she always to do her homework

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Does she do her homework?

She does her homework. Does she do her homework?

Why the questioning sentence is using "do"?

2 Answers 2

To ask a question, we need to use an auxiliary verb at the beginning of the sentence. In our case, the auxiliary verb is do : this is called do-support .

But since "she" is a singular third-person pronoun, we turn do into does . The first do carries the third-person ending s (or es ) instead of the second. So there's no reason to leave the second verb with the same ending.

She flew home. ("Flew" is the Past Tense form of "fly") Did she fly home?

Notice how the auxiliary verb do assumed the Past Tense form did , and the main verb fly now has no need to be in the Past Tense form: the auxiliary verb does this work.

The main verb contains the meaning, the auxiliary verb is a "helping verb".

In your example sentence, the first do (in the form does ) is an auxiliary verb , and the second do (in the form do ) is a main verb .

• 1 Very nicely did (American regionalism) –  TimR Commented Nov 30, 2014 at 18:42

The usual situation

When turning a statement into a question, we move the first word of the verb to the beginning of the sentence:

Statement: She is doing her homework. Question: Is she doing her homework?

An exception

If there is only one word in the verb, we use a form of to do to add a word to the verb, then move the added do :

Statement: She does her homework. Two-word verb: She does do her homework. Question: Does she do her homework?

Statement: She has a question. Two-word verb: She does have a question. Question: Does she have a question?

An exception to the exception

If the verb is a one-word form of to be , we can't use to do to add a word. All we can do is move the verb that exists.

Statement: She is a student . Mistake: She does is a student. Question: Is she a student?

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do in English – auxiliary and main verb

Is do an auxiliary or a main verb.

The verb do can be an auxiliary verb or a main verb in English.

1. do as a main verb

1.1. do as a main verb in simple present (do, does, don't, doesn't).

1.2. do as a main verb in Simple Past (did, didn't)

1.3. do as a main verb – past participle (done)

1.4. do as a main verb (Present Progressive, Gerund, present participle) – (doing)

2. do as an auxiliary

2.1. do as an auxiliary in negations in the simple present.

I do n't do my homework in the evenings.*

2.2. do as an auxiliary in negations in the Simple Past

I did n't do my homework yesterday evening.**

2.3. do as an auxiliary in quesions in the Simple Present

Do you like rugby? – Does he like rugby?

2.4. do as an auxiliary in quesions in the Simple Past

Did you see Peggy yesterday? When did you get up this morning?

2.5. do with the negative imparative

Do n't sing under the shower.

* Here we use do in the negative sentence as an auxiliary and do as a main verb .

** Here we use did in the negative sentence as an auxiliary and do as a main verb .

• You are here:
• Grammar Explanations
• Modal Auxiliaries

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• Writing Tips

Grammar: When to Use Do, Does, and Did

• 3-minute read
• 12th August 2022

Verbs are essential to creating complete sentences, as they help us express physical actions ( She jumped in the puddle) , mental actions ( He thought about puppies) , and states of being ( I am hungry) .

There are several types of verbs that can each be written in different tenses, so they can be tricky to work with, especially if English isn’t your first language . We’ve put together a guide to help you use one of the most common verbs, do , in your writing . Read on below to learn more!

Action Verbs

As the name suggests, action verbs are used to express actions completed by the subject of a sentence. The base verb do is conjugated according to the tense:

1. Present Tense

In the present tense, do takes the form do or does, depending on the subject:

Consider the following examples:

We do our homework every night.

   She does her homework every night.

2. Past Tense

In the simple past tense , the base verb do takes the form did with all subjects:

   We did our homework last night.

   She did her homework last night.

Auxiliary Verbs

Auxiliary , or helping verbs, are used with another base verb to create negative sentences, questions, or add emphasis. Here’s how do should be used as an auxiliary verb:

1. Negative Sentences

Following the same subject–verb pairings introduced above, we combine the auxiliaries do , does , and did with the adverb not to create negative sentences:

   We do not do our homework every night.

   She did not do her homework last night.

Note that we can combine the auxiliary and the adverb to create the contractions don’t , doesn’t , and didn’t . You simply remove the space between the two words and replace the letter o in not with an apostrophe (’).

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Contractions are more common in conversations and informal writing and typically shouldn’t be used in formal writing (e.g., academic or business).

2. Questions

To create questions, the auxiliary is combined with the infinitive of another verb in this way: auxiliary verb + subject + infinitive verb .

●  Simple present questions:

Do they sell children’s books?

Does he speak English?

Note that the third person verb speaks isn’t spelled with the s when paired with the auxiliary to form a question.

●  Simple past questions:

Did you buy anything at the bookstore?

Did he learn how to speak English?

Note that did indicates the past tense, so the main verbs don’t also take the past tense (i.e., bought and learned ).

3. Emphasis

In positive sentences, we can also combine the auxiliaries do , does , and did with the main verb to emphasize that something is true:

   We do sell children’s books.

   He did learn to speak English.

Try saying these sentences aloud and adding emphasis to the auxiliary terms with your tone. It adds a dramatic effect!

Proofreading and Editing Services

Hopefully, this guide will help you feel more confident when using different forms of the verb do in your writing. If you’re still learning or want to be sure your work is error-free, our editors are ready to help. You can upload a free trial document today to learn more!

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Continuous Tenses and Meaning Quiz

You can do this grammar quiz online or print it on paper. It tests what you learned on the Continuous Tenses and Meaning page.

1. I told my teacher that I _________ what she said.

2. I ________ the number 12 bus just down the road.

3. At the moment Maria ________ her homework, as she does every day.

4. The baby ________ 21 inches long.

5. Please be quiet. I ________ to the radio.

6. Everything on the menu ________ delicious.

7. Why ________ so selfish about this?

8. Was he on time or was he ________ ?

9. He told the police he'd only had a small drink and was ________ not to drive too fast.

10. Is she always ________ with children and animals?

Your score is:

Correct answers:

Exercises on Conditional Sentences (Mix)

Type i or ii.

Complete the Conditional Sentences. Decide whether to use Type I or II.

• If they go to Washington, they (see) the White House.
• If she (have) a hamster, she would call him Fred.
• If he gave her a sweet, she (stop) crying.
• If he (arrive) later, he will take a taxi.
• We would understand him if he (speak) slowly.
• Andy (cook) dinner if we buy the food.
• I will prepare breakfast if I (wake up) early.
• If they shared a room, they (fight) all day long.
• If you hate walking in the mountains, you (enjoy / not) the tour.
• Janet would go jogging if she (have / not) to do her homework.

Chapter 3: Simple Present

Daily Habits & Routines

Learning Goals

At the end of this chapter you should be able to:

• Add -s for the third person singular verb
• Write yes/no questions and short answers
• Write information questions using wh- question words
• Add the plural marker -s ,-es, and -ies to verbs and nouns

Recognize and use

• the simple present in the affirmative and negative
• adverbs of frequency

Activity 3.1: Conversation

Directions: Ask your partner or group the following questions about your morning routines. A “routine” is a habit you usually do or a series of actions you do regularly.

• What do you do before school?
• Do you ever wake up late? Do you usually wake up early?
• Do you drink coffee or tea in the morning?
• Do you do your homework in the morning, in the afternoon, in the evening, or at night?
• How long does it take for you to get ready in the morning?
• How long does it take you to get to campus? Do you live close or far from campus?
• How do you get to campus? Drive? Bike? Bus? Walk? Carpool? Dropped-off?

Directions: Read this story out loud with a partner. One person reads a paragraph, then the other person reads the next paragraph. When you are finished, read the story again. This time, read the paragraphs, you did not read.

Yuri & Palani

       Hi! My name is Yuri. I am from Ukraine. I am a student at Clackamas Community College. I have a roommate. His name is Palani. He is from Laos. We live together, but we are very different.

       I wake up early at 6:00 am. Palani pushes the snooze button on his alarm clock many times, so he wakes up very late. He gets up at 7:30 am. I take a shower in the morning, but Palani takes a shower at night. I take a shower at 6:15 am. He takes a shower at 9:00 pm. I eat breakfast at home, but Palani doesn’t eat breakfast. I make coffee, and I eat cereal for breakfast. I bike to school, but Palani drives to school. I am never late. I leave at 7:30 am.  Palani leaves at 7:50 am. I arrive at school early, but Palani arrives late. I arrive at school at 7:45 am. Palani arrives at 8:05 am. Palani sometimes arrives late because he can’t find parking. We are friends, so I always save him a seat next to me. We sit with Jacques and Ana. They arrive early too. Class begins at 8:00 am.

       How often do you arrive late to class? Are you similar to me, or are you more similar to Palani?

Activity 3.2: Comprehension

Directions: Please write the answers to the questions in complete sentences.

1. What is the name of the man who is talking?

___________________________________________________________________

2. What is the name of his roommate?

3. What is Yuri comparing?

4. Who wakes up early? Who wakes up late?

5. What time does class begin?

6. Who arrives late? Who arrives on time?

7. How about you? Are you an early riser or a late riser?

8. What time does Yuri wake up? What time does Palani wake up?

Activity 3.3: Noticing

Part 1 Directions: Look at the story about Yuri and Palani. Choose (by underlining or otherwise markin g)  the verbs you find. Don’t choose the BE verb. We are not studying that verb in this chapter.

Part 2 Directions: Complete the table with the verb forms that agree with each subject.

Activity 3.4: Try It Out!

Directions: Write the correct simple present tense form of the verb (in parentheses) on the line.

1. I (wake up)_________________________ at 6:00 am.

2. He (wake up)_________________________ at 7:30 am.

3. You (eat)_________________________ breakfast on the bus.

4. They (take)_________________________ a shower before bed.

5. He (take)_________________________ a shower in the morning.

6. We (go) _________________________ to a restaurant for lunch.

7. She (have)_________________________ cereal for breakfast.

8. His class at Oregon City (begin)_________________________ at 9:00 am.

9. My classes at Harmony (begin)_________________________ at 6:00 pm.

10. She (wash) _________________________ the dishes in the morning.

Uses of the Simple Present

The simple present is used for talking about routines, habits, and repeated activities in the present time. We use the simple present to talk about facts, which are always true. Time expressions (e.g., every day, in the summer ) and adverbs of frequency (e.g., never, sometimes, always ) signal the simple present tense.

What is a routine? Something you do every morning, every week, every year.

• I brush my teeth two times a day.
• You go to the gym three times a week.
• He makes breakfast for my children every morning.
• She starts work at 7:00 am.
• They do laundry every Saturday.

What is a habit? Something you do regularly.

• My husband reads in bed before he goes to sleep.
• My cat wakes me up on Saturdays because he is hungry.

What is a repeated action? Action that we do more than once.

• I shop at Winco (not every week, but I like to go there).
• She wears shorts in the summer.

What is a fact? Something that is always true.

• The moon revolves around the earth.
• She has two children.
• Vegetables are healthy.
• Water boils at 212 degrees Fahrenheit.

Forms of the Simple Present

Affirmative statements in the simple present.

You must add an -s to the verb with the subjects he , she , and it .

subject + verb

Activity 3.5: Fill-in-the-Blank

Directions: Write the correct form of the verbs in parentheses.

1. Yuri (wake up)______________ at 6:00 am.

2. Palani (drive)______________ to school.

4. Yuri (make)______________ coffee.

5. I (cook)______________ breakfast.

6. She (eat)______________ cereal.

7. Palani (take)______________ a shower in the evening.

8. They (carpool)______________ together.

9. She (ask)______________ for a pencil.

10. Yuri and Palani (attend) ______________ Clackamas Community College.

11. We (attend) ______________ Clackamas Community College.

12. I (take)______________ a shower in the morning.

13. He (make)______________ and (drink)______________ coffee every morning.

14. She never (arrive)______________ late.

15. Class (begin)______________ at 11:30 am.

16. He usually (find)______________ parking easily.

17. Palani (live)______________ with Yuri.

18. They (brush) ______________ their hair in the morning.

19. We (brush)______________ our teeth twice a day.

20. My cats (sleep)______________ all day.

Activity 3.6: Listening

Directions: Read the paragraph. Then, listen to your instructor read the paragraph. Listen for the verbs and write them on the line. Listen closely for the correct form of the verb.

Ana and Pedro’s Morning Routine

        Ana and Pedro (1)__________ at 6:00 am. Ana (2)__________ coffee. Her brother, Pedro, (3)__________breakfast. She (4)__________a shower at 6:30 am. Her brother (5)__________ a shower at 7:00 am. They (6)__________ and (7)__________ their teeth. Ana (8)__________ the cat. Ana (9)__________ her hair and (10)__________ makeup. Pedro (11)__________ his hair. Ana’s book bag (12)__________ready. Pedro (13)__________ his books in his backpack. Ana (14)__________lunches. Class (15)__________ at 9:00 am. Ana and Pedro (16)__________ the house at 8:30 am. They (17)__________ at school at 8:45 am. Ana (18)__________ out books from the college library before class. She always (19)__________ good books to read. Ana and Pedro (20)__________ to class at 8:55 am. Their first class (21)__________ at 10:50 am.

Activity 3.7: Interview

Part 1 Directions: Interview your partner.

1. Where do you live?

2. What time do you wake up?

3. When do you eat breakfast?

4. What do you eat for breakfast?

5. How do you get to school (walk, bus, car, etc.)?

6. What time do you go to school?

7. What time do you get home?

8. When do you go to bed?

Part 2 Directions: Write 8 sentences about your own daily routine using the same questions.

1. ________________________________________________________________

2. ________________________________________________________________

3. ________________________________________________________________

4. ________________________________________________________________

5. ________________________________________________________________

6. ________________________________________________________________

7. ________________________________________________________________

8. ________________________________________________________________

Part 3 Directions: Share and compare your daily activities. Read your sentences to your partner. Your partner reads to you. See if you have the same (or different) daily activities.

Part 4 Directions: Your instructor will give you a Venn Diagram to complete. Write sentences about yourself where it says You. Write sentences about your partner where it says Partner. If you and your partner have any activities that are the same, write them where it says both.

Adverbs of Frequency with the Simple Present

Adverbs of frequency (AoF) let us talk about how often we do something.

How often do you come to class?      I always come to class!

How often do you shop at Fred’s?     I often shop at Fred’s.

Study the chart below to learn the meanings of the following adverbs.

Adverbs of Frequency (AoF) with the BE Verb 

With the BE verb, the AoFs are added between BE and the rest of the sentence. You will see in the next section that this is different with other verbs.

subject + BE + AoF + rest of sentence

Activity 3.8: Fill-in-the-Blank

Directions: Put the correct form of the BE verb followed by the AoF on the line.

1. I (be/always) _____________________________________ late.

2. He (be/never) _____________________________________ on time.

3. She (be/often) _____________________________________ busy on Saturday.

4. It (be/never) _____________________________________ cold in August.

5. You (be/usually) _____________________________________ cold in the morning.

6. We (be/never) _____________________________________ hungry in the morning.

7. They (be/seldom) _____________________________________ tired at 9:00  pm.

8. You (be/rarely) _____________________________________ late for school.

9. He (be/sometimes) _____________________________________ tired after work.

10. It (be/usually) _____________________________________ sunny in Los Angeles.

Activity 3.9: Fill-in-the-Blank

1. Class (usually)___________________________ interesting.

2. They (often)___________________________ busy.

3. I (always)___________________________ friendly.

4. You (never)___________________________ hungry after lunch.

5. She (always)___________________________ hungry at 3:00 pm.

6. He (rarely)___________________________ on time for class.

7. They (sometimes)___________________________ confused in class.

8. You (often)___________________________ sleepy.

Adverbs of Frequency with Other Verbs

But, what if we want to say how often we do some activity? In that case, we don’t use the BE verb. We use another verb, like eat, sleep, cook, drive, or talk.

Instead of adding the AoF after the verb, like we did with the BE verb, we add it before the verb. We do this because we are saying how often the activity of the verb happens.

subject + AoF + verb + rest of sentence

We use the AoF to talk about how often or how frequently something happens.

How often do you eat breakfast? I always eat breakfast.

In the sentence above, we are saying how often we eat breakfast (always).

How often does he cook dinner? He usually cooks dinner.

In the sentence above, we are saying how often he cooks dinner. (usually).

How often do they walk to school? They never walk to school.

In the sentence above, we are saying how often they walk to school (never).

Activity 3.10: Fill-in-the-Blank

Directions: Write the Adverb of frequency (AoF) and the verb in the correct form on the line.

When we use any verb except the BE verb, the AoF goes before the verb.

1. I (never/eat) ___________________ breakfast.

2. You (often/do) ___________________ laundry on Saturdays.

3. He (usually/swim) ___________________ on weekends.

4. She (never/sing) ___________________ karaoke.

5. It (rarely/rain) ___________________ in July.

6. They (seldom/watch) ___________________ movies.

7. We (always/do) ___________________ our homework.

8. She (sometimes/make)___________________ the bed.

Activity 3.11: Fill-in-the-Blank

Directions: Put the AoF and the verb in the correct order.

Ana and Pedro (wake up) _______________________________ at 6:00 am.

Our class (start) _________________________________________ at 6:00 pm.

The college (cancel) ________________________ classes because of snow.

The teacher (give) ____________________________________ us homework.

Vegetarians (eat) ________________________________________ vegetables.

The students (sleep) ____________________________________ during class.

7. sometimes

Ana (make) _________________________________________ lunch for Pedro.

Students (speak) ____________________________________ English in class.

Activity 3.12: Classmate Interview

Part 2 Directions: Choose 5 of the questions (and answers) from Part 1. On your own lined paper, use the answers to write sentences about your classmate’s activities. Remember to use adverbs of frequency. Turn this in to your teacher. Write your name, the date, and Activity 3.12 on the top of your paper.

Activity 3.13: Game

Directions: The purpose of this game is to practice using adverbs of frequency. Your teacher will give you some AoF game cards (often, sometimes, never).

• Stand up and find a partner.
• Ask your partner a question. Begin the sentence “How often…”
• The partner answers the question using an AoF.
• If your partner answers your question using the AoF that you have in your hand, give your partner the card.
• If your partner answers using an AoF that you don’t have, then change to another student and try again.
• You can only ask two questions before you need to change partners.
• You can only talk to the same person after you have talked with all your other classmates.
• Talk to as many partners as you can. When you have no more cards, sit down.

The goal of the game is to give away all of your cards.

Student 1: How often do you eat french fries for breakfast?

Student 2: I never eat french fries for breakfast.

(Student 1 gives the card saying “never” to Student 2)

Student 1: How often do you do your homework?

Student 2: I usually do my homework.

(Student 1 doesn’t have a ”usually” card. Student 1 changes partners and tries again.)

Ideas for Questions: How often do you…

wash your hair?

eat at a restaurant?

call your brother?

walk to school?

Pronunciation and Spelling: Adding -s and -es

We add -s and -es for two reasons:

1. The word is a noun, and we are making it plural.

2. The word is a verb, and it agrees with the subject (he, she, or it–3rd person singular)

Pronunciation

In English the same letters can have different sounds. For example, the letter “c” can sound like /k/ in cat , but it can also sound like /s/ in ice .

For words that end in -s or -es, there are three different sounds: /s/, /z/, and /ɪz/. We can predict how the -s or -es ending will sound by the last sound of the word before we add the -s or -es ending.

/θ/=th as in bath   /ð/=th as in that   /ʤ/=j as in judge    /tʃ/=ch as in church     /ʃ/=sh as in wash

Activity 3.14: Pronunciation

Activity 3.15: Listening

Directions: Listen to the teacher say a list of words and then sentences. You will hear each word or sentence two times. Decide if the ending sound is  /s/, /z/, or /ɪz/ and choose (by circling or otherwise marking) your choice.

1.    /s/      /z/      /ɪz/

2.   /s/      /z/      /ɪz/

3.   /s/      /z/      /ɪz/

4.   /s/      /z/      /ɪz/

5.   /s/      /z/      /ɪz/

6.   /s/       /z/      /ɪz/

7.   /s/       /z/      /ɪz/

8.   /s/       /z/      /ɪz/

9.   /s/       /z/      /ɪz/

10. /s/       /z/      /ɪz/

11.  /s/      /z/      /ɪz/

12.  /s/      /z/      /ɪz/

13.  /s/      /z/      /ɪz/

14.  /s/      /z/      /ɪz/

15.  /s/      /z/      /ɪz/

Activity 3.16: Listening & Speaking

Part 1 Directions: Identify which of the three ending sounds (/s/, /z/, or /ɪz/) is at the end of each of the target words. Write the sound symbol on the line.

/s/                /z/              /ɪz/

1.  changes _____

2.  crabs _____

3.  dishes _____

4.  touches _____

5.  helps _____

6.  books _____

7.  pencils _____

8.  sleeps _____

9.  mixes _____

10. kisses _____

11.  The students eat breakfast. _____

12.  My sister walks her dog. _____

13.  The dogs eat peanut butter. _____

14.  The student catches the bus. _____

15.  I have three cats.     _____

16.  Most teachers have pets. _____

17.  She writes a book.     _____

18.  Natasha buys food.     _____

19.  Yuri wakes up on time. _____

20.  She sees her daughter. _____

Part 2 Directions: With a partner, say the word or sentence. Your partner will point to the sound they hear.

If a word ends in /s/,  /z/,  /ch/,  /sh/  or  /x/ sound    →    add -es

Only add -es for the he/she/it form of the verb (third person singular).

watch   →   watches

wash    →   washes

kiss      →    kisses

I pass out papers.    →    She passes out papers.

I wash the dishes.   →    He washes the dishes.

Activity 3.17: Fill-in-the-Blank

Directions: Write the correct form of the verb in parentheses on the lines.

1. (watch) I __________ TV in the morning, but she ________ TV at night.

2. (wash) They ________ dishes together after dinner. He ________ dishes on  weekends.

3. (fix) My father and I _________ cars together. My husband ________ the bicycle.

4. (teach) They  ________ their daughter Ukrainian. Eva ________ her son Amharic.

5. (brush) I ________ my teeth twice a day. He _______ three times a day.

6. (kiss) She _______ her husband in the morning. I ________ my children before bed.

7. (stretch) I always ________ before exercise. Viktor ________ after exercise.

8. (guess) I never ________ the answer, but Tatiana often ________ the answer.

9. (mix) She ________ Spanish and English. They _______ English and Ukranian.

10. (splash) The kids ______ in the bathtub. My daughter always ________, too.

11. (cash) I ______ my check at the bank. He _________ his check too.

12. (latch) I ________ my screen door. She ________ her screen door.

13. (notice) I always ________ mistakes. She never ________ mistakes when she writes.

14. (touch) He ________ the door. We ________ the window.

15. (brush) They  ________ their hair once a day. He _________ his hair three times a day.

16. (pass) She ________ all her classes. They ________ their ESL classes.

17. (ask) I ________ for vegetarian food. Natasha ________ for Ukrainian food.

18. (ask) He ________ a question. We ________ to play a game.

19. (watch) She ________ Jackie Chan movies. They ________ Jet Li movies.

20. (dance) I ______ twice a week. He ________ once a week.

Activity 3.18: Listening

Directions: Read the story. Then listen to your teacher read the story. Listen for the missing words and write them on the line. Remember that the subject and the verb of a sentence have to agree. If they don’t agree, you should listen again. Some verbs end in -s and some verbs end in -es.

Viktor and Tatiana

        Viktor and Tatiana (1)_________ married. They (2)_________ English at Clackamas Community College. They (3)_________ from Ukraine. Tatiana sometimes (4)_________ angry with Viktor because he doesn’t help around the house. Tatiana (5)_________ dinner and Viktor (6)_________ TV. Tatiana (7)_________ the house, and Viktor (8)_________ English.

Then Tatiana remembers that Viktor (9)_________ the car while she (10)_________ books. In the grocery store, he always (11)_________ the shopping cart. He (12)_________ for her when she is sick. He also (13)_________ the socks when they (14)_________ movies at home. On school nights, Viktor (15)_________ the dishes after Tatiana cooks. He (16)_________ her every day when they leave the house, and he (17)_________ her every night before they (18)_________ asleep. Then Tatiana isn’t angry anymore.

If a word ends in a consonant plus -y, change -y to i and add -es. If the word ends in a vowel plus -y, just add -s.

Consonant + -y

Change -y to i and add -es

cry       →   cries

study   →   studies

pay      →   pays

buy      →   buys

Activity 3.19: Fill-in-the-Blank

Directions: Write the correct form of the verb on the line in the sentences below.

1. (study) I ___________ in the morning, but he ___________ at night.

2. (worry) He ___________ about money. I ___________ about him.

3. (cry) The cat ___________ when I leave. The babies  ___________ all the time.

4. (play) She ___________ piano. We ___________ violin.

5. (pay) I ___________ for groceries with a credit card. Tatiana ___________ with cash.

6. (stay) He ___________ after class for help. They ___________ after class to talk.

7. (stay) She ___________ at a hotel. I ___________with my mom.

8. (worry) My husband ___________ about school. I ___________ about our health.

9. (enjoy) We ___________ playing board games. He ___________ online games.

10. (say) They ___________ they are busy Friday, but she ___________ Friday is ok.

11. (fly) A bird ___________ south in winter. Birds ___________ north for the summer.

12. (buy) They ___________ paper online. She ___________ supplies at the store..

13. (fly) He ___________ to Paris today. I ___________ to Denver tomorrow.

14. (study) We ___________ before vocabulary tests. She ___________ for grammar.

15. (pay) He ___________ for 2 classes. I ___________ for 3 classes.

16. (try)     I ___________ to study 3 times a week. She ___________ to study every day.

Activity 3.20: Listening

Using infinitives with like, want, & need.

Some verbs can be combined with an infinitive (to + verb) to express a different meaning or opinion about the activity.

Activity 3.21: Fill-in-the-Blank

Part 1 Directions: Complete the sentences by writing like, want, or need on the line.

1. I ___________ to pay my rent.

2. She ___________ to study for the test.

3. They  ___________ to buy a diamond necklace.

4. You ___________ to have an expensive new car.

5. I ___________ to read a book before bed to help me sleep.

6. You ___________ to do your homework.

7. We ___________ to eat dessert first.

8. I ___________ to sleep until 10:00 am, but I __________ to get up because work starts at 7:00 am.

Negative Statements in the Simple Present

Negatives with the be verb, activity 3.22: writing.

Directions: Make these sentences negative by adding not after the verb.

1. She is a hairdresser.

2. He is busy today.

3. They are from Colombia.

4. He is a contractor.

5. It is sunny.

6. They are students.

7. He is a teacher.

8. The dog is in the garden.

Negatives with All Other Verbs

Using auxiliary verbs.

There are three auxiliary verbs in English: BE, DO, and HAVE. We will learn about BE and DO in this class. We will learn about using HAVE as an auxiliary in the next level. You have already seen the first of our three auxiliary verbs, BE, in Chapter 2. We combine the BE verb with the -ing form of the verb to create the present progressive (an action happening now).

When we make negative sentences with other verbs, we use the auxiliary verb, DO. It has two forms: do and does . The negative not comes after do or does and is followed by the base form of the main verb.

The base form is the infinitive without the to . Instead of “to sing” (infinitive), the base form is sing . Do not add -s to the base verb. Let’s look at an example sentence.

subj      do/does    neg.     base verb     rest of sentence

He         does           not        sing               in the shower.

• He is the subject
• Does is the auxiliary verb. Do/Does agrees with the subject (3rd person singular: add -es).
• Sing is the main verb in the base form. Do not add -s to the main verb.

subject + auxiliary DO + not + base form + rest of sentence

Negative Contractions

To make negative contractions, we contract the auxiliary verb and the negative.

Activity 3.23:  Choose the Correct Form

Directions: Choose the correct form, and then write the contraction on the line. Remember that the auxiliary DO (do/does) has to agree with the subject.

1. The teacher do not / does not eat meat.                                                 ___________________

2. I am a homemaker. I do not / does not work outside my home.    ___________________

3. She is a driver. She do not / does not work in an office.                     ___________________

4. He is a vegetarian. He do not / does not eat meat.                             ___________________

5. They do not / does not drink coffee in the evening.                            ___________________

6. Palani do not / does not like to wake up early.                                     ___________________

7. Yuri do not / does not want to come to school late.                            ___________________

8. Yuri do not / does not press snooze on his alarm clock.                    ___________________

9. They do not / does not have the same habits.                                     ___________________

10. It do not / does not  look like a good book.                                         ___________________

11. The students do not / does not do their homework.                        ___________________

12. He do not / does not get good grades on tests.                                ___________________

Activity 3.24: Fill-in-the-Blank

Directions: Write the correct form of do or does on the line.

1. (do/sing)        She ___________ not ___________ in public.

2. (do/write)     They ___________ not ___________ on the wall.

3. (do/drive)     He ___________ not ___________ for a job.

4. (do/ask)        You ___________ not ___________ for a diamond ring.

5. (do/play)       We ___________ not ___________ guitar.

6. (do/like)        The dog ___________ not ___________ my cat.

7. (do/type)       She ___________ not ___________ fast.

8. (do/read)       He ___________ not ___________ online.

Activity 3.25: Writing

Directions: Make these sentences negative. Use full forms for numbers 1-5 and contractions for numbers 6-10.

1. I go to work at 3:00 pm.

2. She wants to eat Chinese food.

3. They have two children.

4. He has a dog and two cats.

5. You need to stand in line.

6. She finishes her homework.

7. I eat breakfast.

8. You drink coffee.

9. He drinks diet soda.

10. My car has red seats.

Activity 3.26: Interview

Part 1 Directions: Use the sentences below to interview your partner. Take notes on your own lined paper.

Student A: Tell me a food you don’t like.

Student B: I don’t like eggs.

2. Tell me a movie you don’t like.

3. Tell me a place you don’t like.

4. Tell me a sport you don’t like.

5. Tell me a color you don’t like.

6. Tell me a singer or band you don’t like.

7. Tell me a type of music you don’t like.

8. Tell me a book you don’t like.

Part 2 Directions: Now, write 5 sentences about your partner. Use your notes to help you.  Write your partner’s answers in FULL sentences.

Yes/No Questions & Short Answers

Yes/No questions mean that the answer to the question is either yes or no . These questions don’t use wh- question words. Remember, when we use an auxiliary verb, the main verb is in the base form. The auxiliary verb goes before the subject and the main verb goes after the subject.

auxiliary DO + subject + base verb + rest of sentence

Short Answers

Short answers are quick answers to yes/no questions. Remember that if the question uses the BE verb, use the BE verb in your answer. If the auxiliary DO is used in the question, then use DO in the answer.

Do you have cats?    Yes, I do.

Are you a teacher?    Yes, I am.

Do you drink coffee in the morning?      Yes, I do.

Does he drink coffee in the morning?    No, he doesn’t.

Activity 3.27: Fill-in-the-Blank

Directions: Complete the questions with the missing auxiliary verb and subject.

A: Does she wake up early?

B: No, she doesn’t.

1. A:___________________ do her homework every day?

B: Yes, she does.

2. A:___________________ wash the dishes after dinner?

B: Yes, he does.

3. A:___________________ eat dinner together?

B: Yes, they do.

4. A:___________________ work late every day?

5. A:___________________ drive to school?

6. A:___________________ study vocabulary?

B: Yes, I do.

7. A:___________________ eat lunch at home?

B: No, we don’t.

8. A:___________________ ask questions?

9. A:___________________ practice English at the grocery store?

10. A:___________________ do laundry on Saturdays?

Activity 3.28: Game

Information questions in the simple present.

We have seen several lists of wh- question words in previous chapters. Here is a bigger list. You can practice making questions with the new words and review the ones you have seen in Chapters 1 and 2.

* What time asks about specific time. When asks about general time.

What time does class start?     Class starts at 9:00 am.

When is your birthday?         My birthday is in August.

We form information questions (sometimes called wh- questions) the same as yes/no questions. Add the question word (who, what, where, when, what time, etcetera) to the beginning of the question.

wh- + auxiliary DO + subject + main verb

Activity 3.29: Choose the Correct Form

Directions: Choose the correct question word.

1. Who/What is your teacher?                            My teacher is Susan.

2. Where/What is your address?                        My address is 19 Molalla Ave, Oregon City.

3. Where/When do you wake up?                      I wake up at 7:30 am.

4. Why/Who do you have an umbrella?           Because it’s raining.

5. How/Where do you take ESL?                         I take ESL classes at CCC.

6. When/What do you work?                               I work at 5:00 pm.

7. Why/How do you get to school?                     I take the bus.

8. What/How do you cook hotdogs?                 I boil them, but some people grill them.

9. How much/How often milk do you want?   I want 1 cup.

10. How many/Why cookies do you want?       I want 2 dozen.

Activity 3.30: Fill-in-the-Blank

Directions: Fill in the blank with the correct question word.

1. A:___________ do you go to work?

B: I go to work at 5:00 am.

2. A:___________ is he wearing a sweater?

B: He’s cold.

3. A:___________ do you study vocabulary?

B: I use vocabulary cards.

4. A:___________ are they from?

B: They’re from Italy.

5. A:___________ are you doing?

B: I’m doing my homework.

6. A:___________ often do you sleep in?

B: I sleep in on Saturdays.

7. A:___________ time does class start?

B: Class starts at 6:00 pm.

8. A:___________ do you study?

B: I study at the library.

9. A:___________ is your favorite actor?

B: My favorite actor is Brad Pitt.

10. A:___________ many classes do you take?

B: I take three classes each term.

Activity 3.31: Interview

Directions: Your instructor will give you a worksheet that you can use to interview a classmate.

• Match the wh- question word with the question. You can only use a word one time.
• When you finish matching you will have 10 questions and 10 answers. Choose 5 questions to ask your classmate.
• Write the answers to the 5 questions below.

1. ___________________________________________________________________

2. ___________________________________________________________________

3. ___________________________________________________________________

4. ___________________________________________________________________

5. ___________________________________________________________________

Activity 3.32: Error Correction

Directions: There are 10 mistakes in the paragraph below. Find the mistakes with the simple present, adverbs of frequency, negative sentences, or -s / -es endings and correct them.

My name is Jacques. I lives next to Yuri and Palani. I am a student at CCC also. I arrive always early to class. My brother drive me to school. I do not drives. I eat lunch with my friends. We eat often at Ana and Pedro’s house. I doesn’t cook. After class, always I study in the library. I finishes my homework in the afternoon. I study with my friend. My friend Palani finish his homework at night. I live with my family. My mother cook dinner for the family. She wash the dishes after dinner. I dry them.

Activity 3.33: Writing

Directions: Rewrite these sentences to include the adverb of frequency (AoF) in parentheses.

1. (usually) We eat dinner outside in summer.

2. (always) I wear slippers in the house.

3. (never) My family wakes up early.

4. (sometimes) My friends and I watch movies on Fridays.

5. (rarely) We eat uncooked food.

6. (often) They are late to class.

7. (never) I finish my homework on the computer.

8. (seldom) She takes her dog to the dog park.

9. (usually) You are on time.

10. (rarely) She eats fast food.

11. (never) It snows in August.

12. (always) It rains in October.

13. (often) We have homework.

14. (never) They forget books at home.

Activity 3.34: Writing

Directions: Write the question on the line below. Use the answer for extra information. Some questions are wh-questions, and some are yes/no questions.

1. A: ______________________________________________________________

B: I wake up at 8:00 am.

2. A: ______________________________________________________________

B: Yes, I do (I have a dog.)

3. A:_______________________________________________________________

B: My birthday is in August.

4. A: ______________________________________________________________

B: No, I don’t. (I don’t do my homework in the morning.)

5. A: ______________________________________________________________

B: I take a shower in the morning.

6. A: ______________________________________________________________

B: I arrive early for class.

7. A: ______________________________________________________________

B: He drives to school.

8. A: ______________________________________________________________

B: He washes the dishes every day.

9. A: ______________________________________________________________

B: Yes, I do. (I exercise 3 times a week.)

10. A: ______________________________________________________________

B: I eat fast food once a month.

Directions: Write a paragraph comparing your daily schedule with a partner’s daily schedule. Use the simple present tense, adverbs of frequency, and time expressions.

Pre-writing: 

• Write 6 questions to ask your partner. Use 6 different wh-question words. There is a place to write each question in the chart that follows.
• Answer the 6 questions for yourself.
• Choose a partner, ask your questions, and then write down your partner’s answers.

• Use your own 8.5″ x 11″ lined paper. Do not use other paper sizes, please.
• Heading: Put your full name, the due date, and Ch. 3 Writing Assignment at the top of your paper. Your instructor will tell you where the heading goes (left or right side).
• Indent the first sentence, skip lines (double space), and leave a 1-inch margin on the sides and bottom.

Writing and Grammar:

• First sentence: begin writing by using this topic sentence: [Partner’s name] and I are classmates, but we are very different.
• In your sentences, write your answer and your partner’s answer.
• Use 3 adverbs of frequency.
• Write 2 negative sentences.
• Use full forms; do not use contractions.
• Use capital letters and punctuation correctly.
• Use the rubric below to check your work.

Model Paragraph:

My partner and I are classmates, but we are very different. I get up very early at 5:00am. My partner doesn’t get up early. She often gets up at 9:00am. I usually drink coffee in the morning, but my partner doesn’t like coffee. She likes tea instead. I have two children, so I am busy with them. My partner is married, but she doesn’t have any children. I leave for school at 8:30am. My partners never goes straight to school. She goes to her parents house first. She always helps them because they are very old. My parents are still young at age 50 and 55.

Assignment Rubric:

Self-Assessment

These were our goals at the beginning of Chapter 3:

At the end of this chapter you will be able to:

• Add -s , -es, and -ies to verbs and nouns

Directions: Choose yes if you think you achieved the goals or no in the table below if you think you did not achieve the goals. Then, write an example of the goal in the last column.

Explorations 1: Grammar for the Experienced Beginner Copyright © by Susan; Jen; and Kit is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 4.0 International License , except where otherwise noted.

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Home / Expert Articles / Child Behavior Problems / School & Homework

“My Child Refuses to Do Homework” — How to Stop the Nightly Struggle Over Schoolwork

By janet lehman, msw.

For many parents, getting their kids to do their homework is a nightly struggle. Some kids refuse to do their homework. Others claim that they don’t have homework, but then the report card comes out, and you realize that their work was not being done.

So why is homework time so difficult? In my opinion, one of the major reasons is that it’s hard for kids to focus at home. Look at it this way: when your child is in school, they’re in a classroom where there aren’t a lot of distractions. The learning is structured and organized, and all the students are focusing on the same thing.

But when your child comes home, their brain clicks over to “free time” mode. In their mind, home is a place to relax, have a snack, listen to music, and play video games. Kids simply don’t view the home as the place to do schoolwork.

If the homework struggles you experience are part of a larger pattern of acting out behavior, then the child is resisting to get power over you. They intend to do what they want to do when they want to do it, and homework just becomes another battlefield. And, as on any other battlefield, parents can use tactics that succeed or tactics that fail.

Regardless of why your child won’t do their homework, know that fighting over it is a losing proposition for both of you. You will end up frustrated, angry, and exhausted, and your child will have found yet another way to push your buttons. And, even worse, they will wind up hating school and hating learning.

A major part of getting your child to do their homework lies in establishing a system so that your child comes to see that homework is just a regular part of home life. Once they accept that, you’ve already won half the battle. Accordingly, my first few tips are around setting up this system. If you get the system right, things tend to fall into place.

Put this system in place with your child at a time when things are calm and going well rather than during the heat of an argument. Tell your child that you’re going to try something different starting next week with homework that will make it go better for everyone. Then explain the system.

You’ll find that this system will make your life easier as a parent, will make you more effective as a parent, and will help your child to get the work done. And when your child gets their work done, they’re more likely to succeed, and nothing drives motivation more than success.

Structure the Evening for Homework

When your kids come home, there should be a structure and a schedule set up each night. I recommend that you write this up and post it on the refrigerator or in some central location in the house. Kids need to know that there is a time to eat, a time to do homework, and also that there is free time. And remember, free time starts after homework is done.

Homework time should be a quiet time in your whole house. Siblings shouldn’t be in the next room watching TV or playing video games. The whole idea is to eliminate distractions. The message to your child is, “You’re not going to do anything anyway, so you might as well do your homework.”

Even if your child doesn’t have homework some nights, homework time should still mean no phone and no electronics. Instead, your child can read a book or a magazine in their room or work on longer-term assignments. Consistently adhering to the homework time structure is important to instill the homework habit.

Start the Evening Homework Habit When Your Kids are Young

If your children are younger and they don’t get homework yet, set aside quiet time each evening where your child can read or do some type of learning. Doing so will help children understand that evening quiet and study time is a part of everyday home life, just like chores. This habit will pay off when the real homework begins.

Use a Public Place for Homework

For a lot of kids, sending them to their rooms to do their homework is a mistake. Many children need your presence to stay focused and disciplined. And they need to be away from the stuff in their rooms that can distract them.

You know your child best. If you think they’re not being productive in their room, then insist they work at the kitchen table or in some other room where you can monitor them and where there will be fewer distractions.

If they do homework in their room, the door to the room should be open, and you should check in from time to time. No text messaging, no fooling around. Take the phone and laptop away and eliminate electronics from the room during study time. In short, you want to get rid of all the temptations and distractions.

Give Breaks During Homework Time

Many kids get tired halfway through homework time, and that’s when they start acting up. If your child is doing an hour of homework, have them take a 5-minute break every half-hour so that they can get up, have a snack, and stretch their legs. But don’t allow electronics during the break—electronics are just too distracting.

Monitor the break and ensure that your child gets back to work promptly.

Be sure to encourage your child when they’re discouraged. It’s okay to say things like:

“I know it’s a drag, but think of this—when you get your work done, the rest of the night is yours.”

“Look, if you do your work all week, you’ll have the whole weekend to do what you want.”

Show your child empathy—how many of us truly enjoyed homework every night? It’s work, pure and simple. But your child will be encouraged when they begin to have success with their work.

Help Your Child Get Started With Their Homework

Some kids have a hard time getting assignments started. They may be overwhelmed or unsure where to begin. Or the work may seem too difficult.

There’s a concept I explain in The Total Transformation® child behavior program called hurdle help . If you have a child who has a hard time getting started, spend the first five minutes with them to get them over the first couple of hurdles. Perhaps help them with the first math problem or make sure they understand the assignment.

For many kids who are slow starters, hurdle help is very effective. This doesn’t mean you are doing their homework for them—this is simply extra help designed to get them going on their own.

Help Your Child Manage Long-Term Assignments

If your child has a big, long-term project, then you want to work with them to estimate how much time it’s going to take. Then your child has to work within that time frame. So if your child has a science project, help them manage and structure their time. For instance, if the project is due in 30 days, ask them:

“How much time are you going to spend on it each night?”

They might say, “15 minutes a night,” and you hold them to that.

Don’t assume that your child knows how to manage their time effectively. As adults, we sometimes take for granted the habits we have spent a lifetime developing and forget that our kids are not there yet.

Make Sunday Night a School Night

The way that I structure the weekend is that Sunday night is a school night, not Friday. So if your child has homework for the weekend, and as long as they’re done all their work for the past week, they get Friday and Saturday night off and can do their homework on Sunday night.

If there’s a project or something big to do over the weekend, then work with your child to budget their time. They may have to put some time in on Saturday or Sunday during the day. But other than that, your child should have the weekend off too, just like adults do.

The Weekend Doesn’t Begin Until Overdue Work Is Done

If your child has overdue homework, their weekend shouldn’t begin until those assignments are done. In other words, Friday night is a homework night if their week’s work is not complete.

Believe me, this is a highly effective consequence for kids because it creates a great incentive to get their work done. Indeed, each minute they’re doing homework is a minute they could be hanging out with friends or playing video games.

If you can hold to this rule once and deal with the complaining, then next week the homework will be done.

By the way, if they say they can’t do their homework because they didn’t bring their school books home, they should be grounded for the weekend. You can say:

“I don’t want to hear that you can’t do it because you don’t have your books. You’d better call around and find a friend who you can borrow them from. Otherwise, you’ll be staying in this weekend.”

Make Homework a Higher Priority Than Activities

Kids are involved in a lot of after school activities these days. I understand that. But my priority has always been “homework comes first.”

In my opinion, if the homework isn’t done on Monday, then your child shouldn’t go to football on Tuesday. It’s fine if he misses a practice or two. You can say:

“Here’s the deal. We’re not going to football today. You need to get your work done first.”

If your child says, “Well, if I miss a practice, I’m going to get thrown off the team,” You can say:

“Well, then make sure your work is complete. Otherwise, you’re not going to practice. That’s all there is to it.”

I personally don’t put football, soccer, or any other extracurricular activities above homework and home responsibilities. I don’t believe parents should be going from soccer to karate to basketball with their kids while homework and school responsibilities are being neglected.

Use Rewards for Schoolwork, Not Bribes

Most kids get personal satisfaction out of getting good grades and completing their work, and that’s what we’re aiming for. Nevertheless, it’s important to reinforce positive behavior, and that may mean offering an incentive for getting good grades. For instance, my son knew that he would get a certain reward for his performance if he got all B’s or above. The reward was an incentive to do well.

One of the shortcuts we take as parents is to bribe our kids rather than rewarding them for performance. It can be a subtle difference. A reward is something that is given after an achievement. A bribe is something you give your child after negotiating with them over something that is already a responsibility.

If you bribe your child to do their homework or to do anything else that is an expected responsibility, then your child will come to expect something extra just for behaving appropriately. Bribes undermine your parental authority as kids learn that they can get things from you by threatening bad behavior. Bribes put your child in charge of you.

The appropriate parental response to not meeting a responsibility is a consequence, not a bribe. A bribe says, “If you do your homework, I will extend your curfew by an hour.” In contrast, a consequence says, “If you don’t do your homework, you’re grounded until it’s finished.” Never bribe your kids to do what they’re expected to do.

Use Effective Consequences

When giving consequences, be sure they’re effective consequences. What makes an effective consequence? An effective consequence motivates your child to good behavior. They put you back in control and teach your child how to problem-solve, giving your child the skills needed to be successful.

An effective consequence looks like this:

“If you fall below a B average, then you can no longer study in your room and must study at the kitchen table until you get your average back to a B.”

For the child who prefers to study in their room, this is an effective consequence.

Another effective consequence would be the following:

“If you choose not to study during the scheduled time, you will lose your electronics for the night. Tomorrow, you’ll get another chance to use them.”

And the next day, your child gets to try again to earn the privilege of electronics. Short-term consequences like this are very effective. Just don’t take away this privilege for more than a day as your child will have no incentive to do better the next time.

For more on consequences, read the article on how to give effective consequences to your child .

Be Prepared to Let Your Child Fail

Failure should be an option, and sometimes you just have to let your child fail . Parents often do their kids a disservice when they shield them from the consequences of their actions. If your child chooses not to study enough and they get a failing grade, that’s the natural consequence for their behavior. And they should experience the discomfort that results from their behavior.

Let me be clear. If you interfere and try to get your child’s teacher to change their grade, your child will learn the wrong lesson. Your child will learn that if they screw up enough, Mom and Dad will take care of them. And they don’t learn their math or science or whatever it is they failed.

To be sure, failing is a hard lesson, but it’s the right lesson when your child fails. And it’s not the end of the world. In fact, for many kids, it’s what turns them around.

Don’t Fight with Your Child Over Homework

Don’t get sucked into arguments with your child about homework. Make it very clear that if they don’t do their homework, then the next part of their night does not begin. Keep discussions simple. Say to your child:

“Right now is homework time. The sooner you get it done, the sooner you can have free time.”

Say this in a supportive way with a smile on your face. Again, it’s important not to get sucked into fights with your child. Remember, you don’t have to attend every argument you’re invited to. If your child refuses to do his or her work, then calmly give the consequence that you established for not doing homework.

Also, trying to convince your child that grades are important is a losing battle. You can’t make your child take school as seriously as you do. The truth is, they don’t typically think that way. To get your child to do homework, focus on their behavior, not their motivation. Rather than giving a lecture, just maintain the system that enables them to get their work done. Often, the motivation comes after the child has had a taste of success, and this system sets them up for that success.

Stay Calm When Helping Your Child With Their Homework

It’s important to be calm when helping your child with their homework. Don’t argue about the right answer for the math problem or the right way to do the geography quiz. If you get frustrated and start yelling and screaming at your child, this sets a negative tone and won’t help them get the work done. It’s better to walk away than it is to engage in an argument, even when you’re just trying to be helpful.

For couples, it may be that one of you is more patient and acceptable to your child. Let that person take on the homework monitoring responsibilities. And don’t take it personally if it isn’t you.

Remember, if you can’t stay calm when helping your child, or if you find that your help is making the situation worse, then it’s better not to help at all. Find someone else or talk to the teacher about how your child can get the help they need. And try not to blame your child for the frustration that you feel.

It’s Your Child’s Homework, Not Yours

Remember that your child is doing the homework as a school assignment. The teacher will ultimately be the judge of how good or bad, correct or incorrect the work is. You’re not responsible for the work itself; your job is to guide your child. You can always make suggestions, but ultimately it’s your child’s job to do their assignments. And it’s the teacher’s job to grade them.

Know the Teachers and the Assignments

Build good relationships with your child’s teachers. Meet with the teachers at the beginning of the school year and stay in touch as the year progresses. Your relationships with your child’s teachers will pay off if your child begins to have problems.

And if your child does have problems, then communicate with their teachers weekly. If they’re not handing in their work on time, ask the teachers to send you any assignments that they didn’t get done each week. Many schools have assignments available online, which is a big help for parents. Just don’t rely on your child to give you accurate information. Find out for yourself.

The bottom line is that you want to hold your child accountable for doing their work, and you can only do that if you know what the work is. If you keep yourself informed, then you won’t be surprised when report cards come out.

Work with your child on a system to keep track of assignments. I recommend an old-fashioned paper calendar simply because we already have too many distracting electronics in our lives—experiment and use what works best for your child.

Finally, try to see your child’s teachers as your allies. In my experience, most teachers are dedicated and caring, but I realize that this isn’t always the case. So, for your child’s sake, do your best to find a way to work with their teachers.

If You Think Your Child Might Have a Learning Disability

Kids are expected to do some difficult work, and your child may struggle. If your child is having an especially hard time, talk with their teacher. Ask if it’s typical for your child to be struggling in this area.

In some cases, the teacher may recommend testing to see if your child has a learning disability. While this can be hard to hear as a parent, it’s important to find out so that you can make the necessary adjustments.

If it turns out that your child does have a learning disability, then you want to get an Individualized Educational Plan (IEP) set up with the school.

Most kids don’t enjoy homework, and for some, it will always be a struggle. Our children all have different strengths and abilities, and while some may never be excellent students, they might be great workers, talented artists, or thoughtful builders.

I have to admit that dealing with my son’s homework was one of my least favorite experiences as a parent. It was overwhelming at times. Often, I just wasn’t equipped to offer the help he needed.

Our son struggled with a learning disability, which made the work feel unending at times. My husband James was much better at helping him, so he took on this responsibility. But even with this division of labor, we had to make adjustments to our schedules, our lives, and our expectations to make sure our son did his homework as expected.

Life would be easier if all children were self-motivated students who came home, sat down, and dug into their homework without being asked. This is hardly the case, though. Therefore, you need to set up a system that is right for your child, and it’s going to be easier for some kids than for others.

We’re trying to raise our kids to be responsible and accountable for their homework. And we’re trying to avoid fighting with them over it every night. When I had parents in my office, I would take these concepts and show them how they could make it work for their families in their own homes. The families I worked with were able to turn the nightly homework struggle around successfully time and time again.

Related content: The Homework Battle: How to Get Children to Do Homework

Empowering Parents Podcast: Apple, Spotify

About Janet Lehman, MSW

Janet Lehman, MSW, has worked with troubled children and teens for over 30 years. A veteran social worker, she specializes in child behavior issues — ranging from anger management and oppositional defiance to more serious criminal behavior in teens. She is co-creator of The Total Transformation® Program , The Complete Guide To Consequences™ , Getting Through To Your Child™ , and Two Parents One Plan™ .

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Hello, my grandson recently moved with me from another state. He is currently in 8th grade (but should be in 9th). He basically failed the last 2 years and was promoted. I would say he is at a 6th grade level. It's a daily fight with him to do his homework. He won't even try. I know a lot of this is because no one has ever made him do his homework before. I thought he would just have to get in a routine of doing it. He's been in school for a month now and its a fight every single day after school. I have lost all the patience I had. I am tired of being a broken record and being the "bad guy". I don't want to give up on him and send him back to his mom, where I know he will never graduate. I have made so many sacrifices to get him here, but I am literally at my wits end with this. I knew it wasn't going to be easy but I didn't think it was going to be this hard.

My rule is homework after school. If he comes home and does his homework after school, it was easier for him to complete. That lasted a week and a half. Now, he just sits there and does nothing. Does anyone have any suggestions? I couldn't live with myself if I sent him back and he became nothing but a drop out. I know I am not one to have patience, and I am trying but at the same time, I am almost over it. I don't like going to bed crying and knowing that he is crying too. I am open to all suggestions. Please and thank you.

I'm so sorry you are facing these struggles with your grandson. We here from many caregivers in similar situations, so you're not alone in your frustration. We have several articles that offer helpful tips for managing these homework struggles, which can be found here: https://www.empoweringparents.com/article-categories/child-behavior-problems/school-homework/

We appreciate you reaching out and wish you all the best moving forward. Be sure to check back and let us know how things are going.

Jessicar Thank you for this article and strategies. I echo many of the frustrations expressed by other parents here, including my opinion (as an educator) that homework should not exist. I agree that teachers and parents are in a struggle about which adult is responsible for supporting the child in getting More homework done. The best thing for my son was a free "homework club" in fourth and fifth grade where a teacher monitored completion of homework. He has nothing like this in middle school so far. Where I really disagree with the article is about extracurricular activities. Kids need physical activity through sports! They need enrichment beyond academics through the arts, theater, music. Many families send their children to religious, language, and/or cultural programs after school. If I sat in school all day, I'd want to move my body and interact with others too. The solution is not removing extracurricular activities that are healthy or motivating or valued. The solution is for schools to limit homework. Given that there is still homework as a reality--I'd like advice on when to have child do homework AFTER sports or extracurricular activity. When is the best time for homework if the goal is to go to bed on time (in my house in bed around 9 pm)? Between extracurricular and dinner--when the kid is tired? After dinner? My child is in 7th grade and I still can't figure it out. What do others do/think?

I found school to be extremely boring, as a teen. Looking back I realize that I hadn't found the work challenging enough. Personally, I struggled with this all through high school. I was completely disinterested in school, as a result.

I noticed that there wasn't a section addressing situations where children, who are motivated by challenges, do poorly as a result of boredom.

I enjoy reading many of the articles; even those which don't necessarily apply to my current situations with my child. One never knows what obstacles or challenges one may come across. Thank you

Here's what I know. Correcting our children when their behavior is displeasing is what most parents focus on. Without a lot of explanation I'm going to try to get you to change your focus. All children have 4 emotional needs:

1. A sense of belonging

2. A sense of personal power

3. To be heard and understood

4. Limits and boundaries

Rather than focus on your child's behavior, focus on meeting these needs. Meet the needs, change the behavior. There a 25 ways to meet these needs. One of the most effective is to spend regular one-on-one time with your child doing what your child wants to do. How do you spell love? T-I-M-E. It seems counter-intuitive, but just try it for a week. Do this for 1/2 hour every day for a week. See what happens.

Frustrated Confused Parent, I went through similar challenges with my son when he was in high school. As a grade school student his grades were always B and higher. The changes began when his mother and I separated; my son was 12yo. Prior to our separation I was the one who maintained, and enforced the habit of completing his assignments before extracurricular activities could be enjoyed. His mother never felt she had the patience or intelligence to assist him with his homework assignments and upon our separation she completely ignored his school work. Although he continued to follow the structure I had established through grade school, he soon began to realize that no one was showing interest any longer and, thus, began shirking school related responsibilities. My son and I were, and still are, close. I am certain that the separation likely had some affect on him, but it was more than that. He was reaching his teens and becoming more self-aware. Friends began to play a more integral and influential part in his life. Unfortunately my son's grades began slipping as he reached his early teens. For me, this was extremely frustrating since I was aware of how intelligent he was and of what he was capable. After many aggravating, lengthy, heated, and unyielding conversations with his mother about maintaining the structure established through grade school, it became clear she was incapable or simply unwilling. Essentially, he was on his own. Of course I would do whatever I could to help. For starters, I facilitated a transfer to a Charter School, realizing that he needed more individualized attention than that which a public school could provide. It seemed as though he was getting 'lost in the shuffle'.

Unfortunately the damage had already been done. After two years under his mother's lack of tutelage my son had developed some poor habits.

He struggled with maintaining good grades throughout his high school career. By 'maintaining good grades' I mean that he would take a grading of 45 in math and bring it to a 70 within three weeks of the end of a marking period. He ALWAYS passed, though. He would somehow get his grades to or even above passing by the end of the period. As I began to see this, I began to have more faith knowing that when the going got tough he would step up and take charge. It also indicated that he did well with what might perceive as an impossible goal. So, I started to have faith that he'd find his way.

He has since graduated, he has a good-paying job, and he is beginning school to become an electrician within the next month or so. In two weeks he moves into his own apartment, also. He's never done drugs, never drank alcohol, and never started smoking cigarettes. All of which I have done as a teen and well into my adult years. I am in recovery. My son is aware of my own struggles. Most importantly, I believe, is that he has a complete understanding that we all struggle in our own ways. Working through the difficulties, challenges, and obstacles are what makes us stronger and it's our compassion for others, and ourselves, which help us grow into decent adults.

I came to realize that the 'grades' he received in school had nothing to do with the amazing adult he's become; it was literally everything else.

NanaRound2 My 6 year old grandson has just taken 2 hours to write a list and write 3 sentences. He thinks if the words were shorter it wouldn't take so long. Already went through this with his dad. I celebrated more than he did when he graduated. Can't drag More another kid through school. Losing my mind and like the previous comment have tried EVERYTHING.

Yeah -been there, done that. Doesn't work. At least not for my child. I've read every *actual* parenting book out there ( You know, the books publishes by Harvard & Stanford professors who've been studying parenting and child psychology for the past 30 years?) ... and you're all missing something - because I've tried it all.

My kid DGAF. This was almost painful to read. "oh, yup - tried that one. That one too. Oh, hey - I've tried that as well."

This is so frustrating; tell me something I haven't already tried 50 times.

Psych Fan I'm with you my sophomore son DGAF . I tried so much stuff even set time stuff and he just doesn't go get his work out. He's 5'9 so I am 5'1 and I can't move him to do stuff . All he does is debate with me that More Grades really don't matter that he's like I'm just going to get D's because I'm not going to care to do better because I do not like school. He doesn't understand why I don't approve of D grades because I know he has better potential but he's like D grades I will pass and get my diploma .

The first thing on the list is to try and stay calm. While doing homework with my children I'm usually very calm. When I do get frustrated I'll leave the room for a moment, wash my face, and take a few deep breaths until I calm down. Or I'll make hot chocolate to help calm my nerves. It's not a perfect system, but what is?

Number two is to set clear expectations around homework time and responsibilities. We have a standard homework time at our house, with a timer and everything. If our kids meet the homework time goal they'll be rewarded later in the evening with family time. Each of our kids know their roles and responsibilities in the house whether the work gets done before dinner or not.

Number three is a relationship with the teachers, each of whom e-mail us, some two or three times a day. Contact with them has never been better. They're teachers are all pretty awesome too.

Number Four, play the parental role most useful to your child...I have three kids. One needs no help at all, one needs minor help and advisement, while the third requires constant supervision or their e-mail might 'accidentally' open up. This we've provided through double teaming. One parent works with them until the other gets home, then they switch while the other goes to make dinner.

Five, keep activities similar with all your kids. We all live on the same schedule, if one of them finishes homework early they get the reward of extra quiet reading time-my kids are ALL book worms.

Six, Set up a structured time and place for homework. Done. Homework table with a supplies basket right in the middle of the room. Big enough for all of them to work at and then some, it's an octagonal table which my husband built. I also always have their 'homework snacks' waiting for them when they get home, and I usually try to make it healthy-even if they don't realize it.

Seven, start early. My kids have been doing 'homework' with me since they were babies, and (as I pointed out to them yesterday) they loved it. We'd learn about cooking, dinosaurs, amphibians, insects, math, English, chemistry, even the periodic table came up. We'd do work pages every day and they'd love it.

Eight, hurdle help, works in area's like math, but not so much with history or English when the problems aren't as straight forward. But we do use this method where it applies.

Nine, choose the best person for the job. I'm best at English and my husband at math. When I get stuck on math I know who to go to, and I'll even study in my spare time to get better at it so I can be more useful in case he has to work late. That being said, we both devote a lot of our time to helping our kids with their homework.

Ten, show empathy and support. Done, not only can I relate to my kids, but I've pointed out that not getting their work done will make them feel bad bad enough, and that that's why we should work on getting it done together, so they have something to be proud of.

Use positive reinforcement and incentives. :) There was this one time I sat my son down at a table with a work book about 400 pages long. He was young, not even in school yet. Next to the book I placed a giant bag of M&Ms. I told him for every page he got done, he could have one m&m. About ten minutes later he finished the workbook and grinned up at me. When I found out he'd finished the book, I quickly checked it to see if it was done well, and then pushed the bag of M&M's towards him and told him he could just have it...Now they get rewarded in video games and computer time...

It seems that according to this article I'm doing everything right...So why is my child still struggling with homework/classwork? They've literally just refused to do it. Have seriously just sat in their chair without saying a word and stared at the table, or desk, or screen- as the majority of work is now done on computers...I'll sit with them, ask them if they need help, try to help them with problems. They will tell me the right answer to the questions being asked and then refuse to write it down. I feel like I've done everything I can as a parent to help them, but despite all my efforts, it isn't working. So...when all of these things fail, when a parent has done everything right, and there is nothing more they can do short of taking the pen or pencil into their own hands and doing it themselves, (but that would be cheating their child out of an education) what then should the parents do?

When our kids don't get their homework done before dinner, they're sent down the hall where it's quiet so they can finish it at the desk there, while the other kids have family time. They are told to come and get us if they really need help after that. But at this point it's like ostracizing our child for not doing homework.

I agree with most of what's on this page, and our family lifestyle reflects that, but I will disagree with one thing it said. It is our job to help our kids and be supportive of them yes, to nurture them and help them get the skills they need to take care of themselves and their home when they're older...but it is not our job to do the teachers work for them, they get paid for that. Some days it seems like that's what's expected of parents. Some even send home classwork if the kids don't finish it in class. Which means the child now has even more work to do on top of their homework. Though I understand that the teachers want the child to finish the lesson, and were the homework not a factor I probably wouldn't mind it as much. I don't even mind them sending home study guides to help kids before tests (Which is what homework was originally) but to send home overwhelming piles of work each night for parents to help kids with, (Each child with different homework so that parents need to bounce from history, to math to English) it's unreasonable. When teachers send home homework, they're dictating what the parents can do with the little time they have with their child. Which is wrong. We once had to cancel a trip to a science museum because our child had too much homework to finish and there was no way to make it in time and get their homework done. They could have had an amazing educational experience which would overall help them get excited about learning with new and fun tactile experiences, but their schedule (and therefore our schedule) was being dictated by the teacher while they weren't even in class. Of course I try not to talk bad about homework in front of my children, because that would make it even more difficult to get them to do it. But children NEED family time, they NEED to be kids. To be allowed to get away from their work and be themselves, to go outside and play with their friends, or even go out to dinner once in a while with their parents. Homework has made it difficult to grow a relationship with our children beyond the confines of what the teachers are dictating. It's violating in some ways and frustrating in others. It's grown into this monstrous thing which it was never meant to become, and the funny part about it is that most studies done on it show that schools who don't have homework have higher test scores and graduation rates. Not to mention better mental health rates. Studies also show, that after a child is taught something, they'll only really learn it after a good nights sleep, and that no amount of homework will change that. Sleep is what our bodies need to absorb important information we learn throughout the day, so staying up late with homework might even be harmful to a child's education...

Sorry I guess that turned into a bit of a rant...In the end I was hoping to find something useful in this article, something I hadn't tried that might work, but I've done it all, and will probably continue to do all of it in hopes that consistency might be the key...It's just that even after years of already doing All of this consistently, it's still not working. It's as if my child has made a conscious decision Not to work. He's not unintelligent, he understands it, he's even been tested and found to have an above average ability to learn. He just not doing it..So what now? What more can I do to actually inspire him to do the work?

AshumSmashum Out of all of this, most of which I've read and tried a billion times, your comment hit deeper. My son scores in the 99% on tests but cannot sit down and do the simplest homework. He does have autism and adhd so when he freezes up on homework, despite More knowing it, I'm lost at how to help him get it done. He knows the work so why does he need to show it with 20 math problems after school that take forever to complete one? (whatever honors algebra stuff he's in, I was lucky to learn division lol) He has a high IQ and excels in all subjects and yet is being tutored, so far, in English just to get the work done. I'm so done with the emotional toll it takes on me and him at home. Nobody wants to go to work for 8 hours and come home and do the same for another 5 so why do we think our kids want to come home and do more classwork? I'm so appreciative of your comment!

JC Hi Barb, thank you for bringing this up! My son sounds a lot like you...and he really wants to get good grades and go to an Ivy League school. What could someone do to help an 8th grader in the moment of struggle, while making sure they don't get more More anxious from falling behind for the rest of the year?

Tb Hi Barb, I'm the parent of an 8th grader and I want to thank you for the comment you left here. You helped me look at the deeper issues and I really appreciate that. I'm going to approach the conversation with my son differently, thanks to you. Thank More you!

My 11 year old daughter, Alice, has always helped her 7 year old sister, Chole, with homework. But just recently Alice has been giving Chole the wrong answers. We have been trying to get her to give Chole the correct answers

but she always yells at us. She has a baby sister 2 months named Ray and ever since Ray was born she has been giving Chole wrong answers. I once overheard her and Kevin, my husband, talking about how she felt left out. She came and talked to me and said exactly what she had told Kevin. She also told me she has been getting bad grades and doesn't get her homework. Me and Alice talked and she said "All the cool New York girls get straight A's and ever since I started getting D's and F's they said I wasn't cool anymore." We started having her grandparents come over and she would yell, hit, scream, and talk back to them. She is a great student but she spends all of her time on her phone. Breakfast, lunch, dinner, and even at school she is on her phone. All I'm asking is that 1. How do I make her stop screaming, yelling, hitting, and back talking? 2. How do I make her feel cool and get A's again?and 3. How do I get her off her phone?

sounds like you have a number of concerns around your daughter’s behavior, and

it certainly can feel overwhelming. We would suggest https://www.empoweringparents.com/article/its-never-too-late-7-ways-to-start-parenting-more-effectively/ and focusing on just one or two of the most serious, to get

started. Behaviors like verbal or physical abuse would be of top priority,

while behaviors like https://www.empoweringparents.com/article/how-to-walk-away-from-a-fight-with-your-child-why-its-harder-than-you-think/ we would recommend ignoring, and not giving it any power or control.

Empowering Parents author Sara Bean offers some great insight into the reason

for poor child behavior in her article, https://www.empoweringparents.com/article/the-surprising-reason-for-bad-child-behavior-i-cant-solve-problems/.It sounds like your daughter is struggling to

find more effective ways to solve the problems she is facing, and the result is

the acting out behavior. Keep in mind, you can’t make your daughter do anything, but what you can do is help her to

learn better tools to solve whatever problems may come her way. Best of luck to

you and your family as you continue to work on this.

Emma Reed Alice also swears at school and she swears to teachers. Please we have tried everything, even her sister at age 18. What have we done wrong?

Being away from loved ones when they are struggling can be

distressing. It may help to know that it’s not unusual to see changes in

behavior as kids move from the tweens into adolescence, as Janet Lehman

explains in the article https://www.empoweringparents.com/article/adolescent-behavior-changes-is-your-child-embarrassed-by-you/. Normally responsible

kids can start to push back against meeting expectations and disrespect towards

parents and other authority figures can become quite common. The behavior you

describe isn’t OK; it is normal though. I can hear how much you want to help

your daughter and granddaughter

work through these challenges. If your daughter is open to it, you could share

some Empowering Parents articles with her, such as the one above and this one, https://www.empoweringparents.com/article/my-childs-behavior-is-so-bad-where-do-i-begin-how-to-coach-your-child-forward/.

We appreciate you writing in. Best of luck to you and your family moving

forward. Take care.

mphyvr Thanks for all these "strategies", they might work for some parents, but quite simplistic and just plain old common sense for more defiant kids... Thanks anyways and hope this article helps many.

Psych Fan I'm a mom of a sophomore he's also a swearing boy and will have quite a tantrum even with consequences of take away all he does is sleep. He doesn't like school says school is a waste of time and that grades won't matter in his adulthood . He says More it over n over about how schooling won't help him in the future as I go it will help you do good on a ACT and SAT he is like getting good scores on those are only good if your going to college. He also is like jobs won't look at my grades . I tell him homework teaches him responsibility once a job sees your amount of effort in school your going to have a heck of time getting hired. I even ask him how is he going to succeed to work real well at a job when he doesn't work hard at school he goes I don't need to work hard at school but I will need to work hard at a job.

dcastillo68 If it was only this simple, but, in reality it is not.  Middle school syndrome is the worst.  Kids don't want to be labeled as nerds so they do everything to try to fail.  I went through that with my first born, and now again with my youngest.  It is More very frustrating when I was the total opposite when I was growing up.  I cared about my grades an I took it for granted thinking they will feel the same way.  Now seeing how they are happy with just getting by is really frustrating to me because I am such an over achiever.  They didn't even get an ounce of this.  Very very frustrating.  And I wish I have never invited video games to this household.  That is all they want to do.  I keep using this an incentive to bring them back on track, but as soon as I give them their games back, they are back to their old habits.  Sorry, but I can't wait until they are finished with school and hopefully moving out of state to hopefully a college career.  I may change my mind later, but at the moment, this is just how I feel.  It is very hard too when you don't get any help.  I find today's teacher to be lazy and pushing on more responsibility to the parents.  Who has time to do a full day's of work, only to do additional work at home?  okay, enough venting.

@frustrated single dad Diane Lewis Hi there - I have a son adopted out of foster care.  He is 6 1/2 and has been in 5 homes.  He is totally the same!  They learn this behavior and are incredibly manipulative.  They are so insanely smart.  I worry about exactly the same thing.  They turn on and off the behavior depending on who they are with and what they want.

We did Parent Child Interactive Therapy (PCIT) at the Mailman Center (Jackson Hospital Miami).  It made a huge difference in the short-term.  They basically taught us to be full-time behavioral therapists with my son.  The effects wore off after a few months as my son adapted and found ways to circumvent the consequences techniques taught to us.  He is like the Borg!  I am going back to get more ideas on how to adapt and change and stay one step ahead of my son.  The gals there are really smart!

So, that being said - we have to be Jean Luc Picard and constantly change and adapt and outsmart them - just like changing the phasers on a laser gun!  It is bloody hard work.  And, harder the older they get -

eg.  He drops like a dead weight - throws his book bag and will not get in the car to go to school - response - next morning I headed it off by calling out to the kids "LAST ONE IN THE CAR IS A ROTTEN EGG!"  This has worked for 2 days now.  

Wont do homework 2 nights ago - response - "ooh I like doing word puzzles - Im going to do them and win" - this worked one night but not the next - he just then just left me to do his work - so I have told his teacher that there will be no school party for Alex next week unless he gets his homework finished - we will see if this works.....

It is totally exhausting and you have to be on your A game all the time.  Im telling you this but - I have to tell myself this too.  We have to stay really fit (like cross fit) and work out like a marine.  We have to be very disciplined with ourselves - a healthy body is a healthy mind - we cannot let up at all.  We have to stay calm at all times (again self discipline).  

Im always looking for concrete reactions to situations with my son.  Like I said - the entire day goes on like this with everything except what he wants to do.  Wont get dressed in the morning - put out his clothes in dining room where there are no distractions or toys - tell him that if he gets dressed and ready for school quickly - he can spend the left over time on the trampoline.  That worked this morning.

STAY STRONG MY BROTHER IN ARMS!!!  If you can get into a PCIT program - do it.

Love to you - R

My child comes home and says he doesn't have homework, does something easy to make it look like he's doing his homework, or says he did it during free time in class.  How do you combat this without going to the school everyday?  Neither my husband nor I can do More this because of work, and the we asked the teacher's if it was possible to send us the assignments via email or let us come pick them up once a week with no cooperation.  He is a very smart kid and gets "A's' on the work he does, but he is failing all of his core classes because he won't do homework.

@atmywitsend  , my child is the same way.  I'm at my wits end.  I feel like I'm a failure as a parent because I thought I taught my smart kid to succeed - and instead she's lying to me.

Psych Fan NinaMays I'm with the same feelings as my son can be above a C student but he choose to go oh I rather just get F's on this work than to actually get at least a B or A on these many assignments.. I ask him why he chooses F's More in many assignments when he could get a grade to bring his grades up and me telling me he's not being his full potential as by making him not do his work how can I truly believe he's going to be successful and he's like I have big brains . Then I'm like why not show me by doing your school work he goes I don't need do that and I show you of my big brains by telling you school isn't important. Telling me I am brainwashed. He is a sophomore in high school.

FRUSTRATED PARENT NinaMays This is my reality too - "relationship" with teachers is difficult when they won't co-operate with homework expectations, or follow up email - the schools complain that kids are on the internet - yet its them providing wifi passwords - so kids are playing in class - lying about More homework - and since I'm not in the class, I have no idea until report cards surface.

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she sometimes does her homework vs she sometimes do her homework

Explained by Gregg Editor at TextRanch

Last updated: September 05, 2024

she sometimes does her homework

This phrase is correct. In English, the verb "do" changes to "does" when used with third-person singular subjects like "she."

• She sometimes does her homework in the evening.
• He sometimes does his chores on the weekends.
• The cat sometimes does its tricks for treats.
• The teacher sometimes does her lectures online.
• The company sometimes does its business overseas.

she sometimes do her homework

This phrase is incorrect. The verb form "do" does not agree with the third-person singular subject "she."

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This mom’s viral video explains why she’s ‘opting out’ of homework for her child

cayleyxox/TikTok

"The only thing that you should be worried about is learning and what time snack time is."

By Christina Marfice September 4, 2024

When you were in school, don’t you wish you could have had the choice to opt out of homework ? One mom is going viral online for choosing to do just that with her son, and it’s creating a lot of conversation online.

An Arizona mom who posts to TikTok as @cayleyxox created the now-viral video, where she announced, “For any parents that might not know this, and I just recently learned this, is that you can actually opt out of homework for your children.”

That’s a little misleading, as we’ll learn later in her story, but for now, here are the details.

@cayleyxox I hope it inspires more parents to do it for their children ❤️ #momsoftiktok ♬ original sound – cayleyxo

“I didn’t know that until recently, and I just sent my son’s kindergarten teacher a cute little email saying, ‘I’m sorry, based on the stress, mental, physical anxiety it’s causing my kid, we are done. We are done opting out for the rest of the year,'” she said.

She then explained what led to that decision.

Related: In a viral TikTok, a ‘Venmo mom’ defends her decision not to volunteer at school events

“On the first week of school … he got this packet. It’s for August. It doesn’t look like it’s all that bad, but it’s about 15 to 20 pages double-sided. You do the math. We have been working on it and trying to work on it to the best of our abilities, and it is causing him so much mental, physical stress,” she said. “This morning I had him sit down. I felt so guilty for this. We were sitting down, I told him, ‘You can’t even watch a show this morning. You can’t do anything. It’s going to be radio silence until you sit here and eat your breakfast and finish at least one or two pages of this. Because you’re way behind.’ This is so much work for him. I started crying. He started crying. It was an emotional mess.”

She went on to say her son was upset about having to go to school because of his homework stress, “which hurts my mama heart because you were five. Five. You were in kindergarten. The only thing that you should be worried about is learning and what time snack time is,” she added.

“What are we teaching kids? What are we teaching them? That, ‘Oh, yeah, here you go. You’re going to go to work and you’re going to be paid salary, but it doesn’t matter if you don’t finish your work in the eight to ten hours that you’re there Monday through Friday. You’re going to bring that work home and you’re going to do that on your own time,” she continued. “No … not up in here. We are not teaching our children that. Work to live. We don’t live to work … In this household, we’re done doing homework. I want my kids to love school. I want him to love to learn. I want him to have fun. I want to enjoy it.”

Her message got mixed reviews from commenters. Some were firmly on her side, but others thought she was teaching her son to be entitled by telling him he could just not do his homework, and that she was creating a sticky situation for his teacher.

Related: The 3 skills your child needs for a successful school year, according to an education expert

“I agree with you but know the teachers are allowed to find time for the student to make up the work you are declining and it’s going to be recess,” one commenter wrote.

Another added, “I hear this, but then I think how 50% of the population has a 7th grade reading level in the USA.”

In an update, Cayley shared how her son’s teacher responded to her opt out request: She said she had never gotten a “complaint” about homework, to which Cayley said she wasn’t complaining, just “addressing the situation that’s no longer gonna work for their family.”

After some negotiations, they settled on a reading log of 15-20 minutes per night to replace her son’s “homework.”

What do the experts say about homework and young kids?

One of the most notable talking points about homework is how it disproportionately affects students from less affluent families. The  American Psychological Association (APA)  explained:

“Kids from wealthier homes are more likely to have resources such as computers, internet connections, dedicated areas to do schoolwork and parents who tend to be more educated and more available to help them with tricky assignments. Kids from disadvantaged homes are more likely to work at afterschool jobs, or to be home without supervision in the evenings while their parents work multiple jobs.”

There are a few other reasons why homework can have a more negative impact on lower-income students:

• Access to resources: Lower-income students may have less access to things like a quiet study space, reliable internet, educational supplies, or help from parents/guardians. This makes it more challenging for them to complete homework effectively.
• Time constraints: Lower-income students are more likely to have after-school responsibilities like caring for siblings, working a part-time job, or commuting long distances. This leaves them with less time and energy for homework.
• Stress and mental health: The added burden of homework on top of other life stressors can exacerbate mental health issues like anxiety and depression, which are more prevalent among lower-income youth.
• Widening achievement gaps: Because homework widens the learning gap between students with more and fewer resources, it can perpetuate and even worsen educational inequalities over time.

The key point is that homework, while intended to reinforce learning, can actually disadvantage lower-income students who face additional obstacles outside of school. Addressing these disparities in access and support is important for creating more equitable educational outcomes.

Back To School

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Breaking news, i’m a mom letting my kid opt out of homework — the stress just isn’t worth it.

If only she could be all of our moms.

A protective parent in Arizona is allowing her kindergartener to “opt out” of doing his homework — simply because the workload is too stressful, she claims.

A TikTok mother named Cayley took to the popular social media platform to explain how both she and her five-year-old boy were driven to tears over a long-term work packet — estimated to be between 15 and 20 double-sided pages — because of its routine intensity.

“We have been working on it and trying to work to the best of our abilities,” she said to her online audience .

The miffed mama mentioned that she felt overwhelming “guilt” over pushing the tot into doing nothing but work during his off hours.

“I just sent my son’s kindergarten teacher a cutesy little email saying I’m sorry, based on the stress, mental, physical anxiety it’s causing my kid, we are done.”

She also drew a parallel to the professional world where most people get to draw emotional boundaries after “eight to ten hours” on the job, saying the same should go for her little one.

“Work to live, we don’t live to work.”

In the comments of the video, one kindergarten teacher agreed with the philosophy.

“I never sent home homework unless parents specifically asked me and I always let them know it was optional,” they explained.

@cayleyxox I hope it inspires more parents to do it for their children ❤️ #momsoftiktok ♬ original sound – cayleyxo

“I’m so anti-homework – there’s no reason for it,” wrote another.

However, some lectured Cayley as if she were a child herself.

“Your attitude towards school will transfer to your child’s attitude towards school. If you make it seem like an awful chore, they will too,” added one know-it-all.

“I hear this, but then I think how 50% of the population has a 7th grade reading level in the USA,” someone bluntly chimed in.

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Mother goes viral for emailing teacher to opt son out of homework

‘work to live, we don’t live to work,’ mother says, article bookmarked.

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A mother has gone viral after emailing her son’s teacher in an effort to opt out of homework.

In a viral TikTok video , mother-of-three Cayley (@cayleyxo) shared how her son received a 15 to 20-page, double-sided homework packet on his first day of kindergarten. The packet was meant to encompass all of his homework for August, but when the sight of it stressed her son out, she sent the teacher a “cutesy” email.

She started the video, explaining: “I sent my son’s kindergarten teacher a cutesy little email saying, ‘I’m sorry. Based on the stress, mental, physical anxiety it’s causing my kid, we are done.’”

She was motivated to send the email after she and her son tried to work on the homework packet together on 26 August after he had fallen behind, sitting him down to finish at least one or two pages. At that moment, they were both so stressed out, they began to cry.

“It was an emotional mess. I felt so guilty dropping him off at school,” she recalled. “He didn’t want to be there. For the last two weeks, he told me he doesn’t even like school and doesn’t want to be there anymore, which hurts my mama heart because you’re five. The only thing you should be worrying about is learning and what time snack time is.”

She added that she’d rather her children enjoy their education than grow to resent it, stressing: “Work to live, we don’t live to work.”

The video - which has since garnered over 250,000 views on the platform - received tons of comments from teachers who empathized with Cayley and her son.

“Kindergarten teacher here - it’s normal for kids to not like school the first couple of weeks or even months!” one user wrote. “It’s a big adjustment, especially for kids who have never been to preschool or away from their parents. Hang in there, Mama. He’ll love it once he starts to make friends.”

They added, “As for homework, I agree with you. I never sent home homework unless parents specifically asked me, and I always let them know it was optional. I did, however, tell parents to read a book to their child every day, so that was their only ‘homework.’”

“I’m a substitute teacher, and homework is SO outdated and unnecessary! Most teachers at the district I work for have made it a thing of the past, but some are still hanging on. Good for you, though!” another teacher noted.

Fellow parents also voiced similar concerns.

“My kids get SO much homework,” one wrote. “They’re GRADED on it too, starting in first grade public school! The pressure on these kids is insane.”

“We had kinder orientation tonight and my son’s teacher said ‘Homework! It’s kindergarten, I’m not giving homework. Just read with them.’ And I thought ‘good because we ain’t gonna do it,’” someone else added.

Cayley shared an update on the situatio n on 7 September, saying the teacher had considered her complaints and has since reduced the homework to one page as well as included more interactive assignments.

“I told her I would be up for meeting in the middle and working as a team because that is what we’re here for - the benefit of our children,” Cayley told viewers. “This is your sign to maybe say something to your teacher, nicely and politely, if something doesn’t sit right with you at their school.”

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Kamala Harris’ Debate Handshake Spoke Volumes. Body Language Experts Reveal Why.

Senior Reporter, Work/Life

Vice President Kamala Harris and former President Donald Trump met face-to-face for the first time Tuesday night at the presidential debate. And before the debate even started, their greeting said a lot about their mindsets, body language experts told HuffPost.

Harris initiated the handshake by striding over to Trump’s lectern and reaching out her hand.

“The fact that she encroached on his space says to me that that was a show of power,” said behavioral scientist Abbie Maroño , because this initiation sends a signal of “I’m not afraid of you.”

Trump is known for pulling people off balance with his handshakes , said body language expert Mark Bowden , which is why Harris’ choice to walk toward him with “a lot of velocity” helped.

“The best way to deal with that is to come in hot and with a strong, rigid arm so that actually his instinct is to try and stop you rather than pull you,” he said. “She’s got the velocity advantage and the intent advantage, so he can’t hang on to her hand in any way.”

Candidates Kamala Harris and Donald Trump shake hands as they take the stage in their first presidential debate. https://t.co/tkEn0wzLvL #ABCDebate pic.twitter.com/X68E3Fzi6R — ABC News (@ABC) September 11, 2024

“Kamala Harris,” she said in introducing herself while shaking Trump’s hand. “Let’s have a good debate.” Trump replied, “Nice to see you. Have fun.”

Maroño said Harris’ introduction is both professional and a polite way to signal “I’m approachable, I’m warm, I’m inviting.”

Trump, meanwhile, “looked caught off guard” because he did the handshake while not directly squaring his shoulders off with Harris and because his greeting “makes no sense” in the context of a presidential debate, said Denise Dudley , clinical psychologist and author of “Work It! Get In, Get Noticed, Get Promoted.”

Maroño explained that showing dominance involves controlling someone’s space and their time. Harris went for one elbow pump with her handshake while Trump kept his hand with hers for additional smaller handshakes. “By holding her there, it’s kind of reclaiming a little bit of that power,” she suggested.

When their 90-minute debate ended, Trump promptly exited the stage. But if Trump wanted to counter Harris’ “dominance display,” he should have gone for a final handshake after their debate concluded: “OK, you approached me. I’m going to show you the same level of respect at the end and encroach on [your] space,” Maroño suggested.

There are no rules that obligate presidential candidates to shake each other’s hand during debates, but Dudley said it was a “huge power move” for Harris to do so.

“Some people, they think, well, the position of power is march in here and ignore my opponent, and to not shake her hand or his hand,” Dudley said. “But the true position of power is to own your own self and your own space, and to be the person who can walk in, put out a hand and say, ‘Hello, I’m Kamala Harris.’ That’s the position of power.”

Very few of us are going to have political opponents we’re greeting for the first time on national television. But at some point, most of us are going to encounter a colleague whom we dislike or someone who might be trying to intimidate us.

You can masterfully disarm your professional or personal foe with a purposeful handshake. “The best thing we can possibly do is to rise above it and behave in a professional way,” Dudley said.

Here’s how:

1. Keep your grip firm.

Maroño said it’s best to avoid an “overly strong grip” that comes off as aggressive but to also avoid hesitating, because it signals you lack confidence. “You don’t squeeze too tightly, but you don’t do the dead-fish where [you] give them only your fingertips,” Dudley advised.

Instead, have a “really firm grip,” Maroño said.

2. Look them in the eyes.

Both Harris and Trump made eye contact while shaking hands Tuesday. Eye contact while shaking hands is a “sign of confidence,” Maroño said. “It shows you’re engaged. It shows that you are showing respect to the other person. You are there. You are present.”

3. You don’t need to smile, but keep your expression neutral.

When you’re meeting someone you do not like, you don’t have to fake a cheerful smile, but do not scowl or grimace, because it comes off as immature and, therefore, less powerful, Dudley said.

4. Do one elbow pump.

Ideally, you want to pump your hand from your elbow because it displays confidence but not aggression.

Trump is known for reeling in other people’s hands and pulling them up and down in a “saw” motion with his shoulder, said Dudley, who has studied videos of Trump’s greetings. Do not do this, because it “puts people off their balance,” she said. “We want to let people stay stable while they’re shaking our hand.”

Why This All Matters

Ultimately, each handshake is a new opportunity to show someone where they stand with you and your intentions. Bowden said handshakes were an ancient custom for people to show that they were not hiding knives or swords in their dominant hands. And that intent of non-hostility remains. Asking for and receiving a handshake signals “We’re from the same community. We hold the same tradition,” Bowden said.

Harris’ and Trump’s encounter was the first debate handshake seen between Republican and Democratic presidential nominees since 2016. And that’s why each physical interaction between Harris and Trump is fascinating to observe.

On Wednesday, Harris and Trump attended the same commemoration on the anniversary of the Sept. 11, 2001, terrorist attacks. And they shook hands again after Harris appeared to be prompted by former New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg to do so.

This time, Trump patted one hand on top of Harris’ while they shook hands, which is a sign of intimacy if you are friends with someone. But clearly, Harris and Trump are not friends, so it comes across as “patronizing,” Dudley said. “It also is something that we women get a lot from men, and it’s a sexist move.”

Dudley noted it would have been stronger for Trump to have initiated the handshake himself instead of having it mediated by a third party.

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“In both cases, he missed an opportunity to appear presidential, to appear like a strong candidate, to appear as if he was not cowed by her, which, as time went on [during the debate], it sure seemed like she was getting to him for sure,” Dudley said.

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With smirks and head shakes, Harris uses the split-screen format to provoke Trump

It began just as they appeared before the audience.

Vice President Kamala Harris walked across the stage into former President Donald Trump's space, reached out her hand and introduced herself.

Trump, visibly taken aback, shook her hand.

The assertive move by Harris was one that ended up setting the tone for the next 90 minutes, where Harris made her case to become the nation's next president as much through body language as she did through words.

And in that period, she repeatedly got under Trump's skin, sending him into angry screeds where he struggled to stay on topic and, at times, careened into confounding anecdotes.

“They’re eating the dogs, the people that came in, they’re eating the cats. They’re eating, they’re eating the pets of the people that live there,” Trump said, referencing a baseless claim about Haitian immigrants in an answer about immigration. “This is what’s happening in our country, and it’s a shame.”

Trump spent much of the night leaning forward, hands on the lectern, brooding. He would not look at Harris, even when making an emphatic point about her, instead pointing his finger over at his Democratic opponent without turning his head.

It was one of the most tangible signs that Trump grew unnerved in their first debate , which started with Trump talking on point about one of his key campaign themes: the economy.

Harris at times tilted or shook her head in disbelief, smiled incredulously and at one point looked right at Trump, putting her hand to her chin in an exaggerated gesture as though to convey she was listening to a tall tale. Her expression turned into an instant meme on social media.

As Trump boasted about how he won the 2020 election and had garnered more votes than any other candidate, Harris responded that he had lost — and been fired by 81 million people.

“Clearly, he’s having a very difficult time processing that,” she said.

Overall, Harris' performance was a dramatic shift from what Democrats saw from President Joe Biden in the June debate, which was roundly panned as a disaster for him and set into motion a party revolt that saw Biden drop out of the 2024 election. Then, Biden looked off-camera repeatedly, appearing lost at times and sometimes struggling to complete a sentence.

It appeared Harris learned from that debate: that the cameras are always on and body language was a critical way to communicate with the audience. Harris' decision to initiate the handshake, moving toward Trump, came after she, like other Democrats, had watched Trump use his physical heft in a 2016 debate against Hillary Clinton to project dominance.

On several other occasions, Harris made a point to look directly at the camera while delivering her answers. It was her attempt to try to emphasize the message that Trump is in for it for himself and she sought to turn the page.

But Trump also began delivering circuitous answers — and growing visibly agitated. That included when Harris chided Trump, saying world leaders were laughing at him and America, for ever taking him seriously. Trump then announced he had the backing of Hungarian strongman Victor Orban.

Even some Republicans, at the debate's conclusion, lamented Trump's performance. One Republican donor called him “wild, uncontrolled” and declared that Harris was adept at “pushing his buttons."

“Trump is so angry he can’t clearly get his message across," a Trump fundraiser said. "She’s cool, calm and able to provoke him. I was stressing hearing it. On the other hand, everyone watching are stressed and angry. Maybe they very well identify with Trump’s anger.”

A Republican operative gave a more nuanced answer, saying Harris had not given clear answers herself.

“He is taking her bait — which is a missed opportunity but she’s not giving answers to lower prices and securing the border,” the person said.

Another Republican though, said Harris' expressions may have turned off some voters.

“Trump was strong and measured for the first 30 minutes. He let the moderators fact checking get under his skin for the next 30 minutes," the person said. "And then came back strong after the commercial break. Kamala’s facial reactions in the split screen have been off-putting.”

Trump also complained about the size of Harris' rallies, accusing her without evidence of paying people to attend.

At one point, Trump did glance over when Harris attempted to speak into her microphone that was muted.

"I'm talking now," Trump said, in a reference to what Harris said to then-Vice President Mike Pence in the 2020 election. "Does that sound familiar?"

One Democrat who had been critical of Biden's debate performance had a drastically different view of Harris'.

"Kamala Harris may be delivering the best performance by a Democratic presidential candidate since Bill Clinton. Never seen Trump backpedal like this," said Democratic strategist Pete Giangreco. "That was a flat out a-- whipping."

Natasha Korecki is a senior national political reporter for NBC News.

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Pundits Said Harris Won the Debate. Undecided Voters Weren’t So Sure.

Voters said the vice president talked about a sweeping vision to fix the country’s most stubborn problems. But they wanted the fine print.

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By Jeremy W. Peters Jack Healy and Campbell Robertson

The reporters interviewed voters in five states and asked them whether the debate changed their views on the presidential race.

Follow along with live updates on the Trump and Harris campaigns .

For weeks, undecided voters have been asking for more substance.

So it was perhaps no accident that Vice President Kamala Harris’s first words during the presidential debate on Tuesday were, “I am actually the only person on this stage who has a plan.”

Some Americans might need more convincing.

Bob and Sharon Reed, both 77-year-old retired teachers who live on a farm in central Pennsylvania, had high hopes for the debate between Ms. Harris and former President Donald Trump. They thought that they would come away with a candidate to support in November.

But, Ms. Reed said, “It was all disappointing.”

The couple ended the night wondering how the costly programs each candidate supported — Mr. Trump’s tariffs and Ms. Harris’s aid to young families and small businesses — would help a couple like them, living on a fixed income that has not kept pace with inflation. They said they didn’t hear detailed answers on immigration or foreign policy, either.

Tuesday night was the first time any voter had seen Mr. Trump and Ms. Harris together. The two candidates had never met in person before, creating considerable trepidation among supporters of both campaigns about how they might perform.

Immediate reaction from political analysts favored Ms. Harris, whose attacks appeared to rattle Mr. Trump. She goaded him over the various criminal and civil charges against him. She said his former aides considered him “a disgrace” and that world leaders laugh at him. At one point, she asked whether he might be “confused” — a stinging line given Mr. Trump’s relentless mocking of President Biden’s mental acuity. And she questioned his emotional stability by saying he was not capable of processing his loss in 2020.

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