what does essay a girl mean

What is a girl? What is girlhood? The answers to these questions are not as straightforward as they might first appear. The word girl appeared in the Middle Age more than 700 years ago. At that time it was written as “gyrle,” meaning a child or a young person of either sex. Since then, the word has taken many forms such as “girle,” “gerle,” and “gurl.” During the fourteenth and fifteenth centuries, the word girl started to refer specifically to a female child, or a young, unmarried woman. From the 1640s, “girl” could also mean “sweetheart.” Stemmed from the word “girl,” girlhood as a word appeared later in the mid-eighteenth century. Since the beginning, it was coined with the reference to the state of being a girl or the childhood of a girl. 

Then, what exactly is the state of being a girl? How do we define it? Definitions of girlhood change and vary widely than ever in nowadays society. We often think of age as the key determinant of girlhood, but even this is more complicated than one might think. When does girlhood end? Does it end with adolescence? When one turns eighteen? Does girlhood extend even until one is in their mid-twenties? Part of what makes defining girlhood so challenging is that age is not the only factor that defines girlhood. It is also a social and cultural construct, meaning that different societies often construct their own unique meaning of girlhood. 

In this exhibit, we worked with girl studies scholars and self-identified girls/women to explore various historical and modern definitions of girlhood. We also look at case studies, particularly from Asia, that are both stereotypically and subversively girl. We  chose to let contributors speak for themselves – our text is minimal and limited to introducing each section.

As you explore, ask yourself: Do you agree with how someone else defines “girl” or “girlhood?” What about your own experiences is similar to or different from experiences found throughout our museum? If you had to be interviewed like this, what would you say?

Education Guide

Use this education guide to interact with the exhibit, gain a deeper understanding of diverse girlhoods, and think about the meaning of gender identities today.  Activities in this guide are aligned to U.S. and/or U.K. educational standards. They are designed to be used by students and teachers as school lessons or enrichment opportunities.

Historically “Girl”

Different conceptions of girlhood have been constructed and changed over time and across cultures. In many cases, definitions of girlhood reflect the shifting political and cultural needs of societies. For example, at the end of the nineteenth century, Egyptian girlhood was often defined by other milestones, like first menstruation or marriage, not just a girl’s age. In early twentieth-century Europe the period of girlhood became longer, as more girls had more access to education. Even now, it becomes more difficult to draw a sharp distinction between girlhood and adulthood, in large part because girls are involved in seemingly adult experiences across the globe, from labor to sex work.

Since each culture has their own definition of girlhood, it is impossible to lump all kinds of girlhood into one definition. We highlighted key examples of both historical and contemporary definitions of girlhood across different time periods and regions for our audience to explore. As illustrated by these diverse definitions, it is clear that, in the midst of social pressures and constraints, girls are constantly developing their own culture to challenge and redefine the concept of girlhood and empower themselves. 

Ancient Greece

Confucian china.

Han Dynasty (202 BC – 220 AD)

Compared with other later dynasties in China, Han girls were relatively free in public life. Girls were welcome to engage in industries such as business, medicine, divination, and performance. Girls from royal families also could be conferred a rank of nobility. For example, Emperor Guangwu once conferred his three granddaughters as “Little State Sovereigns”. However, the Han Dynasty also witnessed that Confucianism affected the cultural construct of girlhood when Confucian moral values, which ​demanded girls to be chaste and obedient, gradually became the mainstream of society.

Ever since Emperor Wu of the Han Dynasty who chose Confucianism as the mainstream philosophy of China, Confucianism-led education began to invade the construct of girlhood. The right to public education became no longer available to girls, and they could only receive family education. Confucianism advocates the idea that women as homemakers are inferior to men who are breadwinner. Therefore, the goal of female education was to instruct a girl to put her heart and soul into supporting the intellectual and professional development of their male relatives-their fathers, brothers, husbands, and sons.

In Western Han Dynasty, Lie Nu Zhuan, a collective biography of female historical figures, introduced girl readers to six types of virtues. Being loving, thoughtful, and chaste were among the most important virtues that girls were expected to possess. Another classic reading for girls was Nv Jie, written by Ban Zhao, a female scholar in the Eastern Han Dynasty. She believed that women should give priority to assisting their husbands. Girlhood became a site to instill the ideology of proper female behaviors, and these values ​​reincarnated into countless moral books and stories for girls of future generations.

Girl Apprentices

Medieval and Early Modern Europe

Girls started working as apprentices at craft workshops at the age of 10 or 11 in many medieval European towns. Especially for girls from poor families, it was typical to leave their parents and home at such an early age to look for employment. When a girl left home for work, she was also breaking the parental control that she had in the domestic space as a young girl. Loosened adult control and increased income often introduced the girl into the transition from girlhood to her adulthood.

However, girl apprentices rarely acquired complete economic independence, or fully transitioned to adulthood in reality. They remained with a special role in the world of work: girl apprentices were seen as labor with ability to learn and provide, meanwhile they were also treated as children who required adult control. For example, in Ireland, girls working in mills and factories usually got a small portion of their wage. The rest of their wage would be directly paid to their families.

Enslaved Girls

16th to 19th century Americas and Europe

In the American South in the decades before the Civil War, there were around one million enslaved girls under the age of 16. Their girlhood was a unique construction where race, age, and gender under slavery had an intertwined influnced on their everyday lives.

In her autobiography, The History of Mary Prince , British abolitionist Mary Prince talked about the hardships that she, as a young enslaved girl, suffered and the brutalities of enslavement. Enslaved girls received harsh punishments similar to those carried out to adults. If they made a mistake when working in cotton or tobacco plantations, they could be whipped brutally. Another mistreatment they frequently faced was sexual exploitation. These abuses, like Mary Prince said, were both physically and emotionally tormenting.

Escaping slavery was of course very difficult, and compared to enslaved boys, enslaved girls had even fewer opportunities to attain freedom. Instead, they learned to fake illness or work slowly to show their resistance. Stories and games also became a way for young people to resist their enslavement. Younger enslaved girls sometimes transformed old games by adding transgressive messages into them. For example, a jumping rope song from enslaved girls went, “My old mistress promised me/Before she dies she would set me free/Now she’s dead and gone to hell/I hope the devil will burn her well.”

Pre-19th century

Before the nineteenth century, girls in India, similar to girls in other parts of the world, were expected to learn and take on housework at an early age. Home school was a popular choice, and the learning content often centered mostly on domestic tasks rather than vocational skills. The definitive moment that marked the end of girlhood was not landing a job or finishing schooling. Rather, most of the time it was marriage that ended girlhood. 

Although the beginning of girls’ puberty was the ostensible milestone of girls’ eligibility to enter into marriage, child marriage was a common phenomenon before 16th century. Rig Veda , the oldest and most important of Hindu holy texts, was cited in a number of nineteenth-century texts. These texts documented that child marriage occurred and intensified with scriptural exhortations’ endorsement of pre-puberty marriage. 

In the 20th century, increased female legal age for marriage successfully expanded the length of girlhood in India. In 2006, the government of India prohibited child marriage. Girls in India are having more control over their own bodies and lives. The rate of child marriage plummeted since then,  but child marriage still exist – there are more underage brides (under 18 years old) in India than any other countries in the world.

Student Girls

18th and 19th century Europe

Should young girls learn to read? This question would generate little controversy today, but it provoked strong debates and negative reactions in Europe before the 18 th and 19 th centuries.

Young girls had access to books in many European countries in the 18th century, especially in the Netherlands, Germany, and England. While some “literary ladies,” or women authors of pedagogical books, and other educationalists encouraged young girls to read and develop their own intellectual interests, this “female curiosity” was regarded as dangerous by many authors in the 19 th century. Even for girls who wanted to read, the options were not very abundant: most books available for girl readers were advice books. 

Instead of reading and developing their intellectual interests, girls were instead encouraged to learn domestic skills. Young girls in middle- and upper-class families usually had the chance to study various academic subjects with tutors and governesses, but this education was simply meant to prepare girls for marriage.  The goal of education was to create the ideal girl who, according to the authors of advice books, would be a delightful and informed companion for her husband. 

Black Girls in Jim Crow South

Late 19th and 20th century

What was it like to grow up as a Southern Black girl under Jim Crow laws that legalized racial segregations in the Southern United States? Witnessing state-sponsored racism and white supremacy, Black girls came to develop and understand their identity under several interwinted forces: gender, race, place, and justice. 

Southern Black girls in this period were seen constantly negotiating two main influences. One was the racialized violence from Jim Crow South. Black girls often found themselves unable to protect their bodies from the violence of white men. At the same time, Black girls were told to be pure, virtuous, and dignified as a way to gain respectability. Black girls’ constant negotiation was revealed in their girlhood. For example, they were not expected to show rebelliousness as an adolescent girl. Instead, they had to learn to be respectable, protect their puriness, and defend themselves against racial violence. Growing up in Jim Crow South, many black girls were motivated to fight for their rights to their own bodies and agency. 

Girls and White Slavery

Pre-World War I in Europe and North America

In the Victorian and Edwardian period, important keywords of girlhood were purity and self-sacrifice. Girlhood was frequently associated with the color white and flowers like lilies and snowdrops. However, the development of suffrage movements in the 20th century (check out our “young suffragettes” exhibition to learn more!) challenged traditional ideas of girls as innocent and angelic. 

Guardians of this “pure, innocent girlhood”, often together with anti-suffragists, insisted on illustrating girlhood as a period where young girls needed male’s protection. They alleged that girls were at the risk of falling prey of white slavers who would force them into prostitution, human trafficking, and sexual salvery. This public anxiety on girls’ safety spread in the UK, Europe, and North America. Girls were often told to be alert to the dangers of being kidnapped by white slavers. 

For feminists, this idea of white slavery deprived young women of their agency. Feminists’ anger over the sexual oppression behind white slavery stories and a desire to remedy it was one factor motivating women to obtain vote. The Western concept of girlhood in this period was thus full of contradictions and shaped different political interests and claims.  Scholars’ studies have shown that most of these stories about white slavery were rumors, but the image of girls as sexual victims endures even to the present day. 

“It” Girl

Early 20th Century

Since the 1980s, “It” girl has been perceived as an attractive girl who flaunts her sex allure and strongly associated with celebrity, fame, and beauty. The earlier definition of an “It” girl in the early 20 th century was different. “It” girl then referred to a girl who achieved popularity and fame, but without advertising her sexuality.

The first and original “It Girl” was one of the most successful and popular silent film stars, Clara Bow. With her big eyes and babyface, Clara quickly won the love of America. For the audience, what was more engaging than her physical beauty on the screen was her non-traditional personality. She was cheerful, breezy, confident and lively. Her hit changed the previous perception of girls and girlhood: the public became not only more accustomed to modern young women having active career development outside home, but also comfortable with the increased diversity of girls’ sexual expressions. Meanwhile, early debates on girls’ acquiring sexual knowledge were also going to start.

Flappers & Ms. Modern

Between the period of the First and Second World Wars, girlhood became a site where social debates on young women’s appearance, habits, and sexualities took place. “Miss Modern”, a girl who was determined to cast  aside conventional ideas of femininity, went on the stage.

While cutting hair was seen as incredibly offensive to the established values about girlhood and femininity in the Victorian and Edwardian era, Miss Modern enthusiastically took short hair into fashion trends. They also generously brought cheap cosmetics and giddy clothes back to their home. They consumed cigarettes, music, and alcohol. They went dancing, singing, also biking and camping. They were also called flappers. Their habits – especially seeking sexual pleasure – somehow fed the imagination of the public. In turn, they were portrayed as man-hungry girls with “easy virtue”.

Through the 1920s, girl workers also occupied a large amount of newspaper coverage when they entered into new professions such as aviators and engineers. Young women, by challenging the male-dominant hierarchy in both the job market and traditional girlhood image, started to jauntily rewrite the definition of girlhood and femininity by themselves. Birth control and contraception aides became more available during the two World Wars. Easier access to them benefited girls to make decisions on their own body. Miss Modern’s girlhood might be perceived as wild, rebel, or even dangerous by some, but she was also able to keep sensible and practical.

Good-Time Girls

In the mid-1930s, “good-time girls” came into the public sight. They were described as similar girls with the earlier Miss Modern. Both good-time girls and Miss Modern were fond of cheap cosmetics, perfume and fashionable clothes. They watched a lot of Hollywood movies and often dreamed about fame and luxury. 

If Miss Modern’s pursuit for economic and personality independence somehow earned them a reputation, good-time girls became almost like a folk devil in the eyes of the public, who criticized young women for their pleasure seeking and consumption. It was a period when liberal attitudes toward female sexuality suffered backlash. The portrayals of good-time girls, often frivolous and cunning girls preying on soldiers for favors, uneased the society so much that criticism of young girls’ sexuality increased and lasted. 

From the mid-1930s, the moral panic over good-time girls and girlhood in Europe and North America continued into the post-war period. Girls’ appearance, makeup, clothing, and sexualities were carefully vetted by the public again and again. However, girls also proved that the real situation could be very different from the public imagination that they were victims of “being loose or seduced”: some of them actively sought a chance to transition the romantic experience to livelihood; some genuinely relished the lifestyle of partying.

Patriotic Girls in Arab Nationalism

circa 1900-1950, Arab countries

At the beginning of the 20th century, Arab nationalism rose with the goals of eliminating the influence of the West in the Arab world. Because Arab nationalism identified women as the “bearers of the nation”, anti-colonial movements gradually became a platform that provided girls with a potential new way of publicly expressing themselves, even though this way was limited and not free.

In traditional Islamic societies, girls only took on a reproductive role as care-takers in a family. But anti-colonial movements recognized girls as home-front warriors. In other words, girlhood somewhat broke away from the traditional hideout from public gaze, and it gained increased meaning and social value with girls in anti-colonial movements. In Iraq, the youth movement al-Futuwwa saw girls as future patriotic mothers and caregivers. Using al-Futuwwa as a public platform, more and more girls participated in national, political discussion and made their voice heard. In Egypt, the political participation of women from all walks of life had affected the changes in Egypt’s political situation to a certain extent. By participating in demonstrations, strikes and even assassinations, Egyptian girls supported the Egyptian nationalist party, the Wafd Party, and the country’s independence movement.

As the society started to support their political role, Arab girls, too, shouldered national responsibility in this time period. After having achieved independence, Arab girls would step into the next period of their journey: fighting for their rights as citizens and developing the new Islamic feminism.

College Girls

20th century

As time goes, girls have gained increased access to education. Apprenticeship and home education become less and less popular options. Instead, public schools and colleges welcomed more and more girls. With new ideas on girls’ education, girlhood also became a distinctive, separate period between childhood and adulthood with increased social publicity.

One of education’s functions in separating childhood and adulthood was extending girlhood. Although girls would still be supervised by house wardens and academic supervisors, their time spent in school, especially in colleges, has significantly prolonged the girlhood before stepping into adulthood. For many girls, the abundant academic resources that colleges offered equipped them knowledge to prepare better before stepping into the adult world. For some, entering into colleges meant delayed marital age, which, in turn, implied more independent girlhood time on their own. For example, for Dutch Afrikaner South African girls in the early 20th century, being a “college girl” promised having a carefree time to get aways with “adult responsibilities” and go for glowing college adventures.

Beatlemania

1950s and 1960s

In the 1960s, mainstream voices in the English society hoped to protect the sexual purity of young people. They constantly advocated a happy life after marriage, implying that girls should shun away from sex before getting married. However, girls at this time were far different from Victorian girls. They grew up with easy access to public secondary education. A lot of them had jobs and were financially independent. As new girls, they were also consumers with strong spending power. They were eager to break free from the shackles of society on youth’s and women’s sexuality.

During this period, pop, rock and jazz music won countless girls’ love, together with many conservatives’ aversion. While girls sought pleasure and empowerment from modern music, the latter saw them allures of leading girls to go off the rails. The Beatles took this tension to a new stage: so many girls were obsessed with this band that many of them spent money and publicly confessed to them. This intense fan frenzy, which was also called beatlemania, was actually an unprecedented open expression of desire from female groups. When society contemptuously, or aggrievedly, called these beat girls as fangirls with no brains, did it ever cross their mind that beatlemania could be an outcry from the girls who challenged societal oppression on teenage girls’ sexuality?

Nütongzhi

1960s to 1990s, Taiwan

Nütongzhi (Chinese: 女同志) is a Taiwanese term referring to lesbians. Nütongzhi were generally divided into “T” and “P”. Interestingly, this categorization of T/P was started by Taiwanese gar bar owners. Before 1985 when the first lesbian bar in Taiwan opened, gay bars were the only place where Nütongzhi could hang out with their partner without being judged for their sexual orientations. 

“T” refers to those girls who came to gay bars with short hairs and tomboyish outfits. They often have classic masculine personality traits, such as assertive and competitive. “T”’s partner, who usually seem more feminine than T, is called P or Po (Chinese: 婆, meaning wife). Before 1990s when feminism and gay movement evolved in Taiwan, T and P played a very important role to define a girl in Nütongzhi community. Apart from T and P, some Nütongzhi prefer calling themselves Bu Fen (Chinese: 不分, meaning not applicable), to claim that they identify themselves as neither T nor P. Bu Fen rejected to label themselves and fall into the traps of gender stereotypes. 

With the widespread spread of the Internet and the increasing appearance of other identity names such as transgender and bisexuality, the self-recognition of the younger generation of lesbians has become increasingly diverse. This means that they will experience more and more complex progress when establishing self-identity. Growing up, they constantly try to learn, conform to, or even deviate from diverse identity categories such as T, P, Bu Fen, Nütongzhi, etc.

How far is too far for feminism to go? When Miss Modern and flappers came on stage in the 1920s and 30s, moral panic surfaced with a blizzard of criticism that girls had gone too far. So did it happen when girls broke down more and more gender stereotypes in the 1970s. So did it happen again when girl power rose up and ladettes dominated newspaper headlines in the 1990s. 

Who were ladettes? They had many labels: noisy, confident, boyish. They drank too much. They took their clothes off without scruple. They enjoyed traditionally masculine sports. In a word, they were the girl version of “traditional” men who boozed, boasted, and sometimes behaved vulgarly. The conservatives criticized them that they strayed too far no matter from the traditional ideal of woman or from a new, independent woman. 

But has feminism, or ladettes, gone too far? Ladettes only demonstrated the flipped-over version of the old, binary gender norms where active boys lead, quiet girls follow. When girls behave completely like a lad, this became a whole new story about girlhood. Girls were making their own decisions, taking up space that was traditionally solely preserved for men, and demanding more and more true equality.

Early 2000s

Tween is a blend of between and teen , but exclusively refers to teenage girls. The age range of tween is blurry, with the common reference to 8-13 years. As an age category, tween emphasizes on the time period between a girl’s childhood and puberty. She is too old for toys and games, but too young for boys and sex. 

It’s rather easy to detect that tweenhood becomes a new idealized period of girlhood: tweens are described as (mostly) white, beautiful, and innocent. They should not be sexualized and commodified. This idealization seems like a social projection of the idea that young girls are fragile and constantly need protection. On the other hand, tweens are also a specific group of girls that corporates and consumerism often market at. Clothes, magazines, dolls often brand themselves as tween’s perfect choice to catch up with fashion trends. Such marketing reflects that tweens, as young girls, constitute consumers with spending power who make their own purchase choices. Having such a contradictory status, tween girls continue to navigate their identity under the influence of social ethos, feminism, and consumer culture.

Migrant Girls

20th and 21st century

With the advent of modern society and technological progress, migration, whether it happens voluntarily or involuntarily, has become more possible and more frequent than ever. Consequently, the group of migrated girls are growing and receiving increased attention. However, it’s impossible to generalize their experience: race, class, even familial control, so many factors can profoundly shape a migrated girl’s girlhood. If anything, the keyword of their experience might be identity negotiation. 

Many migrated girls found that the migration was such a radical change to their life that their original identity became incompatible with the new environment after moving. In order to “fit in”, or at least get used to the new life, negotiating between the old and new identities became a common theme of their girlhood. Some migrated girls negotiated “street” and “decent” cultures in a dynamic, vibrant setting. Some tried to understand the difference between a new culture and their own. For example, immigrant girls and refugee girls in Western countries are often educated based on ideas of ideal Wesetern girlhood. Representations of girlhood of their culture, or simply representation of a migrated girlhood, are not abundant.

Harajuku Girls in “Cool Japan”

2002 to Present

Japanese Ministry of Foreign Affairs launched their concept of “Cool Japan” in 2002, aiming to brand and export Japanese soft cultural superpower. The Cool Japan project focused specifically on youth culture where girl culture was an integral part. Typical girls in Cool Japan flyers and campaigns are easy to recognize: school girls, girls with kimono, etc. These images overlap a lot with popular girl characters in otaku culture. They conformed to conventional femininity norms with acceptive girl sexiness. 

“Harajuku style” is one of the most well-known styles that became an epitome of “Cool Japan”. Girls in Harajuku style mix traditional Japanese clothing with Western attire to create a unique, dazzling, colorful outfit. With traditional Japanese clothes, girls seem to conform to and maintain a traditional image of girlhood. But by mixing totally different styles of clothing, Harajuku style girls signal that their contempt for mainstream fashion – they dress whatever they wish and declare their self-expression and enjoy girl culture without being judged.

Indigenous Girls in the West

21st Century

Colonial practices have affected Indigneous girls for centuries–and continue to influence  their lives today. In residential schools,  white settlers tried to impose white, European, and Christian gender roles on Indigenous communities. They also imposed binary notions, such as white/others and “civilized” and /”primitive” on Indigenous society. 

Today their lives are shaped by things, such as treaty rights, colonial gender policies, and cultural and territorial decolonization. For example, in Canada, Indigenous girls suffered long-term discriminatory treatments, including the Indian Act and residential schools, and these issues are finally receiving some attention. However, compared with settler girls who frequently appear in the public eye, Indigenous girls and their experiences are not often discussed. In face of systemic racialized colonialism, Indigenous girls were constantly seen as “others” who are excluded from the Western notions of girlhood girlhood. Nowadays, Indigenous girls also have to fight against romanticization or representations that portray them as drunk, passive, or foreign. After centuries of colonization, oppression, and forced assimilation, many Indigenous girls struggle to reconnect with values and cultural practices of Indigenous communities. Their rejection of being victimized or misrepresented shapes Indigenous girlhood today.

Gender: Social Construct, Dyke March in Dolores Park. Photo by Steve Rhodes via Flickr.

“girl” as a social construct.

Who decides what a “girl” is? Generally speaking, society. But society’s definitions have varied, as we’ve already seen. So why do definitions change over time?

The social construction of gender theory is a way to research and frame these definitions. The theory emerges from social constructivism, a school of thought which proposes that everything people “know” or see as “reality” is partially, if not entirely, socially situated. This means that our definitions are based on the beliefs and reactions of those around us – people in our society. 

According to Lumen Learning , “A social constructionist view of gender looks beyond categories and examines the intersections of multiple identities and the blurring of the boundaries between essentialist categories. This is especially true with regards to categories of male and female, which are viewed typically as binary and opposite. Social constructionism seeks to blur the binary and muddle these two categories, which are so frequently presumed to be essential.”

Exploring this, we interviewed girl studies scholars about how they define and study girlhood. Click the toggles below to reveal their answers.

How would you define ‘girlhood’? Do you have any anecdotes which you believe summarize girlhood?

Linda Arnell: The word or category of ‘girl’ has various meanings, but is often related to a child of a specific gender and age, and most commonly as a term defining adolescent females. However, I also understand it as a social (western) construction, and the way in which the term girl is given meaning is also intertwined with notions of ability, ethnicity, sexuality, and class, etc. When conducting research, my perspective on the category of girl includes everyone who identifies as such, regardless of the sex assigned at birth, even though I often include an age limit related to ideas of childhood, adolescence, youth, or what it means to be a child or to be young.   The word or category of ‘girl’ has various meanings, but is often related to a child of a specific gender and age, and most commonly as a term defining adolescent females. However, I also understand it as a social (western) construction, and the way in which the term girl is given meaning is also intertwined with notions of ability, ethnicity, sexuality, and class, etc. When conducting research, my perspective on the category of girl includes everyone who identifies as such, regardless of the sex assigned at birth, even though I often include an age limit related to ideas of childhood, adolescence, youth, or what it means to be a child or to be young.

Anastasia Todd: In my work on disabled girlhood, I mostly define girlhood in terms of what it is not. Girlhood is not a “common-sense” ahistorical, static, biological “life-stage.” But rather, it is a shifting category of analysis that is constituted through and by systems and relations of power. Another way I like to think of girlhood (as I do disability) is as an assemblage, not just as an attribute of a body. Notwithstanding the academic definition, I think girlhood means many different things to many different girls. Reflecting on my own girlhood, which was very privileged in many ways, I mostly think back to feelings of anxiety, joy, discovery, desire, belonging, and exclusion. My newest streaming television obsession has been the show PEN15, which I believe does an excellent job capturing and relaying some of my own affective experiences of girlhood, as a millennial growing up in the United States.

Anghara N. Valdivia: This is a huge question. So much history and theory. At its core “girlhood” is a privilege, as very few people in the world have the luxury of living through a “girlhood.” It is a gendered category that is also age specific—somewhere after infancy through the end of adolescence. Clearly patriarchal cultures use the term “girl” to refer to a wide range of ages—sometimes even middle age or elderly women. Ideally, girlhood encompasses solidarity, mutuality, creativity, and learning to have agency in the world as a gendered, aged, racialized and classed subject. There are multiple and competing girlhoods.

Ann Smith: For me girlhood is the state of being a girl, cisgender, self-identified, trans non/binary, lesbian, queer etc.  Typically, girls are aged 18 and under.

Sneha Krishnan: Girlhood is fluid – while sociologists might define it as a time ‘before’ adulthood, ‘girl’ subjectivities have been used by women and children in various ways to play with time. Between 2012 and 2013 I did ethnographic research at a hostel – boarding house – for girls in Southern India. The young woman who lived in this hostel were all university students, roughly between the ages of eighteen and twenty-two. In legal terms they were ‘adults’. But they all called themselves ‘girls’. As I learned, being ‘girls’ allowed them to keep one foot in a child world of playfulness and fantasy: the things they did in their ‘girlhood’ didn’t really count, I was told. Nothing was serious. So ‘girlhood’ was a way of inhabiting what Saidiya Hartman has called ‘waywardness’ – openness to radical possibilities beyond the narrow horizons dictated by social circumstance.

Jennifer Helgren:   I think it is important to separate girl and girlhood, child and childhood, boy and boyhood. Girl refers to actual girl children whereas girlhood refers to the constellation of ideas that describe the expectations, norms, and attributes associated with female children in a given society. We must recognize as a girl any child who identifies as a girl even when their family and community do not accord them this recognition.  My own research has focused heavily on girls’ organizations. I see these mainstream, popular, and, in many ways, prescriptive organizations as crucial to forming modern concepts of girlhood. Their leaders develop programs that speak to the culture’s beliefs about what girls are like. Girls responded with varying degrees of receptivity, which, in turn, shaped the trajectory of the organizations.

Louise Jackson: I define ‘girlhood’ as a shared identity, culture and sense of community that is created by girls themselves – although of course it has also been created for them by others (including by adults). As a historian (of gender, youth and childhood) I love reading The Girl’s Own Paper – published in the UK from 1880 right through to 1956 – and looking for girls’ own voices. Its readers were encouraged to send in essays, letters and other contributions on topics that mattered to them. In 1882 Bertha Mary Jenkinson, aged 14 year and 7 months, was so concerned about a previous article, which described higher education as wasted on girls, that she wrote a spirited letter to the editor. She argued: ‘a woman’s education must go on all her life exactly the same as a man’s .… Unless a woman is educated she certainly cannot be his equal or companion’. Equal access to education for girls remains crucial in the world today.

Marnina Gonick: My definition of girlhood would be to resist any singular definition. Definitions can be  dangerous, because to define is to create borders around an idea. As a result, there are always exclusions. I think girlhood should be seen as an expansive category with porous boundaries. Instead of defining girlhood as a biological or temporal feature, I think it is necessary to understand it as a cultural and social phenomenon that is constantly in flux. We need to use an intersectional analysis, that is one that takes into account how gender and age intersect with other social markers such as race, class, nationality, ability, sexuality etc. Girlhood is an “idea” that has material effects on how childhood is understood and lived, how gender is created and experienced and how identities are fashioned. Each of these (childhood, gender and identity) are a relationship to the “idea” of girl, which is never fully achievable.

Mary Celeste Kearney:   I define “girlhood” in several ways: 1) as the subjective experiences of those who identify as “girls”; 2) as the period in life one identifies as “girl”; and 3) as the discursive construct used by social institutions and individuals to categorize those deemed young and female/feminine, which is commonly performed and reconstructed by those who identify as “girl.”  I tend to define “girl” via demographic categories and based on the combination of gender, age, and status of financial dependency—so, those people who identify as female/feminine and young who are still financially dependent on their parents or guardians.  Typically, this means female/feminine youth between the ages of 0-18, whether cisgender or trans. That said, historically “girl” has also been used to refer to young women older than 18, and it still is.  Indeed, the term “girl” is often used among women of all ages when they are in women-only groups, as well as by many gay and bisexual men in relation to the feminine members of their groups. The fluid use of “girl” across these various social groups points to lack of one essential meaning as well as its relationship to the social construction of identity.  As I wrote in my 2009 article, “Coalescing,” which focuses on the development of girlhood studies as an academic field: “[T]here are many ways to be a girl, and these forms depend on not only the material bodies performing girlhood, but also the specific social and historical contexts in which those bodies are located” (19).

How do you think globalization has affected how we define girlhood?

Linda Arnell: Firstly, I think that girls around the world, with the help of technology and the internet, have had the opportunity to share their experiences, opinions, and life situations with others in other parts of the world. We can also see how girls’ voices and activism have had a global impact in ways that have not been possible before, but, at the same time, girls are also affected by the negative consequences of globalization in various ways. Furthermore, I think that the effects of globalization have influenced girlhood scholars to broaden their perspectives and to look beyond their own context and understandings of girlhood. I hope that globalization, in this sense, will contribute with dialogues and knowledge that transgress national borders.

Anastasia Todd: Being attuned to globalization helps to decenter white, Western girlhood as the universal frame for studying “girlhood.” An engagement with transnational feminism allows us to think more thoroughly about how neoliberal capitalism has structured the realities of girls across the world in different and similar ways.

Angharad N. Valdivia: This is a weird question. Clearly the study of girlhood has to be specific. We cannot generalize from the US/Anglo situation to the rest of the world. Hopefully all girlhood scholars acknowledge this. Contemporarily there are such visible girls on the world arena—Malala, Greta, etc.—that we need to understand how it is that their visibility is being constructed. We also need to acknowledge that certain girls are rendered more visible than others. For example, many indigenous girls have been speaking for years about environmental degradation, yet Greta captures the global imagination. Issues of class, race and nation are important. “Globalization” means different things to different people. If we define it as the contemporary flow of people, culture, and goods across nations, we have to acknowledge uneven power distributions, enduring colonial vestiges, etc.

Ann Smith: It has broadened our understanding of what constitutes girlhood in different countries and cultures.

Sneha Krishnan: I think it would be a mistake to see the present moment of globalisation as exceptional. As above, I think the ways in which it defines girlhood (as racialised, as vulnerable, and within other geopolitical stories about modernity, civilisation and rescue) all have a much deeper history in the story of imperialism. So I think historic globalisation – in this I’m referring to imperialism that began in the late 15th century – has profoundly shaped and indeed created the conditions under which ‘girlhood’ as a category makes sense.

Jennifer Helgren: Globalization has brought increased attention and resources to girls’ education and to microeconomic projects for young women around the world. We see that, for example, in the Girl Effect—an independent nonprofit launched in September 2015 by Nike Foundation, in collaboration with the NoVo Foundation, United Nations Foundation, and others. Its goal is to end poverty globally by funding girls’ education, health, and other opportunities. It is based on a belief that girls’ successes lift their countries out of poverty. The unstated reverse, however, puts an incredible burden on girls–girls who have sex or marry early mires their countries in ongoing distress and hardship. So new attention is going to girlhood but some of our normative framings of girls as either ideal citizens and saviors or as delinquents who undermine through their sexual choices remain stuck in place.

Louise Jackson: It’s crucial to think in a global (as well as longitudinal) context and to recognise that what it means to be a girl is both geographically and historically specific. Access to rights has been structured through ideas about age as well as gender, and the age at which one is deemed to be a girl or woman depends on the contours of where and when. There is no universal experience of ‘girlhood’ given that race, ethnicity, and access to resources profoundly shape life-chances and the sharing of identity.

Marnina Gonick: I think there are two contradictory movements involved in the relationship between globalization and girlhood. On the one hand, globalization has allowed us to see how the concept of girlhood varies in different social and geographic locations. This gives weight to the idea of girlhood as something that is socially constructed in alignment with economic, cultural and regional factors. On the other hand, globalization has also brought a homogenizing factor to notions of girlhood.  With the circulation of American popular culture, through TV, movies and music there is an increasingly narrowing of discourses around girlhood which puts limitations on how the concept is understood and lived.

Mary Celeste Kearney:  Great question and one all girls’ studies scholars should think more about. I know I do!  The concept of girlhood has long been tied to capitalism, as girls are understood as a lucrative consumer market. Originally that was because girls grow into women, and the assumption was that all women become mothers who make purchases on behalf of their own families. So if advertisers and manufacturers could solidify girls’ brand loyalties early on, those companies would have assured consumers for life. Yet since the mid 1930s, in the United States at least, there’s been a recognition that girls want to consume products made just for them and their needs, and so the girl consumer market was born. This has happened at different times in different countries, but the United States has been a major player in globalization as a result of its power in the world and capitalist values, as well as its production and distribution of media.  Globalization has led to a more universal sense of girlhood, although it is one that has been based on the most privileged girls in the U.S. and other Western societies. (Check out the history of the Barbie doll made for different countries.) It remains to be seen how much other countries can resist the West’s—and more specifically, the United States’—definition of girlhood by producing their own girl-centered media and other forms of culture.  Japan comes to mind as a nation with a very strong girl culture that has impacted not only other Asian countries, but also those in the West (think of Hello Kitty, manga, anime, etc.).

Would you describe girlhood as a construct (social or other)? Please explain.

Linda Arnell: Yes, one way to understand girlhood is to approach it as a social and/or cultural construction, intertwined with notions, not only of gender and age, but also aspects like ability, ethnicity, sexuality, and class, etc. But for me it is also important to understand girlhood as a lived experience, thus affecting the lives of girls every day.

Anastasia Todd: I think that girlhood is both a construct as well as a material-affective reality. Girlhood has meant many different things in many different historical, political, social, and geographic contexts. This doesn’t mean that girlhood is not “real” per se, it just means that the way we conceptualize girlhood changes. By thinking about how girlhood is constructed, it calls attention to the fact that there is not just one universal experience of girlhood. It is important that we think intersectionally and transnationally about girlhood. Not all girls are figured as innocent or in need of protection, for example. Certain girls, by virtue of their race, class, ability, citizenship, etc. experience the world in vastly different ways than the white, Western girl that populates many of our imaginaries as “the Girl.”

Angharad N. Valdivia: Of course it’s a social construction—as is gender and this is gendered category. Nonetheless it bears actual political consequences, resource allocations, and explanatory power.

Ann Smith: In some contexts girlhood is a socially controlling construct. For example, in some cultures girlhood ends only with marriage regardless of the age of the girl or woman concerned. Thinking of an adult woman as a girl leads to treating her as a child.

Sneha Krishnan:   Yes – girlhood is a historical and social construct. Like other categories of gendered subjectivity, it is performative: in that it is produced by the repeated ‘doing’ of girlhood in the clothes girls wear, in how they hold their bodies, and how they talk, and walk and what they do with their time. All societies didn’t always have a concept of ‘girlhood’ or if they did, its meanings have varied very widely over time. For instance, in the early 20th century, the legal age of consent for married women in most parts of the world was somewhere in their mid-teens at the latest. This would be considered very young these days. Similarly, for instance, black and white girls were not attributed with the same attributes of innocence and fragility in the US in the late 19th century.  Black girls were widely seen as lacking the capacity to feel – as insensate – and hence incapable of reform and self-development. On the contrary, white girls were seen as pure and innocent: figures at the heart of national culture and the fantasy of the American family.

Jennifer Helgren: Girlhood is both a biological phenomenon and a social construct. As a historian, I see girlhood taking on different meanings at different periods. That is what a social construct does. Moreover, girlhood among different ethnic, racial, and class groups has had different associations and meanings. Therefore, girlhood is a social construct that intersects with various other identities.

Louise Jackson: Yes. ‘Girlhood’ – what it means to be a girl – is shaped through culture.

Marnina Gonick: Yes, as my answers above indicate – I think girlhood is a construct with real material effects. This idea comes from a broader field of study of the theoretical body of work that suggests that all identities are created within social contexts that shape the meanings of these identities.

Mary Celeste Kearney: Yes, that’s what I was getting to in my definitions of “girl” and “girlhood” in the prior question.

To what extent is the definition of girlhood constructed through inclusivity and plurality?

Linda Arnell:  To achieve plurality and inclusivity when defining girlhood, today’s notions of the category ‘girl’ need to be discussed, and may be also reconstructed and broadened in various ways. I hope that girlhood scholars will take the opportunity to be part of this, to advocate for greater inclusion, and discuss and question notions of, for example, femininity and age that constrain and limit people from living their lives on equal terms. I also hope for this change not only to be one of definition, but also one of social change, questioning the social, political, and power structures.

Lillemor, one of the girls participating in my research on girls’ violence, gives one example of how social norms, and notions of gender, affect the lives of girls:

Lillemor: I think it’s really sad, not because it should be okay for girls to fight, because it’s not okay to fight, but it’s stupid that it’s seen as something special, as if it’s not special if guys fight, because it’s like girls have to behave in a certain way, but guys can behave any way they want. Linda: And what’s in a certain way then? Lillemor: We shouldn’t fight, and we shouldn’t be loud, and we shouldn’t sleep around, and we shouldn’t do anything like that. Linda: How are you supposed to behave then? Lillemor: Yeah, we have to be nice and perform in school and we can’t fight. I don’t know, we should just be like this stereotypical girl, we’re not supposed to be seen or heard, and we’re not supposed to be violent, but nor should boys.

Anastasia Todd: I think for many people, girlhood is imagined in a very rigid and “common-sense” way. I would say scholars of girlhood are trying to push folks to reconsider girlhood as something that does not just signify “women in training” or is conceptualized strictly in terms of age (under 18). For many of us who do work on marginalized girlhoods, I think we attempt to conceptualize girlhood in an increasingly capacious way. In my own work, I try to attend to the materiality of the body as well as recognize how interlocking systems of oppression structure girls’ lives in asymmetrical ways.

Angharad N. Valdivia: It all depends. There is no one definition. Undoubtedly, like so many other constructs, and as is Liberal Feminism, the bulk of attention has been on white, middle class, cis-gendered girls from the Global North. However there is also great productivity in inclusive research.

Sneha Krishnan: ‘Girlhood’ has historically been a troubled category. And it has been a category riven with histories of race and class exclusion. But ‘girlhood’ has also been claimed by those on the margins of this category as a site from which to inhabit a radical politics of gender.

Jennifer Helgren: One of the expectations of mainstream educators in the twentieth-century United States was that the ideal girl citizen was tolerant and accepted inclusivity. The youth organizations that I study all offered up some version of this model, especially after World War II. Still, the clubs were set up through neighborhoods, schools, and churches, all of which were by custom or law segregated. Girls’ leaders sought to avoid controversy and played down their own political role by accepting local policies regarding segregation. This meant that they accepted the formation of groups, in most regions of the U.S., along segregated lines. At the same time, girls’ organizations regularly used a universalizing language to describe girlhood that obscured the realities of how white supremacy structured daily lives.

Louise Jackson:  As a normative goal or intervention in the world today, then yes – but we have to work hard to ensure this is always the case.  If you’re referring to ‘girlhood’ as a term that has been used to describe groups in the past (and thus as a label placed on girls by others), then we need to be attentive to the power dynamics at play. For example, preconceived assumptions about class and sexual status in nineteenth-century Britain were used to deny some girls the protection accorded to others.

Marnina Gonick: I think it depends on the context.  In some contexts there has been a lot of progress in expanding representations of girlhood.  While in others, the dominant version of white, middle class, heterosexual, cis gendered girlhood is still firmly implanted. I also see that progress is not linear. Where there are advancements there are also retreats. This is an issue that requires on-going work and effort.

Mary Celeste Kearney: That depends on who’s defining girlhood! Many white people, girls’ studies scholars, included have been remiss on not paying attention to the many categories of identity that intersect with gender with regard to both girls and girlhood. And girlhood studies has been dominated by white scholars for a long time, so we have not been as attentive to diversity, plurality, and inclusivity as we should have been.  Fortunately, more research by indigenous scholars, scholars of color, queer scholars, and disabled scholars is bringing light to the many different ways girlhood is constructed in relation to the various categories of identity that intersect with gender and age. And that work has challenged white scholars to engage in those issues as well.

Lolita dresses at New York Fashion Week 2016. Image via Vogue magazine.

Case study: lolita fashion.

Lolita fashion originated in 1970s Japan, influenced by the clothing of the late-Victorian period and having heavy elements of Rococo, Baroque, and Gothic styles. Some of the common elements consist of lace, bows, embroidery, corsets, and underskirts. Fantasy or “otherworldly” literature such as Alice in Wonderland also play a huge role in Lolita fashion. While many of its detractors say that Lolita has a direct link with the controversial 1950s novel of the same name (which details a young girl and older man’s relationship), the name itself does not have a direct link to the book and many modern Japanese are not familiar with it at all. Indeed, while Lolita subculture does emphasize kawaii  femininity and acting like a playful child, it is a genre rooted in the growing economy of Japanese society and many Japanese women participate in the subculture as more of a fashion statement.  Lolita dresses can be divided into three categories: sweet, gothic, and classic. A lot of the dresses express the aesthetic of femininity, cuteness, and refinement. Lolita culture became more widespread in Japan in the 1990s, becoming a worldwide phenomenon by the 2000s. It spread to neighboring countries like China and South Korea around 2000. In 2016, model and president of the Japan Lolita Association, Misako Aoki, appeared on stage presenting a Lolita dress during the New York Fashion Week. Increasingly, due to the internet and social media presence, Lolita “tea parties” and “dress rehearsals” are being held worldwide and attract a cult following. While Lolita dresses can be a type of “girl” expression, it is not the only reason why many Lolita enthusiasts wear them. Both men and women nowadays are using Lolita fashion to express themselves and enjoy the feeling the dresses bring to them.

Decora and Gothic Lolita Fashion

In this episode of Girlspeak , Dr. Megan C. Rose talks with guests Kurebayashi and Rei about decora and gothic Lolita fashion in Harajuku. From discussing the rise of these fashions as distinct Japanese social phenomena to building a cafe that appeals to decora and gothic Lolita audiences, our guests provide unique insights into these subcultures and how girls participate within them.

About Our Guests

  Dr. Megan C. Rose   is an Adjunct Associate Lectuerer in Sociology and Social Science and Policy at the University of New South Wales in Sydney, Australia. Her research explores the value of creativity, cute theory, critical femininities and inclusion. She is currently investigating the experiences of kawaii and gothic alternative communities in Japan, as well as marginalised groups in the Australian Higher Education system. Megan is currently developing a new portfolio of postdoctoral research that involves collaboration and co-authorship with stakeholders in kawaii and gothic alternative communities, as well as a study of feminist activism that uses kawaii imagery to mobilize political actors.

Haruka Kurebayashi is an internationally known model and mentor for Decora-chan girls via her   blog ,   Instagram ,   Twitter , and   YouTube . Originally from Shizuoka prefecture, Kurebayashi launched her brand 90884 in 2013 and is a frequent model for fashion magazine KERA .

Rei Saionji   is a Tokyo native and explorer of Japanese culture and tradition. She is the author of 2 Hours Drive from Tokyo .

Case Study: Chinese Girl Groups

The Chinese music industry in the 2000s saw an increase of girl groups. One of the most prominent groups of the genre, S.H.E, formed in 2001 in Taiwan. They quickly gained popularity with the release of their first album, Girl’s Dorm.  In the next decade, they became an iconic girl group with a huge fanbase in Taiwan and mainland China. S.H.E consists of three singers: Selina Jen, Hebe Tian, and Ella Chen. Their personalities are distinct and many audiences find their mannerisms very natural. Their songs talk about different experiences and emotions that girls will face in their lifetime, as such the majority of their fans are girls because their songs are so relatable. A lot of their songs, such as “Are You Alright,” “Magical Journey,” and “Keep Smiling” talk about the friendships between females. Others, such as “Shero” and “A Girl Striving to be Independent” encourage girls to be strong and independent. Due to S.H.E.’s influence, many other girl groups formed around this time. For example, Twins is a Hong Kongese girl group created in 2001 consisting of Gillian Chung and Charlene Choi. Because many of their notable songs deal with school life, they became the representative for all female students dealing with certain issues.

S.H.E. is a Taiwan group formed by three girls with their first debuted album “Girls Dorm” 女生宿舍 in September 2001

Gender today.

For this exhibit, we chose a broad definition of “girl” that attempts to include both modern and historical definitions of childhood: “self-identifying females under the age of 21.” It is the same definition that Tiffany uses in her edited volume, A Girl Can Do: Recognizing and Representing Girlhood (Vernon Press, 2022) . Open the toggle below for her explanation.

Our Definition, Explained

First, the girl must self-identify as female – embracing historical and modern girls whose sex may not be naturally female. This opens doors to viewing “girl” as a self-defined category, in part influenced by cultures in which “girl” is applied to adult females who embrace the term as their own as well as emerging realizations of gender fluidity and multiplicity. […]

Complicating this gendered experience is our second factor: age. For this volume, I define girlhood as the period of life from birth to age 21, in order to prioritize the early life experiences of girl culture. This is a chronological category…. The use of chronological age is a modern phenomenon, emerging in seventeenth century Europe to define who bore political rights and who did not. […] Prior to the imposition of chronological age, the category was measured in milestones defined by cultural – not political – tradition. Such milestones are also flexible. […] The imposition of Western age norms has disrupted these cultural systems, imposing a chronological age system that seeks to show maturity – and imposes power imbalances by dictating that some people (women, people of color, colonized peoples) never mature. […]

For girls, their gender and youth combine into double discrimination (termed gendered ageism ) that is then compounded by other demographic categories into an intersectional system of oppression.

For this exhibit, we chose to look beyond academia and out into the real world. What do girls living the experience of girlhood today feel about their social category? What does being a girl mean in the 21st century? What makes girlhood unique, special, and memorable?

Special thanks to Genisus Holland and the Girls for A Change participants who took our survey and whose answers are featured below.

What does being a “girl” mean to you?

What is your favorite thing about being a “girl”?

What is something about being a “girl” that you wish more people knew about?

How would you say society views girlhood in your country?

Can you think of and describe a defining moment of your girlhood? Perhaps a time when you felt a strong connection to being a “girl” or when you felt distanced from the way society expects “girls” to be.

Exploring Girlhood as Curators

In this episode of GirlSpeak, Girl Museum’s curatorial and education interns Asha and Yuwen talk about their experiences in preparing for this exhibition and how they came to view “girls” and “girlhood” through their work with us.

This exhibition was curated by Yuwen Zhang, Asha Hall-Jones, and Tiffany R. Isselhardt with assistance from Josie Evans and Dr. Elizabeth Dillenburg. Graphic design by Janey Robideau. Special thanks to our contributors, who provided key insights on girlhood and its meanings.

Recommended Reading

The titles below are recommended by our curatorial team for their exemplary explorations of gender and girlhood. Click the picture to be taken to Bookshop.org, where you can buy the book while supporting indie bookstores and Girl Museum.

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10 Things Women Say (And What They Really Mean)

Dating > Signs > Things Women Say by Coaching Staff • Updated: August 31, 2022

• 15 Texts Decoded (what these texts mean)
• Why a Girl acts “hot” and “cold”
• 5 Signs She’s Just Not Into You

Figuring Out The Verbal Riddles Of Your Crush

It’s a dilemma for guys as old as time: she says one thing, but you have a feeling she means something entirely different.

Dating can be tough, fellas. Women are as confusing as they are pretty, and many of them expect you to just simply  figure it out .

How do you deal with a girl that says one thing, but means another?

Most importantly, how do you figure out what she really means?

Let’s take a look at some examples.

Here are 10 things single women say frequently, along with a best case and worst case scenario translation of what they really mean.

#1. When a Girl Says: “Fine.”

Best Case Scenario : She’s not exactly thrilled with whatever you said or did, but she’s in the process of making peace with it. Give her some space to process it further.

Worst Case Scenario : Things are anything but fine. If you want things to work with her, put in some effort or take back whatever you said.

#2. When a Girl Says:  “We need to talk.”

Best Case Scenario : There’s something on her mind or going on in her life that she thinks you need to know about. Things are about to change, but not necessarily in a bad way. Maybe she got offered a promotion at work or feels like something is missing and wants to give you a chance to fix it.

Worst Case Scenario : It’s over, bro. At least she didn’t ghost you.

#3. When a Girl Says: “Nothing’s wrong.”

Best Case Scenario : Something is definitely wrong, but she doesn’t think it’s worth the time or energy to explain it to you. Do something nice for her and you’ll be back in her good grace.

Worst Case Scenario :  You  are what’s wrong, and are about to get specific examples as to why that’s the case.

#4. When a girl Says: “K.”

Best Case Scenario : Unfortunately, there’s not really such a thing. If you get sent a “K” over text, you’re in trouble. If you like her and want to keep seeing her, you better get to work.

Worst Case Scenario : That’s the last text you ever get from her.

#5. When a Girl Says: “That guy is hot.”

Best Case Scenario : She wants to see your response to her interest in other guys. She’s testing the waters to see how you respond. Depending on how you handle her comment, she may actually find you more attractive.

Worst Case Scenario : 2 days later, you see her sending Snapchats to the aforementioned hot guy you two saw at the gym.

• 99.9% of Girls Chase You When You Say “THIS”
• “THESE” Flirting Lines Make Her Want You
• 5 Mistakes Men Make When a Girl “Pulls Away”

#6. When a Girl Says: “Let’s take it slow.”

Best Case Scenario : She’s genuinely interested but just got out of a relationship. She’s interested, but just needs some time between guys. Perhaps maybe, she’s just old-fashioned and prefers to get to know people before she sleeps with them.

Worst Case Scenario : She’s dating other people and shopping around for the best option. You’re 1 of 4 guys she’s gotten drinks with this week.

#7. When a Girl Says: “I’m really busy right now, that’s all.”

Best Case Scenario : She doesn’t want to stop seeing you completely, and gives you an estimated amount of time as to when she might be ready to date again.

Worst Case Scenario : This weekend, she puts multiple photos on social media of her and 2 friends at some downtown venue. Yeah, she’s busy- busy not dating you.

#8. When a Girl Says: “I’m not mad.”

Best Case Scenario : She’s not mad enough to end things, but she’s disappointed about something you did. In a way, this almost feels worse. But at least she’s giving you a chance to step up.

Worst Case Scenario : You’re about to find out just how “not mad” she really is. This really could play out in a number of different awful scenarios.

#9. When a Girl Says: “Maybe.”

Best Case Scenario : She’s mulling over a few different options. She’ll get back to you.

Worst Case Scenario : She’s mulling over at least one other guy. She probably won’t get back to you.

#10. When a Girl Says: “Are you seeing anyone else?”

Best Case Scenario : She’s definitely calling you out, but it’s for a good reason.? She sees potential in you and wants to see if you’re serious about her before she commits any more feelings to you.

Worst Case Scenario : You left your phone on the table, and she saw a text message from? “Jenn” with the bumblebee emoji next to it while you were in the bathroom.

• #1 Way to Have “Power” Over a Woman
• 5 “Older Guy” Traits Younger Women Chase
• Use “Romantic Tension” To Keep Her Interested

5 More Things Girls Say (And What They Really Mean)

• Take the 10-Question Quiz and Get Your Results Instantly

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A Summary and Analysis of Jamaica Kincaid’s ‘Girl’

By Dr Oliver Tearle (Loughborough University)

‘Girl’ is a short story by the Antigua-born writer Jamaica Kincaid (born 1949). In this very short story, which runs to just a couple of pages, a mother offers advice to her teenage daughter about how to behave like a proper woman. ‘Girl’ was originally published in the New Yorker in 1978 before being reprinted in Kincaid’s collection At the Bottom of the River in 1983.

At just 650 words, Kincaid’s story can be regarded as a piece of flash fiction or micro-fiction. However, it doesn’t tell a ‘story’ in the conventional or traditional sense. You can read ‘Girl’ here before proceeding to our summary and analysis below.

‘Girl’: plot summary

The story comprises one single sentence of 650 words, and takes the form of a dialogue between a mother and her daughter. Although this is not stated in the story, the setting – as Kincaid has subsequently pointed out – is Antigua, the Caribbean island where she was born and raised, and the reference to numerous local foods, such as okra, salt fish, and dasheen, all hint at the story’s Caribbean setting.

The mother gives advice to her daughter, the ‘girl’ of the story’s title. Initially, this is practical domestic advice about washing and drying clothes, as well as cooking tips, such as how to cook salt fish. It is also parental advice along the lines of not walking bareheaded in the hot sun.

But as the mother’s advice continues, we begin to learn something about her attitude to her daughter: she tells her to walk like a lady on Sundays, rather than the immoral and unkempt woman she is determined, according to the mother, to become.

The mother tells her daughter not to sing ‘benna’ in Sunday school: a reference to benna , a calypso-like genre of singing popular in Caribbean countries and characterised by scandalous gossip and a call-and-response format. At this point, the daughter’s voice breaks in, in italics, and protests that she has sung benna in Sunday school, so she is being cautioned against doing something she already knows not to do.

The mother appears to ignore her daughter’s interjection, continuing to give her advice, including how to wear a different smile for people she doesn’t like, people she actively hates, and people she does like. She then tells her how to dress so she doesn’t look like ‘the slut I know you are so bent on becoming’. This phrase is repeated several times in the story.

The mother carries on, becoming more critical of her daughter’s attitude and behaviour. She mentions Obeah , a mystical religion with its roots in African beliefs and rituals, and tells her daughter not to judge by appearances. She also offers medical advice, including how to bring on an abortion and how to catch a fish, as well as how to catch, or attract, a man to become her husband.

Indeed, much of her advice focuses on the kind of domestic chores a wife would be expected to perform for her husband in traditional societies.

The story ends with the mother advising her daughter how to squeeze a loaf of bread to tell whether it is fresh. The daughter speaks again – only the second time she has done so in the story – to ask what she should do if the baker won’t let her touch the bread. The mother responds, is her daughter really going to be the kind of woman the baker won’t let near the bread?

‘Girl’: analysis

Kincaid’s story is about a mother passing on her wisdom to her daughter, but one of the clever things about the way Kincaid organises the story is the way she seamlessly weaves in moral advice about reputation among the more everyday, domestic knowhow she thinks her daughter needs to know.

The mother is concerned not just with ensuring her daughter becomes a good wife when she grows up, but ensuring that she is seen as a good woman, rather than a ‘slut’ (the word the mother uses several times in this short story) who is viewed as immoral and promiscuous by her neighbours and the wider community.

The title of Kincaid’s story, ‘Girl’, is significant because it becomes clear that the daughter in the story is actually a girl on the cusp of adulthood. This, then, is the mother having ‘the talk’ with her daughter, if not quite about the ‘birds and the bees’ then about how to be seen as a woman of good morals.

Kincaid hints at the girl’s adolescence through several suggestive details, such as the ‘little cloths’ she mentions early on: a reference to the girl’s underwear. This is a subtle allusion to menstruation and what the girl should do when she starts her monthly bleeding.

Given its brevity and the headlong structure of this one-sentence conversation, we as readers are not given any deeper knowledge about how the mother views the society of which she is a part. Does she approve of the patriarchal structure of her society, where women are prepared for their roles as good daughters, and then good wives and good mothers, from an early age? On one level, she is upholding this structure by uncritically presenting her recommendations as merely ‘the way things are’, we might say.

But this might simply mean that she wants her daughter to have a good life and an easy life, if not in terms of the daily grind of household chores, then in how she gets along with her neighbours and friends. By doing as the mother advises, her daughter will be thought of well by the community, and that will make her life easier.

Nor do we know whether she is right to return – as she repeatedly does – to sexual matters and the kind of young woman she fears her daughter is ‘in danger of becoming’.

The first of her daughter’s two interjections suggests that her mother may be misjudging her own daughter, since when her mother tells her not to sing benna in Sunday school, she responds that she doesn’t do that, implying this is an unfair ‘criticism’ of her behaviour.

This suggests – though it can only be inferred on our part, rather than confidently asserted – that the mother is concerned with her daughter being led astray, and her fears about her conduct and reputation may be unfounded, or at least exaggerated.

If this is so, then it only serves to underscore the traditional patriarchal structure of the Antiguan society that Kincaid is seeking to depict in ‘Girl’.

Of course, this would also be true of many other societies around the world, although assuming the story has a contemporary setting (if not in the 1970s then perhaps recalling Kincaid’s own girlhood, from a decade or so before), it implies that – assuming the mother’s attitudes are typical of the values held by that society more widely – there was still a strong sense of the importance of family in Antiguan society when the story was written. And a woman’s good reputation as a loyal wife and hard-working mother is important in upholding those values.

The story is also notable for its use of grammar: it consists of a single sentence, most of which is spoken by a mother who is giving advice to her daughter. The mother’s monologue is briefly interrupted by the girl on just occasions, but otherwise, this story consists of the mother’s words of wisdom to her daughter – about life, relationships, housekeeping, and the importance of reputation.

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Why ‘Girls’ Rule the Internet

Online, where people go on “hot girl walks” and make “girl dinner,” the word “girl” is more a mind-set than a statement about one’s age or gender.

By Marie Solis

Abi Balingit knows she’s an adult. She has a day job as an ad operations manager for a music company and a side job as a cookbook author. She pays the rent for her Brooklyn apartment every month and files her taxes every year. Also, she is 28 years old. But when she logs onto X, formerly known as Twitter, she becomes a girl or “girlie” — and so do the other women she talks to there.

The “Depop girlies,” users on the fashion resale app, are upselling the Sandy Liang collaboration with Baggu, she observes. She and “the girls” are having brunch , or tea or a pasta night . When Ms. Balingit posts, it’s “ for the girls .”

Who are all of these girls, and where did they come from? Ms. Balingit said she is often addressing Gen Z or millennial women, but not always. A “girl” could be “anyone who doesn’t fall into the gendered idea of the word,” she said, or even “anyone on the internet.”

Online, if your ears can pick up the frequency of the word “girl,” you just might be one. And as a girl, there is almost no behavior or activity you can’t claim as your own. Inspired by Megan Thee Stallion’s song “Hot Girl Summer,” you might go on a “hot girl walk” before seeing “Barbie,” a movie “for girls” — or “Oppenheimer,” also “for girls,” according to Ms. Balingit — and then put together a “ girl dinner ,” an assortment of snacks.

The word “girl” can be a noun, a verb, an adjective, or an exclamation, meaning something slightly different depending on how it’s said and who has said it — often it’s with the lilt of irony. It can begin a sentence, or punctuate one, or be a sentence on its own. In July, the Vanity Fair writer Delia Cai proclaimed: “ We’ve Reached Peak Girl .”

Yet despite the word’s flexibility, “girl” usually works to establish an in-group and relish a particular kind of bond.

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• May 10, 2021

What ‘Girlhood’ Means in 2021

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What Does It Mean to Be a Woman: Understanding the Essence and Experience

Being a woman encompasses a multitude of experiences, perspectives, and identities. When we consider what it means to be a woman, it goes beyond biological definitions. It is about embracing the unique challenges and strengths that come with identifying as female.

To me, being a woman means navigating societal expectations while staying true to oneself. It means finding empowerment in our choices and supporting other women along the way. As women, we often face obstacles and biases that can hinder our progress, but it is through resilience and determination that we continue to break barriers and make strides towards equality.

In today’s ever-evolving world, the definition of womanhood continues to expand. It is inclusive of transgender women who bravely embrace their true selves and contribute to the rich tapestry of femininity. Being a woman means recognizing that gender is not binary but exists on a spectrum.

As we explore what it truly means to be a woman, let us celebrate the diversity within our community and champion each other’s successes. Together, we can redefine societal norms and create a future where every individual feels seen, heard, and valued for who they are.

The Historical Significance of Womanhood

The historical significance of womanhood is a complex and multifaceted topic that has evolved over time. It encompasses the roles, rights, and experiences of women in different societies throughout history. Exploring this subject sheds light on the struggles, achievements, and contributions of women that have shaped our world. Let’s delve into some examples and key moments that highlight the historical significance of womanhood:

• Suffragette Movement: One of the pivotal moments in women’s history is the suffragette movement in the late 19th and early 20th centuries. Women fought tirelessly for their right to vote, challenging societal norms and demanding political equality. The suffragettes’ determination paved the way for significant progress towards gender equality.
• Women in World War II: During World War II, women took on vital roles previously reserved for men on the home front while men were at war. They worked in factories, served as nurses, operated machinery, and contributed significantly to war efforts globally. This period marked a turning point in challenging traditional gender roles.
• Feminist Movements: Throughout history, various feminist movements have emerged worldwide advocating for equal rights for women. From first-wave feminism focusing on suffrage to second-wave feminism addressing reproductive rights and workplace discrimination, these movements have had a profound impact on shaping policies and societal attitudes toward women .
• Trailblazers in Science: Despite facing significant barriers due to gender biases, many pioneering female scientists have made groundbreaking discoveries throughout history. Notable figures like Marie Curie (who discovered radioactivity) and Rosalind Franklin (who contributed to understanding DNA structure) defied societal expectations and advanced scientific knowledge.
• Women’s Rights Activism: From influential figures like Malala Yousafzai fighting for girls’ education to activists like Gloria Steinem advocating for reproductive rights, countless individuals continue to fight against gender-based discrimination today, both locally and globally.

These examples merely scratch the surface of the historical significance of womanhood. They demonstrate how women have challenged societal norms, fought for their rights, and contributed to various fields despite facing significant obstacles. Understanding this history helps us appreciate the progress made while recognizing the ongoing struggle for gender equality.

Exploring the Biological Aspects of Being a Woman

When it comes to understanding what it means to be a woman, exploring the biological aspects is essential. These aspects shed light on the unique characteristics and experiences that shape the female identity. Let’s dive into some key points:

• Chromosomal Makeup: One of the fundamental biological distinctions between males and females lies in their chromosomal makeup. Women typically have two X chromosomes (XX), while men have one X and one Y chromosome (XY). This genetic difference contributes to various physical and physiological differences observed between males and females.
• Reproductive System: The female reproductive system plays a central role in defining womanhood. From puberty through menopause, women undergo significant hormonal fluctuations that regulate their menstrual cycles, fertility, and pregnancy-related processes. It is through this intricate system that women can conceive, nurture, and give birth to new life.
• Secondary Sexual Characteristics: Women possess distinctive secondary sexual characteristics that develop during puberty under the influence of hormones like estrogen. These include breast development, widening of hips, redistribution of body fat, and growth of pubic hair. These changes contribute to both physical appearance and functionality specific to the female body.
• Hormonal Influences: Hormones significantly impact various aspects of a woman’s life beyond reproduction alone. Estrogen levels affect bone density, cardiovascular health, emotional well-being, cognition, and more. Progesterone also plays a crucial role in regulating the menstrual cycle and preparing the body for potential pregnancy.
• Aging Process: The aging process brings about unique challenges for women as their bodies undergo hormonal changes associated with menopause. This transition marks the end of reproductive years but also has implications for overall health and well-being due to shifts in hormone production.

Understanding these biological aspects helps us appreciate the diverse experiences encountered by women throughout their lives—physically, emotionally, and socially.

As we explore further into other sections of this article, we’ll delve into the societal, cultural, and personal dimensions that contribute to the multifaceted nature of womanhood. Stay tuned for more insights on what it truly means to be a woman in today’s world.

Societal Expectations and Gender Roles

When exploring the concept of what it means to be a woman, one cannot ignore the influence of societal expectations and gender roles. These factors play a significant role in shaping women’s experiences, behaviors, and opportunities. Let’s dive into this complex topic by examining some examples:

• Traditional Gender Roles: Throughout history, society has placed certain expectations on individuals based on their gender. Women have often been assigned domestic responsibilities like caregiving, housekeeping, and child-rearing. These traditional gender roles can limit women’s choices and reinforce stereotypes about femininity.
• Workplace Inequality: Despite progress in recent years, gender inequality persists in many workplaces. Women continue to face challenges such as lower pay compared to male counterparts for doing the same job and limited representation in leadership positions. These disparities stem from deeply ingrained biases and societal norms that undervalue women’s contributions.
• Beauty Standards: Society often imposes narrow beauty standards on women, which can lead to body image issues and low self-esteem. The media frequently portrays an idealized version of femininity that is unattainable for most women. This pressure to conform to unrealistic beauty ideals can have detrimental effects on mental health.
• Double Standards: Women are often held to different standards than men when it comes to behavior and choices they make. For example, assertive behavior may be seen positively in men but negatively labeled as aggressive or bossy in women. This double standard reinforces stereotypes about how women should behave and limits their autonomy.
• Reproductive Expectations: Society places significant emphasis on motherhood as an essential aspect of womanhood, creating expectations around marriage and starting a family at a certain age or stage of life. This pressure can create feelings of inadequacy or exclusion for those who do not wish to follow traditional paths or face difficulties conceiving.

It is important to recognize that these societal expectations are not universal and vary across cultures, communities, and time periods. However, they continue to influence women’s experiences in significant ways. By acknowledging and challenging these expectations, we can work towards creating a more inclusive and equitable society for all genders.

As we continue our exploration of what it means to be a woman, it is crucial to consider the impact of societal expectations and gender roles on women’s lives. By understanding these dynamics, we can strive for a future where everyone can embrace their authentic selves, free from restrictive norms and stereotypes.

Challenging Stereotypes and Breaking Barriers

When it comes to the concept of being a woman, challenging stereotypes and breaking barriers becomes an integral part of the journey. Society has often placed women in predefined boxes, limiting their potential and imposing expectations on them. However, many incredible individuals have risen above these constraints, proving that being a woman is not about conforming to societal norms but rather defying them.

• Shattering Gender Roles: One inspiring example of challenging stereotypes is the increasing number of women who are entering traditionally male-dominated fields such as STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering, and Mathematics). From pioneering scientists to groundbreaking engineers, these women are redefining what it means to be successful in careers that were once considered off-limits for females. Their accomplishments not only challenge gender biases but also inspire future generations to pursue their passions without limitations.
• Advocating for Equal Rights: Another way women challenge stereotypes is through their tireless advocacy for equal rights. Throughout history, women have fought relentlessly for gender equality, pushing boundaries and demanding recognition for their contributions. From suffragettes fighting for the right to vote to activists championing reproductive rights and workplace equality today, these courageous individuals refuse to accept societal norms that limit opportunities based on gender.
• Empowering Voices: In recent years, social media platforms have provided a powerful tool for women to amplify their voices and share experiences that challenge stereotypes head-on. The rise of online communities dedicated to feminism has created spaces where women can connect with one another, share stories of triumphs over adversity, and provide support in the face of discrimination or prejudice. These digital platforms have become catalysts for change by enabling conversations about body positivity, mental health awareness, intersectionality, and other important topics.
• Redefining Beauty Standards: Women are also breaking barriers by redefining traditional beauty standards imposed by society’s narrow definitions. The body positivity movement has gained momentum, promoting self-acceptance and celebrating diverse body shapes, sizes, and colors. Influential figures in the fashion industry are challenging the long-standing notion that beauty only comes in one form by featuring models of different ethnicities, ages, and body types on runways and in advertising campaigns.
• Nurturing Leadership: Women are not just breaking barriers individually; they are also collectively empowering one another to take on leadership roles. Initiatives like mentorship programs and networking groups provide support systems for women to grow professionally and ascend into positions of power. As more women occupy leadership roles across various sectors, they inspire others to believe in their own capabilities and challenge the notion that leadership is solely a male domain.

By challenging stereotypes and breaking barriers, women continue to redefine societal perceptions of what it means to be a woman. Through their resilience, determination, and unwavering spirit, they pave the way for future generations to thrive without limitations or preconceived notions.

Empowerment and Feminism

When it comes to the topic of empowerment and feminism, there are numerous aspects to consider. In today’s society, the concept of empowering women has gained significant traction as it seeks to challenge traditional gender roles and promote gender equality. Let’s delve into a few examples that highlight the importance and impact of empowerment and feminism:

• Economic Empowerment: Economic empowerment plays a crucial role in advancing women’s rights and achieving gender equality. It involves providing women with equal access to opportunities, resources, education, and job prospects. When women are economically empowered, they can break free from financial dependence, contribute to household income, make independent decisions about their lives, and invest in their own futures.
• Political Empowerment: Political empowerment focuses on increasing women’s participation in decision-making processes at all levels of governance. This includes encouraging their involvement in politics, leadership positions, policy-making bodies, and other influential roles. By having more diverse perspectives represented in political arenas, societies can benefit from inclusive policies that address the needs of all citizens.
• Social Empowerment: Social empowerment aims to challenge societal norms and stereotypes that limit women’s potential. It involves fostering an environment where women feel safe and supported to pursue their aspirations without facing discrimination or prejudice. Through initiatives such as education campaigns against gender-based violence or promoting equal opportunities for girls in sports or STEM fields (science, technology, engineering, mathematics), social empowerment helps dismantle barriers that hinder progress.
• Intersectionality in Feminism: It is essential to recognize the intersectionality within feminism – acknowledging that different individuals face unique challenges based on race/ethnicity, socioeconomic status, sexual orientation, and disability status, among other factors – when discussing empowerment efforts fully. By embracing an intersectional approach within feminism, movements focus not only on gender but also on addressing overlapping systems of oppression for more inclusive progress.
• The Power of Solidarity: Feminism thrives on solidarity and collective action. Empowering women involves creating a supportive network where individuals can come together to advocate for gender equality, amplify each other’s voices, and challenge discriminatory practices. Whether it’s through grassroots movements, online activism, or community organizations, the power of solidarity has the potential to create lasting change.

Remember that these examples are just a starting point in understanding empowerment and feminism; there is much more to explore within this vast topic. By continuing to educate ourselves and engage in meaningful conversations about gender equality, we can contribute to a more inclusive and empowered world for all.

Navigating Gender Identity and Expression

Understanding and navigating gender identity and expression is a complex journey that individuals embark on to discover their authentic selves. It encompasses the exploration of one’s internal sense of being male, female, or non-binary, as well as how they choose to express themselves outwardly. Let’s delve into this topic further by examining a few examples:

• Personal Exploration: For many individuals, understanding their gender identity involves introspection and self-reflection. They may question societal expectations and norms surrounding gender roles, leading them to explore the possibility of identifying with a different gender than assigned at birth. This process often involves seeking support from friends, family, or professionals who can provide guidance and resources.
• Non-Binary Identities: Non-binary individuals challenge the traditional binary concept of gender by identifying outside of the categories of male or female. They may embrace fluidity in their gender expression and feel comfortable embracing characteristics typically associated with both genders or neither. This inclusive approach allows for greater freedom of self-expression.
• Gender Expression: How one chooses to express their gender externally is an important aspect of personal identity and can vary greatly from person to person. Some individuals may align their appearance with societal expectations for their identified gender, while others might intentionally subvert these expectations through clothing choices, hairstyles, or other forms of self-expression.
• Intersectionality: It’s crucial to recognize that navigating gender identity intersects with various aspects of an individual’s life, such as race, culture, religion, disability status, socioeconomic background, etc. These intersecting identities shape unique experiences within society and influence how someone navigates their own path towards self-discovery.
• Supportive Communities: Building supportive communities plays a vital role in helping individuals navigate their journey of understanding gender identity and expression successfully. LGBTQ+ organizations provide safe spaces where people can connect with others who share similar experiences while accessing valuable resources such as counseling services or educational materials.

As we continue to explore the multifaceted nature of gender identity and expression, it’s essential to approach this topic with empathy and respect for individuals’ lived experiences. By fostering a society that values diversity and inclusivity, we can create a more accepting world where everyone feels empowered to express their true selves.

Embracing Diversity within Womanhood

When it comes to understanding what it means to be a woman, embracing diversity is crucial. The concept of womanhood encompasses a wide range of experiences, identities, and perspectives. In this section, we’ll explore how embracing diversity within womanhood can lead to empowerment and inclusivity for all.

• Celebrating Different Backgrounds: One of the most beautiful aspects of womanhood is that it transcends cultural boundaries. Women come from various ethnicities, religions, socioeconomic backgrounds, and nationalities. Embracing this diversity means acknowledging and celebrating the unique experiences that shape each woman’s identity. By recognizing the richness that different backgrounds bring to the table, we create a space where all women feel seen and valued.
• Embracing Intersectionality: Womanhood intersects with other dimensions of identity such as race, class, sexual orientation, disability status, and more. Recognizing this intersectionality allows us to understand that every woman’s experience is shaped by multiple factors simultaneously. It helps us avoid making sweeping generalizations about what it means to be a woman based on one aspect alone. Embracing intersectionality fosters empathy and encourages allyship among women from various walks of life.
• Challenging Stereotypes: Society often imposes narrow definitions of femininity onto women, perpetuating harmful stereotypes that limit individuality and self-expression. Embracing diversity within womanhood involves challenging these stereotypes by creating spaces where all women can confidently embrace their authentic selves without judgment or pressure to conform.
• Amplifying Voices: Within any group or community, there are voices that tend to dominate while others remain marginalized or unheard altogether. Embracing diversity within womanhood requires actively seeking out those voices that have been historically silenced or overlooked due to systemic biases or discrimination. By amplifying diverse voices through platforms like social media or public discourse, we can foster an environment in which every woman’s story is valued and respected.
• Building Solidarity: Embracing diversity within womanhood means recognizing that all women face unique challenges but also acknowledging that some women experience additional barriers due to intersecting forms of oppression. By standing in solidarity with one another, we can work together to dismantle these barriers and create a more equitable society for all women.

In conclusion, embracing diversity within womanhood is not only essential but also empowering. It allows us to appreciate the multifaceted nature of being a woman and creates space for inclusivity, understanding, and growth. By celebrating different backgrounds, embracing intersectionality, challenging stereotypes, amplifying voices, and building solidarity, we can foster an environment where every woman feels seen, heard, and valued.

Finding Strength in Unity: Sisterhood in the Modern World

In today’s fast-paced and interconnected world, the power of unity and sisterhood has become even more significant. Women from all walks of life are coming together to support and empower each other, creating a strong network that fosters personal growth and societal change. In this section, we’ll explore how women find strength in unity through sisterhood.

• Building a Supportive Community:
• One of the key aspects of sisterhood is building a supportive community where women can lean on each other during challenging times. Whether it’s dealing with work-related issues, relationship struggles, or personal setbacks, having a network of understanding women provides comfort and guidance.
• Through open conversations, shared experiences, and empathetic listening, sisters offer not only emotional support but also practical advice to help navigate various situations.
• Empowering Each Other:
• Sisterhood goes beyond offering support; it involves empowering one another to reach their full potential. Women uplift each other by celebrating achievements, promoting self-confidence, and encouraging risk-taking.
• By sharing knowledge and skills, sisters inspire each other to excel in both personal and professional spheres. They recognize that when one woman succeeds, it paves the way for others to follow suit.
• Advocating for Gender Equality:
• Sisterhood plays a crucial role in advocating for gender equality on both local and global scales. United voices amplify the call for equal opportunities, fair treatment, and an end to discrimination.
• Women come together to challenge societal norms that limit their potential or perpetuate inequality. By standing up against gender-based violence, unequal pay practices, or lack of representation in leadership roles, they strive to create a more equitable world for all.
• Fostering Collaboration:
• The power of collaboration within sisterhood cannot be underestimated. When women join forces with shared goals and passions, they become catalysts for positive change.
• Sisters collaborate on projects, initiatives, and advocacy campaigns to address issues that affect women collectively. Their diverse perspectives, skills, and experiences create a rich tapestry of ideas and strategies for creating lasting impact.
• Inspiring Future Generations:
• Sisterhood in the modern world is not just about women supporting each other; it’s also about inspiring future generations of girls to embrace their own power and potential.
• By serving as role models, mentors, and advocates for young girls, sisters sow the seeds of empowerment and resilience. They instill values of self-worth, ambition, and compassion in the next generation, ensuring a legacy of strong women who continue to uplift one another.

Sisterhood in the modern world represents a collective force that empowers women to break barriers, overcome challenges, and thrive personally and professionally. Through building supportive communities, empowering each other, advocating for gender equality, fostering collaboration, and inspiring future generations – unity becomes strength. Together as sisters, we can create a more inclusive society where every woman thrives.

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What Does It Mean to Be a Woman? It’s Complicated

A n “adult human female,” according to a seemingly common-sense slogan seen on the T-shirts and laptop stickers of those who oppose the idea that transgender women are women. They argue that gender itself is a false ideology masking the truth of biological sex difference. But “woman” is complicated in ways that have little to do with transgender issues. Only the delusional would deny biological differences between people, but only the uninformed can maintain that what the body means, and how it relates to social category, doesn’t vary between cultures and over time.

The Caribbean novelist and intellectual Sylvia Wynter opposes the “biocentric” ordering of the world that emerged from European colonialism; the transatlantic slave trade depended, after all, on the idea that certain biological differences meant a person could be treated like property. The black 19th century freedom fighter Sojourner Truth’s famous, perhaps apocryphal, question “Ain’t I a woman?” challenged her white sisters in the struggle for the abolition of slavery to recognize that what counted as “woman” counted, in part, on race. A century later in the Jim Crow South, segregated public-toilet doors marked Men, Women and Colored underscored how the legal recognition of a gender binary has been a privilege of whiteness. In 1949, the French philosopher Simone de Beauvoir asserted that “one is not born, but rather becomes a woman”; in doing so, she grasped how the raw facts of our bodies at birth are operated on by social processes to transform each of us into the people we become.

Who gets “womaned” by society and subjected to misogynistic discrimination as a result, and who answers yes to the question, posed publicly or in the innermost realms of thought, as to whether they’re a woman or not? The intersection of those two conditions arguably marks the status of belonging to womanhood in ways that do not depend on reproductive biology.

The “What is a woman?” question can stretch the bounds and bonds of womanhood in messy yet vital directions—as in the case of Marsha P. Johnson , a feminine gender-nonconforming person who graced the streets of New York City as a self-proclaimed “street transvestite action revolutionary” for decades. She’s now hailed as a transgender icon, but Johnson fits awkwardly with contemporary ideas of trans womanhood, let alone womanhood more generally. She called herself “gay” at a time when the word transgender was not common, and lived as a man from time to time. She used she/her pronouns but thought of herself as a “queen,” not as a “woman,” or even a “transsexual.”

While some people now embrace a rainbow of possibilities between the familiar pink and blue, others hew even tighter to a biological fundamentalism. Those willing to recognize new forms of gender feel anxious about misgendering others, while those who claim superior access to the truth are prepared to impose that truth upon those who disagree. What’s right—even what’s real—in such circumstances is not always self-evident. Labeling others contrary to how they have labeled themselves is an ethically loaded act, but “woman” remains a useful shorthand for the entanglement of femininity and social status regardless of biology—not as an identity, but as the name for an imagined community that honors the female, enacts the feminine and exceeds the limitations of a sexist society.

Why can’t womanhood jettison its biocentrism to expand its political horizons and include people like Marsha P. Johnson? After all, it’s we the living who say collectively what “woman” means, hopefully in ways that center the voices and experiences of all those who live as women, across all our other differences.

Stryker is a presidential fellow and visiting professor of women’s, gender and sexuality studies at Yale University

This article is part of 100 Women of the Year , TIME’s list of the most influential women of the past century. Read more about the project , explore the 100 covers and sign up for our Inside TIME newsletter for more.

Home — Essay Samples — Sociology — Girl — Girl By Jamaica Kincaid Analysis

Girl by Jamaica Kincaid Analysis

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Published: Mar 13, 2024

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One of the key themes in girl is the portrayal of gender roles and the ways in which they shape the lives of women., furthermore, girl also explores the power dynamics within the mother-daughter relationship., in addition to gender roles and power dynamics, girl also delves into the consequences of societal expectations on individual identity..

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What Does It Mean to Be “Written By a Woman?”

How a misleading phrase went viral on tiktok, twitter, and then became part of the gen z lexicon.

Frontispiece illustration from Part 2 of  Little Women  by Louisa May Alcott (1832-1888), illustrated by her sister May Alcott. Boston: Roberts Brothers, 1869.  Image credit: Public Domain {{PD-US}} / *AC85.Aℓ194L.1869 pt.2aa, Houghton Library, Harvard University .

He could be skinny or ripped or somewhere in between, but never fat. He’s different from most of the men you meet: He doesn’t catcall, he doesn’t question your rape story, and he would never, ever put anything other than your pleasure and happiness first. He could be old or young, blonde or brunette, but he’s usually white. He could be a writer, or firefighter, or virtuously unemployed, but he’s invariably charming. He’s tall, he’s always smart, and never condescending. He buys you coffee, opens the door for you, but also values your political opinions and believes you’re his equal. Heterosexual women love him because he’s ostensibly the projection of their innermost desires. He might even be a feminist. 

He’s a man “written by a woman”—or at least that’s what this sort of man is now called on the internet, and in the jargon of Gen Z. 

Celebrating such male characters “written by women” first went viral on TikTok, and then on Twitter. Most of the first examples were characters in movies: Timothee Chalamet as Laurie in Greta Gerwig’s adaptation of Little Women , most male characters in Jason Sudekis’s Ted Lasso , and even Harry Styles himself were honored with montage videos set to popular songs. The phenomenon made some sense to start, when the person highlighted was a male character who was literally written by a woman, as in Louisa May Alcott’s Laurie. Fans all know that nearly half of the staff writing Ted Lasso are female: and male characters on the show like Ted, Roy, and Sam are generally kind, dote on the women in their life, and will sometimes even shut down expressions of misogyny with a well-informed reference to an appropriate feminist theorist. Even Laurie as he appears in the Gerwig film seems to genuinely listen and understand when Amy gives a feminist monologue about the alternatives she faces: marry to survive and hope the man is nice—or die socially rejected and poor. In many #WrittenByAWoman videos, clips of Chalamet as Laurie flit across the screen to whatever song is most popular on TikTok that week and commenters swoon, not solely for his looks, but mainly for his unique sensitivity and undying love.

But as often happens with memes, popularity has transformed their meaning. No woman wrote a script for Harry Styles, but he’s nevertheless been branded by TikTokers and Tweeters as being “written by a woman”—just because he wears androgynous clothing and flies pride flags at his concerts. He, and other male celebs like mega-famous K-pop stars, defy expectations of masculinity and thus are considered to be “written by a woman.”

You may have noticed that all of these men are celebrities. All of them are essentially inaccessible. Yet their inaccessibility only adds to their allure.

I think that desiring these inaccessible men “written by women” is in large part a way for heterosexual women to release their frustration over the supposed rarity of such caring and desirable men in real, everyday life. 

But these days, on the internet, it’s no longer just celebrities who can be “written by women.” Some TikTok “creators,” as they’re called, are now declaring that their boyfriends were “written by women” as if to brag: “he’s one of the very few good ones.” These TikToks show boyfriends cooking or cleaning or taking care of children—basic acts of survival—and commenters swoon. Perhaps one reason for Gen Z’s prevailing hetero-pessimism is that, in the real world, men who simply do the bare minimum are still so rare that they are glorified as being “written by a woman.”

A month ago, on TikTok a search for the top videos tagged with “written by a woman” produced videos of Chalamet, Styles, and an assortment of “bare minimum boyfriends.”

Last week, the most viewed section was populated with women themselves acting out scenes from daily life as if they were “written by a woman.” One video depicts what a woman “written by a woman” would do after a date—rip off her uncomfortable shoes, chow down on some cold leftover Chinese food, and throw on some sweats.

And so of course as memes beget memes, we now have videos showing what a woman written by a man would do.

One with the caption, “pov: i’m trying to study but I was written by a man,” shows a TikToker wearing a push up bra, a small tank top, and shorts; constantly putting her pen in her mouth to “think”; and eventually just dancing around instead of actually doing anything substantive. TikTok’s 4,000 plus likers of this video apparently agree that the way men have written female characters—existing to be sexualized—is a joke.

The “written by a woman” phenomenon seems to be a reaction—a protest against—the prevailing ways that men have “written” women to reflect their desires, rather than acknowledging the desires women actually have. It’s a reaction to the long history of dehumanizing portrayals of women written by men.

Young women and girls are, in effect, saying they want to escape an exclusively male gaze. This is an understandable reaction, a way to seize agency back from powerful male writers and producers. But is there in fact a distinctively “female gaze”—and if there is, is it beneficial, or necessarily feminist, to deploy it?

TikTok isn’t the only place where Gen Z women encounter female authors and these questions of gaze come up. Modern day romance novels are often written by women, and these female novelists are writing so-called feminist heterosexual female desire into their male characters. Many Gen Z’ers had their first foray into romance novels through celebrity fanfiction, published online. The main female character in these novellas, often called Y/N to be a POV stand-in for “Your Name,” were short, skinny, white, and always wore the trendiest clothes. The Harry Styles, or various other male celebrities, of these online pieces of romance fiction were often short-tempered, sometimes violent, and sexually dominant. These domineering male characters were literally “written by women” but don’t feel very feminist.

 Many of the romance novels currently published as books follow the same dramatic storytelling grooves to the same happily-ever-after endings. Still, some current authors like Emily Henry and Sally Thorne have modernized the genre and allow for a diversity of main characters in race, class, body type, and personality. Many of their feminist plot points, like women starting their own businesses, not being in a rush to get married or have kids, and investing in their female friendships, represent a departure from older novels in the genre.

In The Hating Game by Sally Thorne, the main character, Lucy Hutton, absolutely hates her officemate, Joshua Templeman, and is given the chance to compete with him for a better position and a raise. What makes Lucy desirable and interesting—being smart and confident—is a feminist improvement from the history of female characters written by men. The male love interest, though, doesn’t seem so different from his predecessors. Once the enemies become lovers the male character shows his “love” by being incredibly possessive, grabbing Lucy’s arm when another man smiles at her and verbalizing how angry it makes him to see her wearing something he calls provocative to the office.

The male protagonist of an ostensibly “girlboss” 2016 romance novel doesn’t exactly line up with feminist values. And this isn’t just a feature of Thorne’s novel but rather is part of a pattern. The male character may seem kind and interesting at first—different from the stereotypes of most men—but once layers are pulled back, he becomes more tortured and brooding.

The female protagonists written by these female novelists have rich personalities, interests, and feminist goals. But their male protagonists, and some aspects of the relationships, are remarkably stuck in time. The novels still sexualize a playground myth: that boys, and eventually men, show their love and affection by being mean and abusive, and that heterosexual women should desire this dominance.

Although characters like Thorne’s Joshua are literally written by a woman, their behavior is often quite misogynistic. The relationships at the center of the novels are often not equitable, nor feminist, and yet many are celebrated as if they were. The writers enact patriarchal themes in their books out of internalized misogyny and storytelling habit, but because of their female identities, the male characters’ behaviors are coded as sexy and the resulting relationship, empowering. The prevailing desires of a patriarchy —privileging dominant men and meek women—show up in new forms in these romance novels written by women.

In a world where tacking a sticker that says “Feminist” onto a book can increase sales, some publishers have predictably resorted to false advertising—never mind if the author didn’t ask for the label. Regardless of their intentions, the cultural milieu has put these writers, and their work, into a fraught space.

On the flip side, the TikTok videos romanticize the bare minimum of male care and reinforce the reductive idea that there is a singular female gaze that shows the “true” desires of heterosexual women despite the messiness of female desire in a patriarchal world (i.e. the pattern of women finding possessive men sexy even when they’re abusive). Both the novels and the TikTok videos provide a prism through which to see how heterosexual women are still caught in a cycle of perpetuating patriarchy. 

It can be discouraging to see the same stereotypes and storytelling tropes pass down from one medium and one generation to the next. As the same tropes in romance novels bleed into internet trends it seems that the ability to criticize lessens, as the misogyny becomes more embedded and internalized, and far less grotesque. A silly TikTok or a simple romance novel may seem inconsequential, but both the app and the genre are powerhouses, reaching millions of women and girls.

If a fictional work written by a woman doesn’t pass something like the Bechdel test—a checks and balances system created by Alison Bechdel that only passes a book or movie if two women in the work have at least one conversation that is not about a man—is it really all that different from what a man might write? 

The feminist theorist Laura Mulvey, among others, has argued that women internalize the male gaze within themselves, constantly judging themselves from the perspective of the patriarchy. If that is the case, then extricating “true” desire from what women have been taught to desire is a futile effort. What is not futile is to understand how desires are aroused—and to demand more critical attention to how contemporary women write their stories and create their characters, online and in books.

There’s nothing wrong with enjoying a romance novel or a lusty TikTok. But it’s worth asking how an internalized male gaze may continue to shape books and characters only superficially “written by women.”

Madeleine Janz is a journalist and graduate student at the New School for Social Research studying Creative Publishing and Critical Journalism. Her writing has appeared in  Document Journal, i-D, BUST,  and  World Wildlife  among others. Read more on  her website . 

Madeleine Janz

MA in Creative Publishing and Critical Journalism, The New School

2 thoughts on “ What Does It Mean to Be “Written By a Woman?” ”

Wow that was.. vile and “pick me”

“He could be old or young, blonde or brunette, but he’s usually white.” Wtf does that mean??

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13 Women Open up About What Being a Woman Means to Them in 2020

While there used to be a very specific model for exactly how to be a woman—how to look, talk, act the part, and sit down and shut up like a woman—those days are long gone. While there are certainly battles still raging over how women use their bodies and conduct their lives, the ways they show up in the world are more varied and nuanced than ever, making the definition of womanhood not universal, but rather specific to each woman herself.

To highlight the many ways there are to be a woman in the world in 2020, we spoke with more than a dozen women to hear about their lives—and what being a woman means and looks like to them. As their stories prove, being a woman is not about genitals, femininity, or fitting one specific mold. Each woman and her experience is uniquely hers.

‘I’m a force to be reckoned with’

"Being a woman to me in my past has always meant being too much. This is what I was always taught in my childhood and adolescence. Whenever someone said I was too loud or too talkative, it would hurt. ‘Too much' is no longer an insult to me; it is a sign of pride. If I am 'too much' for the world in this moment, I am just right for me as a woman.

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"Culture has played a very interesting role in my identity and the intersectionality of my identities. There was a time where I never thought I could claim the identities of ‘writer’, of ‘activist.' Being an Indian woman has often meant sacrificing one identity in order to preserve another. It meant being conservative over being honest. If I wanted to maintain my identity as a 'good' Indian girl, I had to sacrifice my identity as an advocate for mental health…Besides being a woman, I am a writer, an artist, an activist, a hustler. I am a force to be reckoned with, and most importantly I’m ‘me.' I own every one of my identities now. I worked too hard to reclaim them all to only have one." —Vaidehi Gajjar, 25

'Womanhood is much more complex than chromosomes'

"I think today we are seeing the very beginning of the acceptance that womanhood is not simply a set of body parts and functions that were never generalizable to all women anyway. That womanhood is much more complex than chromosomes or the ability to carry a baby.

"As a trans woman, it took me decades to understand that, despite all outward physical evidence to the contrary at the start of my life, my womanhood is real. It isn’t just a feeling nor is it delusion. It is a living, breathing, undeniable force that lies deep within me...Being a woman in 2020 is not so fragile a thing that it can’t encompass me or people like me.

"I am not just fighting the patriarchy and misogyny for the equality of women, I am fighting against their effects to be regarded as a woman at all. The net effect is that, for too many, being transgender erases the legitimacy of my other identities entirely. Fighting against that is the most feminist thing I do." —Melody Maia Monet, 49

‘I feel connected to more women—strangers and mothers and friends—than ever before’

"Being a woman means something different to me now than it even meant a month ago. It means I’m the manager of my family and I feel responsible for keeping us alive [on the macro level], and also helping every day in many little ways to get us through a crisis that is affecting the entire world.

"Being a woman in 2020, before the novel coronavirus pandemic, however, also has had a new, improved meaning, building on the past couple years since #MeToo and Binders and other female-forward initiatives. I feel very visible, and I feel connected to more women—strangers and mothers and friends—than ever before. It’s nice. It’s encouraging.

"More than anything, my identities—a mom, a wife, a daughter, a sister, an aunt, a cousin, a friend, a teacher, a writer, a comedian, a musician—come and go at various times. Sometimes being a sister isn’t as meaningful as being a mother, other times it’s everything in that moment." —Jessica Delfino, 43

‘It means having the choice to be bold and speak up’

"By the end of 2020, I will (hopefully!) be finished with my first semester of college at Barnard College of Columbia University. I’m a first-generation Chinese-American 17-year-old and one of two daughters of a single and immigrant mother.

"Like the hyphen in Chinese-American, I see how my experiences are all due to the intersection of my different identities. I was taught by my extended family to not speak until I am spoken to and to stay quiet about my opinion about current events... Being a woman in 2020 is to be unapologetically myself, especially in unconventional spaces that were not created for me; it means to have choices in every decision I come across and to have the understanding that all of my experiences that have led me to this point are credited to my various identities that intersect. Being a woman to me means having the choice to be bold and speak up not only for yourself but passing your voice to others as well." —Joyce Jiang, 17

'I contain multitudes'

"Aside from being a woman, I'm invisibly disabled, a writing instructor at a college, a traumatic brain injury (TBI) survivor, a freelance writer, a journalist, an alcoholic, a sexual assault survivor, a sister, a daughter, a granddaughter, a cousin, and a friend.

"My friends and I always joke around and say 'I contain multitudes' when someone finds out something about us they hadn't expected, but it's true: We all contain multitudes. For me, being a woman in 2020 isn't feeling ashamed I thwarted [a person’s] expectations and instead acting surprised they didn't assume I was a three-dimensional person with more than one story arc." —Brooke Knisley, 29

'It's about solving impossible problems'

"I am the child of immigrants, fat, queer, and live with autism and mental health issues including an eating disorder. Increasingly, being a woman in 2020 is [about] solving impossible problems. Making sure my community is safe and still connected and loved. It’s about boundaries, especially as a mental health professional—giving people support without turning all my friendships and relationships into therapeutic ones. It’s about being vulnerable and strong, and not having all the answers."  —Alicia Raimundo, 30

‘Being a woman is fully badass’

"Being a woman is a really interesting experience in the modern age (and all through history, let's be real)... I think that for me, part of being a woman means standing up for the values that I hold, and trying to make sure that all of the women, even and maybe even especially those who may not intersect with my life, are able to live their lives in the way they choose to.

"Beyond the global approach of being a woman, I think being a woman is fully badass. Women are powerful, and beautiful, and strong, and inspirational, jaw-dropping, awe-inspiring, history-makers, and just really, really cool." —Cat Wheeler, 26

'My existence is an act of resistance'

"I would say that as a woman of color, my existence is an act of resistance. Anything I do, whether I want it to be or not, is inherently political. I navigate the world knowing these things...[and] when I have an opportunity to use any privilege I have for 'good,' I take advantage of that.

"For me, my job as a writer on a TV show [ The Proud Family ] about a black family is a huge responsibility. My job in the day is a lot of pitching jokes, but I didn’t set out to do it because I wanted to pitch jokes all day. It was a responsibility for me to create representation in the world. Everything I do is driven by the knowledge that representation matters and belonging matters, and that everyone should have the right to belong." —Ashley Soto, 29

‘You can’t put me in a little box’

"I was adopted from Vietnam when I was four, and my whole family is white and we live in a town that is less than 4,000 people and predominantly white. Growing up, I was the only non-white person or Asian person at my school. It was kind of like a shock to everyone for me to be there... If you hadn’t seen me and just saw my name and that I’m from Mississippi, you might think I’m just a white woman, but you’d never be able to guess what’s behind the name.

"So I think being a woman in 2020 is breaking all those stereotypes and not being what everyone expects a woman to be. As someone who identifies as so many things, you can’t put me in a little box that other people might think ‘Oh she’s this or that.’ I’m a multifaceted person. That’s what all of us are as women in 2020, we’re all so different from what a woman might have been in the 1940s or 1950s when they were expected to be one thing, whether it’s a CEO, a teacher, a mom. Even if you just want to be a mom to a fur baby, we can proudly be whatever we want." —Sarah Barrett, 27

‘Women are looking inward now more than ever’

"Being a woman to me in 2020 means self-awareness. I believe the uptick in diversity in terms of gender identity, sexuality, and personal identity is coming from a rise in self-awareness. Women are looking inward more now than ever and investigating all aspects of their identity.

"I try to be as self-aware as possible with critical thinking—I basically try to question the reason behind why I do everything. Why am I reacting this way? Why does this make me happy? Why do I care about this? By asking myself these questions I often surprise myself with the answers, because we never quite realize how much of our thoughts and beliefs are more subconscious than not.

"With that self-awareness comes confidence—no one can tell you what you are or what you are not because you've deeply explored that and had those conversations with yourself. That confidence lets us be secure in our identity, but also secure in changing that identification if it feels right for us. Being a woman in 2020 is truly whatever we desire it to be!" —Gabby Beckford, 24

'I'm claiming ownership over my body and my identity'

"Being a queer femme woman has honestly been interesting to navigate ... Before I had a better understanding of my sexuality, I was afraid to dress less feminine because I thought people would think I was queer, which is really just my own internalized homophobia talking. Now that I'm more comfortable with my identity, I look at clothes as an artistic expression of who I am rather than something to be afraid of.

" Being a woman means claiming ownership over my body and my identity, advocating for equal rights for everyone, and making sure women retain the rights to their bodies. Being a woman makes me feel like I can be whoever I want to be and do whatever I want to do, regardless of whether anyone says otherwise. Being a woman means empowerment of both myself and other women." —Sloan Pecchia, 21

'It's both a wonderful and dangerous thing to be'

"To be a woman in 2020 is both a wonderful and dangerous thing to be. Society is starting to listen to what had been ignored in the past: Women are being victimized, women are being paid less for the same work, women are not seen as capable leaders. However, the actual change that comes with acknowledgement seems very slow and frustrating...

"My identity [as a Jewish woman] has definitely changed. In the late ‘90s when I was preparing for my Bat Mitzvah, I had to have a ‘very special talk’ with the rabbi’s wife about what being a woman meant. It was explained to me that the ideal woman is a help-mate to her husband in all things, and was put on this earth to nurture the next generation. This, along with other similar experiences, led me to be less connected to my Judaism. Now, however, with the advent of social media, I find myself becoming reconnected to my heritage. On Twitter alone, I follow a radical rabbi , a rabbi who is a disability activist , and a Southern rabbi of color , not to mention the amazing non-binary, queer, and trans Jews who have opened my eyes to the many ways one can be a Jewish woman." — Aviva Levin, 33

'Being a woman means being resistant and unapologetic'

"Being a woman is the first thing I identify with. Women's rights, empowerment, and equality are the issues that make my blood boil and that I'll never stop fighting for. I'm also Latina and the daughter of an immigrant, which is also an extremely important aspect of my identity...

"Being a single, 30-year-old, independent woman in 2020 to me means being resistant and unapologetic. I'm grateful for my ancestors who paved the way to allow me the freedoms I enjoy today, but know that globally, women have a long way to go before we achieve equity and equality in society, at work, and at home." — Lola Méndez , 30

These interviews have been edited and condensed for clarity.

In 2020, one of the biggest fights for women's rights will center on reproductive freedom . And you shouldn't take your credit card for granted—it is a milestone of women's economic freedom .

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Classroom Q&A

With larry ferlazzo.

In this EdWeek blog, an experiment in knowledge-gathering, Ferlazzo will address readers’ questions on classroom management, ELL instruction, lesson planning, and other issues facing teachers. Send your questions to [email protected]. Read more from this blog.

Response: “What Does It Mean to Be Young, Black, and Female in America?”

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(This is the last post in a three-part series. You can see Part One here and Part Two here .)

The new question-of-the-week is:

How should schools and districts respond to discipline disparities affecting black girls?

Part One of this special series guest-edited by Dr. Terri N. Watson examined the voices and perspectives of black girls. Dr. Watson and Yolanda Tomlin contributed responses in that first post. Dr. Watson, along with Drs. Yolanda Sealey- Ruiz and Venus Evans-Winters, also participated in a 10-minute conversation on my BAM! Radio Show about this topic.

Part Two featured practices schools and districts have and/or should implement to improve the schooling experiences of black girls. Gholdy Muhammad, Shannon R. Waite, Marquitta T. Speller, and Valerie Kinloch shared their commentaries.

The third and final part of this series will spotlight the work of education researchers and social-justice activists to improve the schooling experiences of black girls:

Response From Venus E. Evans-Winters

Venus E. Evans-Winters is an associate professor of education and faculty affiliate in Women & Gender Studies, African American Studies and Ethnic Studies at Illinois State University:

Black Girls & Education Research: When Racialized Gender Bias and Resistance Collide

Across the U.S., black school-age girls are twice as likely to be suspended from school as white girls, and we know that girls’ are not being pushed out of school for more frequent or serious misbehavior. Data reveal that most black girls are being singled out and pushed out for subjective or minor offenses (e.g., insubordination or “talking back,” dress-code violations, tardiness, etc.). Education researchers are just now beginning to understand the complexity of the black girl push-out problem, teacher bias, and how zero-tolerance policies affect black girls’ overall educational development and socio-emotional health.

In my own research, I seek to better understand black girls’ schooling experiences and the adversities that they may endure inside and outside of schools. Zero-tolerance policies in schools, policing in schools, and racially segregated schooling leave many black girls vulnerable to, or at higher-risk of, racial and gender harassment at the hands of adults in schools. Harsh discipline policies coupled with teacher bias place undue stress on black girls. Sadly, black girl students from working-class families, and/or black girls with disabilities, those who identify with the LGBTQ community, or nongender confirming youths are more likely to be negatively impacted by racialized gender bias in schools.

Studying black girls’ experiences in families, communities, and schools for nearly 20 years, I still find it interesting that education for most black girls serves as both a protective factor and risk factor . Protective factors can be defined as (1) characteristics or conditions present in the individual, family, community, or in larger society that can improve a girl’s health and well-being; or (2) supports that can help alleviate or mediate negative outcomes. Alternatively, risk factors are conditions present at the individual, family, community, or societal level that may cause undesirable life outcomes and threaten a girl’s health and well-being.

Oddly enough, a positive educational experience and resistance to oppression in school can actually be a protective factor for some black girls! From an education research perspective, teacher bias and black girls’ resistance strategies and agency deserve to be explored side by side. Nevertheless, discipline disparities in schools not only threaten black girls’ academic achievement but also their socio-emotional health. For example, segregation from the curriculum and one’s peers can lead to social isolation, contribute to peer-to-peer bullying and teacher-to-student bullying. Both positive peer relationships and academic rigor are very important to black girls’ development.

Furthermore, education research is beginning to reveal the long-term consequences of discipline disparities in schools. Education researchers and mental-health practitioners, like myself, witness firsthand in our data and in our offices the strong relationship between adult poverty, mental-health issues, and adult criminalization amongst black women marginalized from school. Stated differently, black girls’ schooling experiences do shape positively and negatively their social, economic, and health outcomes. Our school environments are simultaneously reproducing, contributing to, and reinforcing currently existing racial and gender disparities in our nation.

Drawing from current research in education and related social-science fields, we can make the following recommendations for policy and practice:

Professional development for school staff, including administrators, teachers, and support staff, that centers on the unique learning and socio-emotional needs of black girls.

Education and curriculum that acknowledge and celebrate the achievements and forms of resistance that black girls and women utilized to fight against racial and gender oppression in society.

Culturally affirming education that decenters whiteness and encourages all students to explore the histories and traditions of black Americans and Africa in the U.S. and abroad.

Recruit and retain more black women and men teachers, and other teachers of color, who are highly skilled and knowledgeable about the diverse cultural needs of black students and other students of color.

Facilitate opportunities in school environments for black girls to develop their individual and collective leadership skills. Allow opportunities for girls (and boys) to foster positive peer relationships.

Teachers should read black girls’ and women’s stories; visit and interact within black girls’ and women’s cultural spaces; and study the ideas of black scholars (not simply white diversity experts), so that they can foster authentic interactions and relationships with their students and students’ families.

Put in place resources that serve to cultivate the whole child—mental health, physical and nutritional, financial education, etc.

Advocate for more research and funding that supports initiatives to engage black girls in meaningful educational research that serves to explore and solve problems in their families, schools, and communities.

Explore with black girls alternative forms of expression to showcase their ways of knowing, like spoken word, poetry, art, drum, story writing, dance, theater, etc.

• Stop criminalizing black girls’ bodies, ways of dress, language, hair, nails, and words!

Response From Zakiyah Ansari

Zakiyah Ansari is the advocacy director of the New York State Alliance for Quality Education (AQE), the leading statewide organization that has been fighting for educational justice in New York state. Zakiyah is the mother of eight children and grandparent of three. Zakiyah has dedicated almost 20 years of her life to the fight for educational justice and ending the oppression of black and brown communities:

To Honor Black Girl Joy, We Organize for Education Justice

Like many parents, my journey as an education justice advocate began with a focus on raising my own children and ensuring they each had the best education possible. I joined the Parent Teacher Association at their school in the 2000s, and that connected me with other parents. Through the meetings I regularly attended, I heard about many different inequities affecting our children. Our school doesn’t have art or music; we need guidance counselors; we need books; the safety agents treat our kids like crap. These shared experiences ignited my passion for education justice for all students and a deep commitment to ensure justice specifically for black and brown children. Education justice work has been an almost 20 year learning journey for me, and it includes a comprehensive set of policies that would support and advance black and brown children such as equitable funding, culturally responsive pedagogy, and reducing suspensions and promoting restorative alternatives.

While my children have never been suspended, I’ve heard hundreds of stories in New York and across the country of both the harshness and disparities of school suspensions of students who attend public and charter schools. With the explosion of privately run but publicly funded charters that “sweat the small stuff,” we have seen a militaristic culture in many of those schools, with black students as young as 5 years old suspended upwards of 30 times often with little to no accountability. There is no reason that 12-year-old black girls laughing and giggling at lunchtime should result in the strip search of their bodies. There is something terribly wrong when a school is suspicious that Black girl joy must mean they are on drugs. If you care about children and believe their educational experience should be a liberating one, then we must do something to change the status quo.

We also need equitable funding. Public schools don’t often have the funds needed to provide the very things that keep children engaged—like art, music, sports, and technology, a culturally rich curriculum, not to mention caring educators who reflect the students. When we starve schools of funding and resources we set them up for failure. Coupled with implicit bias and the downright racist policy of zero tolerance, it’s a recipe for disaster.

Let’s get this out of the way. Is there ever a time a student should be suspended? Yes. But suspensions don’t help the students learn or allow the teachers to teach them. At the end of the day, zero tolerance sends a message that children specifically black and brown can’t make mistakes. It leaves no room for alternative ways of discipline, and as we know from the research, zero tolerance funnels black and brown children into the school to prison pipeline.

A big part of our work at the Alliance for Quality Education (AQE) is to provide relief from the educational racism that exists and begin to address and heal the trauma experienced by our children. At AQE, we have real solutions created by those most impacted with strong allies. In collaboration with the youth organization, Urban Youth Collaborative, we are committed to getting the Safe and Supportive Schools Bill passed this year.

The Safe and Supportive Schools Bill in New York is designed to decisively reduce suspensions in the hopes that instead of using suspension as the quick fix for wrongdoing, schools will become equipped to identify the root problem and help students to overcome it, rather than limiting students’ education and later opportunities while ignoring the real problem. We also encourage schools to use a restorative-justice framework, a whole school approach that will consider students and families’ input and will require teachers and staff to be trained. We must call out all state-sanctioned violence perpetrated on our black and brown girls and boys: disparities in suspensions, exclusionary curriculum, and the systemic underfunding of our public schools.

It is the mother in me that pushes me to protect all of our children, but it should be the compassion in all of us that leads us to fight for justice. We need all hands on deck—educators, parents, students—to build this movement together. I believe in the power of humanity, and while we wait for everyone else to catch up with ending the school to prison pipeline, we gonna keep organizing. Education Justice is Racial Justice!

Response From Yolanda Sealey-Ruiz

Yolanda Sealey-Ruiz is an associate professor of English education at Teachers College, Columbia University (TC). She is the founder of the Racial Literacy Project at TC:

Doing Self-Work & Doing Right by Black Girls

Before deeply investigating the disparities in their suspension data, school districts must first acknowledge and affirm the humanity of black girls. They must understand how their practice of disproportionately suspending them is an infringement on their humanity. Black girls deserve to be seen for their complexity and should not have certain aspects of their behavior stereotyped as defiant and deviant. Stereotypes flatten their experiences.

Districts must move away from hackneyed stereotypes and deficit models when describing the needs, desires, and areas for growth of black girls. To move away from this, an acceptance of and appreciation for their unique attributes connected to their ethnicity, cultural and familial practices, language diversity, social class, religion, gender identity, sexual orientation, and other positionalities must be considered when discussing black girls and planning for their academic, emotional, and social success. Educators must also do deep self-work around their biases.

When I founded the Racial Literacy Roundtables 10 years ago, it was for the purpose of creating a space to talk about race. Psychologist Ken Hardy offers an eight-step model of working with youths, like black girls, who have and continue to experience wounds from racism. The steps to his model are: Affirmation and Acknowledgement, Create Space for Race, Racial Storytelling, Validation, The Process of Naming, Externalizing Devaluation, Counteract Devaluation, and Rechanneling Rage. It was clear to me, when the first group of black high school girls facilitated a roundtable on Dec. 9, 2015, at Teachers College, two months after a black girl at Spring Valley High School in South Carolina was viciously body-slammed and dragged across a classroom floor by a white male school security guard, that the young women were embodying Hardy’s framework. These four young women asked all of us: What does it mean to be young, black, and female in America? They held space with over 100 participants in the community to share their stories, validate their worth, and suggest to the teachers, clinicians, parents, and all others in the room what must be done to properly support the social, emotional, and academic success of black girls. They affirmed that we need to listen to black girls more. That next year, I dedicated the roundtable series to black girls speaking their truths.

Numerous researchers continue to provide insight into the discipline disparities affecting black girls: Kimberle Crenshaw, Monique Lane, Bettina Love, Monique Morris, Terri Watson, and Venus Evans-Winters are a few scholars whose work challenges the overdisciplining and undereducating of black girls. They have shed light on the frequency and severity of disciplinary interventions for black girls because they are perceived to be loud and unmanageable. These beliefs give teachers and school officials permission to apply harsh discipline that is intended to control the movement of black girls’ bodies, as was witnessed in the 2015 case of a Milwaukee teacher who cut off the braid of a 1st grader in front of the class because she was playing with the beads in her hair [1]. In the end, the 1st grader was removed from the class, and the teacher only received a $75 fine for disorderly conduct.

The (mis)reading of black girls’ bodies and movements leads to harsh disciplinary actions and, often, suspensions. For school personnel to be imaginative in new ways to relate to black girls, they must engage in the archeology of the self —an excavation to discover where negative feelings about black girls live within them. Before they engage in sanctions and damaging practices against black girls, they must first look within.

We live in a racist society. At the federal and national levels, we are aware of the mistreatment black girls endure in their educational settings. The second Obama administration was moving ahead in powerful ways toward funded initiatives that responded to this reality, but we have once again regressed to Draconian zero-tolerance policies that disproportionately affect black girls. We all must call for a commitment from school districts to invest in eliminating barriers to black girls’ academic and social success. For one, districts that enroll a large number of black girls need robust professional development for their teachers and staff that will lead to meaningful change and support of black girls. In addition, districts need to be more deliberate in creating a college-going culture for their black female students. State accountability measures (for example, a possible My Sister’s Keeper initiative) that are modeled after the national My Brother’s Keeper initiative are a good and just place to start.

[1] See: Teacher Cuts off Girl’s Braid in Front of Class: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Aq1WeS6VCs

Hardy, K.V. (2013). Healing the hidden wounds of racial trauma. Journal of Reclaiming Children and Youth , 22(1), pp. 24-28, spring.

Thank you to Venus, Zakiyah, and Yolanda for their contributions to this third-and-final post in the series. And thanks again to Dr. Terri N. Watson guest-editing all three columns!

Look for the next question-of-the-week in a few days.

The opinions expressed in Classroom Q&A With Larry Ferlazzo are strictly those of the author(s) and do not reflect the opinions or endorsement of Editorial Projects in Education, or any of its publications.

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Opinionator | what does it mean to ‘throw like a girl’.

What Does It Mean to ‘Throw Like a Girl’?

The Stone is a forum for contemporary philosophers and other thinkers on issues both timely and timeless.

Mo’ne Davis, the 13-year-old pitcher for the Taney Dragons from Pennsylvania, has been the sensation of the Little League World Series. A 70-mile-per-hour fastball, impeccable control, back-to-back shutouts, she’s been on the cover of Sports Illustrated and has been interviewed by nearly every major television network. Though the Taney team’s run was ended by an exciting game against Chicago — the most-watched Little League game in ESPN history — Mo’ne’s achievement is impressive by any standard. But why is it that her gender is the “anomaly” that makes her talent mediaworthy?

The act of throwing is an aggressive one, not even remotely associated in our culture with the “feminine.”

In schoolyards and streets, for as long as most of us can remember, “You throw like a little girl!” has been a common insult, almost always directed at a male. In philosophy, the phrase often leads to the consideration of an influential essay in feminist literature, “ Throwing Like a Girl ,” by the political philosopher Iris Marion Young, who died in 2006. Her essay, first published in 1980 in Human Studies, and reprinted often since, deconstructs this trope to analyze the patriarchal and essentialist assumptions that give the insult its sting. It is an essential work not only in feminism, but in thinking about the way embodiment shapes subjectivity, and the essay came to my mind often during the exciting emergence of Mo’ne.

The act of throwing is an aggressive one, a projecting outward — like shooting an arrow from a bow or a bullet from a gun — or martial, like throwing a punch. The thrown object aims to hit something, or someone, or at least a strategic mark. It’s not outlandish to think the act first sprung from hunting, with a rock thrown at prey. None of these characteristics, at least within the parameters Young describes, are even remotely associated in our culture with the “feminine.”

Young acknowledged that “throwing like a girl” is an observable phenomenon. The “girlie throw” results from a restricted use of lateral space that tends to come only from the localized part of the body that is doing the action — the hand and forearm — and rarely uses the whole arm, the whole body, or the extended space around the body that is necessary to execute the throw. Women “tend to concentrate our effort on those parts of the body most immediately connected to the task,” she writes, and do not “bring to the task the power of the shoulder, which is necessary for its efficient performance.” Think of the woman as she passes the pickle jar to the man to open. The inability to not open the jar has nothing to do with inherent strength, Young argues, but has to do the utilization of the entire body for the task, something that is not rooted in anatomical or biological “limitations,” but the whole social, political and aesthetic history of how females come to learn to “be” their bodies in space and time.

“[A] space surrounds us in imagination that we are not free to move beyond,” Young writes of women. Such restriction, constriction and fragmentation can be observed in many everyday movements, including the way a woman walks, sits and carries books (“girls and woman most often carry books embraced to their chests, while boys and men swing them along their sides.”). Women’s movements tend to be reserved, protective, and reactive betraying that “the woman experiences herself as rooted and enclosed.” The experience of female embodiment in sexist society closes space, time and the imagined future possibilities of becoming and achievement. It is a closure not just of the body, but of the mind and will. “Feminine existence experiences the body as a mere thing — a fragile thing, which must be picked up and coaxed into movement, a thing that exists as looked at and acted upon ,” Young writes.

To be sure, there certainly are boys who “throw like girls” (my own Little League memories involve having my throwing style being laughed at by the other boys). Likewise, there are women who do not have comportments that are so restricted. If you observe bodies on the subway or in any city street, you will see women who move more freely and men who are constricted. More variations would emerge in observing both men and women from African, Asian or Arabic cultures. Young herself writes, “The account developed here claims only to describe the modalities of the feminine bodily existence for women situated in contemporary advanced, industrial, urban, and commercial society.” Young did not mean her theory to be comprehensive or without exception, only to emphasize that, “it is in the process of growing up as a girl that the modalities of feminine bodily comportment, motility, and spatiality make their appearance.”

The female body on display, as is the case with athletes, becomes another commodity in the economy of male gazes.

In Young’s conception, to “throw like a girl” has nothing to do with some mysterious female essence that prevents girls from throwing balls or being athletic, but has its “source in the particular situation of women as conditioned by their sexist oppression in contemporary society.” “Throwing like a girl” is a result of the way that females learn to be in their bodies and learn to move in patriarchal space. “Women in sexist society are physically handicapped.”

For Young, the issue is larger than the physical specifics. It is the body, not the mind or spirit, that is the ground of freedom. She draws from the work of the French philosopher Maurice Merleau-Ponty, who, Young writes, locates “subjectivity not in mind or consciousness, but in the body. ”

The most obvious image of the loss of freedom is the body shackled in a prison cell. But just because the chains are not immediately visible, does not mean that the body is not surrounded by various social constrictions and limits. If the body is the ground of meaning-making and subjectivity, the female body in sexist society quickly learns to cut off the very medium through which it might make meaning and cultivate subjectivity.

All athletes are broken down into ever-smaller measurable stats: height, weight, 40-yard dash, vertical leap, etc. The language we use to describe the athlete is often language used to describe the inhuman or the animal—“freak,” “beast,”—more so when it comes to black athletes. Further, athletes become an object of capital, a “brand” to be marketed and sold, to have their face and name mechanically reproduced, disseminated, “traded,” and quantifiable as “profit.” Where then remains the subject? Where then the freedom or, in the language of the existentialists and phenomenologists, the “transcendence” of the athlete?

More From The Stone

Read previous contributions to this series.

The female athlete has the additional “burden” (de Beauvoir’s way of describing how the female experiences her body) of the contradiction (she must be both subject and object, masculine and feminine, active and passive) that make the obstacles preventing the realization of their subjectivity and freedom seem insurmountable. Mo’ne has already had to face such dismissal and sexism. In an interview on “Fox and Friends,” the show’s host Eric Bolling asked Mo’ne a blatantly sexist question: “What about a you know, typically, uh, I don’t know, more female-friendly sport, like soccer? No?” Mo’ne, without hesitation, replied, “Well, I play soccer actually.” (The way that soccer is often dismissed as “feminized” in American culture is a subject for a whole other essay).

Part of the “contradiction” of female embodiment is the fact that in performing the very activity that would reclaim the patriarchal domination and colonization of the space and time, the woman possibly opens herself to even more scrutiny and objectification. The female body on display, as is the case with athletes, becomes another commodity in the economy of male gazes. Her effort to enter the realm of male freedom through her athletic activity only serves to further discredit her as a female because now she is “manly,” or “butch,” or she becomes a “hot” athlete, a pretty little automaton who is not taken seriously. (Think especially of the different ways in which the popular discourse depicts athletes like Serena Williams and Maria Sharapova). “To open her body in free, active, open extension and bold outward-directions is for a woman to invite objectification,” Young writes. It also leads to the “threat of invasion of her body space. The most extreme form of such spatial and bodily invasion is the threat of rape.”

Young female athletes like Mo’ne Davis should be encouraged and supported, not treated as anomalies but as models of what it means to “throw like a girl.” Young girls must learn that their embodiment is a source of freedom, not incarceration, a source of pride, not shame. Athletic activity encourages not only self-mastery but mastery of the space and time through which they become — not to become “strong like the boys,” but to to realize the wholeness of their personality, to be free.

Mo’ne, and all of the other great female athletes past and present, do not only challenge the ways we think about athletic excellence, but, more important, they begin to undo the oppressive and objectified ways in which women come to be in their bodies. Mo’ne is not simply throwing amazing pitches, Serena is not simply acing serves, Maya Moore is not simply swishing nets. They are resisting the colonized space around the female body. They are liberating the female body from its shackles. They are models of activity and autonomy that are as important to gender equality as any law might be.

Freedom is not simply a phenomenon of the will, as the Stoics might insist. Our bodies are both the ground and medium that make freedom possible. To “throw like a boy” or “act like a man” or any of the thousand phrases that use “man” as the model of subjectivity betrays the patriarchal situation inside which our society shapes bodies, shapes what constitute “freedoms” and what types of bodies are allowed to realize those freedoms.

For the woman the very act of reaching back, twisting the body, and hurling an object forward to its target is an act of revolt. It is the assertion of space and place, of freedom and subjectivity. To throw is to not simply be in space, but to be the very ground of space and time. Young’s essay is an important reminder. In this context, to throw is not simply a movement of the body, but a way for the subject to assert herself, her subjectivity, and her freedom by rising above and beyond mere embodiment.

I throw, therefore I am.

Eric Anthamatten teaches philosophy at Fordham University-Lincoln Center and at Parson’s The New School for Design. He has taught at prisons in Texas and New York City, most recently at York Women’s Correctional Facility in Connecticut through a program at Trinity College. Twitter: @eAnthamatten.

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What being a woman means to us this International Women’s Day

The women of Queen’s reflect on the beauty of our identities

• Ally Mastantuono , Tegwyn Hughes
• March 10, 2020
• Arts & Culture , Student Life

This International Women’s Day, we had 23 hours—thanks, Daylight Savings—to think about the contributions and wonderful qualities of women in our lives. From relatives, to friends, to public figures, we are surrounded by incredible women who persist in a world that limits them.

While it’s impossible to define what womanhood means to all women, we thought we would ask the women around us what being a woman means to them. We put out a call to our contributors to ask them about their individual personal experiences with their womanhood. Here are the voices of the women who responded:

“To me, being a woman means being a valuable member of society. 

It means being opinionated, articulate, and strong-willed. It means working to destroy the disgusting double standards that can be forced upon us. You can like wearing makeup and sundresses while also being intelligent and deserving of powerful positions. It means refusing to accept the words “prude,” “slut,” or “bitch.” It means supporting fellow women, when society ceaselessly pits us against each other.

Above all, it means being unapologetic for who we are, what we want, and what we deserve. We’re real human beings like everyone else, and we deserve to be heard. Society will be better for it, not worse.”

— Julia Harmsworth, ArtSci ’23

“To me, being a woman means being myself unapologetically. Through sharing my ideas, pushing boundaries, and finding my own voice, I can prove that although gender is part of anyone’s identity, it should never restrict them to cultural boundaries of how a woman is expected to be. Women are all unique, and that’s the beauty of it.” 

— Geneviève Nolet, ArtSci ’21

“When faced with the question ‘What does being a woman mean to you?’ there are about a million answers, and every day, the answer changes. 

Being a ‘woman’ is multifaceted, complex, and often unfair. It’s a difficult gender to identify with. Society holds us to ridiculous standards, outdated gender norms are pervasive in our daily lives, gender pay gaps are still rampant, and the patriarchy, although facing criticism, is still a force to be reckoned with. Often I find myself frustrated and angered at the situations that still confront us.

Despite this, I take so much pride and hope in knowing that there’s never been a greater time for women. Facing the spread of feminism, #MeToo movements, and strong feelings of solidarity, despite the wide and intersectional diversity of issues faced by women, I am beyond glad to be part of this collective force of womankind. 

Being a woman to me is a lot about strength, mutual support, and love. The women I choose to surround myself with are always there to back me up, to rely on for whatever and whenever with unwavering levels of support. I feel so much comfort in this.

There is certainly far to go, but the tides are changing. I often see this phrase stuck on laptops, bags, or on signs littered all over campus, and every time I do, I feel a little more empowered by the knowledge that ‘the future is female.’”

— Iona Cleave, ArtSci ’21  

“The only way I can describe what being a woman means to me is to say what aspect of my life makes me most proud of who I am: being a sister. I have two biological sisters who are my best friends. When we’re together, I’m both my best and worst self. I’m supportive and supported, loving and loved. It’s the deepest and truest relationship I know. 

I’m honoured and elated to have shared my life with them, and to have grown into a woman alongside them. It’s through seeing who we are today and remembering who we were 10 years ago that makes me take notice of my own personal growth. I have them to thank for so much of who I am today as a woman.

So for me, being a woman is being a sister.” 

—Brittany Giliforte, ArtSci ’20

“Being a woman might come with the unfortunate downside of gender-based discrimination, made worse by intersections like race, class, and sexuality, but I wouldn’t trade it for anything. Being a woman has allowed me to be a part of a beautiful lifelong community. I may have been teased, taunted, and harassed for doing nothing more than existing in this society as a woman, but I always know I can rely on other women to support me and protect me. Our universal negative experiences have brought us together, and I think that solidarity is a wonderful thing.

To me, being a woman also means using my own privilege to support others—Black women, disabled women, and trans women—who face even more barriers than I do. I love being a woman, and I love having the privilege to fight for my right to be a woman with full control over my body, future, and life.”

—Tegwyn Hughes, ArtSci ’20

“To me, being a woman means a lot of different things. Being a woman means being able to be powerful and assertive, yet kind at the same time. It means being compassionate and vulnerable towards those we love in our lives without feeling weak for doing so. It means striving for our goals even in the face of the adversity we may encounter along the way. A large part of this is achieved through a strong female support system that encourages us to be our best selves. For me, my mom, my sister, and my friends have so many great qualities that I constantly inspire to model in my own life.” 

—Anna Logan, ArtSci ’20

Corrections

This article has been updated with a graphic that more accurately represents the scope of the voices of those who contributed to the call for comments on what womanhood means to them.

The Journal regrets the error

International Women's Day , women

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Experts Translate What Her Texts Really Mean And It’s Not Too Confusing

Texting truly is an art form. This is especially true when you're trying to impress someone or win them over. When you first start dating someone new, it’s natural to want to put your best foot forward. You might find yourself paying extra close attention to your appearance, or censoring everything you say to make sure you’re conveying your feelings well. It’s easy to fall into a web of worrying, especially because sometimes, what girls text might vs. what they really mean (or anyone, regardless of gender!) might not match up. That’s why I reached out to dating expert and CEO of Cyber-Dating Project, Julie Spira , for insight on what girls really mean over text during the ultra-confusing pre-DTR phase. Plus, Michelle McSweeney , a researcher and linguist, detailed some of the most common miscommunications in early relationships.

“Both men and women overthink every text,” Spira tells Elite Daily. “If they have read notifications on and don’t reply, it’s easy to get anxious or even angry. If they respond too quickly, is it because they happen to be by their phone and aren’t into playing games, or is it because you’re showing signs of being too interested and needy? It’s exhausting thinking of the possibilities.” She has a point, especially when it comes to how different everyone’s texting habits can be. At the beginning of a relationship, when you are just getting used to each other’s communication styles, each text can feel loaded with meaning. If someone takes “too long” to reply, you might think they’re not interested. If you add an exclamation point, you might worry about sounding “too intense.”

Well, enough of that. Here’s what Spira and McSweeney had to say about common texts and what girls really mean when they send them.

Enthusiasm Indicates Interest

McSweeney previously told Elite Daily that texting at the beginning of a relationship will “tend to have more of a play on words, more jokes, and more references to activities that the couple does together.” Expect lots of flirtation and a light-hearted tone. If the relationship is going well, you’ll also probably find enthusiasm and a clear desire to make plans. “A text that says, ‘I’d love to see you. Are you free to go to a movie on Friday night?’ is a clear indicator they not only want to get together, but they have a plan in mind,” says Spira. “You can even take it a step further and name the title of the film in your text.” Specificity is a good sign that you’re on their mind.

But what are some other signs that show clear interes t? Here are a few examples over text:

• “I woke up thinking about you today. :) It would be even better to see your smile. Would you like to meet for drinks today or tomorrow?”
• “I had a great time with you last night, and don’t want to wait an entire week to see you. Are you up for a hike on Saturday or Sunday?”
• “I’m still smiling from last night’s goodnight kiss. ;) Should we continue where we left off? I can meet you tonight or tomorrow.”
• “I just scored two tickets to the football game on Saturday. Want to come with? ”
• “Going to a party this weekend. You up for being my date?”
• “Should I make a reservation at that restaurant we talked about? Full disclosure: I already looked at the menu and know what I want to order.”

Compliments and mentions of future dates are always a good indication of where your relationship is headed. Tl;DR: when you’re in a strong relationship, their texts won’t leave you guessing where you stand with each other .

Flakiness And Shortness Might Mean A Lack Of Interest

In an ideal world, someone who’s not interested in pursuing a relationship with you will tell you to your face. Unfortunately, not everyone feels comfortable taking that approach and might resort to ghosting or disinterest in texts instead.

But it’s also important to consider that someone’s tone doesn’t always come through accurately in writing. “Unlike in face-to-face conversations, where it is possible to get some feedback when someone misunderstands, in texting, that feedback can be very difficult to interpret,” McSweeney explained. That said, consistent, unenthusiastic texts probably mean something is up.

If someone’s losing interest, Spira says their texts will probably look a little something like this:

• “Can I get back to you?” (“This text is rather lame because it doesn’t even indicate if they’ll be getting back to you in a few minutes, a few hours, or a few days,” says Spira. “It shows you’re lower on the totem pole than a better option with someone else.”)
• “Sorry. Busy this weekend.”
• “Maybe some other time.”
• “I don’t think I can make it. Sorry.”
• “Stuck at work. I’m going to have to cancel.”

A lack of follow-through over text is typically sign that your relationship is in trouble. A couple texts that seem off aren’t always a red flag, but if it becomes consistent, it’s worth addressing with your partner.

What her texts really mean ultimately depend on the individual relationship. Only you can compare the enthusiasm in their texts at the beginning of your relationship to what they look like now. If your recent communication hasn’t been as energetic as it used to be, it might mean they’re ready to move on. Either way, texting isn’t everything, and if your chemistry IRL is still as strong as ever, your relationship might be better off than you think. The only way to know for sure is to talk about it directly, so don’t be afraid to ask about whatever’s on your mind.

Julie Spira , dating expert and CEO of Cyber-Dating Project

Michelle McSweeney , researcher and linguist

This article was originally published on 01.09.17

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Meaning of essaying in English

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• go after someone
• go all out idiom
• go down swinging/fighting idiom
• go for it idiom
• go for someone
• shoot the works idiom
• smarten (someone/something) up
• smarten up your act idiom
• square the circle idiom
• step on the gas idiom

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• Mean Girls Summary

Cady Heron has been homeschooled while living in Africa with her zoologist parents for 12 years. Now in Evanston, Illinois, she is entering public high school for the first time. On her first day, she meets fellow students Janis and Damian, who give her a brief "rundown" of the school's cliques, pointing out the students sitting at each of the different cafeteria tables at lunch. After a fellow student named Jason tries using innuendo to flirt with Cady, Regina George (the most popular girl in school) embarrasses him into retreating. Regina and her sidekicks Karen Smith and Gretchen Weiners, known as The Plastics, admire Cady for her innocence and good looks. They invite her to have lunch with them under a long list of conditions: no wearing a ponytail more than once a week, only wearing pink on Wednesdays, etc. Janis, who considers Regina her sworn mortal enemy, devises a plan for Cady to infiltrate The Plastics and exact revenge.

Cady develops a crush on a fellow math student, Aaron Samuels , but Gretchen explains to her that he is Regina's ex and thus completely off-limits. Cady's interest in him prompts Regina to rekindle their relationship directly in front of Cady at a Halloween party, causing Cady to run off to Janis and Damian and jumpstart their plan. Although the math teacher Ms. Norbury encourages her to join the Mathletes, Cady pretends not to understand math so that she can ask Aaron to tutor her, and he agrees. When Cady tells Aaron that Regina was unfaithful to him, he and Regina break up again. Continuing her sabotage, Cady tricks Regina into eating weight-gain bars, under the guise of weight loss bars. She also masterminds a feud between Gretchen and Regina by making Gretchen feel insecure about not receiving a signed candy cane note from Regina, which reaches a breaking point at the Winter Talent Show.

Despite claiming only to be "infiltrating" The Plastics for Janis and Damian, Cady begins to resemble them more and more, eventually replacing not only Gretchen but Regina, becoming the leader of the group. Janis and Damian renounce her friendship. After Regina learns about the weight gain bars, she retrieves a Burn Book in her bedroom, full of harmful gossip and vicious insults about the various students and faculty members at North Shore High, including a couple contributed by Cady herself. After writing slanderous comments about herself, Regina turns the book in to the principal, claiming it to be the work of Cady, Gretchen, and Karen, and then litters the school with photocopies of its pages. The pages cause a riot that makes the principal call an assembly in the gymnasium, where Ms. Norbury lectures the girls and makes them write apologies and perform trust falls. After Janis's apology reveals the full extent of her and Cady's plan to sabotage The Plastics, Regina storms out and is struck by an oncoming school bus.

Rumors fly that Cady pushed Regina in front of the bus, and everyone including Janis and Damian ostracize her. Her parents register their disapproval of her behavior as well, and her father tries grounding her. One day in math class, Cady confesses to having written in the Burn Book, and accepts blame for it. As a punishment, Ms. Norbury has Cady join the Mathletes so that she can participate in the championship tournament. While facing off against her opponent in a "sudden death" round, Cady realizes that only genuine hard work will solve her problem and lead to success, rather than petty insults or emotional manipulation. She is able simultaneously to provide the right answer, and to leave behind the range of toxic behaviors instilled in her by The Plastics.

Encouraged by her Mathletes peers and Ms. Norbury to attend the Spring Fling dance even though she is grounded, Cady goes and finds that she has been voted Spring Fling Queen. In her victory speech, Cady renounces the title and shatters the tiara into pieces, distributing it to her classmates as a symbol of their equality. By the beginning of the new school year, much has changed: the Plastics have disbanded; Regina has joined the lacrosse team; Gretchen has somehow joined the "cool Asians" clique; and Karen is now the school's weather-girl. Cady returns to being friends with Janis and Damien, who have forgiven her, and the three of them remain on the lookout for upcoming "junior Plastics."

Mean Girls Questions and Answers

The Question and Answer section for Mean Girls is a great resource to ask questions, find answers, and discuss the novel.

The author makes the claim that although male aggression is more talked about, females engage in their own forms of conflict. Select the main strategy used throughout the article to develop the claim. A. The author explains the problem of gender stereotyp

I'm not sure what particular "article" you are referring to.

What does the book burn symbolize?

The Burn Book is a symbol of all the animosity that the junior girls at North Shore High harbor toward one another. It contains a page and photo for each student, becoming almost like an evil counterpart to a normal yearbook. The Burn Book...

What does the phrase “melting pot” mean in the passage The Rush of Immigrants

The melting pot is at the heart of the American immigration system. The melting pot comes from the idea that all of the cultural differences in the United States meld together, as if they were metals being melted down to become a stronger alloy.

Study Guide for Mean Girls

Mean Girls study guide contains a biography of director Mark Waters, literature essays, quiz questions, major themes, characters, and a full summary and analysis.

• About Mean Girls
• Character List
• Director's Influence

Essays for Mean Girls

Mean Girls essays are academic essays for citation. These papers were written primarily by students and provide critical analysis of Mean Girls, directed by Mark Waters.

• Fake Boys and Mean Girls: Comedies of Social Acceptance in the 17th Century and Now
• Beware the Plastics: A Marxist Interpretation of "Mean Girls"

Wikipedia Entries for Mean Girls

• Introduction

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Jamaica Kincaid

Ask LitCharts AI: The answer to your questions

Welcome to the LitCharts study guide on Jamaica Kincaid's Girl . Created by the original team behind SparkNotes, LitCharts are the world's best literature guides.

Girl: Introduction

Girl: plot summary, girl: detailed summary & analysis, girl: themes, girl: quotes, girl: characters, girl: terms, girl: symbols, girl: theme wheel, brief biography of jamaica kincaid.

Historical Context of Girl

Other books related to girl.

• Full Title: Girl
• When Written: 1978
• Where Written: New York City
• When Published: June 26, 1978 in The New Yorker ; 1983 in At the Bottom of the River , Kincaid’s first collection of short stories and reflections
• Literary Period: Contemporary Literature; Postcolonial Caribbean Literature
• Genre: Short Fiction
• Setting: An unnamed Anglophone Caribbean island
• Climax: Mother asks the girl if she is “really going to be the kind of woman who the baker won’t let near the bread.”
• Antagonist: Mother
• Point of View: Second-person

Extra Credit for Girl

Life at The New Yorker. William Shawn, editor-in-chief of The New Yorker , invited Kincaid to write for the magazine in 1974 after an impromptu meeting facilitated by her friends, staff writers George Trow and Ian Frazier. “Girl” was her first work of fiction published in the magazine. Five years later, Kincaid married Shawn’s son, the composer Allen Shawn.

Singing. Mother tells the girl not to sing benna , or calypso music. Kincaid, too, enjoyed singing and had a brief stint as a back-up singer for one of Andy Warhol’s “superstars,” Holly Woodlawn. Kincaid never sang lead because, she insists, she cannot really sing.

• Quizzes, saving guides, requests, plus so much more.

What Does It Mean When a Guy Refers to You as ‘My Girl’? Understanding the Context Behind This Common Phrase.

When a guy refers to you as “my girl,” it can be confusing to understand what he means. Does he see you as just a friend, or is he interested in pursuing a romantic relationship? The answer to this question can vary depending on the context and the individual guy. However, there are some general insights that can help shed light on what it means when a guy refers to you as “my girl.”

Firstly, it’s important to understand that the phrase “my girl” can be used in different ways. In some cases, it might simply be a way for a guy to refer to you as a friend or acquaintance. In other cases, it might be a sign that he sees you as more than just a friend. To determine which is the case, it’s important to pay attention to other cues, such as his body language, tone of voice, and behavior towards you.

Understanding the Term ‘My Girl’

When a guy refers to a girl as ‘my girl,’ it can have different meanings depending on the context and the relationship between the two individuals. Here are some possible interpretations:

• Ownership: In some cases, a guy might use the term ‘my girl’ to assert his ownership or possession of the girl, as if she belongs to him exclusively. This can be a sign of possessiveness and control, and it’s not a healthy attitude in a relationship.
• Affection: On the other hand, a guy might use the term ‘my girl’ as a term of endearment or affection, indicating that he cares about the girl and feels a strong emotional connection to her. This can be a positive sign in a romantic relationship, but it’s important to ensure that there is mutual respect and consent.
• Friendship: In some cases, a guy might use the term ‘my girl’ to refer to a female friend or acquaintance, without any romantic connotations. This can be a way of indicating that he has a close relationship with the girl, but it doesn’t necessarily imply any romantic interest.
• Flirting: Finally, a guy might use the term ‘my girl’ as a way of flirting or indicating his interest in the girl, even if they are not in a relationship. This can be a playful and fun way of expressing attraction, but it’s important to ensure that both parties are comfortable with the level of flirting and that it doesn’t cross any boundaries.

Overall, the meaning of ‘my girl’ depends on the context and the individuals involved. It’s important to communicate clearly and ensure that both parties understand the intentions behind the term. If you’re unsure about what a guy means when he refers to you as ‘my girl,’ don’t be afraid to ask for clarification or express your own feelings and boundaries.

The Significance of Ownership

When a guy refers to you as “my girl,” he is essentially claiming ownership of you. This possessive language can be an indication that he sees you as his girlfriend or someone he is interested in romantically. However, it’s important to note that this language can also be used in a negative and controlling way, so it’s essential to pay attention to the context and tone of the conversation.

Ownership is a legal term that refers to the state of having and controlling property. In relationships, ownership can take on a similar meaning, where one partner feels entitled to the other’s time, attention, and affection. This sense of ownership can be problematic, as it can lead to possessive and controlling behavior.

It’s essential to establish clear boundaries in a relationship to prevent any misunderstandings or unhealthy behavior. It’s important to communicate openly and honestly about your expectations and needs in a relationship. If you feel uncomfortable with possessive language or behavior, it’s important to speak up and address the issue.

In summary, when a guy refers to you as “my girl,” it can be a sign of affection and interest. However, it’s important to pay attention to the context and tone of the conversation to ensure that the language is not being used in a possessive or controlling way. Establishing clear boundaries and communication is essential in any healthy relationship.

The Emotional Context

When a guy refers to you as “my girl,” it can mean different things depending on the emotional context of the relationship. Here are some possible interpretations:

Possessiveness: If a guy refers to you as “my girl” in a possessive way, it may indicate that he sees you as his property or object of desire. This can be a red flag if it comes across as controlling or disrespectful. However, in some cases, it may be a playful or affectionate way of expressing his attraction to you.

Commitment: If a guy refers to you as “my girl” in a committed way, it may indicate that he sees you as his girlfriend or partner. This can be a positive sign if you are looking for a serious relationship, but it’s important to make sure that you both have the same expectations and goals for the relationship.

Affection: If a guy refers to you as “my girl” in an affectionate way, it may indicate that he cares about you and values your relationship. This can be a sweet and endearing term of endearment that shows he enjoys spending time with you and wants to make you feel special.

It’s important to pay attention to the emotional context of the relationship and the way a guy uses the term “my girl.” While it can be a positive sign of commitment and affection, it can also be a warning sign of possessiveness and control. It’s essential to communicate openly and honestly with your partner about your feelings and expectations to ensure a healthy and respectful relationship.

The Cultural Perspective

When a guy refers to a woman as “my girl,” the meaning behind it can vary depending on cultural context. In some cultures, this term is used affectionately and can indicate a committed relationship. However, in other cultures, it may be used more casually, without necessarily indicating exclusivity or commitment.

It’s important to keep in mind that cultural perspectives play a significant role in how individuals interpret and express their emotions and intentions. In some cultures, direct communication about feelings and relationships may be considered inappropriate or taboo, while in others, it may be expected.

For example, in some Latin American cultures, the term “mi amor” (my love) is commonly used as a term of endearment between romantic partners. Similarly, in some African American communities, the term “my girl” can be used to indicate a strong emotional connection, even if the relationship is not necessarily exclusive.

Understanding these cultural nuances is essential when interpreting the meaning behind certain phrases or behaviors. Without this context, it can be easy to misinterpret someone’s intentions or feelings.

In conclusion, the cultural perspective is a crucial factor to consider when trying to understand the meaning behind someone’s words or actions. It’s important to approach these situations with an open mind and a willingness to learn about different cultural perspectives to avoid misunderstandings and misinterpretations.

The Role of Relationship Status

When a guy refers to you as “my girl,” it can mean different things depending on the context and the relationship status. Here are a few possible scenarios:

Dating exclusively: If you and the guy have agreed to be in a committed relationship, then referring to you as “my girl” is a term of endearment that signifies that you are his girlfriend and he is proud to be with you. It can also imply a sense of possessiveness, but not necessarily in a negative way. He wants to show that he values your connection and wants to make it clear to others that you are off the market.

Casual dating: If you and the guy are seeing each other but haven’t defined the relationship yet, then referring to you as “my girl” could be a sign that he is interested in taking things to the next level. However, it could also be a way of testing the waters and seeing how you react. He might not be ready to commit fully, but he wants to see if you are open to the idea.

Friends with benefits: If you and the guy are not in a romantic relationship but have a physical connection, then referring to you as “my girl” could be a way of acknowledging that you have a special bond. However, it could also be a way of avoiding the term “f*** buddy” or “booty call” and making the situation sound more respectable.

Just friends: If you and the guy are platonic friends and he calls you “my girl,” it could simply mean that he considers you a close friend and wants to show affection. However, it could also be a way of testing the waters and seeing if you are interested in something more.

In summary, the meaning of “my girl” depends on the context and the relationship status. It’s important to communicate with the guy and make sure you are on the same page about what the term means to both of you.

The Personal Connection

When a guy refers to you as “my girl,” it can indicate a level of personal connection beyond just being friends. This connection can be built on several factors, including comfort level and trust.

The Comfort Level

A guy who refers to you as “my girl” is likely comfortable around you. He may feel at ease sharing personal details about himself or engaging in intimate conversations. This comfort level can be a result of spending time together, shared experiences, or simply a natural chemistry between the two of you.

The Trust Factor

Trust is an essential component of any healthy relationship. If a guy refers to you as “my girl,” it can indicate that he trusts you. He may feel comfortable confiding in you and sharing his thoughts and feelings. This trust can be built over time through open communication and honesty.

It’s important to note that being referred to as “my girl” does not necessarily mean that the relationship is exclusive or serious. It’s essential to have clear communication with the guy to understand where you stand in the relationship.

In conclusion, being referred to as “my girl” can indicate a personal connection built on comfort and trust. However, it’s important to have open communication to ensure that both parties are on the same page regarding the nature of the relationship.

The Potential Misinterpretations

When a guy refers to you as “my girl,” it can be interpreted in different ways. Here are some of the potential misinterpretations that you should be aware of:

Possessiveness: Some guys may use the term “my girl” as a way to assert their ownership over you. This can be a red flag if it’s accompanied by controlling behavior or jealousy. It’s important to establish healthy boundaries and make sure that you’re not feeling trapped or suffocated in the relationship.

Casual Dating: In some cases, a guy may refer to you as “my girl” as a casual way of acknowledging that you’re dating. This doesn’t necessarily mean that he’s committed to you or that he sees a future together. It’s important to have clear communication about your expectations and make sure that you’re on the same page.

Terms of Endearment: “My girl” can also be used as a term of endearment or affection. It’s a way of expressing that you’re special to him and that he cares about you. This interpretation is more likely if he uses other loving nicknames or gestures towards you.

Friend Zone: Unfortunately, “my girl” can also be used as a way of indicating that you’re just friends. If a guy refers to you in this way but doesn’t show any romantic interest or make any moves, it’s likely that he sees you as a platonic companion rather than a potential partner.

It’s important to keep in mind that context and tone of voice can also affect the meaning behind “my girl.” If you’re unsure about what he means, don’t be afraid to ask for clarification. Open and honest communication is key to any healthy relationship.

In conclusion, when a guy refers to you as “my girl,” it can be interpreted in different ways depending on the context and the relationship between the two individuals.

It can be a sign of possessiveness and territoriality, which can be a good thing if you are in a monogamous relationship. However, if you are not, it can be seen as creepy and controlling.

On the other hand, it can also be a term of endearment and affection, indicating that the guy cares about you and sees you as someone special in his life.

It’s important to pay attention to other signs of attraction and interest from the guy, such as his body language, behavior, and communication style, to get a better understanding of his intentions and feelings towards you.

Ultimately, it’s up to you to decide how you feel about being called “my girl” and whether it aligns with your own values and expectations in a relationship. Communication and mutual respect are key to building a healthy and fulfilling connection with someone.