kinds of lies essay

Types of Lies, Its Benefits or Harms Essay

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Introduction

Types of lies.

According to Lewis and Saarni, “truth and deception – like good and evil – have long been viewed as diametrically opposed and irreconcilable” (1). A lie can be defined as a falsehood or being dishonest by telling untruthful statements with the intention that people will accept the statement as truth. Lies have been part of human life since existence; for instance, in the Bible, Delilah frequently accused Samson of lying to her when she asked him about the source of his strength.

In this case, when Samson lied, he was able to maintain his strength to defeat his enemies, but the moment, he disclosed the source of his strength he lost it. Moreover, Smith mentions that lie has a biological grounds (1). The ugly side of telling a lie is revealed in Mark Twain’s statement, “If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything” (Carson, PP. 285).

This statement implies that if one tells lies, he/she has to remember everything pertaining to it in the future; however, if he/she sais the truth, the person is not forced to remember anything as the truth stands by itself. In my native culture, lying is condemned, and people are advised to practice good morals by being honest and telling the truth. Lie erodes trust among friends, and generally, between any two or more persons, so it should be avoided at all costs.

There are many types of lies, but the paper will only mention three of the most common types. The first type of lie is known as spiteful lie; these are lies told in order to gain benefit and hurt others. They may come in form of cheating and being dishonest.

For example, sellers lie while selling a product to woo a customer into buying it. In another instance, a politician and his party may make rumors about their rivalry party being involved in corruption or drug scandals; and this will ruin another party’s reputation. This form of lie encourages meanness and should be discouraged.

Beneficial lies are lies mainly told out of kindness to avoid hurting the third party. In this case, the liar will always be praised instead of being criticized. For example, when person has to lie to save someone or to avoid some difficult situations that can cause a lot of harm to everyone. This means to lie for good, that is why, lies can be justifiable in some cases.

White lies are seen as such that do not affect or injure the person, but can even achieve good outcomes. A general description of a white lie is to tell only a half of the truth, thus one does not lie or misrepresent the facts. This form of lie does no harm to both sides and are used as protection to private life. For example, when asked about your personal life, you can lie about it to some extend, so it will not cause any harm to anyone.

Generally, all the people tell lies in one or many occasions either in oral or written communication. In some cases, one will find out about this lie, and this may have a heavy consequence. Lies can sometimes be useful or harmful.

Before opting to tell a lie, one should consider the long-term consequences of such a decision. However, one fact that remains is that lies undermine trust among two or more people. Hence, one should only lie when he/she is certain that the results of such a move will be worth more than the trust that he/she might lose when the lies are found out.

Carson, Thomas L. The Definition of Lying. Nous, 40(2), 2006. 284–306. Print.

Lewis, Michael, and Carolyn Saarni. Lying and Deception in Everyday Life. New York: The Guilfort Press. 1993. Print.

Smith, David Livingstone. Why We Lie: The Evolutionary Roots of Deception and the Unconscious Mind. New York: St. Martin’s Griffin, 2007. Print.

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More From Forbes

A psychologist explores 6 types of lies, and how they affect us.

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The intricate web of deception results in unseen burdens on well-being. Here’s how your lies affect ... [+] you.

Whether it is a white lie, gray lie, real lie or a small, inconsequential lie, everyone indulges in some form of lying across their lifetime. Its ubiquity seems unaffected by its moral disapproval and potential to harm one’s reputation and relationships. Although the direct consequences of a lie are usually minimal when it goes undetected and unpunished, there may still be a psychological cost associated with it.

A delicate balance exists between honesty and deception that involves a careful consideration of the advantages to be gained that cannot be achieved by truthful means. People are often tempted to lie when the potential benefits outweigh the potential costs. Which brings us to:

Decoding The Motives Behind Lying

A 2018 study described the psychological process behind lies on the basis of two factors: the beneficiary and the motivation. The decision to lie is influenced by the beneficiary or the person who will benefit from the lie. The motivation behind the lie can be to either obtain a desirable outcome or prevent an undesirable outcome. Researchers came up with six types of lies based on the reasons that lead people to be dishonest:

• Self-oriented beneficial lies. These lies are told to obtain positive outcomes for oneself. For example, claiming that a sum of money found is one’s own.
• Self-oriented protective lies. These lies are directed at avoiding a negative outcome or loss for oneself. For example, falsely denying hitting another car while parking.
• Other-oriented beneficial lies . These lies are aimed at securing positive outcomes or achieving gains for others. For example, lying to a supervisor to support a co-worker’s claim of illness.
• Other-oriented protective lies. These lies are spoken to protect others from loss or negative outcomes. For example, falsely telling one’s parents that one is doing well to prevent them from worrying.
• Pareto beneficial lies. These lies are told to benefit the liar as well as another person. For example, falsifying the results in one's group project to get a better grade.
• Pareto protective lies. These lies are spoken to prevent loss to oneself and another person. For example, a team manager telling superiors at work that they could not meet an important deadline due to technical issues, rather than blaming their team for not completing the task or taking personal accountability.

Irrespective of why people choose to lie, psychological burden of being deceptive weighs heavy on the conscience. Even if the lie goes undetected, the process of lying itself can be an inherently stressful activity.

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Russian troops captured one of ukraine’s dutch armored vehicles, rode it back into battle—and promptly got killed, apple iphone 16 pro: new design echoed in latest leak, unveiling the hidden costs of deception.

Lying can have a substantial impact on one’s well-being. Research shows that people with a tendency to conceal the truth are more preoccupied with their lie and experience higher levels of negative emotions and lower life and relationship satisfaction.

The liar might find themselves consumed by the fear of the recipient discovering the truth. This fear may stem from guilt, paranoia or the ramifications of deception for one’s integrity and their relationship with the recipient. The extent to which people fear discovery can influence how preoccupied they are with the lie and the level of negative emotions they subsequently feel.

A 2023 study examined the psychological consequences of telling lies. Liars were affected by their lies in the following ways:

• Lower self-esteem. Liars had lower self-esteem than those who spoke the truth. Additionally, lying on any given day decreased the person’s self-esteem compared to their self-esteem on the previous day as well as their average self-esteem level.
• Higher negative affect. Researchers found that individuals who lied experienced the negative emotions of nervousness, regret, discomfort, unhappiness, guilt, embarrassment, shame and anger to a greater extent than those who were truthful.
• Lower positive affect. In addition to evaluating negative emotions, researchers assessed liars for four positive emotions. People who lied experienced less comfort, happiness, relief and pride than their truthful counterparts.

The psychological costs of lying are profound and extend to various facets of well-being. These detrimental effects emphasize the importance of honesty in maintaining a healthy sense of self and positive relationships with others. It can be difficult to resist the alluring pull of lying, but overcoming this challenge is possible through cultivating self-awareness and seeking expert help .

Wondering if your lies are impacting your well-being? Take this survey to find out: Survey of Pathological Lying Behaviors

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Do You Believe In White Lies?

Undefined Undefined / Getty Images 

White Lies vs. Real Lies

• Things to Consider

Why Do People Lie?

• Risks of Lies

Benefits of Honesty

When it’s necessary to lie.

Is it okay to lie? Or do you believe in white lies? A white lie is a lie that is considered harmless or trivial. Such lies are often told to spare hurting someone's feelings.

The term dates back to the 14th century and is linked to historical color associations that suggest that white symbolizes "morally pure" and that black symbolizes "sinister intent."

While most people agree that lies are damaging, destructive, and downright wrong, there are times when people tell what they think are harmless lies as a way to prevent further harm. If you’ve ever told a child that Santa Claus was on his way in his sleigh or that you loved the weird socks that your aunt sent as a gift, you lied. But you can let yourself off the hook.

These were more like white lies. With a real lie, the intent is malicious and the consequence is serious. While with a white lie, often more like a harmless bending of the truth, the intent is benign and positive, and usually, the consequence isn’t major.

The adage that you always should tell the truth is mostly right, but in some situations fibs or white lies have a purpose.

The question of whether it is okay to lie often comes down to whether you are telling a white lie or a real lie. White lies are often innocuous. We tell them to create a magical world for our children, or, more often, as a way to be polite and demonstrate social manners. Some examples of white lies include:

• Telling someone they look great in an outfit
• Saying that you are on your way to meet someone so you can't stay and chat
• Laughing at a joke that wasn't really funny
• Telling someone that you'll call them later
• Saying that you didn't see a text that someone sent you

Overall, white lies are for beneficial purposes. Being totally honest in some cases would create unpleasantness or be offensive. Some view white lies as a sign of civility.

Real lies tend to be more self-serving. They may result in negative consequences for yourself and others.

Told to protect others

Self-protective

Avoid awkward situations

Told to benefit the self

Self-serving

Create pain and discomfort for others

How White Lies Can Be Good for Us

If you believe in white lies, then you probably feel that such fibs serve an important purpose such as protecting someone's feelings. If we lie to benefit other people, these are considered white lies. Here’s a good illustration: A student had a hard time his first week at college and told his parents he was doing well so they wouldn’t worry.

In this situation, he was thinking about other people’s feelings and was guided by empathy and kindness. The second week he adjusted and was glad he didn’t upset his parents prematurely.

Scientists call these well-intended falsehoods prosocial lies . These differ from antisocial lies, which are told for personal gain. According to research, prosocial lies can actually build trust and a sense of benevolence between people.

How Real Lies Can Be Bad for Us

With real lies, the intent is often selfish. These are the most damaging kinds of lies. To find evidence of them, look for falsehoods that promote a person’s self-interests obviously at the expense of others.

To make it clearer, if your best girlfriend asks how she looks in her new dress and you think it’s too tight, but you say she looks great to boost her self-esteem, that’s a white lie. But complimenting her because you want to look better than her at the party, which is competitive and more indicative of selfish intent is a real lie.

When it comes to truth telling, deception and trust, real lies can be destructive. If things don’t add up or if you suspect someone of lying , there are ways to find out.

Before You Decide If It's Okay to Lie

Let's look at what you might want to think about before you decide to tell a white lie or a real lie.

Evaluate the Intention

When someone lies out of altruism to protect others or ease their pain, these lies are considered acceptable white lies. White lies usually benefit the person listening.

For example, if your neighbor is dying of cancer, rather than frighten your young son with his impending death, it’s okay to say he’s not feeling well right now.

This is an example of prosocial lying and reflects empathy and compassion . It also takes into account what is age appropriate for your son.

Consider the Long-Term Consequences

While white lies are often minor or inconsequential, real lies have far reaching effects. Real lies tend to initially benefit the liar, too.

For example, if Dan took the data his co-worker amassed and presented the project as his own, Dan blatantly lied and acted in a self-serving and clearly untruthful way. When his supervisor learned the truth, Dan was sent to human resources as a consequence.

Overall, it's important to look at the morality and societal acceptance of the type of life. White lies are acceptable and help our society function. Real lies are deemed to be universally wrong.

There are many reasons why people lie. Some common motives for lying include:

To Be Considerate

Lying out of consideration can mean protecting someone else’s feelings, for the sake of diplomacy, or to keep stability in our relationships. These are the common white lies that help us maintain harmony with our spouses, family, friends, and neighbors.

For example, if your child just began studying violin and is making a horrible racket, you might tell him he sounds fantastic to encourage him.

To Protect Our Ego and Self-Image

Another reason why we don’t tell the truth is based on psychological compensation: to protect how we're perceived by others. Rather than admit you lost your job, for example, you might tell your sibling that you quit because it was no longer challenging enough.

To Compensate for Our Sensitivity to Power

For example, rather than question your boss’s new plan which you find shaky, you feel compelled to support it. You respond by saying that you love the plan to protect your job.

People tell white lies to protect others, protect the self, and defer to those in power.

The Danger of Telling Too Many Lies

A 2016 study published in the journal Nature Neuroscience showed that the brain adapts to dishonesty. The more participants engaged in self-serving dishonesty, the more likely that behavior would increase with repetition. Small acts escalated into bigger transgressions.

That’s as good a reason as ever to stop lying. Even seemingly innocuous lies can become a habit, like second nature. In fact, it may become easier than being honest. You get to spare people’s feelings and pretend you are less flawed than you are. That can be very enticing.

The second danger of telling too many lies might result in not getting the help you need. For example, saying "I'm fine," which seems like an innocuous fib, masks the fact that you are still struggling on many fronts. This may preclude others from suggesting you get mental health counseling or you yourself from realizing that you could benefit from therapy.

You must always be honest with yourself about what you’re doing and why. Then you must try to be as honest as you can be with loved ones. We are all human, but that should be the goal.

So is it ever okay to lie to your significant other? There are times when you might tell a white lie to protect your partner, but as in other cases, telling the truth is generally the best policy . Telling lies, particularly those that involve serious deception, can erode the trust and intimacy in your relationship.

After all, if your partner doesn’t know the truth and how you are evolving as a person, that person doesn’t know the real you. You are not experiencing real intimacy then.

Intimacy demands vulnerability and honesty. You might also be depriving your family of the chance to show you that they see you for all your foibles and accept and love you as you are.

Less Lying Has Been Linked to Better Health

Evidence shows that Americans average about 11 lies per week. Another reason to strive to tell the truth and reduce lies? Anita E. Kelly, PhD, professor of psychology at the University of Notre Dame discovered during her research that participants who reduced lies and tried to live more honestly actually reported improved relationships and better mental and physical health.

Participants stopped making excuses for being late or not completing tasks. They also figured out other ways to avoid lying and the results were significant.

So what is a good reason to lie? Sometimes the stakes are high and lies are necessary to safeguard someone’s well-being. In these types of situations, lying for the sake of protecting yourself or loved ones is deemed acceptable:

• Lying to an abuser to escape from or protect someone from domestic abuse.
• Lying to an abuser to protect children from child abuse.
• Lying to someone who is playing with weapons.
• Lying to someone who seems intoxicated or on drugs.
• Lying to someone who seems to be experiencing a mental health issue.

Is it OK to lie to protect yourself?

While honesty is usually the best policy, it is okay to lie to protect yourself or someone else. Such lies can help ensure your safety in the moment until you are in a safer situation.

Lying to Our Loved Ones

What if our relatives are grappling with mental health problems or impairment? And it’s not an emergency situation, but it’s clear there is an ongoing problem. Sometimes lies are necessary to help them.

Meredith Gordon Resnick , LCSW, says, “Studies show that for people with severe dementia, sometimes telling an untruth, and doing it carefully and mindfully so as not to undermine trust, may be appropriate."

"Challenging someone with severe memory impairment to 'face the truth' of certain situations—even those that seem benign to someone else—can cause agitation and fear, and can break trust, too. It’s a delicate, individual balance," she also notes.

A Word From Verywell

So while honesty is usually the best policy, there are exceptions. Just about all religions and belief systems, however, extol the virtue of honesty. So while it’s okay to lie, in most cases, it’s better to strive not to.

Columbia Journalism Review. The true origins of 'white lies .'

Levine E, Schweitzer M. Prosocial lies: When deception breeds trust . Org Behav Hum Decis Process . 2015;126:88-106. doi:10.1016/j.obhdp.2014.10.007

Garrett N, Lazzaro SC, Ariely D, Sharot T. The brain adapts to dishonesty .  Nat Neurosci . 2016;19(12):1727-1732. doi:10.1038/nn.4426

American Psychological Association. Lying less linked to better health, new research finds .

By Barbara Field Barbara is a writer and speaker who is passionate about mental health, overall wellness, and women's issues.

8 Different Types of Lies People Tell

No one would deny that lying is a bad habit. Yet many people are clueless as to how big of a problem it is. Sadly, lying can become an unconscious and destructive habit . Let's talk about the different kinds of lies and see if you recognize them.

What to Know About Lying

Types of lies.

Understanding the different types of lies can go a long way in recognizing the issues that the liar is going through - whether it be you or a friend.

1. White Lies

A white lie is often called the least serious of all lies. People tell white lies claiming to be tactful or polite. For example, it could be making up an excuse for not going to a party, or showing appreciation for an undesirable gift. But telling white lies after a while can cause conflict with others because over time they understand the insincerity. That is why white liars can lose their credibility.

Patterns of white lies made over time can create distance between you and others, and destroy your credibility.

Brandon admitted, " Sometimes I say I have plans to do something when I don't, just to get out of having to tell someone I don't want to go with them. It seems like the better option, than saying I don't like you." There are other ways Brandon could turn down somebody's offer than telling a white lie.

Shariah said, " I only lie when I tell people I am doing good when I am sad or depressed. I tell them that because I don't want people knowing about what I go through and how my personal life is."  By telling this white lie she is showing disrespect for the person who asked a relationship-building question and is putting up a roadblock to a deeper relationship.

2. Broken Promises

Broken promises are a failure to keep one's spoken commitment or promise. Broken promises can be especially damaging when the person who made the promise had no intention whatsoever of keeping their word to begin with. Adam said, " I told a girl I know that I'd go with her to the game even though I knew I wouldn't be able to go. I wasn't trying to hurt her, but I didn't know what else to do."

What Adam doesn't understand is that lying to the girl and breaking the promise does double damage, causing hurt feelings that could have been avoided. By breaking his promise he did great damage to her hope. She no doubt was all excited about going to the game with him, only to have her hopes dashed. Broken promises can lead to broken lives.

3. The Lie of Fabrication

Fabrication is telling others something you don't know for sure is true. Fabrications are extremely hurtful because they lead to rumors that can damage someone else's reputation. Spreading rumors is not only a lie but is also stealing another's reputation. Paul wrote, " I admit that I love spreading rumors. It's all about telling lies about someone you don't like. It usually works."

4. The Bold-Faced Lie

A bold-faced lie is telling something that everyone knows is a lie. It's simple and sometimes cute for a little child to tell a bold-faced lie about not eating any cookies, even though there's chocolate all over his or her face.

As we get older, we try to be more clever with our cover-ups. Some people never grow up and deal with their bold-faced lying even though others know what they're saying is completely false. When people hear a bold-faced lie they are resentful that the liar would be so belittling of their time and intelligence.

Sara said, " I hate lying . Especially when I know everybody knows I'm lying . I feel so dumb."  Sara isn't the only one who feels dumb. The people she lies to could also feel the same way.

5. The Lying in Exaggeration

Exaggeration is enhancing a truth by adding lies to it. The person who exaggerates usually mixes truths and untruths to make themselves look impressive to others. An exaggerator can weave truth and lies together causing confusion even to the liar. After awhile the exaggerator begins to believe his or her exaggeration.

Amber confessed she thinks exaggeration actually helped her. " I'm not good at really anything, so I lie about stupid things so that I sound like there is more to me."  An exaggerator is a tragic person because he or she feels so little about themselves that they have to make up stories to look good to others.

6. Lies of Deception

A deceiver tries to create an impression that causes others to be misled, by not telling all the facts, or creating a false impression. Jon admitted he was a deceiver, " Sometimes I don't like being seen as smart, so I'll joke around about how smart I am just to try and get people to think that I'm not that smart. It works sometimes. It doesn't feel like lying , I guess I'm just pretending to be something I'm not." Causing deception is a powerful and hurtful tool. It can be very subtle yet deadly.

7. Plagiarism

Plagiarism is both stealing and lying . It consists of copying someone else's work and calling it your own. Plagiarism is a very serious act. Some college and graduate students have even been kicked out of school because of it.

Scott asked a question and admitted his plagiarizing. " Is it lying to copy something from the internet and call it your own? I do this sometimes when working on a paper for school and I run out of time."  Scott seems to be confused about his plagiarizing. Yes, Scott, it is lying. Just because it is easy to do does not make it right.

8. Compulsive Lying

Compulsive lying is often caused by low self-esteem and a need for attention; in fact, the compulsive liar finds it all but impossible to stop. A compulsive liar tells their mistruths even when telling the truth would be easier and better. Bree said, " This guy I grew up with tells lies like its no tomorrow. What I don't get is that I actually think he believes every word of the lie is true. I think it's ridiculous."  It is more than ridiculous, it is a tragedy.

Have you ever told anyone of these lies? Do you ever wonder if you can get away with lying? The answer is not really. You may be able to lie for a while, but in the end it will come back to haunt you. What starts as a simple white lie over time can turn into a life-destroying habit. It's important to know there is freedom in living and telling the truth. It may be difficult at first, but as Jesus said , The truth shall set you free.

 How to Tell When Someone Is Lying?

Knowing about all these different kinds of lies is great, but what good will it do if we don’t know we’re being lied to? Finding out that you’ve been deceived is a crushing feeling, most of the time… perhaps the most acceptable lie in the entire world is the one you were told so that you’d show up at your own surprise birthday party… if you like surprises, that’s when being deceived might not be the worst feeling. But most of the time, realizing you were lied to makes you feel violated, embarrassed, and sometimes angry. How can we catch liars in action?

• Inconsistent Stories 
• Liars often struggle to keep their stories straight. Have there been contradictions in their explanations?
• Body Language  
• Non-verbal cues can be telling. Look for signs like avoiding eye contact, fidgeting, or unusual gestures. These can be a sign that someone is uncomfortable or nervous, both associated with deceit.
• Changes in Vocal Pitch  
• A noticeable change in someone's voice, such as sudden high-pitched tones or stammering, suggests anxiety, which could be linked to dishonesty.
• Overemphasis and Defensiveness
• Liars may overemphasize their statements or become defensive when questioned. Excessive details or a defensive tone can be red flags. Watch for defensive language, such as excessive use of "I swear" or "to be honest," as it could be a ploy to convince you of their sincerity.
• Inappropriate Smiling or Laughing
• A liar might smile or laugh at odd moments. It could mean they’re trying to diffuse tension or mask their discomfort.
• Avoidance of Direct Answers
• Liars often avoid giving direct answers to straightforward questions. If you ask a follow-up question, do they give you a vague answer? Deflect attention to something else? Change the subject entirely?
• Baseline Behavior
• This one might only be helpful if you know the person well and understand their usual behavior in everyday situations. If they seem to be acting differently than normally, that may indicate they are not being truthful.
• Changes in Blinking Patterns
• Increased blinking or a sudden lack of blinking can be associated with anxiety, which could be because they’re trying to deceive you.

It's important to note that these indicators are not foolproof , and context matters. People may exhibit these behaviors just because they’re confused, anxious, flustered, feeling sick, or in a hurry. Being aware of these signs, however, can alert you to when you should lean in and ask more questions—you’ll either build more trust with someone by noticing when something’s off and offering support, or you’ll learn more about whether someone’s unworthy of your trust.

Are you feeling like you may have a problem with lying and want to get control? Here are 8 practical steps on - How To Stop Lying.

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30 comments on “8 different types of lies people tell”.

I've tried to tell myself to stop lying but every time I say or remind myself that,I would lie about something or the other..

I lied to my wife to hide my feelings for my neighbor who is 23 years younger than me even though there was no intent of everdoing anything with the neighbor. I am a compulsive, conniving liar.

I lie to make other people fear/think bad of me. I exaggerate the truth and fake illness. I victimis myself and gossip about my freinds even though I was truly a victim of racism and child abuse. I can't stop lying, I have bad grades in great classes, and freinds with true mental illness who I am drawn to and put me down. I have severe depression and I am homosexual. I am religious and I have broken 7 of 10 commandments. Please help me.

This is a little off topic, but what do you call it when A tells B the truth yet somehow makes B believe that A was lying to B?

Bald Faced Lies are White Lies. No hiding Broken promises

It's not bald. It's bold faced. In that the person knows they're lying but keep a straight serious face thinking that, with a facial expression that matches the tone of the lie, they appear more credible. It is also bold because, usually, everyone knows it is a lie. An example is someone talking to the police and claiming it wasn't them when the police have all the information and know they're guilty.

You can lie to your mom. You can lie to a cop. You can even lie to a judge or your doctor. But don't lie to your partner. Otherwise, you're just shackin' up with someone you don't really love or respect.

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Types of Lies, Its Benefits or Harms Essay

1. introduction.

Most people would know the lies, but not everyone knows exactly the variety of ways that lies can occur. Basically, every act of lying is considered wrong. However, the act of lying can be broken down into several types, depending on the purpose and the situation at the time of lying. A lie can be divided into effectively good, not good nor bad, and effectively bad (din). Lying is morally and religiously unjustified (haraam), but sometimes necessary. This research will focus on understanding lies, their types, along with their benefits and harms, using a literature review approach. By doing so, it is expected to provoke thinking that lying should never be carried out. Lying is deliberately acting against the truth. In a linguistic sense, lying is a negative term that applies to falsehoods. In practice, intentionally doing something wrong is considered lying. In terms of Islamic law, lying is a term used to describe someone who substantively gives speech and confirmation of an event, knowing that it is not true. This partial act is used to insult people with words, to fault God, and to deny obligations through more speaking.

2. Types of Lies

There are general types of lies: presumptive, straightforward, incomplete, misleading, and lying in the cause. A presumptive lie is a one-sided assertion of a fact (a judgment, belief) about a future act of a person – and if a person knows that the fact dispels, it is dishonest to pronounce this judgment, since in skepticism it is orally expressed by "presumptive" ("I doubt it can be called a lie"; "I suspect – so I consider it my duty to clarify the party that" etc.). In "elementary" doubt, convincing all parties begins only with a completely implicit "good faith", because even the suggestion of a lie completely conflicts with "while you are in conversation" (in a serious conversation). When scheduling the contents of information, one should realize that they have the derivative character of the deduced (affected) variable – all the direct participants in the dialogue subjectively and figuratively "see" it – managing the correctness of this fact requires a verbal delimitation of the "strategic" nature, which complies with Ant-directory conditions. Upstream to the maximum – it is necessary to ensure that the proper use of linguistic means is verified and related to the problem of successful implementation of very purposefully long-abridged (text-posted) implications of each member of communication. The main responsibility for specifying the applicability and relevance of information to the sensitivity of all parties to the dialogue falls upon the veiled incoming act. Of course, the partner who is independently collective at a low level can carry out significant corrections. When the parties can observe for each other the use of a certain information, they regularly integrate sufficient advanced mechanisms of self-regulation, strengthening the "strategic" discipline of the dialogue. It must correspond not only to existing formal theories, which are carried out against a clearly theoretical dialogue, but also to extensive empirical generalizations, which only receive praise not directly on disadvantages.

2.1. White Lies

It is necessary for every person to constantly lie in order to build relationships with their relatives and friends. Nevertheless, people have to lie, regardless of whether they are more vulnerable to honesty or more selfish. We find out the most common types of lies and what benefits or harms they bring to spouses and family members of these liars. The most common types of lies are "white lies". This type of lie is the softest and most casual. In contrast, a lie is told to prevent oneself and other people, and often leads to more beneficial and positive consequences for those affected by a lie than honesty itself. White lies doubt that they differ from others that are often stupid. This type of lie usually shows up when you visit the home of friends or parents, and our host asks the unpleasant question: "How do you think about the food?". It is quite likely that this food does not suit us. In many cases, we will answer "good" or "wonderful". If we tell the truth, we risk obtaining and also offend the host. Thus, lies have saved a lot of misunderstandings and personality in the relationship between close people. The above example is for illustrative purposes, but it is necessary to see that in close relationships people tell one another white lies without wanting negative effects on you. Of course, this does not mean that people who lie are good or beneficent, but under any circumstances, decency time often occurs in our closest relationships to avoid medication or feelings of guilt. It is known that spouses, on average, are related white relatives by one white lying time. Through statistical data, the validity of a white relative is a one-time basis or not at all. A white puzzle is not only supposed to be a problem between our partner and us but also to our partners. As described by the researchers, there is only one reason to cover those reasons why we hide our partner with the fact that we have an affair in the workplace, on a material basis. The researchers found that by one hundred and fifty-seven individuals thirteen percent of those students wanted to confirm that they could not tell the truth to their partner: in three quarters of this twelve percent (seven percent affects impersonation, two percent because of their partners' partner or study of business, the ache. This is likely to prove essentially appropriate lies, although our alternatives are founded on the solid basis of friendly affections.

2.2. Omission Lies

Lying is permitted and permissible for the purpose of reconciling people, such as husband and wife. An example of this is "haǵağa" lies (sincere lies). The Prophet (peace be upon him) had said, "Lying is not good except in three occasions: when a person omits something, when a man speaks to his wife in order to reconcile them both, and during a war. If you do this in organizing things, it's fine." Lies that are motivated to reconcile two people include the story of the blind husband and the wife (Hadith Amrul bin Khaldun). The story of the blind husband is often used to protect the honor of women and to understand the behavior or attitude of her husband. The same thing was also expressed by Imam al-Qurtubi. He said, "Lying is legitimate for reconciling parents with each other, reconciling a husband with his wife, reconciling friends with friends, and reconciling other people." Based on the above literature, the lies that are permissible to say because of being motivated to reconcile two people are: the first lie of the husband to the wife in order to reconcile them both. This is based on a related hadith, which is the advice of our Prophet Muhammad on how to be a good wife in order to maintain domestic harmony.

2.3. Fabricated Lies

A fabricated lie is actually a white lie, emerging to prevent the other horrid feelings or criticisms. The causeway is the justice and human principle: to prevent the better curtail that reveals error making or some results. A fabricated lie is used vastly generally in order not to affect the relationships, whether for the people around themselves or for their friends, or to prevent bigger problems. A fabricated lie is also used for the relationship targets. In this way, the aim customer at the period choosing the doctor and going to make shopping is an instance supporting the argument, to prevent the hospital and doctor from being harmed, and the visual speech which is customary to all the patients in order to be cured within a short time. CAUSES AND INCONVENIENCES OF THE LIES. THE AIMS OF THIS STUDY. THE LIES IN RESPECT OF ETHIC PRINCIPLES. Lying is the event which is seldom used without wearing only the lie with the big purpose which will be tried to be accepted as universal. The falsehood is named when it is used for commercial or occupational purposes, and the big stake entertainment. Discriminatively, some other abutments classify per some titles so that not to need placing in the same frame of reasoning it within the scope of a big lie biting justice games.

3. Benefits of Lies

One of the benefits of lying is that it is always a good way to sleep well at night. When one tells a lie, they may reap unexpected results. One may tell a lie out of impulse and accidentally discover that lying gave a different turn to the person or situation. This may be enough to tell oneself that it was not profoundly wrong to have told the lie. Many people have told a lie because at the time, they felt it was the most peaceful option. One might feel that telling the truth would cause great depression, or by telling a lie, one could prevent themselves from getting into trouble. One of the benefits of lying comes about when a lie manages to alter a problematic situation for the better. One lie might lead to a pile of lies. This is especially common in the case where a lie is told to cover up the previous lie. These multiple layers of lies may eventually grow until they turn into a quilt, wrapping someone completely in a cocoon of dishonesty and breach of trust. At this point, it becomes easier to identify that telling the truth provides one with the chance to break free from the prison of lies and salvage a relationship based on false pretense. Lies lead to devastation of others. As it's always said, truths can hurt people's feelings a lot. The truth can leave someone crushed, dissatisfied, and more likely to end relationships. Through lies, the creation of resilience builds up in people. Once a person is used to lies, they begin to shield themselves by lowering expectations.

3.1. Protection of Feelings

A social lie is often used to protect the feelings of an individual. Many people believe they are participating in this type of lie when they use it to save an individual from becoming sad. An example of this involves telling a friend that she looks great in a dress when in reality it makes her appear larger than she actually is. By telling her a white lie, others believe that she is protected from some of the negativity the truth may have caused her. Many people appreciate having someone look out for them in such a manner and people believe lying is a great way to achieve this. Unfortunately, there can be negative consequences for speaking lies solely to protect others from potential negativity. If a person goes to great lengths to hide the truth from others, multiple hidden agendas often become an issue. This can lead to further strain on another's feelings because they may feel that harassment or ridicule is likely in the form of lying. In order for honesty to become the most common policy personally, within families, and among friends, people must develop ways of protecting feelings without relying on deceitful words.

3.2. Maintaining Relationships

People tell lies for various reasons, including their loved ones, relationships, families, and friends. By speaking the truth, they may face severe repercussions. Their hearts may become soft, and it will hurt them when they have to correct or insult others. Hence, to avoid embarrassment and depression, people resort to lying. Because if they tell lies, they can easily rectify it and manage the situation within a few hours or even at that particular time itself. In some cases, relationships make us lie. Most people will lie many times to maintain good relationships among their family members, friends, colleagues, and environment. Lies are told for various reasons. Many simply find themselves determined to take control of their personal lives. They constantly lie to protect their privacy and themselves from their daily routine. It may be a good feeling for many. The need to respect personal boundaries and privacy of people can create negative feelings against them and can result in telling lies. For example, if they are asked about their desires or future plans in life, speaking the truth, which may be rude, can disappoint people or create negative feelings that may lead to a strained relationship. So, people find lying is rather easier than speaking the truth to save their relationships and maintain harmony.

4. Harms of Lies

• The first harm of lying is that it is intrinsically wrong, and kinds of punishment may not make lying entirely haram. The Islamic jurist al-Ghazali considers it a capital sin. Muhammad is reported to have said: "The biggest lie even in love focuses on the loved one, falsifying what a man tells his wife, except in three ways." The best solution to avoid lying is to be sure that we are accustomed to saying what is true, without being excessive, and conveying what is in the heart without pretentiousness and fraud. Also, to get closer to the Creator according to what Allah ordered. • The second harm of lying is that most people despise those who lie. Good leaders, in leading their subjects, never lie. The more a person lies, the more others are reluctant to trust them. Again, a leader should lie as little as possible because a leader is not only entitled to be able to compromise or face the people with their mind, but they also hold an educational mission. The Prophet has said that "The one who often lies is written as a liar by the angel." The best solution to avoid it is to know the facts, which can be elaborated on properly, and to be sure of what is said according to the conditions of the concept, without being pretentious or misleading.

4.1. Erosion of Trust

The prominence of lying in the lives of adults suggests that lying might be a learned behavior, communicated and learned through imitation or direct and indirect advice. Studies have found that children as young as 3 years old and up to the end of adolescence lie. By the late teens, children begin to lie in more sophisticated ways, using dark humor and inventing tales. It is more worrying to learn that adults are being taught to lie than children, especially if the liar is trying to avoid punishment and gain a reward. So lying is an important aspect of many adult and child confidential conversations, including adult-child conversations when children come to regret the behavior they have done. The importance of this topic of communication lies is paramount, and children and adults are interdependent partners in everyday communication. Lies are often told by children and adults to have fun, avoid negative consequences, and to be polite. For example, to facilitate social discomfort. The purpose of lying is to avoid responsibility for more destructive consequences. Argyle uses six types of lies, Murnighan's, and the final type is "white lies." A white lie is a benign lie that the teller tells out of compassion or, more generally, for the perceived benefit of the teller (luxury omissions). That is, a lie is white when it is made to protect the disaster of telling the truth and produces important beneficial effects for the beneficiary. In line with Ahooja, white lies are fundamental to the (successful) interdependence of cultures, limitations that operate in real-time life. Indeed, the idea that ordinary people intentionally intend white lies as well as nonwhite lies forgoes the results we might well expect of ordinary "lies." Erosion of trust in relationships. Early research identified trust as a critical component of successful relationships and economic cooperation. Valencia investigated different types of trust that could potentially be affected by lies, concluding that lies could negatively impact regulations, relationships, and identification trust. In his discussion of trustworthy communication between team members in an organization, Dean found that continuous lying creates suspicion, a core component of identifying trust (or the lack thereof).

4.2. Emotional Distress

Lies can also cause strong emotional distress: the impossibility of showing authentic emotions forces lie-tellers to consciously simulate the behaviors they should feel, and continuously monitor the behavior of the interaction partner while hiding their authentic feelings and evaluating the feedback to detect the cheater. This controlled cognitive elaboration prevents lie-tellers from naturally experiencing real emotions and leads them to an experience of emotional distress. Moreover, even when individuals begin to naturally implement a deceptive strategy, as Gombos demonstrated, its level of emotional distress is rapidly and constantly high. Very little is known about the neurophysiological correlates of this emotional impact. The limited neuroimaging evidence available suggests that the right prefrontal cortex activated during a lie-telling might be sensitive to the threat posed by lie-detection and to the emotional distress associated with the act. In a recent study, the researchers analyzed resting-state electroencephalographic rhythms in a group of high-frequency lie-tellers and lying-novices to investigate whether the high emotional impact of lying may be a correlate of a neurophysiological trait and not only of a subjective feeling. Just before the beginning of lying, lie-tellers showed an increased activation of the right prefrontal cortex, lower frontal theta and higher parietal mu rhythm amplitude than novices. These results suggest that experience in lying is associated with an approach motivation and an anticipation feeling, related to the upcoming act of lying, and to the active inhibition of the recognition of one’s own lie-telling intentions by others. In conclusion, although lies can be useful, when not detected, repeated and chronic lying acts as a strong stressor. Over time, the lives of liars frequently become complicated by a pervasive negative affect, increasing psychological and biological costs.

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“The Ways We Lie” Analysis & “The Ways We Lie” Summary

“the ways we lie” analysis: introduction, the ways we lie (stephanie ericsson) analysis: main body, “the ways we lie” analysis: conclusion, works cited.

Nowadays people are so obsessed with lies and use lies to cover their follies and weaknesses. Some lies are harmless and do not badly affect others. Most of the people tell lies to escape from silly problems. The lies that are told for noble causes are to be neglected because the reason behind the intension to tell that is valid. But most of the people tell lies for mere pleasure. The essay, “The Ways We Lie”, by Stephanie Ericsson analysis various types of lies told by people in their day-to-day life. Even though the author deals with the various kinds of lies, the motivation behind this habit is not adequately evaluated in this essay. Stephanie Ericsson points out that once she tried to keep away from lies but it was impossible for her. She identifies the kinds of lies we all tell at one time or another. It is unavoidable and sometimes beneficial to us. She further goes on to justify the reason behind the habit of telling lies.

The essay is aimed on educated and general audience because the theme and tone of the essay is applicable to all. The essay is published in the Utne Reader for November/December 1992. ‘Companion Through the Darkness: Inner Dialogues on Grief’, is another book by Stephanie Ericsson which was published in 1993.She realized that telling truth for all the time is impossible as telling a lie for no reason has become part of everyone’s life.“ I once tried going a whole week without telling a lie, and it was paralyzing. I discovered that telling the truth all the time is nearly impossible. It means living with some serious consequences.” (Ericsson). When one tries to live without lies, he/she must be ready to face serious consequences of the same. To be extreme truthful is to face extreme serious situations in life. So, a mixture of truth and lie is the possible way for an average individual. One needs to grasp the essential difference between harmless and harmful lies; most of the lies that people use in day to day life is harmless. The motivation behind most of the lies is not to cheat others but to have a temporary escape from trivial situations. It is better to avoid lies that affect ones reputation in the society. This work explores the effectiveness and relevance of the theme selected for the essay. It further goes on to explore the evidence given by the author, effect of lying in daily life, and effectiveness of the argument in favour of lying. The logic behind the work is simple, but is based on the basic instinct of all human beings, i.e. the habit of lying. The emotion revealed by the author is irony, but not much serious. But it is able to touch the very heart of the reader. The theme selected and the personal experiences included reveal the credibility of the author. Thesis statement:-Stephanie Ericsson categorises the lies into so many categories: however, she fails to identify and analyse the hidden reasons behind telling lies. This creates a negative effect on the reader.

One’s claims for the lies are to be substantiated with evidences and the author rightly shows evidences to prove the habit of lying. Most types of lies that one uses in one’s daily life, like the white lie, ignoring plain facts, deflecting, omissions etc are discussed (described), but the reason behind the same is not revealed. Stephanie Ericsson uses the words like ‘they say’ and ‘I say’ to divide the idea of lying between her personal experience and the experience by others. The reader can easily identify the person behind idea and experience. It is evident that the seriousness of the situation forces an individual to tell lies. When one considers the seriousness of a lie, or its effect, the situation which forced the individual to do so must be considered. However, the article fails to unearth the hidden reasons behind lies: “She, basically, gave various lies that people tell on a regular basis. By not explaining why people lie has a negative affect on the reader and her essay. She did not completely explain her logic and arguments.” (Ericsson). So this creates a negative effect on the reader about the motives of lies. Moreover, the author is unable to explain her logic behind her argument and as such the article falls short of substantiation of the arguments dealt with. For example, the same lie that is used in different situations creates different effects. This is not specified in the essay even though it is important.

The essay is one sided because only the effect of lies is described but the situation and the reason behind each lie is discarded. This breaks the uniformity of ideas that are used in the essay. For example, the author points out various types of lies that are used by husband and wife, but the motivation behind them is ignored. Simple description of the types of lies may not create a positive effect on the reader. The author points out that lies are used to escape from trivial situations. But the author herself considers that, to use lies in certain situations is not dishonest. The reason that is given to clarify this point of view is that these types of lies are meant not to hurt others but to escape from silly problems. From the beginning itself, the readers can identify that the author is not against telling lies. If the author is against telling lies, readers can expect ideas against the abuse of lies.

The detailed description of lies does not help the reader to find out the hidden reason behind the habit of telling lies. But the author goes on describing various types of lies. Author says that the white lie is harmless and aiming to help others. Facades are lies that help people to pretend and sometimes they prove to be destructive. And it is similar to the next type of lie, i.e., ‘Ignoring plain facts’, which helps traitors to cover their face behind masks. For example, the author mentions the story of Father James Porter who was a sexual molester of little children. By ignoring the fact about James Porter, Church got indirectly involved in the issue. This was like an indirect co-operation from the side of church. Deflecting is another form of lie where it takes the form of refusal of responding and screaming out of frustration. Omission is another lie where the important topic is omitted and unimportant topic is focused with due importance. For example, the omission of Lilith from The Holy Bible is aimed to keep women weak. Stereotypes and clichés are used to close human mind and to separate them by categorizing them and generalizing them. Group think is a sort of lie which forces the individual to be loyal to the group and it helps the individual to ignore facts that are considered as unwanted. So one can see that Group think initiated the tendency to ignore basic facts and it is evident from this example of Japanese attack of Pearl Harbour on December 7, 1941. The decision of the American forces to stay there ignoring the warning created the critical situation. The out and out lies are the lies that are easily confronted. Moreover, this may be in the form of an argument. Usually, children use this lie to confuse the elders. Dismissal is the slipperiest of all lies and this lie is capable to create damages on personality and reputation. This lie is rooted in mental disorder and it is serious. Delusion is the end of the lies that are described by the author. This lie helps the individual to see excuses as real facts. The reality behind this tendency is that human mind has the power to transform lies to truth. It is also a survival mechanism. The last two forms of lies that are discussed are related to mental disorders and they must be treated according to medical norms. The work helps the reader to know more about the seriousness of telling lies and its effect on individual. But it fails to justify the reason behind the tendency to tell lies. But it is evident that most of the people, whether they are urban or not , show the tendency to tell lies. This creates a negative effect on the reader. The purpose of the essay is to create awareness in the reader about various types of lies in order to give a correct idea of its influence on individuals. Author is in a conversational mood and is able to have a mutual understanding with the reader through the description of various types of lies which are familiar to all.

The counter arguments against the issue of telling lie is that it is a safety valve that protects the individual from emotional burst by telling silly lies. It can be seen that telling lies provide pleasure and relief to individuals who feel frustration. The society can ignore silly lies but the lies that are related to psychological problems must not be ignored and it must undergo proper medical treatment. The essay fails to address the issue adequately and also to provide remedial measures to avoid the tendency to tell lies.

The author tries to evaluate various types of lies that influence the individuals and their lives. Some consider telling lies as an emotional outlet. Some others consider it as a silly thing equal to conversation. Some others use lies to create problem to themselves and to others. The tendency to repeat lies is to be tackled with the help of medical science because it create problem in society.

It is evident that the theme selected for the essay is general and applicable to the whole world. The essay is well worth because it helps the reader to have a broader outlook about lies and the effect of lies. The strength of the essay is that it is in a conversational mood and it helps the reader to grasp the content easily. The theme is simple and is closely connected to the day to day life of individuals. Whereas, the weakness of the essay is that it fail to verify the cause of this behaviour. The positive effect created by the use of a general topic nullifies the negative side of the essay. Her style is informal and she uses colloquial language and usages to justify her claim. The essay is based on the writer’s own experiences which possess a universal appeal. Humour keeps the free flow of idea without any interruption. For example, personal experiences on day to day life. The style of sentences used is simple and convincing and are not lengthy.For example, use of colloquial words and usages. The general organisation of the essay is loose but does not hinder the flow of ideas.

The essay, “The Ways We Lie”, by Stephanie Ericsson analysis various types of lies and their effects on the individual’s life. The author categorises the lies into categories but fails to analyse the hidden reasons behind this habit. Moreover, the author does not provide any remedial measures to avoid the influence of lies. The plot of the essay is loosely tied and it affects the unity of ideas. Analysis of the essay helps the reader to have a clear idea about various types of lies. But it fails to defend the reasons or to suggest possible solution for the focus behavioural problem, i.e. telling lies.

Ericsson, Stephanie. The Way We Lie , an Analysis. BookRags. 2006. Web.

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Why Do People Lie?

White lies, strategic lies, and alternative facts..

Posted February 20, 2017

“Have you weighed yourself since we got back?” my wife asked.

“No,” I lied.

“Yes you have. You’re lying.” She was right. I had been on a diet before heading off on vacation, with all the intention of at least maintaining my weight but I had put back three pounds. So I lied. And my best friend since 1978 knew I had.

“I’ve never lied to you,” I lied again.

A gentle smile emerged, paired with a barely creased forehead that had slightly tugged up her eyebrows. Combined with the casual tilt of her head this picture was indeed worth a thousand words, distilled down to two, “Oh yeah?” And we both laughed.

Why did I lie? How did my wife know I was lying? How did I then know, based on her expression, that I knew she knew I was lying?

Being untruthful about the three pounds I had put back on was not hurting my wife, although it could have an influence on our relationship if I’d been seriously lying. As we both laughed I admitted I had weighed myself, felt ashamed, embarrassed, and mad at myself for not being able to maintain those first few enthusiastic days, and succumbing to culinary temptation. This “white lie” was told so that I would remain esteemed in my wife’s eyes and she knew that. So instead of becoming angry, my wife congratulated me on only putting on three, and encouraged me to not give up but keep up my quest to lose weight.

Two basic types of lying: white and strategic

In general, there are two types of lies. A ‘white lie” is one we make to maintain our social status. We lie to preserve an image of ourselves, just as I lied to my wife about my weight.

In another example one early morning I heard yelling from the kitchen. I went downstairs to find my three year old son had snuck into the walk-in pantry and climbed up onto the counter. Milano cookies were scattered on the shelf floor, each pulled apart into its two white halves. My three year old was screaming in fright, terrified and harassed by an intrigued and dive-bombing honey bee attracted to the coating of chocolate that dappled my child's face. The bee buzzed around the chocolate streaks that were concentrated around my boy’s mouth, then flit to his cheeks, forehead, hands and pajamas where the chocolate had migrated in a sure and steady trail.

After shooing the bee out the pantry and through an open window in the kitchen, I gently lifted my son off the ledge on which he had been trapped, and asked if he had been licking the chocolate off the coated cookies.

“Oh no, Dad,” he said to me in all seriousness. “Not me. I would never do that!”

His face was covered in chocolate. His Theory of Mind was developed enough to know that I was not going to be happy that he had taken cookies without permission. So he lied. He wanted me to see him a certain way; as a good and obedient boy, a person of value. He knew he was not meant to eat the cookies without permission, or he would not have snuck into the kitchen to begin with. But the urge was overwhelming, and he transgressed, taking the calculated risk of being caught, never anticipating the honey bee.

Being so young his Theory of Mind was only partially developed and he could not appreciate that I could see the evidence of cookie eating as plain as the chocolate speckled nose on his face. He had literally been caught with his hand in the cookie jar. But despite his stealing the cookies, from my perspective no harm had been done to me. To our relationship perhaps, as now I recognized my son’s I-M had changed, and he was old enough to lie.

As stealing in general is not an action condoned in society, people go to great lengths to conceal stealing, and will very often lie if confronted. My three year son had just demonstrated his ability to discern the difference between a socially condoned act and one that is not condoned. I wish I had been quick enough on my feet to use that as a teaching moment about stealing and lying in general, but readers may want to consider this story the next time they catch their kid, or anyone, with their hand in the cookie jar.

Many journalists have avoided accusing President Trump of lying. The new administration has coined the term “alternative facts”. The great 1950 Japanese jidaigeki film directed by Akira Kurosawa, Rashomon, depicted the different perspectives of four people who all saw the same thing but interpreted them different ways. None of them were really lying, just interpreting the same information in different ways.

But many of us are now faced with trying to figure out if these are white lies or strategic lies where one person or group tries to deceive another person or group for personal gain. How do you know who to trust? Without trust you or the other person is probably going to walk away. Only if trust is given will the interaction potentially turn into an exchange- be it in commerce, employment, a date with a potential mate, who you vote for, all the way even to a peace treaty between countries. I will return to these darker lies in another blog.

It's an I-M thing.

Shrand, J., with Devine, L. "Do You Really Get Me?" (2015) Hazelden Press

Joseph Shrand, M.D. , is an instructor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School.

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The 6 Kinds Of Lies And Why We Tell Them

Everyone lies, whether they'd like to admit it or not. here's why, and how our different lies can affect us..

By Mark Travers, Ph.D. | February 23, 2024

Whether it is a white lie, gray lie, real lie or a small, inconsequential lie , everyone indulges in some form of lying across their lifetime. Its ubiquity seems unaffected by its moral disapproval and potential to harm one's reputation and relationships. Although the direct consequences of a lie are usually minimal when it goes undetected and unpunished, there may still be a psychological cost associated with it.

A delicate balance exists between honesty and deception that involves a careful consideration of the advantages to be gained that cannot be achieved by truthful means. People are often tempted to lie when the potential benefits outweigh the potential costs. Which brings us to:

Decoding The Motives Behind Lying

A 2018 study described the psychological process behind lies on the basis of two factors: the beneficiary and the motivation. The decision to lie is influenced by the beneficiary or the person who will benefit from the lie. The motivation behind the lie can be to either obtain a desirable outcome or prevent an undesirable outcome. Researchers came up with six types of lies based on the reasons that lead people to be dishonest:

• Self-oriented beneficial lies. These lies are told to obtain positive outcomes for oneself. For example, claiming that a sum of money found is one's own.
• Self-oriented protective lies. These lies are directed at avoiding a negative outcome or loss for oneself. For example, falsely denying hitting another car while parking.
• Other-oriented beneficial lies . These lies are aimed at securing positive outcomes or achieving gains for others. For example, lying to a supervisor to support a co-worker's claim of illness.
• Other-oriented protective lies. These lies are spoken to protect others from loss or negative outcomes. For example, falsely telling one's parents that one is doing well to prevent them from worrying.
• Pareto beneficial lies. These lies are told to benefit the liar as well as another person. For example, falsifying the results in one's group project to get a better grade.
• Pareto protective lies. These lies are spoken to prevent loss to oneself and another person. For example, a team manager telling superiors at work that they could not meet an important deadline due to technical issues, rather than blaming their team for not completing the task or taking personal accountability.

Irrespective of why people choose to lie, psychological burden of being deceptive weighs heavy on the conscience. Even if the lie goes undetected, the process of lying itself can be an inherently stressful activity.

Unveiling The Hidden Costs Of Deception

Lying can have a substantial impact on one's well-being. Research shows that people with a tendency to conceal the truth are more preoccupied with their lie and experience higher levels of negative emotions and lower life and relationship satisfaction.

The liar might find themselves consumed by the fear of the recipient discovering the truth. This fear may stem from guilt, paranoia or the ramifications of deception for one's integrity and their relationship with the recipient. The extent to which people fear discovery can influence how preoccupied they are with the lie and the level of negative emotions they subsequently feel.

A 2023 study examined the psychological consequences of telling lies. Liars were affected by their lies in the following ways:

• Lower self-esteem. Liars had lower self-esteem than those who spoke the truth. Additionally, lying on any given day decreased the person's self-esteem compared to their self-esteem on the previous day as well as their average self-esteem level.
• Higher negative affect. Researchers found that individuals who lied experienced the negative emotions of nervousness, regret, discomfort, unhappiness, guilt, embarrassment, shame and anger to a greater extent than those who were truthful.
• Lower positive affect. In addition to evaluating negative emotions, researchers assessed liars for four positive emotions. People who lied experienced less comfort, happiness, relief and pride than their truthful counterparts.

The psychological costs of lying are profound and extend to various facets of well-being. These detrimental effects emphasize the importance of honesty in maintaining a healthy sense of self and positive relationships with others. It can be difficult to resist the alluring pull of lying, but overcoming this challenge is possible through cultivating self-awareness and seeking expert help .

Wondering if your lies are impacting your well-being? Take this survey to find out: Survey of Pathological Lying Behaviors

A similar version of this article can also be found on Forbes.com, here .

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Home / Essay Samples / Literature / The Ways We Lie / Understanding Lies Through Stephanie Ericcson’s The Ways We Lie

Understanding Lies Through Stephanie Ericcson’s The Ways We Lie

• Category: Literature
• Topic: Lying , The Ways We Lie

Pages: 3 (1258 words)

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Works Cited

• Ericsson, Stephanie. The Ways We Lie.
• Herbert, Bob. “Behind the Facade.” The New York Times, The New York Times, 4 July 2009, https://www.nytimes.com/2009/07/04/opinion/04herbert.html. 

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