessed with Captain Picard, calling him your dream mentor. Unique hobbies make good topics, right? You'll sound creative!" I played with the thought in my mind, tapping my imaginary communicator pin and whispering "Computer. Tea. Earl Grey. Hot. And then an Essay." Nothing happened. Instead, I sat quietly in my room wrote the old-fashioned way. Days later I emerged from my room disheveled, but to my dismay, this college essay made me sound like just a guy who can't get over the fact that he'll never take the Starfleet Academy entrance exam. So, I tossed my essay away without even getting to disintegrate it with a phaser set on stun.

I fell into a state of panic. My college essay. My image of myself in senior year. Almost out of nowhere, Robert Jameson Smith offered his words of advice. Perfect! He suggested students begin their college essay by listing their achievements and letting their essay materialize from there. My heart lifted, I took his advice and listed three of my greatest achievements - mastering my backgammon strategy, being a part of TREE in my sophomore year, and performing "I Am the Very Model of a Modern Major-General" from The Pirates of Penzance in public. And sure enough, I felt inspiration hit me and began to type away furiously into the keyboard about my experience in TREE, or Trees Require Engaged Environmentalists. I reflected on the current state of deforestation, and described the dichotomy of it being both understandable why farmers cut down forests for farmland, and how dangerous this is to our planet. Finally, I added my personal epiphany to the end of my college essay as the cherry on the vanilla sundae, as the overused saying goes.

After 3 weeks of figuring myself out, I have converted myself into a piece of writing. As far as achievements go, this was definitely an amazing one. The ability to transform a human being into 603 words surely deserves a gold medal. Yet in this essay, I was still being nagged by a voice that couldn't be ignored. Eventually, I submitted to that yelling inner voice and decided that this was not the right essay either.

In the middle of a hike through Philadelphia's Fairmount Park, I realized that the college essay was nothing more than an embodiment of my character. The two essays I have written were not right because they have failed to become more than just words on recycled paper. The subject failed to come alive. Certainly my keen interest in Star Trek and my enthusiasm for TREE are a great part of who I am, but there were other qualities essential in my character that did not come across in the essays.

With this realization, I turned around as quickly as I could without crashing into a tree.

What Essay #1 Does Well

Here are all things that are working on all cylinders for this personal statement as is.

Killer First Sentence

Was your childhood home destroyed by a landspout tornado? Yeah, neither was mine.

  • A strange fact. There are different kinds of tornadoes? What is a "landspout tornado" anyway?
  • A late-night-deep-thoughts hypothetical. What would it be like to be a kid whose house was destroyed in this unusual way?
  • Direct engagement with the reader. Instead of asking "what would it be like to have a tornado destroy a house" it asks "was your house ever destroyed."

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Gentle, Self-Deprecating Humor That Lands Well

I played with the thought in my mind, tapping my imaginary communicator pin and whispering "Computer. Tea. Earl Grey. Hot. And then an Essay." Nothing happened. Instead, I sat quietly in my room wrote the old-fashioned way. Days later I emerged from my room disheveled, but to my dismay, this college essay made me sound like just a guy who can't get over the fact that he'll never take the Starfleet Academy entrance exam. So, I tossed my essay away without even getting to disintegrate it with a phaser set on stun.

The author has his cake and eats it too here: both making fun of himself for being super into the Star Trek mythos, but also showing himself being committed enough to try whispering a command to the Enterprise computer alone in his room. You know, just in case.

A Solid Point That Is Made Paragraph by Paragraph

The meat of the essay is that the two versions of himself that the author thought about portraying each fails in some way to describe the real him. Neither an essay focusing on his off-beat interests, nor an essay devoted to his serious activism could capture everything about a well-rounded person in 600 words.

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(Image: fir0002 via Wikimedia Commons .)

Where Essay #1 Needs Revision

Rewriting these flawed parts will make the essay shine.

Spending Way Too Long on the Metanarrative

I know that intro might have given the impression that this college essay will be about withstanding disasters, but the truth is that it isn't about that at all.

After 3 weeks of figuring myself out, I have converted myself into a piece of writing. As far as achievements go, this was definitely an amazing one. The ability to transform a human being into 603 words surely deserves a gold medal.

Look at how long and draggy these paragraphs are, especially after that zippy opening. Is it at all interesting to read about how someone else found the process of writing hard? Not really, because this is a very common experience.

In the rewrite, I'd advise condensing all of this to maybe a sentence to get to the meat of the actual essay .

Letting Other People Do All the Doing

I sat down with my mom to talk about colleges. "Maybe you should write about Star Trek ," she suggested, "you know how you've always been obsessed with Captain Picard, calling him your dream mentor. Unique hobbies make good topics, right? You'll sound creative!"

Almost out of nowhere, Robert Jameson Smith offered his words of advice. Perfect! He suggested students begin their college essay by listing their achievements and letting their essay materialize from there.

Twice in the essay, the author lets someone else tell him what to do. Not only that, but it sounds like both of the "incomplete" essays were dictated by the thoughts of other people and had little to do with his own ideas, experiences, or initiative.

In the rewrite, it would be better to recast both the Star Trek and the TREE versions of the essay as the author's own thoughts rather than someone else's suggestions . This way, the point of the essay—taking apart the idea that a college essay could summarize life experience—is earned by the author's two failed attempts to write that other kind of essay.

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Leaving the Insight and Meaning Out of His Experiences

Both the Star Trek fandom and the TREE activism were obviously important life experiences for this author—important enough to be potential college essay topic candidates. But there is no description of what the author did with either one, nor any explanation of why these were so meaningful to his life.

It's fine to say that none of your achievements individually define you, but in order for that to work, you have to really sell the achievements themselves.

In the rewrite, it would be good to explore what he learned about himself and the world by pursuing these interests . How did they change him or seen him into the person he is today?

Not Adding New Shades and Facets of Himself Into the Mix

So, I tossed my essay away without even getting to disintegrate it with a phaser set on stun.

Yet in this essay, I was still being nagged by a voice that couldn't be ignored. Eventually, I submitted to that yelling inner voice and decided that this was not the right essay either.

In both of these passages, there is the perfect opportunity to point out what exactly these failed versions of the essay didn't capture about the author . In the next essay draft, I would suggest subtly making a point about his other qualities.

For example, after the Star Trek paragraph, he could talk about other culture he likes to consume, especially if he can discuss art forms he is interested in that would not be expected from someone who loves Star Trek .

Or, after the TREE paragraph, the author could explain why this second essay was no better at capturing him than the first. What was missing? Why is the self in the essay shouting—is it because this version paints him as an overly aggressive activist?

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Essay #2: The "I Once Saw Poor People" Service Trip Essay

Unlike other teenagers, I'm not concerned about money, or partying, or what others think of me. Unlike other eighteen year-olds, I think about my future, and haven't become totally materialistic and acquisitive. My whole outlook on life changed after I realized that my life was just being handed to me on a silver spoon, and yet there were those in the world who didn't have enough food to eat or place to live. I realized that the one thing that this world needed more than anything was compassion; compassion for those less fortunate than us.

During the summer of 2006, I went on a community service trip to rural Peru to help build an elementary school for kids there. I expected harsh conditions, but what I encountered was far worse. It was one thing to watch commercials asking for donations to help the unfortunate people in less developed countries, yet it was a whole different story to actually live it. Even after all this time, I can still hear babies crying from hunger; I can still see the filthy rags that they wore; I can still smell the stench of misery and hopelessness. But my most vivid memory was the moment I first got to the farming town. The conditions of it hit me by surprise; it looked much worse in real life than compared to the what our group leader had told us. Poverty to me and everyone else I knew was a foreign concept that people hear about on the news or see in documentaries. But this abject poverty was their life, their reality. And for the brief ten days I was there, it would be mine too. As all of this realization came at once, I felt overwhelmed by the weight of what was to come. Would I be able to live in the same conditions as these people? Would I catch a disease that no longer existed in the first world, or maybe die from drinking contaminated water? As these questions rolled around my already dazed mind, I heard a soft voice asking me in Spanish, "Are you okay? Is there anything I can do to make you feel better?" I looked down to see a small boy, around nine years of age, who looked starved, and cold, wearing tattered clothing, comforting me. These people who have so little were able to forget their own needs, and put those much more fortunate ahead of themselves. It was at that moment that I saw how selfish I had been. How many people suffered like this in the world, while I went about life concerned about nothing at all?

Thinking back on the trip, maybe I made a difference, maybe not. But I gained something much more important. I gained the desire to make the world a better place for others. It was in a small, poverty-stricken village in Peru that I finally realized that there was more to life than just being alive.

What Essay #2 Does Well

Let's first point out what this draft has going for it.

Clear Chronology

This is an essay that tries to explain a shift in perspective. There are different ways to structure this overarching idea, but a chronological approach that starts with an earlier opinion, describes a mind changing event, and ends with the transformed point of view is an easy and clear way to lay this potentially complex subject out.

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(Image: User:Lite via Wikimedia Commons)

Where Essay #2 Needs Revision

Now let's see what needs to be changed in order for this essay to pass muster.

Condescending, Obnoxious Tone

Unlike other teenagers, I'm not concerned about money, or partying, or what others think of me. Unlike other eighteen year-olds, I think about my future, and haven't become totally materialistic and acquisitive.

This is a very broad generalization, which doesn't tend to be the best way to formulate an argument—or to start an essay. It just makes this author sound dismissive of a huge swath of the population.

In the rewrite, this author would be way better off just concentrate on what she want to say about herself, not pass judgment on "other teenagers," most of whom she doesn't know and will never meet.

I realized that the one thing that this world needed more than anything was compassion; compassion for those less fortunate than us.

Coming from someone who hasn't earned her place in the world through anything but the luck of being born, the word "compassion" sounds really condescending. Calling others "less fortunate" when you're a senior in high school has a dehumanizing quality to it.

These people who have so little were able to forget their own needs, and put those much more fortunate in front of themselves.

Again, this comes across as very patronizing. Not only that, but to this little boy the author was clearly not looking all that "fortunate"—instead, she looked pathetic enough to need comforting.

In the next draft, a better hook could be making the essay about the many different kinds of shifting perspectives the author encountered on that trip . A more meaningful essay would compare and contrast the points of view of the TV commercials, to what the group leader said, to the author's own expectations, and finally to this child's point of view.

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Vague, Unobservant Description

During the summer of 2006, I went on a community service trip to rural Peru to help build an elementary school for kids there. I expected harsh conditions, but what I encountered was far worse. It was one thing to watch commercials asking for donations to help the unfortunate people in less developed countries, yet it was a whole different story to actually live it. Even after all this time, I can still hear babies crying from hunger; I can still see the filthy rags that they wore; I can still smell the stench of misery and hopelessness.

Phrases like "cries of the small children from not having enough to eat" and "dirt stained rags" seem like descriptions, but they're really closer to incurious and completely hackneyed generalizations. Why were the kids were crying? How many kids? All the kids? One specific really loud kid?

The same goes for "filthy rags," which is both an incredibly insensitive way to talk about the clothing of these villagers, and again shows a total lack of interest in their life. Why were their clothes dirty? Were they workers or farmers so their clothes showing marks of labor? Did they have Sunday clothes? Traditional clothes they would put on for special occasions? Did they make their own clothes? That would be a good reason to keep wearing clothing even if it had "stains" on it.

The rewrite should either make this section more specific and less reliant on cliches, or should discard it altogether .

The conditions of it hit me by surprise; it looked much worse in real life than compared to the what our group leader had told us. Poverty to me and everyone else I knew was a foreign concept that people hear about on the news or see in documentaries. But this abject poverty was their life, their reality.

If this is the "most vivid memory," then I would expect to read all the details that have been seared into the author's brain. What did their leader tell them? What was different in real life? What was the light like? What did the houses/roads/grass/fields/trees/animals/cars look like? What time of day was it? Did they get there by bus, train, or plane? Was there an airport/train station/bus terminal? A city center? Shops? A marketplace?

There are any number of details to include here when doing another drafting pass.

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Lack of Insight or Maturity

But this abject poverty was their life, their reality. And for the brief ten days I was there, it would be mine too. As all of this realization came at once, I felt overwhelmed by the weight of what was to come. Would I be able to live in the same conditions as these people? Would I catch a disease that no longer existed in the first world, or maybe die from drinking contaminated water?

Without a framing device explaining that this initial panic was an overreaction, this section just makes the author sound whiny, entitled, melodramatic, and immature . After all, this isn't a a solo wilderness trek—the author is there with a paid guided program. Just how much mortality is typically associated with these very standard college-application-boosting service trips?

In a rewrite, I would suggest including more perspective on the author's outsized and overprivileged response here. This would fit well with a new focus on the different points of view on this village the author encountered.

Unearned, Clichéd "Deep Thoughts"

But I gained something much more important. I gained the desire to make the world a better place for others. It was in a small, poverty-stricken village in Peru that I finally realized that there was more to life than just being alive.

Is it really believable that this is what the author learned? There is maybe some evidence to suggest that the author was shaken somewhat out of a comfortable, materialistic existence. But what does "there is more to life than just being alive" even really mean? This conclusion is rather vague, and seems mostly a non sequitur.

In a rewrite, the essay should be completely reoriented to discuss how differently others see us than we see ourselves, pivoting on the experience of being pitied by someone who you thought was pitiable. Then, the new version can end by on a note of being better able to understand different points of view and other people's perspectives .

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The Bottom Line

  • Bad college essays have problems either with their topics or their execution.
  • The essay is how admissions officers learn about your personality, point of view, and maturity level, so getting the topic right is a key factor in letting them see you as an aware, self-directed, open-minded applicant who is going to thrive in an environment of independence.
  • The essay is also how admissions officers learn that you are writing at a ready-for-college level, so screwing up the execution shows that you either don't know how to write, or don't care enough to do it well.
  • The main ways college essay topics go wrong is bad taste, bad judgment, and lack of self-awareness.
  • The main ways college essays fail in their execution have to do with ignoring format, syntax, and genre expectations.

What's Next?

Want to read some excellent college essays now that you've seen some examples of flawed one? Take a look through our roundup of college essay examples published by colleges and then get help with brainstorming your perfect college essay topic .

Need some guidance on other parts of the application process? Check out our detailed, step-by-step guide to college applications for advice.

Are you considering taking the SAT or ACT again before you submit your application? Read about our famous test prep guides for hints and strategies for a better score.

Want to improve your SAT score by 160 points or your ACT score by 4 points?   We've written a guide for each test about the top 5 strategies you must be using to have a shot at improving your score. Download them for free now:

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  • How to Make Your College Essay Stand Out | Tips & Examples

How to Make Your College Essay Stand Out | Tips & Examples

Published on October 25, 2021 by Kirsten Courault . Revised on August 14, 2023.

While admissions officers are interested in hearing about your experiences , they’re also interested in how you present them. An exceptionally written essay will stand out from the crowd, meaning that admissions officers will spend more time reading it.

To write a standout essay, you can use literary devices to pull the reader in and catch their attention. Literary devices often complement each other and can be woven together to craft an original, vivid, and creative personal essay. However, don’t overdo it; focus on using just a few devices well, rather than trying to use as many as possible.

Table of contents

Essay structure devices, storytelling devices, imagery devices, tone devices, sentence-level devices, other interesting articles, frequently asked questions about college application essays.

You can frame your essay with symbolism or extended metaphors, which both work well in a montage or narrative essay structure .

Symbolism is the use of tangible objects to represent ideas. In your college essay, you can use one major symbol that represents your essay’s theme. Throughout your essay, you can also intentionally place related minor symbols to communicate ideas without explicitly stating them. The key is to use original, meaningful symbols that are not cliché.

For example, if your essay’s theme is “family,” your symbol could be a well-worn beloved Lord of the Rings Monopoly game set. Rather than directly saying, “The Lord of the Rings Monopoly game has brought my family happiness,” share stories with this game to demonstrate your family’s closeness, joy, and loyalty.

Supporting symbols:

  • Story 1: Chipped and mismatching collectible Gandalf the Grey coffee mugs surround the Monopoly board during a lazy weekend
  • Story 2: A folding card table supports our family’s mobile Monopoly game while the family plays at a campsite
  • Story 3: An extended edition LOTR box set plays in the background during Thanksgiving feasts with extended family. We have a Monopoly competition after dinner.
  • Story 4: Matching Frodo, Sam, Pippin, and Merry Halloween outfits are proudly worn by me and my family members. We always play a game of Monopoly the afternoon before going out together to our town’s annual Halloween carnival.

In the example below, a student depicts “The Monster,” an imaginary symbolic figure that represents the student’s jealousy.

Main idea: I have been on a quest to slay the Monster, the toxic envy that overtakes me when I compare myself to one of my friends.

Narrative: I remember first encountering the Monster in second grade when Laurel bobbed her hair. Everybody raved about how cute she looked. The Monster had plenty to say about how ugly, unpopular, and undesirable I was compared to Laurel. After that day, the Monster never seemed to leave my side.

Extended metaphor

A metaphor directly compares two unrelated objects, giving deeper meaning and multi-dimensional imagery. Since metaphors create a new reality between two objects, use them sparingly throughout your essay to avoid overwhelming the reader with too many comparisons.

You can also use an extended metaphor, which builds upon a simple metaphor throughout the essay with other literary devices and more in-depth descriptions.

To brainstorm your extended metaphor, you should first identify feelings or values associated with your story and then brainstorm images associated with these feelings.

Keep the following in mind when crafting your extended metaphor:

  • Keep the comparison simple.
  • Use a few other literary devices such as imagery or anecdotes to enrich your extended metaphor.
  • Avoid making cliché comparisons.
  • Don’t exaggerate or make an unrealistic comparison.

In the example below, a student uses the extended metaphor of a museum to explore the theme of identity. Each anecdote is framed as an “exhibit” that tells us something about her life.

  • The Sight Exhibit: Flashback illustrating how racial discrimination led to my identity as a writer
  • The Sound Exhibit: Snapshots of musical memories, identity as a musical theater lover
  • The Smell Exhibit: Scents of my family’s Thanksgiving meal, identity as a daughter, granddaughter, and member of the Arimoto family
  • The Touch Exhibit: Feel of warm water washing away academic and extracurricular worries while washing dishes, identity as a level-headed honors student
  • The Taste Exhibit: Taste of salty sweat while bike training with a friend, identity as an athlete

In the next example, a student uses the river as an extended metaphor for his educational journey. The different parts of the river’s course represent different challenges he has overcome.

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Here are the most effective literary devices to enrich your storytelling in college essays.

Into the midst of things, in medias res

In medias res , Latin for “into the midst of things,” is a device that involves starting in the middle of the action. Then, important details are added to fill in the story. Similar to the beginning of an action or thriller movie, in medias res immediately drops the reader into a scene, allowing them to discern the story through sensory imagery.

Unlike a linear chronological narrative, flashbacks can be used to transport your reader from the present moment to a key past event to give a clearer understanding of your current personality, values, and goals.

Dialogue is a conversation between two or more people. Using dialogue in your essay can sometimes create suspense, transport readers into a scene, or highlight an important message. However, it should be used sparingly and strategically to avoid an anti-climatic or redundant moment.

Famous quotes should be avoided since they are overused, but using quotes from important people in your life can be original, personal, and powerful. But make sure the quote adds value to your essay.

You can use both figurative and literal imagery throughout your essay to paint a clearer, richer image in your reader’s mind.

Similes , like metaphors, compare two unrelated objects but use the words “as” or “like.”

In a metaphor, the two objects are considered the same, but in a simile, the word “like” or “as” creates some distance between the objects.

Five senses

Illustrate your five senses with descriptive language to help your readers quickly imagine your story in a vivid, visceral way. Sensory language also helps to convey your interest and knowledge of a topic.

Personification

Personification uses human characteristics and behaviors to describe inanimate objects, animals, or ideas. This can help show your emotional connection to something in an original and poetic way.

Here are a few tone devices to help improve your essay’s authenticity and voice .

Colloquialisms

While most slang is too informal for college essays, regional colloquialisms can sometimes improve your essay’s authenticity when used strategically, enhancing your ability to connect with admissions officers and adding a memorable element.

However, you should ensure that they don’t seem shoehorned in or otherwise affect the flow, clarity, or professionalism of your essay. If applying to schools outside your region of origin (or if you’re applying as an international student ), be sure the colloquialism is one that will be widely understood.

Hyperbole is dramatic exaggeration to express the intensity of your feelings about something. Use hyperbole sparingly to ensure the greatest impact and avoid sounding overly dramatic. Make sure to be original, avoiding overused comparisons.

Sentence-level devices are useful for dramatic effect or to highlight a point. But use them sparingly to avoid sounding robotic, redundant, or awkward.

To have the greatest impact, use these devices against the backdrop of varying sentence structures and at a critical or vulnerable moment in your essay, especially during reflection.

Alliteration The repetition of the first or middle consonants in two or more words throughout a sentence. As I kept refreshing my inbox, I waited with anticipation, anxiety, and agitation.
Anaphora The repetition of a specific word or phrase at the start of different clauses or sentences to highlight a particular feeling or concept. Why did my little brother always get the attention? Why did my parents always allow him, and not me, to break curfew?
Asyndeton The intentional omission of conjunctions to achieve faster flow. I faked left, and the goalie took the bait. I spun right, I kicked, I scored!
Polysyndeton The deliberate use of additional conjunctions to slow down the pace. I was wet and hungry and exhausted.

If you want to know more about academic writing , effective communication , or parts of speech , make sure to check out some of our other articles with explanations and examples.

Academic writing

  • Writing process
  • Transition words
  • Passive voice
  • Paraphrasing

 Communication

  • How to end an email
  • Ms, mrs, miss
  • How to start an email
  • I hope this email finds you well
  • Hope you are doing well

 Parts of speech

  • Personal pronouns
  • Conjunctions

A standout college essay has several key ingredients:

  • A unique, personally meaningful topic
  • A memorable introduction with vivid imagery or an intriguing hook
  • Specific stories and language that show instead of telling
  • Vulnerability that’s authentic but not aimed at soliciting sympathy
  • Clear writing in an appropriate style and tone
  • A conclusion that offers deep insight or a creative ending

Your college essay accounts for about 25% of your application’s weight. It may be the deciding factor in whether you’re accepted, especially for competitive schools where most applicants have exceptional grades, test scores, and extracurricular track records.

Though admissions officers are interested in hearing your story, they’re also interested in how you tell it. An exceptionally written essay will differentiate you from other applicants, meaning that admissions officers will spend more time reading it.

You can use literary devices to catch your reader’s attention and enrich your storytelling; however, focus on using just a few devices well, rather than trying to use as many as possible.

You can use humor in a college essay , but carefully consider its purpose and use it wisely. An effective use of humor involves unexpected, keen observations of the everyday, or speaks to a deeper theme. Humor shouldn’t be the main focus of the essay, but rather a tool to improve your storytelling.

Get a second opinion from a teacher, counselor, or essay coach on whether your essay’s humor is appropriate.

Avoid swearing in a college essay , since admissions officers’ opinions of profanity will vary. In some cases, it might be okay to use a vulgar word, such as in dialogue or quotes that make an important point in your essay. However, it’s safest to try to make the same point without swearing.

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3 Excellent Brown “Joy” Essay Examples

What’s covered:, essay example #1 – latin, essay example #2 – driving.

  • Essay Example #3 – Drawing
  • Where to Get Your Brown Essays Edited

Brown is one of the most selective schools in the country, which means grades and test scores won’t get you in on their own. You also want to show off your more intangible personal qualities, so that admissions officers get a complete picture of who you are beyond the numbers.

The “joy” prompt, which Brown has had for several years, is a fantastic opportunity to do exactly that, by sharing something about yourself with admissions officers that wouldn’t appear on any resume, but is a fundamental part of who you are. College applications can feel quite dry, so when you get the chance to liven things up with this kind of prompt, make sure you take full advantage of it!

Please note: Looking at examples of real essays students have submitted to colleges can be very beneficial to get inspiration for your essays. You should  never copy or plagiarize from these examples  when writing your own essays. Colleges can tell when an essay isn’t genuine and will not view students favorably if they plagiarized. 

If you want detailed guidance on how to tackle the “joy” prompt, and Brown’s other supplemental essays, check out our Brown essay breakdown !

Brown “Joy” Prompt

The following essays respond to this prompt: 

Brown students care deeply about their work and the world around them. Students find contentment, satisfaction, and meaning in daily interactions and major discoveries. Whether big or small, mundane or spectacular, tell us about something that brings you joy. (200-250 words)

Since this prompt doesn’t fit neatly into one of the classic supplemental essay boxes (like “Why School?”  or  “Why Major?” ), you may not be quite sure where to start. To help you out, we’ve compiled three responses real students wrote to this prompt. You can read the essays below, and get our breakdowns of each one’s strengths and weaknesses.

I remember being a fourth-grade “puella”, discovering the joy of chanting declensions with my classmates. Since then, my passion for Latin and mythology has expanded by reading books like Percy Jackson’s Greek Gods to Homer’s The Odyssey. I’ll never embody a character as well as I played the mythological Psyche in my fifth-grade Latin presentation.

I’ve always compared my Latin homework to my math homework. It’s very methodical, translating each phrase and then trying new ways to create a coherent sentence. Whenever I’d spent a good twenty minutes sorting through the puzzle of words to make a sentence, that moment where it finally made sense was euphoric. 

These translation and mythology skills I’d developed over the years would become essential about halfway through my freshman year Latin class when I was introduced to the revolutionary game of Certamen. Certamen is like Latin jeopardy with questions themed after classical history, mythology, translation, and grammar. A familiar feeling of competition surges through me each time my teammate of three years and I start a game of Certamen. With our handy doorbell buzz button and endless knowledge of Latin derivatives, we currently maintain a three-year Certamen win streak that I intend to keep until I graduate. The light-bulb that goes off in my head whenever I finally grasp the meaning of a Latin passage has become addicting throughout the years, and I hope to continue experiencing that joy at Brown University.

What the Essay Did Well

This essay does a great job of answering the prompt! Brown wants to know about something that brings you joy, and the student shared multiple responses, “chanting declensions with my classmates,” “sorting through the puzzles of words to make a sentence,” and “Certamen.”

While this student shares several things that bring them joy, they all fall under the theme of Latin which reveals the student’s broad interest in the subject. Further, the student does well making their interest relevant to Brown by hinting in the last sentence that this is something they want to continue to experience at Brown University. The reader learns not only about the writer’s interests but also that they’re going to bring this interest in Latin to their time at Brown. It’s always great when the reader can get an idea of what you want to do as a student on campus at their university!

The writer also describes the game of “Certamen” well by showing and not telling. For example, sentences like, “With our handy doorbell buzz button and endless knowledge of Latin derivatives…” and “A familiar feeling of competition surges through me,” paint a picture of the game. The reader understands that the writer loves the game of Certamen just by these descriptions; the student doesn’t have to directly say “I love Certamen.” Showing, rather than telling, makes an essay more immersive and shows off your writing skills. 

What Could Be Improved 

The second paragraph of this essay shares a bit about why the writer likes their Latin homework, but other than being about Latin, this paragraph doesn’t fit in well with the rest of the essay. Latin homework and puzzles aren’t mentioned in either of the other paragraphs, and the transitions between paragraphs could be stronger.

Right now, the writer connects the second paragraph to the third by saying just, “These translation skills.” This transition could be improved by the student writing a stronger transition sentence from the first to the second paragraph. They could say, “In middle school I started getting more homework for Latin, but I didn’t mind because I’ve always compared it to my math homework.” This would emphasize their love for Latin and show that it’s a subject they’ve studied throughout the years. Transition sentences are important so that each paragraph contributes to the essay.

The writer could also improve the essay by focusing more on recent stories and examples of their love for Latin and mythology. They spend the first two paragraphs starting with fourth grade and going through the years until they reach high school in the final paragraph. It’s okay to share an interest or something that’s brought you joy for a long time, but when you mention the distant past, it’s best to keep that part limited. The reader wants to learn more about who you are now and your current interests. The writer could have instead given examples of recent translation projects or recent mythology books they’ve read. 

Sitting behind the steering wheel, with the low hum of my music and the engine as background noise, I breathe in the familiarity of the 5-mile radius I generally commute within. My windows are rolled down and my sunroof is wide open, weather permitting, as the wind threatens to defenestrate my possessions. But I enjoy it immensely. The drive is refreshingly liberating: it feels like I can do anything and go anywhere I desire. As someone who frequently feels overwhelmed by the idea that most of my life is outside my control, a drive will often cure that feeling. The freedom of driving dissipates those worries.

My most frequent destination is Starbucks, not the one closest to my home, but rather the franchise that is a mile or two further. It allows me to enjoy the drive for longer than just a few minutes, extending an otherwise hasty experience to offer more time in reflection. Upon arriving and picking up my mobile order, I return to my car and savor my coffee, all while appreciating the music and experience. The coffee is an impeccable companion, both in its rich taste and the endeavor of acquiring it.

During my most stressful weeks, I can rely on my trips to get coffee as an outlet to forget my assignments and worries. The solitude of the activity is a rare opportunity for reflection: a joyful adventure all around.

It isn’t easy to make a mundane topic like driving to get coffee interesting, but this student was able to do just that! They did a great job of beautifully describing an outing that gives them joy. Specifically, the writer uses imagery well in sentences like: “My windows are rolled down and my sunroof is wide open, weather permitting, as the wind threatens to defenestrate my possessions.” It’s easy for the reader to imagine the possessions about to fly away!

Other strong description words help with this, as well. The writer describes the “rich taste” of the coffee and the “engine of background noise.” By painting a picture of some of the five senses, the writer is able to bring the reader into the moment and create a compelling story. 

The writer does a great job of sharing why the act of driving to Starbucks brings them joy. These details help this essay go beyond just a pretty story by helping the reader to learn about the student.

From moments like, “As someone who frequently feels overwhelmed by the idea that most of my life is outside my control, a drive will often cure that feeling,” readers learn one of the reasons why driving brings the student joy. Additionally, readers learn that this is a joyous moment for the writer because it serves as a time for reflection. These small details are great to include because they show why the reader is joyful!

While the writer does a good job of inserting details that explain why they love driving to Starbucks, the reader still only learns a limited amount about the writer. The only interests shared are that the reader enjoys driving and Starbucks.

Supplemental essays like this are a great chance for students to share interests that they don’t have a chance to include anywhere else on their application. For example, the writer could have written about their love for photography and how taking photographs of dogs brings them joy. That would teach the reader more about who the writer is as a person and what they would bring to Brown University.

Some sentences do a great job of sharing details and painting a picture of the scene; however, there are a few places where the author could provide even further details. For example, what kind of coffee are they drinking? Is it a grande iced white mocha, or a venti java chip frappuccino ? What music are they listening to on the radio? Sharing these kinds of details would allow the reader to learn more about the author and their interests, which is great for a topic like this, where the goal is for the student to share an interest they have not mentioned in their application.

Essay Example #3 – Drawing  

My dusty sketchbook must dread the moments I decide to take it off my desk. Every time I pick it up to use, it results in piles of graphite and eraser shavings everywhere in my room. I’ve gone through so many boxes of pencils, I think Ticonderoga must know me by now. The sketchbook of mine has seen better days – days where it looked pristine and without blemish. 

I love to draw. Yes the final result provides fantastic amusement to my eyes, but the process of the entire drawing allures me to this hobby. The second the fine point of my pencil hits the devoid paper, wonders only comparable to music begin to formulate. Each stroke of the pencil leaves a mark surpassing in magnificence to the one before. The freedom to pour out my thoughts into a sheet of paper astonishes me and provides me with a feeling of bliss and comfort.

Each sheet of paper is brimmed with portraits; my loved ones, friends, even strangers take up the space in my book, but for good reason. After I finish each drawing, I simply give it to them. I do cherish the journey I take with my art, but the smile on their faces when I give them my art is nothing less than beautiful. Even the most majestic of artists wouldn’t be able to capture the raw nature of that smile. For that is where I am given the most joy, in the smiles of others.

What The Essay Did Well

This essay does a superb job of using particularly sophisticated and vibrant language! The word choice is memorable and striking, which both keeps readers engaged and demonstrates the author’s broad vocabulary. Vivid images like the dusty sketchbook and the eraser shavings, or the notebook brimming with drawings, draw us in, before phrases like “wonders only comparable to music” and “the raw nature of that smile” drive home the applicant’s deep personal connection to their topic. 

The author’s confident, unique voice is another strength here. From the playful tone in the beginning of the essay, to the impassioned description of the student’s process, and finally, the reflection on the humanity of drawing, we get to know the author’s personality. They come across as funny, thoughtful, and generous, thanks to the details they include and the tone they use when presenting them.

Most importantly, the command of language and the personal tone come together to convey the author’s true passion for drawing, and the joy they find in that activity. Ultimately, any college essay needs to address the prompt, which this one does clearly and comprehensively. The mastery of language and vibrant personality are what take the essay from good to great, but the real key to this essay’s success is its connection to the prompt, as without that, Brown admissions officers wouldn’t get the information they’re looking for. 

What Could Be Improved

With an essay this strong, it’s tough to imagine what could make it better. At this point, changes would mainly make the essay different, not necessarily better or worse. However, considering alternative approaches can still be productive, since everyone has a slightly different way of telling their story.

For example, the student could have spent a little more time explaining their decision to give their portraits away. Right now, the essay ends with something of a plot twist, as we learn that what brings the student the most joy is in fact not the act of drawing, but the smiles of others after receiving their work. 

This “cliffhanger” ending is striking and memorable, but we also miss out on learning more about the student’s personality. Drawing is usually a solitary pursuit, but for this student, it’s clearly a more social activity, and they could have spent a bit more time exploring this aspect of their art to further set themselves apart from other applicants.

Again, though, this suggestion is more likely to subtly shift the tone of the essay than make it drastically better. Calling a college essay “done” can be stressful, but this essay is a good reminder that, at a certain point, your energy is going to be more productively spent on other aspects of your application.

Where to Get Your  Brown  Essays Edited

Do you want feedback on your Brown essays? After rereading your essays countless times, it can be difficult to evaluate your writing objectively. That’s why we created our free  Peer Essay Review tool , where you can get a free review of your essay from another student. You can also improve your own writing skills by reviewing other students’ essays. 

If you want a college admissions expert to review your essay, advisors on CollegeVine have helped students refine their writing and submit successful applications to top schools.  Find the right advisor for you  to improve your chances of getting into your dream school!

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Want to write a college essay that sets you apart? Three tips to give you a head start

How to write a college essay

1. Keep it real. It’s normal to want to make a good impression on the school of your choice, but it’s also important to show who you really are. So just be yourself! Compelling stories might not be perfectly linear or have a happy ending, and that’s OK. It’s best to be authentic instead of telling schools what you think they want to hear.

2. Be reflective . Think about how you’ve changed during high school. How have you grown and improved? What makes you feel ready for college, and how do you hope to contribute to the campus community and society at large?

3. Look to the future. Consider your reasons for attending college. What do you hope to gain from your education? What about college excites you the most, and what would you like to do after you graduate? Answering these questions will not only give colleges insight into the kind of student you’ll be, but it will also give you the personal insight you’ll need to choose the school that’s right for you.

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As a student or prospective student at CU Boulder, you have a right to certain information pertaining to financial aid programs, the Clery Act, crime and safety, graduation rates, athletics and other general information such as the costs associated with attending CU Boulder. To view this information visit  colorado.edu/your-right-know .

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How do I incorporate humor in my college essays?

Well I was banking on the college admission officers to look at my face and laugh, but I am left in disappointment. How do I incorporate humor into my college essay? I want it to be natural and not to overbearing. I don’t want to throw dad jokes in every sentence. Do y’all have any advice?

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Barnard Short Answer Questions

In addition to the personal essay which you will submit through the Common Application or QuestBridge, Barnard asks first-year applicants to respond to institution-specific short answer questions. We recommend spending time to thoughtfully consider these questions and your responses. Your answers to these questions, in conjunction with the rest of your application, will help the Admissions Committee understand how you may contribute to our community both academically and personally.

Below are the  2024  questions for first-year students.

  • Required:  Barnard College is an extraordinary community of women committed to fostering curiosity and the exploration of new experiences and ideas. By utilizing the resources of our campus, our Foundations curriculum, and New York City, our students expand their world and discover their own capabilities. How do you envision these intersecting components of Barnard shaping your academic and personal journey? (200 words max)
  • Required: Barnard College students engage in the bold questions that define their generation. Choose one question that you have about the world around you, and explain why it matters to you. (150 words max)
  • Required: In college, you will encounter others with diverse viewpoints and experiences. Describe an instance where you engaged with someone who held a different opinion and explain how it shaped your perspective on the issue. (150 words max)

*Please note that the questions may change from year to year.

Mostly Sunny

NCAA embarrasses itself with pathetic, too late punishment of Jim Harbaugh — Jimmy Watkins

  • Updated: Aug. 07, 2024, 3:07 p.m.
  • | Published: Aug. 07, 2024, 2:05 p.m.

harbaugh

Los Angeles Chargers head coach Jim Harbaugh fields questions during NFL football training camp Wednesday, July 24, 2024, in El Segundo, Calif. (AP Photo/Marcio Jose Sanchez) AP

  • Jimmy Watkins, cleveland.com

CLEVELAND, Ohio — Jim Harbaugh will not apologize or admit wrongdoing. He won’t ever face the “consequences” outlined by the NCAA Wednesday or whatever “punishment” they muster in the future.

If all goes according to plan, Harbaugh probably won’t ever coach college football again, which means he’ll never be held accountable for whatever rules he broke at Michigan.

Instead, he will laugh. College sports’ governing body wants to suspend the former Michigan coach for committing recruiting violations from which he has already benefited from, then lied about, then divorced himself from? Ooooooo, sounds scary. The NCAA wants to assign him a “show-cause penalty” related to a school he’s already shown the door? Ooooh noooooo, please don’t hurt me.

What’s next? No recess? I’m in timeout?

Jimmy Watkins

Stories by Jimmy Watkins

  • Why Browns fans shouldn’t care about Deshaun Watson’s training camp reps — Jimmy Watkins Jul. 31, 2024, 5:00a.m.
  • Why Cleveland Guardians owe fans a Yankees-esque move at 2024 MLB trade deadline — Jimmy Watkins Jul. 30, 2024, 5:00a.m.
  • Jim Harbaugh’s Michigan football shadow is impossible for Sherrone Moore to shed quickly — Jimmy Watkins Jul. 26, 2024, 5:00a.m.

Stop, it Jim. This is a serious issue. You’re being severely punished.

Sorry, you’re right. Let me call my lawyer:

“The way I see it, from Coach Harbaugh’s perspective, today’s COI decision is like being in college and getting a letter from your high school saying you’ve been suspended because you didn’t sign the yearbook,” Harbaugh lawyer Tom Mars said in a statement Wednesday.

“If I were in Coach Harbaugh’s shoes and had an $80 million contract as head coach of the Chargers, I wouldn’t pay any attention to the findings of a Kangaroo court which claims to represent the principles of the nation’s most flagrant, repeat violator of the federal antitrust laws.”

Translation: Nah nah, nah nah, boo boo. You can’t catch me, you lose.

By swinging a weightless hammer onto a coach who will never feel its pain, the NCAA has once again positioned itself as the arbiter of college football integrity. It did not actually execute any justice against Harbaugh. And the sport will not clean up, recalibrate or, really, change its mode of operation in any way as a result. But the NCAA did highlight a fundamental truth with Wednesday’s announcement:

The once-powerful four letters have lost authority over college football, leaving them grasping at the appearance of power.

This is what happens when you stick your head in the sand while college sports — particularly, college football — evolves under your feet. You refuse to govern name, image and likeness (NIL) long enough, schools make their own rules. You let TV networks grab power with their piggy banks, they shake out more coins and grab the sport’s reins. You do all of this and then flex your muscle on a former coach’s minor recruiting violation?

People stop taking you seriously.

If Wednesday’s big, bad, scary notice even wrinkled Harbaugh’s Chargers polo, it’s because he was doubled over and chortling.

If the NCAA expects any concession from Harbaugh’s camp, they’ll have to settle for Mars’ “I know you are, but what am I” statement. And if it accomplished anything by digging deep into Harbaugh’s recruiting infractions, it’s pushing Harbaugh, one of the sport’s greatest coaches and characters, to leave his alma mater right after completing a perfect season.

The total damage done:

One very serious suspension at a school where Harbaugh no longer coaches. A gut-wrenching, four-year show-cause penalty in a sport where — again — Harbaugh likely harbors no plan to return. And a Southern California tan that comes with an $80 million contract, a franchise quarterback in Justin Herbert and a new governing body that actually maintains control over its league.

Way to go, NCAA. You sure showed Harbaugh — and the rest of your sport — how much power you wield.

If you or a loved one has questions and needs to talk to a professional about gambling, call the Ohio Problem Gambling Helpline at 1-800-589-9966 or the National Council on Program Gambling Helpline (NCPG) at 1-800-522-4700 or visit 1800gambler.net for more information. 21+ and present in Ohio. Gambling problem? Call 1-800-Gambler.

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Published August 01, 2024

Announcing the 2024-2025 Common Application for NYU

Billy Sichel

Assistant Vice President of Undergraduate Admissions

It’s August 1st and that means the application at NYU has officially opened. This year, we’ve made some pretty big changes to NYU’s Common Application to simplify the process for our applicants, and to help us learn a little more about you!

When you start NYU’s member questions on the Common App, you’ll see 6 sections that you’ll need to complete. We give you a little bit of a head start by checking off the “Writing” section. This section is optional – but also new and exciting! More on that later.

Screenshot of Common Application

The General Information Section

In the “General” section, you’ll be asked a few questions about how you want us to handle your application – Early Decision I, Early Decision II, or Regular Decision? – and which campus you want to apply to. As you (hopefully!) already know, NYU has three degree-granting campuses: in New York, Abu Dhabi, and Shanghai. Our Common App will let you apply to any combination of our campuses.

Screenshot of General Section of Common Application

Once you make your campus selections, an additional set of questions will show up that are specific to your campus(es) of interest. Nothing too tricky here! You’ll be able to tell us about your academic area of interest for each campus, and a few other quick-and-easy questions about program eligibility, housing preferences, etc. so that we’re ready for you if you are ultimately admitted.

college essay joke

The Academics Section

Once you have those sections squared away, you’ll move on to the Academics section. This section will walk you through the information we’ll need you to submit outside of the Common App itself. Nothing to do here, except confirm that you’re clear on the next steps and additional requirements.

Screenshot Common App Academics Section

The Optional Supplemental Question

Now, the moment you’ve been waiting for: The optional, pre-checked-off Writing section. Last year, we made the decision to update our supplemental question. However, what we heard from our applicants was that people really wanted to tell us more! But the thing is…we already know why NYU is a great place to spend your 4 years, so we thought: if you want to tell us more about your passion for NYU, let’s make the question about you .

The new writing question says:

“In a world where disconnection seems to often prevail, we are looking for students who embody the qualities of bridge builders—students who can connect people, groups, and ideas to span divides, foster understanding, and promote collaboration within a dynamic, interconnected, and vibrant global academic community. We are eager to understand how your experiences have prepared you to build the bridges of the future. Please consider one or more of the following questions  in your  essay :

What personal experiences or challenges have shaped you as a bridge builder?

How have you been a bridge builder in your school, community, or personal life?

What specific actions have you taken to build bridges between diverse groups, ideas, or cultures?

How do you envision being a bridge builder during your time at our university and beyond?”

So, if it feels right for you to tell us a little more about yourself in the application, we want to know where you will turn to for inspiration, and what experiences have shaped you and resonate with you. Four years at NYU will propel you into a future you might not even be able to imagine yet, but take a minute (if you want – it really is optional!) to tell us about the ideas that have gotten you to this point, and those that might shape you into the person you’re about to become.

These are just a few of the changes we have made this year, so make sure to carefully read each question carefully before you answer them. If you ever have any questions for us about our questions, we are always here to help . We wish you the best of luck this application season, and can’t wait to learn more about you!

Billy Sichel

More from Billy:

How to Approach the Common Application

There’s no wrong way to approach the Common Application, but here’s two different strategies you might want to choose from when you apply to NYU.

Submitting a Transfer Application to NYU

Everything you need and everything you need to know about the transfer process.

Why You Should Start Your Common Application Early

There are many benefits to getting an early start on your Common Application to NYU.

Kamala Harris' VP pick Tim Walz has joked that Trump will attack his progressive policies, like giving Minnesota kids free school lunch and tuition-free college: 'What a monster!'

  • Kamala Harris selected Minnesota Gov. Tim Walz to be her vice president.
  • Walz has championed a range of progressive policies like free school lunch and tuition-free college.
  • He previously joked Trump would call him a "monster" for those policies.

Insider Today

America finally has a Democratic ticket for the presidential election, with Kamala Harris selecting Minnesota Gov. Tim Walz as her running mate.

He's already been preparing to face attacks from former President Donald Trump.

As a former high school teacher, Walz has championed education issues while serving Minnesota, including free college tuition for low-income families and free breakfast and lunch to students at participating schools in the state.

Along with education, Walz has pushed for legal protections for abortion, legalizing marijuana, and placing more restrictions on guns, all issues he said would likely face the wrath of Trump and other conservatives.

"What a monster! Kids are eating and having full bellies so they can go learn, and women are making their own healthcare decisions, and we're a top-five business state and we also rank in the top three of happiness," Walz told CNN during an interview on July 28. "Look, they're going to label whatever they're going to label."

Walz and Harris have similar track records on education policy. They both have supported free community college and stood behind efforts to forgive student debt for borrowers. Walz wrote on Twitter in 2018 that "student loan debt is a crisis in our state. Every student deserves a shot at a college education and soaring costs shouldn't stand in the way."

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Both Trump and his VP pick, JD Vance, have opposed student-loan forgiveness and have stood opposite progressive policies, like gun control and abortion rights. Trump's campaign sent out an email blast on Tuesday saying that Walz will "unleash HELL ON EARTH" and "rubber stamp Kamla's GREEN NEW SCAM and light TRILLIONS of dollars on fire."

Meanwhile, progressive lawmakers have lauded Harris' pick: Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez wrote on X that Harris made an "excellent decision," and "they won't back down under tight odds, either - from healthcare to school lunch."

Walz confirmed his candidacy on X, saying "Vice President Harris is showing us the politics of what's possible. It reminds me a bit of the first day of school." He'll continue to champion his progressive policies alongside Harris.

"The fact of the matter is, where you see the policies that Vice President Harris was a part of making, Democratic governors across the country executed those policies, and quality of life is higher, the economies are better, educational attainment is better," Walz told CNN "So yeah, my kids are going to eat here, and you're going to have a chance to go to college, and you're going to have an opportunity to live where we're working on reducing carbon emissions."

Have you taken advantage of free college tuition in your state? Share your story with this reporter at [email protected] .

Watch: Twitter Glitches Derail Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis' Presidential Announcement with Elon Musk

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Your chance of acceptance, your chancing factors, extracurriculars, funny college essay examples.

I've heard that humor can be a great way to stand out in the college application process. Does anyone have any examples of funny college essays that actually worked? I'd love to see how other students have successfully infused humor into their writing.

I agree that humor can be an effective way to stand out in the college application process, particularly in essays. For examples, take a look at this blog post from CollegeVine: https://blog.collegevine.com/should-you-be-funny-in-your-college-essay#examples

I'll also share some ways to effectively incorporate your humorous side based on what I've observed:

1. Self-deprecation: Making light of your own quirks or weaknesses can be endearing and show humility. For example, you might write about your inability to dance, but how you proudly own it at every school dance or social event for the greater good of everyone's entertainment.

2. Wordplay and puns: Witty wordplay can be an entertaining way to liven up your essay. For instance, suppose you're writing about your experience in a baking club. You could use phrases like "taking a whisk on new recipes," "rolling in dough," or "serving up pun-derfully delicious treats."

3. Unexpected twists: Surprise your reader by setting up an ordinary situation and then taking it in an unexpected direction. For instance, you may write about joining your school's running club to improve your speed, only to discover that your real talent was in motivating and supporting your teammates as their self-appointed cheerleader.

4. Hyperbole: Exaggerating aspects of your story can create humorous effects. If you're writing about the challenge of organizing a club event, you could playfully describe the arduous hours you spent negotiating with your school's administration as an "epic battle of wills" or compare securing the necessary equipment and resources to "assembling a fleet to conquer the seven seas."

Remember, while humor can be a useful tool, it's important to strike a balance with the tone of your essay. Use humor strategically and remember that the primary purpose of your essay is to showcase your personality, values, and achievements. Humor should augment your narrative, not overshadow it. Good luck, and happy writing!

About CollegeVine’s Expert FAQ

CollegeVine’s Q&A seeks to offer informed perspectives on commonly asked admissions questions. Every answer is refined and validated by our team of admissions experts to ensure it resonates with trusted knowledge in the field.

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My Favorite Simone Biles Moment Wasn’t When She Won Gold

A photograph of Rebeca Andrade, celebrating on the Olympic podium, while Simone Biles and Jordan Chiles bow on either side of her.

By Liriel Higa

Opinion Audience Director

GOAT. Most decorated. Winningest. It sounds hokey, but the most satisfying and joyful part of the Olympics for me is not which country is leading the medal count but when the best athletes in the world show their respect and admiration for one another, especially after an underperformance. On Monday, the last day of the artistic gymnastics competition, Simone Biles and Jordan Chiles, the Americans who took silver and bronze medals in the floor exercise final, showed such sportsmanship to Brazil’s Rebeca Andrade, who won gold.

During the medal ceremony, Biles and Chiles bowed down to the Brazilian as she climbed the podium to receive her medal. Andrade had already come in second to Biles in the all-around and vault event finals , but she took advantage of Biles’s two out-of-bounds landings to take first on floor.

Andrade was runner-up to Biles at the 2023 World Championships and second to Suni Lee at the Tokyo Olympics all-around. It may have been frustrating to keep coming in second, but she has been consistently supportive over the years, saying, for instance, that it was an “honor” to compete against Biles.

For her part, Biles has acknowledged her own fallibility, and reminded us that just because she makes winning look easy does not mean that it is. After the all-around final, Biles said of Andrade: “She’s way too close. I’ve never had an athlete that close, so it definitely put me on my toes, and it brought out the best athlete in myself.”

Of course, it’s easy to be gracious when you’ve won the gold. On Monday, in what might be her final Olympic performance, Biles took the silver on floor after a disappointing fifth-place finish on the balance beam. But when Chiles suggested that they bow down to Andrade, Biles eagerly agreed, creating one of the most iconic images from these Olympics.

Chiles explained their thinking during an interview after the competition. “Why don’t we just give her her flowers,” she said. “Not only has she given Simone her flowers, but a lot of us in the United States our flowers as well. So giving it back is what makes it so beautiful. So, I felt like it was needed.”

COMMENTS

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    The gist of our answer: if your personality is funny, feel free to be funny! As we've said, an important opportunity provided to you by the college essay is the opportunity to show your personality. Humor, if done correctly, can be an important part of that. That said, if you are only attempting humor because you think it is what admissions ...

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    As we wind down and get closer to decision day, I had a question for the sub: what's the most memorable college essay topic you've seen or read? This can be something your friend wrote, something you saw online, etc. It could be a funny topic or just a really well-written piece. Don't mention the Harvard letter S girl though lol.

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    Some people have a way of turning the simplest questions into unexpected essay answers. Click here to read 7 of the weirdest college admission essays ever.

  5. share all your funny/silly essay topics! : r/ApplyingToCollege

    share all your funny/silly essay topics! i wrote one supplemental about my tattoo of the snail from adventure time. lol last year i applied to caltech kinda last minute because i had some time. no idea what to write for the diversity essay, to be honest.

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    We love her as an example of a great essay because she pushed herself to be vulnerable and to be imperfect. She also did an amazing job of following our guidelines for writing an interesting, funny, and unique college essay, which automatically makes her one of our favorites.

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    The college essay is all about demonstrating yourself and displaying the side of your personality that sets you apart from the rest of the applicants. A funny essay is almost always a sure hit with the admissions officers as it shows a more authentic persona, one that is able to balance the rigors of academic life, and still knows how to have fun.

  9. Can my college essay be funny?

    Hi there! It's absolutely okay to use humor in your college essay. In fact, a well-placed joke or light-hearted anecdote can make your essay more memorable and showcase your personality. The key is to strike the right balance between humor and the overall message you want to convey.

  10. Can you use humor in college essays?

    To strike the right balance between humor and substance, start by brainstorming what aspects of your life or experiences you'd like to focus on. Inject humor in a way that highlights your voice and perspective, but avoid making the entire essay a comedy routine.

  11. 68 College Jokes That Prove Higher Learning Is Hilarious

    College jokes aren't just funny if you've been to college. They're universally funny. Or, to be more accurate, university funny. Here are 60 of our faves.

  12. How to Write Humor: Funny Essay Writing Tips

    How to Write Humor: Funny Essay Writing Tips. Humor brings people together and has the power to transform how we think about the world. Of course, not everyone is adept at being funny—particularly in writing. Making people laugh takes some skill and finesse, and, because so much relies on instinct, is harder to teach than other techniques.

  13. Humor in college essays : r/ApplyingToCollege

    write in your personality and if that includes humor, go for it! college admission officials are looking for real personality, something bold/brave, and an essay that makes them laugh while reading hundreds of others will stand out. just don't make the humor inappropriate and all good. 1. Reply. true.

  14. Can funny or humorous college essays be successful?

    Using humor in your college essay can certainly be successful, but it's important to approach it carefully. Humor can help you showcase your personality and make your essay more memorable, but it's also crucial to ensure that the humor doesn't overshadow the underlying message or fall flat with the reader.

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  18. Can I use humor in my application essay?

    You can use humor in a college essay, but carefully consider its purpose and use it wisely. An effective use of humor involves unexpected, keen observations of the everyday, or speaks to a deeper theme. Humor shouldn't be the main focus of the essay, but rather a tool to improve your storytelling. Get a second opinion from a teacher ...

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  22. How do I incorporate humor in my college essays?

    Well I was banking on the college admission officers to look at my face and laugh, but I am left in disappointment. How do I incorporate humor into…

  23. Can I use humor in my college essay?

    My own child had a dash of humor in their college essay about a personal growth experience, and they received positive feedback on how it brought their personality to life. In conclusion, using humor in moderation can add character to your essay and make it memorable, but be sure to include meaningful content as well.

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  29. Funny college essay examples?

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