what is friendship essay in urdu

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My Best Friend Essay in Urdu | میرا بہترین دوست پر مضمون

Today I am writing about my best friend essay in Urdu for class 3 4 5 6 7 8 9th and 10th. One of life’s greatest blessings that not everyone is fortunate enough to experience is friendship. In our lives, we encounter many people, but only a select few truly impact us. One such person who has been able to positively influence my life is my best friend. 

We have known each other for a long time, and our friendship is still growing. She has stuck by me through good times and bad. Most significantly, I consider myself incredibly lucky to have my best friend in my life. I’ll describe how we met and some of her best attributes in this essay about my best buddy.

You can celebrate the unique connection you have with your best friend by writing an essay on them. Nothing compares to a true friend, whether it’s the warmth, care, and affection from a shared trust or the laughter and memories of happy times. Find out what friendship means and how it improves every part of life by reading this essay.

  میرا بہترین دوست مضمون

زندگی کی سب سے بڑی نعمتوں میں سے ایک جس کا تجربہ ہر کوئی خوش قسمت نہیں ہے وہ دوستی ہے۔ ہماری زندگی کے دوران، ہم بہت سے لوگوں کا سامنا کرتے ہیں، لیکن صرف چند منتخب ہی ہم پر اثر انداز ہوتے ہیں. ایسا ہی ایک شخص جو میری زندگی پر مثبت اثر انداز ہونے میں کامیاب رہا ہے وہ میرا بہترین دوست ہے۔ ہم ایک دوسرے کو بہت طویل عرصے سے جانتے ہیں، اور ہماری دوستی اب بھی بڑھ رہی ہے. وہ اچھے اور برے وقت کے ذریعے میرے ساتھ پھنس گیا ہے. سب سے اہم بات یہ ہے کہ میں اپنے آپ کو ناقابل یقین حد تک خوش قسمت سمجھتا ہوں کہ میری زندگی میں ایک بہترین دوست ہے

Our Relationship

ہمارے تعلقات.

جب میرے سب سے اچھے دوست کو ہماری کلاس میں ایک نئے طالب علم کے طور پر داخل کیا گیا تھا، تب ہماری دوستی شروع ہوئی. سب سے پہلے، ہم میں سے کوئی بھی دوسرے سے بات نہیں کرنا چاہتا تھا، لیکن وقت کے ساتھ، ہم قریبی ہو گئے. جب میرے سب سے اچھے دوست نے پہلی بار مجھ سے بات کرنے کی کوشش کی، تو مجھے اپنی آنکھوں کو گھومنا یاد ہے کیونکہ میں نے فرض کیا تھا کہ کوئی فائدہ نہیں تھا اور ہم ساتھ نہیں ملیں گے. میری حیرت کی بات یہ ہے کہ سیشن سال کے اختتام تک، ہم دوستوں کے قریب ترین بن گئے تھے

ہم نے دریافت کیا کہ ہم کس قدر مشترک ہیں اور موسیقی اور لباس میں ہمارے ذوق کتنے ملتے جلتے تھے۔ اس کے بعد سے، ہم ناقابل تسخیر رہے ہیں. ہم نے اپنا سارا وقت ایک ساتھ گزارا ، اور کلاس نے ہمارے بانڈ کے بارے میں سیکھا۔ ہم ایک دوسرے کے گھر جایا کرتے تھے اور اپنی تعلیمی کوششوں میں ایک دوسرے کی مدد کرتے تھے۔ اتوار کو، ہم نے اس بات کو یقینی بنایا کہ ہم ایک ساتھ دوپہر کا کھانا کھائیں. ایک ساتھ مل کر ہم فلمیں اور کارٹون دیکھتے تھے۔

ہمارے موسم گرما کے وقفے پر، ہم ایک ساتھ موسم گرما کے کیمپ میں بھی گئے اور بہت سی یادیں بنائیں. ایک بار گرمیوں کی تعطیلات کے دوران، وہ میرے ساتھ میرے نانا نانی کے گھر بھی گئیں۔ ہم نے وہاں ایک شاندار وقت گزارا. اس کے علاوہ، ہم نے اپنے ہینڈ شیک کو بھی ایجاد کیا جو صرف ہم دونوں جانتے تھے. اس بانڈ کے ذریعے، میں نے سیکھا کہ خاندان خون کے ساتھ ختم نہیں ہوتا کیونکہ میرا سب سے اچھا دوست میرے خاندان سے کم نہیں تھا. دوستی ایک ایسا رشتہ ہے جسے آپ منتخب کرتے ہیں ، دوسرے تمام رشتوں کے برعکس ہوتا ہے۔ 

Good Qualities of My Friend

میرے دوست کی اچھی خوبیاں.

وہ اپنے قد کی وجہ سے میری کلاس کے دوسرے طالب علموں سے الگ ہے۔ مجھے ایک بار کئی وجوہات کی بناء پر ڈپریشن تھا۔ میں ۱۰ویں کلاس کی تمام درسی کتابیں خریدنے کا متحمل نہیں ہو سکتا تھا۔ اس نے پوچھا کہ کیا ہوا ہے تو میں نے اسے ساری کہانی سنائی۔ انہوں نے دعویٰ کیا کہ آپ اتنے دنوں سے اس چھوٹی سی بات پر پریشان تھے۔ وہ فکر مند نہیں ہیں، انہوں نے جاری رکھا کیونکہ انہوں نے ہنسنا شروع کر دیا. میں گھر اور اسکول میں آپ کے ساتھ تمام کتابیں اشتراک کر سکتا ہوں

آپ کو سال کی مدت کے لئے کسی بھی کتاب کو حاصل کرنے کی ضرورت نہیں ہے. اس کے بعد انہوں نے مجھے کہانیوں اور لطیفوں سے چھیڑا۔ میں کبھی نہیں بھولوں گا کہ کس طرح اس نے اس خاص دن میری مدد کی. اس حقیقت کے باوجود کہ ہم بہترین دوست ہیں، ہماری ترجیحات مختلف ہیں

He is shaped by motivation and affection

وہ حوصلہ افزائی اور پیار کی طرف سے تشکیل دیا جاتا ہے.

میرا سب سے اچھا دوست بہت پرکشش ہے، اور ہر کوئی اس سے محبت کرتا ہے، بشمول میرے والدین، کلاس ٹیچر، اور پڑوسیوں سمیت. میری کلاس میں، وہ کامل طالب علم ہے. وہ انتہائی وقت کا پابند ہے اور وقت پر اسکول پہنچتا ہے۔ وہ اپنے گھر کے تمام کاموں میں بروقت اور مستقل انداز میں میری مدد بھی کرتا ہے۔ وہ اپنی کتابوں اور کاپیوں کو عمدہ حالت میں رکھتے ہیں۔ ان کی تحریر بہت عمدہ ہے، اور وہ مجھے بہتر کام کرنے کی ترغیب دیتے ہیں۔

Questions and Answers

Why is having a best friend important?

   ایک بہترین دوست کا ہونا کیوں ضروری ہے؟

ہر ایک کے پاس ایک بہترین دوست ہونا چاہئے کیونکہ وہ ہمارے خیر خواہ ہیں اور ایک ایسا شخص ہے جس کے ساتھ وہ کچھ بھی اشتراک کرسکتے ہیں. دوسرے الفاظ میں، آپ کے والدین یا بہن بھائیوں کے ساتھ چیزوں کو ظاہر کرنا مشکل ہوسکتا ہے، پھر بھی ہم کسی قریبی دوست کے ساتھ ایسا کرنے میں کبھی نہیں ہچکچاتے ہیں. وہ ہمیشہ ہماری حوصلہ افزائی بھی کرتے ہیں اور ہمیں اعتماد میں اضافہ کرتے ہیں۔

What characteristics make a best buddy essential?

کون سی خصوصیات ایک بہترین دوست کو ضروری بناتی ہیں؟

ایک سچے دوست کو ہمدردی ہونی چاہیے۔ تنقید کے بارے میں فکر کیے بغیر، کسی کو ان کے ساتھ کچھ بھی اشتراک کرنے میں آرام دہ اور پرسکون محسوس کرنا چاہئے. انہیں ایک دوسرے کی حوصلہ افزائی اور حمایت کرنی چاہئے۔ لہٰذا ضرورت پڑنے پر ہمیشہ اپنے قریبی دوستوں پر نظر رکھنی چاہیے۔

Do you really consider all of your online buddies to be true friends?

کیا آپ واقعی اپنے تمام آن لائن دوستوں کو سچے دوست سمجھتے ہیں؟

سوشل میڈیا پر ، آپ کے بہت سارے دوست ہوسکتے ہیں ، لیکن وہ واقعی دوست نہیں ہیں۔ وہ زیادہ تر صرف آرام دہ اور پرسکون جاننے والے ہیں. وہ لوگ جو آپ کے طور پر ایک ہی اسکول، کالج، کالونی، یا ملازمت کی جگہ کا اشتراک کرتے ہیں لیکن جن کے ساتھ آپ صرف بامعنی دوستی کی کمی کی وجہ سے اکثر بات کرتے ہیں. ایک سچا دوست وہ ہے جسے آپ مشکل وقت کے دوران مدد کے لئے تبدیل کریں گے. دوسری طرف ، کچھ جاننے والے وقت کے ساتھ ساتھ دوست بن سکتے ہیں۔

Note : I hope you appreciate the reading about the essay my best friend in Urdu for class 5 6 7 8 9 10 and others. You can also read my best teacher essay in Urdu.

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Mera Behtreen Dost Essay in Urdu: Celebrating Friendship

Hello everyone! I hope you are feeling great. Today, I want to share a PDF of an essay in Urdu with you about the importance of My Best Friend in my life titled “Mera Behtreen Dost”. Moreover, In this PDF we will celebrate the invaluable presence and impact of my best friend, Ali, who has been a compulsory part of my life’s journey. Let’s dive into it and celebrate the importance of my best friend in my life.

The Significance of My Best Friend:

My best friend, Ali, holds a very special place in my heart because we have been together since childhood. We have always supported and helped each other, celebrated joys together, and shared our deepest thoughts and feelings with each other.

Ali: The Pillar of Support:

Ali is my best friend because he plays a crucial role in my life. He is always there for me, especially during challenging times, assisting whenever I need help.

Exemplifying Humanity and Morality:

Ali’s kindness and ethical behavior make him a beloved personality in my life. He is a true friend with a genuine heart, always standing by my side and helping me to turn my dreams into reality.

Creating Lovely Memories:

Together, we create countless memories and start some different adventures. In every hardship and every moment of joy, my best friend supports me. He contributed to my growth and development.

Mera Behtreen Dost Essay in Urdu PDF:

The PDF includes:

• An essay about the importance of my best friend in my life.

How to Download:

To download the PDF about the importance of my best friend in my life, click on the “Download” button given above.

Conclusion:

In conclusion, my best friend is priceless to me. His friendship brings happiness and love into my life. He has been with me, he is with me, and he will continue to be with me, forever.

Don’t forget to share something valuable with us about your best friend and the best memories you spent with him in the comments section below. If you need our help on any educational topic like essays, stories, quotes, notes, etc, feel free to contact us, and our team. We will try our best to meet your specific requirements.

Thanks for reading and contributing your time to read our article and PDF. I hope you enjoyed our article and PDF about the importance of my best friend in my life, and explored a lot of information about it. So, don’t forget to share it with your friends, family members, classmates, nearby, and everyone who has a best friend in his life.

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Let’s play our role in friendship and pray for our friend’s long life.

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Dosti shayari: 300+ of the Best Urdu Poetry on Friendship

Urdu poetry on friendship has a long history of praising friendship’s benefits. Poets have utilized their words to illustrate the close link between companionship and its significance in human life, from classical ghazals to contemporary nazms. There is a long history of Urdu poetry delving into the myriad subtleties of interpersonal interactions. And friendship is among its most treasured motifs. Friendship is frequently depicted in Urdu literature as a holy connection that endures across space and time. It is cherished as a relationship that endures life’s hardships and serves as a source of solace and strength.

Friendship poetry in Urdu

The concept of friendship in Urdu poetry extends beyond simple expressions of gratitude for one’s companions. but also looks at how complicated the relationship is. Poets in Urdu poetry frequently talk about the sacrifice, trust, and loyalty that real friendships need to grow. They explore the emotional highs and lows of businesses, illustrating the delight of friendship and the anguish of betrayal. One of the most well-liked genres of Urdu poetry for friends is ghazal. Poetry in Urdu with two lines has long been a popular way for poets to convey their emotions regarding friendship. Couplets, the unit of poetic expression in ghazals, are poems unto themselves. These couplets individually convey distinct feelings and concepts, yet when put together, they form a coherent whole.

May your life be filled with memories and a sweet smile. Each and every friendship moment warms the heart. Friendship adorns life with smiles. Touch your heart each and every time you are buddies.

The peculiar joy of companionship and penetrating sentiments transcend linguistic barriers in Urdu. The indescribable, odd joy of friendship Main chendy dilo ki zazbat koi urdu

Allow the camaraderie and love that are ingrained in your heart to shine through. This love bond is held deep within the heart. The heart is blinded by the light of friendship.

Make friends and perish in the process. This heart-seducing display of friendship in gloves In the stories, you make friends and lose your life. I consume ki mesal, but I’m at a loss for what to do.

Colors splatter, memories pouring down. Friends and companions, celebrate! rangee ki barishoo se yadoo ki bekhairty hain Have fun while you’re with your mates.

This tale about friendship, expressing the love of friends in every Urdu word, ought to move people. You know that dastan, every word in Urdu is the main affection of friends, make a lasting impression

Urdu poem by a friend

The best ghazals in Urdu poetry on friendship frequently depict friendship as a haven from the harsh facts of life. The poets explain the friendship bond with exquisite metaphors. like a ship that transports people across seas or a tree with deep roots in the earth. or a fragrant garden where flowers are in full bloom. The ghazal frequently illustrates how a genuine friendship may go through any difficult times. Another renowned poet from Urdu who wrote about friendship was Faiz Ahmed Faiz. His poem “Dosti” is a really lovely meditation on the nature of this nuanced feeling. Faiz writes a poem in this one. “Dost se hai har khushi, har gami, dosti ke naam se hai roshan zindagi.” Toh uska hal hai sirf dosti ka naam, raaste me agar mil jaye koi gam.

Within the depths of friendship lies a grief. We slowly discuss our buddies. Dosti ki gehriaoo main ak thoat adalah hai. I’m a really good friend.

When our hearts are burdened, we find solace in the company of a friend when we are alone within. Anytime my heart is racing I feel better when I’m with my buddies.

May we always have this friendship’s light with us. May we constantly be of assistance to one another. This friendship’s light has each othern with us. I hope I can always support a friend.

Be an example for the wonderful moonlit nights we spend together sleeping. of camaraderie, turn the heart into a garment Chandni Roshan, You sleep with me in the rat. The friendship’s motto is “dress your heart.”

Let us become a scent in this hue of friendship, aromatic with affection. each other’s sentiments This friendship’s hue is more vibrant than love’s. Let’s fileach otherer’s hearts with our aroma.

May we always travel the path of friendship together. Walking slowly, let’s head out with buddies. Friendship is what has always been our route. We are strolling leisurely, let’s head out with pals.

Within tWithin the depths of friendship is a love. seen. of our companions, captivate the heart There is love hidden in the depths of friendship. It breaks the heart since we are the love of friends.

Download friendship picture in Urdu poem

Poets in Urdu also express delight in hanging out with pals. They portray the joy of laughing, telling stories, and having a wonderful time with friends. In the nazm genre, this motif is especially prevalent. a type of lengthy poetry that frequently delves deeply into a single topic or idea. The music of friendship captivated Allama Iqbal as well. The poem “Ya Rab Dil-e-Muslim Ko Woh Zinda Tamanna De” by him is a stunning tribute to the value of friendship. Iqbal discusses the close friendships between friends in this poetry, calling them a source of inspiration and strength.

May our friendship last forever and never fade from our memories. each other The friendship has an unlimited lifespan. I shall always remember a friend like us.

Let’s spread the love of our partners’ color to fill our hearts with joy. It doesn’t matter what hue friends’ love is. We hope the heart has a very happy day.

FrFriendship is a flower that produces fragrance.ce; let us fill meaningful life The flower of friendship gives fragrance. We have many joys in our lives.

Every person has the secret to friendship within them. Let’s speak truth to each other. Her heart is filled with the pride of friendship. Oh my goodness, I’m so sorry about that.

Grin, be joyful at all times, and fill with joy our pals The curse of smiling: never stop grinning I hope all of us pals have a wonderful, joyous day.

plenty of Urdu poems

Friendship is not restricted to interpersonal relationships in best friend poetry in Urdu SMS. but it includes interactions with inanimate objects, wildlife, and other creatures. Poets personify things to show a close affinity with animals or the natural world. demonstrating that friendship is a tie that transcends interpersonal relationships. Ghalib’s “Dosti” is among the most well-known pieces of Urdu poetry on friendship. Ghalib praises the benefits of friendship in this poetry. characterizing it as a soul salve that can calm even the most distressed heart. “Dil se teri nigah jigr tak utr gai,” the author writes.”Jo khatm na ho Dosti, ab toh ankhon mein hai dam.”

Let friendship be our beacon, and let us never forget each other The friendship tale served as our light. Never forget one of my friends.

This song of friendship seems to speak to everyone’s heart, therefore let’s constantly make our coworkers smile. That is how she puts it, and I’m not sure how to tell her. We always have affection for our friends’ hearts.

The friendship example is contagious, therefore let’s Let’s shield one another from reality. The message of camaraderie permeates our speech. I have a pretty secure friend.

Let us create a happy place in our hearts with a friendship that is based on love. What distinguishes a friendship from a romantic relationship? We transformed the heart into a joyful place.

May the pathways diverge and may the light of friendship enlighten you. at every turn, with our friends by our sides May friendship shine its light upon you. Badl jain in all of our games together, pals.

Let us decorate the home of friendship, may the flower of love rest there. our hearts with joyful clothing Come, let’s play in the city of friendship, the bloom of love. We used musartoo’s clothes to embellish the hearts.

Urdu text poetry by Jigri Yaar

Lastly, Urdu poetry frequently highlights the brittle nature of friendships, recognizing that even the greatest ties can break. Poets express the anguish of losing a friend or the treachery that might result from a trust that is violated. But even in these circumstances, the poets also acknowledge the value of forgiveness and the potential for friendship restoration.

Allow the heart to be tempted by this hue of friendship and let’s take each other in a joyful tidal wave Show your heart this hue of friendship. In the scent waves, I enjoy a companion.

Let us cultivate friendship on the soil of insolence, where the harvest of love was fought. each other with the virtue-filled flowers On the land of friendship is where the fruit of love is sown. I am sorry to hear that, but I am still sad.

May the friendship journey wash away our laziness and constantly keep the proximity of our pals’ arms May I find what I need on this friendship journey. We never stop being touched by our friends’ stories.

This is the duration of friendship, love binding hearts together; let us help each other under all conditions This is the duration of friendship; the heart feels affection. In every circumstance, we must coexist with a friend.

Heartfelt words hold the key to true relationship. Let’s always comprehend and elucidate for our companions. Wearing the secret of friendship in one’s heart is crucial. We comprehend our buddies and we always will.

An illustration of friendship or a perpetually fresh flower fragrance our hearts and be with us A beacon of friendship and a constant source of inspiration We adore Jain’s beauty and companionship.

Poetry written in Urdu is a rich and exquisite art form that honors the centuries-old friendship. Poets utilize words to express the happiness, suffering, intricacy, and frailty of friendships. Urdu poetry on friendship demonstrates the profound and significant bond that friendship may create. It can bring us happiness and laughter while providing cover from life’s storms. and even reach our interactions with the environment. The concept of friendship has long been explored in Urdu dosti shayari. The greatest Urdu poets, including Ghalib, Iqbal, and Faiz, have praised the strength of this spiritual relationship. and praising its benefits as a source of solace and fortitude. Investigating the pleasures of friendship or the laments of solitude. The everlasting insights that Urdu poetry offers about the nature of human interactions never cease to inspire us.

What role does friendship have in Urdu poetry?

For centuries, Urdu poetry has featured the theme of friendship frequently. It is regarded as an important and vital relationship that gives people solace, joy, and support. Urdu poets frequently explore the challenges and delights of friendship via their poetry, illustrating its qualities.

In what ways is the fragility of friendships explored in Urdu poetry?

Which metaphors are frequently employed in Urdu poetry to depict the friendship bond?

Urdu poets frequently employ lovely metaphors, like a tree with deeply ingrained roots, a ship that navigates choppy waters, or a garden where scents waft and flowers blossom, to eloquently convey the bond of friendship. These analogies emphasize the beauty and sturdiness of the friendship ties.

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Essay on Friendship for Students and Children

500+ words essay on friendship.

Friendship is one of the greatest bonds anyone can ever wish for. Lucky are those who have friends they can trust. Friendship is a devoted relationship between two individuals. They both feel immense care and love for each other. Usually, a friendship is shared by two people who have similar interests and feelings.

You meet many along the way of life but only some stay with you forever. Those are your real friends who stay by your side through thick and thin. Friendship is the most beautiful gift you can present to anyone. It is one which stays with a person forever.

True Friendship

A person is acquainted with many persons in their life. However, the closest ones become our friends. You may have a large friend circle in school or college , but you know you can only count on one or two people with whom you share true friendship.

There are essentially two types of friends, one is good friends the other are true friends or best friends. They’re the ones with whom we have a special bond of love and affection. In other words, having a true friend makes our lives easier and full of happiness.

Most importantly, true friendship stands for a relationship free of any judgments. In a true friendship, a person can be themselves completely without the fear of being judged. It makes you feel loved and accepted. This kind of freedom is what every human strives to have in their lives.

In short, true friendship is what gives us reason to stay strong in life. Having a loving family and all is okay but you also need true friendship to be completely happy. Some people don’t even have families but they have friends who’re like their family only. Thus, we see having true friends means a lot to everyone.

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Importance of Friendship

Friendship is important in life because it teaches us a great deal about life. We learn so many lessons from friendship which we won’t find anywhere else. You learn to love someone other than your family. You know how to be yourself in front of friends.

Friendship never leaves us in bad times. You learn how to understand people and trust others. Your real friends will always motivate you and cheer for you. They will take you on the right path and save you from any evil.

Similarly, friendship also teaches you a lot about loyalty. It helps us to become loyal and get loyalty in return. There is no greater feeling in the world than having a friend who is loyal to you.

Moreover, friendship makes us stronger. It tests us and helps us grow. For instance, we see how we fight with our friends yet come back together after setting aside our differences. This is what makes us strong and teaches us patience.

Therefore, there is no doubt that best friends help us in our difficulties and bad times of life. They always try to save us in our dangers as well as offer timely advice. True friends are like the best assets of our life because they share our sorrow, sooth our pain and make us feel happy.

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Urdu words for friendship, friendship के उर्दू अर्थ, friendship کے اردو معانی.

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English meaning of friendship , friendship meaning in english, friendship translation and definition in English. friendship का मतलब (मीनिंग) अंग्रेजी (इंग्लिश) में जाने | Khair meaning in hindi

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The Trouble with Friends

On a daily basis, I teach kids. By kids, I mean teens to college-age, sometimes mid-twenties. When I started teaching, I was still a kid myself, so I was careful to refer to my students as students, but now I feel a distinct gap. Kids talk a lot about their friends. For any length of time that you allow them, they will bring up this friend and that friend and a birthday party they went to, a concert, a sleepover, a study sesh, another party, the mall, a Starbucks run, the movies, a two-week trip across Asia which they’re planning to take or have taken with friends. Kids don’t usually talk about their families. Sometimes I’m taken completely by surprise when, months into our knowing each other, a student mentions having a twin. I suppose hearing the constant chatter about friends has made me consider my own, and how hard it can be to maintain these bonds as an adult. Mostly, what I notice is attrition: I lose more friends than I make.

An obvious reason for that attrition is marriage. Friends get married and their spouses become their closest friends. My husband is now the person I spend the most time with. Face to face and over text. I tell him everything and anything, because I’m a chronic oversharer and I trust him with my thoughts, however stupid they may be. I used to be the same way with friends, but more and more I check myself. My ten-second rule: write the text but wait ten seconds before sending it; evaluate whether it’s truly vital to pass on this piece of information. When I tell friends something now, I must accept the possibility that they will tell their spouses, with whom I’m friendly but not friends. A friendship is truly strained when you don’t like the spouse. Here is my person, your friend proclaims, flag in the sand, and you must tread carefully. Sometimes this new person is so far removed from what you imagined for your friend that you wonder if you knew your friend at all.

After marriage, any walls that already existed between two friends invariably thicken. A friend who used to discuss things with you simply to work through them stops doing so, and updates you only on definitive good news, never the bad, the ugly, or the in-progress. All of that, you suspect, she saves for her partner. In other words, you’re no longer included in the problem-solving. Of course, some matters belong first to the marriage: the stuff of intimacy, finance, family. To have or not have children. To want children but not be able to have them. Increasingly, my friends leave me out of these big conversations, and vice versa, but when an outcome is certain or a plan set, we do update one another, which reminds us that we’re still, in fact, friends, but also boils the friendship down to a PowerPoint.

If I don’t have kids, I will lose more friends. This is not a hypothesis. It has already started to happen. Friends, during pregnancy, assure you that nothing will change. You contribute to the diaper fund, attend the baby shower, and, once the child arrives, you try to see them, plan for dinner at 2 p.m. , between nap times, but, somehow, something always comes up. Next time, yeah, next time, let’s hang out soon, yeah, soon—but no one proposes a new time, and months go by, years. You never see them again, you never meet the child, and that begs the question of how close you really were. You consider the possibilities. Perhaps you said or did something irrevocably wrong. To avoid ever saying anything about a child that could be misconstrued, I overcompensate. I never bring up the child or ask after it, or, if I do, I make the mistake I just made, and refer to the child as an “it.” A likely scenario is that my friends, as new parents, went down their friend list and crossed people out. Having friends without kids is harder for them to justify. What is our baby going to do at their non-baby-proofed place? And remember that time they referred to our child as an it? An it! But I could be overthinking. Doing what writers do, adding nuances to interactions that aren’t there. A simpler reality is that my former friends just don’t have time for me. Parenting is hard enough without their having to worry about my feelings.

I do greatly appreciate the rare friends who stay with me after kids. We meet, as we used to, at restaurants, bars, shows, or, when child care gets hard to schedule, we meet at their apartment, the office now a nursery, now a toddlers’ room, now a girls’ room, and, throughout dinner, the girls (twins), who are supposed to be in bed, come out, one at a time, sometimes together, to tell us that they would like to be read to, they would like to drink an entire glass of water, they would like to go to the bathroom, they would like new pajamas, they would like chicken nuggets, they would like to have their hair combed, they would like a specific teddy, they would like a hug, a better hug, they would like to see a rainbow, they would like to go to the bathroom again, they would like more water, they would like to know if it’s tomorrow. For the short duration of an evening, I greatly appreciate being part of this.

There’s a Grace Paley story that I think of when I think about how friendships end. A woman named Cassie asks her friend Faith, a writer, why she has written about their other friends but never about her: “You let them in all the time; it’s really strange, why have you left me out of everybody’s life?” Faith doesn’t have a good answer and asks to be forgiven.

Forgive you? [Cassie] laughed. . . . With her hand she turned my face to her so my eyes would look into her eyes. You are my friend, I know that, Faith, but I promise you, I won’t forgive you, she said. From now on, I’ll watch you like a hawk. I do not forgive you.

That final line, which is also the last line of Paley’s “Collected Stories,” strikes me as brutally honest and true. When I have trouble forgiving a friend, my husband says it’s because I go all in. I pour everything into a new friendship, the honeymoon period, the getting to know each other. I have an incurable habit of sending pop-up holiday cards. I’m a big fan of digressive group chats. Here are my deepest, most authentic feelings, friend. Please kindly tell me yours . But when that gesture is not reciprocated, when I sense the wall coming up, I’m so mad at myself for having revealed so much that I withdraw.

Sometimes I ask my students to write about a time when they were blindsided, or an incident that made them take stock. More often than not, they turn in stories about a friend betrayal. In one class, a student mentioned that their parents didn’t have any friends. Around the table, everyone nodded. It seemed that no one’s parents had friends, and my students couldn’t fathom this, couldn’t fathom it when I admitted (foolishly) to having fewer friends in my thirties than I’d had in my twenties. Horror. Pity. I tried to defend myself. More horror. More pity. How could this happen to a person? How could a person let it happen? No, it would not happen to them.

The wonder, and the curse, of friendship is choice. You can’t choose your family, but you can choose your friends. For me, common qualities and habits help. Female. About my age. Sense of humor. I would not choose a friend who went out dancing all night on Ecstasy. No offense to dancing or Ecstasy, but in comparison with those things I would be a total bore. I would not choose a friend who had a second home somewhere like the Hamptons or Lake Como or Austria. Of course, it is superficially nice to be invited to garden parties or SoHo lofts, but I don’t want to be the lone Asian woman in that garden wearing a cotton dress and sensible shoes, my only topics of conversation being work, the grind, and not that new art gallery down the street. In other words, the supposed freedom of friend selection goes only so far, and, given how deeply my choices are informed by my background, family, and upbringing, I wonder if they are choices at all.

I’m the only child of immigrants who are not only children but whose siblings and parents stayed in China. I have no cousins here. No aunts, uncles, or grandparents. As a kid, I was distressingly lonely, and, like my students, my younger self placed grave significance on having not just friends but the ability to make them. To befriend was to assimilate and to speak English. To have a friend was to have an ally. I still fear the time when I am alone. Statistics predict that I will outlive my husband, and then what? I get through my last decade texting my friends? Having kids is a solution. I could spend the last decade texting them, or their kids, and getting wrapped up in all that. But I don’t see myself having kids.

I live in a building where the parents are friends because their kids are friends. Hard to say if they would have been friends without the kids, and that makes me wonder if friendship is genuine if the choice to stay connected and on good terms is not entirely a solo one. My husband and I have friends in our building because our dogs are friends. We have a group chat, named after our dogs, with this other couple, and we pet-sit for one another. Our friendship is so rooted in our dogs that, when we ate out together for the first time, dogless, more than a year after we’d started looking after each other’s fur babies, we all felt that it was kind of weird. But then we did it again, and it wasn’t so weird. I used to think that our friendship with this couple was one of convenience, but I don’t think that anymore. Sometimes you have close friends because they are close by and have compatible dogs.

If a friendship is meant to be a give-and-take, an ideal friend should, in theory, give as much as she takes. But this, then, opens the door for the frustratingly fair friend. She weighs every gesture and transaction, splits every bill down to the cent. She remembers every favor, every imbalance of favors. She looks up the price of your birthday gift to her, in order to give you an item of commensurate value. In Chinese, chi kui means “to eat a loss.” This friend will never chi kui , yet is shrewd enough never to seem like she’s taking advantage. Technically, the fair friend is not in the wrong, and if I’m noticing her behavior, then I, too, am guilty of keeping score.

But do I accept the friend who takes more than she gives? The taking is not always tangible. There’s the friend who keeps forgetting her wallet, and then the friend who expects you to be there for her at whatever cost. Inconvenient as it may be for you to step out of class, mute the Zoom screen, get off the subway, this friend is having a crisis and she would like your opinion, even though it’s not an opinion she’ll take; she would still like you to hear and validate her crisis. I’ve never known a crisis friend to have just one crisis, and, before you know it, you’ve read and replied to thousands of texts about her problems, which are all interrelated and endemic, and soon, mired in another emergency that you’re coaching her through, she throws up her hands and announces, “I’ve had it. No one in the world cares about me. I can’t rely on anyone anymore, except myself.” She sighs with profound feeling. You blink, balk. You think, What the fuck have I been doing? What the fuckity fuck has every conversation we’ve ever had been for? Then you realize that what your friend wanted from you is a mother, and, when you couldn’t measure up, you, too, became part of the cold, unfeeling world.

Inverting the dynamic completely is the friend who wants to be your mother. She demands to be relied on, to be your “go-to.” She remembers your birthday, your pets’ birthdays, your wedding anniversary, when you moved to the city, when you plan to go upstate—“about that time, isn’t it?” She knows you. Or thinks she does. She’s the first to like your photos, your tweets, the first to give you the name of a C.P.A., a dentist, a real-estate agent, a doctor (her C.P.A., her dentist, her real-estate agent, her doctor), and for a very long time this feels supportive, until it feels intrusive and like surveillance and not nurturing at all but a show of control. When you seek out your mothering friend in your low moments, you feed her ego. She wants to help, but above all she wants credit for helping you, and she relishes the flex. Whenever you ask after her well-being, she pronounces herself emphatically “great.” You try to poke around more, you sense that she isn’t as well as she claims, and, without fail, she adds, “No, really, I’m great, super, but how about you? You seem stressed. Anything I can do?” How to handle such a question? Do you say, “Yes, please deliver the chicken soup” (which she would gladly do), or do you feel bad for always being the broken one?

I already have a mother, with whom I have a complex, routinely difficult, and uniquely volatile bond that would take over this essay and any story I ever write, should I let it. I don’t need another mother. So I learn to interact with these friends less. I offer up less of my life. I’m great, too, super, never better. I recognize that to question the motives behind a friend’s support is both paranoid and ungrateful. But I worry that if my vulnerability fuels her vanity, then an inherent rivalry exists between us—one that I want no part in—over who is the better friend. I am certainly not the better friend. I can’t remember everyone’s important dates and be there for everything and like every comment within thirty seconds of its existence, and I definitely don’t want to be my friend’s mother. So, if I’m not the better friend, then I’m the worse friend. I’m the one who takes more than I can give.

All this to say that friends grow apart. Commonalities change. Common habits diverge. Qualities that you didn’t much like in a friend amplify, and your own traits, priorities, shift. A friendship is not stagnant, and growing together is usually not the norm. It’s nice to have writer friends, but then all you talk about is writing and how insane you have to be to do it. Nice to have friends with other jobs, but then all you hear about is their work, which you might not understand or care about. Work colleagues can never be true friends, and neither can one’s students. A fake friend is easy to spot, and even easier is the friend or acquaintance who, after a long period of no contact, emerges from literally nowhere with the message Hey! Just saw you published a book! Here’s a picture of that book in a bookstore. Let’s grab coffee and catch up .

Platitudes: A true friend is someone you can be your true self with. A true friend calls you out on your bullshit. A true friend sticks with you through thick and thin. But is any of that really possible or fair? How well do I tolerate being called out on my bullshit, and how comfortable am I now at calling other people out on theirs? Can a true friend stay with you forever, or, a better question, can a friend stay true to you forever? Is Cassie a true friend to Faith?

What my students say: Friendship is a gift, a sacrifice. Friendship is all about timing and who you are at that moment and what you need. My students are always living for the moment, and they have strong opinions about what it means to be a good, true friend. When I was in college, my friend circle was wide and healthy. Thanks to clubs, class, lab, and Harvard’s housing system—“the blocking group,” wherein, at the end of freshman year, you choose up to seven people you are close to, your “block-mates,” and are then sorted into a house with them and live with them for the next three years. To entangle matters even more, your blocking group can link with another group to sort into the same house, and those in the latter group become your “link-mates.” Should you not have a group and have to sort on your own, you’re called a “floater.” These terms were fun to use at the time but are now glaring reminders of how successful my alma mater is at institutionalized friendship. Institutionalized to then build a strong alumni network, which donates large sums back to the nest where the camaraderie began. By the end of senior year, my blocking group, a collection of misfits, had toppled. There was so much politics in my lab, given the constant pressure to publish, and my friends in clubs were already moving on to bigger, better things, like med school, law school, or jobs in the real world. I don’t think my experience was unique. You have friends for the period that you have them for, and that period ends.

I know that a friendship has cooled when I find myself asking, Would we be friends if we met today? I used to think “cooled” meant “over.” In the words of that pop icon my students are obsessed with, we are never, ever getting back together. But “cooled” does not necessarily mean “severed.” Though friends are not family and are not obligated to stay with me, they have accompanied me for part of the journey, and for that I owe them, I owe us, the chance, at some future point, to fortify the bond again.

According to the sociology of group dynamics, a triad is more stable than a dyad because one member can act as a mediator. An example is a doctor, a patient, and a cultural liaison. But I have never found a triad of friends to work as well as, say, a tetrad, and especially a tetrad made up of two couples. In a triad, two people are always closer and risk icing out the third. The exclusion is not usually intentional, but the ousted person always feels that it is, somehow. And what if no one wants to mediate, or the person who mediates also likes power, likes games? I’ve had triads of friends begin, then fail, and, when the final calamity hits, I think of the dumping of water into a nuclear reactor and then of Yeats’s “widening gyre”: “Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold.” My preference for tetrads makes sense only because of my husband. He has been, for me, an ally, a cheerleader, and my first reader, and we have, thus far, a happy marriage. Along the way, we’ve made couple friends as a couple, and I’ve discovered that the tetrad works only when every possible combination of two members does.

There are only a few couples with whom this holds true for us, and there is only one tetrad that we have tested through long periods together and international travel. I evoke my closest childhood friend here, a girl I’ve known since fifth grade. Let’s call her Diana. We have not always been so close. In middle school, she moved away, then my family moved to the city she had moved to, but although we went to the same high school, our social circles rarely overlapped. Still, from middle school on, Diana and I were part of a triad. I was extremely close with the third girl, as we were both immigrant children, from China, and lived in similarly shabby apartment complexes across the street from each other in the rural Midwestern town where the three of us met. The third girl and I often iced out Diana. Together, we were mean. A few years out of college, that girl and I had a huge fight by text on my birthday. (Lesson learned: when friends decide to burn it all down, they don’t care if it’s your birthday because they’ve stopped caring about you.) A litany of grievances was aired and contested, and no one was generous enough to get on the phone. We haven’t spoken since.

By chance, Diana went to college and grad school in the same city as I did. As the triad imploded—she tried to mediate, negotiations failed—I vented to her about it, and, eventually, I stopped venting and she and I became close. She met my husband when he was still my boyfriend. I saw her through her breakup with her high-school sweetheart, a boy who was also a friend of mine, with whom I have since fallen out of touch. By the end of grad school, Diana had found a new boyfriend, who would later become her husband, in a wedding that was delayed three years by the pandemic. Her husband and I get along. My husband and Diana get along. Our husbands have inside jokes with each other, and we buy them matching backpacks to wear when we go on trips. I think the fact that Diana and I are both married has actually made our friendship stronger. That we make a point of travelling together, as a tetrad, at least once a year has taught me that a long friendship has to be maintained. So does family, but, unlike family, a friendship can be deprioritized. My mother will always be my mother, and I will always have space for her, but that’s not how it works with friends. I can choose to take my heart away.

Diana and I and our husbands have now travelled to Europe a few times. No fights, no drama, except the comedic kind. In Paris, Diana was tricked, by her husband and mine, into knocking back a wineglass that had a dead fly in it. In London, at the Harry Potter Warner Bros. Studios, in the Great Hall decked out for the Yule Ball (Diana is a Harry Potter fanatic), her husband—still her boyfriend then—was set to propose, but we couldn’t figure out how to open the “snitch” ring box and we couldn’t get the ring out. In Europe, trains have four seats facing one another. When Diana and her husband and my husband have fallen asleep, and I’m the only one awake guarding our stuff and checking the stops, I think, Why is it always me who stays awake? I also think, I never want this to change.

I chose the name Diana for my friend in tribute to Diana Barry, the best friend of the “Anne of Green Gables” books, by Lucy Maud Montgomery—a series that had an enormous impact on me. They were the first novels I read from beginning to end in English, and I distinctly remember having to look up the term “kindred spirits.” Anne is an orphan who then finds great friends and thrives. A lot of children’s books have this trajectory. See also: Harry Potter.

A final anecdote: the building that I live in houses both faculty and students. Often, I smell weed in the stairwells. Every weekend of the school year, students, never dressed for the weather, are just leaving to go out as my husband and I are coming back in. Sometimes I can’t even move through the lobby, because, when there’s a party in the building, every student is trying to sign in three others. Faculty and students share the common spaces, the laundry room, the elevators. It is very awkward to bump into familiar students while you are removing your underwear from the dryer or while they are removing theirs. A terrible arrangement, I tell people. Mixing students and teachers. But here is something that happened the other day while I was writing this essay. From the lobby, I entered the elevator with my dog. A pair of summer students came in, too, with their suitcases and totes, and my dog and I were pushed into a corner. I was annoyed that summer students were already moving in, less than two weeks after the regular ones had left. I imagined more weed, more parties, full washers and dryers, rank trash drips in the hallways for workers to clean up. Then the two students started talking about their afternoon plans. Today, they were going to go to Central Park, sit on a blanket, make friendship bracelets, and braid each other’s hair. They were earnest. I heard no sarcasm. An interloper to this casual, wholesome moment, I was reminded that, though most friendships are temporary, they are very beautiful in bloom. The friends left the elevator laughing, tote bag to tote bag. All my annoyance went away. ♦

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Essay on Importance of Urdu Language in Urdu

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اردو زبان کی اہمیت پر مضمون

اردو زبان وہ پیاری زبان ہے جس سے محبت کی خوشبو آتی ہے۔ اردو زبان ہندوستان کا فخر ہے۔ اس ملک کو نعرۂ انقلاب دینے والی اردو زبان ہی ہے۔ اردو زبان کی اہمیت کا اندازہ اس بات سے لگایا جا سکتا ہے کہ یہ اردو زبان ہی ہے جو قوموں کے درمیان رابطے کا ذریعہ بنی ہے۔ یہ وہ اردو زبان ہے جس کی شیرینی اور پیرائے اظہار کی نزاکت ہی اس کی مقبولیت کا سب سے اہم راز ہے۔ اردو کا لہجہ جہاں پیار و محبت سے ڈھلا ہے وہیں یہ حسن و عشق کے سوز و گداز سے بھی مزین ہے۔

تقسیم ہند کے بعد اردو کو وہ مقام حاصل نہیں ہوسکا جس کی وہ مستحق تھی۔ اردو صرف زبان ہی کا نام نہیں بلکہ وہ ایک چلتی پھرتی تہذیب کا نام ہے۔ اردو زبان کی بدقسمتی ہے جو اسے ہندوستان میں قومی زبان کا درجہ نہیں دیا گیا لیکن اس کے باوجود گفتگو گفت و شنید اور بول چال میں اسے قومی زبان کا درجہ حاصل ہے۔

ہم سب کو اپنے ذہن سے یہ بات نکال دینی چاہیے کہ ہم یا پھر ہمارے بچے اردو زبان نہیں جانتے۔ حقیقت تو یہ ہے کہ ہم سب اردو جانتے ہیں۔ اردو زبان صرف مادری زبان ہی نہیں بلکہ ہندوستان کی ایک کثیر آبادی آج بھی اردو بولتی اور جانتی ہے۔ لیکن یہ بھی ہماری بدبختی ہی ہے جو ہم نے اردو زبان کو صرف فطری طور پر بولنے کی حد تک ہی محدود رکھا ہے۔

ملک کے سبھی علاقوں کی بول چال کی زبان بلا لحاظ مذہب رنگ و نسل اور ذات پات آج بھی ہندوستانی ہے۔ اس ہندوستانی زبان میں آج ملک کی تقریب ڈیڑھ کروڑ عوام جو الگ الگ زبانیں بولتے ہیں سب کو ایک ساتھ جوڑ کر رکھا ہے۔ تعصب اور تنگ نظری یا پھر کسی وجہ سے ہم جسے ہندوستانی کا نام دے رہے ہیں وہ ہندوستانی کیا ہے؟ ایسے متعصب ذہنوں کو معلوم ہونا چاہیے کہ اردو دراصل اسی ہندوستانی بول چال کی معیاری شکل کا نام ہے۔

زبان کو روزمرہ کے کام تک ہی محدود رکھنا ہی کافی نہیں ہوتا۔بول چال کے علاوہ اس کا لکھنا اور پڑھنا بھی زبان والوں کے لئے بے حد ضروری ہے۔ خاص طور پر ان کے لیے جن کی یہ مادری زبان ہوتی ہے۔

جب تک کہ ہم اپنے بچوں اور گھر والوں کو اردو پڑھنے اور لکھنے کے لائق نہیں بنائیں گے تب تک اردو کے روشن مستقبل کی سب تدبیریں دھری کی دھری رہ جائیں گی۔ ہمیں انفرادی طور پر اردو کے استعمال کو لازمی کرنا ہوگا۔ جب تک ہم انفرادی طور پر اردو کے استعمال کو لازمی نہیں کریں گے تب تک اردو کا تحفظ اور فروغ ممکن نہیں ہے۔

زبان کی اہمیت اس کے استعمال سے ہی قائل اور برقرار ہوتی ہے اور ہمیں اس حقیقت کو بھی تسلیم کرنا ہوگا کہ کوئی زبان کسی بھی زبان سے بہتر نہیں ہوتی۔ دینی مدارس میں اردو کا ہی بول بالا ہے۔ اور مدرسے کے مولانا علماء بھی اردو کے فروغ میں بڑھ چڑھ کر حصہ لیتے ہیں۔ ہم سب کو بھی اردو کے فروغ میں حصہ لینا چاہیے۔

اردو کے استعمال کو کسر شام تصور نہ کریں۔ اردو زبان کا استعمال کریں۔ دیگر سرکاری اسکول دفتروں میں اردو زبان کا ہی استعمال کریں۔ ہماری خواہش یہی ہونی چاہیے کہ آنے والی نسلوں میں اردو زبان سے لگاؤ محبت اور الفت کو فروغ دیا جائے۔