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How to Write a Non-Cliche College Essay About Sports + Examples

What’s covered:, what makes a sports essay cliche.

• How To Make Your Sports Essay Unique

Great Examples of College Essays About Sports

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You’ve been brainstorming essay topics for your college applications, and you think you’ve finally found the right one: an extended metaphor likening your experience on the field with overcoming personal struggles. The problem: many other students have this same thought. 

The purpose of a college essay is to make yourself stand out as a unique individual, but when students write about sports, they often blend in. Because of that, students are usually advised to pick a different topic.

That being said, it is possible to write a non-cliche college essay about sports if you put in a little extra effort. Read along to learn how to make your sports essay different from all the other sports essays.

Sports essays are cliche when they follow a standard trajectory. Some of these trajectories include writing a story about:

• An agonizing defeat
• Forging bonds with teammates
• Overcoming adversity
• Overcoming an injury
• Refusing to quit
• Victory during a big game

Because sports essays have very similar themes and “lessons learned,” it can be difficult to make your story stand out. These trajectories also often focus too much on the sport or storyline, and not enough on the writer’s reflections and personality.

As you write your essay, try to think about what your experience says about you rather than what you learned from your experience. You are more than just one lesson you learned!

(Keep in mind that the sports essay is not the only college essay cliche. Learn about other essay cliches and how to fix them in our complete guide).

How to Make Your Sports Essay Unique

1. focus on a specific moment or reflection..

The college essay is a way for students to humanize themselves to admissions officers. You do not feel human if you are describing yourself as just another player on the field!

One important way to make your essay about you (not just about sports) is by focusing on a specific moment in time and inviting the reader to join you in that moment. Explain to the reader what it would be like to be sitting in that locker room as you questioned the values of the other players on your team. Ask your reader to sit with you on the cot in the trainer’s room as your identity was stripped away from you when they said “your body can’t take this anymore.” Bring your reader to the dinner table and involve them in your family’s conversation about how sports were affecting your mental health and your treatment of those around you.

Intense descriptions of a specific experience will evoke emotions in your reader and allow them to connect with you and feel for you.

When in doubt, avoid anything that can be covered by ESPN. On ESPN, we see the games, we see the benches, we even see the locker rooms and training rooms. Take your reader somewhere different and show them something unique.

2. Use sports to point out broader themes in your life.

The main risk when writing about sports is neglecting to write about yourself. Before you get started, think about the main values that you want to express in your sports essay. Sports are simply your avenue for telling the reader what makes you unique. 

As a test, imagine if you were a pianist. Would you be able to talk about these same values? What if you were a writer? Or a chemist? Articulating your values is the end, and sports should simply be your means.

Some values that you might want to focus on:

• Autonomy (you want to be able to set your mind to anything and achieve it on your own)
• Growth (you seek improvement constantly)
• Curiosity (you are willing to try anything once)
• Vulnerability (you aren’t afraid to fail, as long as you give it your all)
• Community (you value the feedback of others and need camaraderie to succeed)
• Craft (you think that with deliberate care, anything can be perfected)
• Responsibility (you believe that you owe something to those around you and perhaps they also owe something to you)

You can use the ESPN check again to make sure that you are using sports as an avenue to show your depth.

Things ESPN covers: how a player reacts to defeat, how injuries affect a player’s gameplay/attitude, how players who don’t normally work well together are working together on their new team.

Things ESPN doesn’t cover: the conversation that a player had with their mother about fear of death before going into a big surgery (value: family and connection), the ways that the intense pressure to succeed consumed a player to the point they couldn’t be there for the people in their life (value: supporting others and community), the body image issues that weigh on a player’s mind when playing their sport and how they overcame those (value: health and growth).

3. Turn a cliche storyline on its head.

There’s no getting around the fact that sports essays are often cliche. But there is a way to confront the cliche head-on. For example, lots of people write essays about the lessons they learned from an injury, victory, and so on, but fewer students explain how they are embracing those lessons. 

Perhaps you learned that competition is overwhelming for you and you prefer teamwork, so you switched from playing basketball to playing Dungeons & Dragons. Maybe, when your softball career ended abruptly, you had to find a new identity and that’s when you became obsessed with your flower garden and decided to pursue botany. Or maybe, you have stuck with football through it all, but your junior-year mental health struggle showed you that football should be fun and you have since started a nonprofit for local children to healthily engage with sports.

If your story itself is more cliche, try bringing readers to the present moment with you and show why the cliche matters and what it did for you. This requires a fair amount of creativity. Ensure you’re not parroting a frequently used topic by really thinking deeply to find your own unique spin.

Night had robbed the academy of its daytime colors, yet there was comfort in the dim lights that cast shadows of our advances against the bare studio walls. Silhouettes of roundhouse kicks, spin crescent kicks, uppercuts and the occasional butterfly kick danced while we sparred. She approached me, eyes narrowed with the trace of a smirk challenging me. “Ready spar!” Her arm began an upward trajectory targeting my shoulder, a common first move. I sidestepped — only to almost collide with another flying fist. Pivoting my right foot, I snapped my left leg, aiming my heel at her midsection. The center judge raised one finger. 

There was no time to celebrate, not in the traditional sense at least. Master Pollard gave a brief command greeted with a unanimous “Yes, sir” and the thud of 20 hands dropping-down-and-giving-him-30, while the “winners” celebrated their victory with laps as usual. 

Three years ago, seven-thirty in the evening meant I was a warrior. It meant standing up straighter, pushing a little harder, “Yes, sir” and “Yes, ma’am”, celebrating birthdays by breaking boards, never pointing your toes, and familiarity. Three years later, seven-thirty in the morning meant I was nervous. 

The room is uncomfortably large. The sprung floor soaks up the checkerboard of sunlight piercing through the colonial windows. The mirrored walls further illuminate the studio and I feel the light scrutinizing my sorry attempts at a pas de bourrée, while capturing the organic fluidity of the dancers around me. “Chassé en croix, grand battement, pique, pirouette.” I follow the graceful limbs of the woman in front of me, her legs floating ribbons, as she executes what seems to be a perfect ronds de jambes. Each movement remains a negotiation. With admirable patience, Ms. Tan casts me a sympathetic glance.   

There is no time to wallow in the misery that is my right foot. Taekwondo calls for dorsiflexion; pointed toes are synonymous with broken toes. My thoughts drag me into a flashback of the usual response to this painful mistake: “You might as well grab a tutu and head to the ballet studio next door.” Well, here I am Master Pollard, unfortunately still following your orders to never point my toes, but no longer feeling the satisfaction that comes with being a third degree black belt with 5 years of experience quite literally under her belt. It’s like being a white belt again — just in a leotard and ballet slippers. 

But the appetite for new beginnings that brought me here doesn’t falter. It is only reinforced by the classical rendition of “Dancing Queen” that floods the room and the ghost of familiarity that reassures me that this new beginning does not and will not erase the past. After years spent at the top, it’s hard to start over. But surrendering what you are only leads you to what you may become. In Taekwondo, we started each class reciting the tenets: honor, courtesy, integrity, perseverance, self-control, courage, humility, and knowledge, and I have never felt that I embodied those traits more so than when I started ballet. 

The thing about change is that it eventually stops making things so different. After nine different schools, four different countries, three different continents, fluency in Tamil, Norwegian, and English, there are more blurred lines than there are clear fragments. My life has not been a tactfully executed, gold medal-worthy Taekwondo form with each movement defined, nor has it been a series of frappés performed by a prima ballerina with each extension identical and precise, but thankfully it has been like the dynamics of a spinning back kick, fluid, and like my chances of landing a pirouette, unpredictable. 

Why it works:

What’s especially powerful about this essay is that the author uses detailed imagery to convey a picture of what they’re experiencing, so much so that the reader is along for the ride. This works as a sports essay not only because of the language and sensory details, but also because the writer focuses on a specific moment in time, while at the same time exploring why Taekwondo is such an important part of their life.

After the emotional image is created, the student finishes their essay with valuable reflection. With the reflection, they show admissions officers that they are mature and self-aware. Self-awareness comes through with statements like “surrendering what you are only leads you to what you may become” and maturity can be seen through the student’s discussion of values “honor, courtesy, integrity, perseverance, self-control, courage, humility, and knowledge, and I have never felt that I embodied those traits more so than when I started ballet.” These are the kinds of comments that should find their way into a sports essay!

“Advanced females ages 13 to 14 please proceed to staging with your coaches at this time.” Skittering around the room, eyes wide and pleading, I frantically explained my situation to nearby coaches. The seconds ticked away in my head; every polite refusal increased my desperation.

Despair weighed me down. I sank to my knees as a stream of competitors, coaches, and officials flowed around me. My dojang had no coach, and the tournament rules prohibited me from competing without one.

Although I wanted to remain strong, doubts began to cloud my mind. I could not help wondering: what was the point of perfecting my skills if I would never even compete? The other members of my team, who had found coaches minutes earlier, attempted to comfort me, but I barely heard their words. They couldn’t understand my despair at being left on the outside, and I never wanted them to understand.

Since my first lesson 12 years ago, the members of my dojang have become family. I have watched them grow up, finding my own happiness in theirs. Together, we have honed our kicks, blocks, and strikes. We have pushed one another to aim higher and become better martial artists. Although my dojang had searched for a reliable coach for years, we had not found one. When we attended competitions in the past, my teammates and I had always gotten lucky and found a sympathetic coach. Now, I knew this practice was unsustainable. It would devastate me to see the other members of my dojang in my situation, unable to compete and losing hope as a result. My dojang needed a coach, and I decided it was up to me to find one. 

I first approached the adults in the dojang – both instructors and members’ parents. However, these attempts only reacquainted me with polite refusals. Everyone I asked told me they couldn’t devote multiple weekends per year to competitions. I soon realized that I would have become the coach myself.

At first, the inner workings of tournaments were a mystery to me. To prepare myself for success as a coach, I spent the next year as an official and took coaching classes on the side. I learned everything from motivational strategies to technical, behind-the-scenes components of Taekwondo competitions. Though I emerged with new knowledge and confidence in my capabilities, others did not share this faith.

Parents threw me disbelieving looks when they learned that their children’s coach was only a child herself. My self-confidence was my armor, deflecting their surly glances. Every armor is penetrable, however, and as the relentless barrage of doubts pounded my resilience, it began to wear down. I grew unsure of my own abilities.

Despite the attack, I refused to give up. When I saw the shining eyes of the youngest students preparing for their first competition, I knew I couldn’t let them down. To quit would be to set them up to be barred from competing like I was. The knowledge that I could solve my dojang’s longtime problem motivated me to overcome my apprehension.

Now that my dojang flourishes at competitions, the attacks on me have weakened, but not ended. I may never win the approval of every parent; at times, I am still tormented by doubts, but I find solace in the fact that members of my dojang now only worry about competing to the best of their abilities.

Now, as I arrive at a tournament with my students, I close my eyes and remember the past. I visualize the frantic search for a coach and the chaos amongst my teammates as we compete with one another to find coaches before the staging calls for our respective divisions. I open my eyes to the exact opposite scene. Lacking a coach hurt my ability to compete, but I am proud to know that no member of my dojang will have to face that problem again.

In the beginning, you might think this is another cliche sports essay about overcoming adversity. But instead, it becomes a unique statement and coming-of-age tale that reads as a suspenseful narrative. 

The author connects their experience with martial arts to larger themes in their life but manages to do so without riffing off of tried-and-true themes. Through statements like “I knew I couldn’t let them down. To quit would be to set them up to be barred from competing like I was” we learn about the students values and their desire to be there for those who depend on them. 

The student also brings it full circle, demonstrating their true transformation. By using the “Same, but Different” ending technique , the student places themself in the same environment that we saw in the intro, but experiences it differently due to their actions throughout the narrative. This is very compelling!

“1…2…3…4 pirouettes! New record!” My friends cheered as I landed my turns. Pleased with my progress, I gazed down at my worn-out pointe shoes. The sweltering blisters, numbing ice-baths, and draining late-night practices did not seem so bad after all. Next goal: five turns.

For as long as I can remember, ballet, in all its finesse and glamor, had kept me driven day to day. As a child, the lithe ballerinas, donning ethereal costumes as they floated across the stage, were my motivation. While others admired Messi and Adele, I idolized Carlos Acosta, principal dancer of the Royal Ballet. 

As I devoted more time and energy towards my craft, I became obsessed with improving my technique. I would stretch for hours after class, forcing my leg one inch higher in an effort to mirror the Dance Magazine cover girls. I injured my feet and ruined pair after pair of pointe shoes, turning on wood, cement, and even grass to improve my balance as I spun. At competitions, the dancers with the 180-degree leg extensions, endless turns, and soaring leaps—the ones who received “Bravos!” from the roaring audience—further pushed me to refine my skills and perfect my form. I believed that, with enough determination, I would one day attain their level of perfection. Reaching the quadruple-pirouette milestone only intensified my desire to accomplish even more. 

My efforts seemed to have come to fruition two summers ago when I was accepted to dance with Moscow’s Bolshoi Ballet at their renowned New York City summer intensive. I walked into my first session eager to learn from distinguished ballet masters and worldly dancers, already anticipating my improvement. Yet, as I danced alongside the accomplished ballerinas, I felt out of place. Despite their clean technique and professional training, they did not aim for glorious leg extensions or prodigious leaps. When they performed their turn combinations, most of them only executed two turns as I attempted four. 

“Dancers, double-pirouettes only.” 

Taken aback and confused, I wondered why our teacher expected so little from us. The other ballerinas seemed content, gracing the studio with their simple movements. 

As I grew closer with my Moscow roommates, I gradually learned that their training emphasized the history of the art form instead of stylistic tricks. Rather than show off their physical ability, their performances aimed to convey a story, one that embodied the rich culture of ballet and captured both the legacy of the dancers before them and their own artistry. As I observed my friends more intently in repertoire class, I felt the pain of the grief-stricken white swan from Swan Lake, the sass of the flirtatious Kitri from Don Quijote, and I gradually saw what I had overlooked before. My definition of talent had been molded by crowd-pleasing elements—whirring pirouettes, gravity-defying leaps, and mind-blowing leg extensions. This mindset slowly stripped me from the roots of my passion and my personal connection with ballet. 

With the Bolshoi, I learned to step back and explore the meaning behind each step and the people behind the scenes. Ballet carries history in its movements, from the societal values of the era to each choreographer’s unique flair. As I uncovered the messages behind each pirouette, kick, and jump, my appreciation for ballet grew beyond my obsession with raw athleticism and developed into a love for the art form’s emotive abilities in bridging the dancers with the audience. My journey as an artist has allowed me to see how technical execution is only the means to a greater understanding between dancer and spectator, between storyteller and listener. The elegance and complexity of ballet does not revolve around astonishing stunts but rather the evocative strength and artistry manifested in the dancer, in me. It is the combination of sentiments, history, tradition, and passion that has allowed ballet and its lessons of human connection to become my lifestyle both on and off stage.

This essay is about lessons. While the author is a dancer, this narrative isn’t really about ballet, per se — it’s about the author’s personal growth. It is purposefully reflective as the student shows a nice character arc that begins with an eager young ballerina and ends with a reflection on their past. The primary strength of this essay is the honesty and authenticity that the student approaches it with.

In the end, the student turns a cliche on its head as they embrace the idea of overcoming adversity and demonstrate how the adversity, in this case, was their own stereotypes about their art. It’s beautiful!

“Getting beat is one thing – it’s part of competing – but I want no part in losing.” Coach Rob Stark’s motto never fails to remind me of his encouragement on early-morning bus rides to track meets around the state. I’ve always appreciated the phrase, but an experience last June helped me understand its more profound, universal meaning.

Stark, as we affectionately call him, has coached track at my high school for 25 years. His care, dedication, and emphasis on developing good character has left an enduring impact on me and hundreds of other students. Not only did he help me discover my talent and love for running, but he also taught me the importance of commitment and discipline and to approach every endeavor with the passion and intensity that I bring to running. When I learned a neighboring high school had dedicated their track to a longtime coach, I felt that Stark deserved similar honors.

Our school district’s board of education indicated they would only dedicate our track to Stark if I could demonstrate that he was extraordinary. I took charge and mobilized my teammates to distribute petitions, reach out to alumni, and compile statistics on the many team and individual champions Stark had coached over the years. We received astounding support, collecting almost 3,000 signatures and pages of endorsements from across the community. With help from my teammates, I presented this evidence to the board.

They didn’t bite. 

Most members argued that dedicating the track was a low priority. Knowing that we had to act quickly to convince them of its importance, I called a team meeting where we drafted a rebuttal for the next board meeting. To my surprise, they chose me to deliver it. I was far from the best public speaker in the group, and I felt nervous about going before the unsympathetic board again. However, at that second meeting, I discovered that I enjoy articulating and arguing for something that I’m passionate about.

Public speaking resembles a cross country race. Walking to the starting line, you have to trust your training and quell your last minute doubts. When the gun fires, you can’t think too hard about anything; your performance has to be instinctual, natural, even relaxed. At the next board meeting, the podium was my starting line. As I walked up to it, familiar butterflies fluttered in my stomach. Instead of the track stretching out in front of me, I faced the vast audience of teachers, board members, and my teammates. I felt my adrenaline build, and reassured myself: I’ve put in the work, my argument is powerful and sound. As the board president told me to introduce myself, I heard, “runners set” in the back of my mind. She finished speaking, and Bang! The brief silence was the gunshot for me to begin. 

The next few minutes blurred together, but when the dust settled, I knew from the board members’ expressions and the audience’s thunderous approval that I had run quite a race. Unfortunately, it wasn’t enough; the board voted down our proposal. I was disappointed, but proud of myself, my team, and our collaboration off the track. We stood up for a cause we believed in, and I overcame my worries about being a leader. Although I discovered that changing the status quo through an elected body can be a painstakingly difficult process and requires perseverance, I learned that I enjoy the challenges this effort offers. Last month, one of the school board members joked that I had become a “regular” – I now often show up to meetings to advocate for a variety of causes, including better environmental practices in cafeterias and safer equipment for athletes.

Just as Stark taught me, I worked passionately to achieve my goal. I may have been beaten when I appealed to the board, but I certainly didn’t lose, and that would have made Stark proud.

This essay uses the idea of sports to explore a more profound topic—growing through relationships. They really embrace using sports as an avenue to tell the reader about a specific experience that changed the way they approach the world. 

The emphasis on relationships is why this essay works well and doesn’t fall into a cliche. The narrator grows not because of their experience with track but because of their relationship with their coach, who inspired them to evolve and become a leader.

Have a draft of your college essay? We’re here to help you polish it. Students can participate in a free Peer Review, or they can sign up for a paid review by CollegeVine’s experts. Sign up for your free CollegeVine account today to start improving your essay and your chances of acceptance!

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College Essay Myths Debunked: Yes, You Can Write About Sports

The notion that all students who play sports write college essays about their athletic pursuits is simply inaccurate. Last year one our our students, a star football player, wrote about his aptitude for solving puzzles. Another student on the school rowing team wrote about her family’s immigration story. Athletes are not just athletes — they are complex humans with varied talents and experiences, many of which are worth exploring in essay form. Still, it is impractical to think that students who devote thirty hours or more of their lives each week to a sport, won’t feel compelled to write about their passion for soccer or aptitude for tennis or cheerleading. And rightfully so. Sports teach valuable skills like leadership, teamwork and discipline. They foster bonds of friendship that often last decades or longer. A working knowledge of sports can even be a lifelong conversation starter among strangers.

Students do not have to shy away from detailing these experiences and what they learned from them — they just have to shift the lens, add another layer, or approach these topics from creative perspectives to make them both original and reflective of a greater range of interests and talents. For example, maybe your experience diving for the ball as a volleyball player allowed you to take a risk in applying for the job of your dreams. Perhaps the qualities needed to be a good basketball player and also the skills needed to command a boardroom. Students might want to steer away from major tropes like getting injured before a big game or scoring the winning goal — though if those stories are treated with sincerity and an innovative perspective, they can make for effective essays as well. The test of whether or not you have achieved the level of creativity necessary to set a sports essay apart from all the rest is this: Could any other basketball player have written your essay? If another lacrosse player put her name on your application, would the details still be mostly accurate? If the answer is yes, find another way in; add another twist; push towards a more compelling and creative conclusion. So, yes, you can write a sports essay — it just has to be a sports essay unlike any other.

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Category: College Admissions , Common App Prompts/Topics , Essay Tips

Tags: athlete college essays , college admissions , college essay , college essay tips , college essays about athletics , sports essays , writing about sports

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August 28, 2012

Sports in College Admissions Essays

We generally discourage our students from writing about sports in college admissions essays . Is that a rule we always stick to? No. Every once in a while, we read a great sports essay. But, on the whole, they generally tend to be terrible college admissions essays. Why’s that? They’re trite. They’re predictable. They’re the same thing over and over and over again. College admissions counselors read tons and tons of sports essays every day during reading season. Do you think most really want to read another one? Not really.

Sports admissions essays are typically entirely predictable. You worked hard, you improved, and you accomplished your goal. You worked really hard to achieve a goal but ultimately came up short. You did your very best in spite of not being very good and you walked away proud. You are an excellent athlete and you use your college admissions essay to let college admissions counselors know it (oy vey!). Does this sound about right? In what other direction could you possibly take your essay?

Are there exceptions? Yes. Sports can quite often be exciting. They are full of human emotion. They are full of adrenaline and rivalry. As long as you avoid at all cost trite drivel, it doesn’t have to be avoided like the plague. But it generally should be because too few college applicants are capable of avoiding trite content in sports essays. Maybe if you can tie in history or politics (i.e., The Miracle on Ice) or anything that showcases your intellectual side, you have a fighting shot of avoiding cliche drivel. And that’s exactly what it is when you fail to avoid the cliches — it’s drivel. We urge you to avoid sports college admissions essays, but if you choose to write one — take our advice.

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College Essay Examples | What Works and What Doesn't

Published on November 8, 2021 by Kirsten Courault . Revised on August 14, 2023.

One effective method for improving your college essay is to read example essays . Here are three sample essays, each with a bad and good version to help you improve your own essay.

Table of contents

Essay 1: sharing an identity or background through a montage, essay 2: overcoming a challenge, a sports injury narrative, essay 3: showing the influence of an important person or thing, other interesting articles, frequently asked questions about college application essays.

This essay uses a montage structure to show snapshots of a student’s identity and background. The writer builds her essay around the theme of the five senses, sharing memories she associates with sight, sound, smell, touch, and taste.

In the weak rough draft, there is little connection between the individual anecdotes, and they do not robustly demonstrate the student’s qualities.

In the final version, the student uses an extended metaphor of a museum to create a strong connection among her stories, each showcasing a different part of her identity. She draws a specific personal insight from each memory and uses the stories to demonstrate her qualities and values.

How My Five Senses Record My Life

Throughout my life, I have kept a record of my life’s journey with my five senses. This collection of memories matters a great deal because I experience life every day through the lens of my identity.

“Chinese! Japanese!”

My classmate pulls one eye up and the other down.

“Look what my parents did to me!”

No matter how many times he repeats it, the other kids keep laughing. I focus my almond-shaped eyes on the ground, careful not to attract attention to my discomfort, anger, and shame. How could he say such a mean thing about me? What did I do to him? Joseph’s words would engrave themselves into my memory, making me question my appearance every time I saw my eyes in the mirror.

Soaking in overflowing bubble baths with Andrew Lloyd Webber belting from the boombox.

Listening to “Cell Block Tango” with my grandparents while eating filet mignon at a dine-in show in Ashland.

Singing “The Worst Pies in London” at a Korean karaoke club while laughing hysterically with my brother, who can do an eerily spot-on rendition of Sweeney Todd.

Taking car rides with Mom in the Toyota Sequoia as we compete to hit the high note in “Think of Me” from The Phantom of the Opera . Neither of us stands a chance!

The sweet scent of vegetables, Chinese noodles, and sushi wafts through the room as we sit around the table. My grandma presents a good-smelling mixture of international cuisine for our Thanksgiving feast. My favorite is the Chinese food that she cooks. Only the family prayer stands between me and the chance to indulge in these delicious morsels, comforting me with their familiar savory scents.

I rinse a faded plastic plate decorated by my younger sister at the Waterworks Art Center. I wear yellow rubber gloves to protect my hands at Mom’s insistence, but I can still feel the warm water that offers a bit of comfort as I finish the task at hand. The crusted casserole dish with stubborn remnants from my dad’s five-layer lasagna requires extra effort, so I fill it with Dawn and scalding water, setting it aside to soak. I actually don’t mind this daily chore.

I taste sweat on my upper lip as I fight to continue pedaling on a stationary bike. Ava’s next to me and tells me to go up a level. We’re biking buddies, dieting buddies, and Saturday morning carbo-load buddies. After the bike display hits 30 minutes, we do a five-minute cool down, drink Gatorade, and put our legs up to rest.

My five senses are always gathering new memories of my identity. I’m excited to expand my collection.

Word count: 455

College essay checklist

Topic and structure

• I’ve selected a topic that’s meaningful to me.
• My essay reveals something different from the rest of my application.
• I have a clear and well-structured narrative.
• I’ve concluded with an insight or a creative ending.

Writing style and tone

• I’ve crafted an introduction containing vivid imagery or an intriguing hook that grabs the reader’s attention.
• I’ve written my essay in a way that shows instead of tells.
• I’ve used appropriate style and tone for a college essay.
• I’ve used specific, vivid personal stories that would be hard to replicate.
• I’ve demonstrated my positive traits and values in my essay.
• My essay is focused on me, not another person or thing.
• I’ve included self-reflection and insight in my essay.
• I’ve respected the word count , remaining within 10% of the upper word limit.

Making Sense of My Identity

Welcome to The Rose Arimoto Museum. You are about to enter the “Making Sense of My Identity” collection. Allow me to guide you through select exhibits, carefully curated memories from Rose’s sensory experiences.

First, the Sight Exhibit.

“Chinese! Japanese!”

“Look what my parents did to me!”

No matter how many times he repeats it, the other kids keep laughing. I focus my almond-shaped eyes on the ground, careful not to attract attention as my lip trembles and palms sweat. Joseph couldn’t have known how his words would engrave themselves into my memory, making me question my appearance every time I saw my eyes in the mirror.

Ten years later, these same eyes now fixate on an InDesign layout sheet, searching for grammar errors while my friend Selena proofreads our feature piece on racial discrimination in our hometown. As we’re the school newspaper editors, our journalism teacher Ms. Riley allows us to stay until midnight to meet tomorrow’s deadline. She commends our work ethic, which for me is fueled by writing一my new weapon of choice.

Next, you’ll encounter the Sound Exhibit.

Still, the world is my Broadway as I find my voice on stage.

Just below, enter the Smell Exhibit.

While I help my Pau Pau prepare dinner, she divulges her recipe for cha siu bau, with its soft, pillowy white exterior hiding the fragrant filling of braised barbecue pork inside. The sweet scent of candied yams, fun see , and Spam musubi wafts through the room as we gather around our Thankgsiving feast. After our family prayer, we indulge in these delicious morsels until our bellies say stop. These savory scents of my family’s cultural heritage linger long after I’ve finished the last bite.

Next up, the Touch Exhibit.

I rinse a handmade mug that I had painstakingly molded and painted in ceramics class. I wear yellow rubber gloves to protect my hands at Mom’s insistence, but I can still feel the warm water that offers a bit of comfort as I finish the task at hand. The crusted casserole dish with stubborn remnants from my dad’s five-layer lasagna requires extra effort, so I fill it with Dawn and scalding water, setting it aside to soak. For a few fleeting moments, as I continue my nightly chore, the pressure of my weekend job, tomorrow’s calculus exam, and next week’s track meet are washed away.

Finally, we end with the Taste Exhibit.

My legs fight to keep pace with the stationary bike as the salty taste of sweat seeps into corners of my mouth. Ava challenges me to take it up a level. We always train together一even keeping each other accountable on our strict protein diet of chicken breasts, broccoli, and Muscle Milk. We occasionally splurge on Saturday mornings after interval training, relishing the decadence of everything bagels smeared with raspberry walnut cream cheese. But this is Wednesday, so I push myself. I know that once the digital display hits 30:00, we’ll allow our legs to relax into a five-minute cool down, followed by the fiery tang of Fruit Punch Gatorade to rehydrate.

Thank you for your attention. This completes our tour. I invite you to rejoin us for next fall’s College Experience collection, which will exhibit Rose’s continual search for identity and learning.

Word count: 649

• I’ve crafted an essay introduction containing vivid imagery or an intriguing hook that grabs the reader’s attention.

Prevent plagiarism. Run a free check.

This essay uses a narrative structure to recount how a student overcame a challenge, specifically a sports injury. Since this topic is often overused, the essay requires vivid description, a memorable introduction and conclusion , and interesting insight.

The weak rough draft contains an interesting narrative, insight, and vivid imagery, but it has an overly formal tone that distracts the reader from the story. The student’s use of elaborate vocabulary in every sentence makes the essay sound inauthentic and stilted.

The final essay uses a more natural, conversational tone and chooses words that are vivid and specific without being pretentious. This allows the reader to focus on the narrative and appreciate the student’s unique insight.

One fateful evening some months ago, a defensive linebacker mauled me, his 212 pounds indisputably alighting upon my ankle. Ergo, an abhorrent cracking of calcified tissue. At first light the next day, I awoke cognizant of a new paradigm—one sans football—promulgated by a stabbing sensation that would continue to haunt me every morning of this semester.

It’s been an exceedingly taxing semester not being able to engage in football, but I am nonetheless excelling in school. That twist of fate never would have come to pass if I hadn’t broken my ankle. I still limp down the halls at school, but I’m feeling less maudlin these days. My friends don’t steer clear anymore, and I have a lot more of them. My teachers, emboldened by my newfound interest in learning, continually invite me to learn more and do my best. Football is still on hold, but I feel like I’m finally playing a game that matters.

Five months ago, right after my ill-fated injury, my friends’ demeanor became icy and remote, although I couldn’t fathom why. My teachers, in contrast, beckoned me close and invited me on a new learning journey. But despite their indubitably kind advances, even they recoiled when I drew near.

A few weeks later, I started to change my attitude vis-à-vis my newfound situation and determined to put my energy toward productive ends (i.e., homework). I wasn’t enamored with school. I never had been. Nevertheless, I didn’t abhor it either. I just preferred football.

My true turn of fate came when I started studying more and participating in class. I started to enjoy history class, and I grew interested in reading more. I discovered a volume of poems written by a fellow adventurer on the road of life, and I loved it. I ravenously devoured everything in the writer’s oeuvre .

As the weeks flitted past, I found myself spending my time with a group of people who were quite different from me. They participated in theater and played instruments in marching band. They raised their hands in class when the teacher posed a question. Because of their auspicious influence, I started raising my hand too. I am no longer vapid, and I now have something to say.

I am certain that your school would benefit from my miraculous academic transformation, and I entreat you to consider my application to your fine institution. Accepting me to your university would be an unequivocally righteous decision.

Word count: 408

• I’ve chosen a college essay topic that’s meaningful to me.
• I’ve respected the essay word count , remaining within 10% of the upper word limit.

As I step out of bed, the pain shoots through my foot and up my leg like it has every morning since “the game.” That night, a defensive linebacker tackled me, his 212 pounds landing decidedly on my ankle. I heard the sound before I felt it. The next morning, I awoke to a new reality—one without football—announced by a stabbing sensation that would continue to haunt me every morning of this semester.

My broken ankle broke my spirit.

My friends steered clear of me as I hobbled down the halls at school. My teachers tried to find the delicate balance between giving me space and offering me help. I was as unsure how to deal with myself as they were.

In time, I figured out how to redirect some of my frustration, anger, and pent-up energy toward my studies. I had never not liked school, but I had never really liked it either. In my mind, football practice was my real-life classroom, where I could learn all I ever needed to know.

Then there was that day in Mrs. Brady’s history class. We sang a ridiculous-sounding mnemonic song to memorize all the Chinese dynasties from Shang to Qing. I mumbled the words at first, but I got caught up in the middle of the laughter and began singing along. Starting that day, I began browsing YouTube videos about history, curious to learn more. I had started learning something new, and, to my surprise, I liked it.

With my afternoons free from burpees and scrimmages, I dared to crack open a few more of my books to see what was in them. That’s when my English poetry book, Paint Me Like I Am , caught my attention. It was full of poems written by students my age from WritersCorps. I couldn’t get enough.

I wasn’t the only one who was taken with the poems. Previously, I’d only been vaguely aware of Christina as one of the weird kids I avoided. Crammed in the margins of her high-top Chuck Taylors were scribbled lines of her own poetry and infinite doodles. Beyond her punk rock persona was a sensitive artist, puppy-lover, and environmental activist that a wide receiver like me would have never noticed before.

With Christina, I started making friends with people who once would have been invisible to me: drama geeks, teachers’ pets, band nerds. Most were college bound but not to play a sport. They were smart and talented, and they cared about people and politics and all sorts of issues that I hadn’t considered before. Strangely, they also seemed to care about me.

I still limp down the halls at school, but I don’t seem to mind as much these days. My friends don’t steer clear anymore, and I have a lot more of them. My teachers, excited by my newfound interest in learning, continually invite me to learn more and do my best. Football is still on hold, but I feel like I’m finally playing a game that matters.

My broken ankle broke my spirit. Then, it broke my ignorance.

Word count: 512

This essay uses a narrative structure to show how a pet positively influenced the student’s values and character.

In the weak draft, the student doesn’t focus on himself, instead delving into too much detail about his dog’s positive traits and his grandma’s illness. The essay’s structure is meandering, with tangents and details that don’t communicate any specific insight.

In the improved version, the student keeps the focus on himself, not his pet. He chooses the most relevant stories to demonstrate specific qualities, and the structure more clearly builds up to an insightful conclusion.

Man’s Best Friend

I desperately wanted a cat. I begged my parents for one, but once again, my sisters overruled me, so we drove up the Thompson Valley Canyon from Loveland to Estes Park to meet our newest family member. My sisters had already hatched their master plan, complete with a Finding Nemo blanket to entice the pups. The blanket was a hit with all of them, except for one—the one who walked over and sat in my lap. That was the day that Francisco became a Villanova.

Maybe I should say he was mine because I got stuck with all the chores. As expected, my dog-loving sisters were nowhere to be found! My mom was “extra” with all the doggy gear. Cisco even had to wear these silly little puppy shoes outside so that when he came back in, he wouldn’t get the carpets dirty. If it was raining, my mother insisted I dress Cisco in a ridiculous yellow raincoat, but, in my opinion, it was an unnecessary source of humiliation for poor Cisco. It didn’t take long for Cisco to decide that his outerwear could be used as toys in a game of Keep Away. As soon as I took off one of his shoes, he would run away with it, hiding under the bed where I couldn’t reach him. But, he seemed to appreciate his ensemble more when we had to walk through snowdrifts to get his job done.

When my abuela was dying from cancer, we went in the middle of the night to see her before she passed. I was sad and scared. But, my dad let me take Cisco in the car, so Cisco cuddled with me and made me feel much better. It’s like he could read my mind. Once we arrived at the hospital, the fluorescent lighting made the entire scene seem unreal, as if I was watching the scene unfold through someone else’s eyes. My grandma lay calmly on her bed, smiling at us even through her last moments of pain. I disliked seeing the tubes and machines hooked up to her. It was unnatural to see her like this一it was so unlike the way I usually saw her beautiful in her flowery dress, whistling a Billie Holiday tune and baking snickerdoodle cookies in the kitchen. The hospital didn’t usually allow dogs, but they made a special exception to respect my grandma’s last wishes that the whole family be together. Cisco remained at the foot of the bed, intently watching abuela with a silence that seemed more effective at communicating comfort and compassion than the rest of us who attempted to offer up words of comfort that just seemed hollow and insincere. It was then that I truly appreciated Cisco’s empathy for others.

As I accompanied my dad to pick up our dry cleaner’s from Ms. Chapman, a family friend asked, “How’s Cisco?” before even asking about my sisters or me. Cisco is the Villanova family mascot, a Goldendoodle better recognized by strangers throughout Loveland than the individual members of my family.

On our summer trip to Boyd Lake State Park, we stayed at the Cottonwood campground for a breathtaking view of the lake. Cisco was allowed to come, but we had to keep him on a leash at all times. After a satisfying meal of fish, our entire family walked along the beach. Cisco and I led the way while my mom and sisters shuffled behind. Cisco always stopped and refused to move, looking back to make sure the others were still following. Once satisfied that everyone was together, he would turn back around and continue prancing with his golden boy curly locks waving in the chilly wind.

On the beach, Cisco “accidentally” got let off his leash and went running maniacally around the sand, unfettered and free. His pure joy as he raced through the sand made me forget about my AP Chem exam or my student council responsibilities. He brings a smile not only to my family members but everyone around him.

Cisco won’t live forever, but without words, he has impressed upon me life lessons of responsibility, compassion, loyalty, and joy. I can’t imagine life without him.

Word count: 701

I quickly figured out that as “the chosen one,” I had been enlisted by Cisco to oversee all aspects of his “business.” I learned to put on Cisco’s doggie shoes to keep the carpet clean before taking him out一no matter the weather. Soon after, Cisco decided that his shoes could be used as toys in a game of Keep Away. As soon as I removed one of his shoes, he would run away with it, hiding under the bed where I couldn’t reach him. But, he seemed to appreciate his footwear more after I’d gear him up and we’d tread through the snow for his daily walks.

One morning, it was 7:15 a.m., and Alejandro was late again to pick me up. “Cisco, you don’t think he overslept again, do you?” Cisco barked, as if saying, “Of course he did!” A text message would never do, so I called his dad, even if it was going to get him in trouble. There was no use in both of us getting another tardy during our first-period class, especially since I was ready on time after taking Cisco for his morning outing. Alejandro was mad at me but not too much. He knew I had helped him out, even if he had to endure his dad’s lecture on punctuality.

Another early morning, I heard my sister yell, “Mom! Where are my good ballet flats? I can’t find them anywhere!” I hesitated and then confessed, “I moved them.” She shrieked at me in disbelief, but I continued, “I put them in your closet, so Cisco wouldn’t chew them up.” More disbelief. However, this time, there was silence instead of shrieking.

Last spring, Cisco and I were fast asleep when the phone rang at midnight. Abuela would not make it through the night after a long year of chemo, but she was in Pueblo, almost three hours away. Sitting next to me for that long car ride on I-25 in pitch-black darkness, Cisco knew exactly what I needed and snuggled right next to me as I petted his coat in a rhythm while tears streamed down my face. The hospital didn’t usually allow dogs, but they made a special exception to respect my grandma’s last wishes that the whole family be together. Cisco remained sitting at the foot of the hospital bed, intently watching abuela with a silence that communicated more comfort than our hollow words. Since then, whenever I sense someone is upset, I sit in silence with them or listen to their words, just like Cisco did.

The other day, one of my friends told me, “You’re a strange one, Josue. You’re not like everybody else but in a good way.” I didn’t know what he meant at first. “You know, you’re super responsible and grown-up. You look out for us instead of yourself. Nobody else does that.” I was a bit surprised because I wasn’t trying to do anything different. I was just being me. But then I realized who had taught me: a fluffy little puppy who I had wished was a cat! I didn’t choose Cisco, but he certainly chose me and, unexpectedly, became my teacher, mentor, and friend.

Word count: 617

If you want to know more about academic writing , effective communication , or parts of speech , make sure to check out some of our other articles with explanations and examples.

Academic writing

• Writing process
• Transition words
• Passive voice
• Paraphrasing

 Communication

• How to end an email
• Ms, mrs, miss
• How to start an email
• I hope this email finds you well
• Hope you are doing well

 Parts of speech

• Personal pronouns
• Conjunctions

A standout college essay has several key ingredients:

• A unique, personally meaningful topic
• A memorable introduction with vivid imagery or an intriguing hook
• Specific stories and language that show instead of telling
• Vulnerability that’s authentic but not aimed at soliciting sympathy
• Clear writing in an appropriate style and tone
• A conclusion that offers deep insight or a creative ending

There are no set rules for how to structure a college application essay , but these are two common structures that work:

• A montage structure, a series of vignettes with a common theme.
• A narrative structure, a single story that shows your personal growth or how you overcame a challenge.

Avoid the five-paragraph essay structure that you learned in high school.

Though admissions officers are interested in hearing your story, they’re also interested in how you tell it. An exceptionally written essay will differentiate you from other applicants, meaning that admissions officers will spend more time reading it.

You can use literary devices to catch your reader’s attention and enrich your storytelling; however, focus on using just a few devices well, rather than trying to use as many as possible.

Most importantly, your essay should be about you , not another person or thing. An insightful college admissions essay requires deep self-reflection, authenticity, and a balance between confidence and vulnerability.

Your essay shouldn’t be a résumé of your experiences but instead should tell a story that demonstrates your most important values and qualities.

When revising your college essay , first check for big-picture issues regarding message, flow, tone, style , and clarity. Then, focus on eliminating grammar and punctuation errors.

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Yale Class of 1963 - 50th Reunion New Haven, CT    May 30-June 2, 2013

Personal Essay

Immediately following graduation from Yale, I went to law school.  I spent one year as a law clerk in the Federal Court of Appeals in New York, and then went to work for the firm of Davis Polk & Wardwell LLP, where I have been ever since.  I have learned a great deal from my clients and from the talented lawyers I have worked with and against.  However, all good things eventually come to an end, and on March 31, 2013, having reached our firm’s mandatory retirement age of 70, I am scheduled to retire from active practice. My first marriage, to Catherine Tolstoy Arapoff, an artist, ended in divorce in 1985.  We have two children, Andrew (a litigation lawyer in Los Angeles) and Cathie (a professor at the University of Pennsylvania Law School).  Andy’s two children, Elizabeth and Jack, are as yet my only grandchildren. In 1986 I married Marcia Mayo Hill, an interpreter at the United Nations, whose principal career since her retirement in 2004 has been as a master swimmer, swimming competitively at both regional and national levels.  All of you who have seen us together know how much I owe to Marcia, who has made my life anything but ordinary.  We have four children, Frank (a second-year medical student), Guy Jr. (a graduate of SUNY Albany), Beverly (who died at the age of one year following a failed heart operation, and whom we remember constantly), and Elena (whom we adopted in Moscow following Beverly’s death). I am very much in the market for good ideas about what to do in retirement.  For the time being, my principal idea is to go back to what I have always loved to do, namely, learn new things.  Starting the day after retirement, I intend to take the set of textbooks on Anglo-Saxon that my father bought many years ago, and start learning the language. This essay would be incomplete without mentioning how much I have learned from reunions and other activities of our Class over the years.  Perhaps the most educational thing about Yale for me has been the journey we have all taken together since graduation.  I look forward to continuing that journey at our 50th Reunion. The following story will illustrate what I mean.  Ian Robertson is a very good friend, and a stalwart of our 50th Reunion effort.  Our paths did not cross in college.  Recently Ian told me that, during our freshman year, he saw me waiting in line for dinner in Commons, and felt very sorry for me.  As soon as Ian said that, I saw myself then as Ian saw me, an awkward, clueless 16-year-old, and for a moment I felt sorry for myself too.  Then I remembered that the story does not end there, that Ian and I have since gotten to know each other, and that now, half a century later, he and I are fast friends.  That would never have happened but for our continuing involvement with the Class.  

YELLOW PAGES -> -> Russian Gnesins' Academy of Music is the first university level school to open Music Management Department. This Department is working for several years and is offering practically two higher educations in one - music and economics.      Address: Povarskaya str. 30-36 | Phone +7 (495) 291-5813       Website: There are departments: - Of Foreign Language (English, German, French, Spanish). - Of Pre-school studies. - Of Folk and others.      Address: Dekabristov str., 2 | Phone +7 (495) 907-16-47 Gives the basic musical education and conducts early musical and pedagogical specialization. Prepares for entering the college and university (musical departments).      Address: Novopestchanaja str., 26 | Phone +7 (495) 198-0421 Copyright  2003- Optima Tours All rights reserved. | | | | | | | | | | | | Watch CBS News Never-before-seen photos and details about the man accused of murdering four Idaho college students By Peter Van Sant January 7, 2023 / 11:02 PM EST / CBS News Under a dark Idaho sky, investigators flew Bryan Kohberger to the college town of Moscow. Police delivered him to the Latah County Jail. On Jan. 5, in an orange jumpsuit, his face vacant, the 28-year-old made what will likely be his first of many appearances in this court.   He stands charged with the murder of four students from the University of Idaho: Kaylee Goncalves, Madison "Maddie" Mogen, Ethan Chapin and Xana Kernodle. Investigators say he stabbed them to death in the home the women shared.  JUDGE: The maximum penalty for this offense, if you plead guilty or be found guilty is up to  death and imprisonment for life. Do you understand?   BRYAN KOHBERGER: Yes.   Kohberger has not yet entered a plea. In an affidavit , investigators laid out their understanding of the grim details about the night of the killings:  They say the killer left his DNA on a "leather knife sheath" found on a bed next to Maddie Mogen. And, most hauntingly, they say a surviving roommate thought she heard crying and "saw a figure clad in black clothing and a mask."     The man walked past, as she stood in "frozen shock."  She locked herself in her room.   The investigation is fast-moving. Authorities have not disclosed a motive or if he had a connection to the students, but we are learning more about just who Bryan Kohberger is.    WHO IS ACCUSED KILLER BRYAN KOHBERGER? Just 15 days before his arrest, Bryan Kohberger and his father were driving home from Washington State University for winter break to the family's home in Pennsylvania. OFFICER (body cam video): Hello MICHAEL KOHBERGER: How you doing? OFFICER: How ya'll doin today? The journey interrupted by two traffic stops, almost 10 minutes apart, in Indiana for tailgating. MICHAEL KOHBERGER (to officer): We're gonna be going to Pennsylvania, a couple more miles. OFFICER: Oh, OK. MICHAEL KOHBERGER: …to the Pocono Mountains. We're a little, we're slightly punchy. We've been driving for hours.  Police body cam video shows Kohberger and his father talking calmly with an officer about the trip. OFFICER: Hours? And days? BRYAN KOHBERGER: Hours. MICHAEL KOHBERGER: Hours. Well, we've been driving for almost a day. OFFICER: Do me a favor and don't follow too close, OK?   Then they are released with a warning. Kohberger had been at the university since August, studying to get his Ph.D. in criminology. He was also a teaching assistant in the Department of Criminal Justice. He lived in an apartment complex on campus and had an office there. According to the newly released affidavit, Kohberger had applied for an internship with the Pullman Police Department in the fall. He wrote in his application essay that "he had interest in assisting rural law enforcement agencies with how to better collect and analyze technological data." Benjamin Roberts took four classes with Kohberger. Benjamin Roberts : He seemed very comfortable around other people. He was very quick to offer his opinion and thoughts. And he was always participating fairly eagerly in classroom discussions. He says Kohberger appeared highly intelligent. Peter Van Sant : Does anything else come to mind that Bryan said to you in the past that today you think might be of interest? Benjamin Roberts : There was a comment that he made, and it was kind of a flippant guy talk thing. At one point, he just idly mentioned, you know, "I can go down to a bar or a club and pretty much have any lady I want." Kohberger arrived at the university after earning his bachelor's in psychology and master's degree in criminal justice at DeSales University in Center Valley, Pennsylvania.   While at DeSales, authorities say Bryan Kohberger posted this survey, approved by the university, on the website Reddit asking ex-cons about the crimes they committed. One question he asked: "Before making your move, how did you approach the victim or target? James Gagliano : This could be a piece of circumstantial evidence. James Gagliano is a retired FBI Supervisory Special Agent and CBS News consultant. James Gagliano: The fact that the suspect was interested in pursuing a Ph.D. in criminal justice and was especially interested in … the mental state that people who had committed murders in the past … yes, it could be interesting to note. But I know a lot of researchers that study those things, too, that would never commit a quadruple homicide. And if Kohberger was involved in these murders, genetic genealogist CeCe Moore questions why he would be so careless as to allegedly leave his DNA at the crime scene.  CeCe Moore : People are talking about how smart he supposedly is. And I just can't see how that could be true, because any student of forensic science or criminology would have to know that it's virtually impossible not to leave your DNA behind at a very violent, intimate crime scene like this. CeCe Moore : You know, Ted Bundy thought he was smart. But he wasn't that smart, as it turns out. After the murders, Roberts says Kohberger appeared disheveled, tired and chattier than usual. But nothing could prepare Roberts for what he learned o f Kohberger's arrest. Benjamin Roberts : Looking back over the last four months, I feel like there should have been signs that I should have seen. And I didn't ... I was blindsided. Jason LaBar : This is out of character for Bryan, these allegations. Monroe County public defender Jason LaBar represented Kohberger before he was extradited to Idaho. Jason LaBar : The family would want the general public to know that Bryan is a caring son and brother —that's he's responsible, that he is devoted to them. In a statement the family said, "we care deeply for the for the four families who have lost their precious children" ... and that they "seek the truth and promote his presumption of innocence rather than judge unknown facts and make erroneous assumptions." Jason LaBar : He is innocent until proven otherwise. LaBar says Kohberger came from a close-knit family. He grew up in eastern Pennsylvania in the Pocono Mountains. His father was as a maintenance worker and his mom worked in the school system. Bryan has two older sisters – one who works as a family therapist, and another sister who appeared in a 2011 low budget slasher film, "Two Days Back," about a group of young students viciously murdered by a serial killer. She now works as a school counselor.  Bree : My heart goes out to Bryan's family. Kohberger's friend, Bree, says she met Bryan at a party when they attended Pleasant Valley High School. She asked "48 Hours" not to use her last name. Bree : Bryan was really funny. He wasn't outgoing at all. But he also wasn't shy. She says they bonded over their love of the outdoors. Bree : I don't necessarily remember the conversations, but you definitely remember how someone makes you feel. … I just remember feeling OK — I was just with a friend. … Just felt natural. Bree recalls Kohberger was an average student with only a few close friends. In a yearbook photo, Kohberger's caption said he aspired to be an Army Ranger. Casey Artnz also knew Kohberger from high school . She posted this Tik Tok following Bryan's arrest. CASEY ARNTZ TIK TOK: "I used to be friends with Bryan Kohberger" ... "I'm in actual shock right now." Casey Arntz : He was an overweight kid. … So, he did get bullied a lot. But Arntz says people saw a change in Kohberger the beginning of senior year. Casey Arntz : He lost like 100 pounds . … He was a rail. … It was after that weight loss that a lot of people noticed a huge switch in him. Casey Arntz : My brother has since come out to say that even though they were friends, Bryan bullied him. Casey Arntz : He had said that he would put him in like a chokeholds and stuff like that. Bree says Kohberger started using heroin, which ended their friendship. Bree : You just saw him becoming more self-destructive. … He really stayed secluded. It's unclear when exactly Kohberger went into recovery, but both Bree and Casey say years after he graduated high school it appeared as if he was getting his life together. He was going to Northampton Community College and working security for Pleasant Valley School District. Bree : He was telling me that he wanted to get sober, that he was getting sober. … And he wanted to let me know like, "I'm gonna do better. I'm gonna be better." Bree : I'm sorry ... (emotional)  Casey Arntz : The last time I saw Bryan was in 2017 at one of my friend's wedding. … And I gave him a hug and I said, "You look so good. Like I'm so proud of you." And both Bree and Casey say it appeared that Kohberger had a new focus — his studies in criminology. Bree : He wanted to do something that impacted people in a good way. Bree: People were not his strong suit. And think through his criminology studies, he was really trying to understand humans and to try and understand himself. Now Bree, like many who knew him, struggles to connect the person they once knew to this unspeakable crime. Bree : I think a lot of people who were close to him are feeling this massive amount of guilt … "Why didn't I see it? Did I miss something? … Where did it go wrong? THE YOUNG LIVES LOST Before it was a crime scene, it was a home to five close friends. Maybe none closer than Maddie Mogen and Kaylee Goncalves. On TikTok, the 21-year-old seniors looked like they were enjoying their final school year. In the early morning of November 13, the two friends headed to a food truck. But their seemingly carefree existence would come to an abrupt end just hours later. Kaylee and Maddie were stabbed to death in the upstairs part of the house. A hundred miles away in northern Idaho, Kaylee's father Steve got the news. Peter Van Sant : Steve, give us a sense of the shock of that moment. Steve Goncalves : You just feel like you're getting crushed by a thousand pounds of weight. Peter Van Sant : What do you want the world to know about your daughter, Kaylee? Steve Goncalves : I want the world to know, they — they got robbed. Somebody stole from you. Steve Goncalves says his daughter Kaylee would have made the world a better place. A general studies major, she was the middle child of five siblings. Goncalves says Kaylee was always up for a challenge. Steve Goncalves : She grew up around two boys that were, you know, older than her. And uh, she didn't see any reason why she couldn't be as quick and fast and as good as those two boys were. Peter Van Sant : What did she want to do with her life? Steve Goncalves : Like most young people, it changed. She was gonna be a teacher. … But once she found out how long it was gonna take to pay back her student loans, she — she said, "Dad, you know, this thing that you do with computers seems to work pretty well." She reportedly had a job lined up in Austin but made it clear that one day she hoped to settle down somewhere near her dearest friend Maddie Mogen.  Maddie was a marketing major, and she and Kaylee had been inseparable since the sixth grade. Steve Goncalves : I just felt like it was more of a sistership than it was a friendship ... And she was just one of our kids. So, it perhaps did not come as a surprise when Steve revealed at a November memorial that Kaylee and Maddie died side-by-side. STEVE GONCALVES (memorial service): They went to high school together. … They came here together. … And in the end, they died together. In the same room, in the same bed. It comforts us. It lets us know that they were with their best friends in the whole world. It was a belief Maddie's stepfather, Scott Laramie, repeated to another packed memorial just days later. SCOTT LARAMIE (memorial service): The two of 'em were a force to be reckoned with. They stuck together through everything. Maddie had a boyfriend, Jake Schriger. JAKE SCHRIGER (memorial service): She was the first person I talked to every morning and the last person I talked to before bed. They had been together for more than a year. Schriger says Maddie had a talent for making people laugh. JAKE SCHRIGER (memorial service): She was really funny. Her jokes really would come outta nowhere … And just be like, "Is that the — the cute little blonde girl that just said that?" But Maddie and Kaylee weren't the only victims.  While two other roommates were in their rooms and unharmed during the attacks, on the second floor, the killer made his way to the room of Xana Kernodle. JAZZMIN KERNODLE (memorial service): She was my baby sister, but she was so much wiser. Xana's sister, Jazzmin. JAZZMIN KERNODLE (memorial service): She would always tell me she wouldn't know what to do without me. And now I have to live this life without her. A 20-year-old junior majoring in marketing, Xana was known for being focused on her studies. So focused, she didn't make much time for dating. JAZZMIN KERNODLE (memorial service): Xana never had a boyfriend before, and my dad and I wondered if she was ever gonna get one (laughs). That was until she met Ethan Chapin. JAZZMIN KERNODLE (memorial service): The way she would talk and smile about him was something I've never seen her do before. Ethan was a 20-year-old majoring in recreation and tourism management. Jazzmin says Xana and Ethan began dating in the spring of 2022. JAZZMIN KERNODLE (memorial service): They had something so special and everyone around them knew. Especially anyone who followed the pair on Instagram. For Ethan's birthday, Xana posted photos of them with the caption: "Life is so much better with you in it, love you!" It would be her last Instagram post. Just two weeks later, the young couple was found stabbed to death in Xana's bedroom. At the University of Idaho, the pain of this tragedy is felt at the root and extends hundreds of miles away to a tulip farm in Skagit Valley, Washington. It's where Ethan worked before heading to college. His boss, Andrew Miller. Andrew Miller : So, Ethan started – it was in the spring of — of '21. … It was the best Tulip Festival. Miller says the annual tulip festival attracts close to half-a-million visitors, and Ethan stood out in the crowd. Andrew Miller : Well, he's a big guy wearin' a big smile, right? I think that's the part that I – that kinda struck me right away. Ethan – a triplet – worked there with his siblings, Maizie and Hunter, and lived in a rented house on the farm with their parents. The Chapin triplets were incredibly close says Reese Gardner. Reese Gardner :  They were best friends. … If one did something, they all did something. … It was pretty cool to see. Including attending the University of Idaho together. Andrew Miller : And that was the funniest thing, it was like, of course it was a package deal. Like, all three of 'em were gonna go there. Ariah Macagba : He was excited, I think, 'cause his siblings were going with him. Ariah Macagba says Ethan's parents had decided to live in Idaho, too. Macagba says when she heard Ethan had been murdered, she couldn't believe it.   Ariah Macagba : I think the first thing I did was message Ethan. I was like, "Hey, you're OK, right? Like, this isn't real." (crying) And — obviously, he didn't respond. Reese Gardner scoured the internet for information. Reese Gardner : And I just couldn't stop reading articles and … I just wanted to know what happened, and I wanted to know why. But in lieu of answers, Gardner turned to tulips. He had an idea: name one after Ethan. Reese Gardner : I thought, "There's — there's no better way … to remember someone who had such a big part, a big role in those farms." Andrew Miller : Cause Reese called me … And it was, "Hey, can this be done, and are you interested in doing it?" And I was, "Yes, and hell yes." But creating a new tulip is a long process, so instead, Miller suggested a mix of tulips that would be a perfect tribute to Ethan: yellow and white. Andrew Miller : Yellow, of course, because Go Vandals. University of Idaho, right? That's significant. And then white is — is an eternal color, right? And tulips come up in the spring. It is a symbol of — of hope. With his parents' blessing, they named the mix of tulips, "Ethan's Smile." Andrew Miller : So, this will be a nice yellow or white tulip here in about four months. The trio planted thousands of bulbs in the state of Washington and sent a couple thousand more to the University of Idaho. Andrew Miller : And it really is our hope that we'll be able to continue to plant and that anybody that wants to remember him will be able to have their own Ethan's — Ethan's Smile Garden. …  It's a living legacy. Now it is up to prosecutors to get justice for these young victims . IN SEARCH OF ANSWERS Forty-seven days after the murders of Kaylee Goncalves, Ethan Chapin, Madison Mogen, and Xana Kernodle, authorities apprehended the man they believed was responsible.  We now know investigators had Bryan Kohberger in their sights early on but kept it close to the vest. So, in the early days, after the Nov. 13 murders, frustration swept over Moscow, Idaho. James Gagliano : I think in this instance people were expecting a pretty quick arrest in this case, and it takes time. Steve Goncalves, father of 21-year-old Kaylee, was trying as best he could to deal with news no one expects. Steve Goncalves : Most things I'm prepared for. Most things as a dad, you can— you can handle. But somethin' like that, you just can't prepare for and you can't fix it. Steve Goncalves : And, you know, just think if you do everything right, by the book, somethin' like this couldn't happen. Peter Van Sant : Did you have any sense who might have done something like this? Steve Goncalves : No … I didn't think anybody in her inner circles was — was capable of interacting and — and her doing something that could even deserve something like that. As news spread of the murders, so did shock in the college community, which had not seen a homicide since 2015. Matt Loveless : Parents drove hundreds of miles to pick up their kids to head home and stay home for the semester. Matt Loveless is a journalism professor at nearby Washington State University. Matt Loveless : At this point, we don't know if they're gonna come back for — the spring semester there on campus. And that same thing happened in both our communities. James Gagliano: And, so, when parents send their kids off to school, for something to happen like this, I think it's a parent's worst nightmare James Gagliano : And it's a place, Moscow, Idaho, where violent crime really is not an issue. As police started their investigation, they traced the victims' final steps. The day before the murders seemed to start ordinarily. Kaylee Goncalves posted photos with her roommates and Ethan Chapin, to her Instagram account with the caption, "One lucky girl to be surrounded by these ppl everyday." That evening, Ethan and Xana attended a party at a fraternity house on campus.  Kaylee and Madison were at a bar between 10 p.m. and 1:30 a.m. They were then seen at a local food vendor, the "Grub Truck."  It is believed they all returned home by about 2 a.m. on Nov. 13. James Gagliano : So, in examining the timeline , police know that the crime took place sometime in the early morning hours. There were also two other University of Idaho students who were inside the house when the murders took place. It was later that morning that a call was made to 911 from one of the surviving roommate's phones to report an unconscious person.  Police arrived at the house at 11:58 a.m. James Gagliano : Police find the victims on the second and third floor of the house in bedrooms — a horrific and a very large-scale crime scene 'cause you're gonna be dealing with a number of different floors that need to be processed, the bedrooms where the crimes actually occurred, and then ingress and egress points. How did the — how did the alleged killer get inside the house? Through a front door? Through a window? Those are all things police will be looking at. CHIEF JAMES FRY (to reporters): No weapon has been located at this time. There was no sign of forced entry into the residence. On Nov. 16, three days after the murders, the Moscow Police held their first press conference. CHIEF JAMES FRY (to reporters): We believe this was an isolated, targeted attack on our victims. We do not have a suspect at this time and that individual is still out there. Coroner Cathy Mabbutt issued her report on Nov. 17. Coroner Cathy Mabbutt: They were all murdered through stabbing with some kind of a, probably a larger knife… She told police some of the four victims had defensive wounds, but none had signs of sexual assault.  Police continued to work the case, aided by the Idaho State Police and the FBI. James Gagliano : I just believe that the Moscow Police Department probably just didn't have a lot of experience in working a homicide, especially one as heinous as this one.   After about three weeks with no arrests, and what, to the public, appeared to be no real suspects, Steve Goncalves grew more concerned that authorities weren't doing enough and that the murders would turn into a cold case. So, he says, he started working with his own team to investigate the murders. Steve Goncalves : So, we just thought, "This is the time. Let's get it out there, and let's not let it get cold. Let's get as many resources as— as possible." Peter Van Sant : And did you have any sense whatsoever as to what a motive … might have been for these murders? Steve Goncalves : Pretty girls and a handsome guy. I thought, you know, that might be somethin' to do with their, you know, stalking them in the sense of that. Meanwhile, names of possible people of interest were trickling out — including members of the community and acquaintances of the victims. But they all seemed to be part of an unfounded rumor mill, many from online sleuths.  Goncalves even had people come to him to prove they were not involved. Steve Goncalves : We — had certain suspects take their shirts off in our kitchen to show if they had scratches. And we tried to do everything in — in our powers to make sure that if we thought somebody was ruled out, we truly — we truly felt like, you know, we — we looked at 'em. Law enforcement would end up receiving thousands of tips, but the investigation, by outward appearances, seemed to be stalled.  Nearly a month after the murders, on Dec. 7, police were seen packing up the victims' belongings to return to the families, who had lost so much. It was the police chief behind the wheel of the U-Haul truck. That same day, a plea was made to the public. Police were interested in speaking with the occupant(s) of a white 2011-2013 Hyundai Elantra with an unknown license plate, spotted near the crime scene, around the time of the killings. AMANDA ROLEY | KREM REPORTER: Today's update is the first descriptive tip that we have received in several days. Detectives now want to speak with anyone who was inside a white Hyundai Elantra that was near this home on King Road around Nov. 13th.   Police released photos of similar makes to the vehicle they were looking for. CHIEF JAMES FRY (to reporters): We still believe there is more information to be gathered. James Gagliano : Pushing that out to the media. Pushing that out to people on the internet. Pushing that out so that people can look for either a potential suspect, person of interest, or a potential vehicle. That goes a long way towards running down leads. INSIDE THE INVESTIGATION It turns out that about two weeks before the police asked the public to be on the lookout for a white Hyundai Elantra , they had already shared that information with surrounding law enforcement. And on Nov. 29, 2022, a white Elantra was located by Washington State University Police. The car was registered to Bryan Kohberger. CBS News learned, that in mid-December, the Hyundai Elantra was tracked for several days by the FBI, using E-ZPass monitoring, fixed wing aircraft and ground support, as it was driven by Kohberger, along with his father, from Pullman, Washington, on that cross-country trip to the family's home in Pennsylvania. On Dec. 15, the car was stopped twice in Indiana for those driving violations, by the Indiana State Police and the Hancock Sheriff's Office. OFFICER: So, you're coming from Washington State University? MICHAEL KOHBERGER: Yeah. BRYAN KOHBERGER: Yup OFFICER: And you're going where? MICHAEL KOHBERGER: We're gonna be going to Pennsylvania. Both agencies said at the time of the stops, "there was no information available on a suspect for the crime in Idaho, to include identifying information or any specific information related to the license plate state or number of the white Hyundai Elantra …"  Police did not ticket Kohberger; they gave a verbal warning and the trip continued home. And then, Kohberger's holiday came to an abrupt halt .  CBS NEWS REPORT:  A suspect is under arrest for the quadruple murder of four Idaho college students. On Dec. 30, 2022, police made that announcement that Bryan Kohberger was under arrest for the murders. He was arrested at his family's home in Albrightsville, Pa., at 3 a.m., with approximately 50 law enforcement officers on the scene.  MAJ. CHRISTOPHER PARIS | PENNSYLVANIA STATE POLICE: There were multiple windows that were broken I believe to gain access, as well as multiple doors. Authorities believe Bryan Kohberger acted alone. Jason LaBar : Bryan was very shocked by his arrest. … Bryan did not know why they were there, but he was aware of the case in Idaho. Monroe County public defender Jason LaBar represented Kohberger in Pennsylvania as he was awaiting extradition to Idaho. Jason LaBar : Bryan indicated to me that he was eager to be exonerated — that he was willing to go back to Idaho. On Jan. 3, at a hearing in Pennsylvania, Kohberger signed his waiver of extradition. And on Jan. 4, was flown to Idaho, where he is in jail, charged with the four murders. On Jan. 5, Kohberger appeared in court in Moscow with his new public defender to hear the charges read against him. He has yet to enter a plea. JUDGE MEGAN MARSHALL:  The maximum penalty for this offense if you were to plead guilty or be found guilty is death or imprisonment for life. Do you understand?    BRYAN KOHBERGER: Yes. That same day, that affidavit was released that laid out startling new details about the murder investigation. According to the affidavit, one of the surviving roommates actually saw the murderer and stood in a "frozen shock phase."  She is referred to as DM in the affidavit, and told police that earlier, she heard a female voice say, 'something to the effect of  "there's someone here." And later, a male voice say, "something to the effect of "it's ok, I'm going to help you." Later she opened her door "… after she heard crying and saw a figure clad in black clothing and a mask..." She described the figure as "5'10'… with bushy eyebrows." The affidavit states that, according to DM, the male walked toward the back sliding door and DM locked herself in her room. It was later in the morning when that call was made to 911 from one of the surviving roommate's phones, to report an unconscious person. It is unclear what occurred in the hours before police were called. It is believed the murders took place between 4 and 4:25 a.m. Police say they discovered, on the bed in Madison's room, a knife sheath with a Marine insignia. James Gagliano : I would imagine that a — crime scene as — as grisly and ghastly as this one — that there would have been … DNA left by the perpetrator. According to the affidavit, the knife sheath was processed and "the Idaho State Lab later located a single source of male DNA on the button snap."  They were able to link it to DNA recovered from the trash at the Pennsylvania Kohberger family home. It is not clear, what, if any, connection Kohberger had with the victims. However, the affidavit states that by using cellular phone data, police were able to place Kohberger's cell phone near the crime scene "on at least twelve occasions before November 13, 2022. All of those occasions, except for one, occurred in the late evening and early morning hours …" Even with these new details, many question remain. A newly issued gag order prohibits officials and others involved in the case from speaking about the murders. Also, authorities have sealed a search warrant that was carried out at Kohberger's home in Pullman, Washington. Jim Gagliano : This is one where you don't want a mistake. You don't want something to happen during this process that's going to give the alleged suspect an opportunity to beat the case. Now, the case will work its way through the court system as parents, who lost their children, will be looking for answers. Steve Goncalves : We find the truth, you know. You get the truth, and then that — that'll — that'll be everything. IN REMEMBRANCE You can see it in the stunned, silent faces of the kids. Faces that ask "why?" without even speaking.  Young eyes glisten, bathed in the glow of candlelight at a vigil held for the young lives lost.  A ritual all too familiar across America. The flowers, the prayers, the vows to carry on. In Idaho, they hold on tight to each other and to the memories of those loved and lost. EMILY (memorial service): Life is so unfair and unpredictable (crying). For Xana Kernodle's friend Emily, the wound remains raw. EMILY (memorial service): And it tears me apart knowing I can't hug her. (Crying) So hold those you love closer. Hug them a little tighter and tell 'em you love them. We'll find justice for you, Ethan, Maddie, and Kaylee. We love you all so much. And for Ashlin, Maddie Mogen's memory is still vibrant. ASHLIN (memorial service): You truly will live on forever -- not only in my heart, but in the heart of so many people that were impacted by your beautiful smile, your grace, your patience, your open heart, and your craziness. Hunter Johnson remembers a pal he could rely on — Ethan Chapin. HUNTER JOHNSON (memorial service): Ethan was always someone you could count on to make you smile and — cheer up your mood. … And I — feel so lucky to have shared so many great memories with him (emotional). But those who are older perhaps sense that pain that runs this deep, never goes away. Kaylee's father, Steve Goncalves. Steve Goncalves : You don't heal from somethin' like this. … it's never gonna happen. You're never gonna be healed. You're never gonna get through this. And when they die, part of you dies. Steve Goncalves : We're tired of all these types of crimes. We're tired of all this stuff. And — we can rally around these terrible tragedies, and … We're hopin' that as a society we come back stronger. And we — we decide to not let this be accepted anymore, you know. That's what I hope for. Bryan Kohberger's next court appearance is scheduled for Jan. 12. He will have a chance to enter a plea at a later date. Bryan Kohberger "48 Hours" correspondent Peter Van Sant first joined CBS News in 1984. More from CBS News Ex-politician accused in Vegas reporter's murder takes stand 2 guilty in "brutal revenge killings" of man and woman kidnapped in D.C. Kansas mom gets life in prison after toddler fatally shoots 4-year-old sister Another ex-Memphis police officer pleads guilty in Tyre Nichols killing Share full article Advertisement Supported by Idaho Murders: What We Know A man who was studying for a Ph.D. at a nearby university is charged in the stabbing deaths of four University of Idaho undergraduates. Many questions remain. By Mike Baker and Nicholas Bogel-Burroughs Though a suspect has been arrested and charged in the brutal stabbing deaths of four University of Idaho students, a series of mysteries remain about why the victims were targeted and what evidence prosecutors have against the suspect. The police have said the killings took place sometime around 4 a.m. on Nov. 13, 2022, after the victims — Madison Mogen, 21; Kaylee Goncalves, 21; Xana Kernodle, 20; and Ethan Chapin, 20 — had spent a typical Saturday night out near the university campus in Moscow, Idaho. They returned to the house in the early hours of Sunday. In court documents, the police said that a combination of evidence had led them to arrest a suspect, Bryan Kohberger, a Ph.D. student at Washington State University, whose campus is in Pullman, Wash., a few miles west of Moscow. Mr. Kohberger was taken into custody at his parents’ home in Pennsylvania, after the case had remained unsolved for more than six weeks. Chief among that evidence is a leather knife sheath that was left on a bed in one of the two bedrooms where the murders took place. A Moscow police corporal said in an affidavit that DNA was found on the sheath. Prosecutors later said that Mr. Kohberger’s DNA, which was tested after his arrest, proved to be a statistical match. Investigators have said that they used cellphone tower data to track Mr. Kohberger’s phone on the night of the killings, and obtained surveillance video that showed a white vehicle like Mr. Kohberger’s repeatedly circling around the victims’ house that night. Mr. Kohberger has offered an explanation for what he was doing on the night of the killings. In a court filing, his lawyers suggested that he was out “driving alone” around the time that the attack occurred. We are having trouble retrieving the article content. Please enable JavaScript in your browser settings. Thank you for your patience while we verify access. If you are in Reader mode please exit and  log into  your Times account, or  subscribe  for all of The Times. Thank you for your patience while we verify access. Already a subscriber?  Log in . Want all of The Times?  Subscribe . 105 IMAGES My Favourite Sport Essay Example Essay about Sports: Why sports are important? Importance of sports for students essay in 2021 ⇉Paying Student Athletes Turns College Sports Into a Profession Essay My favourite football team essay in 2021 How Sports Affect Academics COMMENTS Applying to College as an Athlete: 10 Important Questions 9. What else should I know about NCAA recruiting rules? The NCAA establishes and enforces strict rules on when and where college coaches can actively recruit you (i.e., when coaches can speak with you on the phone, in person, or on their campus). Every high school athlete should know these rules. College Essay Guy College Essay Guy believes that every student should have access to the tools and guidance necessary to create the best application possible. That's why we're a one-for-one company, which means that for every student who pays for support, we provide free support to a low-income student. Learn more. How to Write a Non-Cliche College Essay About Sports + Examples 2. Use sports to point out broader themes in your life. The main risk when writing about sports is neglecting to write about yourself. Before you get started, think about the main values that you want to express in your sports essay. Sports are simply your avenue for telling the reader what makes you unique. THE PERSONAL STATEMENT A seven-part online course designed to gives students and counselors everything they need to figure out (or help someone else figure out) how to write a personal statement for the Common App. Watch the Q&A sessions after each session where I answer important questions about the personal statement-writing process and give feedback on essays to ... The Best College Essays About Sports STUDENT #2: "I don't play football but I know everything there is to know about the sport. I know the stats, I keep detailed excel documents, and everyone comes to me for fantasy football advice. I watch football every single week with my parents, and have been since I was a child.". This is more common than you'd think. College Essay Guy Hi! I'm Ethan (College Essay Guy) and my goal is to bring more ease, purpose, and joy to the lives of students, parents, and counselors through the college admission process. 🧠 MY UPCOMING ... How To Write a College Application Essay About Sports That's what EVERYBODY does.". The notion that all students who play sports write college essays about their athletic pursuits is simply inaccurate. Last year one our our students, a star football player, wrote about his aptitude for solving puzzles. Another student on the school rowing team wrote about her family's immigration story. 5 College Essay Topics to Avoid (And What to Write About Instead) Join my live How to Write a Personal Statement course this fall: https://www.collegeessayguy.com/how-to-write-a-personal-statementIn this video, Ethan shares... Sports in College Admissions Essays Sports admissions essays are typically entirely predictable. You worked hard, you improved, and you accomplished your goal. You worked really hard to achieve a goal but ultimately came up short. You did your very best in spite of not being very good and you walked away proud. You are an excellent athlete and you use your college admissions ... How to Write a College Essay Step-by-Step Step 2: Pick one of the things you wrote down, flip your paper over, and write it at the top of your paper, like this: This is your thread, or a potential thread. Step 3: Underneath what you wrote down, name 5-6 values you could connect to this. These will serve as the beads of your essay. The College Essay Guy Podcast Practical, up-to-date interviews with experts in college admissions, financial aid, personal statements, test prep and more. I interview deans of admission, ... Bring-Your-Own-Essay: College Essay Guy's Live Essay Review Extravaganza The College Essay Guy Team will provide individual, personalized feedback on as many student essays as we can in 1.5 hours. Expertly-trained CEG essay coaches— with backgrounds in college admissions, counseling, writing, and everything in between— will host Zoom breakout sessions, review student essays, and offer feedback and strategies for all attendees to adapt to their application process. College Essay Guy Brainstorming exercises to help you get excited about digging deep and uncovering your story, then writing it in a way that helps you stand out. ""You're an amazing teacher, and I can feel the passion you have for us. I really appreciate all the work you've done for us. Thanks to you, I've been able to say what I've wanted to say about my ... College Essay Examples Table of contents. Essay 1: Sharing an identity or background through a montage. Essay 2: Overcoming a challenge, a sports injury narrative. Essay 3: Showing the influence of an important person or thing. Other interesting articles. Frequently asked questions about college application essays. How to Write a Successful Common App Activities List in 2024 It's great for developing better content for your activities list. Instructions: Spend 5-8 minutes filling out a BEABIES chart per activity on your list to generate plenty of content for your activities list descriptions. Use the 25 questions below the chart for ideas. The key here is active verbs. I Analyze Two Successful College Essays Join my live How to Write a Personal Statement course: https://www.collegeessayguy.com/how-to-write-a-personal-statementWrite Great Supplemental Essays: http... Yale Class of 1963 50th Reunion Essays The following story will illustrate what I mean. Ian Robertson is a very good friend, and a stalwart of our 50th Reunion effort. Our paths did not cross in college. Recently Ian told me that, during our freshman year, he saw me waiting in line for dinner in Commons, and felt very sorry for me. As soon as Ian said that, I saw myself then as Ian ... Music Schools in Moscow Sports & Recreation: Travel & Transportation: Music Schools in Moscow ... Prepares for entering the college and university (musical departments). Address: Novopestchanaja str., 26 | Phone +7 (495) 198-0421. Education & Employment Arts Schools Dancing Schools Driving Schools Bryan Kohberger: Never-before-seen photos and details about the man The Idaho Student Murders 40:44. Under a dark Idaho sky, investigators flew Bryan Kohberger to the college town of Moscow. Police delivered him to the Latah County Jail. On Jan. 5, in an orange ... 515: Inside the Application Part 1: Brainstorming ... Ethan is joined by Cassidy, a current high school senior who is working on her college applications for the Fall 2025 term. Ethan and Cassidy will be walking step-by-step through the college application process as it unfolds this school year. In episode 1, they get into: How did Cassidy approach brainstorming and outlining for her personal ... Idaho Murders: What We Know By Mike Baker and Nicholas Bogel-Burroughs. June 27, 2024. Though a suspect has been arrested and charged in the brutal stabbing deaths of four University of Idaho students, a series of mysteries ... 27 Outstanding College Essay Examples From Top Universities 2024 This college essay tip is by Abigail McFee, Admissions Counselor for Tufts University and Tufts '17 graduate. 2. Write like a journalist. "Don't bury the lede!" The first few sentences must capture the reader's attention, provide a gist of the story, and give a sense of where the essay is heading. Why This College Essay Guide + Examples The Top Secret Three-Word Trick to Finding Specific Info for Your "Why this College" Essay. Step 2: Organize Your Research. Step 3: Decide on Your Approach: Approach #1: The Basic, Solid "Why this College" Essay That Includes a Bunch of Reasons. Approach #2: The "3-5 Unique Reasons" Strategy. Approach #3: The "One Value" Strategy. assignment essay homework paper phd report resume review speech thesis