fear of being alone essay

Essay About Being Alone: 5 Examples and 8 Prompts

To explore your understanding of this subject, read the following examples of an essay about being alone and prompts to use in your next essay.  

Being alone and lonely are often used interchangeably, but they don’t have the same meaning.

Everyone has a different notion of what being alone means. Some think it’s physically secluding yourself from people, while others regard it as the feeling of serenity or hopelessness even in the middle of a crowd.

Being alone offers various benefits, such as finding peace and solitude to reflect and be creative. However, too much isolation can negatively impact physical and mental health . 

By understanding the contrast between the meaning of being alone and being lonely, you’ll be able to express your thoughts clearly and deliver a great essay. 

1. Why I Love Being Alone by Role Reboot and Chanel Dubofsky

2. why do i like being alone so much [19 possible reasons] by sarah kristenson, 3. things to do by yourself by kendra cherry, 4. the art of being alone, but not lonely by kei hysi, 5.  my biggest fear was being alone by jennifer twardowski, 8 writing prompts on essay about being alone, 1. why you prefer to be alone, 2. things learned from being alone, 3. pros and cons of being alone, 4. being alone vs. being lonely, 5. the difference between being alone vs. being with someone else, 6. the fear of being alone, 7. how to enjoy your own company without being lonely.

“For me, being alone is something I choose, loneliness is the result of being alone, or feeling alone when I haven’t chosen it, but they aren’t the same, and they don’t necessarily lead to one another.”

In this essay, the authors make it clear that being alone is not the same as being lonely. They also mention that it’s a choice to be alone or be lonely with someone. Being alone is something that the authors are comfortable with and crave to find peace and clarity in their minds. For more, see these articles about being lonely .

“It’s important to know why you want to be alone. It can help you make the best of that time and appreciate this self-quality. Or, if you’re alone for negative reasons, it can help you address things in your life that may need to be changed.”

Kristenson’s essay probes the positive and negative reasons a person likes being alone. Positive reasons include creativity, decisiveness, and contentment as they remove themselves from drama.

The negative reasons for being alone are also critical to identify because they lead to unhealthy choices and results such as depression. The negative reasons listed are not being able to separate your emotions from others, thinking the people around you dislike you and being unable to show your authentic self to others because you’re afraid people might not like you.

“Whether you are an introvert who thrives on solitude or a gregarious extrovert who loves socializing, a little high-quality time to yourself can be good for your overall well-being.”

In this essay, Cherry points out the importance of being alone, whether you’re an introvert or an extrovert. She also mentions the benefits of allocating time for yourself and advises on how to enjoy your own company. Letting yourself be alone for a while will help you improve your memory, creativity, and attention to detail, making them more productive.

“You learn to love yourself first. You need to explore life, explore yourselves, grow through challenges, learn from mistakes, get out of your comfort zone, know your true potential, and feel comfortable in your own skin. The moment you love yourself, you become immune to loneliness.”

Hysi explores being alone without feeling lonely. He argues that people must learn to love and put themselves first to stop feeling lonely. This can be challenging, especially for those who put themselves last to serve others. He concludes that loving ourselves leads to a better life. 

“We have to be comfortable in our own skin and be willing to be who we truly are, unapologetically. We have to love ourselves unconditionally and, through that love, be willing to seek out what our hearts truly desire — both in our relationships and in our life choices.”

The author discusses why she’s afraid of being alone and how she overcame it. Because she was scared of getting left alone, she always did things to please anyone, even if she wasn’t happy about it.  What was important to her then was that she was not alone. But she realized she would still feel lonely even if she wasn’t alone. 

Learning to be true to herself helped her overcome what she was afraid of. One key to happiness and fulfillment is loving yourself and always being genuine.

Did you finally have ideas about how to convey your thoughts about being alone after reading the samples above? If you’re now looking for ideas on what to talk about in your essay, here are 8 prompts to consider.

Read the best essay writing tips to incorporate them into your writing.

Today, many people assume that individuals who want to be alone are lonely. However, this is not the case for everyone. 

You can talk about a universal situation or feeling your readers will easily understand. Such as wanting to be alone when you’re mad or when you’re burnout from school or work. You can also talk about why you want to be alone after acing a test or graduating – to cherish the moment.

People tend to overthink when they are alone. In this essay, discuss what you learned from spending time alone. Perhaps you have discovered something about yourself, found a new hobby, or connected with your emotions.

Your essay can be an eye-opener for individuals contemplating if they want to take some time off to be alone. Explain how you felt when alone and if there were any benefits from spending this time by yourself.

While being alone has several benefits, such as personal exploration or reflection, time to reboot, etc., too much isolation can also have disadvantages. Conduct research into the pros and cons of alone time, and pick a side to create a compelling argumentative essay . Then, write these in your essay. Knowing the pros and cons of being alone will let others know when being alone is no longer beneficial and they’ll need someone to talk to.

We all have different views and thoughts about being alone and lonely. Write your notion and beliefs about them. You can also give examples using your real-life experiences. Reading different opinions and ideas about the same things broadens your and your readers’ perspectives.

Some people like being with their loved ones or friends rather than spending time alone. In this prompt, you will share what you felt or experienced when you were alone compared to when you were with someone else. For you, what do you prefer more? You can inform your readers about your choice and why you like it over the other.

While being alone can be beneficial and something some people crave, being alone for a long time can be scary for others. Write about the things you are most afraid of, such as, “What if I die alone, would there be people who will mourn for me?”  This will create an emotive and engaging essay for your next writing project.

Learning to be alone and genuinely enjoying it contributes to personal growth. However, being comfortable in your skin can still be challenging. This essay offers the reader tips to help others get started in finding happiness and tranquillity in their own company. Discuss activities that you can do while being alone. Perhaps create a list of hobbies and interests you can enjoy while being alone. 

Interested in learning more? Read our guide on descriptive essay s for more inspiration!

My Monster: The Fear of Being Alone Essay

• To find inspiration for your paper and overcome writer’s block
• As a source of information (ensure proper referencing)
• As a template for you assignment

Introduction

Fighting my monster, comparison with literature, works cited.

The fear of being alone is a psychological attitude that is very difficult to recognize. A person can suffer from it all their life but not even understand it. They explain the desire to constantly be in the company to themselves by character traits, for example, sociability. At the same time, they do not even suspect that, in fact, their life is controlled by an evil creature. Sometimes the fear of loneliness turns into a monster, becoming so strong that its destructive nature prevents a person from living a full life.

The monster blurs the line between the natural human unwillingness to become an outcast and a disease, subjugating all spheres of life, and gradually absorbing the thirst for life. Thus, my monster is the fear of being alone, and it is similar to several literary characters at once: Grendel’s mother, the Demon Lover, and the fear of a couple from Once Upon a Time.

When the monster of the fear of loneliness appeared in my life, I tried to fight it, but sooner or later, my strength ran out, and I could not resist its attacks. Now it is smaller than before because I realized that I need to try to be friends with it. When I am overcome with anxiety, I do meditation, yoga, and breathing exercises. I try to feel my body, to be alone with myself, without being distracted by external stimuli, to feel what a blessing it is to be myself here and now. When I find the strength to approach the monster and look it straight in the eyes, it no longer seems so scary; this way, I manage to keep my monster at bay.

My monster is more like Grendel’s mother than Grendel himself or the dragon. After a glorious and difficult victory over Grendel, Beowulf receives well-deserved praise, rich gifts, and gratitude from Hrothgar and all Danish warriors. Everyone sits down to feast and celebrate and does not expect the arrival of Grendel’s furious mother, who bursts into the hall and grabs Hrothgar’s closest friend and adviser (Mittman and Hensel 78). Being weaker and more cautious than her son, she immediately runs away to her swamp, dragging the victim with her.

My “Grendel,” whom I killed under the cheers of society, was self-love. Since childhood, I have heard that praising myself and rejoicing in my successes is bad and is called selfishness and arrogance. Therefore, I gradually began to think that I was worse than others. Because of this, I had a feeling that no one wanted me in their life, started to feel suspicion towards relatives, friends, and family, and the need for constant confirmation of feelings. And then, unexpectedly, like Grendel’s mother, the monster of loneliness appeared: after all, I killed my love for myself.

Once Upon a Time

My fear is more like the fear of a white married couple from “Once Upon a Time” than the fear from “The Thing in The Forest” since it is purely internal. The heroes are convinced that blacks are guilty of all the crimes taking place in their neighborhood (Rizzardi 792). They have a prejudice, which in this case is not supported by external facts; therefore, their fear is purely internal and irrational.

My fear of being left alone also has no external evidence. My parents were never cold to me: they always paid attention to me, kissed and hugged me, and paid a lot of attention to my feelings and desires. My friends also always say that I am a wonderful friend, that they appreciate me, and I am dear to them without any conditions. Nevertheless, it still seems to me that I can be left alone; in any criticism, I find confirmation of my words, even if the remark made was fair.

The Demon Lover

My monster is somewhat similar to the demon from “The Demon Lover”; first of all, he is a magical creature from the fantasy world, not belonging to the human world. In addition, at the end of the novel, Callie realizes that she needs a demon; she is drawn to darkness. The heroine falls in love with her demon, and this love turns out to be mutual (Fan 103). The demon himself tells her that a lie told out of love is a lie for good.

My monster is also an unreal creature: there are many people around me who love and appreciate me. My demon is necessary for me to love myself again; like Callie, I will be able to overcome it only when I become friends with it. Thus, despite the fact that my monster is lying to me, it is doing it for my own good so that I can treat myself better and accept myself.

The only one whom nature has endowed with a sensual form of life is the man. This is both a gift and a curse at the same time: human fears are a dark side of our sensuality. Referring to the works of British classics, a general list of human fears known today can be made. The monsters of each of the characters live not only on the pages of novels but in each of us, so everyone can turn to the heroes for help. Looking at them, the reader learns how to fight their demons, keep them at bay, or, in my case, become friends with them.

Fan, Mengyuan. “A Study on The Traumatic Theme in Elizabeth Bowen’s “The Demon Lover”. Journal of Contemporary Educational Research , vol. 5, no. 4, 2021, pp. 103-105.

Mittman, Asa Simon, and Marcus Hensel, editors. Primary Sources on Monsters . Amsterdam University Press, 2018.

Rizzardi, Biancamaria. “Once Upon a Time” By Nadine Gordimer: A Fairy Tale for Peace.” Forum Editrice Universitaria Udinese , vol. 5, no. 19, 2019, pp. 782-801. Web.

• Happiness Areas and Goals in Personal Life
• Painfulness and Happiness of Childbirth
• One-Dimensional Monster: Persuasive Post About Grendel
• Beowulf, the Hero of the Epic Poem
• The Poem "Beowulf": Character Analysis
• How Optimism Improves Immunity
• Concepts of Optimism and Hope
• Adolescence and Emotion Relations
• The Unique Feeling of “Home”
• Experiencing Joy and Sadness at the Same Time
• Chicago (A-D)
• Chicago (N-B)

IvyPanda. (2022, December 1). My Monster: The Fear of Being Alone. https://ivypanda.com/essays/my-monster-the-fear-of-being-alone/

"My Monster: The Fear of Being Alone." IvyPanda , 1 Dec. 2022, ivypanda.com/essays/my-monster-the-fear-of-being-alone/.

IvyPanda . (2022) 'My Monster: The Fear of Being Alone'. 1 December.

IvyPanda . 2022. "My Monster: The Fear of Being Alone." December 1, 2022. https://ivypanda.com/essays/my-monster-the-fear-of-being-alone/.

1. IvyPanda . "My Monster: The Fear of Being Alone." December 1, 2022. https://ivypanda.com/essays/my-monster-the-fear-of-being-alone/.

Bibliography

IvyPanda . "My Monster: The Fear of Being Alone." December 1, 2022. https://ivypanda.com/essays/my-monster-the-fear-of-being-alone/.

IvyPanda uses cookies and similar technologies to enhance your experience, enabling functionalities such as:

• Basic site functions
• Ensuring secure, safe transactions
• Secure account login
• Remembering account, browser, and regional preferences
• Remembering privacy and security settings
• Analyzing site traffic and usage
• Personalized search, content, and recommendations
• Displaying relevant, targeted ads on and off IvyPanda

Please refer to IvyPanda's Cookies Policy and Privacy Policy for detailed information.

Certain technologies we use are essential for critical functions such as security and site integrity, account authentication, security and privacy preferences, internal site usage and maintenance data, and ensuring the site operates correctly for browsing and transactions.

Cookies and similar technologies are used to enhance your experience by:

• Remembering general and regional preferences
• Personalizing content, search, recommendations, and offers

Some functions, such as personalized recommendations, account preferences, or localization, may not work correctly without these technologies. For more details, please refer to IvyPanda's Cookies Policy .

To enable personalized advertising (such as interest-based ads), we may share your data with our marketing and advertising partners using cookies and other technologies. These partners may have their own information collected about you. Turning off the personalized advertising setting won't stop you from seeing IvyPanda ads, but it may make the ads you see less relevant or more repetitive.

Personalized advertising may be considered a "sale" or "sharing" of the information under California and other state privacy laws, and you may have the right to opt out. Turning off personalized advertising allows you to exercise your right to opt out. Learn more in IvyPanda's Cookies Policy and Privacy Policy .

• Remember me Not recommended on shared computers

Forgot your password?

Or sign in with one of these services

• Mental Health

By Olivia Sanders

By Olivia Sanders • December 23, 2023

Why Am I Scared to Be Alone With My Thoughts?

Key Takeaways:

• Recognizing solitude's psychological impact
• Embracing alone time for mental wellness
• Strategies to mitigate solitude anxiety
• Role of past experiences in solitude fear
• Balancing solitude with social interactions

Understanding the Fear of Solitude

The fear of being alone with one's thoughts is a common yet often unspoken phenomenon. It reflects a deep-seated discomfort that many individuals experience when they face solitude. This fear can stem from various psychological and emotional factors, including past traumas, societal expectations, and personal insecurities.

For some, the silence of being alone acts as a catalyst for introspection, which can lead to confronting uncomfortable truths or unresolved issues. The lack of distraction in solitary environments forces individuals to engage with their innermost thoughts and feelings, a prospect that can be daunting for many.

Interestingly, the fear of solitude isn't just about being physically alone; it's also about feeling disconnected or unengaged with external stimuli. This highlights a broader societal issue where constant connectivity and stimulation have become the norm, leaving little room for quiet reflection.

In exploring this fear, it's important to acknowledge the role of cultural and societal influences. Different cultures view solitude and communal living in varying lights, which can significantly impact an individual's perception of and comfort with being alone.

Childhood experiences also play a crucial role in shaping one's relationship with solitude. Those who experienced positive alone time during their formative years may view solitude as a source of peace and rejuvenation. Conversely, those with negative experiences may associate solitude with loneliness or abandonment.

The fear of solitude can also be linked to broader mental health issues. For instance, individuals with anxiety or depression may find that their symptoms intensify when they are alone, making the prospect of solitude particularly challenging.

Understanding the fear of solitude is the first step towards addressing it. By recognizing the factors that contribute to this fear, individuals can begin to work towards a healthier relationship with alone time, seeing it as an opportunity for growth and self-discovery rather than a source of anxiety.

The Psychology Behind Avoiding Alone Time

The reluctance to spend time alone can be deeply rooted in psychological factors. Humans are inherently social creatures, and the need for connection is a fundamental aspect of our existence. However, the avoidance of alone time goes beyond this natural inclination for social interaction.

One psychological aspect is the fear of negative self-reflection. Alone time often brings self-awareness to the forefront, leading to a critical evaluation of oneself. This can be uncomfortable for many, especially if it involves confronting personal flaws, past mistakes, or unfulfilled aspirations.

Another factor is the discomfort with silence or inactivity. In today's fast-paced world, constant engagement and stimulation have become the norm. This makes the quiet and stillness of solitude unfamiliar and, consequently, uncomfortable for many individuals.

Lastly, avoiding alone time can be a subconscious defense mechanism. By constantly surrounding themselves with people or immersing in activities, individuals can distract themselves from dealing with deeper emotional or psychological issues that surface in solitude.

Identifying Triggers of Solitude Fear

Understanding what specifically triggers the fear of being alone is a critical step in overcoming it. These triggers can be deeply personal and varied, often rooted in past experiences or influenced by current life situations.

One common trigger is the feeling of abandonment. This can stem from childhood experiences where being left alone was associated with neglect or lack of care. For adults, it might be linked to the end of a significant relationship or the loss of a loved one.

Another trigger is the fear of missing out (FOMO). In a world where social media constantly showcases the active lives of others, being alone can sometimes feel like one is missing out on social experiences and interactions.

Mental health issues, such as anxiety or depression, can also act as triggers. Solitude can amplify negative thoughts and feelings, making alone time seem daunting and unwelcome.

Personal insecurities play a significant role as well. When alone, individuals might confront feelings of inadequacy or self-doubt that they can otherwise ignore in social settings or busy routines.

External stressors, like work pressure or family responsibilities, can also trigger a fear of solitude. In these cases, being alone can be seen as a luxury that evokes guilt or anxiety about unattended tasks or obligations.

Lastly, a lack of familiarity with being alone can be a trigger. People who are constantly surrounded by others may find the prospect of solitude strange and intimidating simply because they are not used to it.

Identifying these triggers is a vital step towards managing the fear of solitude. It allows individuals to understand their reactions better and develop coping strategies tailored to their specific needs and experiences.

The Role of Past Experiences in Solitude Anxiety

Past experiences significantly influence one's current relationship with solitude. These experiences, especially during childhood and adolescence, can shape how one perceives and interacts with the concept of being alone.

Positive experiences with solitude, such as peaceful alone time during childhood or the ability to enjoy hobbies in solitude, can lead to a healthy appreciation for alone time in adulthood. These experiences teach the value of self-reliance and the joy of self-discovery.

Negative experiences, on the other hand, can leave a lasting impact. Childhood neglect, for instance, where alone time was associated with abandonment or fear, can lead to a deep-rooted anxiety around being alone.

Traumatic events experienced in solitude, such as accidents or severe illnesses, can also create a lasting association between being alone and feeling vulnerable or unsafe.

Furthermore, social conditioning plays a role. If a person grew up in an environment where solitude was frowned upon or seen as abnormal, they might carry these perceptions into adulthood, viewing alone time as something to be avoided.

The Impact of Social Media on Our Alone Time

Social media has revolutionized the way we interact with the world, but it has also significantly impacted our ability to be truly alone. The constant connectivity offered by social platforms can encroach upon moments of solitude, altering our perception of alone time.

The influx of notifications, messages, and updates creates a sense of being perpetually connected, even in moments of physical solitude. This digital intrusion can prevent individuals from experiencing the full benefits of true solitude, where disconnection from external stimuli is key.

Moreover, social media can amplify feelings of loneliness and inadequacy during alone time. The curated images of others' lives can lead to unfavorable comparisons and a sense of missing out, which can be particularly pronounced when one is alone.

There's also the paradox of 'alone together,' where individuals are physically alone but engaged in social media interactions. This phenomenon blurs the line between solitude and socialization, often leading to a superficial experience of both.

For some, the habit of checking social media has become almost reflexive, filling every spare moment. This habit can significantly reduce the quality and quantity of time spent in self-reflection or relaxation during alone time.

Understanding the impact of social media on our alone time is crucial for developing a healthier relationship with both. It requires conscious effort to set boundaries and reclaim moments of true solitude away from the digital world.

Strategies to Embrace Solitude

Embracing solitude and learning to enjoy one's own company is a skill that can be developed over time. The following strategies can help individuals become more comfortable with being alone and reap the benefits of solitude.

Firstly, setting aside specific times for solitude can be helpful. This could involve short periods of quiet reflection, a walk alone, or dedicating time to a solo hobby. The key is to make these moments a regular part of one's routine.

Engaging in mindfulness or meditation practices can also enhance the experience of solitude. These practices encourage a focus on the present moment and help in cultivating a sense of peace and contentment within oneself.

Lastly, reframing one's perspective on solitude is important. Instead of viewing alone time as something negative or to be feared, seeing it as an opportunity for self-growth and rejuvenation can make it a more positive experience.

Developing a Healthy Relationship with Solitude

Developing a healthy relationship with solitude involves changing one's mindset and habits. It's about learning to appreciate and utilize alone time in a way that contributes positively to one's mental and emotional well-being.

One of the first steps is to acknowledge the benefits of solitude. This includes understanding that alone time can enhance creativity, boost self-awareness, and provide an opportunity for relaxation and mental rest.

It's also important to gradually increase the amount of time spent alone. Starting with short intervals and slowly extending them can help ease the discomfort and build confidence in one's ability to enjoy solitude.

Engaging in activities that one genuinely enjoys while alone can also foster a more positive attitude towards solitude. Whether it's reading, gardening, or simply sitting in nature, these activities can make alone time more appealing and fulfilling.

Mindfulness and Meditation for Solitude Anxiety

Mindfulness and meditation are powerful tools for managing anxiety related to solitude. These practices help in cultivating a sense of inner peace and present-moment awareness, making alone time more comfortable and beneficial.

Starting with mindfulness, it involves paying attention to the present moment without judgment. This can be practiced during alone time by focusing on one's breath, bodily sensations, or the surrounding environment.

Meditation, particularly guided meditation, can be especially helpful for beginners. It provides a structure for the mind to follow, easing the process of settling into a calm and focused state.

Body scan meditation is another effective technique. It involves slowly focusing on different parts of the body, which can be soothing and grounding, particularly for those who feel anxious when alone.

Incorporating mindfulness and meditation into daily routines can gradually change one's response to solitude. Over time, these practices can help in reducing anxiety and increasing the ability to find joy and tranquility in being alone.

It's also beneficial to explore different forms of meditation to find what works best for each individual. This might include movement meditations, like yoga or tai chi, which combine physical activity with mindful awareness.

Reflective practices, such as journaling or art, can also be a form of meditation. They provide a way to process thoughts and feelings in solitude, fostering a deeper connection with oneself.

Ultimately, the goal of mindfulness and meditation in the context of solitude anxiety is to create a safe internal space. This space allows for self-exploration and healing, transforming the experience of being alone from one of fear to one of personal enrichment.

Reframing Negative Thoughts About Being Alone

Reframing negative thoughts about being alone is a crucial step in developing a healthier relationship with solitude. This cognitive restructuring involves challenging and changing the negative beliefs and perceptions associated with being alone.

One effective method is to identify specific negative thoughts and question their validity. For example, if the thought is "I am alone because I am unlovable," one might challenge this by considering evidence of meaningful relationships in their life.

Another strategy is to replace negative thoughts with more positive or neutral ones. Instead of thinking, "Being alone is boring," one could reframe it to "I can use this time to explore my interests."

Practicing gratitude can also shift one's perspective on solitude. Focusing on the aspects of alone time that can be appreciated, such as the quiet or the freedom to do as one pleases, can change the overall experience of being alone.

It's also helpful to visualize positive outcomes of spending time alone. Imagining oneself feeling relaxed, rejuvenated, or accomplished after a period of solitude can create a more positive association with the experience.

Journaling can be a useful tool in this process. Writing down negative thoughts and actively reframing them on paper can provide clarity and reinforce positive thinking patterns.

Finally, patience and self-compassion are key. Changing deep-seated thought patterns takes time, and it's important to be kind to oneself throughout the process of reframing thoughts about solitude.

Creating a Safe and Comfortable Alone Space

Creating a physical space that feels safe and comfortable can significantly enhance the experience of solitude. This space should be a sanctuary where one can relax, reflect, and engage in enjoyable activities without interruption.

The first step is to choose a space that feels right. This could be a particular room in the house, a cozy corner, or even an outdoor space. The important aspect is that it feels personal and conducive to relaxation.

Personalizing the space to reflect one's tastes and needs is also crucial. This might involve adding comfortable seating, soothing colors, and personal items that bring joy or comfort, like photos, books, or plants.

Incorporating elements that engage the senses can also make the space more inviting. Soft lighting, pleasant scents, or calming background music can all contribute to a peaceful atmosphere.

Lastly, establishing this space as a tech-free zone, or at least limiting the presence of digital devices, can help in minimizing distractions and enhancing the quality of alone time.

The Importance of Balancing Alone Time with Social Interaction

Balancing alone time with social interaction is key to maintaining mental and emotional health. While solitude is important for self-reflection and rest, social interaction plays a crucial role in our overall well-being.

Social interactions provide opportunities for emotional support, shared experiences, and learning from others. They also help in developing and maintaining a sense of belonging and connectedness, which are fundamental human needs.

Alone time, when balanced with social interaction, can enhance the quality of relationships. It allows individuals to bring a more refreshed and authentic self to their interactions with others.

However, too much solitude, especially when not by choice, can lead to feelings of loneliness and isolation. It's important to recognize the difference between beneficial solitude and detrimental isolation.

Similarly, excessive social interaction without adequate alone time can lead to burnout and a loss of personal identity. It's crucial to find a balance that allows for both meaningful interaction with others and personal time for self-care and growth.

Setting boundaries is an essential part of finding this balance. It involves recognizing and communicating one's needs for both social time and solitude to others.

Finally, it's about being flexible and responsive to one's changing needs. The balance between solitude and social interaction may shift at different times, depending on various life circumstances and emotional states.

When to Seek Professional Help

While it's normal to experience some level of discomfort with being alone, there are times when professional help may be necessary. Recognizing these signs is important for timely and effective support.

If the fear of being alone leads to significant distress or anxiety that interferes with daily life, it may be time to seek professional help. This could manifest as an inability to be alone at all or extreme avoidance behaviors.

Professional help is also advisable if solitude triggers deep feelings of depression or anxiety, or if it leads to harmful coping mechanisms like substance abuse.

Therapists can provide valuable support and guidance in understanding and managing fears related to solitude. They can offer strategies to cope with anxiety, reframe negative thoughts, and develop a healthier relationship with alone time.

FAQ: Common Questions About Solitude Fear

Q: Is it normal to fear being alone? A: Yes, it's quite common to have some level of fear or discomfort about being alone. It often stems from natural human instincts for social connection and safety in numbers.

Q: What causes a fear of solitude? A: Several factors can contribute to a fear of solitude, including past experiences, mental health issues, societal influences, and personal insecurities.

Q: Can solitude fear be overcome? A: Absolutely. With the right strategies, such as mindfulness, therapy, and gradual exposure to solitude, it's possible to overcome this fear.

Q: How can I start enjoying alone time? A: Begin with short periods of solitude, engage in activities you enjoy, and gradually increase your comfort level. Reframing your thoughts about being alone can also help.

Q: Does social media worsen solitude fear? A: It can. The constant connectivity and comparison with others' lives on social media can make alone time feel less enjoyable and more isolating.

Q: Should I seek professional help for my fear of being alone? A: If your fear significantly impacts your daily life or causes severe anxiety or depression, seeking professional help is advisable.

Q: Can being alone be beneficial? A: Yes, alone time can be incredibly beneficial for self-reflection, creativity, and mental rest. It's about finding the right balance that works for you.

Conclusion: Embracing the Journey Towards Comfortable Solitude

Embracing the journey towards comfortable solitude is a personal and rewarding process. It involves understanding your fears, challenging negative beliefs, and gradually building a positive relationship with being alone.

Remember, the goal isn't to become a solitary person but to find a healthy balance between solitude and social interaction. This balance is key to personal growth and emotional well-being.

Every step taken towards embracing solitude is a step towards self-discovery and personal empowerment. It's about learning to enjoy your own company and finding peace within yourself.

The journey towards comfortable solitude is not just about being alone; it's about becoming more in tune with who you are and what you need for a fulfilling life.

Recommended Resources

• Thinking, Fast and Slow by Daniel Kahneman, Farrar, Straus and Giroux, 2011
• The Noonday Demon: An Atlas of Depression by Andrew Solomon, Scribner, 2001
• Wherever You Go, There You Are: Mindfulness Meditation in Everyday Life by Jon Kabat-Zinn, Hyperion Books, 1994
• The Wisdom of Insecurity: A Message for an Age of Anxiety by Alan W. Watts, Vintage Books, 1951
• self-reflection
• mental health
• mindfulness

User Feedback

Recommended comments.

There are no comments to display.

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Already have an account? Sign in here.

• Notice: Some articles on enotalone.com are a collaboration between our human editors and generative AI. We prioritize accuracy and authenticity in our content.

Related Articles

15 surprising signs you might be a sapiophile (curiosity guaranteed).

By Steven Robinson , in Mental Health , Yesterday at 05:27 PM

9 Powerful Signs of a Guilty Man (You Need to Know)

By Steven Robinson , in Mental Health , September 8

Why It Hurts And How to Get Over Someone Who Hurt You

By Natalie Garcia , in Mental Health , September 7

The Truth Behind Intimidating Men (Uncovering Their Power)

By Olivia Sanders , in Mental Health , September 7

Stop Falling for These Guilt-Tripping Phrases (Here's Why They Hurt)

By Liz Fischer , in Mental Health , September 6

15 Powerful Phrases to Comfort Someone (and Boost Their Spirits)

By Natalie Garcia , in Mental Health , September 6

How to Handle a Victim Mentality (Without Losing Yourself)

By Gustavo Richards , in Mental Health , September 4

10 Signs of Subtle Arrogance (And How It's Ruining You)

By Liz Fischer , in Mental Health , September 3

Unveiling the Struggles [Inside Self-Love Deficit Disorder]

By Olivia Sanders , in Mental Health , September 2

How to Know When a Chapter is Truly Closed (And What Comes Next)

By Gustavo Richards , in Mental Health , September 2

10 Alarming Signs of Lack of Empathy (You Can't Ignore)

By Gustavo Richards , in Mental Health , August 27

The Extraordinary Traits of a Super Empath (You Won't Believe #7)

By Olivia Sanders , in Mental Health , August 27

What should I do about my friend?

By Tinydance , October 23, 2023 in Friendship and Friends

• war conflict

Tagged with:

• Sunday at 02:33 PM

How do you deal with apply to university when grades are bad?

By AnxiousCat , August 30 in Suicide & Self-Harm

• mentalhealth
• mentalhealthstruggle
• universityhunt
• September 4

Should I just apply to university now where I am or wait to apply abroad?

By AnxiousCat , August 30 in Career, Money and Education

Graduating without my family

By Sarina Sarina , May 11 in Emotions and Feelings

My jealousy and romantic trauma makes me so embarrassed of myself and I struggle

By Holssi , April 27 in Relationship Advice

• Existing user? Sign In
• Online Users
• Leaderboard
• All Activity
• Relationships
• Abuse & Violence
• Age Gap Relationships
• Breaking Up
• Friendship and Friends
• Gaslighting
• Long-Distance Relationships
• Career & Money
• Alternative Medicine
• Beauty & Fashion
• Exercise and Fitness
• Food and Nutrition
• Supplements and Vitamins
• Weight Loss & Diet
• Forgiveness
• Grief Loss & Bereavement
• Personality
• Self-Esteem
• Personal Growth
• Home and Living
• Religion and Spirituality
• Create New...

• Type 2 Diabetes
• Heart Disease
• Digestive Health
• Multiple Sclerosis
• Diet & Nutrition
• Health Insurance
• Public Health
• Patient Rights
• Caregivers & Loved Ones
• End of Life Concerns
• Health News
• Thyroid Test Analyzer
• Doctor Discussion Guides
• Hemoglobin A1c Test Analyzer
• Lipid Test Analyzer
• Complete Blood Count (CBC) Analyzer
• What to Buy
• Editorial Process
• Meet Our Medical Expert Board

Coping With Monophobia, the Fear of Being Alone

Related conditions.

Monophobia is the irrational fear of being alone. It is also sometimes known as autophobia , eremophobia , or isolophobia . Monophobia occurs when a person is so afraid of being alone or abandoned that it causes extreme anxiety that far outweighs the actual threat or experience. The fear is so intense that it impacts daily functioning.

This article discusses monophobia, as well as its symptoms, causes, diagnosis, and treatment.

Defining the Fear of Being Alone

Some mental healthcare professionals may consider monophobia a situational phobia, which is a type of specific phobia (an intense, unreasonable fear of an object or situation that poses little real danger).

However, the fears associated with monophobia are generally more complex and often stem from other psychiatric conditions such as anxiety, mood disorders, or personality disorders.

Situational phobias occur under conditions that are generally not threatening or concerning to most people. When people with monophobia are faced with the idea of isolation, they'll likely experience symptoms of severe anxiety . This response is out of proportion to the risk or danger actually posed by the situation.

Having monophobia doesn't just mean having a fear of being physically alone; it's also feeling as though you're unloved or being ignored. It can also mean having a fear of being separated from a particular person.

Like most phobias, the fear of being alone has both mental and physical signs. People with monophobia will experience symptoms when alone or faced with the idea of being alone.

Symptoms of a fear of being alone include:

• Morbid fear and anxiety when you are physically alone or perceiving that you are alone
• Intense apprehension and anxiety just thinking about being isolated or secluded
• Intense anxiety that is out of proportion to the actual danger of being alone
• Experiencing feelings of impending disaster or doom when you are left alone
• Going to extreme lengths to avoid being alone
• Feeling isolated and alone even while physically in crowds or with groups of people
• Nausea or abdominal discomfort
• Difficulty sleeping
• Panic attacks

Phobias trigger a person's stress response, also known as the fight-or-flight response. There are several reasons this stress response becomes triggered by a fear of being alone, including:

• Genetics : The genes people inherit are known to play a role in phobias and other anxiety disorders.
• Observed learning experience : A person might have learned to fear being alone if a parent or sibling feared the same thing.
• Direct learning experience : A history of trauma or a traumatic experience such as being left or abandoned, or the loss of a parent or caregiver, can contribute to a fear of being alone.
• Informational learning experience : Hearing about a situation on the news or watching a movie in which a person was alone and something traumatic happened can lead someone to develop a fear of being alone.

To obtain a diagnosis of monophobia, a mental health professional or healthcare provider will refer to the fifth edition of the " Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders " (DSM-5), the American Psychiatric Association's official handbook.

The manual uses the following diagnostic criteria to diagnose specific phobias:

• The fear is persistent and lasts for longer than six months.
• The fear is actively avoided and almost always causes immediate anxiety.
• The fear is out of proportion to the actual danger of the object or situation.
• The fear causes significant disruption to essential areas of function, including social and occupational functioning.

Mental health conditions besides monophobia can also lead to a fear of being alone. A mental health professional or healthcare provider can ask detailed questions about lifestyle and fears to rule them out. Similar conditions include:

• Agoraphobia : The fear of being alone is one way this phobia shows up. People with agoraphobia have a more general fear of places and situations they think they can't escape or get help with. Being alone may be scary to people with agoraphobia if they feel left without help, but they may also feel scared in crowds or on bridges and other public spaces.
• Generalized anxiety disorder (GAD) : People with GAD experience frequent and long-term anxiety or dread. They may constantly worry about things like everyday activities, finances, loved ones' well-being—and being alone. GAD is different from regular stress because the worry is excessive and shows up over months and years so frequently that it interferes with daily life.
• Separation anxiety : Although children are more often known to be anxious about being away from home or their loved ones, adults can feel separation anxiety as well. If you fear being alone because someone close to you is away, separation anxiety may be a cause.
• Codependency : People with this condition feel their happiness and self-worth depend on taking care of others. Their behavior reflects this sense, as they typically take on a caregiving role in relationships. It may be difficult then for people with codependency to spend time alone.

The goal of treating monophobia is to reduce symptoms associated with the fear. This can help you get to a place where you feel comfortable being by yourself.

Primarily, treatment involves different types of therapy. Although medication is available to control symptoms, it's not always necessary.

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)

Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) is a type of talk therapy that helps people explore how they think and behave. It can help you better recognize and change distorted and maladaptive (negative) thoughts and behaviors. It may also change how you ultimately feel.

CBT is considered a first-line treatment for anxiety disorders and may be helpful for phobias because it allows a person to examine their feelings and actions in response to their automatic thoughts.

Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR)

Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing, or EMDR, is a trauma-based treatment. It was designed to help people with trauma and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) overcome the emotional distress of their traumatic memories. A 2019 meta-analysis found that EMDR therapy demonstrated a positive effect on both panic and phobia symptoms.

Virtual Reality Exposure Therapy (VRE)

Exposure therapy, which involves exposing a person with phobias to the object they fear while in the care of a mental health professional, has been the primary therapeutic treatment for phobias for years.

Virtual reality offers a new realm for exposure therapy. Research shows that people with phobias who participated in individualized virtual reality exposure therapy have experienced a decrease in symptoms.

Selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs) and selective serotonin-norepinephrine reuptake inhibitors (SNRIs) are effective treatments for certain anxiety disorders. Although not generally first-line in the treatment of specific phobias, they may help with some of the symptoms associated with monophobia. These medications include:

• SSRIs : Lexapro (escitalopram), Paxil (paroxetine), Prozac (fluoxetine), and Zoloft (sertraline)
• SNRIs : Effexor (venlafaxine) and Cymbalta (duloxetine)

Coping With Fear

There are some ways to cope with phobias that you can try at home. These include:

• Journaling : It may help to record thoughts, fears, and apprehensions around being alone and isolated to help better understand the fear and anxiety.
• Relaxation techniques : Learning to relax the nervous system can also help. Techniques helpful in reducing stress and tension stored in the body include deep breathing exercises (gentle, concentrated breathing), progressive muscle relaxation (tensing muscles as you breathe in and releasing them as you exhale), and visualization (using mental imagery to produce a relaxed mindset). Some free phone apps and videos online can help with guided meditations, tips, and techniques.
• Mindful meditation : Mindful meditation is about focusing on the present moment and allowing intrusive and anxious thoughts to pass, observing them without judging.
• Yoga : Yoga offers not just movements and exercises but ways of breathing that can also reduce anxiety and stress in the nervous system. You may look for free online videos or local classes.

Help Is Available

When a fear is so debilitating that it's restricting or impacting your quality of life, it may be time to seek help. Contact the  Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) National Helpline  online or call  1-800-662-4357  for more information on how to find support and treatment options in your area.

Monophobia, the fear of being alone, can be thought of as a type of situational phobia. Symptoms of monophobia vary based on the severity of the condition but can include anxiety, avoidance, difficulty maintaining relationships, or physical symptoms like nausea and trembling when faced with being alone or the notion of being alone. Treatment for monophobia includes different types of therapy and, if necessary, medication.

Barber C. Loneliness and mental health .  British Journal of Mental Health Nursing . 2018;7(5):209-214. doi:10.12968/bjmh.2018.7.5.209

University of Pennsylvania School of Medicine. Specific phobias .

National Health Service.  Overview: phobias.

American Psychiatric Association.  Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders.  5th ed. Washington D.C.; 2013. doi:10.1176/appi.books.9780890425596

MedlinePlus. Agoraphobia .

National Institute of Mental Health. Generalized anxiety disorder: when worry gets out of control .

Patel AK, Bryant B. Separation Anxiety Disorder .  JAMA.  2021;326(18):1880. doi:10.1001/jama.2021.17269

Frasca, DJ. A codependency mindset in medicine: etiology, manifestations, and ways ahead .  Fam Pract Manag.  2022;29(6):35.

Faretta E, Dal Farra M.  Efficacy of emdr therapy for anxiety disorders.   J EMDR Prac Res . 2019;13(4):325-332. doi:10.1891/1933-3196.13.4.325

Botella C, Fernández-Álvarez J, Guillén V, García-Palacios A, Baños R. Recent progress in virtual reality exposure therapy for phobias: A systematic review . Curr Psychiatry Rep . 2017;19(7):42. doi:10.1007/s11920-017-0788-4

National Institute of Mental Health.  Social anxiety disorder .

National Health Service.  Social anxiety (social phobia) .

By Michelle C. Brooten-Brooks, LMFT Brooten-Brooks is a licensed marriage and family therapist based in Georgia. She has been covering health and medical topics as a journalist for over 20 years.

Do You Have A Legit Fear Of Being Alone? Experts Explain How To Overcome Autophobia

Tip #3 is pretty genius.

You wake up the morning after a great night spent with friends, and before you can even reminisce about how you much fun you had, you're gripped with fear. Everyone is gone, which means you're— don't say it, don't say it —alone. It doesn't matter that you were just surrounded by the people who love you, the fear of being alone has crept in, and it's here to stay.

While you definitely know what this fear feels like, you might not know much else about it. Here's the scoop: It's a legit fear, officially known as autophobia, or monophobia.

If you have autophobia, ironically, you're not alone. It's a pretty common fear, says Chloe Carmichael, PhD, a clinical psychologist in Manhattan. "It's also a common goal to have a partner."

But that doesn't make it any easier to understand—or overcome. "For people who are afraid of being alone, it’s a very powerful fear that has a big influence over how they live," says Jill Squyres, PhD, a clinical psychologist in Vail, Colorado.

Meet the Experts: Chloe Carmichael, PhD is a clinical psychologist in Manhattan. Jill Squyres, PhD is a clinical psychologist in Vail, Colorado. David Tzall , PsyD is a clinical psychologist in New York City.

And while you can't snap your fingers and make your fear disappear (I wish), you can learn everything about it, so that the next time it happens, you're ready to take it on.

Is your fear of being alone normal?

Short answer: yes.

A certain level of fear is good for you because it’s "an evolutionary response that helps you survive," says Carmichael. "From an evolutionary psychology standpoint, human beings are tribal animals."

In fact, "people who felt nervous or afraid when they were alone quickly rejoined their tribe or clan, so they wouldn't get hurt with no one to help," adds Squyres. Consequently, these people were more likely to live to adulthood and have children . So your fear isn’t designed to scare or sadden you, but to give you the best chance of survival.

But how do you know if it's a phobia?

You know you have a serious fear of being alone when you always feel like you need another person or other people around in order to feel safe—even in a place that's supposed to be comforting, like your home. As soon as you're by yourself, you "may feel intensely lonely, bored, or anxious," says Squyres.

If this happens a few times, that's totally normal. But if you start to notice a pattern of fear, panic, or intense sadness every time you’re alone, then, she says, your discomfort is severe. And it might even cause you physical discomfort, like stomach aches, headaches, sore back or muscles, or even sleepiness, she adds.

So, yeah, it's way more than just being bummed you're single . Believe it or not, you can have this fear even when you're in a relationship (more on that later).

You may also have trouble concentrating or getting tasks done, which can affect your professional life. "Fear of being alone can hold you back from success in many professions because working alone might be required for good job performance or advancement," says Squyres.

Your fear could also hold you back from doing things you want to, just because you're flying solo. Granted, some things are no fun if you’re by yourself, like karaoke or eating out alone on Valentine’s Day (sorry, it's true).

Single or not, though, you can enjoy this sweet V-Day treat...

But "there's a difference between avoiding things that no one likes to do alone versus avoiding things that are perfectly normal to do alone—grocery shopping, getting a haircut," says Squyres.

Where does your fear come from?

There are three main causes of your fear, according to Squyres:

• It can be a sign of a phobia about being alone.
• It can be a result of a trauma in which you were harmed because you were alone and vulnerable, or you had no one to help you deal with a horrifying event.
• It can be part of a larger panic disorder or borderline personality disorder where an inability to self-soothe and fear of abandonment are additional factors at play.

How does your fear impact your relationships?

With romantic relationships, you might "find yourself compromising and going out with someone who's treated you really poorly—just because you'd rather do that than be alone," says Carmichael. That could lead you into rushing into a relationship with someone you don't even like that much (which probs explains why it doesn't last).

The same thing can happen with friendships. In fact, having a fear of being alone can actually prevent you from being fully present or being yourself. “If you fear being alone, you may just stick to friendships that don’t offer much value , and you won’t open up to [friends] for fear they might abandon you,” says David Tzall, a licensed clinical psychologist based in New York City. “This makes you small in the friendship, and you’ll be people-pleasing in order to get people to like you—even if you may not like them very much!”

This fear can also impact familial relationships in a huge way. “If you have a fear of being alone, you may always worry that your family is going to leave you or upset you in some way,” adds Tzall. “You’ll always be on the lookout for signs that your family may abandon you or value other members of the family more than you do, which will make you clingy and depressed.” For example, you might find yourself trying to impress family members at certain gatherings, or making up stories about your professional or romantic life in order to be liked.

Most importantly, though, it messes up your relationship with yourself. You might start catastrophic thinking, which is when negative thoughts about yourself snowball in your head. "If you're alone right now, don't spin that into a fear [that you’re] always going to be alone," advises Carmichael. "Remember that—by definition—every other single person in the world has also not yet met their life partner."

How can you overcome this fear of being alone?

While this fear can be challenging and cause you to think you’ll always be this way, all is not lost. Here, experts offer some tips to help you overcome autophobia in an effective, calming way:

1. Face your fear. Ignoring your fear is pretty dangerous because that's when you're "actually the most vulnerable to self-sabotaging, unhealthy behavior," like getting really clingy with someone you just started dating, explains Carmichael. Instead, she encourages you to confront your fear by answering some hard questions: Is my fear signaling that I'm really afraid I'm not good enough to attract someone? Am I afraid of choosing the wrong person? Am I afraid of getting hurt along the way?

2. Calm your nervous system. Meditation and yoga can help slow down your knee-jerk reactions to fear by teaching you to focus on your breath or to count to 10 over and over again. Once you're calmer, you're better able to respond to your fear logically, and not go into catastrophic thinking or worry you’ll be alone forever.

8 Yoga Poses For Runners, According To A Yoga Teacher

3. Practice being alone for a certain amount of time each day. Yes, it might suck, but you gotta try it! Squyres recommends starting with a small goal, like 15 minutes. Do that every day for a week, and then increase the goal to 30 minutes. Keep gradually increasing the amount of time each week. Proving to yourself that you can be alone should help you overcome your fear.

4. Examine your belief system. “Often times, we worry about being alone because we think we’re not good enough for people or that everyone can’t be trusted, because once upon a time someone hurt us, and we’re still holding onto that,” says Tzall. “It helps to journal these beliefs and fight them with logic, in order to realize your fears are irrational.”

5. Soak in self-love. Yes, it sounds like a total cliché, but self-love really can help you feel more comfortable being alone. “When you do things you enjoy and take care of yourself , you automatically enjoy your [own] company more,” adds Tzall. This will also help you recognize what you deserve, so that you don’t stay in situations that are no longer good for you or people-please due to a fear of abandonment.

When should you seek therapy for autophobia?

If your fear is more severe (a.k.a. it does impact your personal and professional life), psychotherapy can help you learn to overcome it, says Squyres. "A good therapist can teach relaxation and breathing techniques to master fear, anxiety, panic, and emotional arousal," she explains. Cognitive behavior therapy, in particular, can help you examine and counter the negative messages you tell yourself about loneliness so you stop thinking of it as something scary or dangerous. You may even consider seeing a psychiatrist who can tell you whether or not antidepressant or anti-anxiety medication might help manage your fear.

“I would also encourage people to seek therapy if they see they’re always having the same relationship patterns, just with different people,” adds Tzall. “A good therapist can catch these cycles as they happen, and help give the client the correct tools to break it.”

"Learning to feel comfortable by yourself is an important part of emotional well-being," notes Squyres. "Ultimately, we all need to learn that our true sense of safety comes from within ourselves."

Lindsay Geller is the Lifestyle Director at Women’s Health , where she oversees the Life, Sex & Love, and Relationships sections on WomensHealthMag.com and the Mind section of Women's Health magazine. When she's not writing or editing articles about the latest dating trends and pop culture phenomenons, she's usually watching reality TV or playing with her dog, Lucille (Go Fetch That) Ball.

Nikhita Mahtani is an NYC-based freelance writer with six years of experience specializing in design and wellness. She primarily writes home tours, service pieces, SEO stories, and features, offering readers practical tips to personalize current trends. Nikhita holds a master's degree in magazine journalism from New York University, and her work has appeared in publications such as Veranda , SELF , Allure , ELLE Decor , Domino , and Dwell.

Relationships

Zoë Kravitz And Channing Tatum's Body Language

What's Driving Dating App Fatigue In 2024

The Top Signs You're In A Toxic Friendship

All The Signs Of A Healthy Relationship, Explained

What Is The Birth Order Dating Theory?

There Are Pros & Cons To Being In A Situationship

Ben Affleck And J.Lo's Divorce Body Language

The 6 Emotional Stages Of Divorce, Explained

Can A Mono-Poly Relationship Ever Work?

Margot Robbie And Tom Ackerley's Body Language

How To Handle The Five Stages Of A Relationship

All About Sydney McLaughlin-Levrone's Husband

philosophical society.com

An Existential View Of Loneliness

By Tim Ruggiero

From an essay by Michele Carter, "Abiding Loneliness: An Existential Perspective," published by the Park Ridge Center for Health, Faith, and Ethics in Illinois.

"Many writers in the Western tradition portray...[the] existential form of loneliness as an unavoidable condition of our humanity. It resides in the innermost being of the self, expanding as each individual becomes aware of and confronts the ultimate experiences of life: change, upheaval, tragedy, joy, the passage of time, and death. Loneliness in this sense is not the same as suffering the loss of a loved one, or a perceived lack of a sense of wholeness or integrity. Further, it is not the unhealthy psychological defense against the threat of being alone, especially if being alone means we must confront the critical questions of life and death. Rather, existential loneliness is a way of being in the world, a way of grasping for and confronting one's own subjective truth. It is the experience of discovering one's own questions regarding human existence, and of confronting the sheer contingencies of the human condition. From an existential perspective, the lonely individual seeks to grasp some meaning in the face of life's impermanence, the angoisse of human freedom, and the inevitability of death. In his beautiful and tragic essay 'God's Lonely Man,' novelist Thomas Wolfe connects the intense loneliness of his own life to this universal aspect of humanity. He writes:

"For Wolfe, the experience of loneliness is neither strange nor curious, but 'inevitable and right' because it is part of the human heart. Just as the experience of joy is heightened by sorrow, loneliness, 'haunted always with the certainty of death,' makes life precious. Loneliness and death are thus inescapable facets of human existence, each ontologically necessary for a coherent human life.

"Loneliness is not the experience of what one lacks, but rather the experience of what one is. In a culture deeply entrenched in the rhetoric of autonomy and rights, the song of God's lonely man so often goes unvoiced and unheeded. It is ironic how much of our freedom we expend on power -- on conquering death, disease, and decay, all the while concealing from each other our carefully buried loneliness, which if shared, would deepen our understanding of each other."

Paul Tillich, in The Courage To Be , devotes many chapters to the issue of aloneness and existential anxiety. He offers this passage from one of Nietzsche's works:

Tillich writes, "These words reveal the other side of Nietzsche, that in him which makes him an Existentialist, the courage to look into the abyss of nonbeing in the complete loneliness of him who accepts the message that 'God is dead.'"

Loneliness, on this view, is an experience to be welcomed rather than banished, for it brings us face to face with two of life's most important questions: What is life really all about, and how should I use my freedom to define myself? The line about God "being dead" is another way of saying that all the pressure and responsibility for leading a meaningful life lie squarely on our shoulders. We, not God, decide what we become. We and we alone are the authors and governors of our moral life. This is what the existentialists mean when they say that existence precedes essence; it is this realization, too, that is the most frightening of all.

Loneliness brings us to the abyss Nietzsche describes, and forces us to make a decision. The temptation to eradicate unpleasant subjectivity is irresistible for perhaps most people, and they seek out any experience that will enable them to forget about it. There is always the sense of belonging that membership in a group can provide. There is an existential safety in living a "relevant" life, being connected to the power center of one's society, having a respectable job, a family, a few material comforts. This path is not in and of itself false: that would depend on the person. Many find meaning and fulfillment in just such a life. But that path may also be chosen as a result of seeing one's own freedom and individuality as a threat: some would rather turn away from a life that holds out the hope of affirmation and creativity than endure the existential insecurity that it requires.

There are those individuals, however, who peer into the abyss and do not cower. We think of Gautama who gave up an opulent life and family in his late twenties to travel the world alone in search of meaning. Or Thoreau who retreated to the woods for a few years so that he might gain a decent perspective upon the world. Or to any number of fictional characters: for instance, Lester Burnham in the movie American Beauty, who comes to grips with the fact that he has spent his adult life in an emotional and moral coma, and who chases what bits of meaning and beauty are still available to him in acts of rebelliousness. Or, still yet, to Christopher Reeve, who knew that the odds of returning to a normal and happy life were slim to nil, but who resolved to turn an awful tragedy into a quest to ferret out scientific solutions to such debilitating diseases as Alzheimer's and Parkinson's.

So loneliness, on this reading, isn't something to be shunned or afraid of: it is, rather, a possible catalyst for a more purposeful and engaging life, and an avenue for heightened self-awareness.

Further Reading

"Philosophy And Depression"

• Bipolar Disorder
• Therapy Center
• When To See a Therapist
• Types of Therapy
• Best Online Therapy
• Best Couples Therapy
• Managing Stress
• Sleep and Dreaming
• Understanding Emotions
• Self-Improvement
• Healthy Relationships
• Student Resources
• Personality Types
• Sweepstakes
• Guided Meditations
• Verywell Mind Insights
• 2024 Verywell Mind 25
• Mental Health in the Classroom
• Editorial Process
• Meet Our Review Board
• Crisis Support

What Is Monophobia?

Tooga / Stone / Getty Images

Similar Conditions

Monophobia is the fear of being alone. When you have monophobia, you experience extreme anxiety when you are alone. The anxiety may be strong enough to impact your daily life and your relationships with others. Monophobia is also called autophobia. 

Learn more about monophobia, what causes it, and how it can be treated.

The word monophobia describes a severe, irrational fear of being alone. It can refer to several discrete fears which may or may not share a common cause, like the fear of:

• Being apart from a particular person
• Being home alone
• Being in public by yourself
• Feeling isolated or ignored
• Experiencing danger while alone
• Living alone

Monophobia is also known as autophobia, eremophobia, and isolophobia. Monophobia is a specific phobia, meaning it involves the fear of a certain situation. When faced with the feeling of being alone, someone with monophobia will experience extreme anxiety.

Monophobia is not the same thing as loneliness. Loneliness is when you experience sadness when you're alone or when you wish you had more social connections and friendships. Monophobia is when you feel fear or anxiety when you are alone or anticipating being alone. You do not need to be lonely to experience monophobia.

Click Play to Learn More About the Fear of Being Alone

This video has been medically reviewed by Sabrina Romanoff, PsyD .

Symptoms of Monophobia

While most of us can identify someone in our support system who we will miss if they are away, the distress that people with monophobia experience is much more serious and disruptive. Symptoms of monophobia can vary, but may include:

• Dizziness, fainting, or nausea while alone
• Experiencing intense anxiety that's out of proportion with their situation
• Feeling apprehensive when thinking about being alone
• Feeling secluded or ignored even while in a group or crowd of people
• Going to great lengths to avoid being isolated
• Increased heartbeat, tightness in the chest, and trouble breathing while alone
• Panic attacks
• Problems functioning in other aspects of their lives, including their ability to maintain healthy relationships
• The belief that something catastrophic will happen if they are left alone

Monophobia can cause significant problems and distress. If you or a loved one are struggling with monophobia, contact the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) National Helpline at 1-800-662-4357 for information on support and treatment facilities in your area.

For more mental health resources, see our National Helpline Database .

What Causes Monophobia?

It's not clear what causes conditions like monophobia. It may have developed due to a traumatic experience you had while left alone, or you may have learned the behavior from a family member or close friend.

It's also possible that childhood adversity could play a role in monophobia. Children may develop a fear of being alone after experiencing things like:

• Death of a parent
• Domestic violence
• Economic problems within the family
• Extended separation from a parent
• Parental substance misuse or mental illness
• Serious illness of a family member

Feelings of loneliness and challenges with self-regulation may also trigger monophobia. The condition may be linked to feelings of inadequacy should an emergency situation arise, a common concern for many people who fear being alone even when in their own homes.

You may also have legitimate reasons for feeling fearful, like if you live in a neighborhood with a high crime rate. Generally, these fears should not dictate the way you live your life, beyond encouraging you to take rational safety precautions.

Press Play for Advice On Dealing With Loneliness

This episode of The Verywell Mind Podcast , featuring singer/songwriter Grace Gaustad, shares how to deal with feelings of loneliness. Click below to listen now.

Follow Now : Apple Podcasts / Spotify / Google Podcasts / Amazon Music

Monophobia shares characteristics with several other conditions, like:

• Agoraphobia, or the fear of being unable to escape a dangerous or stressful situation
• Codependency , which can involve discomfort when away from a partner
• Generalized anxiety disorder (GAD) , which includes excessive worry over a variety of situations
• Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) , which can develop as a result of trauma
• Social anxiety disorder (SAD), which is characterized by a worry of being watched or judged while in public

In children, attachment anxiety and separation anxiety disorder may show some of the same symptoms of monophobia. Attachment anxiety can develop when a child isn't able to form a secure relationship with a caregiver. An adult with this attachment style may work very hard to maintain close relationships and may show controlling or clingy behavior.

Separation anxiety is a normal part of early childhood development. However, if a child is experiencing severe distress that persists into later childhood, it may be a sign of separation anxiety disorder. Adults can also experience separation anxiety disorder.

When to See a Doctor

If your fear of being alone is significantly interfering with your life or if you are experiencing panic attacks, it's time to make an appointment with your doctor or a mental health professional. This is especially important If you also have symptoms of depression or problems with substance use.

To diagnose monophobia, your doctor will conduct a history and physical and will make sure that another condition is not the cause of your symptoms. They will look for signs that your fear of being alone is severe enough to disrupt your everyday life. As is the case with other phobias , feeling nervous or uncomfortable isn't enough to warrant a diagnosis.

If you have monophobia, being alone (or, in some cases, imagining that you're alone) will provoke immediate fear or anxiety and lead to a pattern of avoidance. For a diagnosis, symptoms of a phobia must be present for at least six months.

How Is Monophobia Treated?

Like all phobias, the fear of being alone responds well to a variety of treatment options . People with monophobia may benefit from medication and therapy. Your treatment will likely focus on:

• Reducing the fear and anxiety you experience while you're alone
• Gradually building up your ability to be by yourself

Your doctor may prescribe medication to help control the symptoms of monophobia. This could include anti-anxiety medications , like benzodiazepines or beta-blockers, or antidepressants like selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs).

If your doctor does prescribe medication, it will likely be used together with therapy. Medication may also be used short-term as a way to reduce the anxiety you feel while undergoing therapy.

Psychotherapy

Behavioral therapy is an essential part of the treatment process for a phobia. Your doctor may recommend:

• Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) : CBT helps you learn how to notice and challenge the automatic thoughts associated with your phobia. This may help you identify moments when your anxiety is out of proportion with the actual danger of being alone.
• Desensitization : Desensitization is a process where you're exposed to situations that cause anxiety while you practice techniques to keep yourself calm. This form of therapy is meant to slowly desensitize you to the experience of being alone.

Coping With Monophobia

Feeling unable to be alone can make it hard to travel, run errands, and experience many aspects of your life. You may have significant problems maintaining friendships and romantic relationships, as others might view your anxieties as controlling or clingy behavior.

If you have monophobia, your doctor can help you come up with at-home coping strategies you can use to help alleviate your anxiety. These techniques could include:

• Deep breathing
• Progressive muscle relaxation
• Visualization

You might find that background noise helps to distract you in situations where you have to be alone. Carrying a stimulating toy can also give you something to focus on while in public to mitigate anxiety, as can carrying around a book or tablet—just be careful that this doesn't become an avoidance behavior .

You might also find comfort in making sure you have minimized the legitimate risks that may be causing your fear. That could mean making sure your home is secure or ensuring that you're not alone in a legitimately dangerous location.

You can also look to your support system for help coping with monophobia. If you're away from a particular person, talking on the phone or online may help alleviate your immediate distress. Some families even create rituals, such as eating the same meal for dinner or sending special emails at the same time each night, to honor their relationships while they're apart.

A Word From Verywell

If your fear of being alone is severe, or if it affects your daily life, the best solution is to seek professional treatment. Monophobia is a treatable condition, and getting the assistance of a mental health professional can help you address your phobia and improve your day-to-day experience.

Barber C. Loneliness and mental health . Br J Ment Health Nurs . 2018;7(5):209-214. doi:10.12968/bjmh.2018.7.5.209

Muris P. Specific phobias . In: Handbook of Childhood Psychopathology and Developmental Disabilities Treatment . Springer International Publishing; 2018:207.

Oar EL, Farrell LJ, Byrne SP, Ollendick TH. Specific phobias . In: Flessner CA, Piacentini JC, eds. Clinical Handbook of Psychological Disorders in Children and Adolescents: A Step-by-Step Treatment Manual . Guilford Publications; 2017:169-203.

Silove D, Alonso J, Bromet E, et al. Pediatric-onset and adult-onset separation anxiety disorder across countries in the World Mental Health Survey . Am J Psychiatry . 2015;172(7):647-56. doi:10.1176/appi.ajp.2015.14091185

Read DL, Clark GI, Rock AJ, Coventry WL. Adult attachment and social anxiety: The mediating role of emotion regulation strategies .  PLOS ONE . 2018;13(12):e0207514. doi:10.1371/journal.pone.0207514

Milrod B, Markowitz JC, Gerber AJ, et al. Childhood separation anxiety and the pathogenesis and treatment of adult anxiety . Am J Psychiatry . 2014;171(1):34-43. doi:10.1176/appi.ajp.2013.13060781

Thng CEW, Lim-Ashworth NSJ, Poh BZQ, Lim CG. Recent developments in the intervention of specific phobia among adults: a rapid review . F1000Res . 2020;9:F1000 Faculty Rev-195. doi:10.12688/f1000research.20082.1

By Lisa Fritscher Lisa Fritscher is a freelance writer and editor with a deep interest in phobias and other mental health topics.

• PRO Courses Guides New Tech Help Pro Expert Videos About wikiHow Pro Upgrade Sign In
• EDIT Edit this Article
• EXPLORE Tech Help Pro About Us Random Article Quizzes Request a New Article Community Dashboard This Or That Game Happiness Hub Popular Categories Arts and Entertainment Artwork Books Movies Computers and Electronics Computers Phone Skills Technology Hacks Health Men's Health Mental Health Women's Health Relationships Dating Love Relationship Issues Hobbies and Crafts Crafts Drawing Games Education & Communication Communication Skills Personal Development Studying Personal Care and Style Fashion Hair Care Personal Hygiene Youth Personal Care School Stuff Dating All Categories Arts and Entertainment Finance and Business Home and Garden Relationship Quizzes Cars & Other Vehicles Food and Entertaining Personal Care and Style Sports and Fitness Computers and Electronics Health Pets and Animals Travel Education & Communication Hobbies and Crafts Philosophy and Religion Work World Family Life Holidays and Traditions Relationships Youth
• Browse Articles
• Learn Something New
• Quizzes Hot
• Happiness Hub
• This Or That Game
• Train Your Brain
• Explore More
• Support wikiHow
• About wikiHow
• Log in / Sign up
• Psychological Health
• Emotions and Feelings

How to Overcome Autophobia (Fear of Being Alone)

Last Updated: February 9, 2024 References

This article was co-authored by Tracy Carver, PhD . Dr. Tracy Carver is an award-winning Licensed Psychologist based in Austin, Texas. Dr. Carver specializes in counseling for issues related to self-esteem, anxiety, depression, and psychedelic integration. She holds a BS in Psychology from Virginia Commonwealth University, an MA in Educational Psychology, and a Ph.D. in Counseling Psychology from The University of Texas at Austin. Dr. Carver also completed an internship in Clinical Psychology through Harvard University Medical School. She was voted one of the Best Mental Health Professionals in Austin for four years in a row by Austin Fit Magazine. Dr. Carver has been featured in Austin Monthly, Austin Woman Magazine, Life in Travis Heights, and KVUE (the Austin affiliate for ABC News). There are 12 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page. This article has been viewed 127,475 times.

Most people enjoy being alone sometimes, but others dread even short periods of time spent in solitude. Autophobia often surfaces when a person feels ignored, unloved, and unsatisfied. If being alone prompts a sense of dread and extreme isolation, you might have autophobia. Luckily, you can learn to overcome this issue with dedication, perseverance, and the right amount of support.

Assessing Your Condition

• Strong, out of proportion fear to being alone or the anticipation of being alone
• Immediate anxiety response upon being or anticipating being alone, which may take the form of a panic attack
• Personal recognition that the fear is disproportionate to the dangers of being alone
• Avoidance of being alone or solitude is endured with intense anxiety or distress
• Avoidance, anxious anticipation or distress of being alone interferes significantly with your normal routine, work (or academic) functioning, or socializing and relationships
• Distress about autophobia itself

• Thinking about the messages you give yourself while you are alone is a worthwhile project. Doing so will allow you to see over and above the more superficial reasons why you think you do not like to be alone.

• How long has this fear been with you?
• What was going on when it started?
• How has it changed since then?

• Try to be realistic about what others need from you by reflecting on their capability to provide for and take care of themselves. You can also think about others who are around to support them, or perhaps the fact that they were doing fine before you met.
• This tendency to give others the depth of love and attention that you want for yourself is problematic. This might be one way that you are robbed of the solitude needed to develop your own values and unique personality. In fact, this tendency ironically stops you from being able to direct focus outward onto others in a meaningful way. [3] X Research source

wikiHow Quiz: Do I Have Abandonment Issues?

Does anyone in your life (a partner, family, or friend) make you doubt yourself.

No. I think I’ve got a pretty great support system.

It’s happened a couple of times, but it’s definitely not a regular thing.

Yes, there has been someone who made me doubt myself.

Yes, I have close ties with people who criticize me and compare me to others.

Facing the Fear

• Make exposure gradual and take into consideration how bad your fear is. This process takes time and should not be rushed. Plan to be alone for short spurts. Little by little, you will want to plan increased amounts of time alone until you don’t feel overcome with panic.
• Try making an exposure hierarchy in which you rank feared situations on a scale of 0-100 according to how afraid you anticipate being when exposed to it. [5] X Research source For example, you may rank spending an hour alone at home at 100, but going to a movie alone a 70. By ranking you can work up to overcoming gradually greater fears only once fear subsides for the less threatening fears.

• Don't become overly preoccupied with how panicked you feel and how stressed your body becomes. Because you are purposely exposing yourself to something you fear, shallow breathing, increased heart rate, and other physical symptoms of anxiety are normal.
• The longer the alone time, the greater the anxiety you will feel. But, with exposure, anxiety is expected and will dissipate with time. Gently push your limits until you are happy with how much alone time you can handle. Imagine you are going swimming--dipping your toes in the water can be exciting, but it won't adjust you to the temperature of the water.
• Another option is FearFighter, a computerized program of self-help methods that treat phobias. [7] X Trustworthy Source National Health Service (UK) Public healthcare system of the UK Go to source It is endorsed by the National Institute for Health and Care Excellence (NICE) and proven effective.

• Remember, the less often you use your crutch, the more intensive the exposure sessions will be.

• Note trends in the sessions when anxiety seems especially high or low. Do you see any other factors that affect your fear, like the weather, or who you spent time with earlier in the day?
• You can also use the journal to write encouraging thoughts, difficulties, and anything else that "comes up" related to the fear. This will help you know yourself and your underlying patterns better.

Developing Coping Skills and Support

• Explain how much you cherish the relationship, and that spending more time alone will actually nurture your ability to connect rather than sabotage it. Express gratitude for their understanding that you need to work on you first.

• What is it that you need from time alone? Everyone needs time to reflect, embrace self-understanding, and grow from within. Consider how much you learn about yourself when making decisions that don’t need to be negotiated with anyone else.
• Do you already have a passion that can only be fostered when you have time alone to express yourself, work out the kinks of what you do, and create to the best of your ability? Consider solitude a gift that you are giving yourself to get your passion going.

• Other relaxation and stress-relieving techniques will do wonders for your ability to cope. [12] X Trustworthy Source HelpGuide Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources. Go to source Getting exercise, especially cardiovascular activities, like running and swimming will release endorphins and other chemicals that boost mood.
• Meditation , yoga, and intentional breathing are more relaxed ways to reduce anxiety and help control impulses to act out of neediness.

• Group support can also help autophobia. [16] X Research source Meeting with others who share similar struggles can be an important source of solace and support. Knowing that you are not alone in not wanting to be alone is eye-opening and provides opportunities to share practical advice.

Quiz Pack: We’ve handpicked these quizzes just for you.

Expert Q&A

You Might Also Like

• ↑ http://www.theravive.com/therapedia/Specific-Phobia-DSM--5-300.29-%28ICD--10--CM-Multiple-Codes%29
• ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/romance-redux/201211/five-ways-overcome-feelings-neediness
• ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/high-octane-women/201201/6-reasons-you-should-spend-more-time-alone
• ↑ Tracy Carver, PhD. Licensed Psychologist. Expert Interview. 7 January 2021.
• ↑ https://www.psychiatrictimes.com/view/exposure-therapy-anxiety-disorders
• ↑ http://www.psychologistanywhereanytime.com/phobias_psychologist_and_psychologists/psychologist_monophobia.htm
• ↑ http://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/Phobias/Pages/Self-help.aspx
• ↑ http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/14975769
• ↑ http://www.fearof.net/fear-of-abandonment-phobia-autophobia/
• ↑ http://www.helpguide.org/articles/stress/relaxation-techniques-for-stress-relief.htm
• ↑ http://healthresearchfunding.org/overcoming-fear-sleeping-alone-phobia/
• ↑ http://www.dualdiagnosis.org/substance-abuse-among-suffering-phobias/autophobia/

About This Article

Medical Disclaimer

The content of this article is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, examination, diagnosis, or treatment. You should always contact your doctor or other qualified healthcare professional before starting, changing, or stopping any kind of health treatment.

Read More...

To overcome your fear of being alone, start by giving yourself specific goals for gradually becoming more comfortable with solitude. For example, you might decide that you will spend 15 minutes alone without calling, texting, or messaging anyone, perhaps 4 times per week. You should increase the length of your alone time at your own pace as you get more comfortable. Exposure is usually an effective method, but it can be stressful, so come up with a mind-soothing “crutch” you can use when you feel the most anxious. This might be reciting a poem, doing math in your head, or an encouraging mantra, like “this feeling will pass, I have handled it before.” As you practice your alone time, keep a log of your fear level before and after each exposure session so you can track your progress and look for trends in your anxiety. For more tips from our Mental Health co-author, like how to seek counseling for your fears, keep reading! Did this summary help you? Yes No

• Send fan mail to authors

Reader Success Stories

Marley Jones

Jun 12, 2019

Did this article help you?

Featured Articles

Trending Articles

Watch Articles

• Terms of Use
• Privacy Policy
• Do Not Sell or Share My Info
• Not Selling Info

wikiHow Tech Help Pro:

Level up your tech skills and stay ahead of the curve

• Skip to primary navigation
• Skip to main content
• Skip to primary sidebar
• Skip to footer

Psychologenie

Fear of Being Alone

To be left alone, is perhaps the greatest fear most of us live with. To understand this fear, sometimes unfounded, read through this article.

The whole thought of being left alone at night totally creeps me up. I hear sounds and see images, that, quite honestly, makes me run for cover, and the light switch too! Quite a joke my fear of being left alone is, quite a few laughs it evokes, and despite being told that most of my fears of being left alone at night, in the dark, or just left alone are baseless, I wonder where and why they stem. However, the fear of being alone is not only about being in the dark or being alone at night, it goes deeper. Where it is situational, the fear too tends to reside with time, but when it transcends certain conditions, situations or habits, it becomes a psychological disorder. The fear then turns into a phobia that can cause one and one’s family many sleepless nights and difficult days.

Isolophobia or the Fear of Being Alone

Medically, this fear is known as Isolophobia , and is mostly treated as a psychological disorder. This fear may not always be a result of some childhood trauma, one could acquire it as one gets older. According to research, an individual’s lack of confidence is generally what sets this fear, the constant need to derive moral support and be in the company of others, aggravates the situation. Some cases are so extreme that an individual refuses to use the washroom alone.

Clinical research shows that in most cases, this fear stems from the fear of abandonment , fear of being ridiculed, or a complete lack of self-confidence. Fear of being left alone is predominantly also seen in individuals who have been traumatized or abused at some time in their life. For these people, going out alone becomes an ordeal they do not want to face. So the need for company, even in public spaces which are relatively crowded is constantly felt. They seek a companion for all outings, and eventually it becomes essential for their very being.

Individuals who suffer from isolophobia also need company when they are at home, for them the very fact of being alone triggers anxiety, panic and leads to depressive mood swings. The more this fear makes home, the more these individuals avoid social scenes. Their personal life takes a setback, holding onto a job seems almost impossible, and the social scene is always bleak. Psychologists believe that this reduced self-confidence has an adverse fallout, a belief that activities can be carried out alone.

Separation anxiety also adds to the fear of being isolated and/or unwanted. Pediatricians who treat children for this disorder, have indicated that the need to have a parent or a guardian at all times, stems from the fear of being rebuked or not ‘meeting a mark, as other kids do’ syndrome. As these children grow into adults, they still cling on to their need for close companionship, and this fear ends up controlling all their personal and social relationships. Being alone in the darkness of the night is what some people are afraid of, however, it is a situational problem that requires specific treatment.

How to Overcome Isolophobia

This fear takes over your life, and therefore it requires immediate attention. In most cases, the person who has this problem may not even realize that not being alone at anytime is a problem, it generally is the family and friends that need to ascertain the fear, before seeking help. Treatment for adults and children differ, studies indicate it is far more easy to treat children than adults, as the former has an impressionable mind, and can easily be adaptive to changes. Adults being adults, find it difficult to change their belief’s. Cognitive therapy along with other therapies are brought into play to treat the fear of being alone.

Isolophobia can have a very negative impact on an individual, and a tiring one for the family. However, in most cases this problem can easily be treated with therapy, and patience.

Like it? Share it!

Get Updates Right to Your Inbox

Further insights.

Privacy Overview

Anxiety disorders

Experiencing occasional anxiety is a normal part of life. However, people with anxiety disorders frequently have intense, excessive and persistent worry and fear about everyday situations. Often, anxiety disorders involve repeated episodes of sudden feelings of intense anxiety and fear or terror that reach a peak within minutes (panic attacks).

These feelings of anxiety and panic interfere with daily activities, are difficult to control, are out of proportion to the actual danger and can last a long time. You may avoid places or situations to prevent these feelings. Symptoms may start during childhood or the teen years and continue into adulthood.

Examples of anxiety disorders include generalized anxiety disorder, social anxiety disorder (social phobia), specific phobias and separation anxiety disorder. You can have more than one anxiety disorder. Sometimes anxiety results from a medical condition that needs treatment.

Whatever form of anxiety you have, treatment can help.

Common anxiety signs and symptoms include:

• Feeling nervous, restless or tense
• Having a sense of impending danger, panic or doom
• Having an increased heart rate
• Breathing rapidly (hyperventilation)
• Feeling weak or tired
• Trouble concentrating or thinking about anything other than the present worry
• Having trouble sleeping
• Experiencing gastrointestinal (GI) problems
• Having difficulty controlling worry
• Having the urge to avoid things that trigger anxiety

Several types of anxiety disorders exist:

• Agoraphobia (ag-uh-ruh-FOE-be-uh) is a type of anxiety disorder in which you fear and often avoid places or situations that might cause you to panic and make you feel trapped, helpless or embarrassed.
• Anxiety disorder due to a medical condition includes symptoms of intense anxiety or panic that are directly caused by a physical health problem.
• Generalized anxiety disorder includes persistent and excessive anxiety and worry about activities or events — even ordinary, routine issues. The worry is out of proportion to the actual circumstance, is difficult to control and affects how you feel physically. It often occurs along with other anxiety disorders or depression.
• Panic disorder involves repeated episodes of sudden feelings of intense anxiety and fear or terror that reach a peak within minutes (panic attacks). You may have feelings of impending doom, shortness of breath, chest pain, or a rapid, fluttering or pounding heart (heart palpitations). These panic attacks may lead to worrying about them happening again or avoiding situations in which they've occurred.
• Selective mutism is a consistent failure of children to speak in certain situations, such as school, even when they can speak in other situations, such as at home with close family members. This can interfere with school, work and social functioning.
• Separation anxiety disorder is a childhood disorder characterized by anxiety that's excessive for the child's developmental level and related to separation from parents or others who have parental roles.
• Social anxiety disorder (social phobia) involves high levels of anxiety, fear and avoidance of social situations due to feelings of embarrassment, self-consciousness and concern about being judged or viewed negatively by others.
• Specific phobias are characterized by major anxiety when you're exposed to a specific object or situation and a desire to avoid it. Phobias provoke panic attacks in some people.
• Substance-induced anxiety disorder is characterized by symptoms of intense anxiety or panic that are a direct result of misusing drugs, taking medications, being exposed to a toxic substance or withdrawal from drugs.
• Other specified anxiety disorder and unspecified anxiety disorder are terms for anxiety or phobias that don't meet the exact criteria for any other anxiety disorders but are significant enough to be distressing and disruptive.

When to see a doctor

See your doctor if:

• You feel like you're worrying too much and it's interfering with your work, relationships or other parts of your life
• Your fear, worry or anxiety is upsetting to you and difficult to control
• You feel depressed, have trouble with alcohol or drug use, or have other mental health concerns along with anxiety
• You think your anxiety could be linked to a physical health problem
• You have suicidal thoughts or behaviors — if this is the case, seek emergency treatment immediately

Your worries may not go away on their own, and they may get worse over time if you don't seek help. See your doctor or a mental health provider before your anxiety gets worse. It's easier to treat if you get help early.

The causes of anxiety disorders aren't fully understood. Life experiences such as traumatic events appear to trigger anxiety disorders in people who are already prone to anxiety. Inherited traits also can be a factor.

Medical causes

For some people, anxiety may be linked to an underlying health issue. In some cases, anxiety signs and symptoms are the first indicators of a medical illness. If your doctor suspects your anxiety may have a medical cause, he or she may order tests to look for signs of a problem.

Examples of medical problems that can be linked to anxiety include:

• Heart disease
• Thyroid problems, such as hyperthyroidism
• Respiratory disorders, such as chronic obstructive pulmonary disease (COPD) and asthma
• Drug misuse or withdrawal
• Withdrawal from alcohol, anti-anxiety medications (benzodiazepines) or other medications
• Chronic pain or irritable bowel syndrome
• Rare tumors that produce certain fight-or-flight hormones

Sometimes anxiety can be a side effect of certain medications.

It's possible that your anxiety may be due to an underlying medical condition if:

• You don't have any blood relatives (such as a parent or sibling) with an anxiety disorder
• You didn't have an anxiety disorder as a child
• You don't avoid certain things or situations because of anxiety
• You have a sudden occurrence of anxiety that seems unrelated to life events and you didn't have a previous history of anxiety

Risk factors

These factors may increase your risk of developing an anxiety disorder:

• Trauma. Children who endured abuse or trauma or witnessed traumatic events are at higher risk of developing an anxiety disorder at some point in life. Adults who experience a traumatic event also can develop anxiety disorders.
• Stress due to an illness. Having a health condition or serious illness can cause significant worry about issues such as your treatment and your future.
• Stress buildup. A big event or a buildup of smaller stressful life situations may trigger excessive anxiety — for example, a death in the family, work stress or ongoing worry about finances.
• Personality. People with certain personality types are more prone to anxiety disorders than others are.
• Other mental health disorders. People with other mental health disorders, such as depression, often also have an anxiety disorder.
• Having blood relatives with an anxiety disorder. Anxiety disorders can run in families.
• Drugs or alcohol. Drug or alcohol use or misuse or withdrawal can cause or worsen anxiety.

Complications

Having an anxiety disorder does more than make you worry. It can also lead to, or worsen, other mental and physical conditions, such as:

• Depression (which often occurs with an anxiety disorder) or other mental health disorders
• Substance misuse
• Trouble sleeping (insomnia)
• Digestive or bowel problems
• Headaches and chronic pain
• Social isolation
• Problems functioning at school or work
• Poor quality of life

There's no way to predict for certain what will cause someone to develop an anxiety disorder, but you can take steps to reduce the impact of symptoms if you're anxious:

• Get help early. Anxiety, like many other mental health conditions, can be harder to treat if you wait.
• Stay active. Participate in activities that you enjoy and that make you feel good about yourself. Enjoy social interaction and caring relationships, which can lessen your worries.
• Avoid alcohol or drug use. Alcohol and drug use can cause or worsen anxiety. If you're addicted to any of these substances, quitting can make you anxious. If you can't quit on your own, see your doctor or find a support group to help you.

Mayo Clinic Footer

Legal conditions and terms.

• Terms and Conditions
• Privacy Policy
• Notice of Privacy Practices
• Notice of Nondiscrimination
• Manage Cookies

Advertising

Mayo Clinic is a nonprofit organization and proceeds from Web advertising help support our mission. Mayo Clinic does not endorse any of the third party products and services advertised.

• Advertising and sponsorship policy
• Advertising and sponsorship opportunities

Reprint Permissions

A single copy of these materials may be reprinted for noncommercial personal use only. "Mayo," "Mayo Clinic," "MayoClinic.org," "Mayo Clinic Healthy Living," and the triple-shield Mayo Clinic logo are trademarks of Mayo Foundation for Medical Education and Research.

Social Isolation

Reviewed by Psychology Today Staff

Though our need to connect is innate, many of us frequently feel alone. Loneliness is the state of distress or discomfort that results when one perceives a gap between one’s desires for social connection and actual experiences of it. Even some people who are surrounded by others throughout the day—or are in a long-lasting marriage —still experience a deep and pervasive loneliness. Research suggests that loneliness poses serious threats to well-being as well as long-term physical health.

• Identifying and Fighting Loneliness
• Loneliness, Health, and Well-Being

Whether a person lives in isolation or not, feeling a lack of social connectedness can be painful. Loneliness can be described in different ways; a commonly used measure of loneliness, the UCLA Loneliness Scale, asks individuals about a range of feelings or deficits of connection, including how often they:

feel they lack companionship

feel left out

feel “in tune” with people around them

feel outgoing and friendly

feel there are people they can turn to

Given the potential health consequences for those who feel like they have few or no supportive social connections, widespread loneliness poses a major societal challenge. But it underscores a demand for increased outreach and connection on a personal level, too.

Loneliness is as tied to the quality of one's relationships as it is to the number of connections one has. And it doesn’t only stem from heartache or isolation.  A  lack of authenticity in relationships  can result in feelings of loneliness. For some, not having a coveted animal companion, or the absence of a quiet presence in the home (even if one has plenty of social contacts in the wider world), can trigger loneliness. 

There's evidence that lonely individuals have a sort of negativity bias in evaluating social interactions. Lonely people pick up on  signs of potential rejection more quickly than do others, perhaps better to avoid it and protect themselves. People who feel lonely need to be aware of this bias so as to override it in seeking out companionship.

Solitude, or time spent alone, is not inherently negative and can even be restorative or advantageous in other ways. Research suggests the reasons young people choose to be alone matter—they may do so to relax, create, or reflect, rather than to avoid other people.

Loneliness researcher John Cacioppo argues that just as you can start an exercise regimen to gain strength and improve your health, you can combat loneliness through small moves that build emotional strength and resilience . He has devised techniques for people at particularly high risk for chronic loneliness, such as soldiers returning from Iraq and Afghanistan. They may be useful to anyone. 

A number of unfavorable outcomes have been linked to loneliness. In addition to its association with depressive symptoms and other forms of mental illness, loneliness is a risk factor for heart disease, Type 2 diabetes, and arthritis, among other diseases. Lonely people are also twice as likely to develop Alzheimer’s disease, research suggests. The state of chronic loneliness may trigger adverse physiological responses such as the increased production of stress hormones , hinder sleep, and result in weakened immunity.

While a person can’t die simply from feeling too lonely, findings that lonely people have higher rates of mortality and certain diseases supports the idea that, over time, chronic loneliness can play a role in increasing the risk of dying.

Feelings of loneliness and isolation affect people of all ages, although adolescents and the elderly  may be especially likely to be impacted.

About 40 percent of Americans reported regularly feeling lonely in 2010, and other reports affirm that it is common for people to feel lonely at least some of the time. The high rates of reported loneliness have led some to declare an “epidemic,” though it is not clear that loneliness is increasing in younger generations.

Discover how prolonged isolation impacts our lives as well as actionable strategies to foster genuine connections.

A Personal Perspective: Between living in the land of the Internet and being trapped in the world of COVID, we have become isolated from each other.

Animal-assisted therapy might seem new, but its roots go back centuries. Explore the enduring bond between humans and animals in therapeutic settings.

Loneliness is increasingly tackled as a serious public health crisis. But solutions that focus on reducing social isolation are missing the key point. It's all about feeling needed.

We're all lonelier than ever, in our workplaces as well as in our personal lives. But we may find some hope in a surprising factor that reduces both loneliness and burnout.

Designing for solitude is not about strengthening isolation but, rather, about allowing all people to coexist—introverts, extroverts, and ambiverts alike.

If you are a recent empty nester struggling to find your new identity or a new mom wanting to create balance in your life, these suggestions can help.

Feeling lonely? Harness the power of self-talk and pattern interruption. A three-word mantra can help you pivot fast.

If you're feeling lonely, using three words can help reduce your stress and build your solitude muscle.

A recent paper discusses attachment in romantic relationships, how stable it is, and how it can be changed.

• Find a Therapist
• Find a Treatment Center
• Find a Psychiatrist
• Find a Support Group
• Find Online Therapy
• United States
• Brooklyn, NY
• Chicago, IL
• Houston, TX
• Los Angeles, CA
• New York, NY
• Portland, OR
• San Diego, CA
• San Francisco, CA
• Seattle, WA
• Washington, DC
• Asperger's
• Bipolar Disorder
• Chronic Pain
• Eating Disorders
• Passive Aggression
• Personality
• Goal Setting
• Positive Psychology
• Stopping Smoking
• Low Sexual Desire
• Relationships
• Child Development
• Self Tests NEW
• Therapy Center
• Diagnosis Dictionary
• Types of Therapy

It’s increasingly common for someone to be diagnosed with a condition such as ADHD or autism as an adult. A diagnosis often brings relief, but it can also come with as many questions as answers.

• Emotional Intelligence
• Gaslighting
• Affective Forecasting
• Neuroscience