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Latest stories, 80 cow jokes that are udderly hilarious, you know what they say about cows….

Ah, cows . There's nothing quite like them. These black and white, grass-eating beasts that go "moo" are some of the funniest (and most adorable) animals . Just look at them—their tongues are long enough to reach their noses! Whether you're a dairy eater or not, you have to admit that they're pretty amusing. Not to mention, there are plenty of funny cow puns to go around. These silly cow jokes hit the bulls-eye when it comes to hilarity, and we assure you they're udderly hysterical. So mooove on over and check out some of the funniest cow jokes we could find.

READ THIS NEXT: 100 Dog Puns to Make You Howl With Laughter .

Funny Cow Jokes

What did one dairy cow say to the other? " Got milk ?"
Why can't the bankrupt cowboy complain? He's got no beef .
What do you call a cow that drinks too much coffee? Over-calfinated .
What do you call the cow who hit it big playing the lottery? A cash cow .
Why was the cow sad? She was moo-dy .
Why did the two cows hate each other? They had beef .
What do you call a grass-fed cow? A lawn moo-er .
Why did the cow win an award? She was out standing in her field .
Why did the astronauts take a box of cereal and a cow with them? In case they bypassed the milky way .
Where do cows get all their medicine? The farmacy .
Why are cows, such great dancers? Because they have all the best moo-ves .
What do you get if you cross a cow and rooster? Roost beef .
What do you call cattle with a sense of humor? Laughing stock .
How did the farmer find the missing cow? He tractor down .
How do cows laugh? " Moo-haha ."
Where do steers go to dance? The Meat Ball .
What do you call it when one cow spies on another cow? A steak out .
Why did the cow jump over the moon? Because the farmer’s hands were cold .
What did the mama cow say to the baby cow? “ It’s pasture bedtime .”
What did the coach say to the cows? " Now get out there and give me 2 percent !"
Why can't cows wear shoes? Because they lactose .
What do you call a cow on a diet? Lean beef .
Why did the cow go to the spa? She really needed some re-hoove-ination .
Where do baby cows eat lunch? In the calfeteria .
Why don’t cows have any money? Because the farmers milk them dry .
What do you call a cow that can't produce milk? A milk dud .
Where did the bull lose all his money? At the cow-sino .

READ THIS NEXT: 50 Animal Puns That Are Seriously Amoosing .

Cow Jokes for Kids

What do you call a magic cow? " Moo-dini ."
What do you call a cow in full armor? Sir Loin .
What do you get from a pampered cow? Spoiled milk .
What do cows read in the morning? The moos-paper .
Where will you find the most cows? Moo York .
How do you count cows? With a cowculator .
What does a cow watch? MooTube .
What does a surfing cow say? “ Cowabunga! ”
What do you get when you cross a cow and a goat? A coat .
What do you call a sleeping cow? A bull-dozer .
What did the mother cow say to her daughter on her birthday? " You’re so a-moo-sing ."
What do you call a cow that’s laying down? " Ground beef ."
Why did the farmer buy a brown cow? He wanted chocolate milk .
What do cows play at concerts? Moo-sic .
What time is it when a cow sits on your hat? Time to get a new hat .
What do you call a rude cow? Beef jerky .
What kind of math do farm animals like to do? Cowculus .
What happens when a cow laughs? Milk comes out of its nose .
What would we call a cow who won a beauty pageant? " A Dairy Queen ."
Why was the cow afraid? Because he was a cow-herd .
What do you get when a cow jumps on a trampoline? Milkshake .
What do you call a sad cow? Moo-dy .
What do you call a cow in your backyard? " A lawn-mower ."
Why do cows have bells? Because their horns don't work .
How do you make a cow quiet down? You press the moo-te button .

READ THIS NEXT: 77 Bee Puns That Are Un-Bee-Lievably Funny .

Cow Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock, knock! Who's there? Cow go. Cows go who? No, silly cows go moo!
Knock, knock! Who's there? A cow with no lips. A cow with no lips who? A cow with no lips said ooo ooo!
Knock, knock! Who's there? Candy. Candy who? Candy cow jump over the moon!
Knock, knock! Who’s there? Interrupting cow. Interrupting cow, wh — MOOOOOO!
Knock, knock! Who's there? Cow. Cow who? Cow-a-bunga dude!
Knock, knock! Who's there? Moo. Moo who? Make up your mind: Are you a cow or an owl?
Knock, knock! Who’s there? Cow . Cow who? Cow much longer are you going to put up with all this knocking?

Funny Udder Jokes

Why did the cow jump over the moon? Because she wanted to see udder space .
What did the secret agent cow say to the other? “ Are you udder cover ?”
'Why did the cow cross the road? To get to the udder side .
What happened when the cow ran into the fence? It was udderly destroyed .
What happens when you try talking to a cow? Everything just goes in one ear and out the udder .
What did the cow say to his sweetheart? " I am udderly in love with you !"
Why does a milking stool only have three legs? Because the cow has the udder .
What did the cow say at the end of the workday? " An udder day, an udder dollar ."
What do you call a cow that won’t give milk? An udder failure .
What does a farmer talk about when she’s milking a cow? Udder nonsense .

Funny Cow Puns and One-Liners

If you feel like you’ve herd all these cow puns before, you're probably just experiencing deja-moo.
Why does a brown cow give white milk when it only eats green grass?
A publisher who writes is like a cow in a milk bar.
The farmer only counted 299 cows in the pasture, so he decided to round them up to 300.
Once a cow decides to stop shaving, it doesn't take them long to grow a moo-stache.
One of the problems with invisible cows is that they are always herd but never seen.
A cow will never tell you a lie because they simply give you no bull.
I don’t even know what to tell you about this divine bovine I just saw. I mean, holy cow…
I get what you were going for, but you totally butchered that joke.
Make sure you show up on time. Otherwise, Bessie will have a cow.
If you see a cow climbing to the top of a hill, then you know the cream is rising to the top.

Wrapping Up

That's it for our list of cow jokes, but be sure to check back with us soon for even more laughs. You can also sign up for our newsletter so you don't miss out on what's next!

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The 50 Funniest Cow Jokes You’d Ever Hear!

Last Updated on August 9, 2024

In the words of famed American stand-up comedian Jo Koy, “Comedy is just an unspoken language. Everybody understands it. Funny is funny. When it’s not funny, they’ll let you know.”

If you think about it, you will find that the above statement is very logical. Koy firmly believes that Comedy is a great unifier . It can bring various people together under the umbrella of shared laughter. As diverse individuals share a laugh or two, this easily fosters connections and leaves an imprint on all individuals in question.

Whether you’re a teenager or in your 40s, there’s something peculiar about animal-themed jokes. Not just that, but nature-themed puns and one-liners in general. Arguably, cow jokes take the cake (or milk). From inserting the “moo” sound in the most creative ways to the endless puns that one could envision, cow jokes are utterly delightful.

What’s more, they are kid-friendly and can quickly generate a cascade of laughter at the dinner table, a family road trip, or even an animal-themed party.

If you’ve been searching for the perfect animal jokes, or you just want to see how many times you can fit the “moo” sound into a joke, you’ve come to the right place.

We have curated this fantastic list of mind-boggling cow jokes, puns, and one-liners that’d leave you “udderly amoosed!” Without further ado, let’s get this show underway.

Why are cows, great dancers?

They have all the best moooves!

What did the cow tell the butcher?

Please stop, or else we’re gonna have some beef.

Where would you find a cow who’s having an awful day?

At McDonald’s.

What is a cow’s favorite newspaper?

The Daily Moos.

What did the mommy cow say to the baby cow?

It’s pasture bedtime!

What’s an unusual way to make a milkshake?

Give a cold cow a pogo stick.

What would you get if you cross an angry sheep and a grumpy cow?

An animal that’s totally in a “baaaaaad moooood.”

Why do cows wear bells around their necks?

Their horns don’t work.

What do you call a momma cow who’s just given birth?

“Decalfinated.”

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What do you call a group of cows with a sense of humor?

Laughing stock.

Where did the cow spend all its money ?

At the “cow-sino.”

What would you get if you milked a forgetful cow?

Milk of Amnesia.

Why won’t cows join the police force?

They refuse to participate in steak-outs.

What do you call a rude cow?

Beef jerky.

Why couldn’t the two cows get along?

Because they had beef with one another.

What would you call a cow wearing armor?
Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.

What do you call a scared cow?
Where would you find a cow with no legs?

Right where you left it.

Why don’t cows have money?

Because the farmers keep draining them dry.

How did the farmer find his lost cow?

He tractor down!

Why did the cow jump over the moon ?

He thought the mooooon was calling to him.

How do cows introduce their wives?

Hey guys! Meat Patty.

Where do cows usually go on a Saturday night?

To the moovies!

What would feed a bratty cow?

Spoiled milk.

What did one cow say to the other on a cold night?

“I don’t really know about you, but I’m Fresian.”

What do you call a cow after an earthquake?

A milkshake.

Why did the farmer stop making cow jokes?

He kept butchering every one of them.

What do you use to count cows?

A cow-culator.

What do you call a magic cow?
What happened when the cow ran into the fence?

It was udderly destructed.

What do cows put on french toast?

Mooooolasses.

How does lady gaga usually like her steak?

Raw, raw, raw, raw, raw!

What do you call a sleeping cow?

A bull-dozer.

What do you call a cow that can’t produce milk?

An udder failure .

What did the cow say when the farmer pulled its tail?
What do you call a cow that blends in with its surroundings?

Cow-moo-flauged.

What is a cow’s favorite magazine?
When one cow said “Mooo!” to the other, what was the second cow’s reply?

“I was going to say that!”.

Why did the farmer buy a brown cow?

He wanted chocolate milk!

What did the cow say to its therapist?

“I feel seen, but not herd.”

What would happen if you tried talking to a cow?

Everything would go in one ear and out the udder.

Why did the artist love painting cows?

He said they were his moos.

Why does a milking stool only have three legs?

Because the cow has the udder.

What do you get when you cross a cow and a rooster?

Roost beef.

Where do cow farts come from?

Their dairy-ère.

What kind of lunch meat do cows like best?

A bull-ogna.

Why do cows stay close together when it’s cold out?

To keep each udder warm!

Who’s in charge of the dairy operations?

The cow-ptain.

Ultimately, the extent of the power of Comedy is utterly inexplicable, thrilling, and bewildering, all at the same time . It brings people together with ease, strengthens existing bonds, and can alleviate various unfavorable scenarios.

Armed with these hilarious jokes, you have all you need to lighten the mood at the dinner table or break the ice in awkward situations. Remember that humor is a tool of connection. So, feel free to establish relationships and build lasting friendships.

To this end, I leave you with the wise words of Steve Goodier. “Humor can make a serious difference. In the workplace, at home, in all areas of life – looking for a reason to laugh is necessary. A sense of humor helps us to get through the dull times, cope with the difficult times, enjoy the good times and manage the scary times.”

Posted by: Nikola Nikolovski

Nikola is a Wordpress expert who makes sure everything runs smoothly on our website. Wordpress optimization and on-site SEO are both his bread and butter.

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94 Cow Jokes That Are Udderly Funny

Cow jokes are a unique brand of comedy that makes cattle central to its theme. Cow jokes and other farmyard humor are not to everybody’s taste because the majority of funny cow jokes are rather childish. Cow jokes for kids account for a large percentage of bovine humor. Even cow jokes that have more topic-specific definitions have a childish nature to them.

Cow jokes come in a multitude of different styles that satisfy many types of humor. Dad cow jokes are another cornerstone of cattle-based jokes; the simplistic and often deadpan delivery style fits perfectly into any comedy-loving father’s joke arsenal. Puns and clever wordplay are a big part of what goes into many cow jokes. There is consequently an udderlying simplicity to cow jokes— be it milking jokes, cheesy pick-up lines, or flirty cow jokes.

The interrupting cow characterizes the quintessential peak of cow jokes, and while other cow knock-knock jokes exist, very few rise above the quality of the bad-mannered bovine.

Cow jokes aren’t all childish, with some cow jokes having a darker side. Darker cow jokes play on the more sinister nature of the bovine trade, prompting quips about beef and dairy production to adult humor that ranges from naughty to downright dirty cow jokes. The range of joke potential with cow and cattle humor is vast, and this lends itself to the longevity of the best cow jokes. Below, we examine 94 cow jokes from witty one-liners and clever cow quotes to longer, story-driven jokes for everyone down at the farmyard.

15 Funny cow jokes you will milk forever

Truly funny cow jokes do not need to be long or overly complicated. The funniest cow jokes are best kept short and sweet. There is an undeniably childish element to cow humor, but at the end of the day, comedy doesn’t need to be sophisticated to be successful. Getting a laugh is the goal of any joke, and if all it takes is a quick pun or basic play on words, then so be it.

Below are 15 of the funniest cow jokes you will ever hear.

1. Why do cows never follow instructions? Because whatever you say goes in one ear and out the udder!

2. Why should you never try to take a photo of a milking cow? Because it’s pasteurized before you know it.

3. Why did the farmer put his cows on a pogo stick? To make a milkshake!

4. What happens if you milk a cow with dementia? You get milk of amnesia.

5. What do cows do while being milked every morning? They read the moo-s paper!

6. Where does the farmer go to get medicine for a sick cow? The farmacy!

7. Why did the cow jump over the moon? It wanted to see udder space!

8. Why don’t cows ever wear flip-flops? Because they lactose.

9. Did you know that Swiss cows are all religious? No, why? Because their cheese is hole-y.

10. A lady from the city and her traveling companion were riding the train through Vermont when she noticed some cows. “What a cute bunch of cows!” she remarked. “Not a bunch, herd,” her friend replied. “Heard of what?” “Herd of cows.” “Of course, I’ve heard of cows.” “No, a cow herd.” “What do I care what a cow heard. I have no secrets to keep from a cow!”

11. How does a pregnant cow drink her coffee? Decalf-finated.

12. What do you call a hot cow? Medium rare.

13. What do you get when you cross a cow and an octopus? A reprimand from the Scientific Ethics and Integrity Committee and an immediate withdrawal of your grant funding.

14. A pair of cows were talking in the field. One says, “Have you heard about the mad cow disease that’s going around?” “Yeah,” the other cow says. “Makes me glad I’m a penguin.”

15. Why did the farmer not tell any jokes in front of his cows? He didn’t want to butcher them!

10 Fabulous cow jokes for kids

Cow jokes for kids account for the majority of cow-based humor. Cow jokes’ emphasis on a more childish type of humor is because you only have so much room to maneuver with the source material. However, it doesn’t mean cow jokes are not funny just because they’re for kids. Simplicity brings great hilarity. Oftentimes people overlook cow jokes for kids when really, they are some of the funniest jokes around.

Below are 10 fabulous cow jokes for kids.

16. Why do people always smile when they see cows? Because they are very a-moo-sing animals.

17. Why are cows great dancers? They have all the best moo-ves.

18. What did the mama cow say to the baby cow? It’s pasture bedtime!

19. How do you count cows? With a cowculator!

20. What is a cow’s favorite type of play? A moo-sical!

21. Why did the calf fail his test? He made too many mis-steaks.

22. What do you call a cow that can’t make milk? A milk dud.

23. What has the lonely cow been up to lately? Nobody’s herd!

24. What do you call a group of cows with a sense of humor? Laughing stock.

25. What do you call that’s afraid of everything? A cow-ard.

10 Amazing cow dad jokes to make your eyes roll

Cow dad jokes refer to bovine-themed humor for dads. Telling dad jokes of any kind is an art form, and while cow jokes are not necessarily restricted to fathers, the joke coming from an actual dad helps significantly. The true art of telling a dad cow joke is to be as serious as possible with the initial delivery. The secondary element of a successful dad joke is to stay dry with your punchline delivery. Cow dad jokes are intentionally bad, so that aspect needs to be embraced for maximum impact.

Below are 10 amazing cow dad jokes guaranteed to make your eyes roll.

26. Where would you find a cow who’s having a really bad day? At McDonald’s.

27. Why do you call a grumpy cow? Moo-dy!

28. Where do cows eat lunch? In the calfeteria.

29. What do you call a funny cow? A cowmedian!

30. Why did the farmer lose his cows? He didn’t, they were just ca-moo-laged.

31. The devout cowboy lost his favorite Bible while he was mending fences out on the range. Three weeks later, a cow walked up to him carrying the Bible in its mouth. The cowboy couldn’t believe his eyes. He took the precious book out of the cow’s mouth, raised his eyes heavenward, and exclaimed, “It’s a miracle!” “Not really,” said the cow. “Your name is written inside the cover.”

32. Why are cows so competitive? Because the steaks are high.

33. What do you name a fat cow? A Big Mac.

34. Why does a milking stool only have three legs? Because the cow has the udder.

35. How did the farmer find the missing cow? He tractor down.

4 Hilarious cow knock-knock jokes to keep you laughing

Cow knock-knock jokes are a natural extension of bovine humor. Very few comedy topics do not have their own brand of knock-knock humor. The classic cow knock-knock joke involves a rather rude and bad-mannered cow. Meanwhile, the best cow knock-knock jokes are simple and don’t try to overcomplicate themselves. The jokes are what they are and make no excuses for themselves.

Below are four hilarious cow knock-knock jokes to keep you laughing until the cows come home.

36. Knock, knock! Who’s there? Candy. Candy who? Candy cow jump over the moon!

37. Knock, knock! Who’s there? Cow says. Cow says who? Don’t be silly, a cow says Mooooo!

38. Knock, knock! Who’s there? Cow. Cow who? Cow much longer are you going to put up with these jokes?

39. Knock knock. Who’s there? Cow. Cow who? Cow-a-bunga, dude!

7 Incredible cow one-liners to put a smile on your face

Cow one-liners are short, sharp, and snappy jokes. Cow one-liners are ordinarily more wordplay based than out-and-out jokes. One-liners are no less worthy of humor than any other joke. Cow one-liners require a deft touch and a quick mind. Short single-line jokes have no set-up and, as such, must be thrown into the conversation at a moment’s notice. Using cow one-liners effectively is consequently an under-appreciated skill.

Below are 7 incredible cow one-liners that will leave a smile on your face all day long.

40. An udder day, an udder dollar.

41. Farmers don’t need to worry about taxes. They have the best ac-cow-tants.

42. What did the surfing cow say? Cow-abunga.

43. If that cow doesn’t quiet down, I’ll have to push its moo-te button.

44. Is a cow in an earthquake called a milkshake?

45. If you feel like you’ve herd all these cow puns before, you probably have deja-moo.

46. It’s cow or never, dudes.

7 Sensational cow pick-up lines for the bravehearted

Cow pick-up lines are romantic, cattle-themed one-liners. Cow pick-up lines are best used by those experienced in such matters and who are unafraid of the potentially catastrophic repercussions. Cows are not known for being the most romantic or sensual animals. Creating cow pick-up lines is hard work, and it takes a brave soul to actually use them. Furthermore, the skill of a true comedian is reading a room. Cow pick-up lines are not something to crack out often, but when the right opportunity arises, it is best to be prepared. After all, fortune favors the bold.

Below are 7 sensational cow pick-up lines for the truly bravehearted.

47. You are udderly beautiful.

48. Are you a bull? Because I want to ride you.

49. Do you know a cow can lick its nose? I can’t lick mine, but I can lick yours.

50. I will worship you like how they worship a cow in India.

51. You know, a cow’s horns aren’t the only thing that is pointy.

52. I wish I were a cow so that you would be the first person I see every morning.

53. I would give your father at least ten cows to have you as my wife.

5 Fun and flirty cow jokes for when you need it most

Flirty cow jokes are not the most natural form of cow-based humor. There is very little room or need for flirting to involve cows unless you have a specific audience or live in a farming community. Flirty cow jokes fall into a similar niche of seldom-used cow-themed humor as cow pick-up lines. As a result, flirty cow jokes need to be handled by a skilled joker who has the utmost confidence in their abilities. The results will otherwise be less than desirable for the jokester.

Below are 5 fun and flirty cow jokes best reserved for in case of emergency.

54. What did the cow say at the end of his date? I would love to graze your field.

55. What’s the similarity between me and your bull? We’re both really horn-y.

56. You must work on a dairy farm? How do you know? You’ve got amazing calves!

57. What do cows say on a date? I am udderly captivated by you.

58. How do cows pay for dinner when out on a date? They calf it!

6 Absurdly dirty cow jokes just because

Dirty cow jokes are a must because any joke set benefits from a subset of dirty and adult-only jokes. The true art of understanding dirty cow jokes is not in memorizing them but in knowing how and when to use them. For example, dirty cow jokes do not always need to be sexual, but they generally consist of innuendo and vulgarity in some form. Cow jokes additionally lend themselves naturally to adult-based humor due to the prevalence of words like udders, teats, milking, and horns.

Below are 6 absurdly dirty cow jokes that you need to know simply because they exist.

59. Ducks go quack, Cows go moo, Let me stick it in And you’ll go, “Oooooh.”

60. What did the bull say when he saw the cow’s udders? I’m gonna milk you for all you’re worth.

61. What do you call a cow with two legs? Yo momma.

62. I was having dinner at my boss’s house. His wife said, “How many potatoes would you like?” I said, “Just one, please.” She said, “Oh, come on, don’t be so polite!” I said, “Ok. Just one, you ugly cow.”

63. The wife says to her husband: “Bulls can have sex more than 20 times in a day. I wish you could do that…” To which the husband replied: “Just remember they do it with more than one cow…”

64. What do you call a bull having a wank? Beef strokin’ off.

What is the classic interrupting cow joke?

The classic interrupting cow joke is a joke that has many variations that depend on timing and phrasing. No list of funny cow jokes could be complete without an interrupting cow joke due to the involved set-up. There are many different ways to set up the style of humor, but you must be considerate of when you implement it and what cow-themed phrases you employ. For example, the trick with telling the ultimate childhood cow knock-knock joke is in your timing. A lack of timing is also something to consider if you want to give the interrupting cow joke a dry or deadpan spin.

One of the first knock-knock jokes we learn as kids is the interrupting cow. The joke is one that incorporates several humor elements, namely the knock-knock set-up and the art of dramatic timing. Kids revel in being able to interrupt an adult as part of a joke. Interrupting people is rude, so that fact alone adds an extra element of fun and naughtiness to the joke. Kids feel as though they are getting away with something while still staying within the boundaries of what is acceptable.

Below is the classic setup for the interrupting cow joke.

65. Knock knock. Who’s there? Interrupting cow. Interrupt—— MOOOO!

6 Unforgettable milking jokes to crack you up

Milking jokes are a natural extension of cow jokes because cows produce milk . Milking jokes are not the most common form of cow humor, but enough of the jokes for them to warrant inclusion. Milking humor instinctively lends itself to more adult themes. However, there are plenty of great milking jokes that are suitable for use in any situation.

Below are 6 unforgettable milking jokes that will crack you up time and time again.

66. A farmer was milking his cow. At one point, he noticed a fly buzzing in the cow’s ear. Shortly after, the farmer looked down at the bucket and noticed a fly swimming in the milk. “Huh,” said the farmer. “In one ear, out the udder.”

67. Where do Russians get their milk from? From moss-cows.

68. Why do cows never have any money? Because the farmer milks them dry.

69. What is the trickiest part about making skimmed milk? Throwing a full-grown cow across the lake.

70. Did you hear about the cow who just sprays her milk everywhere? She is an udder failure.

71. Why did the farmer wear a peg on his nose when he milked his cow? Because of the aroma from the dairy air.

6 Succulent beef jokes best served medium rare

Beef jokes are a niche area due to their specificity. Good beef jokes are hard to find, but those that do exist never fail to get a laugh. The best beef jokes are a collection of different joke styles, from dad-ish humor to those of a more adult persuasion. Cow humor, and especially beef jokes, are never going to be the backbone of your comedy routine. However, sprinkle a few beef-themed humor in from time to time, and they keep people guessing and, most importantly, giggling.

Below are 6 succulent beef jokes that your audience will eat up with glee.

72. Why did the two cows get into a fight? Because they had beef!

73. Why was one cow spying on the other? Because it was on a steak out.

74. What do you get if you cross a cow and a rooster? Roost beef.

75. What do cows say when they apologize to one another? Sorry, I made a mis-steak.

76. What did the cow say to the angry farmer? Please calm down, or else we’re going to have beef!

77. What do bulls wear on their feet when it’s raining? Beef Wellingtons.

5 Great bull jokes to cap off your routine

Bull jokes are a variation of cow jokes that center on the male counterpart of the species. Bull-themed jokes bring to mind adult phrases. However, the best bull jokes are far more child friendly. Bull jokes are heard on playgrounds and around dinner tables. Good bull humor is consequently something everybody can enjoy, though there are some bull jokes that are for a more mature audience.

Below are 6 great bull jokes that help round off your routine.

78. Why do bulls wear bells around their necks? Because their horns don’t work!

79. What’s another name for a sleeping bull? A bulldozer!

80. What do you call a bull with a nervous twitch? Beef jerky!

81. Did you hear about the cow that wasn’t interested in bulls? She was a Ho-Moo-Sexual.

82. How do you stop a bull from charging? Cut up his credit card!

6 Sweet dairy jokes that are the cream of the crop

Dairy jokes are a natural extension of cow humor. Dairy jokes are somewhat limited in their numbers but offer a robust selection of joke styles, from puns and dad jokes to more tongue-in-cheek jokes that will undoubtedly cause a few blushes in your audience. It’s reasonable to assume that dairy jokes are just an offshoot of milking jokes. However, dairy jokes have enough style to be their own dedicated niche as our selection exemplifies.

Below are 6 sweet dairy jokes that show the cream really does rise to the top.

83. Did you hear about the cow that went on a round-the-world trip? It was legend-dairy.

84. What would we call a cow who won a beauty pageant? A dairy Queen.

85. What do you get when you cross an elephant with a dairy cow? Peanut butter.

86. What did Gladdis the Cow say to Brenda the Cow when her boyfriend, Bull, cheated on her? How Dairy!

87. What did the bull ask the cow on her way to the dairy? Hey, moo, got milk?

88. What did the cow say to his nan? Are you my dairy godmother?

5 Funny cow quotes to make you chuckle

Puns and funny cow quotes are a method of getting a chuckle without having to go through an entire joke. Funny cow quotes provide ample scope for subject and execution. The quotes consist of everything from puns to silly questions that will always be a hit with a younger audience. Not all jokes or attempts at humor need to be high-brow. The low-hanging fruit is sometimes exactly what you need in order to break the ice and ease into the edgier material in your repertoire.

Below are 5 funny cow quotes that will make you and your audience chuckle.

89. Do dwarf cows give condensed milk?

90. Why does a brown cow give white milk when it only eats green grass?

91. A cow is best seen but not herd!

92. A publisher who writes is like a cow in a milk bar.

93. Kiss me until the cows come home!

94. If a cow laughed, would milk come out of her nose?

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170+ Cow Jokes That’ll Make You Laugh and Moo

Published on June 20, 2023

Mark Simons

Here are 174 cow jokes to make your day better. It might even alter how you view these friendly, mumbling animals that roam our meadows. Prepare to enter the weird world of equine conversation. In our amusing article, cows play a prominent role as active characters. It serves as a ruminant that produces milk. They might develop into singers, mountain climbers, chefs, explorers, and many other occupations.

Table of Contents

Punny Cow Jokes

What’s a cow’s favorite place to go on the weekends?

The moo-vies!

The cow joins the circus for which reason?

She wanted to be a moo-seum piece!

How do you make a cow laugh?

Tell it a funny dairy joke!

Calf-eteria Jokes

What is a grumpy cow known as?
What do you call a cow eating grass in your backyard?

A lawn moo-er!

Why don’t cows use cutlery?

They like to eat with their calves!

Mootivational Cow Jokes

What’s a cow’s favorite motivational quote?

Seize the day by the horns!

How does a cow stay fit?

By doing daily calf raises!

What’s a cow’s favorite yoga pose?

The cow-face pose!

Bovine Bash Jokes

Why was the cow the star at the party?

Because she was utterly fantastic!

Why did the cow become a musician?

Because she had the moosic in her!

What do cows wear to parties

Moo-squerade masks!

Farmer’s Folly Cow Jokes

What do you call a magic cow?
Why did the farmer ride his cow?

It was too tired to drive his tractor!

Cow Politics Jokes

Why did the cow run for president?

She wanted to serve in the moo-jority!

What did the cow lobbyist say to the politician?

We’re not just some cash cows you can milk for votes!

Cow-median Jokes

What do you call a cow that tells jokes?

A com-moo-dian!

What’s a cow’s favorite comedy show?

Moo-dern Family!

Cow-llision Course Jokes

How do you refer to a cow that climbs a barbed-wire fence?

Udder destruction!

Why did the cow crash into the fence?

Because she didn’t cow-culate the distance!

Cowstruction Jokes

What did the cow say to the construction worker?

Got milk? Cause I got bricks to lay!

What’s a cow’s favorite construction tool?

A bull-dozer!

Mootual Friends Jokes

Why do cows make great friends?

They never steer you wrong!

What do you call a cow who plays matchmaker?

A moo-tual friend!

Cow and Tech Jokes

How does a cow tweet?

Moo-t #grasslife #cowlife!

Why did the cow buy a smartphone?

To keep up with the moosic!

Cow Spy Jokes

What’s a cow’s favorite spy movie?

Moo-ssion Impossible!

What do you call a cow spy?

Under-cow-ver!

Cow Space Jokes

What do you call a cow in space?

An astrono-moo-t!

Why did the cow go to Mars?

To be the first cowmoonaut!

Cow Vacation Jokes

Where do cows go on vacation?

Moo York City!

What’s a cow’s favorite vacation activity?

Basking in the sun and saying Moo-nicure, please!

Cow Love Jokes

What did the bull say to his love interest?

I’m udderly in love with you!

What’s a cow’s idea of a romantic date?

A lovely stroll through the pasture under the moo-nlight!

Cow-Moo-nication Jokes

What language do cows speak?
What did one cow say to another during a chat?

It’s time to hit the hay!

Cow Fashion Jokes

What do you call a cow who designs clothes?

Moo-chel Kors!

Why are bells worn by cows?

because their horns are ineffective!!

Super-Cow Jokes

What do you call a superhero cow?
Why did the cow wear a cape?

She wanted to be an udderly fantastic superhero!

Cow Sport Jokes

Why do cows make terrible football players?

They always get caught trying to milk the clock!

What’s a cow’s favorite sport?

Calf-lifting!

Cow Pirate Jokes

What is a cow pirate called?
What’s a cow pirate’s favorite treasure?

Cow Magic Jokes

What do you name a cow with magical abilities?

Moo-gician!

Why did the cow bring a rabbit to the magic show?

She desired to produce a rabbit from her hat!

Cow School Jokes

What subject are cows best at in school?
Why did the cow get detention?

For playing hooky to go to the moo-vies!

Cow Warrior Jokes

What do you call a cow warrior?

A moo-sashi!

What’s a cow warrior’s favorite weapon?

The moo-rning star!

Cow Office Jokes

What is a cow that works in an office called?

A bull-pen!

Why did the cow apply for an office job?

She had excellent cow-munication skills!

Cow Art Jokes

What do you call a cow who paints?
What’s a cow’s favorite style of painting?

Pasture-lism!

Cow Cuisine Jokes

What’s a cow’s favorite type of pizza?

Moo-zzarella!

What do cows cook at a BBQ?

Beef burgers!

Cow Travel Jokes

Why don’t cows make good tourists?

They’ve seen one pasture, they’ve seen them all!

Where did the cow go for her summer vacation?

The Moo-seum!

Cow Holiday Jokes

How does a cow celebrate Christmas?

By singing Moo-ry Christmas carols!

What’s a cow’s favorite Halloween costume?

Cow Business Jokes

What do you call a cow who starts a business?

An en-tre-moo-neur!

What’s a cow’s favorite business model?

Franchise, because they can really milk it!

Cow Science Jokes

What is the name of the scientist cow?

A Chemoo-striest!

What was the cow scientist’s greatest invention?

Pasteurized milk!

Cow Literature Jokes

What’s a cow’s favorite book?

To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Cow!

What do cows write their secrets in?

Their dairy!

Cow Philosophy Jokes

Why did the cow become a philosopher?

She pondered, To be or not to be… milked!

What’s a cow’s favorite philosophical concept?

Moo-tualism!

Cow Mathematics Jokes

Why do cows like math?

Because it’s moosic to their ears!

What’s a cow’s favorite geometric shape?

A moo-bius strip!

Cow Weather Jokes

What do you call a cow caught in bad weather?

A rain-dairy cow!

What’s a cow’s favorite type of weather?

When it’s partly cow-dy!

Cow History Jokes

What do you call a historical cow?

His-moo-ry!

Why did the cow study history?

To learn about the moo-mentous events!

Cow Home Jokes

What do you call a cow who organizes home spaces?

Moo-rie Kondo!

Where do cows go to relax at home?

The living moo-m!

Cow Dream Jokes

What do cows dream of?

Pastures new!

Why did the cow go to sleep?

To dream about the moo-n!

Cow Poetry Jokes

Why did the cow write a poem?

Because she was feeling moo-tiful!

What’s a cow’s favorite type of poetry?

Moo-saic verse!

Cow Superstition Jokes

Why are cows considered lucky?

Because they’ve got four-leaf cloo-vers!

Why did the cow carry a horseshoe?

For good moo-ck!

Cow Exercise Jokes

How do cows stay fit?

They always hit the moo-ve!

What’s a cow’s favorite exercise?

Calf raises!

Cow Adventure Jokes

Why did the cow go on an adventure?

To see where the moo-n shines!

What’s a cow’s favorite adventure movie?

Indiana Jones and the Last Cow-sade!

Cow Family Jokes

What do you call a cow’s family gather?

A moo-nion!

How does a cow introduce her husband?

Meet my bull-friend!

Cow Astronomy Jokes

Why did the cow become an astronomer?

She wanted to study the Moo-lky Way!

What’s a cow’s favorite constellation?

Cow Movie Jokes

What’s a cow’s favorite movie?

The Sound of Moo-sic!

Who is a cow’s favorite director?

Moo-tin Scorsese!

Cow Disguise Jokes

What do you call a cow in disguise?

An udder-cover agent!

How do you know when a cow is hiding something?

She becomes evasive when asked about her moo-tives!

Cow Justice Jokes

What is fighting for justice cow call for?
What do cows use in the courtroom?

Moo-tual agreements!

Cow-Medical Jokes

What should you call that cow who delivers babies?

A midwife… no, a midcalf!

Why did the cow go to the doctor?

She felt udderly terrible!

Cow Psychology Jokes

What’s a cow’s favorite psychological concept?

The power of moo-sitive thinking!

Why did the cow become a psychologist?

She was interested in the moo-d swings!

Cow Dance Jokes

What’s a cow’s favorite dance?

The moo-mba!

Why did the cow go to the dance party?

To moo-ve and shake it!

Cow Cosmetics Jokes

What beauty product does a cow use?

Moo-scara!

What’s a cow’s favorite skincare bran?

Moo-rad!

Cow Ecology Jokes

Why did the cow become an environmentalist?

She wanted to reduce her hoof-print!

What’s a cow’s favorite recycling slogan?

Moo-duce, Reuse, Recycle!

Cow Mythology Jokes

Who’s a cow’s favorite Greek god?

Moo-seidon!

In which mythological place do good cows go when they pass away?

Moo-nt Olympus!

Cow Gaming Jokes

What’s a cow’s favorite video game?

Legend of Moo-lda!

What do you call a cow that plays video games?

A moo-mer!

Cow Pop Culture Jokes

Which pop star do cows love the most?

Moo-donna!

What’s a cow’s favorite pop song?

Moo-nlight Sonata!

Cow Zodiac Jokes

Which zodiac sign do cows connect with the most?

Taurus!

Why did the cow read her horoscope?

She wanted to see if it was a good day for moo-dling!

Cow Architecture Jokes

Who is a cow’s favorite architect?

Moo-seo Kondo!

What type of houses do cows love?

Barn-style, of course!

Cow Gardening Jokes

What do you call a cow who gardens?

A plant-moo-ologist!

What’s a cow’s favorite flower?

Moo-lips!

Cow Space Travel Jokes

Why did the cow go to space?

She wanted to see the “moo-n” up close!

What did the cow say about her space journey?

It was out of this world, udderly space-tacular!

Cow Wizardry Jokes

What do you name a cow that performs magic?

A moo-ggle!

What’s a cow’s favorite spell?

Expelli-moo-s!

Cow Time Travel Jokes

What do you call a time-traveling cow?

A moo-naut!

What did the cow say after returning from a time travel journey?

That was udderly un-moo-lievable!

Cow Robotics Jokes

What do you call a robot cow?

A moo-tomaton!

What’s a cow’s favorite sci-fi movie?

Transfarmers: Moos in Disguise!

Cow Aviation Jokes

Why did the cow become a pilot?

She wanted to join the moo-leage of extraordinary flyers!

What’s a cow’s favorite airplane?

The Boeing 747, because it’s a real jumbo jet!

Cow Water Sports Jokes

What’s a cow’s favorite water sport?

Cow-noeing!

Why don’t cows make good swimmers?

They’re afraid of getting their moo-kini wet!

Cow Winter Jokes

What’s a cow’s favorite thing about winter?

Getting to wear her moo-ffler!

What do you call a snowman cow?

A fro-moo-sty!

Cow Spring Jokes

Why do cows love spring?

They can finally moo-ve outdoors!

What’s a cow’s favorite spring flower?

Daffo-moo-dils!

Cow Performing Arts Jokes

What do you call a cow who loves theatre?

A moo-vie star!

What’s a cow’s favorite play?

Romeo and Moo-liet!

Cow Adventurer Jokes

What’s a cow’s favorite adventure?

Moo-ntaineering!

What do you call a cow exploring the jungle?

Moo-gli!

Cow Chef Jokes

Why did the cow become a chef?

She loved making moo-saka!

What’s a cow’s favorite cooking show?

Moo-ster Chef!

Cow Carpentry Jokes

What do you call a cow who does carpentry?

A moo-sician!

What’s a cow’s favorite tool?

A moo-let!

Cow Baking Jokes

What do you call a cow who bakes?

A moo-ffin maker!

What’s a cow’s favorite baked good?

A moo-nut!

What do you call a pirate cow?

A moo-tineer!

Why did the cow join a pirate crew?

She wanted to sail the Seaven Seas!

How come the cow attended magic school?

She wanted to perform moo-gic tricks!

What’s a cow’s favorite magic spell?

Abra-cow-dabra!

Cow Music Jokes

What genre of music is favored by cows?

Moo-sic!

Who is a cow’s favorite singer?

Moo-ichael Bublé!

Cow Party Jokes

Why do cows make terrible party guests?

They tend to milk all the attention!

What did the cow bring to the party?

Moo-sic for dancing!

What do you call a cow who’s a secret agent?

James Moo-nd!

Mission: Im-pasture-ble!

Cow Riddle Jokes

Why did the scarecrow make a cow his friend?

Because she was outstanding in her field!

What is red, white, and black all over?

A sunburnt cow!

Cow Jungle Jokes

Why don’t cows make good jungle explorers?

They’re afraid of moo-nkeys!

What did the cow say when she saw a lion?

Moo-ve over, king of the jungle!

Cow Cooking Show Jokes

Moo-sterChef!

Why did the cow start a cooking channel?

She wanted to share her secret to making the perfect moo-saka!

Cow Celebrity Jokes

Who is a cow’s favorite celebrity?

Moo-lia Roberts!

What’s a cow’s favorite talk show?

The Moo-prah Winfrey Show!

She wanted a world with more moo-nity!

What’s a cow’s favorite political slogan?

Make America Graze Again!

Why did the cow bring a suitcase?

She was ready for an udder country!

What do you call a globe-trotting cow?

A moo-ver and shaker!

Cow Internet Jokes

Why do cows make poor internet users?

They leave hoofprints all over the keyboard!

What do you call a cow who starts an online business?

An e-moo-preneur!

Cow Writing Jokes

What do you call a cow who writes novels?

An author, or should we say auth-cow-r!

Why did the cow join a writing workshop?

She wanted to improve her moo-scripts!

Cow Cryptocurrency Jokes

What do you call a cow who invests in cryptocurrency?

A bit-cow-in investor!

Why did the cow buy Dogecoin?

She heard it was a barking good investment!

Cow Renaissance Jokes

Who’s a cow’s favorite Renaissance artist?

Moo-chelangelo!

What’s a cow’s favorite Renaissance painting ?

The Moona Lisa!

The 174 cow jokes showcase the comedy’s comedic inventiveness. They also more fundamentally highlight the importance of laughter and humor in our daily lives. Like cow’s milk, a good jo ke or pun can lift our spirits by making us laugh and building a sense of community.

I am a passionate beer connoisseur with a deep appreciation for the art and science of brewing. With years of experience tasting and evaluating various beers, I love to share my opinions and insights with others and I am always eager to engage in lively discussions about my favorite beverage.